


So Klingt Liebe (That Sounds Like Love)

by NotTilItsFinished (Pyrate0804)



Series: So Klingt Liebe [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abduction, Alpha Abby Griffin, Alpha Anya (The 100), Alpha Lexa (The 100), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Assault, Biting, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Bonding, Breathplay, But once it gets going... Look out, Chance vs Fate, Dom/sub, F/F, Fingering, Fluff and Angst Too, G!P, Knotting, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Spouse, Love at First Sight, Marking, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mistaken Identity, Modern Omegaverse, Omega Clarke, Omega Octavia Blake, Omega Raven, Oral, Other, Past Abuse, Past Character Death, Past Mate Loss, Past Miscarriage, Porn With Plot, Power Dynamics, Rough Sex, Scissoring, Smut Smorgasbord, Spanking, Triggers, Tropes, bit of a slow burn, distracted driving, mild anal, mild violence, not just sex, past lexa/costia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2019-10-22 23:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 447,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17672474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyrate0804/pseuds/NotTilItsFinished
Summary: A night out at the club seemed like a good idea all around. For some, it was to celebrate life, the birthday of a friend; for others, it was a way to finally begin moving on, after months and years spent in grief and loneliness. Either way, somehow, they all got more than they bargained for.A story of love and life, and all the other complications that come along the way.**Updated First Chapter Author's Note on 02/23/19**





	1. The Alphas and The Omegas

**Author's Note:**

> First, I’d just like to say thank you to my wife, who without which I may have never discovered my passion for writing. It was she who first encouraged me to try it, and she is the one who listens to me babble on about it now. She’s also the one that never complains when I want to spend nearly every waking minute working on this monster of a story… Really, she’s the best.
> 
> Now, I can get on to talking about the fic itself. It’s taken me nearly two years to complete, and while I am still planning to skim each chapter for last minute errors before posting it, I imagine that I will be able to post a chapter a day, or every other day. Hopefully, it shouldn’t take me more than six weeks or so to get it all posted. This is assuming that work doesn’t get in the way too much, and that I actually sleep more than five or six hours a night, but as my internal alarm likes to wake me up extra early most days, I think I shouldn’t have any problems keeping a regular-ish posting schedule. Despite my editing, and then editing again, I’m sure there will still be errors here and there. I try to have really high standards for grammar, but I make mistakes too. Please, if you notice anything glaring (sentences that just stop half way through or words that don’t mean what I think they mean), please drop me a comment so I can look at any such problems.
> 
> Something I would like to point out about this story, is that while there is a lot of Clexa content here, this is in no way a Clexa-centric story. As far as I can tell, perspective is split up pretty evenly among my main cast of characters: Lexa, Clarke, Anya, Octavia, Abby, and Raven. Some chapters will be only Clexa, but just as many won’t be. This is not me trying to discourage anyone from reading on, but I just wanted to be clear up front. Along with my love for Clarke and Lexa together, I personally am a huge fan of Doctor/Mechanic and have included them in my world. When I first started this fic, I thought about pairing Octavia according to canon, with Lincoln, but I’ve always thought that she and Anya would have made quite the pair, and thus I chose to go that direction here. Not to say that Lincoln is totally ignored in this story, but there’ll be more on that later. (I wouldn’t want to give anything away.)
> 
> ** Update- 02/23/19
> 
> All that being said, I think you're missing out if you don't read on... I have had several readers comment to say that they don't usually like the Raven/Abby pairing, but in this story, they are actually rooting for them. I have had just as many people say that they didn't know how they would feel about Anya/Octavia, only to have fallen in love with them too. If you originally skipped this story because of these pairings, I ask you to just give it a chance. I don't think you'll regret it...
> 
> **
> 
> I have posted a companion piece, called So Klingt Liebe: A Forward, which includes information some people might find interesting, but also isn't absolutely necessary to the story ahead, especially if you're familiar with other ABO universes. It spells out a little of the history and science of the 'So Klingt Liebe' world, in what I hope is an almost textbook sort of way.
> 
> Lastly, I will say… Check The Tags. If something mentioned there offends or triggers you, I suggest choosing a different fic to read.
> 
> Kudos and comments always appreciated, but as I have learned from previous experience, not every comment is appropriate for the public, so I will be screening comments before they go up. Rest assured, if you've got constructive criticism, your comment will not be denied, but haters will not be tolerated. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this enough to see it though to the end. I know I enjoyed every minute of writing it either way.

When Lexa’s phone started vibrating, she knew who it was before she even looked at it. She had been reluctantly texting back and forth with Anya for over an hour. She guessed her cousin was finally off of work and was tired of being avoided. She picked up the phone and clicked the answer call icon with a sigh. “Hey, An—” was all that she could get out before her cousin gruffly jumped in, “Lexa, I don’t understand why you won’t just call Titus, and hear him out yourself. If I hear him say, ‘Oh, I wish Heda was still here,’ one more time I might freak out.” Lexa couldn’t help the chuckle that slipped then, Anya’s Titus impression was pretty impressive even if it was a little exaggerated.

Anya huffed loudly though, obviously frustrated, and Lexa could understand her frustration. She knew she was being unreasonable, but she just didn’t think she could go back _there_. She sighed heavily, because they’d had this argument a few times before and this time wasn’t going to be any different. “I know what Titus wants, Anya. You’ve told me how he badgers you about it, but I just don’t know how I feel about getting back into the scene, ok?” She paused for only a second, partly to catch her breath, but also to steel herself before she added, “And I know what you’re gonna say, so don’t even start. This has nothing to do with Costia.”

Lexa grimaced as she heard Anya growl heavily into the phone, “Of course, it does. Everything always does!” Anya’s tone left no room for argument, so Lexa simply sat and waited for Anya to continue. “Look, I know the club is just chock-full of fond, fuzzy memories for you, but I meant it when I said it’s changed. The crowd is a lot smaller now, and there are so many new faces. I bet if you went with me Saturday night you’d see just how much that place really needs you.” Her cousin sighed again, and Lexa thought that was going to be it, but then Anya pushed on, “I mean, the kids, they have so much energy… They’re just waiting for that perfect set. That one that pulls at them and draws them out. The one that helps them let it all go, to dance like nobody’s watching, but still feel like everybody’s watching, you know?”

Lexa smiled, even though Anya wasn’t there to see it, because she knew exactly what her cousin meant. There was something about a good beat that could just make people move. Lexa considered the memories for a moment though; all the smiles and winks and longing stares, the kisses and more, a lot more if she was being honest. She and Costia had shared so much, been together so long, that when it all fell apart, it had sent Lexa into such a tail spin that only by pouring herself into her music did she even survive. She had always heard people say that the sheer feeling of losing a mate could literally kill the surviving partner, but she never believed it herself, that is until it almost happened to her.

Costia had been Lexa’s everything; knowing each other since grade school, Costia had at one point been her only friend and confidant. They had grown up together, thick as thieves, always getting into trouble together. They had been partners in crime, and study partners, and even teammates; always the best of friends. When tragedy had touched Lexa’s life the first time, with the untimely death of her parents, Costia had been the one Lexa had clung to, the only constant in her life, the only thing that kept her grounded. It was a rough few years, but later, when high school was finally done, and they were considered adults, they moved off to college together; Lexa to study music, with Costia studying to be a nurse. At the time, it had seemed to Lexa that they were going to be friend’s forever, but just when she had settled for that, that’s when their relationship had changed.

Their sophomore year, Lexa had landed a gig as a DJ for a house party at a frat off campus. It didn’t pay, but Lexa wasn’t doing it for the money; she just wanted to inspire people, to ride the energy of the crowd, the energy she had created with her music. She was marveling over the crowd when she caught sight of Costia for the first time that night. Costia’s wild hair was flailing about, and her body was loose as she moved to the music. Lexa thought she’d never seen a more beautiful sight. She was almost too caught up in watching to see it, but when one of the frat-boy types pushed his way over and into Costia’s space, Lexa didn’t hesitate. She moved like she had a plan when in reality she wasn’t really thinking at all. All she could see, all she could comprehend, was the look of shock and disgust on Costia’s face when the unknown alpha pushed up behind her and grabbed her hips. Lexa’s instincts overrode her good sense and before she could stop herself, she pumped her most possessive and dominating pheromones out to the frat-boy, all but demanding he submit to her. Not a moment later, his eyes jerked up to meet hers, just as his knees buckled under the weight of her will. With Costia safe for the moment, Lexa had excused herself back to the turntables, but she didn’t take her eyes off Costia the rest of the night just in case.

Costia hadn’t been unaffected by the display either, practically throwing herself at Lexa the second they got back to their shared dorm room. Lexa would have been surprised, if the feeling of Costia’s lips pressed against her own hadn’t felt like such a great relief. Lexa had always lived for Costia, having harbored a crush on her friend for longer than was probably healthy, but it seemed Costia had felt the same way, and for almost as long. It was natural what happened from there. Young and in love, they rushed into their bond, exchanging marks before the semester was out. They finished college together. They went out together. They did everything together. Lexa thought surely when Costia died, they would die together, as well. Lexa had felt it too; that moment when she had heard, “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more we can do for her,” her pulse paused, even if it was only for a second or two. Every time she relived that night, she could swear her heart had actually stopped beating for good that night, it was just the rest of her that had never gotten the message.

Reality came rushing back to her though, when she heard her name, Anya’s voice tight with worry, as she asked, “Lex, you still there?”

Still reeling from her stumble down memory lane, Lexa wondered about that question for just a moment. ‘Am I still here?’ she thought, as she listened to Anya breath on the other end of the line. Feeling a sudden resolve, Lexa quickly cleared her throat, and replied, “Yeah. You know what, you’re right. I’ll do it. I need to get out of this apartment. I need to get out of this... this. I need to see people moving again, hell, see people period.” She paused for a second, imagining what it would feel like to be surrounded by people again. “You’ll have to drive though, ‘cause I’ll definitely need to ‘pre-game’ if I wanna get past the front door,” Lexa added as she demonstrated the air quotes with her hands.

“You just air quoted ‘pre-game,’ didn’t you?” Anya asked, amusement clear in her laughing tone. Lexa flushed and hesitated to reply and that seemed to be all the confirmation that Anya needed. She laughed harder still and choked out, “God, Cuz, you may be an alpha, but we have got to work on your style.”

“Hey!” Lexa protested, “There’s nothing wrong with my style… I’m sure there are plenty of people who are into that sort of thing.”

Lexa could almost hear Anya’s coy smirk, as she sarcastically replied, “Oh yeah? And, what sort of thing would that be?”

Lexa considered for a second, a little unsure of exactly what she had meant. She knew she could be the charming, suave alpha Anya was suggesting she be, but something about that didn’t feel right. If she was going to open herself up to someone again, they’d have to be pretty damn incredible, and she knew that someone that special wouldn’t care if she wanted to watch documentaries on the couch or go out to the club, as long as they were together. Anya huffed again, and Lexa knew she had been quiet too long again, and finally said, “That I can be both, one half smooth as fuck and the other half a goofy dork.”

Anya burst out laughing at Lexa’s blunt response and Lexa grimaced as Anya howled in her ear, “Did you just say you’re a fucking, goofy dork?!”

Another round of Anya’s boisterous, irritating laugh and Lexa had had enough. “Fuck you,” she spat, attempting a stoic and bitter tone, but she was sure she mostly just sounded hurt and tired.

“Love you too, Cuz, really I do… Anyway, about Saturday night. I’ll head over about eight, so I can help you figure out what to wear. I know you have issues getting dressed on your own sometimes,” Anya jabbed unapologetically.

Lexa winced a little at Anya’s still-sharp tone, but pushed it aside, wanting to get in at least one jab of her own in before they were done. “Make it seven and I’ll braid your hair if you want. I know you have issues…” Lexa boldly said, before allowing her voice to trail off, smiling because she knew how much it would irritate Anya not to get the last word.

 

~~~

 

Anya waited for Lexa to finish, but the call went dead instead. She shook her head, trying not to get angry, because truly, she was glad her cousin had even answered the phone. Several times in the past year Anya had called, only to find Lexa’s voicemail box still full, probably from her own messages. Those times, Anya at least knew her cousin was still alive, because of Lexa’s daily, sometimes hourly, blog activity. Mostly, Lexa posted mundane things like funny memes or critiquing comments on this DJ or that band, but sometimes the tone would change, and she would post theories about death, and the afterlife or vaguely cryptic things about ending things, about her fight being over. Those days Anya would physically go to Lexa’s apartment and drag Lexa out of her own head, kicking and screaming if she had to; other times, Lexa was so out of it, Anya had to help her cousin get back on her feet, literally. With her upbringing though, Anya had always felt like she had a duty to protect her cousin, despite Lexa’s insistence that she was ‘more than capable of taking care of herself.’

The truth was that while Lexa could do many, many things, sometimes she needed help, and even when Lexa was too proud to ask for it, Anya had always been there for her, because that’s what family does. Families take care of each other, and love each other, and sometimes they just put up with each other’s shit. She wanted to say she didn’t feel resentment towards her cousin about it, and for the most part she didn’t, not anymore anyway. The importance of family was something that Gustus had always touted on. He had always said that he hadn’t even needed to think about it taking Lexa in, that family came first, no matter what, but Anya had been in high school when Lexa had come to live with them, and Lexa had been too young to really understand what Anya’s dad had meant. On more than a few occasions, Anya had begged her dad to let her go out for a Friday night party or a Saturday shopping trip with her friends, only to be told, “You must stay here with Lexa while I am at work, you know this. She is too young to be at home alone.” Anya couldn’t help laughing though, remembering how, at least in the early days of them living together, Lexa had followed her around like she was her squire or something, always seeking out Anya’s approval and advice. Anya always gave it to her too, not because she pitied Lexa or thought she was incapable of making her own decisions, but because she sensed Lexa that sometimes Lexa needed a guiding hand, even if that guidance included a relentless amount of teasing, that more often than not ended in a growling match. Like most sibling-type relationships though, those tapered off after Anya moved out at 18.

Finally afforded some freedom, Anya paid her own way through college by joining the National Guard. She had majored in criminal justice, thinking she’d follow in her father’s footsteps and become a cop when she graduated. Instead of living on campus, she’d rented a tiny studio apartment, and she found she loved living alone. No one to share the bathroom with, and walking around in her underwear whenever she wanted, was Anya’s idea of paradise. She went to class, and she trained with The Guard three weekends out of the month. She did her homework, and went on dates, and just generally did things that all her peers were doing. She made friends, real adult friends that did adult things, like get drunk and wrestle in the backyard at some friend-of-a-friend’s house party or spend half the night puking because they thought six shots of tequila, finished off with a gin and tonic was a good idea.

There were times when she let that freedom really get away from her though, like when her dreams of becoming a cop, or even a detective someday, were thoroughly dashed. She got in the car with the wrong girl and ended up being detained for drugs that weren’t even hers. Her father had pulled some strings and made sure she wasn’t charged, but there was still the red flag on her record that wouldn’t go away as easily. It would take years to get the arrest taken completely off of her record, if she could get it expunged at all, and by that time it would too late for her to apply directly to the academy through her college program, forcing her to wait for an open enrollment period, one that would probably never come.

Screwing up her career options wasn’t only the way Anya rebelled though. Her love life was pretty much shambling mess, too. Some would have probably called it ‘sowing her wild oats,’ but most would call it being a player, but Anya always thought of her one-nighters as making up for lost time. Anya wouldn’t consider herself picky when it came to a selecting a bedmate for the night, but she hadn’t settled down with anyone; no one attracting her attention long enough for her to want more than just a passing fling. It wasn’t that she consciously decided to be the ‘love’em and leave’em’ type, she simply got bored easily. She had imagined on several occasions what it must have felt like for Lexa, to have loved so deeply, committed herself so intrinsically, and then lost her mate. The thought was almost enough for Anya to never want a mate, to never have to feel that pain, but deep down, she knew someday she would meet someone that counted, someone that mattered, she just had to have her eyes open when they showed up.

Anya went about her evening, much like many others in her semi-solitary life, making a simple dinner for one and idlily surfing a dating app on her couch in her underwear until it was a reasonable enough hour to go to bed. As always though, the app held a few prospects, but again, no one that really caught Anya’s eye, for more than just a one-night stand anyway. Eventually, she became exhausted from all the fruitless swiping and decided it was time to turn in for the night, regardless of whether or not it made her feel old to go to bed at nine o’clock on a Friday night. When she finally settled into her bed, she couldn’t help but think about her planned outing with Lexa and how she was going to finally help her cousin see there was light in the dark, for both of them, if they’d just look for it.

The next day was much like every other day at Center City Medical Center, the hospital where she worked security, but with one exception. Anya found herself standing in front of her boss, asking for time off. She would never admit it, but she was almost nervous. A former Army Major, Cara Byrne was generally a hard ass, and as such, usually when Anya needed time off, she would just ask around until she found someone to switch shifts with and it was no big deal, but apparently there was some government official having surgery at the hospital and the security team was already stretched thin from all the double shifts that the Senator’s presence in the hospital required. She didn’t want to cancel on Lexa when she had finally convinced her cousin that she needed to get out, but when Byrne asked, “What can I do for you, Anya?” Anya hesitated a little, unsure how to begin.

The silence became almost awkward before Anya finally asked, “Well, you’ve heard me talk about my cousin, Lexa, right?” She only got an expectant look in response and she quickly decided to stop wasting her boss’ time and lay it all out there, “Well, she has finally agreed that she needs to crawl out from under the rock she’s been living under, and I need Saturday night off to take her out.”

Anya could instantly see the wheels turning behind her boss’ eyes, but Byrne just stared at her for a long moment, before, finally, those eyes softened just a little, and she said, “I have heard you talk about Lexa and it is obvious you care for her very much, but is there no other night that would work with your schedule? I’m sure you have heard about Senator Wallace’s presence at CCMC next weekend.”

Anya shook her head, because, while sure they could go out another night, Lexa had already agreed. Even if Anya was just rescheduling their plans, Lexa might change her mind, and they were well past the period where Anya could just tell Lexa what to do and except her to comply. “Ma’am, you know I wouldn’t even be asking if this wasn’t important,” she began, hesitating for just a second before she really played her hand, “So important in fact, that I would consider calling in sick at the last minute in order to keep our plans.”

She fought down a grimace when Byrne all but growled at her, “That’s insubordination, Woods. I could have you written up just for threatening that.”

Anya didn’t cower away from the gruff tone though, simply matched her will against the former Major’s and said, “We all make choices, Ma’am. Sometimes they’re the best for everyone, but sometimes you have to make choices for yourself and those closest to you.”

The wheels were turning again when Anya met her boss’ eyes, but this time it seemed they were working overtime. As the seconds ticked by, Anya couldn’t help but wonder if Cara Byrne was just going to fire her and be done with it. Anya knew she would probably deserve it, too, but she held on to her hope as Byrne drew in a long breath. She felt utterly relieved when Byrne finally said, “You’re nothing if not loyal, aren’t you? Well, I suppose I won’t fire you. I’ll even give you Saturday night and Sunday morning, but I expect you here and ready to work Sunday afternoon for a split… and then… you will take any split shift I give you for the rest of the month with no complaints or you’ll be in front of HR so fast it’ll make your head spin.”

Anya didn’t waste time being shocked at the response, simply too glad to have her time off to go out with Lexa, and still have a job to come back to after it was over. She crossed quickly to her boss and thrust out her hand, saying, “Thank you, Ma’am. I couldn’t ask for a better deal than that. I’ll see you on Sunday.” Then, she got the hell out of there before Byrne could change her mind.

 

~~~

 

Abby wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, not really. She just happened to be in the hallway when she overheard Anya thanking the chief of hospital security for giving her time off. She wondered briefly if something was wrong but then suddenly, Anya emerged from the security office in a rush. Abby tried to look causal as she hastily moved to lean against the wall by the door. “Must be one hot date?” she asked, trying for a coy smile, that she was sure looked just as guilty as it did sly.

Anya caught her eyes, and Abby noticed they were sparkling with mischief as Anya replied, “Oh, Yeah! She’s about your height, trim but not too thin, great abs though, and this beautiful, long brown hair… Goes by the name of Lexa.” Abby couldn’t stop herself, leaning in bit by bit as Anya went on with her description, hoping to do a little vicarious living through the younger alpha (and not for the first time, either), but when Anya said Lexa’s name, Abby gulped in a breath and swallowed it hard, flushing slightly. Anya just laughed good-naturedly and continued, “Hey… you should come with us, maybe have some fun?”

Abby shook her head, cursing herself slightly for being so obtuse. She definitely hadn’t been fishing for an invitation, and know she was going to have to find some graceful way to get out of it. “Oh, I don’t know about that, hun. I think I’m a bit too old to be getting back on that horse,” Abby objected with only the briefest of sour looks, before she plastered on her smile again.

Obviously, Anya was unphased, and Abby rolled her eyes when Anya simply wiggled her eyebrows at the statement. “Come on, Doc. How many times have I told you, you’re not old… You’re experienced, there’s a difference,” Anya replied then, her hands coming to rest on her hips, giving Abby the impression that her friend felt like her word was final on the subject.

“Anya, Trust me… The fifteen or so years I have on you makes a big difference and besides I’m not what you would consider all that experienced either. It’s, uh, you know, it’s been a while,” Abby replied in a shy hush. Normally, she wouldn’t be this open with another alpha in public, but after she had been the one to show Anya and Lexa into Costia’s ICU room a year ago, Abby had a found a healthy level respect for Anya and had made every effort to befriend the stalwart, younger woman and eventually, her younger cousin, as well.

“Abby,” Anya began and when Abby looked up at her from where she had started to pick absently at a non-existent hang nail, her friend smiled as she said “First off, if you wanna get technical we’re only about 14 years apart. And really, you’ve got to get back out into the world… They have a word from women like you, you know.”

Abby choked out a broken laugh and barked, “Yeah, I can think of a few… Divorcee, or wait… what about, widow?”

Anya winced slightly, and for a second Abby felt bad. She wasn’t trying to make Anya uncomfortable; she was trying to get out of being uncomfortable herself, but then Anya piped up and Abby thought the skin of her face was going to burn off it grew so hot. “Abby… No, it’s called being a cougar. I think you could have any omega or beta you wanted. I mean, look at you. You work out… what four times week?”

Abby just shook her head and sighed, not wanting to answer, but she knew better than to hold out on Anya and replied simply, “Five.”

“And it shows, woman. Look, just trust me. Go out with Lexa and I Saturday night. You won’t regret it… and if you do, I’ll pay for your cab ride home,” Anya said almost pleadingly.

Abby could tell Anya was laying it on a little thick, but finally, after a few moments of quiet consideration, Abby conceded, “Fine, where are you going and when and I can meet you there.”

“Doesn’t work like that, Abby. I’ll pick you up about 6:30 and then we can all get ready together at Lexa’s,” Anya started as she began to turn away from Abby to get back to work. Abby drew in a breath to reply, but Anya cut her off, saying, “And don’t even think about canceling… I know where you live remember?” before turning on her heel and briskly walking away, leaving Abby just standing there, kind of dumbfounded at what had just occurred. ‘Did I really just agree to go out with Anya and Lexa? Oh god, what have I gotten myself in to?’ Deciding that there was no reason to worry about what would probably turn out to be a short night for her anyway, Abby simply buckled herself down into her shiftwork, managing to save three lives before she went home for the night.

As per her routine, she helped herself to a glass of red wine as she made her dinner for one, with just enough food to have leftovers for lunch the next day. The years of practice made it easy to get the portions just right. Once she finished, she refilled her wine glass, almost to the top this time and settled in on the couch. It was that moment, when she cracked the spine of a book she had already read twice before, that she realized just how right Anya had been. She had to get out and try to enjoy life again, because it certainly wasn’t going to come to her and if that meant she had to go out with two women who were considerably younger than her, then so be it.

Her phone chimed and she smiled when she clicked the home button and a text from Clarke, her daughter, popped up. Abby smiled because while their relationship was still a little bit strained, things between them were getting better and better all the time. When Abby and Jake, Clarke’s father, had first separated, Abby thought Clarke was never going to speak to her again. Abby and Jake stayed friends through the whole process though, and every time they were all together, Abby could tell that Clarke hoped they would get back together. The truth of the matter was that Abby had looked at Jake one day, and realized that she wasn’t everything to him anymore, and he wasn’t everything to her anymore either. They developed a routine, Clarke with Abby during the week and with Jake on the weekends, and that worked great for about six months, until Abby had to call Clarke out of school one day. Jake had been injured in an industrial accident and it didn’t look good. They had arrived just in time to watch him slip away. Clarke had been furious at the time, that Abby hadn’t been able to save Jake’s life, but as the years ticked by, almost six to be exact, Abby and Clarke had mended their relationship as best they could, even after so much drama and death.

Shaken by her memories, Abby flipped open Clarke’s text message and blinked in surprise. Apparently, she’d forgotten she was supposed to have dinner with Clarke on Saturday night, but as luck would have it, Clarke’s roommate was having a birthday, so Clarke needed to reschedule. Abby sighed with relief, glad she didn’t end up in a situation where she would have to cancel at the last minute, on either Clarke or Anya really, and typed a quick text back, simply saying ‘No problem.’ She thought for only a second before she quickly added, ‘What about a late brunch on Sunday to make it up?’

A few minutes later, Clarke’s response pinged out and Abby grinned as she read, ‘Sounds good! I can’t wait for pancakes and Mimosas!’

Abby smirked into her wine glass as she put her book away, actually looking forward to the night out as she headed off to get ready for bed.

 

~~~

 

They’d been at it for over an hour. Pros and cons; this bar or that club, the music and the drinks and the crowd, even the size of the place and the distance from their apartment were all up for discussion. By the time Clarke had suggested ‘Flow’ as a hopping place to go, Raven knew her friend was reaching. It was a breezeway bar in between two other clubs, but it had its own entrance from the street too, so most people just called it ‘Flow,’ when really the bar didn’t even have a name. Raven thought it was probably run by one of the two clubs on either side of it, but she didn’t know which one; she’d never thought to ask the few times she bought a drink from that bar. She huffed into the sink, still full of her dinner dishes, as she listened to Clarke tell Octavia about ‘Flow.’ When she heard the phrase ‘easy-going place,’ she knew she had to say something, calling out over her shoulder, “Yeah, that’s a hard _no_ to ‘Flow.’ It’s not even an actual place, Clarke. Nowhere in that alley is there a sign for ‘Flow.’ Plus, they have like three bar stools, and bottle beers only. Not the kind of place to have a birthday celebration.” Clarke’s silence after that was a welcome change to the non-stop talking Clarke had been doing for the last hour, and Raven used the opportunity to make a suggestion of her own, “W-what about that place on the corner of Mecha and Station? At least they have better music than ‘Exodus.”

Turning back to the dishes, Raven tried to breathe as she shifted her weight. Her hip was screaming at her to sit down, but she really needed to clean up after her spaghetti dinner too. Out of nowhere, Clarke bumped her side, half-pushing, half-dragging her out of the way, so Clarke could get to the sink. Raven was ready to protest, because she didn’t need help, she could do her own damn dishes, but Clarke’s finger shot out under her nose, pointing towards the stools set under the breakfast bar on the other side of the kitchen. Raven grumbled as she took a seat and watched Clarke finish cleaning up. Truthfully, she was grateful, because bending over at the sink always made her muscles ache on a regular day, and she was especially tired after her longer-than-normal shift at the shop. She knew Clarke knew that too, but that didn’t make her shame an easier to swallow. She absolutely hated feeling like a burden.

At least, Clarke didn’t seem to mind, continuing on like nothing had changed as she said, “Rae, do you remember what ‘Salvation’ was like last time we went?” Raven only offered a non-committal grunt in response, because really she didn’t remember, having probably blocked out the mediocre experience, but Clarke obviously had no problem reminding her, “It was a total meat market, like ten alphas to every omega. I don’t know about you, O, but I’d like to go somewhere not filled to the brim with knotheads.”

“Alright then, Clarke. Where do you think we should go, then?” Raven spat, not harshly, just quickly. The constant back and forth with no decisions being made was making her antsy. She glanced over at Octavia to see if she had any input, but her friend looked like she was a little overwhelmed.

Raven felt for Octavia. She knew that being the youngest of their little group was hard on her, but before she could think of anything to say, Clarke barked back, “I don’t know, ok? What about ‘The City of Light?’ That place that just opened downtown?”

Of the few things that Raven had heard about ‘The City of Light,’ none of it was good. She groaned as she turned back to Clarke, finding her friend now leaned up against the opposite side the breakfast bar. She could see Clarke was really proud of that suggestion, so Raven tried to be delicate as she said, “I heard that place is owned by Becca Cerra. You know, that woman who started that cult last year, the one claiming they could make their followers immortal or whatever. I’m not sure I wanna go somewhere like that and then get drunk. Doesn’t sound like the best idea, you know?”

Feeling Octavia getting antsy too, Raven glanced over to see her perched on the back of the couch, facing the kitchen, practically twitching in anticipation. The back and forth banter between them, was quick and sometimes sarcastic, but the night out they were planning was supposed to be for Octavia’s twenty-first birthday celebration, and Octavia had barely gotten a word in at all. Realizing that was kind of a shitty thing to do to her friend, Raven was about to turn to Octavia and ask what she wanted, when Clarke blurted out, “Fine! What about Polaris?”

There was the briefest of pauses as Raven thought about the strange club, but then Octavia finally broke in saying, “Hey! Where’s that? I’ve never heard of it.” Her tone was obviously curious, and Raven smiled when she turned and found Octavia moving to insert herself deeper into the conversation.

Raven couldn’t help but to chuckle a little as she explained, “Of course you haven’t kiddo, it’s 21 and up. Not to mention it’s kind of, uh, what would you call it, Clarke?”

When Octavia stuck her tongue out and waggled it childishly in response, Raven just stuck her fingers in her ears and waggled them right back. She could see Clarke out of the corner of her eye, pursing her lips together, choking down her laughter, obviously amused by their antics. Raven turned back to her, fingers still waggling, but Clarke kept fighting down the giggle fit that she was bordering on, to finally reply to her suggestion, “Polaris is— It’s kind of an underground sort of place, I guess. Ok, so, you know Lincoln, right? He works for Rae and your brother at the shop?” When Octavia blushed slightly and nodded, Raven wanted to laugh, but Clarke pushed on, adding, “Well, he works at Polaris a couple nights a week as a bouncer. He told us about it. I’ve been a couple times, and Rae’s been… what? like once?”

Raven nodded, but didn’t add anything, because that was another night that she didn’t remember a lot about. It wasn’t that she gotten so drunk she’d black it all out or anything; it was more like nothing remarkable had happened, and combined that with a little alcohol, and then poof, no more ‘Polaris’ memories. Clarke merely shook her head and continued though, and Raven tried to concentrate as she heard Clarke say, “It’s not, you know, a dance club really. I mean, there’s dancing but… I don’t know. The music is loud, and it’s got a good beat sometimes, but I can’t say I know any of the songs from anywhere else. The drinks are cheap, and strong too, so there’s that. Even if that one bartender is a little scary. She’s super jacked, like more than you O, and she has this serious case of resting bitch face, but she makes a mean margarita.” Raven quickly nodded again in agreement. The stiff, stoic bartender was probably the only thing she could remember clearly about Polaris. Well, that and the cheap drinks.

Not that she had a problem with alcohol or addiction; she figured she would know if she had a problem. Her time with her mother had made the warnings signs of addiction all too clear. The shaking hands, the short temper, and the withdrawal from world; no, Raven definitely didn’t have a problem with alcohol. It was just when she actually went out, she usually went all out. She was safe about it though, always making sure she knew where she was going and who with, and especially how she was getting home. She figured after a night out for O’s birthday, they’d definitely be taking a cab home. There was no way any of the three of them were going to be in any state to drive after a night like that. Realizing she was getting her cart before the horse though, she tried to steer the conversation towards making some kind of decision, fixing her eyes on a bewildered looking Octavia as she finally said, “Well, O, what do you think?”

 

~~~

 

Through most of the conversation, Octavia had been quietly considering her options. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was nervous about her birthday, mostly because she wanted it to be memorable, but only in a good way. She had had her fair share of shitty birthdays, like the year her foster family had forgotten her birthday all together or the year Bellamy, her brother, had nearly burned their apartment down trying to bake her a cake. That birthday had turned out alright though, mostly because they ended up getting a new stove out of the whole debacle. And, Clarke and Raven had tried to make her last birthday a big bash too, buying her a ticket to all-night rave, but her friends had failed to check the date against her class schedule. It turned out the party was the day before her Anatomy and Physiology I midterm. Needless to say, Octavia had spent the night of that birthday, studying alone in her room, trying to concentrate, when all she could really think about was how her friends were out celebrating her birthday without her. She had all but insisted they go, even though she couldn’t, but really, she had just been trying to keep brave face about the whole thing. She didn’t feel bad about them going without her, not anymore anyway, but at the time she had been utterly distraught. She had barely passed that midterm, but with a little extra credit she had at least managed to get a B+ for the course, so in hindsight, she guessed that birthday hadn’t been all bad either.

She suspected Clarke and Raven were hoping to make up for their mistakes the year before though, because they had double checked with her, well in advance, that she could go out on the night after her birthday, a Saturday, and she had done her duty about it too, making sure to schedule her classwork and her training around the date. It seemed like nothing was going to stop them from celebrating her birthday, all together this time. As her friends rambled on to each other about this club or that bar and their collective experiences, Octavia couldn’t bring herself to really listen. She continued to let her mind wander and wander, thinking about how she had always liked going to dance clubs, even though she couldn’t drink. Now that she could drink though, or at least after her official birthday on Friday, she found she was chomping at the bit to simply get drunk and dance her ass off. Something about a driving beat had always made her feet seem to move on their own; a fact that was very helpful when she needed to push herself a little at the end of a long workout. She’d switch to some hard, fast Drum and Bass beat and then finish her workout with gusto. The idea of letting the music just take her over, of letting herself go for a while, was beyond appealing.

Double majoring in Sports and Fitness Management, and Physical Therapy, Octavia always felt like staying in peak condition wasn’t just good for her, but sort of like a responsibility, both to herself and her future clients. She figured that if she was going to be someone’s physical trainer/therapist someday, she had better practice what she preached. She had a dedicated workout regime; organized cardio workouts and weight training every day, plus alternating kickboxing and yoga classes. It was all part of her training for her first pro-MMA fight too, which was only three short weeks after her birthday. Her full class schedule meant that when she did have free time though, she spent the extra minutes at the gym, or sparring, or practicing takedowns and submissions. The packed calendar had Octavia desperate for a night out, especially because she had taken the time off, specifically arranging with her trainers to have not just Saturday night to celebrate, but all-day Sunday off to properly recover as well. She had even gone so far as to take her Anatomy and Physiology II midterm early so she wouldn’t have to worry about it.

Her stream of consciousness suddenly broke, at the sound of her name, and Octavia couldn’t help herself as she barked out a strained, “What?”

She looked up to find Raven smirking widely at her. She had to fight to keep herself from rolling her eyes when Raven teased, “Jeez, O. You’re only just turning 21, you don’t wanna go and get frown lines this early in life… I just asked what you thought about Polaris. Your face was all scrunched.”

Octavia blushed bright red at being caught concentrating so hard on her own thoughts that she had totally tuned out her friends. Slightly nervous at what she had missed, but not wanting to make her friends repeat themselves, she shrugged as she said, “Uh… I guess Polaris is fine. I mean, turning twenty-one only happens once and I want to celebrate somewhere I’ll have no choice but to remember the experience, no matter how drunk I get.”

She smiled, relieved, when Clarke nodded in appreciation of her logic. She was ever so grateful when Clarke said with some finality, “Then it’s settled. Saturday night at Polaris… I won’t get out of work until six or seven, but we can pregame a little here and then share a cab, if you guys want.”

Octavia could barely hold in her excitement then, mostly because some decision had finally been made. “Sounds good. I can’t wait!” she half-shouted, bouncing so hard against the back of the couch that she slid right off the edge and onto the floor, bumping her hip against the arm of the couch on her way down. She rolled her eyes hard, as Raven and Clarke both gasped and hacked, trying to hold their laughter inside, but Octavia couldn’t not crack up about it as well, unable to do anything but accept the hilarity of falling on her ass. She laughed heartily as her friends both lost it too.

She laid there laughing for a long moment before Raven fell to the floor beside her, holding her sides as the laughter pealed from her throat. Raven’s breath was hot against her face as she choked out, “O… O, you’re not— not gonna stay down, are you?” Octavia gasped as Raven sucked in a gasping breath of her own and continued, “Cause I’ve got a lot of money riding on this fight!”

Octavia tried to collect herself a little and breathed out another startled “What?” as she made sense of what Raven had just said. She was still a little shocked, as she playfully slapped Raven’s shoulder, hoping her friend was kidding, because she was already feeling the pressure about her fight and the idea of Raven losing money on her was too much. She didn’t really think Raven would have actually bet money on her fight, but she wouldn’t put it past her friend either. Raven was known for a lot of things, but her ability to make rational, logical decisions was not one of them. Actually, Raven could be downright impulsive sometimes, and Octavia worried that Raven had actually bet on her. “Don’t tell you bet money on my first fight… Ugh! Talk about pressure!” she exclaimed, hoping her voice didn’t sound as strained as she felt. The sudden tension from Raven’s suggestion made her squirm uncomfortably, despite her attempts to stay calm.

She should have known better though, because she stepped right into Raven’s waiting trap, her friend simply smirking harder at her as she tried to get her breathing under control. Finally, the other shoe dropped, as Raven teased, “Of course, I didn’t… Like I’ve got money to waste.” Octavia, to her credit, didn’t deck Raven for her playful, but sort of hurtful, verbal jab. Instead she just huffed as she started to get up off the floor, choosing to push past the way Raven’s words stung.

 

~~~

 

Clarke stood and watched her friend’s boisterous exchange as she tried to catch her breath too. She snorted when Octavia seemed overwhelmed by the idea of Raven betting money on her upcoming bout. Raven had actually said something to her the other day to the effect of, ‘Man, I wish I had money to bet on O… She’s gonna rip that Ontari bitch apart in the first round.’ That put ideas in Clarke’s head, so she had asked around and had in fact placed a small bet on Octavia at 5-to-1 odds. It was only 50 dollars, so if she lost it wouldn’t really be a big deal; she’d never even have to tell Octavia about it. On the other hand though, if Octavia won, Clarke was definitely planning to take her friend out for a big celebratory dinner with the winnings. Suddenly, Clarke remembered, blurting aloud, “Shit! I’m supposed to have dinner with my mom Saturday night.”

A little lost in that thought and what it would mean, Clarke almost missed it when Octavia half turned toward her, helping Raven up out of the floor. “Shit is right… You think she’ll let you out of it? I only turn 21 once,” Octavia whined turning fully toward Clarke with a pout.

Curling her lips into a smirk, Clarke knew that Octavia only used that face when she really wanted something and immediately gave in, saying, “I’ll text her right now. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Before she could dwell on what she was about to do, she spun on her heel, walked across the living room and down the hallway towards her room. She perched on the edge of her bed as she grabbed her phone off the nightstand. It had been a kind of slow day at the art supply store that day, which meant she had absolutely burned through her phone battery, surfing for new artists to follow on social media. For the moment at least, she was tethered to the wall charger. It took a couple tries to get her text right, typing and deleting a couple times before she settled on, ‘Hey so, can we reschedule Saturday’s dinner? I totally forgot have this birthday thing I’m supposed to go to…’ It wasn’t a lie, even though it felt like one, because Octavia’s birthday wasn’t just _something_ she was supposed to go to, but she figured that it was enough information to not seem impersonal, without telling her mother everything. She hated that she had to deal in half-truths where her mother was concerned, but she knew how her mother got sometimes. Abby liked to be in control, liked to know what to expect and what was expected of her, and in turn, she liked to know what to expect from Clarke. Clarke was just trying to keep the status quo, trying to keep her mother in her life without having her mother all up in her life. It was a delicate balance really, and one that they didn’t always manage to maintain.

Shuffling back and up onto the bed, she let her back rest against the headboard as she waited. She knew her mother was probably done with work for the day and figured it wouldn’t be long before she got an answer. As she sat there, Clarke thought back to that time where she wouldn’t have been able to just send her mom a simple text to reschedule, because they wouldn’t’ve had plans to reschedule to begin with. The first few years after her father’s death had been hard on both of them and their relationship had suffered so much damage that it had taken another three years just to get back to where they were, and even their current relationship wasn’t the best. Clarke figured some of that had to do with her half-truths, but it was the only way she could think to sustain that balance they desperately needed in their relationship.

In the beginning, there were lots of things in Clarke’s life that her mom missed entirely, like her entire relationship with Finn and her moving in with Raven afterwards, among others, though those were a couple of the most significant. The few things that Clarke had told her mother during that period were all school related, like when she decided to switch majors, wanting to be an artist instead of a doctor. Suffice to say, Abby hadn’t taken that news well, and they fought over it, and Clarke hated herself for it sometimes, but she had used that fight as an excuse to not talk to Abby for over a year. When she did finally reach out to her mother, it was only because of a conversation she’d had with Raven that she had even thought about it calling her mother. It was one of those rare occasions that Raven had actually talked about her own mother, but Clarke could still remember what her friend had said, even almost three years later, ‘Sometimes, silence it the best way to let someone know they did something wrong, but sometimes it’s not, you know? I almost wish I knew where my mom was, so I could call her… and then hang up on her.’

That first phone call was one of the most awkward moments of Clarke’s life, but she got through it, they both did. Little things drew them back together after that, slowly rebuilding, until the previous Christmas Eve, Clarke and Abby got, sort of, accidentally, drunk; drinking one too many mimosas while they made pancakes together. Some of that morning was a little blurry but she could distinctly remember Abby saying how proud she thought Jake would be, that Clarke was following her dreams. What had really done it though, was when Abby had questioned who she was to stand in the way of Clarke’s dreams. They had cried together and eaten together and generally had a good time together for the first time since Clarke could even remember. After that, they tried to have a meal together every couple of weeks to try to keep in touch, but sometimes they both got busy and they’d reschedule, almost like they have a normal mother-daughter relationship… almost.

When Abby’s flat, ‘No problem,’ reply came through, Clarke sighed, assuming her mother was disappointed and probably a little hurt, but then the ‘little dot’ indicators popped up, and Clarke frowned at her phone, waiting for whatever scathing comment Abby was surely typing. Just a moment later though, Abby’s additional message popped up, ‘How about a late brunch on Sunday to make it up?’

Clarke raised an eyebrow at her mother’s tone. It was so casual, almost too casual, as if Abby was relieved by the change of plans. Clarke immediately wondered if her mother had made other plans as well, maybe even had a date, but she just as quickly pushed those thoughts aside, because who wants to think about their mother that way. Instead she decided to keep it light and still thinking back to that fated Christmas Eve she typed, ‘Sounds good! I can’t wait for pancakes and Mimosas!’ She figured the conversation was most likely done there, so she set her phone back on the nightstand and made her way back to the living room.

 

~~~

 

The second Clarke was out of the room, Raven seized the opportunity of having Octavia alone, quickly turning to her friend with a serious expression. She reached out and rested a hand on Octavia’s shoulder, as she said, “Look O, you know I was only joking just now, right? About the money to waste thing? I know you’re gonna be great… You’re training too hard not to win.”

Octavia shrugged a little, looking away from her, mumbling, “Yeah, but I bet Ontari’s training just as hard.”

Raven knew where this was heading. She needed to put a stop to this pity party, before Octavia let things go to her head. She knew her friend was under enormous pressure, but the look on her face told Raven there was more to it than that. Octavia needed to be reminded that even if this fight didn’t go well, that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be another one. She put her other hand on Octavia’s other shoulder and whispered, “You just remember the motto… Get knocked down, get back up.”

When Octavia nodded and meet her eyes, she repeated the words and delicately shrugged off Raven’s hands. Raven sighed slightly at the sort of dry way Octavia was acting, but then Octavia was looking her up and down as she said, “I’m getting some water, you want some?”

Raven shuffled a little side to side, realizing that their little romp in the floor had caused a painful twinge in her thigh to go along with the ache in her hip. She was going to have to be done for the day, and very soon. After only another moment or two, she finally settled on the couch as she gratefully replied, “Yeah, thanks.” She returned Octavia’s soft smile as her friend made her way to the fridge for the filtered water pitcher. Raven cocked her head to the side, stretching the muscles in her neck, bending at the waist to the same side to stretch her core as she rubbed her muscles just above her bad knee. Truthfully, she was glad that Octavia had helped her up out of the floor, because she wasn’t sure she could have gotten up on her own. The muscles in her thigh were always cramping and straining, caused by the constant overcompensation they had to perform to make up for the fact the lower half of her leg didn’t really function anymore. It had been an especially brutal day at work too. Nothing at work locked her muscles up like laying on her back on her creeper and working over her head. She really hated the constant pain too, because it was an ever-present reminder of how she ended up this way in the first place.

She remembered thinking what a beautiful day that day was: the bright sun and cloudless sky, the smell of the trees and the wildflowers, the wind whipping through her ponytail. She remembered how excited she was about it finally being warm enough for her to ride her bike to and from school instead of having to take the smelly, old bus. She kept to the path as she made her way home that day, and when she was almost through to the tree line, where she had expected to see an open field in front of her, instead she came face to face with none other than John Murphy, the bully to end all bullies from her school. He stood in the middle of the path, with his arms folded across his chest, and just stared Raven down, almost daring her to hit him. She’d swerved, but quickly realized it was too late when she felt the back-tire slide hard to the left. She vividly remembered the panic that rose in her chest when her pants-leg had gotten caught up the bike chain, dragging her along with the bike on its sideways slide. Time had seemed to stretch on forever in between the bike bouncing off the first tree and slamming to a stop against the second one.

Murphy had walked away with a sprained ankle and some bruising around his neck and face from where he clotheslined himself on a tree branch in his attempt to get the hell out of the way. Raven hadn’t been so lucky. The momentum had dragged her over the ground and through the trees a good twenty feet before she had finally jolted to a halt. Her left side had gotten scraped and banged up during the slide, but it was when the bike slammed into that second tree that the accident went from mostly minor cuts and a few bruises and to a serious, almost critical, situation. The bike had spun from the impact with the first tree and whipped her into the second one, hip first into the tree’s wide, solid base. She couldn’t really remember what it felt like, too overwhelmed by all her senses firing at once, but when all was said and done, the joint had been damaged almost beyond repair.

Three long surgeries later, she had been hopeful about regaining some of her lower leg’s function, but as it turned out, the nerve damage was extensive, too severe to not be permanent. Not being able to feel the lower half of her leg had left Raven with few options for treatment. She had always been a determined kid though and after almost 11 years, she had to admit she was finally starting to feel like she had accomplished things with her life, not necessarily her dreams, but she owned a business and paid taxes and made a living. The only thing she was missing, the only thing she really wanted, was someone to share it with. She’d never really had a family, her mother long gone, and her father even further gone, but there was still a longing for that connection with someone, not just friendship, but something deeper. She’d never really thought of herself as the type to need a mate, but that didn’t stop the lonely feelings from seeping into her conscious mind anyway.

 

~~~

 

Octavia paused, head halfway in, halfway out, of the fridge. The cool breeze drifting towards her definitely wasn’t fresh air, by any stretch of the imagination, but she breathed it in deep anyway. It calmed her a little, but she still couldn’t help feeling slightly upset anyway. Raven could really be insensitive sometimes, and the worst part was that usually Raven didn’t even realize she was doing it until after the fact. Octavia guessed Raven’s bluntness had something to do with her friend’s upbringing, or lack there of really, but Raven’s words tended to cut deep, especially when they were that sharp.

And, Raven’s words were still cutting deep, despite Octavia’s best efforts. All she could think about was how disappointing it was going to be when she lost to Ontari; how crushed she would feel, as she watched the referee lift Ontari’s hand in the air, not just declaring Ontari the winner, but also affirming that Octavia was the loser. She’d spent the last five years building up to what could turn out to be just another big let-down, and the weight of those thoughts was dragging her deeper and deeper into her worries.

‘What if Ontari doesn’t just beat me, what if she hurts me? Or, what if this fight is my only chance and I blow it by getting hurt before it even starts?’ Octavia thought, pulling away from the fridge, stumbling slightly into the counter as she stared into the still open refrigerator. She couldn’t help but imagine what a serious injury would really mean. She would lose the one sponsor she had if she was out of commission for very long, and it wasn’t that they paid her all that much for her online endorsements, but those royalty checks were pretty much her soul source of income. The idea of not having that money rolling in every month was scary enough, without her other worries, but then, ‘Hell, I might have to take time off from school if it’s really bad,’ popped into her head, and all at once, her worries consumed her. So much so, that she struggled just to keep breathing, nearly hyperventilating in the process. She could feel herself dimming and instinctually reached out, bracing herself against the counter to continue to keep herself upright. Her mind only spun further and further out as she struggled to catch her breath. MMA was important to her and had been for a long time. So important in fact, that she had sacrificed a lot just to stay with it, but her education had always been more important, because it wasn’t a just back-up plan; it wasn’t just something she was doing in case her MMA career didn’t pan out. She actually wanted to help people and train people someday. It was something she was good at, or at least she was good at going to school for it, and worrying that she’d have to quit chasing that dream over something like a broken collarbone or jaw, was almost too much.

When she’d first started training, she’d had this mentor, Indra Ashe, who had insisted that she learn more than just how to fight, but how to survive. Indra had none-too-gently encouraged her to choose a career adjacent to MMA, and to treat fighting as a hobby unless she somehow made it to the pro league. After several soul-searching months, Octavia had chosen physical therapy/training. She had always wanted to help people and she figured being a therapist and a trainer would mean that she could help people from both directions, not just with their pain, but with their health in general. She had thrived in her classes so far, well, all but that anatomy and physiology class. She’d done so well that she had even been short-listed for a big internship in the spring. It was something that she was incredibly excited about, setting her up in the locker room with the local professional soccer team, but even as she thought about that thrilling prospect, she couldn’t help the way her worries niggled their way into that too, turning what could be the biggest opportunity of her life into yet another disappointment.

Fearing that she was never going to get herself out of this loop she found herself in, Octavia was glad when the fridge door slammed closed in front of her. She looked up to find Clarke standing there, staring at her, wide eyed and curious. Clarke’s hand fell on top of her own and Octavia instantly felt calmer, stronger, like she could handle whatever came her way, as long as she had her friends there to help her. There was something about the simplicity of Clarke’s comfort that melted through her worries enough that Octavia was finally able to start catching her breath.

Clarke gave her hand a little squeeze, as she said, “You ok, O?” Octavia nodded, not sure she could trust herself to speak just yet. Clarke seemed to understand, and just stood there with her for a few moments before adding, “Take all the time you need. I’m gonna go take this water to Raven, ok?” Feeling relieved, Octavia nodded again, watching as Clarke made her way back into the living room, before settling on one of the kitchen stools to finish collecting herself.

 

~~~

 

Standing quietly in the hall entryway Clarke watched as pain, both physical and emotional, rolled over her friend’s face. She knew that sometimes life got very hard for Raven. Her injury and her status warring with her ego and her pride, sometimes turning her into a mess of shame and embarrassment. She didn’t want to see Raven suffer any more than she wanted to suffer herself, so she went right in and plopped down next to Raven on the couch, whispering as she settled in beside her friend, “What’s up, Rae?” When Raven didn’t reply, Clarke was worried that there might be something actually wrong, like something new was wrong, but from the stormy look in Raven’s eyes she could tell her friend was simply miles away at the moment. She scooted closer, hoping her proximity would help Raven come back from where ever she was, adding an even more hushed, “You wanna talk about it?” Raven still didn’t respond, and not knowing what else to say, Clarke just reached out and took one of Raven’s hands in her own. Raven didn’t pull away, so she took that as a good sign, and gripped at Raven’s hand a little tighter. She drew comforting circles over Raven’s knuckles with her thumb and waited until Octavia came back into the room a minute or two later.

It seemed Octavia immediately noticed Raven’s downtrodden expression too, and Clarke felt relieved when Octavia moved quickly to take up the seat on Raven’s other side. Clarke watched as Octavia took Raven’s other hand in her own and squeezed. She couldn’t fight back her smile as Raven flexed all their fingers together. Clarke laid her head over on Raven’s shoulder and listened as Octavia half-whispered, “Raven, listen to me, it’s ok. You are a strong and beautiful, and just an awesome person, so never…” Octavia paused, and Clarke glanced over just in time to see her gesturing towards the brace cradling Raven’s lower leg. Octavia only stopped for a second though, quickly picking right back up where she left off, “…never let this make you think otherwise. We all have things we wish we could change, but those are the same things that make us who we are, remember?” Clarke found herself kind of in awe of Insightful Octavia, but she guessed the younger omega had spent enough time around her and Raven to read them both like open books.

When Octavia’s free hand stretched out towards her, Clarke didn’t hesitate to take it, resting their joined hands in Raven’s lap and it seemed like Octavia wasn’t quite finished when a moment later she triumphantly said, “I mean, Look At Us! We are three strong, independent omegas, and nothing or no one is gonna stop us from doing whatever the hell we want, right?” Clarke nodded eagerly, sharing in some Octavia’s enthusiasm, even as her friend squeezed Raven’s knuckles tightly in her hand. Her eyebrows raised when Octavia brought their joined hands to her lips, but she didn’t say anything, not wanting to disrupt the moment of comfort.

Hearing Raven hiss as she drew in her next breath, Clarke quickly glanced up at her friend. She thought Raven looked a little flushed from Octavia’s words, or maybe it was from the kiss, but then Raven’s brow furrowed as she groaned out the breath, saying, “Uh… Wow, O. I didn’t know you had that in you… Also, could I have my hand back, maybe? I think I’m starting to lose feeling in my fingers.”

Clarke didn’t want to fight her laughter, so she didn’t, braying as she watched Octavia grimace and quickly release her grip, fast like the contact burned. Octavia scooped up Raven’s hand again a moment later though, smoothing her fingers over Raven’s as she placed their hands back in Raven’s lap. Clarke thought Octavia looked rather sheepish as she mumbled an apology into her own chest. Raven just smiled at their friend however, and said, “Yeah, O… Ontari’s definitely in trouble. Tiny, but fierce!”

Clarke nodded, giving Octavia’s fingers a squeeze of her own before she extracted her own fingers from that tight grip. She shook out the tingly feeling in her fingers as she joked, “Yeah, sometimes you don’t know your own strength there, kiddo.”

The petulant look on Octavia’s face was almost enough to make Clarke laugh all over again, but then Octavia groaned, so she held it in, at least as long as she could. “Ugh, can you guys stop calling me that? I’m not a kid anymore,” Octavia whined as she shuffled away from Clarke and Raven on the couch. Clarke thought about reaching out for her, seeing that Octavia’s ego was bruised but when Octavia grabbed her half full glass of water, and downed it in a couple of gulps, Clarke was sure Octavia was trying swallow her embarrassment, so she decided not to push it, not wanting to make her feel worse by making her look weak.

Clarke noticed that Raven seemed to have recovered from her bit of sulking though, as a wicked grin spread over Raven’s lips. She really wanted to reach out to Octavia then as Raven’s quipped, “That’s the thing, _Kiddo_ , you’ll always be younger than us… So, ipso facto, you’ll always be the kid here.”

“Well, Fine! Then maybe I need some new friends,” Octavia sulked herself, letting out a huff as she distanced herself a little more.

Clarke’s laughter finally escaped at that, because she could tell Octavia was hamming up how upset she was; there was no way Octavia meant what she just said, she was just being dramatic. Nearly choking as her giggles grew, Clarke coughed as she finally barked out, “Yeah-ha! That’s— Never. Gonna. Happen. O. You love us… w-way too much!”

Octavia huffed again, and Clarke couldn’t help but find her continued indignation even more hilarious, laughing then until there were a couple tears running down her face. Raven joined in at some point too, choking out, “Hey! Hey! I don’t see you denying it, _Kiddo_?”

Clarke managed to get control over herself right around the time Octavia finally gave in, reluctantly saying, “Yeah. Yeah. I guess… we’re like sisters from different misters.”

Clarke and Raven responded at almost the same time, half talking over each other, half in sync, “Sis-ters from different-ent misters?”

“What?” Octavia said, quickly, almost accusingly. Clarke could see she had had enough teasing, that Octavia was hoping she wasn’t about to be railed for her sort of shitty rhyme.

Thankfully, Raven appeared to pick up on it too, smiling at Octavia as she said, “Nothing O, you’re just too cute and we love it!”

 Sitting there, looking at the two of them smiling at each other, even after so much grief and worry, Clarke couldn’t hold in a smile of her own as she said, “Yeah, you know? I always wanted sisters.”


	2. The Unexpected Familiarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is... Chapter 2. There's a little Easter Egg in this one, a nod to one of my favorite fic's out there. Hope you enjoy it.

The rest of the week passed fairly quickly for Lexa. So, when Saturday afternoon came, and Anya texted her to say she’d still be there around seven, and to expect Abby in tow, Lexa nearly panicked. ‘Not only is she making me go out, but she’s bringing Abby here, too. Shit!’ Lexa thought as she scrambled to clean up a little bit. She could take Anya’s relentless teasing about her rather slovenly ways, but something about Abby coming over made her think twice about leaving her dirty laundry lying about all willy-nilly.

It’s not that Lexa disliked Abby either, but she did see the older alpha as more of a doctor and sponsor than as a friend. Despite herself though, Lexa actually had grown quite fond of the older woman. She had been such an absolute wreck when she had gone to claim Costia’s body from the hospital, but she still remembered when Abby had suggested Lexa join the grief counseling group that she attended every week, one that Abby had started herself years before to deal with her own guilt over her ex-husband’s death. Abby was almost timid about it at the time, but Lexa came to learn that Abby was more than just that shy façade. Abby was one of the strongest people she knew, able to share her problems and use her own experiences to help other people deal with their own issues. The main premise of the meetings was the most helpful part too, because in order to attend, each person had to agree to leave their presentation at the door, that no one would benefit if they couldn’t share their stories as just people, not as alphas or betas or omegas, all jockeying for position and status. The thing was, the people who usually attended were mostly so wracked with their own struggles that status never really came up.

Lexa had sporadically attended the meetings over the last year. She saw Abby was there every time she went, even though Lexa knew it had been a long time since Jake’s death. It was a sight to behold, Abby offering her story or her support to anyone who would listen, and only sometimes seeking that support herself. Seeing Abby open herself up so easily, despite her nature, gave Lexa the confidence boost she needed to unwind a little herself, and on the few occasions where she did share her grief with others, she was amazed to realize she felt some relief herself. It hadn’t taken Lexa long to realize the negation of presentation was why the meetings worked so well. The ability to share one’s thoughts and feelings without the risk of being judged based solely on something they themselves had no control over was a relief in and of itself, not to mention the relief that came from actually sharing their collective burdens. Another vibration of her phone broke her out of her thoughts, alerting her to yet another text from Anya, this one saying that she was just leaving work and would be there soon. Lexa sent back a quick, ‘K,’ before dashing off to shower, hoping to be finished before her cousin showed up to drag her out of the apartment.

All clean, Lexa stood in front of the mirror, harshly dragging a comb through her hair, praying that Anya would agree to braid her hair as well. She definitely didn’t have the time, or the patience, to properly blow it out. She figured she could always just tie it up in a bun if Anya refused, but she suspected Anya would jump at the chance to play with her hair, even if her cousin grumbled about it the whole time.

The sudden knock on her front door didn’t surprise her too much, as she knew who was doing the knocking, but she still felt a little nervous as she threw on her bathrobe and hustled to the door to let her cousin and their… friend in. Anya already had her spare key out and close to the lock when Lexa pulled the door open. Anya smirked at her and Lexa knew it was because she was not at all dressed for company, but she couldn’t worry about that, as Anya stepped in and wrapped her in a quick hug before stepping past her to allow Abby to enter behind her. Lexa smiled when Abby grinned at her and much to Lexa’s surprise she didn’t immediately tense up when Abby stepped right up to her and gave her a quick one-armed hug, too. “It’s good to see you, Lexa. I brought you a little liquid courage if you’re interested,” Abby said, holding up a six-pack of the beer, shaking it teasingly before handing it over.

Lexa glanced down at the bottles and then back to the older woman. Genuine smile on her face, she said, “Thanks, Abby. Will you join me?”

Lexa thought she saw Abby’s grin widen as she replied, “Sounds good! Where’s the bottle opener?” From behind her Lexa heard Anya clear her throat, and Abby’s eyes followed the sound. She glanced over her shoulder, seeing Anya leaning out from the kitchen, a huge grin on her face. Lexa was glad they both seemed happy to be doing this, even if she herself wasn’t thrilled by the idea. Abby brushed past her, moving towards Anya and the bottle opener, but Lexa just stood there for a second, gathering herself before she closed the front door, hoping she could at least try to have some fun tonight. When she finally arrived in the kitchen, Anya was already standing ready, no nonsense church key in hand.

When Anya offered it to her, Lexa took it and quickly popped open two bottles, handing one to Abby and keeping one for herself. Anya made a sort of dry sound in her throat and when Lexa looked at her, she found Anya smirking at her, her cousin’s eyebrows raised half way to her hair line. There was a little movement, right in her peripheral vision; Lexa glancing down quickly to catch it. Anya was gently shaking an unopened beer in her hand. It was only another second before she heard Anya say, “We should just take a cab tonight. I don’t wanna be the only one sober.”

Abby cleared her throat then, and Lexa glanced her way, catching a glimpse of the soft smile on Abby’s lips just before Abby said, “That’s really the only way to go. I’m not at work tonight and I’d like it to stay that way, if that’s alright with you both.” Lexa exchanged a look with Anya, but nether said anything. She knew what Abby was trying to say, but the implication didn’t stop Lexa from associating Abby’s soft smile with the same one the surgeon had given her just before opening Costia’s ICU room. For just a moment, Lexa thought there was no way this night out was going to go well, but then Abby whispered, “It’s ok, Lexa. I miss Jake, too, but Anya’s right… It’s time to get back on the horse. Costia wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life hiding away in this apartment, just like I know Jake wouldn’t want me to spend every night for the rest of my life drinking wine alone while I read a book I’ve already read before.”

It took a long moment, but Lexa finally managed to get control over herself, because ultimately, she knew Abby was right. It was time, probably a little past time in Abby’s case, and Lexa was as ready as she was ever going to be, to try and not just survive, but to try to live again. Her mind finally cleared, as she willed down the last of her swirling emotions. She didn’t want to say it, and she knew Abby didn’t need her to acknowledge it either, but she swallowed hard against the dryness in her throat and huskily said, “You’re right… Thanks, Abby.”

Shifting a little, Lexa tried to act casual as she grabbed the beer out of Anya’s hand and popped the top, quickly handing it back to her cousin. Anya immediately lifted the bottle in a toast, and Lexa, and then Abby, followed the gesture. Clinking their bottles together, Lexa struggled to think of something to say. It was her apartment after all, so she felt like she needed to play hostess at least a little, but when Anya’s voice called out beside her, she thought she might choke if she tried to speak just then. “The dead are gone, but the living are hungry,” was all her cousin said, but Lexa instantly grimaced at the morbid toast. It was one that she had heard many times before, as Gustus had probably said those words to her a dozen times or more and Anya had probably said them dozens more than that, but Abby’s soft gasp beside her told Lexa that Abby had no frame of reference for it. She glanced over quickly, finding Abby had gone stark white at the words, her hands trembling a little.

When she looked back over at Anya, she found a mirrored grimace on her cousin’s face and Lexa could see how much Anya regretted the words, but obviously there was no taking it back, so Lexa simply cleared her throat, trying to cover Abby’s discomfort. She sort of expected Anya to say something to clear the air, but Abby beat her to it, drawing Lexa’s eye again as she coolly said, “I agree. Although, I guess right now I’m just thirsty.” Abby tipped her bottle in the air at her companions, with raised eyebrows and then turned her bottle up to her lips and took a long, lasting gulp before pulling the bottle away. Anya followed suit, with Lexa following shortly after.

“We should start getting ready if we’re ever going to make it out tonight,” Anya finally said, after the moment had passed. Lexa groaned at the suggestion but started moving towards her spare bedroom as Anya literally shooed her in that direction, saying, “Come on, we’re going.”

Lexa reluctantly led them down the short hallway and into her extra bedroom. She had managed to motivate herself a little bit earlier in the day and had laid out a couple of outfits for herself to choose from and a couple things for Anya to try. They had always shared club clothes. It started as a necessity when they had first gotten into the scene, not having money for a lot of extra clothes. Those were the nights where all they had to wear were ratty old black tank tops or fishnet shirts, and jeans. Now they had dozens of different tops and pants to mix and match, even if sometimes they still ended up in an old fishnet top and jeans anyway. It took Lexa a moment to realize that even though those days seemed like not that long ago, she hadn’t gotten dressed up to go out anywhere in over a year. She tried not to think about it though, pushing the thoughts aside again as she and Anya looked through what she had laid out.

Lexa could feel Abby watching them from the door, awkwardly sipping her beer, as she and Anya squabbled for a minute over which outfit Lexa should wear. Begrudgingly, she finally relented to Anya’s resolve, finally grabbing up the outfit her cousin said would look the best and rushed out the door, heading to her bedroom to change.

 

~~~

 

Abby thought Anya would follow Lexa out, but then she turned and smirked at Abby as she said, “So… Let’s see if we can find something for you, huh?” Abby flushed at the sudden attention, but Anya simply turned to a tall wardrobe on the opposite wall and opened it. She watched as Anya rifled through it for a few moments before she turned back to Abby with a few things in her hands, saying, “Let’s see how this top looks with these pants.” When Abby didn’t move, just stared blankly at the offerings, unsure what to even say, Anya continued, “You can change in here and I’ll just go change in the living room. Ok?”

Gaping at Anya like a fish out of water, Abby couldn’t even make sense of Anya’s words, much less the outfit Anya was offering for her to put on. She thought she was ready to go, except for maybe wanting another beer before they left. She was wearing one of her favorite tops, a green V-necked tank top, that kind of folded across her chest and a pair of skinny jeans that were tight, but not uncomfortably so. She had some simple close-toed non-descript low black heels on her feet, going for sensible instead of sexy. She thought she looked good enough, and she felt more or less comfortable, especially considering she supposed her evening would be over before midnight. The outfit that Anya was trying to hand her was foreign to say the least. The top looked more like a safety harness than a shirt, all straps and buckles, with some barely opaque fabric beneath, and the bottoms were a pair of black skinny jeans that seemed more like they were a size two, instead of a six. When Abby realized Anya had laid her outfit on the bed and had her own clothes in her hands, obviously intent on leaving the room, Abby opened her mouth to ask, ‘Where are we going?’ but the words just wouldn’t come out. Her head was spinning, and she was nervous and flustered and if she was being honest with herself, she wasn’t even sure she could figure out how to put on a shirt like that anyway.

Abby glanced over at the outfit again before bringing her eyes back up to Anya. She almost laughed at the look she found there, Anya’s expression and voice both soft as she said, “Abby, take a breath. Where we’re going tonight, you’ll need the outfit to blend in. Trust me, I think that this top was made for you. Just… try it on?”

“Where-thefuck-areyoutakingme?” came spilling out of Abby’s mouth before she could stop it. She was getting overwhelmed, and Overwhelmed Abby was someone nobody wanted to meet. Anya laughed right in her face at that, and Abby couldn’t help her reaction; her embarrassment and confusion instantly combining with the sharp aggression she was feeling. Before she knew it, Anya was literally choking on her pheromones, hacking and coughing. Abby wanted to feel guilty for pushing back against her friend like that, but all her instincts were telling her to just snarl at Anya until the other alpha backed down.

It was only when Anya coughed out, “Damn, Abby. Down girl, jeez,” that Abby relaxed at all.  “It’s called Polaris. It’s-It’s a goth-industrial club,” Anya blurted out again, taking in a couple of breaths before she quickly added, “It’s like dark-techno. There’ll be music you’ll wanna dance to I’m sure… They do more popular scene stuff in the main room, and harder stuff and more… melodic stuff in the second building. And, if nothing else, there’s a great patio and I think it’s supposed to really nice tonight.”

Taking a deep breath in and exhaling it slowly, Abby fought to get her emotions in check. ‘It’s not Anya’s fault I don’t really want to be here,’ Abby thought as she breathed. Eventually regaining her composure, Abby tried to apologize but Anya held a hand to stop her. Abby was beyond grateful for her friend’s even-keeled nature, and decided to just push past the uncomfortable moment and ask, “Ok, so I take it you and Lexa have been going to this place for a while, then?” She gestured towards where she thought Lexa was elsewhere in the apartment and then swept her gaze over the clothes again.

Anya simply smiled and replied, “Yeah, I’ve been going there on and off as a patron since I was twenty-two. A few years ago, Titus, the owner, fired one of his best bartenders on a busy night. Apparently, there was some missing money. Anyway, Titus and I knew each other pretty well at that point, so I didn’t hesitate when he waved me over. He asked if I knew how to open a beer and when I said yes, he said, ‘you’re hired’ and pushed me behind the bar. He seemed really pissed, so I didn’t argue, and I needed the money, so I figured… Why not? He eventually hired more regular help, but I still moonlight there sometimes. Titus always adds me on if they’re doing a big event or having a band play or something like that.” Abby could tell there was something else Anya wanted to say, so she just stood quietly as her friend gathered herself enough to continue, “You should probably know that Lexa used to be the headlining DJ too, before… well, before Costia.”

Contemplating all the new information like a scientist, Abby picked apart Anya’s words, trying to figure out how to respond. Finally, she settled on, “Alright, and this outfit you’ve got picked out for me… That’s the kind of thing other people are going to be wearing too, right? Because I’ve got to say, this seems really out there for me. I-I’m not even sure which end is up on this thing.” As she talked she made her way to the bed and picked up the top, turning it over in her hands, examining it, and then demonstrating her confusion, hoping Anya would take pity on her and pick something simpler for her.

Anya stepped over to her and pulled the top from her grasp, and Abby watched intently as Anya turned the top upright and silently indicated how to slip it on, sliding her arms into the arm holes and moving them up to show Abby the neck hole. Anya seemed so delicate as she pulled her arms back and laid the top down on the bed. It looked as though Abby would be able to just step up to it and put her arms through, and Abby assumed that was the reason behind her efficient, yet careful movements. When Anya was done, Abby felt another small wave of nerves, but Anya was right there to reassure her, saying, “You’re gonna turn heads in this top and before you say anything about the pants, they’re stretch… they’ll fit.”

Abby doubted that, but before she could say anything else, Anya slipped past her and out of the room, closing the door behind her. With a sour look and a heavy sigh, Abby approached the clothes again. Throwing caution to the wind, she quickly slipped off her tank and jeans. Standing in her underwear and bra, she caught a glimpse of herself in the full-length mirror across the room and stood appraising herself for a moment. She did try to take the best care of her body, with vigorous work-outs and healthy food, well, most of the time anyway. She did look good, she couldn’t deny that, especially for a woman her age. She realized that if Anya was right about that, then maybe Abby would be able to relax enough to not hate the entire evening. She dutifully turned back to the task at hand, dressing in the borrowed clothes with only a few more moments of struggle with the strappy top. 

 

~~~

 

Anya made her way to the living room, her club clothes in her hand, and more than a little dread in her heart. She tried not to dwell on the idea that this ‘night out’ would end up being a terrible mistake, but every time she thought she was getting control over her imagination, a new scenario would pop up in her head; Lexa freaking out before they even got there, Abby freaking out again once they did, Anya, herself, freaking out because she couldn’t handle both of them freaking out at once. She shored herself up a bit on that last one though. It would take a lot to truly get under her skin, and she honestly didn’t think Lexa or Abby, or any combination of the two, could really be enough to push her over the edge. Well, at least, that’s what she hoped.

Despite her distraction, she did manage to get dressed pretty quickly, exchanging her simple t-shirt and jeans, for an alarmingly form-fitting black muscle tee and leather pants. The leather pants were kind of her thing, a trademark of sorts. Ever since she had bought that first pair, seven years before, she’d never really been comfortable in anything else. Sure, in the summer time, they were hot and even in winter they still didn’t breathe for shit, but the minor discomfort was just that, minor. Besides, she had it on very good authority, several authorities in fact, that they made her ass and thighs look incredible.  She perched on the edge of the couch to slip her motorcycle boots back on, completing the ensemble, before draining the last of her beer. She scooped up the long-sleeved open-mesh top she was thinking about throwing over the muscle tee and made her way towards the kitchen for another drink. She had just managed to get her second beer open before Lexa came padding down the hallway. Anya didn’t even look up as her cousin said, “All good?”

“Yeah, I think so. How much of that did you catch?” Anya asked quietly, knowing Lexa’s walls weren’t terribly thick.

Lexa just sighed, and Anya grimaced as she replied, “Admittedly, not much. Though, the smell coming from down the hall is pretty obvious.”

Nodding at that, Anya continued their conversation at barely a whisper, breathing out, “Yeah, I think I may have been a little insensitive.” She knew she had problems expressing herself sometimes, usually because she was too focused on not being angry to actually pay attention to what was happening around her, but Abby’s reaction to her laughter had really taken her off guard. She hadn’t meant to upset Abby, obviously, she hadn’t even meant to laugh at all, but that confused puppy look Abby had given her had been too much. She just couldn’t help it, she laughed; it was funny, at least she had thought so at the time.

However, despite not meaning too, she knew she had really upset Abby anyway though, which was why she hadn’t let Abby apologize, because the way she saw it, Abby had every right to be upset. It was no wonder Abby had snapped at her; Abby was already uncomfortable and on edge, and when she had dared to display even an iota of her feelings, Anya had laughed at her. It made Anya feel like a bad friend, like she should have read the overload warning signs in Abby’s scent and posture and known better than to push her luck, but Anya being Anya, she hadn’t even noticed the seething rage in Abby’s scent until she had been nearly choking on it. Lexa’s soft laugh broke her from her thoughts as her cousin said, “You? Insensitive? Surely, you jest.”

Anya looked up just in time to see Lexa feigning some great offense, her arm thrown across her chest and her head tilted back in mock shock. Anya just growled at Lexa’s antics and replied, “Hey… I’m working on it, ok?” Lexa just stared back at her, holding her pose and Anya growled a little more as she added, “So, I gave her that strappy top, you know the one, and she looked at me like I’d grown a second head when she saw it. I couldn’t help it, I laughed. She looked like she was ready to bolt for the door at any second.”

“Anya,” Lexa began, tone scolding and tight. “You could have picked something a little less revealing for her first time, you know?”

Sighing, Anya didn’t really want to admit that Lexa was probably right, but she couldn’t help defending the outfit, saying, “Yeah, but just you wait. I’m betting she looks great in it. And… once she realizes that, she’ll have her pick of anyone she wants at the club tonight.” Lexa looked like she wanted to argue, but Anya just jumped back in, trying to change the subject, “Anyway, what do you think about this mesh top? Yeah or Nay?”

The slack jawed expression Lex agave her then, told Anya she hadn’t really succeeded, but she at least delayed the inevitable enough for Lexa to say, “I don’t know unless I see it.”

Smiling, Anya sat her beer down on the counter and slipped the mesh on over her muscle tee. She pulled on it a little here and there, situating the arm pits of the top into the right places, and then tugging on the bottom hem to get the fit right all the way around. When she felt satisfied, she looked back up, only to find a sour expression on Lexa’s face. She knew that look and immediately started pulling the top back off. Lexa laughed when she got an earring caught up in the weave, but Anya kept her cool, working the earring back through the material, before fishing it the rest of the way over her head. She was suddenly grateful Lexa hadn’t approved; she hadn’t even thought of that. At least she had embarrassed herself in front of her cousin instead whoever might be sleeping in her bed that night.

“Thanks,” she muttered when Lexa reached out of the shirt, and that’s when Anya finally noticed the multiple pairs of boots in Lexa’ hands. She figured the counter kept her from seeing them before, but when she quickly realized that they weren’t anywhere near Lexa’s size, she said, “Those boots are for Abby, right?” Lexa nodded, opening her mouth to say something, but Anya didn’t let her, her hand flying up to stop her as her mind immediately jumped back to their original topic. There was only one way Anya’s salty disposition from earlier could be excused, and that was if Abby did look as good as she thought she would. Anya quickly decided that Lexa just needed to see that top on Abby for herself, and quickly added, “Well then, why don’t you go see that strappy top for yourself. I bet she looks better in that top than either one of us ever did.” Anya smirked when Lexa didn’t reply, and simply turned away in a bit of a huff.

Alone once again in the kitchen, Anya leaned up against the counter to wait, sipping at her beer, trying to imagine a stress-free evening; trying to will it to happen. She’d never been one for those kinds of thoughts, never been one to believe in the power of positive thinking, but really, she figured it couldn’t hurt. She imagined a night of drinking and dancing with no drama, but just the thought made her laugh. She knew there was no way there wouldn’t be drama. Titus was sure to corner Lexa at some point, pressuring her into taking her old headliner spot back, and Lexa would be none-too-happy about being coerced. Her cousin never did like being told what to do, but Anya couldn’t help hoping that a miracle would happen. And, Abby, Anya was most worried about Abby. She seemed so, almost fragile, even though Anya knew without a doubt that Abby was one of the strongest alphas she’d ever met. Abby had this fierce sense of compassion, a trait that the intensity of which, was only matched by her will. Abby was usually so put together and coiffed though, that Anya was worried that the initial culture shock she would experience at Polaris would simply be too much for her friend, that Abby would take one look around and then insist on going home, without even really giving it a chance. She took some comfort in the fact that they would have home court advantage, as it were. She and Lexa had gotten to know people there over the years, built a little home away from home, and Anya was sure they knew most everyone that mattered. Well, with Lexa’s year-long absence, Anya was sure she knew most everyone, and while the regulars would know Abby didn’t belong, would probably be able to see it the moment they walked in, Anya knew that no one would mess with her. The new kids, the weekends-only folks, wouldn’t know Abby from Eve, so at least Abby’s inexperience wouldn’t be a hinderance there either. Most of those people would assume Abby had been in the scene for a lot longer than just one night, especially with Abby’s apparent age and the outfit Anya had picked out for her.

‘The clothes make the alpha,’ popped into her head, something she had heard her father say many times. She hadn’t ever really put much stock into it, that is, until one day, years after the first time she’d heard it; the day she had shown up at the recruitment office to join the National Guard, standing out in her mind as just such an occasion. The beta who had been behind her in line, she thought Whitman was his name, had been dressed to the nines; full suit and tie, with a vest and suspenders even. Anya had thought he looked uncomfortable and uptight at the time, but when she had heard the way Commander Shumway had addressed him, like Whitman was important, more important than Anya anyway, she had felt slighted, thinking that it was just because Whitman and Shumway were both betas and it was some sort of solidarity thing, but then she had caught Shumway giving her this look on the way out, a look that spoke volumes. It became quite obvious then that it wasn’t just a sex thing; it was the way she had presented herself on the whole.

Whitman was more important than her, because he had put in the effort, had tried to look important, and that effort had made all the difference. Her ratty jeans and cut off t-shirt hadn’t been very impressive, and ever since that day she had tried to put more thought into how she dressed. That was actually how she had gotten her job at the hospital in the first place. Despite her erroneous criminal record, she had applied for the job, knowing that that little blip on her radar could be what disqualified her from working security in the biggest hospital in the city, just like it had with the police academy, but when she had gotten dressed for her interview that morning, she’d simply slid on her best power outfit, a sleek black number, and carried on like nothing was wrong.

When Cara Byrne had asked her about her background check and her ‘criminal’ past, Anya had taken it in stride, mollifying herself against the accusation by simply saying that she had gotten in the car with someone she thought she could trust, and that they weren’t friends anymore, since her arrest. Byrne had been a hard ass even then too, stringing Anya along, compelling her to take a drug test before offering her the job, and then having Anya take one every 30 days for the first year of her employment. ‘Just to be sure,’ Byrne had said, but Anya knew better. She had readily agreed to the stipulation nonetheless, because if Byrne wanted to waste time and money paying her to take the test, and paying for the test itself, who was Anya to argue. Especially when Anya knew that the test would never find any drugs in her system in the first place. She had often wondered if the same confidence trick would work at the police academy but fearing that rejection had always kept her from trying it. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy her job at the hospital, but that she just hadn’t quite given up on that dream yet, to follow her father into service of her community, to help people, to lead others by that example. The hospital job was Union organized, with decent pay and better benefits; working in a hospital definitely had some perks, but Anya still couldn’t help feeling like something was missing from her life.

 

~~~

 

Abby had to hand it to Anya; the size-too-small pants did fit. They were _skin_ tight, but they gave enough that she figured they wouldn’t be too uncomfortable, and they did look good with the top. Even the top itself fit her well. It hid things as much as it revealed them; the lighter fabric strung in between the straps crisscrossing over her abs and her shoulders in such a way to be alluring, but the heavier fabric of the straps themselves covering in all the right places to almost appear modest. She appraised herself in the full-length mirror again and was a little shocked at how dramatically the clothes changed her look. Before she had been dressed sensibly, clothes made for Sunday afternoon grocery shopping as much as they were for clubbing, but the outfit she had changed into made her feel like she might actually be going out shopping for something, or someone, else.

Trying to break herself away from those thoughts and where they would lead though, Abby quickly turned her back to the mirror and began folding her tank top and jeans, only for a knock at the door to interrupt her. She huffed as she said, “I’m decent,” adding a hushed, “sort of,” under her breath as the door opened, revealing Lexa in the doorway. Abby was a little taken aback by the change in the way Lexa presented herself for a night out too. Her friend was standing tall, back straight and shoulders broad, in only a wide cut, black leather vest and a pair of low-slung, tight black jeans. The cut of the vest showed off both her chiseled collarbones and her tattooed upper arms, as well as showing subtle hints of her abs and hipbones when she moved her arms and shoulders the right ways. Abby was almost so distracted by the all the skin on display to notice Lexa was holding a pair of half-calf, low heeled boots in one hand and a pair of taller heeled boots in the other.

When Lexa spoke, Abby’s eyes immediately fixed on her face. “Wow, Abby. Anya was right about that shirt. It looks like it was absolutely made for you,” Lexa complimented, and Abby could hear the honesty, the sincerity, clear as day.

Looking down at herself a little shyly, Abby sighed, because she knew Lexa was right and hearing her say it, brought those thoughts she had been trying to push aside right back to the surface. She was actually starting to look forward to their night out, because even though she didn’t want to admit it, she was lonely. But, when she thought about being lonely, she would inevitably remember why she felt that way, and she almost couldn’t bare to think about that anymore. It had been a long time since Jake had died and it had been an even longer since Abby had actually felt happy with him, but for some reason she still couldn’t get past his death. She guessed the thing that haunted her the most was the look on Clarke’s face when he had finally passed, lost and adrift, like she would never feel good again. She wondered what Clarke would think about her looking for someone else to fill the void Jake had left in her life, both when they had gotten divorced and then when he had died. She hadn’t even been on a date since then, and she couldn’t help feeling a little lost and adrift herself. Thankfully, Lexa’s clearing throat brought her out of her thoughts before they could truly run away with her, and she forced gaze back up, trying to offer her most genuine smile as she finally replied, “Yeah, thanks. I… I had no idea I could pull off something like this.”

“Well, it definitely works on you, so much that I may have to just give it to you. It’s never looked that good on me or Anya,” Lexa said then, and Abby could tell she was laying it on a little thick, but Abby wasn’t going to complain. It felt too good, feeling young and attractive again. She didn’t have long to think about that as Lexa quickly asked, “So, what size shoe do you wear?”

“Seven or seven and a half, just depends,” Abby replied, automatically steering her attention back to the boots in Lexa’s hands.

“Cool. Try these first,” Lexa said as she handed Abby the lower heeled pair. Abby waited as Lexa turned to the dresser and pulled out a pair of padded socks and handed those over as well.

Perching on the edge of the bed Abby moved to slip them on. She could feel Lexa watching her and when Abby’s hands shook ever so slightly from the pressure of Lexa’s gaze, she sighed. A moment later, Lexa quietly asked, “Are you ok? Anya said you kinda freaked a little.”

Abby didn’t look up as she replied, “Yeah, I guess I am. I just— I haven’t been out like this in a long time, and with what Anya tells me, Polaris isn’t exactly the typical kind of club, so I guess I just don’t know what to expect and that makes me a little crazed. I’m kinda used to knowing what to expect. My life is pretty boring, you know… Work, Eat, Sleep, Repeat.”

Lexa smiled at Abby’s words, and Abby knew instantly she was being obvious, that she would probably be nervous no matter where they were going. Thankfully, Lexa simply shrugged as she said, “Well, then it sounds like you need to get out as much as I do. How about you just stick close to me or Anya until you get the feel for the place, huh?”

Abby nodded as she finished lacing up the boots and stood. She could handle that, being a sidekick for a little while. Slightly more confident having a strategy, she returned Lexa’s smile easily as she said, “Ok… but, how about another beer before we go?”

Lexa just chuckled a little and stepped to the side, gesturing for Abby to lead the way.

 

~~~

 

The longer Anya was alone in the kitchen, just lingering there, waiting, the more uncomfortable she became. She decided to fill the time as best she could though, falling back on surfing social media to eat up the extra space in her head. It was a habit she had fought tooth and nail to avoid, but eventually she had caved, creating a couple of accounts on different platforms. Most of the time she just used it to spy on her high school and college classmates, but after the second video about penguins stealing rocks from each other, she closed the app she had chosen. Her fingertip hovered over her ‘favorite’ dating app for a second, but she quickly realized that would just be another fruitless exercise too, so she opted to check Polaris’ page on another social media app instead.

The club’s page wasn’t very active, but there were a few people posting about their plans to attend, or in some cases, to not attend, the club that night; a few regulars apologizing for the absences or saying that they would be there, but that they wouldn’t be there until late into the evening. One post drew her attention though, a twenty-first birthday celebration announcement posted by a face she recognized. The blonde who made the post, Monet_Maker was the girl’s username, wasn’t really that familiar, Anya didn’t know her real name or anything, but she was sure she had seen her at Polaris at least a few times. She was certain that they’d never spoken, beyond that one time when Anya had made the blonde a drink. Anya thought she seemed nice enough though; at least Monet_Maker had left a tip; a damn decent one too, not just the change from her last dollar.

Clicking over to the blonde’s page, she immediately noticed that her profile photo thumbnail was only the center of a larger picture; the blonde and two other girls, all smiling at the camera. The one friend Anya felt like she had seen before too, but the other one, she was all new to Anya. She was gorgeous, that was sure, the bright shining eyes and straight white teeth only adding to her appeal. Anya thought she wouldn’t mind getting to know that face better, at least in a naked and sweaty sort of way, but when she thought about the post that had brought her to Monet_Maker’s page, she quickly realized this girl, this gorgeous girl, was probably the friend who was turning twenty-one. That was a bit of a turn off, but Anya figured she’d have to wait and see if the opportunity to _know_ this girl better even presented itself, before she decided if the age thing would be a big deal.

Hearing a rustling coming from down the hall, Anya quickly closed the app and stowed her phone away in her back pocket, trying to put those eyes out of her mind. She turned to the fridge, figuring more beer was necessary, and when Abby thanked her with a cheerful grin, she returned the smile, glad that Abby was feeling better. Anya handed a beer off to Lexa too, earning her a nice ‘thank you’ from her cousin too. They stood there for a second, all sipping their beers, before Anya finally said, “Ok, hair and make-up, and then we can go?”

Not long after that, the three of them settled in at the kitchen table. Anya sighed at first when Lexa asked her to do her hair too, but reluctantly agreed, deciding to do Lexa’s first because it would take longer than doing her own. She stood behind her cousin and began pulling Lexa’s hair back into smaller braids around her face, ones that would eventually lace together in a larger braid on the back of her head. The undergrowth she left to flow freely over Lexa’s back and shoulders. As expected though, the intricate look did take a while to complete, especially with Anya stopping every few minutes to sip from her beer. They made chit-chat about this and that as Anya worked, but the whole time she could feel Abby’s eyes watching her. She glanced over now and then when it was appropriate for their conversation, but every time she caught Abby’s eyes they seemed full of awe. She smiled when she caught Abby leaning forward to get a closer look at the intricate pattern she was weaving. When she switched places with Lexa, for Lexa to do her hair, Anya gave her cousin a pointed look, jerking her head over at Abby when the older alpha was looking down into her beer. Lexa’s eyes flashed with a little mischief and Anya knew her point had been taken.

Lexa started in on her hair and the gentle pressure was both familiar and comforting. It had been a really long time since Lexa had done this for her. Braiding each other’s hair had started out as a joke; well, more like a threat, really. They had been bored one Saturday night, 17-year-old Anya ‘babysitting’ 13-year-old Lexa yet again, while Gustus was at work. Lexa had been a little shit all night, and when she had whined, for probably the twentieth time, about how restless she was, Anya, frustrated to no end, had finally snapped, “Well, what do you wanna do? Braid each other’s hair? Or, maybe we’d be better off just having a knock-down, drag-out pillow fight instead?!” She hadn’t meant to be so harsh, but when Lexa had cowered away from her, Anya realized her alpha had layered in on top of her words, taking Lexa to task over something that wasn’t even really her fault.

Anya had felt bad at the time, but as a young alpha she was just too proud to admit to anything then, so they spent the next few days gravitating around each other’s bubbles of silence. Finally, Anya had sucked it up and apologized. After an agonizingly long silence, young Lexa had finally smiled coyly and said, “Alright, I’ll forgive you, but on one condition… You have to actually braid my hair.” Lexa had hesitated for just a second before she had added, “I guess we could skip the pillow fight though. You know Gus doesn’t like it when he comes home and one of us is bloody.”

Despite herself, Anya couldn’t help but to laugh and not a second later Lexa had joined her. The tension between them had finally broken, and it had flooded out until they were both breathless from the stress of it. When they had finally gotten control over themselves again, Anya had smiled as she said, “Don’t I know it kid, but when I’m done I want you to do my hair, too.” After that, they had braided each other’s hair whenever they got bored. It was nice, both braiding and being braided, because it gave each of them something. The giver had something to do with their hands for a while and the receiver got a cool look for school the next day. It was a win-win.

Even as her mind drifted, Anya could tell what style Lexa had chosen for her, just by the way Lexa twisted and rolled each section of the French braid she had going. When Lexa had first tried this style, it had made Anya’s head look sort of bumpy and lumpy, but as Lexa had practiced, the spirals began to easily braid into each other, and now, Anya had to admit the end effect was sleek and efficient, while still being decorative. Anya smirked at Abby when Lexa was finished, because Lexa immediately patted the chair Anya had just vacated, saying, “Ok, doc, your turn. Sit.”

Abby choked on her own breath for a second and Anya simply laughed and moved over to the older woman and leaned down to ask, “A fish-tail?”

The look of confusion of Abby’s face almost made Anya snicker again, but she could tell Abby was teetering on the edge of something, a longing in her eyes that Anya couldn’t quite place, but there was obviously something holding her back. Anya smiled when Lexa answered instead, “Perfect.”

Before Abby could object, she leaned in a little further and whispered, “Don’t worry, Abby. Just remember, I was right about the shirt and the pants.” When Abby eventually nodded, Anya descended on her and immediately began pulling her hair back over her shoulder and quickly folded Abby’s hair over itself into to a quick, but still solid fish-tail braid. When Anya was done she tied it off and brushed it over the front of Abby’s shoulder, so the back laid right.

Looking over at Lexa, Anya got an approving nod, before Lexa moved with purpose down the hall towards her bedroom. She smiled when she was Abby check her watch, knowing that Abby was still nervous, but she hoped the doctor would just bear with them a little bit longer.  A minute or two later, Lexa returned with some makeup in her hands and a light-up cosmetic mirror. Anya and Lexa took turns using the mirror to apply eyeliner, mascara, and some subtle lipliner. Again, Anya could feel Abby watching them, but then as if some dam had broken, Abby quickly moved to the kitchen to retrieve her purse and her own makeup supply. With only a little encouragement from Anya, and Lexa alike, Abby styled her eyeliner and mascara similarly to theirs. When it came time for eyeshadow Anya whole-heartedly approved when Abby choose a soft pinkish brown, the shade warming her eyes to an earthy brown. She wasn’t at all surprised when Lexa choose to cover only the lower half of her lids with a deep, hunter green, not one for subtlety. Anya choose a similar color to Abby’s, if only a little darker. She drew the shadow further over onto her temple though, drawing a line out across to pronounce her sharper features.

When they moved back into the kitchen, for that third beer each, Anya and Abby chatted some more while Lexa ducked away to call for the cab. By the time they actually climbed into said cab though, the amount of nervous energy rolling off both Abby and Lexa made Anya want to cringe a little. Resolved and unshaken though, Anya simply gave the cabbie Polaris’ address and after only a moment of hesitation on the driver’s part, probably to set his GPS, the three alphas were off.

 

~~~

 

When Abby took the front seat in the cab, Lexa was a little surprised, but she figured maybe Abby was one of those people that got motion sick if they sat in the back. Now, whether that was because of some equilibrium problem or because of Abby’s barely-controlled control issues, Lexa would probably never know, but if their conversation from the bedroom earlier had taught Lexa anything about Abby, it was that Abby liked to know what was ahead of her. It was likely Abby had sat up front, just to be able to watch out for the driver, or maybe, she was sitting up there to watch the driver instead.  Although, it also wasn’t a stretch to think that maybe Abby thought that if she sat up front, she and Anya would have more room in the back. Lexa certainly didn’t mind the extra room, mostly because she figured she would have been the one sitting in the middle if they were all crammed in the back of the cab. Of the three of them, she was probably the most compact, not necessarily shorter than Abby, but Abby’s hips and shoulders were definitely wider than her own. Anya was all long arms and legs, and while Lexa knew Anya was fit and flexible, she also knew Anya couldn’t bend her bones just to make herself fit better.

The ride was mostly silent, expect for the dulcet soft jazz that echoed through the cab’s speakers. She thought it was probably a specific choice on the part of the driver, likely chosen because it wasn’t fast or slow, not obscene or obnoxious, just something simple to fill the silence. It wasn’t her usual bump and thump sort of stuff, but the melodies were good, and the deep saxophones sounds were undeniably pleasing. For the first few minutes of the ride, it actually managed to distract her from her anxiety about the rest of the evening. The three beers she had had back at her apartment were helping with that too, but eventually her tipsy mind wandered beyond the cabbie’s music choices and Abby’s obvious control issues.

What she was most worried about, the thing that was sure to make her skin crawl, were the questioning looks she was sure to get. People in the scene knew her, or at least knew of her, and she was sure there would be people whispering about her behind her back all night. Some would be wondering where she had been for the last year, and those that knew, would be watching her to see if she was going to have a breakdown or cause a scene or something. She had to admit she was wondering that herself, but before she could really get herself worked up about it, she felt Anya’s hand catch her wrist. She immediately turned her attention to her cousin, and found Anya silently pleading with her. She felt Anya’s fingers squeeze around her wrist, even as Anya tipped her head towards the front seat. When she followed Anya’s nod, Lexa realized she could see Abby’s reflection fairly clearly in the side window. The tight line of Abby’s lips, focused in a grimace, was the first thing she noticed. Then, she took in the intense look in Abby’s eyes and she knew immediately what Anya was asking of her.

Message received, she deliberately tried to calm herself down, hoping what Anya was hoping, that if she calmed herself, Abby would relax a little as well. It seemed to work too, and within a few minutes she noticed Abby’s posture softening and her grimace easing into more neutral expression. Abby’s eyes stayed just as intense though, and for a moment Lexa got lost in that penetrating, yet almost vacant, stare. She was so fixed on Abby that she barely noticed Anya’s hand leave her wrist, but when she realized Anya had withdrawn it, she glanced over at Anya to find her smiling, nodding her head along with the music. She smiled too, figuring if she could just keep her wits about her and not let her mind get the best of her, maybe she didn’t need to worry about whether she might have a breakdown or not either.

Seeing Polaris for the first time, well the first time in three hundred and eighty-four days, was a bit of shock still though. She didn’t think just seeing it down the street would have such an effect on her, but the closer they got, the more anxious she felt. There wasn’t much she could do about it either, as her pulse began to pound under her skin. A rush of memories flashed through her mind, from her first night at the club, to her last; of walking into Polaris for the first time all those years ago and instantly feeling like she’d found a second home, to the day she had forced herself out of the house, bleary eyed from crying, still in the throes of losing Costia, to tell Titus that she was quitting, that she wasn’t sure she could even go on living. At the time she really wasn’t sure if there was even reason to try to live without Costia.

Time had passed however, and things had changed. She no longer felt the physical pain of losing Costia. It was only the memory of her presence that still haunted Lexa, and she’d taken a full year to try to put Costia’s death behind her. Hiding in her studio all the time, riding the wave of depression to obsession and back again, obviously wasn’t working. She still had moments where she felt like Costia was in the room with her too, especially first thing in the morning, but as her sleepiness wore off so did the feeling. Awake or asleep, Lexa missed her nonetheless; still wished she could talk to her, and kiss her, and hold her, and love her, to the point where, she couldn’t remember a single dream she’d had in the last year that hadn’t had Costia in it. She remembered what Abby had said earlier though, and she knew without a doubt, that Costia wouldn’t want her to spend the rest of her life living in her dreams. Costia wouldn’t want her to spend every day, trapped in her own thoughts, surrounded by the same four walls. Costia would want Lexa to mourn and move on, not die right along with her.

Anya’s hand caught her wrist again, breaking her out of her thoughts, and she glanced that way again, only for Anya to start physically pulling her across the seat. She hadn’t even realized they had arrived, but when she looked past Anya and saw the doors to Polaris, her eyes grew wide, suddenly not ready, for any of it. Anya didn’t give her much of a choice though, yanking on her wrist until she slid across the seat and got out. Standing there, staring at those double doors, was like a bullet to the chest, tearing her breath away from her, but as always, life still went on around her; she lived on.

 

~~~

 

It was already six-thirty, when Clarke got home from work and she had expected Octavia to be excited, but when Octavia greeted her at the door, jumping up and down nearly shouting, “You’re home, you’re home. Now! Go get ready!”

Clarke simply laughed at her friend’s enthusiasm and tried to push her way inside as she said, “O, I can’t get ready if I can’t get to my room to change.”

It took a minute, but Clarke managed to remind herself that she had been this excited about a birthday before and smiled as Octavia kept bouncing until she was behind her, Octavia not so subtly nudging her a couple times on her way around. Clarke just shook her head as she lugged her work bag and her oversized purse into the apartment, Octavia steadily repeating, “Get ready, get ready, get ready!” behind her.

Nearly tripping across the threshold, Clarke felt a little relieved when Raven peeked her head around the corner from the kitchen, but her hope of having Raven’s help to get in the door soured immediately when her friend grumbled and said, “Ugh, thank god you’re here. She’s been like this for hours.”

Octavia’s hand flashed into Clarke vision, an arm coming over her shoulder, Octavia’s middle finger standing straight out at Raven as Octavia barked, “Hey! Fuck you, Rae. I’m excited and I’m nervous and I’ve been waiting all day! Forgive me if I’m a little antsy?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Raven replied even as she was already ducking back into the kitchen. Clarke figured she was already making the pre-game drinks that they’d talked about; a whiskey on rocks for Raven, a margarita for Octavia, and a mojito for Clarke. With Octavia still bouncing on her toes behind her, Clarke padded into the living room and immediately dumped her purse and her work bag on the floor behind the couch, Raven following them into the room a moment or two later with their drinks. She moved to grab her mojito from Raven, but Octavia beat her to it, snatching up the margarita in Raven’s hand, quickly slurping at the salt on the rim before she sucked on the straw until half the glass was emptied. Clarke just smiled when she saw Raven’s eyes widen, but she couldn’t hold in her barking laughter as Raven said, “You might wanna pace yourself a little, O. There’s still a long way to go ‘til closing time.”

Taking her mojito from Raven with a grateful nod, Clarke sighed as she sipped at it. Raven sure could make a mean drink. She shook her head when Octavia rudely stick her tongue out at both of them before turning on her heel to make her way into the kitchen, probably already searching for a refill. Raven gave her a grumpy look as she pulled Clarke down on the couch beside her. Clarke could feel how tired Raven was, her friend immediately resting her head on her shoulder. Raven shuddered against her side and whined, “All day, Clarke. All day… I mean, her mood swings… Whew, let me tell you. I have whiplash, I’m sure of it.”

She chuckled at that, figuring Raven was exaggerating and smiled coyly as she replied, “Oh come on Rae, I’m sure you remember what it’s like being young. You’re only what, like, 40?”

Raven scoffed loudly and clutched her hand to her chest, and for a second Clarke thought she was going to have to catch Raven as she swayed slightly. All too quickly though, Raven fixed her with a grimace and said, “You wound me. You know very well how sensitive I am about my age. Do you have any idea how weird it is for me to be going out with one of my best friends for her 21st birthday? I feel really old, dude.”

Clarke just shook her head and moved a hand over Raven’s on her chest. “Why do you think I give you such a hard time about it?” she replied, gently squeezing Raven’s hand before moving her hand back into her own lap. She could tell there was more to what Raven was feeling than what she was saying, that’s how it always was with Raven, so she thought for a moment before continuing, “You’re only 27, Rae. Hell, that’s only four years older than me! I mean, sure we’re strong independent omegas, but that doesn’t mean we don’t all feel the ticking of the clock, but we just— we have so much time in front of us that I feel like we’d be doing ourselves a huge disservice by continuing to dwell on the past.” She saw it when Raven got momentarily lost in thought, and the sudden ache Clarke herself was feeling reflected right back at her in Raven’s eyes.

In an instant, Clarke knew what Raven was thinking about. She was thinking about Finn, about the boy-man that had broken both their hearts. She was thinking about every other shitty thing that had ever happened to either of them, Clarke’s dad dying, Raven’s mom’s abandonment, and countless other little things all snowballing together. She reached across the distance between them and took Raven’s hand again. It seemed to inspire just the right amount of confidence in her friend too, because a moment later Raven proudly declared, “You’re right. We’re gonna go out tonight and nothing is gonna stop us from rocking O’s 21st birthday, right?”

Clarke simply squeezed her fingers through Raven’s, and replied, “Absolutely. But, I do need to shower, though… You think you can keep her occupied for just a little while longer?”

Raven’s faux distress at the thought made Clarke laugh, but Raven confirmed, “I think I can keep her from burning the building down… at least while we’re in it.”

Laughing as she got up off the couch, Clarke said, “Maybe start with keeping her from getting so drunk she can’t leave the house.” Raven’s answering laugh trailed off behind her as she strode down the hall and into her room to grab some clothes before heading to the bathroom. Quickly looking through her closet, she wasn’t really sure what to wear. She had seen some really intricate outfits at Polaris the couple of times she had been there and though she didn’t have anything that extravagant, she’d found a black sundress with white polka-dots and a wide black stretch belt at the thrift store the week before and decided that would probably be her best bet. It hugged her hips just right and flared out from there to come down to just above her knees and the belt bunched the fabric in such a way to pull the scoop neckline down to show more of her cleavage. She laid the dress and belt out on the bed, along with her best set of matching underwear, because she figured you never know when someone else might be seeing them. She grabbed her towel and bathrobe and crossed the hall to their shared bathroom (yes, three omegas in one bathroom sounds daunting, but the toilet is in a separate alcove with its own door and the vanity was big for only having one sink, so they make it work).

Clarke tried not to let her mind wander too far while she was in the shower, because God only knew how long it would be before Octavia or Raven were beating on the door yelling at her to ‘hurry up,’ but her omega wasn’t really helping her out with that. It started as a little tingle, just below the skin, first in her arms and legs, but before she knew her whole body was tingling. Suddenly the shower spray felt too warm, too hot even, and when Clarke looked down at her chest her skin was a fiery pink. She turned the water down a little and tried to focus on getting clean, washing and conditioning her hair, scrubbing her body. She managed to get as far as washing her body before she realized her skin was getting more and more sensitive the further down her hands moved.

Of course, she knew what was happening. Her hormones had been off all day. She had snapped at no less than three different customers and one of her co-workers, too. She knew what was coming. Itchy skin, burning sensations, sensitivity to touch, raging hormones; Clarke’s heat was coming. She could tell it wasn’t full on though, at least not yet, the sensations weren’t strong enough. This was just a ‘power surge,’ or at least that’s what her mother always called them. If she was counting correctly, Clarke figured she had at least a few more days before she either needed to start taking her suppressants or find someone she trusted to ‘help’ her through it. For now, though, she’d just have to grin and bear it and hope the ‘power surge’ passed as quickly as it came on.

Finally, showered and clean and almost calm, Clarke pulled her bathrobe on and set about drying her hair as best she could with her towel. She wasn’t going to even think about blow drying it. Octavia would certainly hear the whoosh of the dryer and immediately be there whining about how she was taking too long, so she settled for getting it mostly dry with her towel before spraying some mousse out into her hand. She scrunched the product through her hair and repeated the process as she watched in the mirror, making sure to get at least a little of the product all through the roots and working it down towards the tips. Her hair was naturally a little wavy, and the product added a little much needed body. Once she was satisfied with the way it looked, she slipped back across the hall to finish getting ready.

 

~~~

 

Meanwhile, Raven and Octavia squabbled in the kitchen about this and that, bumping each other as they reached for drink ingredients. Raven’s drink of choice was a whiskey rocks, so all she needed was ice and liquor, but because Octavia was more of a tequila girl, it took Raven twice as long to make her own drink, as she had to avoid Octavia bustling around her, grabbing the ice, and then the tequila and the triple sec, and then the grenadine. That was the point where Octavia lost her on margaritas, because if Raven was going to drink one, it certainly wouldn’t be one of the gross cherry ones Octavia always made. The cherry flavor from the grenadine tasted alright, but it made the color all wrong. She teased Octavia about it, for probably the thousandth time, saying, “I don’t know how you drink that stuff, O. It looks like somebody puked up Christmas.”

From there, she wasn’t really sure how, or if her comment had even started it, but by the time Clarke came back into the room, Octavia had her in a headlock and was teasing her mercilessly about it. Thankfully, Clarke was there to rescue her, quickly saying, “Rae, why don’t you go get dressed and then we can all have another drink before we call for a cab.”

Growling as Octavia ‘noogied’ her, Raven barely managed to push Octavia off before serious damage to her ego could be done. She shot Clarke a relieved smile as Octavia finally released her, and she shuffled out of the room towards her own bedroom. After a few minutes rifling through her closet and chest of drawers, she had pulled out a dark grey baseball shirt with even darker grey sleeves, and a pair of black cargo pants. The shirt was fitted at least, hugging close to her curvy waist and stretching over her breasts, but she chose the pants solely on the basis that she could wear her brace underneath, hiding the device from the casual observer. Once she pulled her clothes on and checked herself in the full-length mirror on the back of her door though, she knew instantly that her friends wouldn’t approve. They would say things like, ‘Damn, Rae, why don’t you just where something a little baggier?’ or, ‘Yeah, I think I’ve got an oversized hoodie you can throw on top of all that.’ She was definitely not in the mood to deal with any more teasing, so she trudged back over to her dresser and pulled out a tighter pair of black jeans instead.

Perching on the edge of her bed, she shimmied out of her pants and then unstrapped the brace, before pulling the jeans up her bare legs. They hugged her hips and thighs well enough to allow movement without being too constricting, which meant at least they were going to be as comfortable as the cargo pants, but she still grumbled as she slipped her brace on over the top, sure she was going to be getting looks over it all night. The titanium was brushed, so it wasn’t as shiny as it could be, but she knew it still picked up light well enough to attract attention, especially the multi-colored lights and lasers of a dance club. It was like wearing a neon flashing sign, showcasing her disability in all its glory. She knew sometimes that was probably a blessing in disguise, steering the assholes of the world away from her before they even had a chance to speak to her, but she couldn’t help feeling like the brace scared off some potentially good ones too. Sighing, she checked herself in the mirror again, and finding she was as satisfied as she could be with her appearance, she perched on the edge of the bed again to slip into her vintage Converse high-tops. They weren’t fancy, but they were the most comfortable shoes she owned. She figured she had already sacrificed her comfort with the jeans, and if either Clarke or Octavia said anything to her about the shoes, she’d be hard pressed not to let them have it, birthday celebration or not.

When she finally emerged from her room, the sound of loud barking laughter filtered down the hall from the kitchen. She followed the echo and found Clarke blushing furiously, her face hidden half behind her hand. Octavia was holding on to the counter, supporting herself as she tried to catch her breath. Raven always hated missing a good joke, not wanting to feel left out, so she quickly asked, “Hey? What’d I miss?”

Octavia shuddered as her breath caught in her throat and for a second Raven was worried Octavia might actually hyperventilate, that is, until Octavia hoarsely barked out, “Oh! You know… Just caught Clarke here… Looking at me like she— like she wanted to taste me!” Clarke playfully smacked at Octavia’s shoulder, but Raven wasn’t surprised when Octavia dodged it easily; she was too quick for her own good sometimes. Raven followed Octavia with her eyes, smiling as Octavia just danced away, playfully adding, “Oh Clarke, Clarke… You really need to get laid.”

Clarke huffed and stomped her feet and Raven couldn’t help chuckling at the two of them as she crossed into the kitchen to pour herself another tumbler of whiskey. She figured if she wasn’t driving to the club or back, she was going to get enough in her to get truly loose. As she dropped more ice into her glass, she heard Clarke try to defend herself as she said, “It’s not even like that. I mean, have you seen your thighs in those leggings?”

Catching Octavia’s snarky laugh behind her, Raven jumped in, adding flippantly, “Well, Clarke’s got you there… You do look hot as fuck right now.” She turned from the fridge just as Octavia turned towards her as well, and for just a moment, she let her eyes rake over her friend’s figure, taking in the spaghetti strapped tank top and snake-skin print leggings, both so tight they looked painted on. As Octavia moved, every detail of her well-maintained muscles easily translated through the fabrics. The three-inch heels made her legs look much longer than they actually were too, and Raven had to admit she did look quite edible.

When Raven finally brought her eyes back up to meet Octavia’s, she teasingly licked her lips, knowing it would probably make Octavia groan in embarrassment. She was right too, as Octavia visibly flushed, groaning and grumbling, “Ugh! God, not you too!”

Clarke finally rejoined the conversation and Raven laughed as she heard Clarke say, “See O, it’s not just me. You’re gonna break somebody’s freaking heart tonight.”

Raven could see the feelings warring inside her friend; embarrassment, and nervousness, and excitement all swirling inside Octavia at once. She thought about saying something else to encourage that excitement, but then eventually, Octavia just huffed and said, “Ok, ok, enough… Are you guys finally ready?”

Clarke nodded, but Raven held up her finger to Octavia before she swept her hair up into a high, tight ponytail, quickly tying it off with a hair tie from her wrist. Raven just managed to catch Octavia rolling her eyes, but the smile on Octavia’s face told her that she didn’t mind the teasing too much. She glanced over to find Clarke already pulling out her phone to call the cab company. Raven sipped at her whiskey and sighed, thankful for the single moment of quiet in her whole day. When Clarke turned back around and said, “Ok, we’ve got about 30 minutes before the cab gets here. You want one more, O?” Raven smiled into her own half-empty glass as Clarke made her way into the kitchen and started making their next round.

 

~~~

 

Twenty-five minutes later, Octavia watched as Clarke looked down at her watch for the third time in the last ten minutes. Clarke had ushered them all downstairs, far earlier than they really needed to, but Octavia just gulped down the last of her drink and went along with her, knowing that Clarke would get flustered if they weren’t waiting on the sidewalk for the cab when it got there. She was about to goad Clarke about it, but Raven seemed to notice too, and bumped Octavia’s shoulder as she said, “Stop being the mom friend, Clarke. It’ll get here, when it gets here.”

Octavia dodged quickly as Clarke swatted at Raven, Clarke blurting out, “Hey! I am not a mom friend, OK?! I just… I like to know what time it is, that’s all.”

Raven laughed out loud beside her as Octavia smirked mischievously and said, “If only it was just that, Clarke. You’re always keeping time or ordering the cab or taking care of people.” She paused for a second, hoping to add some dramatic effect before she continued, “Maybe you’re right… maybe mom friend is the wrong word.” She pursed her lips into a thin line as she thought for a moment, finally adding, “I think party mom is better.”

Clarke huffed and repeated her defensive tone as she barked out, “Hey! I’m not a party mom either! I can be fun! I know how to be fun…”

Clapping Raven on the back as her friend choked on her own breath, Octavia watched as Raven’s body swayed back and forth as her laughter continued. After another moment or two, Octavia thought Raven was just going to keep laughing and let it go, but then her friend simply dragged her under the bus with her, saying, “It’s good you’re a party mom though, ‘cause this one is gonna need one tonight. What was that you said earlier, O? That you wanted to get ‘faced?”

Octavia wanted to be indignant, but she knew there was no denying it. She at least had the decency to blush at the comment, before turning to them both and saying, “Yeah… I’m sorry in advance for tonight guys. I love you both, you know that, right?”

Octavia’s eyes immediately narrowed as Clarke and Raven both smiled at her, those sheepish, deviant smiles. She knew what was coming, but she wasn’t going to deny her friends the chance to tease her. It was part of who they were to each other, friends so close that even the most relentless teasing was acceptable. They descended on her from both sides then, pulling her into a tight group hug. “Yeah _kiddo_ , we know,” Octavia heard Raven say, and she tried to squirm away, but Raven and Clarke’s arms just held her tighter as they both whispered, “We love you, too.”

Their moment together was rudely interrupted by a honking horn though, quickly followed by a shouted, “Hey! Did you guys order a cab?”

They all laughed together as they each jumped in surprise. They hurried to climb over each other to get into the car. Once they settled into the back, Clarke took charge, giving the driver the address. Octavia had to fight down a chuckle, as did Raven, but when the driver did actually laugh, all bets were off. Obviously frustrated, Clarke asked loudly, “What?”

Octavia could see the cabbie smirking in the rear-view mirror. She knew there was no way he was laughing about what she and Raven were laughing about, but when he opened his mouth to reply, Octavia quickly got control over herself, definitely wanting to hear what the stranger had to say, but he seemed to change his mind though, and simply replied, “It’s nothing… just a popular destination tonight, that’s all.”

Intrigued and already on edge, Octavia wanted more information, wanted to know what he was going to say before he stopped himself, but she didn’t push it though. The last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable by intruding; he was a stranger after all, and she had no business prying. She took a deep breath in, pushing down her curiosity, only to take in a strong whiff of what smelled like coconut oil; or maybe it was sunscreen. She had expected the cab to smell vaguely gross, like every other one she’d ever been in, but the sweet and potent scent was sort of intoxicating. She didn’t say anything about it though, not wanting to sound like a weirdo. She simply tried to push away how the smell made her feel, oddly safe and content. She sat back against the door and half-listened as Clarke and Raven chatted on. It got harder and harder to concentrate on the words flying back and forth, until eventually Raven called her out, “O, what is up with you?”

“Do you guys not smell that? It— It’s like, like sunscreen, maybe. You know, kinda like coconut, only not,” Octavia blurted, before she could even think to stop herself. She was sure her friends were going to think she was crazy, but the scent was starting to overwhelm her good sense, even as she sniffed at the air again, just wanting more.

Clarke blinked at her then and inhaled deeply through her nose, obviously trying to put a name to what she was smelling. After a moment, she said, “No, not sunscreen. I smell… I don’t know. It’s like leather, maybe, but it’s sweet, sort of clean… like fresh mountain air.”

Octavia wanted to ask, ‘What the hell does a city girl like you know about fresh mountain air, Clarke?’ but she knew before she even said the words how rude that would sound, so instead she turned her attention to Raven and said, “What about you, Rae?”

“Well, I think you’re both crazy. It smells like a cab in here, maybe _a little_ cleaner than the last one I was in, but that’s all…” Raven replied sort of uneasily, Octavia watching as Raven glanced up to catch the driver’s eyes in the mirror.

The cabbie said some similarly uneasy reply, but Octavia didn’t hear him, her attention to fixed on Raven to care. She could tell her friend was hiding something and wondered for a moment what she wasn’t saying, but quickly enough Clarke asked Raven something off topic and they started chatting again, only this time about Polaris. Octavia couldn’t help herself but to get caught up in their conversation this time, beyond eager. She just wanted to be there already. She knew it was supposed to only be a short ride, but by the time they actually got there she thought she was going to explode with how excited she was. When they peeled out of the cab, Octavia was raring to go. Polaris seemed busy but not crowded enough to have a line, but Octavia could feel the bass pulsing, even with the club’s thick brick walls between her and the source. A huge grin on her face, Octavia led the way, as they hustled up to the front door, pulling Clarke and Raven along behind her as she went. Eventually, after showing IDs and some awkward bumbling over it being her birthday, Octavia, Clarke and Raven walked into the first night of the rest of their lives, only they just didn’t know it at the time.

 

~~~

 

Even though the cab ride was short, Abby still felt like she needed a good stretch after holding herself so still for so long; just another reminder that she wasn’t as young as she used to be. While Anya paid for the cab, she stretched her arms and back. Lexa laughed softly when she yawned, too. “What?” Abby asked, coyly, “I am old, remember?”

Anya turned back from the cab just then, with a grumble, and simply looped her arm through Abby’s and forcibly turned her towards the club. At first, Abby didn’t know what to think. The building wasn’t very tall; two stories, maybe two and a half if you included the housing for the heating unit on top. It did take up most of the block though, only sharing with a couple of other businesses, and those were long past closed, the two storefronts dark and empty. The exterior of Polaris was painted with swirling night colors, dark blues and soft whites and pale grays. The ‘Starry Night’ effect was neat, but then Lexa stepped out of the way and Abby could see the exposed insides of the big, half-round, front doors. They were painted with all the colors of the sun, making the entrance stand out in stark contrast. The patterns were sort of hypnotic, swirling into each other at the edges of the doors. As they got closer, Abby could hear the music, muffled but still thumping, carrying through the open doors, like tendrils trying to snare passers-by and pull them in. There was no velvet rope, or gaggle of young people gathered trying to get in, only a few people milling about, and a couple people leaned up against the side of the building, smoking and chatting.

As Abby looked all around, one set of people stood out; a thin, bald man talking with another hairier, bulkier man. They were close enough Abby could just make what the bald man was saying. “Look, Ryder, you’re going to be out here on your own for a while, alright? Gina’s got the flu, and if I can’t get someone else in, we may be in for a long night,” the bald man said, obvious anxious, gesturing animatedly with his hands. He glanced around quickly and when he spotted Abby and her group, he suddenly broke away from the one he had called Ryder and headed straight for them.

Abby had to hustle to keep up as Anya quickened her steps to meet him as well. Abby watched as Anya stuck out her hand to shake his, asking, “Titus, how’s it going?” The toothy, eerie smile on Titus’ lips and Anya’s slight grimace made Abby think Anya regretted asking.

For a moment it was like they were having a battle of wills, but Abby could tell that, Titus, as a beta, was no match for Anya’s alpha, but then Titus smirked wider as Anya continued to scowl at him, and Abby thought maybe this Titus was stronger than he looked. Anya huffed out a snorted breath when Titus finally said, “Come on, Anya… Gina called out twenty minutes ago. Lincoln’s filling in right now, but later I’m going need him doing his actual job. Can you just do me this one favor?”

Abby’s eyes flashed back to Anya as she scoffed at his ‘one favor’ suggestion and raised an eyebrow at him. Titus glanced away from Anya for a second and Abby followed the movement. She saw it, the moment he finally realized Lexa and Abby were standing there beside Anya. There was instant reverence that took over his demeanor when his eyes fixed on Lexa. “Heda, welcome. It is good to see you again,” Titus said, and for a moment Abby was confused, not really understanding what he had called Lexa, but she wasn’t about to interrupt an obviously already-tense reunion.

And it was noticeable, how uncomfortable Lexa was, her body stiffening as she politely replied, “You too, Titus. It has been quite a while.”

“Perhaps you’ll indulge me a little this evening and look over the new system. I think you’ll approve,” Titus replied, and Abby immediately wondered if he was always this formal with Lexa. Their dichotomy was strange, but before Abby could begin to figure it out, the moment had passed.

“Of course, Anya hasn’t shut up about me coming out here, for at least a few weeks now,” Lexa replied, turning from Titus to face her cousin with a grimace. Abby saw something pass between them, regret or guilt maybe, but the look was gone as quickly as it had arrived.

Turning back to Titus at the sound of his light chuckle, Abby saw his wide grin falter as he admitted, “That’ll be my fault. I may have asked Anya about you coming back a few times. This place just doesn’t seem the same without you.”

Abby just stood there as another long uncomfortable moment passed; this time between Lexa and Titus, until Titus cleared his throat uneasily. Something dark flashed over Lexa’s face before she finally replied “I’d be happy to take a look at your improvements, but how about a drink first? I am here to have _fun_ tonight, not to work, Titus.”

“Of course,” Titus said as he turned back to Anya. When Abby focused on her as well, she noticed her friend’s scowl towards Titus had only deepened. He chanced a quick glance back at Lexa, before moving on to Abby herself. Abby could see the wheels turning, as a sick little smirk crossed his lips and he turned back to Anya as he said, “You and Heda and your friend here, drink for free tonight if you’ll fill in until I can get someone else to come in. What do you say?”

Anya sighed and finally agreed, “Fine, but only if I can start drinking behind the bar. I’m not wasting my night.”

Titus grinned like the cat who’d just eaten the canary and nodded vigorously, as he opened the door for the three of them to enter. Anya and Lexa led the way and as Abby passed him in the doorway, Titus stuck out his hand, formally introducing himself. He seemed genuine as he said, “Welcome to Polaris, the light in the dark. My name is Titus Eldrid, and you are?”

Abby smiled as she accepted his handshake, saying, “Pleased to meet you, Titus. I’m Abby Griffin.” He returned her smile as he ushered her inside. The music swelled, and the lights flashed, and there were strange people all crowded around, and for a just second, Abby thought she was going to panic. At her first breath, her nostrils flared, and her eyes widened immediately, the smell inside the club was completely overwhelming. She had caught a whiff or two of pheromones swirling around outside, before she had even gotten close to the outer doors, but once she crossed the threshold, it was as if the air had suddenly become clouded with it, an almost literal haze of unmated alpha and omega scents. Her instincts were screaming at her to push out with her own pheromones, but Abby forced herself to focus on the dimly light interior, trying to use her critical eye and logical brain to mitigate what her other senses were telling her.

To the left of the door was a small alcove with a standard sized pool table crammed in it. It was close enough to one wall that someone had cut a few of the pool cues in half so that the sticks didn’t hit the wall when someone tried to shoot from that side of the table. Next to that was a raised area of the floor that looked sort of like a stage, with lights and speakers set up around it. There was a video screen along the back of the space, seemingly random images flashing up on the screen, somewhat in time with the music. In the far corner of the stage, there was another raised platform, full walls on two sides and a half wall across the front. A set of stairs along the far wall led up to what was obviously the DJ booth.

A long haired, greasy looking guy was bent over something Abby couldn’t quite see, bobbing his head to the music, headphones covering one ear. She noticed he wasn’t bobbing to the same beat as all the other people around her, and a moment later the beat of the music crashed against a new, opposing beat in a screeching halt sort of way. Abby instantly noticed Lexa’s breath hitch in her chest, as if the crashing beats had literally caused her heart to stop for a second. Movement caught Abby’s eye, and she immediately glanced towards the crowd of people spread out on the dance floor in front of the stage. The patrons who had been dancing seemed to lose their momentum, and many of them left the dance floor obviously in search of some sort of hydration; either alcoholic or otherwise, they didn’t seem to care.

Titus all but pushed past her to nudge Lexa’s shoulder. Abby could barely hear him as he half-shouted into Lexa’s ear, “See what I mean? He’s… know it. Attendance is down… two years ago. It goes much lower and I may have… to keep breaking even. I’m not trying to guilt... the thing Polaris needs.”

Abby wasn’t sure what he was talking about really, having missed half of what he had said, but then Lexa shook her head and stepped around him, heading towards the bar set against the wall, opposite the stage. Anya split off from the group too moving around toward the other end of the bar. Abby glanced between the two before quickly following Lexa, eyes still widened, but at least her heart had stopped pounding in her ears. Despite her insistent instincts, she was actually starting to get used to the overwhelming scent. She saw Titus wave off at the bar and after a moment, the taller of the two male bartenders in front of Abby turned away. He quickly moved to wash his hands, nodding and smiling at Anya as she passed by him. Answering smile still on her face, Anya turned her attention to Abby then, and yelled over the music, “Hey! I’m sorry about this. Hopefully I won’t be stuck back here all night.”

Abby glanced around, not nervously, but cautiously. She had to admit this place wasn’t at all what she had been expecting when she had first agreed to a night out with Anya and Lexa. They seemed so normal to her, but this club definitely was far from normal. The other patrons, well, Abby didn’t know what to think about them. Motley crew didn’t begin to describe them. There were hard-looking biker types, all leather and spikes and buckles, and pixie-looking, little girls with brightly colored dreads, wearing next to nothing, and every other kind of person in between. The music was like nothing she had ever heard before either. Dark and heavy with a pounding bass beat, but the lyrics made each song feel more like a ballad than the fast beat suggested. Realizing she had probably taken way too long to respond, Abby just shook her head and replied, “Don’t worry about it, Anya. We can hang out some later.”

Anya smiled at Abby’s attempt to sound like she wasn’t a nervous wreck and asked, “Well, until then what can I get you?”

Abby shrugged slightly, not sure if she could handle anything stronger than a beer and quickly said, “I should probably stick with what I know. Craft beer?”

Anya turned towards one of the coolers, rummaged around for a second and then turned back to her holding up two different bottles. Abby pointed to the one she recognized, and Anya popped the top and handed it to her. Lexa and Titus had turned in on each other a little, and were talking amongst themselves, making Abby feel a little uncomfortable until Anya broke in, “Cuz! What do you want?”

Lexa barely looked away from Titus, glancing over at Abby’s beer as she said, “Same.” She pointed at Abby’s beer to emphasize what she meant before turning to listen to Titus again. Abby watched them for another moment before Anya returned with two more bottles of the amber liquid. Abby barely noticed the way Anya's arm muscles flexed as she expertly popped the tops on those two as well and handed one to Lexa. Wanting to avoid another awkward toast Abby raised her own bottle to the other two women and said, “To going with the flow…” Anya and Lexa both returned her sheepish grin at the toast and they all tipped their bottles up together.

Out of the corner of her eye Abby saw Titus lean in and say something in Lexa’s ear and a moment or two later they started to move off towards the other side of the room again. Abby wasn’t really sure where they were going, but when she chanced a worried glance back to where Anya had been, the blonde was gone too. Deciding she better follow Lexa and quick, she bumped and slid her way through the gradually multiplying crowd. Abby caught up just as Titus and Lexa began climbing the steps to the booth. The door at the top opened abruptly, and the greasy haired man from before was standing there, a look of utter confusion on his face. Titus addressed him sternly, saying something Abby couldn’t quite hear. The sour looking man shot Lexa a death glare and then rudely pushed his way past them on the stairs.

Once inside the booth, Abby watched as Lexa ran her hands over the mass of equipment laying on the desk set against the half-wall front of the space. Lexa looked like she was touching an altar or some similarly sacred surface, and Abby smiled when she saw the grin that had spread across Lexa’s face. Lexa continued touching her fingertips to the equipment for a few more moments until a confused expression crossed her face. Lexa’s body stiffened as she swept her gaze over the crowd obviously looking for someone. Abby watched her and then let her eyes sweep over the crowd as well. The club was starting to get marginally more crowded, but Abby couldn’t really focus on any one face in the flashing lights of the dance floor. A moment or two later, Lexa turned her attention back to the equipment in front of her and Abby dd as well. Lexa and Titus had their heads close together again, so Abby just slunk back against the wall while they talked, not wanting to intrude on what was obviously a serious discussion.

Allowing her mind to wander, Abby managed to finish her beer without even taking much notice of easily it went down. Eventually, she politely excused herself from Lexa and Titus in the DJ booth, with the intention of finding the bathroom and then getting another beer. She stopped by the bar to drop off her empty beer bottle, nodding to Anya as she passed, offering her friend an easy smile. She found the bathroom with no problem and was surprised that the small room seemed fresh and well maintained. She had been expecting something a little more ‘seedy club,’ but it wasn’t as if she was going to complain about the bathroom being clean.

She quickly washed and dried her hands when she was finished and was venturing back across to the bar when she spotted a flash of bright blonde hair in the crowd. ‘Strange,’ she thought, her eyes tracking back immediately. The crowd squeezed together and then parted again and when Abby saw Clarke’s face, she really did panic then. ‘No! It can’t be! She can’t see me here,’ crossed Abby’s mind as she tried to just melt into the wall. She thought about going back into the bathroom and never coming back out again. She thought about making a break for the exit, but as she stood there contemplating that option she realized if she tried to get to the main entrance Clarke would most definitely spot her and then there would be awkwardness and embarrassment and Abby did not want to go anywhere near that. Glancing around the room for any other means of escape, she noticed a door along the back wall; one that she assumed led to the patio Anya had mentioned earlier. Abby didn’t know whether there would be an exit that way or not, but at that moment, it was a risk she was more than willing to take.


	3. The Connections

Lexa should have known better than to think she could just waltz into Polaris without being subjected to Titus’ dog and pony show. She should have known he would try to monopolize her entire evening with it, but she figured she could at least hear him out. That was part of why she was even there. In Lexa’s experience though, usually when people say, ‘I’m not trying to guilt trip you,’ that’s exactly what they are trying to do. She wanted to give Titus the benefit of the doubt though, maybe he was just trying to be honest with her and she was interpreting it wrong. She shook her head at the thought, because if there was any way she was going to agree to take up her old position, Titus was going to have to get a lot more honest with her. Needing a second just to think, she simply brushed past him and headed for the bar.

When the whole group made their way further inside and up to the bar though, he immediately settled in beside her, leaning against the bar as he half-whispered, half-shouted into her ear. “Heda, just think about it. As it stands, we’re operating at a loss, a severe one. If intake doesn’t improve, it’ll only be maybe three months before I’ll have to start letting people go, probably starting with Lincoln or Jasper. The worst part is this fucking DJ that I got to replace you, he’s… he’s just terrible.” As if on cue, the music screeched to a halt, leaving a few seconds of dead air before the next track began. The silence was so shocking that for just that second all activity stopped, including Titus’ little speech. He continued on again when the music started back up, maybe with a little more insistence though, “At first, he did fine, the mix sounded alright and the variety he was playing kept the crowd happy, but when I updated the system, he couldn’t handle it. I don’t know, I expected him to appreciate all the newer equipment. You always harped on me for newer stuff, but it’s like he’s afraid of change or something.” Titus paused, and Lexa thought he was done, but it seemed he was just taking a breath. She fought off a groan as he continued, “He’s getting worse too, refusing to play requests that don’t fit into his ‘vision’ and slamming the beats together so awkwardly that sometimes people don’t just leave the dance floor, they leave Polaris all together… I’m really not trying to pressure you, I only want you to know the truth of the situation here.”

Anya interrupted beside them, asking if she wanted a drink, and Lexa just glanced at Abby’s drink before she said, “Same,” pointing a finger at the beer.

Titus barely missed a beat though, continuing as if she hadn’t said anything at all, “I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to have to fire people. You know that. They’re all part of the crew, the family. _But_ , I can’t raise the cover charge or I risk driving away more business, and I can’t raise drink prices for the same reason. I just need the crowd to have a good time again. Business is always good when people are having a good time. All I know is, that they seemed to have a very good time when you were here.”

Lexa just nodded her head as she listened to Titus’ problems. She did feel bad that Polaris had taken a turn for the worse after she left. It felt strangely good too though, to know that she had such an effect on the crowd, but now that tus was struggling just to keep the business going, she felt guilty too. She knew then that had been the point of his little speech all along, and even though she was ready to turn him down simply out of spite, the thought of people she knew being fired gave her pause. She listened to him go over his possible options and knew that he was right there too; he couldn’t do any of the things he listed to try to break even again. His only option was to get people back in the club, back out on the dance floor and back to the bar; to just get people back to enjoying themselves.

Anya interrupted again, handing Lexa her beer just as she opened her mouth to respond. She closed it quickly enough and smirked as Abby valiantly offered the toast this time. Glancing at her friend as she took a gulp of her beer, she smiled as best she could when she pulled the bottle away from her lips. Titus was still murmuring in her ear, but she wasn’t really listening to him; she’d already made her decision. When he finally stopped to take another breath, Lexa turned back to him and simply agreed, “Alright, fine… let’s see this new set-up then.”

As Titus made his way across the room, almost dragging Lexa along behind him, Lexa glanced over her shoulder, and spotted a nervous-looking Abby following them across the club. She smiled back at Abby hoping to encourage her along. She forced Titus to slow down too, dragging her feet a little bit so Abby could catch up. They were all standing at the bottom of the booth steps, when the door to the booth flew open. Lexa barely managed to stifle a growl when she caught the look of pure hatred in Quint’s eyes. She had never liked him. She had seen him play a few private parties back in the day and had never thought he was any good. The look on his face made it clear, he did not appreciate the interruption. Titus didn’t hesitate though, saying loudly, “Take a break, Quint. Heda’s back.”

For a second, Lexa thought Quint was just going to slam the door in their faces, but then he turned his eyes to Lexa and sneered at her like he might attack if she continued to approach the booth. Lexa simply smirked at him though, knowing that he knew exactly who she was and what she was there to do. Titus jerked his thumb into the air in a ‘take a hike’ gesture and Lexa couldn’t help smirking harder as Quint pushed past them on the stairs and disappeared into the crowd. Lexa did make a mental note to watch her back around him that night, though. She had heard from Anya that he had a reputation for being both aggressive and territorial, whilst also being a coward; a dangerous combination in her book.

When Lexa finally reached the top of the stairs and entered the booth, all thoughts of Quint vanished. The new equipment was totally different from the crap that been set up the last time she’d spun at the club. The new mixing board wasn’t top of the line, but it definitely wasn’t the half-broken, second hand stuff she was remembered. It wasn’t set up exactly as she would have wanted either, but she thought that could be adjusted easy enough. She looked over Quint’s set list and grimaced, noticing the seemingly arbitrary order. “That’s a shame,” Lexa muttered to herself, as she ran her hands over the mixing pads again. Titus stepped up next to her and when their eyes met, she joked, “This looks like some pretty good gear. Where’d you steal it from?”

Titus’ feigned astonishment almost made Lexa laugh, but then he replied haughtily, “I bought it, thank you. With my own money, not the club’s. It’s all refurbished though, so I did get a good deal.”

Lexa pursed her lips at that, thinking that even refurbished there was five-thousand dollars’ worth of new equipment in front of her. She reached up to touch the switch decks, mostly just to feel the texture; they were worn smooth from being so well used. She closed her eyes too, trying to imagine what it would be like to be back at Polaris four or five nights a week. She drew in a deep breath through her nose, hoping the oxygen would help her think, but there was something new swirling in the air, something… exquisite. Her eyes snapped open, fixing on the crowd. She couldn’t help drawing in another deep breath, frantically searching the crowd for the origin of that scent, familiar yet still far away. It was like being in a field full of wild flowers just before a summer thunderstorm, sweet and earthy, yet heavy and wet. As it settled into her senses, she realized she had smelled something like it before, and the thought drove a pain through in her chest. She knew very well what that smell was: an omega’s call, one that was probably close to going into heat. Someone in the crowd was calling to Lexa and she stiffened with dread at the thought.

Turning her attention back to Titus, trying to push the scent aside, Lexa let out a heavy sigh. The atmosphere at Polaris was definitely different, and the crowd was different too, but the memories of who she was, who she had been, were still all around her as well. It made her heart heavy to think about making new memories over the old ones. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this, Titus,” was all she could say, but then she saw the way Titus’ face sank.

Sighing again, Lexa thought about taking it back, thought about saying that she just needed some more time, and then maybe… Thankfully, Abby piped up, saving her from floundering on the edge of uncertainty, breaking them both out of their thoughts as she called out, “I’m, uh, just gonna leave you guys to talk.” When Lexa gave her a confused look, Abby added, “Don’t worry. I’m just hitting the bathroom and then the bar. I’ll catch up with you later.”

Watching Abby walk down the stairs and across the club towards the restrooms, Lexa felt doubly guilty, not only for the state of things at Polaris, but for alienating her friend too. She didn’t get long to dwell on it though, that alluring omega scent catching in her nose again. She involuntarily groaned as her body dipped forward under the incredible pull. A firm grip took ahold of her elbow and before she could think better of it, she jerked away, snarling over her shoulder at whoever had dared to try to keep her from following that scent to its source. She only straightened up when she realized who was touching her. Stammering, she tried to apologize, “I— I’m sorry, Titus. I’m not sure what just came over me. There’s someone in the crowd, the pull, it’s so strong…”

Glancing back at the crowd for another moment Lexa heard Titus reply easily, if a little formally, “Heda, do not worry yourself about it. We all have our moments but do try not to rip anyone’s throat out if you can manage it.”

Lexa relaxed just the slightest bit when she realized his tone was meant to be more teasing than torturing. She swallowed a big gulp of air through her mouth, trying to avoid another nostril full of omega, and said, “Thank you, Titus, both for your understanding and your offer here.” She swept her hands around, gesturing to the booth and beyond as she said, “Can I… I’d like to take the night to think about it.”

Seeing the way Titus’ eyes lit up with hope made Lexa feel a little hopeful too, and she smiled as he readily agreed, “Of course, take all the time you need.”

“Thank you again… Now, would you excuse me?” Lexa asked simply then, hoping Titus wouldn’t mind if she hurried off. She really needed to look for whoever it was that smelled that strongly, even if it was just to know who to avoid. Her alpha was getting more restless by the second though, and she could feel her own pheromones surging in response. Titus was already nodding before she even finished her question however, so she quickly continued, “Alright then. We’ll talk tomorrow, I promise.” She nodded again when he did, and then she made her way out of the booth and beelined back to the bar.

Fighting to tamp down her more primitive instincts, Lexa quickly realized that the scent was even stronger by the bar than it had been anywhere else in the room. She didn’t want to allow herself to be ruled by some ridiculous primal need to mate though, not again, never again if she could help it. Losing one mate was enough for her, and so she resolved herself to ignore the scent and just hope she got used to it. For a second, she thought that might actually work, that is, until she figured out the source of that swirling scent was literally right under her nose. There was a blonde omega standing in front of her, belly up to the bar. It was as if that scent had drawn Lexa all the way across the room, despite her attempts to curtail her instincts. Lexa couldn’t stop herself from leaning into it just a little however, searching that scent for the tendrils of omega heat underneath. She felt sort of like she was being swept up in it, like the edges of a cyclone were pulling at her insides. She didn’t realize how close she had gotten to the blonde until the shorter woman turned around and smacked right into her.

The blonde gasped loudly, pushing her hands out to brace herself, clutching at the air to keep from falling backwards from the impact. She managed to grab hold of Lexa’s upper arms and Lexa automatically reached out and cupped her hands under the omega’s elbows to hold some of her weight. Lexa tensed every muscle at once trying to control her alpha’s reaction to the blonde omega in front of her. The moment their eyes met an undeniable connection was made though, something Lexa knew would not easily be ignored, especially with the way she was already pulsing against the inseam of her jeans. She knew she needed to say something, anything to break the tension that was cresting between them, but all she could think was, “you smell really good.”

It was there, wrapped in the arms of this beautiful, blond-haired omega, staring deep into her eyes, that Lexa finally understood what people meant by the eyes being the window to the soul. She felt like she was looking right into the inner being of this complete stranger, the depth of which she could so easily get lost in. It was only when she heard the woman in her arms tentatively say, “You… too,” that Lexa realized how forward she had been, but while she was sure she had sounded like some Neanderthal, just blurting out her thoughts like that, the blonde was smiling. Lexa couldn’t help but return it. The blonde’s hormones swirled around her again though, like a floral tornado, and Lexa thought she might need to get some air before she became totally overpowered by it.

Through her haze Lexa could hear someone shouting her name though, and when she snapped her eyes away from the blonde, it was like a part of her broke away from the whole and stayed staring into those baby-blue eyes. Lexa hadn’t released her grip on the blonde though, and she felt the woman shudder as well just as the eye contact broke. When she caught the look she was getting from her cousin across the bar top, and from the two women on either side of the blonde, she glanced back at the woman in her arms. Only when she smiled and nodded did Lexa let her go.

The blonde was blushing furiously too, and Lexa couldn’t stop a flush from creeping up onto her own face as well. Across the bar, Anya cleared her throat and called out, “Great timing, Cuz! I was just about to serve this young lady her very first legal shot. Want to join us?” Lexa smirked, not able to stop herself from taking just a second to glance up and down at the blonde before she regained her composure again. A moment later, Anya slid shots over the bar to each of them, keeping the last one back for herself. Anya was the first to raise her shot though and when everyone else had their glasses raised, she half shouted, “To... Uh…” Lexa almost laughed when Anya gestured to the birthday girl and it took a moment before the younger woman understood and loudly blurted out, “Octavia!” The girl’s two friends laughed heartily before they each tipped their glasses to Octavia and drank together, with Lexa and Anya trailing only a moment behind.

Pushing her empty glass back up onto the bar, Lexa caught eyes with the blonde again. Those baby-blues sparkled at her, trying to draw her into their depths in again, but this time Lexa managed to keep a little bit of her cool. Instead of going all caveman, she simply offered the blonde her hand and introduced herself, “Hey. I’m Lexa.”

“I-I’m Clarke. Nice to m-m-meet you,” Clarke stammered, taking Lexa’s hand and shaking it. Lexa could tell she was having quite the effect on Clarke. She tried to mute her own scent, not wanting to overwhelm Clarke, but then Clarke’s own hormones surged to replace Lexa’s in the air. Lexa could almost feel the heat in Clarke’s scent, lurking ever closer to the surface. She figured Clarke couldn’t be more than a day or two away from her full heat, and even though she didn’t mean for it to, Lexa’s body reacted accordingly. Lexa wanted to be embarrassed about it, but then Clarke’s head cocked to the side, and suddenly Lexa couldn’t figure out why her arm was still moving. It wasn’t until she looked down that she realized they had been shaking hands for far, far too long.

Lexa shrugged a little, thinking it was funny, but a part of her still wasn’t quite ready to let go. A moment later though, Clarke smiled sheepishly and started to pull her hand away, but Lexa just squeezed it a little and blurted out, “Do you wanna dance?”

Clarke visibly relaxed at her words, and Lexa smiled when Clarke reversed their grip to interlace their fingers before replying easily, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Feeling a little dazed as Clarke all but dragged her onto the dance floor, Lexa quickly became painfully aware of her growing _problem_ as Clarke slotted herself firmly against Lexa’s body and started to move. Lexa bit back against her instincts though, instantly thankful that the song was a least one she recognized, so she didn’t have to think about getting her own body to move to the beat; it just moved on its own. It was a song she didn’t play for herself very often though, as the words were so poignant that Lexa almost couldn’t bring herself to listen to them. She knew the words too well to not sing along though, cooing softly, “To love completely, and utterly, to give yourself away so unselfconsciously. It’s altruism in its purest form. A kind of otherness from which ego is torn. It isn't weakness. It isn't frailty. It's being human, and it's sustaining…” Clarke swooned a little in her arms as Lexa huffed out the words, their eyes still fixed together. As they continued to move against each other, Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and pulled her in close, unable to stop herself from pressing her face into where the blonde’s neck met her shoulder and breathing in deep. The pull was the absolute strongest it had ever been, and Lexa barely managed to not rip Clarke’s clothes off right there in the middle of everyone.

It wasn’t long before Clarke nuzzled in closer, scenting her as well, and Lexa felt like she might explode, just feeling Clarke’s lips so close to her skin. She huffed out a hot breath against Clarke’s neck, struggling as she brought her mouth up to the blonde’s ear to say, “God Clarke, I— I never… I’ve never felt a pull as strong as yours before. I’m not sure I can stay this close to you and not, uh, do something about it.”

Clarke pulled her head away from Lexa’s and her smile said so much; Clarke felt it too. Obviously, that didn’t stop her from teasing Lexa about it though, laughing as she said, “Wow, we just met, Lexa. What happened to dates and foreplay?”

Lexa’s eyes flashed with a mischievous glint, loving how Clarke’s teasing sounded a lot like flirting. She leaned forward again to breathe into Clarke’s ear, “Oh there’ll be plenty of foreplay… if you’ll let me.”

Allowing her eyes to follow Clarke’s as she glanced down in between them, Lexa watched as Clarke intentionally rocked her hips forward with the music. They were so close already, but the way Clarke’s lower belly pressed into her forced a groan out of Lexa’s throat. The sound only seemed to drive Clarke on, and Lexa could barely contain herself when Clarke slotted a thigh between her legs and rocked forward again. It only took a few beats before Lexa lost her hardly-won control and moaned loudly in Clarke’s ear. Her hands flinched and the grip she had on the blonde’s waist tightened as she pulled the blonde against herself again. Clarke let out a startled squeak at the rough touch and pulled her face back from the side of Lexa’s neck, gasping into the air.

Lexa kicked herself for causing Clarke to draw away from her, but the distance helped her get a little better control over herself. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t…” Lexa started stammering immediately, forcing herself to take a half a step back. She didn’t extract her arms from around Clarke’s waist, but she didn’t want Clarke to feel pressured either. Lexa knew she didn’t have the right to grip this woman, this total stranger, that way, but for a second, she just hadn’t been able to stop herself. When she felt like she had an even better handle on herself she loosened her grip too, not wanting whatever was happening with Clarke to go so fast that it burned out before it really even got started. Lexa finally got control over her mouth too, and said simply, “Why— Why don’t we just find somewhere to talk? That ok with you?”

Clarke smirked, and Lexa thought it looked sort of devious. Her thoughts were easily confirmed when Clarke replied, “That’s fine… you can take me anywhere you want.”

Nearly choking on her own breath when it hitched in her throat, Lexa tried to play it off as a laugh, and was only mildly successful, seeing a little grin tipping up towards the corners of Clarke’s eyes. She could feel her alpha stirring and pushing against her control again, but she pushed back too, and a moment or two later she took Clarke’s hand in her own again and led her out onto the patio. ‘Maybe the fresh air will help clear my head,’ Lexa thought as she glanced back at Clarke, but the sight she saw almost made her snicker.

Clarke’s eyes were firmly fixed on the little strip of her back that was exposed by the gap in between her vest and her pants. Clarke licked her top lip suggestively and the hungry look in her eyes only caused Lexa’s instincts to push harder against her barely contained control. When her insides started swirling and shifting again, she knew there was no more holding it back. She had experienced the shift a few times before, with Costia. On those occasions though, it had been a planned thing, taking time off work to satisfy her omega’s needs. She had never lost control in public before, not even when she had first presented. She knew how her body was supposed to respond when she was faced with an omega’s call such as Clarke’s, but she also didn’t want to presume she would be allowed anywhere near Clarke when her cycle took over. Lexa shook her head to try to clear away the haze of the omega’s heady scent and tamped down on the heat swirling in her core again, even though she already knew it was too late.

When they reached one of the benches on the patio, Lexa landed on it with a huff, shifting when her underwear bunched and pulled. Clarke went to sit beside her just as Lexa shifted, and they ended up bumbling over each other for a moment before Clarke landed awkwardly, right in Lexa’s lap. Clarke squeaked when her rear met with Lexa’s rapidly bulging inseam, but Lexa sighed heavily at the pressure, not painful just unexpected. Lexa shuddered as Clarke shifted, hiding her face in Lexa’s neck, whispering coyly, “I guess foreplay might be a little over-rated, huh?”

Lexa couldn’t help but laugh. The movement of her chest bounced against Clarke’s body though, causing her squirm again. Groaning, Lexa’s hands flew to Clarke’s waist as the heat of Clarke’s sex now rested more firmly against her. It took all of Lexa’s willpower not to carry Clarke off like a barbarian. She nuzzled her face into Clarke’s neck instead and almost whined as she said, “We really should, uh, talk though. I mean, you don’t even know me.”

Lexa’s hot breath had an unintended effect though, obviously sending shivers down Clarke’s spine. Clarke threw her head back, exposing the source of her intoxicating scent and Lexa could barely hear Clarke’s next words over the pounding of her heart. “O— Ok, Lexa,” she breathed, “What do you wanna talk about?”

Taking a deep breath to get control over herself, Lexa shifted her hands to Clarke’s hips and gently encouraged her onto her own seat on the bench. She chuckled at how easily Clarke responded to her touch, quickly settling in close beside her. Lexa continued to inhale steadily until she felt like her words would come out right, before she finally whispered, “Well, how about we start with your phone number, and then we can go from there?”

 

~~~

 

Raven’s eyes followed Clarke and her new friend, as they orbited each other on their way to the dance floor. She let out a little huff when they slotted themselves against each other as they danced. She turned away only to see Octavia blushing bright red, with the blonde from behind the bar whispering in her ear. ‘Great,’ Raven thought as she tried to catch the attention of the other bartender, who had just arrived and seemed out of breath. He was helping customers towards the other end of the bar though and hadn’t made his way over to her yet.

Octavia kept laughing and flirting, and Raven tried to ignore it. She tried everything; tried to flag down the new bartender again, tried people watching, tried to think of any way her night wasn’t going to end up being a total wash, but it was no use. She needed to get away from everyone for a few minutes or she thought she might freak out, or scream, or cry. Watching her friends pair off so quickly was just another reminder of how she wasn’t wanted, wasn’t good enough. The rational part of Raven knew she was probably being an envious bitch, but that didn’t stop her from feeling really jealous anyway.

Without a word to Octavia, Raven simply turned away from the bar and hobbled out onto the patio, searching for fresh air and a little alone time to sulk. Of course, sulking always went better with alcohol, but Raven figured she could make do for a few minutes before trying the bar again. The patio was pretty deserted, only a couple of people crossing it to head into the club’s secondary building. She picked the bench that was in the far corner, by the other building, mostly because it was halfway in the dark, meaning she could hide in peace. She had always tried to be positive in the past, but some things were getting harder to ignore. It wasn’t even that she wanted a mate and everything that went with one. It was more about just being wanted, knowing there was someone who just wanted to be with her. Most of the time she could push down the fear of being alone for the rest of her life, but this was one of the exact reasons why she didn’t really like going out to clubs to begin with. Every time she got the least bit interested in someone, they’d see her brace, or catch her limping, and then it was back to square one.

A squeak from across the patio broke Raven’s concentration and when she looked up, she spotted Clarke planted firmly in her new friend’s lap. She groaned, “Ok… Now I definitely need another drink,” as she rose from the bench and made her way as quickly as possible towards the second building of the club. She knew from her first, and only other time, at Polaris that one of the dance rooms inside had small bar. As a bonus, it seemed they played slower stuff and 80’s music in that room too. Less competition at the bar and better music was definitely a win-win. She remembered they only served shots, and bottle beer and water, at that bar, but she figured that would suit her needs just fine anyway. Another whiskey shot would go a long way towards helping her forget how uncomfortable she was, maybe even enough for her to have a little fun.

Raven moved inside the building and down the hall toward the entrances to the two smaller dance rooms. Booming bass from the right, and a slow steady beat to the left, Raven quickly chose left. At one glance, she quickly realized she was one of only six other people in the room, including the DJ and the bartender. Looking over towards the bar, Raven noticed a woman sitting as close to the wall as she could get, half hiding her face behind a beer. There was an empty shot glass waiting to be filled in front of her too. That was an intriguing invitation if she ever saw one, and so she quickly shuffled her way across the room to the bar. The bartender turned to her almost immediately, and with a smile she said, “Whiskey and a beer please… and another shot for the lady at the end down there. She looks like she could use it.”

The bartender moved away from her with purpose and returned a moment later with her shot and beer. Raven watched as he turned towards the older woman in the corner and as he began refilling her shot, the woman started to protest. He said something and then gestured over his shoulder to Raven. When the older woman looked up and their eyes met, Raven could tell this woman was a nervous wreck, but she smiled anyway and tipped her shot glass towards the other woman. It took just a second before the woman followed suit, and they tipped their glasses back together.

Raven debated with herself for a moment before glancing back down the bar again, only to find the other woman hiding behind her mostly empty beer bottle again. Liquid courage flowing again, Raven slid herself down the bar and said, “Hey… you ok?” She moved her hand like she was going to rest it on the woman’s shoulder and only let it land once she was sure the brunette wouldn’t flinch away.

The older woman turned towards her and mumbled, “Oh. I’m ok, thanks,” but Raven could instantly tell that wasn’t true. When the woman lightly placed her hand over Raven’s, Raven felt a little quiver in her stomach at the contact. It was just the lightest of touches, but it was like a live circuit had been completed, sending tingles all the way up Raven’s arm. It had been a long time since anyone had held Raven’s hand, at least anyone other than Clarke and Octavia, and the sensation was sort of dizzying.

Trying to steady herself a little, Raven breathed in deep to reply and was caught by a familiar scent. It took her a moment to place it, finally remembering that strange and sort of disarming mix of disinfectant and sweetness she had smelled in the cab on the way to Polaris. It wasn’t hard to figure out where that scent was coming from; the alpha sitting right in front of her. She stopped herself from taking in another deep whiff and instead forced out, “No problem… So, you, uh, you here alone?”

In the second it took for the woman to respond, Raven immediately began kicking herself for such a stupid line. ‘Why didn’t you just ask her if she comes here often, dumbass?’ Raven thought, barely managing to maintain the smile on her face, as the woman said, “What? Oh, no. My friends are over in the main building. I just needed to escape for a minute or two. Really, I’m—” The way her voice trailed off, Raven thought the woman had more to say but was unsure whether to say it or not.  Raven just waited as the brunette took in a deep breath, obviously bolstering her courage, until finally, the woman huffed out, “I’m pretty sure I saw my daughter over there and now I’m, uh, well I’m hiding from her in here.” Raven watched as a grimace pulled the corners of the older woman’s brow down, causing a defeated looking furrow to form on her forehead.

After that, the woman’s lips were pressed so tightly together Raven wondered if this woman was going to say anything else the rest of the night. She simply chuckled lightly at her companion’s obvious hesitation about continuing, and when the alpha’s face hardened further, Raven easily quipped, “Oh don’t alpha up on me know. We were just starting to get to know each other.”

The alpha smiled at Raven, but her forehead scrunched again, only this time in thought, before she asked, “Well, what makes you think we should get to know each other at all?”

It seemed to Raven the other woman meant for her words to be flirtatious, but mostly she just sounded uncertain. Raven cocked her head to the side and flashed a bright smile, suddenly very curious about this alpha. She thought maybe this woman was testing her, so she said, “Wow. Ok… Well, now that I think about it, that is a tough one. Maybe you’re right… maybe I’ll just head back down to my end of the bar then.”

Raven started to get up, but the older woman stopped her with a soft brush of her hand on her arm. “I wasn’t saying I didn’t want to know you, I was only wondering why you wanted to know me,” she explained, and Raven could almost hear the hope in the alpha’s voice.

Smiling again, Raven felt relieved she had managed to call the bluff and quickly turned back, saying, “What can I say? You seem so interesting already… I mean, we’ve only known each other maybe three minutes, but I can tell you’re more expressive and more intuitive than any other alpha I’ve ever met.” When the alpha blushed a little at the praise in her voice, Raven pushed on, “I also know you’ve got a daughter who’s at least 21. And… I kinda get the feeling your friends ditched you, just like mine did me… Am I right?”

The older woman gaped, and only after a moment or two of total speechlessness, did she finally manage, “Yes… I do have a daughter, and she’s 23. I— I guess I am, I don’t know, sensitive for an alpha, whatever that means, but I’d say that probably has something to do with being married to a beta for most of my adult life. And as for my friends, I’m not really sure who ditched who. When I saw my daughter, I just bolted out of there as fast I could.”

Raven could feel the slight unease in the alpha’s airspace, but instead of letting it push her away, she simply edged closer to the older woman and said, “So, does that mean we are going to get to know each other? Because if so, it sure would be nice to know your name.”

The older woman laughed lightly and nodded, relaxing a little as she held out her hand out for Raven to take. Raven smiled as the woman said, “You’re absolutely right. How rude of me… I’m Abby.”

Before Abby had a chance to say anything more, Raven gripped her hand, firmly shaking it as she replied, “Pleasure to meet you, Abby. I’m Raven.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too, Raven. Now, let’s see, if your grip is any indication, I’d say you work with your hands, so, I guess I have to ask… what do you do, Raven?” Abby inquired, with a wink and a cool smirk pulling up at one corner of her mouth.

Raven’s stomach did a little flip at the way Abby said her name with that coy smile. She had to swallow hard before she could form a coherent answer, “I’m a mechanic… Actually, I own one-third of Ark Towing & Service. A couple of friends and I went in together and bought out our old boss when he retired.”

Abby’s eyes widened, and her eyebrows raised at the suggestion of Raven owning her own business, but Raven kind of expected that. She returned Abby’s shocked expression, gently mocking the older woman. Abby simply smirked again and said, “Sorry, it’s just… you can’t possibly own your own business. Surely, you’re not much older than my daughter. What, you’re 23, 24?”

Raven smiled brightly at the flattery and chuckled as she said, “Yeah, hardly. I’m almost twenty-eight, but thank you for the compliment, anyway. Sometimes I feel old, all my friends are younger than me, well, except my friend Wick, but he’s only a year older. I mean, the reason I’m even here tonight is for one of my much-younger friend’s birthdays.”

Abby’s eyebrows went right back up and before Raven had a chance to continue Abby said, “Oh you should not talk like that! You’re definitely not old enough to say you feel old. Wait until you’re my age, then you can say things like that.”

Pressing her lips tightly together, Raven looked over Abby with a critical, yet approving eye. She very much appreciated how Abby’s body looked in her outfit, the layers of fabric contouring to her every curve, leaving just enough to her imagination to be sexy as hell, without being flashy. Raven gulped in a heavy breath and admitted, “If I look half as gorgeous as you when I get there, I guess getting older doesn’t seem so bad.” She winked at Abby and when Abby blushed, Raven’s inner omega squealed with glee.

“I can’t imagine you’ll have any problems in that department,” slipped out of Abby’s mouth, clearly before she had a chance to filter it and Raven smirked as Abby’s blush deepened further. Raven watched as Abby became pensive, obviously considering their age difference, and when Abby muttered a very quiet, “What are you doing?” Raven let it go without comment. She didn’t think Abby had actually mean the question for her, so she tried to allow the older woman time to figure out the answer to her own question.

A moment later, Abby eyes drifted down to roam over her body as well, and Raven let her look, suddenly not afraid of this alpha seeing her brace. Obviously, the age difference wasn’t enough to keep Abby from at least having a look at her, and Raven figured if that didn’t stop her, maybe her brace wouldn’t be a problem either. Eventually, when Abby’s eyes didn’t return to meet her own though, Raven became a little anxious. She tried to play it off, friskily saying, “Enjoying the view?” She waggled her shoulders suggestively at the still blushing alpha, smiling as Abby gulped in another shaking breath.

Stifling a gasp, Raven felt it when Abby’s alpha pushed to the surface, just after Abby pulled in that big breath of air. Raven knew immediately that it was her scent drawing Abby’s alpha forth, but the low timbred growl that escaped Abby’s throat still made shivers run all through Raven’s body. It seemed the movement finally forced Abby’s eyes up to Raven’s face and the look Raven found in Abby’s eyes was both aroused and conflicted. Raven tried to grin at Abby, but she suspected her dark eyes were betraying the anxiety she always felt when meeting new people. Raven assumed Abby had seen her brace, and despite the hungry look in Abby’s eyes, Raven still feared that Abby would soon make some excuse, probably a polite one, and then Raven would be alone again. Her heart sank a little at the thought, but she didn’t have long to dwell on that before Abby blurted out, “I-I’m sorry… I wasn’t— I mean— I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Raven’s grin softened into the most inviting smile she could muster, and she slowly reached out to retake Abby’s hand as she said, “Abby, look at me.” When Abby didn’t look up though, Raven took some initiative and brought her free hand up to cup under Abby’s jaw, gently tipping her head up. She could feel the pounding of Abby’s heartbeat against her skin, and the feeling almost made her withdraw her hand, but when Abby’s eyes met her own again, Raven knew instantly that she needed to get to know this alpha better. Abby looked at her like her heart hurt, like the momentary slip of Abby’s alpha had ruined something. Truthfully, the sound Abby had emitted, albeit clearly involuntarily, had shaken Raven all the way to the core, and Raven realized she loved seeing someone so effected by her scent. She looked deep into Abby’s eyes, letting that truth come out, as she said, “You’re not making me uncomfortable. Honestly, I kinda like the feeling of you looking at me like that. Most people don’t get past the brace before they move on.”

When Abby cocked her head to the side, Raven felt just as confused as Abby looked, but then she heard Abby say, “What brace?”

Unable to do anything but just blinked at her, Raven suddenly realized she wasn’t sure whether Abby was serious or not. Abby obviously wasn’t joking though, and Raven huffed in disappointment. For once, she thought she was getting somewhere with someone, but of course, now Abby would move on like every other romantic relationship Raven had tried to foster since her accident. Well, except for one, but that was something she absolutely didn’t want to be thinking about in that particular moment. Resolved, Raven decided to just get it over with. She stood quickly and started to move away from Abby, not explaining herself in the least, simply walking away before she could allow her hopes to get any higher. Raven felt the movement behind her as Abby immediately got up to follow her and when Raven looked over her shoulder, she could see the hurt in Abby’s eyes had deepened. Raven’s anxiety boiled over at that look, and she turned back just to snarl, “What? I don’t want your pity! OK?”

“And you won’t get it. Don’t confuse empathy with pity. I know exactly what you’re thinking,” Abby nearly barked back, and for a second, Raven was too angry to be able to think of a smartass retort. Abby quickly continued however, only slightly more calmly than before, “You think just because you have some physical issue that I wouldn’t be interested in you, but that’s not how I operate. I look at what’s inside a person before I decide whether they’re attractive or not… So… Stay, please?”

It was Raven’s turn to be momentarily speechless and when she finally started to get her thoughts into some kind of order, a soft squeeze against her fingers brought her thoughts crashing down again. Here was this sweet, sensitive woman, holding her hand, rubbing tiny circles into her skin with her thumb, caressing her, reassuring her; an alpha that smelled sweeter and sweeter with each moment that ticked by. The way Abby looked at her then, like she was seeing something that was, at once seemingly brand new and utterly familiar too, made Raven lean into the woman’s scent. She found nothing but comfort there; a kind of warmth that she certainly wasn’t expecting, and a strange sense of safety like she had never felt before. She figured it was only right to at least see where the rest of her life could go.

 

~~~

 

As they crossed into the club, Octavia was too busy trying to keep one foot moving in front of the other to notice much of the interior. There was a stage and a pool table and the dance floor and the DJ booth; she noticed them all, but her focus was on the bar. When she finally got there though her focus narrowed to the blonde, alpha bartender slinging drinks behind the bar, like it was her job. Some small part of Octavia laughed at her own internal joke, but the rest of her was fixated; those muscles, those eyes, that smell. She knew this alpha was the center of that intoxicating summer smell from the cab; it was like it was funneling all around her, drawing her in like a black hole, unavoidable and all encompassing. It was a good thing Clarke and Raven were pressed in so close to her, because when the bartender turned to them and said, “What’ll it be, ladies?” Octavia felt her knees go weak. She suddenly wished she had paid better attention when Raven and Clarke had been talking about this woman the other night, because this alpha, was one of the most stunning people Octavia had ever seen.

Pulse pounding in her ears, Octavia barely heard Raven say, “You pick, O. Your first legal shot should be your choice.” Even with all eyes on her, she still couldn’t take her eyes off the tall, blonde hunk of an alpha leaning across the bar though, a knowing smirk turning up the corners of the alpha’s lips.

“First legal drink, huh? You just turn 21?” the bartender asked, cocky smile widening as Octavia felt heat instantly flushing the skin of her cheeks. Nodding was about all Octavia could do, but at least she thought she managed to keep her face down, thus hiding most of the blush in her cheeks. Something about the way the bartender was looking at her made her feel hot, and she struggled to keep herself from squirming under that intense gaze. She couldn’t focus, certainly not enough to say anything, so she just stood there and stared at the bar top for a moment. She felt a little relief when the alpha turned her attention to Raven and Clarke and asked bluntly, “Did you guys pre-game before coming here tonight?” Octavia caught both Raven and Clarke nod shyly, and the bartender’s clipped tone continued as she asked, “And, what did your friend here have?”

Clarke shuffled a little beside her and Octavia glanced up just as Clarke replied, “She had a couple of margaritas.”

She had meant to look at Clarke, but the little glimpse of the bartender smiling at her, had Octavia grinning into her chest when she looked down again. It was only another moment before she heard the alpha say, “Ok, tequila… Is that good for all three of you?” Octavia thought she might faint when a pointed finger crossed under of her nose, the alpha gesturing between her two friends as she spoke, wafting the alpha’s scent ever-so-enticingly her way.

When Raven replied, “Whiskey for me, thanks,” Octavia couldn’t help herself; she looked up again, unable to keep her eyes from flicking to the alpha over and over.

As Clarke piped up on her other side, saying, “Do you have white rum?” Octavia focused on the muscles in the alpha’s neck and the way they moved as she nodded. Octavia looked away again when the alpha’s eyes fell to her again, even as Clarke exclaimed, “Great! That’s what I’ll have.”

A wave of utter relief crossed over Octavia when the alpha finally turned away to pour their shots. With the bartender’s back turned towards her, she slowly allowed her eyes to trail over the alpha’s shapely form again. Undressing those muscles with her eyes, she blushed furiously at the thought of seeing more of that body, preferably naked and on top of her. Broken from her thoughts, Raven chuckled beside her, probably laughing at the flush of her cheeks. Octavia groaned as Raven said, “Oh, little O, I’m so proud of you. I think you’ve finally found a big ‘O’ friend.”

Whipping her head around, Octavia glared at her friend. She’d never felt so embarrassed, but she tried to power through it as she said, “God, Raven, must you be so crass?” She paused for a second, considering, glancing back at the bartender before refocusing on Raven. Keeping her voice low, she quietly admitted, “I mean, do I think she’s attractive? Sure… but I know absolutely nothing about her, well, other than the fact that she smells really good, so, maybe, just cool it for now, ok?” Octavia was sure her skin was going to melt off then however, because when she glanced back towards where the bartender had been, she quickly realized that the alpha had returned with their drinks just in time to catch the tail end of her little confession.

The alpha simply smiled at her as she settled their drinks in front of them though. Their eyes met and for a moment Octavia didn’t know what to think. This alpha was something else, attractive and well-muscled, of course, but it seemed like there was something else dancing in those honey, golden eyes. Octavia was quickly getting overwhelmed by the intensity of that gaze again, but sharp movements in her peripheral vision broke their eye contact. She jerked her head around, and to her surprise she found a lanky brunette alpha had appeared abruptly behind Clarke and somehow, they had become entangled, Clarke clutching desperately at the stranger, trying not to fall over. Her head spun again, this time back towards the bar, when a voice called out behind her, “Lexa! Great timing, Cuz! I was just about to serve this young lady her very first legal shot. Want to join us?”

Octavia realized quickly that this ‘Lexa’ and the bartender must know each other; the bartender’s tone too casual for Lexa to be just another customer, even if she was a regular. She watched as Lexa’s eyes snapped over to the bartender and nodded only slightly. Lexa looked tense, but Octavia’s eyes eventually drifted back to the bartender, and she almost swooned when the blonde gracefully slid Lexa’s shot across the bar to her. The way her wrist flicked, and the way her muscles flexed and relaxed under her skin was driving Octavia a little crazy. Suddenly, the bartender was saying something, her own glass raised in the air. Octavia looked around kind of dumbly, only to realize everyone was now looking at her. She struggled to catch up with what was happening, nearly shouting her own name when she realized that they were trying to toast to her. After a little chuckle of embarrassment, she downed her shot, hoping to crawl into the bottom of her glass to hide.

When she glanced back to her friends, she realized that things were becoming quite intense between Clarke and Lexa, and all too soon, Clarke was leading the brunette away towards the dance floor. Feeling slightly more lubricated by the tequila shot, Octavia turned back to the bar and shouted across to the bartender, “I hope your friend knows what she’s getting herself into.”

The alpha was already looking at her, smiling as she easily replied, “I hope your friend knows what she’s doing too. My cousin can be… intense.” The blonde’s voice trailed off as her eyes moved over towards the dance floor, and Octavia fought down another blush as she took in the way Clarke and Lexa were pressed tightly against each other. A little twinge of jealousy ran through Octavia at the sight and she was suddenly very sad the alpha across from her was _across_ the bar from her. She wanted to do that, what Clarke was doing; she wanted to drag this blonde alpha off to the dance floor and press herself up against the alpha like that. It was a little discomforting wanting that though. At least Clarke had her impending heat as an excuse, but wanting to climb the bartender like a tree, left Octavia feeling a little raw. She sighed a little dejectedly before turning back to the blonde, only to find the alpha’s attention already back on her again. The alpha’s smile turned a little wicked and hungry when their eyes met, and Octavia felt her cheeks heat all over again. The alpha only hesitated for a moment before she leaned across the bar to her and whisper-shouted into her ear, “So… Octavia, huh? That’s quite a name you’ve got... Let me guess, are you a Roman princess? Or, do you have a bunch of over-protective older siblings I need to worry about?”

Octavia couldn’t help the way she stammered over herself as she replied, “Oh, my, uh, well, my brother, Bellamy, yeah, he named me. He was, uh, obsessed with ancient history when I was born, so, so Octavia was what he chose. I like it though, it’s… it’s different.”

The bartender chuckled, and the heat of her breath tickled over Octavia’s neck. A shudder trickled down her spine at the sensation. The alpha smirked again, obviously pleased with herself and Octavia couldn’t even be mad. She had every right to be smug. Octavia swooned a little more when the alpha cocked her head to the side as she said, “So, I was right. You are a Roman princess.” The alpha’s eyes trailed down as she continued, “Though I’d have to say you’re too beautiful to be just a princess. I’m thinking more like Greek Goddess.”

Feeling the alpha’s gaze linger over her chest and neck, Octavia felt her skin tingle everywhere the alpha looked, her face heating up again when those eyes settled on her own again. She suppressed another shudder, and tried to play it off, laughing almost nervously, as she began to respond, “I, uh, I’m just a…” She couldn’t seem to catch her breath though, as she watched the blonde lick her lips. The gleam of the teeth beyond those lips caused her squeak instead, finally forcing her to bark out, “I-I’m just a girl really. I’m not, not special.”

The bartender didn’t let up though, looking deep into her eyes, as she said, “Oh, I don’t know about that. You smell pretty good to me too, gorgeous.”

Octavia gasped as the alpha’s scent seemed to swirl through the air then, the sweet, summer scent quickly enveloping her in its warmth. She immediately felt weak-kneed, almost _submissive_ , and then there it was, the feeling Octavia had been trying to place since the first moment their eyes met. Not once in her whole life had she ever been the submissive, quiet, blushing omega; she was a fighter, an independent person with goals and dreams, ones that didn’t include mating an alpha and having a bunch of said alpha’s babies. But, the way this alpha was looking at her and speaking to her, had Octavia’s instincts screaming at her to do whatever it took to make this alpha _hers_. On the outside the blonde seemed all tough and alpha-aggressive, but there was steadiness there, a calm like Octavia had never seen before. Most of all, the blonde seemed to have complete control over her pheromones, complete control period, which was a lot more than Octavia could say about her own situation. Realizing she was staring again, she blushed profusely, and ducked her head to further avoid the alpha’s smoking gaze.

She could feel it the second the alpha’s gaze was diverted from her, distracted by a voice calling out, “Be free, Anya. I’m here to spring you. Go! Enjoy the rest of your night.” She turned and found a young beta man standing beside Anya, eyebrows raised with a goofy grin on his face. He swept his eyes towards her, and Octavia found herself hiding from his gaze as well, glancing back down to avoid any more embarrassment. A couple of quick movements in her periphery had her eyes snapping right back up though, just in time to see Anya quickly sweeping her gaze over the bar top. Then, Anya slapped her hands down on the bar top and vaulted over it, landing with a sort of cat-like grace, right next to Octavia. The quick move caused Octavia to gasp, but when Anya looked in her eyes, she let out a pleased sigh from deep in her chest, thrilled to have Anya’s attention all to herself.

Feeling a strange tingling in her fingers, Octavia glanced down to find them already entwined with Anya’s. Her eyes flashed back up to Anya’s face, and she found the alpha smirking knowingly at her again, and she flushed with the heat that smile created. She opened her mouth to speak but Anya beat her to it, winking as she asked, “Wanna dance?” Octavia hid her face again, but nodded, even as Anya had already begun leading her towards the door set into the back wall of the building. Octavia squeezed Anya’s hand slightly, silently asking where they were going, and she was grateful when Anya turned back to her. “Well I don’t know about you, but I like it a little harder and faster,” Anya purred then, voice low and husky, and Octavia couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down her spine hearing the blonde say those words. The look on Anya’s face told Octavia that her little shiver hadn’t gone unnoticed either, and that Anya was clearly enjoying the effect she was having. “One of the other dance rooms plays more hardcore music. I think you’ll like it,” Anya added as she gestured towards the back door again and Octavia nodded furiously as Anya made way for the door again.

Once out on the patio, Octavia slowed their progress when she spotted Clarke sitting with Lexa, side by side on one of the benches along the opposite wall. The distance made it hard to tell what was going on, but whatever it was, the tension in the air was palpable, so Octavia decided maybe it was best to just leave them be. She took the lead a little then, hurrying them both across the patio, but once they were inside the second building, Octavia stopped as Anya pulled up alongside her. When an arm wrapped around her waist, she instantly leaned into the contact. Even with how close they were, it was still hard to her when Anya whispered, “You let me know if it’s too rough, yeah?” Octavia followed the motion when Anya jerked her head down the hall towards the booming bass escaping through the doorway on the right. She couldn’t help but be delighted with the way things were going, thoroughly enjoying Anya’s aggressive flirting. Anya chuckled though and started strolling casually towards the door, leaving Octavia standing there, struggling to reign in her hormones. In that moment it was a struggle to do more than breathe.

When Anya disappeared around the corner, she hustled to catch up, not wanting Anya to get too far away, but Octavia didn’t get any farther than the doorway before she stopped short again. Her eyes found Anya pretty quickly, but it was who she was standing with that made Octavia pause. It was mostly dark, with lights only flashing up on them every few seconds, but Octavia had spent enough time around Bellamy and Raven’s shop to know Lincoln when she saw him. She smiled as his eyes swept the room, but when he caught her staring, she blushed and looked away. She wasn’t really sure where else to look, her gaze immediately meeting Anya’s again instead. There was a brief look of confusion that flashed across Anya’s face, but then a grimace settled over Anya’s sharp features. It was a sour look if Octavia ever saw one, and for a second, she couldn’t figure out what had spoiled Anya’s seemingly good mood. Anya looked over at Lincoln then though, and Octavia quickly realized that Anya was jealous.

There was nothing for Anya to be jealous of, of course, but obviously Anya didn’t know that. Octavia moved towards them, trying to think of a way to appease the tension she could see rising in the muscles of Anya’s arms and shoulders. She began pumping out her most calming hormones, purely on instinct. For just a second though, all she could think about was how it would feel to have those tense muscles pressing into her own. If she was being honest with herself, Lincoln was no slouch in the muscle department, but looking at him had never made Octavia feel so out of control. She took another step forward but then a low growl erupted from Anya’s chest and Octavia halted her advance, suddenly overwhelmed by a tidal wave of Anya’s pheromones. It was like every inch of her skin burned, and by the time Lincoln finally turned his eyes towards Anya, Octavia was barely holding herself together. Her knees nearly buckled under the weight of Anya’s push for dominance. She had just enough presence of mind to register Lincoln’s voice as he plainly said, “Anya, calm down. There’s no need for that… Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about trying to start something with Octavia a few times, but her brother would probably kill me… Uh, watch out for him, he’s very protective.”

A wave of relief flooded over Octavia as Anya huffed out a steady sigh. It seemed that the brief battle of wills was over, and after a moment, Anya clapped Lincoln on the shoulder and said, “Thank you for your honesty, friend. I— I’m sorry I got so defensive. I barely know her, but I feel so drawn to her.” Anya turned to look for her, and Octavia could see how surprised Anya was to find her rooted in place only a few feet away.

The intensity of Anya’s gaze was such that Octavia almost missed Lincoln’s good-natured reply, “I can see that. Maybe you should go to her… she looks a little shell-shocked right now.”

Fighting down a whine when their eye-contact broke, Octavia watched as Anya turned back towards Lincoln and shook his outstretched hand. When Anya turned her way again, Octavia could feel herself trembling, partly in anticipation, but there was a little anxiety too. She was relieved when Anya started to approach her, clearly trying to be cautious, sidling up to her slowly as she asked, “You ok?” Octavia was too confused by her own feelings to really make any sort of reply at first. Something had connected inside her when she first felt that wave of pheromones break-away from Anya’s skin. The fact that Anya had growled at Lincoln over her was an even bigger shock, but it was her own desire to be protected by Anya that really sent her for a loop. Something inside her told her that she liked that Anya felt that defensive over her. Startled out of her thoughts by a gentle hand on her forearm, Octavia blinked several times trying to focus. Anya was still there, of course, smirking as she asked again, “Hey… Are you ok?”

Swallowing hard Octavia managed to eke out, “Uh, yeah, yeah I’m ok,” before falling silent again When she didn’t continue though, Anya gave her a skeptical nudge and Octavia reiterated, “No really, I’m ok… I just— I didn’t think I would be that, uh, effected by, you know… you.”

Octavia could feel it when the fingers pressing lightly into forearm twitched. She looked up just as Anya asked, “What do you mean, effected?”

Gaping for a moment at Anya’s indirect directness, Octavia eventually stuttered and sputtered as she replied, “I— Uh, You, uh… Well, I’m usually so, yeah and you… just being you and I’m all…” She quickly quieted her rambling when she realized that she wasn’t getting anywhere and decided to take a breath before trying again, “I’m not some submissive little omega who’s just gonna roll over for the first alpha she sees. I’ve never been that girl… but something about you is drawing me in and I-I don’t want to admit it, but I like it. I like that you’re pulling me in.”

Anya’s smirk softened, and Octavia didn’t protest as Anya placed her hands onto her hips and started physically pulling her out onto the dance floor. She merely giggled at Anya’s literal interpretation of her words, but when Anya squeezed her hips and began moving to the music, Octavia couldn’t stop the way her breath hitched in her throat. Anya’s movements were hypnotizing, slower than the music implied, and even with Anya leading, Octavia struggled to find the beat. Anya was a great distraction, but surely some of her hesitation stemmed from how unfamiliar she was with the music. It was almost like the angry metal that Bellamy had listened to in his teenage years. It was driven by this deep bass beat though, one that pulsed more like the ‘Drum and Bass’ techno Octavia usually listened to during her workouts. The thing that confused her the most though, was that she couldn’t understand any of the words, in some Germanic or Slavic language that she couldn’t recognize.

It didn’t take her long to notice that Anya was watching her, checking in with her while also trying to lose herself in the beat. As the lights flashed and changed, she could see Anya lip-syncing along with the words, so she wrapped her arms around Anya’s neck and pulled her close. She had to shout to be heard over the music, simply, “What is he saying?” but Anya’s answer was more than worth a little strain on her vocal chords. Anya spun her around and another shiver raced down Octavia’s spine as Anya’s arms cradled her hips. When she felt Anya’s face dip down into the crook of her neck, she thought she might pass out. As Anya began to speak the words into her ear, Octavia giggled though, partly trying to fight off the way Anya’s breath made her skin tingle, but also because she couldn’t understand anything Anya was saying either. She tipped her face back towards Anya’s a little bit, calling out over her shoulder, hoping that Anya would hear her, “I can hear the words, silly! I just don’t know what they mean.”

Subconsciously leaning back into the embrace, Octavia sighed when Anya pulled her in tighter, arms gripping more firmly around her waist. It felt so right, Anya holding her so tightly from behind, swaying them both to the music. It felt even more natural when Anya dipped her head down back into the crook of her neck and began to sing along again, “Breathe for me, Love for me, and feel love, Love my love.” Octavia couldn’t help but blush at the words, thinking she might melt solely from Anya’s hot breath on her neck, must less the implications of her words. She felt a pair of lips brush her skin a second later though, and she wondered if Anya would need a mop and bucket just to get off the dance floor. She quickly dropped her head to the side, instinctually allowing Anya better access to her neck. She was rewarded with a couple more of those oh-so-sweet kisses before she felt Anya’s nose bury in against the side of her neck.

Nearly overwhelmed by Anya’s tenderness, Octavia nuzzled her face in against the side of Anya’s head, and after a steadying breath or two, she whispered right into Anya’s ear, “I could get used to this, you know? Breathing you in, breathing for you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song lyrics from this chapter are not mine, and I'd like to take a moment to mention the titles now, in case anyone is curious. From Clarke and Lexa's dance: Assemblage 23- Otherness, and from Octavia and Anya's: Wumpscut- Die Liebe. If you're unfamiliar with the industrial/synthpop scene, these are two good songs to google for a little reference.


	4. The Admissions

 

Typing her number into Lexa’s phone with shaky fingers, Clarke couldn’t help thinking, ‘How is this even happening?’ The thought didn’t gain much ground though, because when she went to hand the device back to Lexa, the alpha simply caught her fingers and interlaced them with her own again. It was like she couldn’t think straight, or even at all, when Lexa was touching her. The simple contact grounded her too however, and she sighed as their held hands came to rest on top of her thigh. They just sat there like that for a few moments and the time allowed Clarke to quietly ruminate over the past half an hour. At first, she had been just as excited as Octavia, but as they made their way into the club, Clarke easily could sense how distracted and tense Octavia had become. She briefly wondered if she should check on her friend, but then she might have to part from Lexa and her pre-heat brain definitely didn’t like that idea. She recognized that was probably just her omega instincts telling her to secure a partner for her impending heat, but that didn’t make her feel any less _heated_ for Lexa. She seemed like the total package; attractive and witty, strong and dominant, but not outwardly so. Not to mention the things Lexa’s scent was doing to her, making Clarke feel a little crazy, and more than a little wet. She squirmed at the thought but tried to keep her eyes fixed on their entwined hands, tried to let the contact soothe her. Lexa sighed beside her though, and she couldn’t help but look over at her, wondering if that was a good sound or a bad one. She started with Lexa’ face, trailing her eyes down over her features; her slightly furrowed brow, her sharp jawline, her chiseled collarbone, the soft skin of her arms and midriff. Inevitably though, Clarke chanced a little glance at Lexa’s groin and her brain sort of short circuited. She couldn’t believe Lexa was reacting so strongly to her, but after another second or two, it started to make sense. She was going into heat soon, and she knew that she’d have to find some way to deal with it. Lexa’s body was just giving her options.

Usually, the suppressants her mother got her, through her job at CCMC, were better than most, but Clarke couldn’t deny there was a growing part of her wanted to skip the suppressants and ride out her heat with what Lexa was offering her. She could feel herself getting more and more frantic as the seconds ticked by and when Clarke finally broke their silence, it all came out sort of garbled rush, “So I… yeah, we should probably… what with, uh, that?” She gestured towards the now very prominent bulge pressing against the inseam of Lexa’s tight jeans, praying that Lexa wouldn’t actually make her say what she meant. She tried not to look at Lexa’s crotch any longer than she had to too, not necessarily hoping the bulge would go away, but mostly she just wanted to be able to focus enough to get at least one complete sentence out before she devolved into madness. When she fixed her eyes of Lexa’s face though, Lexa was smiling shyly at her. The soft look made her feel more together, but Clarke still stuttered a little bit when she tried to continue, “I-I mean, I know that— that in female alpha biology, the body, uh, _adapts_ to create favorable reproductive conditions depending on the sex of their, uh, intended omega… I’ve just never, uh, never seen it happen before.”

Looking down at their entangled fingers again, Clarke tried to hide the blush she could feel heating her skin. Out of the corner of her eye however, she could still see the brief moment of shock that crossed Lexa’s face. She wanted to look up again, wanted to see what Lexa found so surprising about her words, but then Lexa spoke up, adopting a stately tone as she said, “That’s correct, Clarke. This only happens when I’m being called by an omega who is in heat. I have to be honest with you, this hasn’t happened to me in a long time, and never in public, and I-I’m s-sorry, for that.” Lexa drew in a steadying breath then, and Clarke could tell Lexa was very uncomfortable with the way her body was reacting, but she immediately wondered why Lexa felt sorry for it. It wasn’t like Clarke had any chill at the moment either. She gave Lexa’s hand a little reassuring squeeze, wanting her to know they were ok, and it seemed to be just the boost Lexa needed to push through the awkwardness. It was only another second before lexa softly added, “I usually have much better control over myself, but I admit I may be a little overwhelmed tonight. I, uh, I understand if you’re embarrassed, because I know I am.” Lexa took in another deep breath and it was easy to see that Lexa was ramping herself up towards something. It didn’t surprise Clarke when Lexa’s voice was even more tentative when she finally continued, “I… I hope you don’t mind me saying so, but if I ventured to guess, I would say you’re, what, two, maybe three, days out from your next heat. The way your scent is calling to me, I’d say this reaction was sort of, uh, inevitable.”

Clarke couldn’t help herself but to glance down again. Lexa’s bulge visibly twitched under her gaze, hard enough to move the fabric of her jeans a little bit. She had to fight down a groan at the sight, suddenly wanting to see what Lexa had to offer without all those clothes in the way. She reigned herself in though, because she barely knew Lexa, but that didn’t stop her hormones from continuing to rage under her skin. She looked back to Lexa’s face, trying to use Lexa’s soft gaze to ground herself again. Lexa squeezed her hand this time and, slightly startled, Clarke half-blurted out, “Well! I— I thought more like a week, but yeah, I can, uh, I can feel it too. Guess I’ll need to start taking my suppressants tomorrow...”

The torn look that crossed Lexa’s face held Clarke hostage for a moment; her eyes were dark with desire, but somehow, they were still soft and understanding. Lexa’s smile was soft too, but Clarke had to admit Lexa’s lips looked so supple and tempting as well. She licked her bottom lip subconsciously, mouth feeling suddenly dry. Lexa’s eyes instantly jumped toward the movement and Clarke could almost see what she was thinking. When Lexa started leaning in, Clarke didn’t pull back. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than for Lexa to kiss her. She got her wish too, Lexa slowly pressing forward, closing the distance between them until their lips finally brushed together.

Once, twice, three times, and Clarke felt like she was in heaven. Shee blinked with each kiss, not wanting to miss a moment, but eventually her eyes finally fluttered closed for good. When she felt Lexa stroking and cradling her cheeks with her hands, changing the angle of their kiss, she went along happily, sighing into Lexa’s mouth when their noses brushed together too. Lexa pulled back after one more kiss though, Lexa’s hands still holding her face to keep her from leaning forward for more. Clarke had to bite her own lip to keep from whimpering. All she could think was that Lexa was really, _really_ good at that. Clarke was sure Lexa was wearing a shit-eating grin at that point too, but she didn’t really care. Lexa could be as smug as she wanted to be, if she just kept kissing her like that. Lexa certainly seemed amused too though, as she half-jokingly asked, “So Clarke, what do you do when you’re not clubbing it up?”

Clarke finally opened her eyes then, blinking harshly at the rapid change of pace. When she realized Lexa was simply, genuinely, interested in knowing more about her, she smiled shyly as she said, “I— I’m an artist. I do charcoal and ink drawings mostly, but I paint and sculpt sometimes too.” Clarke noticed how Lexa’s expression softened as she spoke, Lexa obviously listening intently, filing away her details. When Clarke stopped to take a breath, Lexa just eyed her expectantly though, so she added, “Mostly, that means I work a day job. I’m the assistant manager of an art supply store, and really, I’m there just as much for the discount on art supplies, as I am the paycheck. I have a couple pieces at this little boutique gallery downtown and a couple others in the coffee shop around the corner from my apartment, but I don’t have, like, a solo show anywhere or anything. I mean, not right now anyway.”

Lexa beamed a sweet smile at her and Clarke tried not swoon as she said, “I’d love to see your work sometime… if you want to show me that is.”

Secretly, Clarke swooned anyway, though from the way Lexa was looking at her, Clarke figured maybe her swooning wasn’t that big of a secret. Clarke grinned right back at her though, trying to sound confident as she replied, “I would like that very much.” She paused for a long moment, looking over Lexa again, carefully avoiding Lexa’s still tented jeans, before she finally said, “So, let me guess… You’re a business type, right, an MBA or something like that?” Lexa’s smile quirked up at one side and her eyebrow raised at the suggestion. Obviously wrong, Clarke pursed her lips and guessed again, “Ok, so no MBA. You seem so self-assured though… maybe a cop?”

Lexa shook her head a little, smiling wider as she said, “Nope, that’s Anya. She works security for a living. Bartending’s just a thing she gets dragged into every now and then.” A little disappointed, Clarke tried to push the idea of Lexa in a uniform out of her mind. She was sure it showed on her face though, when Lexa goaded, “So that’s two wrong guesses… Got any more?”

Narrowing her eyes at Lexa’s tone, Clarke considered letting it go, but something in the back of her mind told her that Lexa’s bravado was just that, and so she pressed, “Hmmm, I bet you don’t have a job and that’s why this so funny for you…”

Lexa opened her mouth to reply, but she paused, and Clarke instantly cursed herself for seeming so harsh and insensitive. Maybe Lexa didn’t have a job, maybe that what was wrong with this seemingly perfect alpha. Clarke was about to apologize but then Lexa finally replied, “Well, actually for the moment, I guess, technically, I am unemployed.” Clarke’s eyebrows raised slightly, surprised that Lexa would admit something like that so easily, but then Lexa quickly amended herself, “Or, maybe self-employed is a better way to put it. You’re right though… I don’t have a ‘ _regular_ ’ job.” Clarke smirked when Lexa pulled her hands away long enough to make some air quotes, before quickly taking her hands into her own again. It was one of the most adorable things Clarke had ever seen, and she smiled as Lexa continued to explain, “I’m a DJ, but I don’t have a main venue or anything, not right now anyway.” Clarke flinched slightly when Lexa parroted her earlier words back at her, but Lexa simply winked at her as she pressed on, “For now, I’m mostly just working on my own mixes in my studio at home. I’ve got some solo stuff up online, but that’s not really going anywhere. As for how I pay the bills, a couple of years back, I sold a couple of samples. One ended up in a pop song, and even though the song is old news now, those royalty checks still keep coming in.” Lexa hesitated for a moment, and Clarke thought she was done talking, but then a dark look crossed Lexa’s face and she stuttered as she said, “I, uh, I used to headline here too, but— but some stuff happened, and I-I had to leave.”

Scrunching her brow at Lexa’s obvious discomfort, Clarke didn’t want to pressure her, but she thought if she pushed just a little, Lexa might open up to her. “You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, but I’d like to think that I’ll be a good listener, if you do,” Clarke whispered as she dipped her head slightly, trying to get Lexa to look back up at her. Eventually, when their eyes meet, Clarke couldn’t stop herself from closing the narrow distance between them that time, taking Lexa’s lips in a kiss so sweet it couldn’t be anything but reassuring.

Lexa’s smile returned, even if it was still a little sad, and Clarke squeezed her fingers as Lexa took another deep breath. Seeming steadier, Lexa stammered only once when she finally said, “I—I headlined as the mainstage DJ here every night, Wednesday through Sunday for almost two years. I was an up and coming DJ, in the scene anyway, but eventually I started to attract a pretty big crowd. When I sold those first two samples, my life seemed like it was going great. I had a job I enjoyed and I had money for the first time in my life and I had…” Clarke watched Lexa falter, only for a moment, before she quickly composed herself and continued, “It was like I finally had everything I ever wanted, until—” Lexa’s voice broke again, and all Clarke could do was wait patiently, holding Lexa’s hand tightly in her own as Lexa dragged in a long, ragged breath. She thought about stopping her, thought about telling Lexa she didn’t have to explain herself, but before she could, she heard Lexa whisper, “—until I, I lost Costia.”

An uneasy silence settled over them for just a moment, but then Lexa looked up and met her eyes again, and Clarke hoped Lexa would find nothing but warmth and affection there. She squeezed Lexa’s hand again as Lexa struggled through with what came next, “She— she died, and I really almost died right along with her… We’d, uh, we’d known each other our whole lives, friends since grade school. It took us a long time to get there, but our junior year in college, we finally figured out what we really were to each other. We exchanged marks later that same year. Really, it seemed like the rest would be history, that we would be together forever, but just three short years later…”

Lexa’s voice trailed off again and Clarke could see the way Lexa was choking on the sob threatening to break from her lips. Clarke just tried to stay quiet and keep an understanding look on her face. When Lexa revealed she had once had a mate, Clarke’s heart had sunk though, and she was sure it showed all over her face. Clarke knew all about loss however, and as she watched Lexa shake, she felt like if Lexa broke, she might break right along with her. Lexa was obviously strongly willed, if she survived the death of her former mate, but she was acutely aware of how uncomfortable Lexa looked. Wanting to give her new ‘friend’ an out, Clarke simply squeezed Lexa’s hand in her own once again and said, “Lexa, thank you for sharing that with me, but you don’t have to say anything else, if you’re not ok with it.”

Lexa just shook her head slowly side to side and replied, “No, I need to tell you. You need to know just how broken I am before you decide whether I’m worth fixing or not.”

Clarke drew in a sharp breath, utter confusion causing her to gasp for breath, even as she quickly blurted out, “What?!” When Lexa just kept looking at her like she was about to fall apart, Clarke kept going, “Lexa, you are definitely worth it; you’ve been through too much to not be. And… and, you are not broken, you’re just hurting. I mean, it’s ok to not be ok, you know?” She brought her hands up to cup Lexa’s face in her palms and turned Lexa’s eyes back up to her own. Looking deep into Lexa’s dark eyes, she said, “I see so much in you, strength and softness, pain and hope, drive and desire. I know we barely know each other, but I really hope you want to let me in.”

Lexa blushed slightly and smiled, obviously effected by the kind words, and Clarke smiled then too. Lexa looked a little more confident wearing that smile, but Clarke as still a little surprised when Lexa choked out, “O—Ok, but, just bear with me a minute, ok?” Clarke simply nodded sweetly, and Lexa cast her gaze down again, taking several deep breaths before she finally spoke again, “Costia had been sick for about week when she finally decided to go to the doctor and get checked out. She was walking back to our apartment after her appointment when she was— was abducted. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that I even realized something was wrong. It started with this heavy, sinking feeling in my stomach, but as time went on, I felt this pain, a tearing in my chest, and then a blaring migraine too. Eventually, it felt like my skin was literally going to burn off. The pain peaked, searing and blinding and horrible, but then… then it just stopped, everything stopped, just like that.” Clarke didn’t even have time to protest when Lexa withdrew her hand from her grasp, only long enough to snap her fingers to emphasize her point, but Clarke smiled softly when Lexa rushed to get her hand back against her skin again. “But… but where I had felt whole and warm before, I just felt empty, so utterly empty. I immediately called Costia’s phone and when someone else answered the call, I didn’t I know what to think at first. The voice over the phone was raspy and harsh and the things that they said… I think maybe I blacked out for part of it. All I really remember is the sound of that cruel, cackled laughter and the words, “Maybe, I should send you a picture, so you can see the look on her face.”

Clarke listened dutifully through Lexa’s choked words, but when the brunette winced around her final ones, Clarke huffed and threw her arms around the all-but-sobbing alpha. Lexa sputtered into her neck and shoulder and Clarke couldn’t believe Lexa was still trying to explain what happened. She just rubbed her hands over Lexa’s back until Lexa finally quieted down. Clarke released her tight hold and pulled back, only enough to get a look at Lexa’s face. It was red and splotchy, still riddled with guilt and regret and when she drew in a breath like she was going to speak again Clarke tried to shush her, but Lexa just shook her head again and said, “That’s not all of it. I need t-to finish.” Clarke took Lexa into her arms once again, and after a minute or two, Lexa choked the rest out into her shoulder, “They— They found her in one of the old warehouses in the Azgeda Industrial Park. She… she’d been violated and beaten almost beyond recognition. She was barely clinging to life when she was loaded into the ambulance. Th-They did their best, but I knew she was never going to wake up, that she wasn’t in there anymore. I really didn’t want to believe it, but I knew I had felt it. I felt the pain of her death like it was my own. She made it to the hospital, but after a couple hours of waiting, the surgeon finally came and told me there was nothing else they could do for her, or… or the b-baby she was carrying.” Lexa opened her mouth like she was going keep speaking, but no words came out and eventually she sagged, defeatedly, against Clarke’s shoulder, gasping for breath.

Clarke’s heart bottomed out at the revelation that Costia had been pregnant. She squeezed Lexa tight again and breathed, “Lexa, I can’t even imagine what that must have been like, God, what that still must feel like for you.”

Clarke’s tender words and breath against her neck seemed to pull Lexa back to the present. She sighed into their embrace and said, “I never— I never told anyone else about the baby, not even Anya. I don’t know why, really, I just didn’t want to acknowledge it, you know, hoping that that would make it less real. I lost my mate, and my child, in the same moment, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it and I guess I just needed something about the whole situation that I actually could control.”

Sinking into their embrace, Clarke wanted to offer Lexa as much comfort as she could manage. Thinking Lexa didn’t need to be alone in her grief, she decided if Lexa trusted her enough to tell her all that, she could certainly tell Lexa about her own loss. She squeezed Lexa tight against her before she began to speak again, “I’ve lost someone too, m-my dad, when I was 17. I watched, as he took his last breath. I thought I’d never get over it, that I’d never be able to get past it. It was almost seven years ago, but it still feels like yesterday. I’m not saying that what I felt really compares to losing a mate, but I’m really glad you trusted me enough to tell me about Costia anyway.”

Lexa sighed heavily at that, and Clarke thought it sounded more relieved than sad, so that was something. When Lexa started whispering to her again, Clarke couldn’t help but smile, “Thank you for listening, Clarke. I… I guess I didn’t know how much I needed to get that out until it started flowing. I’ve been to a couple support groups, but I’ve never shared that much of my story, of myself, with any of those people.”

Clarke’s emotions swelled again at Lexa’s heartfelt gratitude, and her smile widened as she replied, “I’m so happy I could be here for you.”

When she saw Lexa smiling again, Clarke felt an understanding pass between them; they could be there for each other, if they would both just let it happen. Clarke was about to ask if there was anything else Lexa felt like she needed to say, but Lexa just shook her head a little and said, “Ok, ok… Enough with the heavy, yeah? Why don’t we get another drink and try to have some fun? I promise I’m not this depressing all the time.” Clarke wasn’t about to argue with that logic, and she nodded vigorously as she stood, pulling Lexa up by their entangled fingers. Lexa came along easily too, maybe a little too easily, and when their lips met again, Clarke smiled into it, thankful that that part of their connection was intact. It didn’t last very long, but Clarke was still smiling when Lexa pulled away. She couldn’t help the way she chased those lips either, wanting to feel their softness pressing against her skin over and over. Lexa chuckled, startling Clarke out of her revelry, but when she opened her eyes and saw the dark desire in Lexa’s eyes, she knew Lexa was thinking about kissing her again too.

Resisting that urge was harder than she thought it would be, but when Lexa started leading her inside, Clarke followed. She didn’t let go of Lexa’s hand however, because if she couldn’t keep kissing her, she certainly wasn’t going to give up holding her hand. Once they were inside, Lexa beelined for the bar, and Clarke thought it was a little funny the way the crowd seemed to part in front them. She saw a few people looking at Lexa as they passed, and then appraising their entwined hands, but Clarke didn’t really think much of it. When they reached the bar, Anya was nowhere to be seen, and there was a goofy faced guy was in her place. When he finished with the patrons he was helping, he turned to them, a beaming smile on his face. He and Lexa obviously knew each other, but the way the guy was talking, so excitedly, Clarke assumed they hadn’t seen each other in a while. Clarke contented herself to watch their conversation rather than try to butt in. After a minute or two, Lexa finally turned to her and asked, “Shots or Drinks?”

Carefully weighing those options, Clarke only took a moment before she replied, “Drinks.” Truly, she wanted a shot, but she knew that would only get her drunker faster, and the night was still pretty young. ‘Pace yourself,’ she thought as Lexa turned back to the lanky bartender to order their drinks. Clarke couldn’t help but watch the way Lexa’s skin flexed over her subtle muscles, the way her clothes seemed tailored to her every move. She looked Lexa up and down and only snapped back to reality when an iced mojito slid across the bar towards her.

Clarke’s eyes shot up to meet Lexa’s, as Lexa said, “You had white rum earlier, so I assumed mojito… Is that alright?”

She grinned at Lexa then, not even trying to hide how Lexa’s attention made her feel. Lexa was clearly very observant, and that was a trait that Clarke was sure would come in handy later on. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about how helpful that attentive nature would be when Lexa started touching her in more interesting places than just her hand or her face. Lexa smirked back at her though, and Clarke knew instantly she’d been caught with her mind in the gutter. Giving her head a little shake, Clarke tried to make herself focus on the present again, and only after Lexa gave her hand another squeeze, did she finally say, “Yes… I love mojitos. Thank you.” She tried to think of something else to say, some prolific thing that would cover her embarrassment, but all she could come up with was a quote from an old poem she knew. She figured it was as good as anything else she might come up with though, and she tipped her glass to Lexa in a toast as she said, “Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always!”

 

~~~

 

When Raven finally retook her stool, Abby was perfectly content to simply sit and enjoy the omega’s presence for a moment. She wasn’t really sure what would happen next between Raven and herself, but Abby quickly decided she was glad she had chosen to join Anya and Lexa that night. She was glad she had even given herself the opportunity. Some part of her knew it was wrong, flirting with Raven, a girl nearly young enough to be her daughter, but then she looked over and saw the relaxed, happy expression on Raven’s face. It was like she was exactly where she was supposed to be. She knew that she didn’t want to disturb the moment, but she also knew she needed to make up for their earlier miscommunication. She wasn’t really very good at apologies, so instead she said, “So, obviously, I kind of stuck my foot in my mouth about your brace, but if you’d like to tell me about it, I swear I won’t run away.”

Raven turned to her then, and the look she found in Raven’s eyes had her thinking that she had done it again, had insulted Raven in some way, but then Raven brightened a little. Abby nearly sighed in relief when Raven finally replied, “Uh, I mean, it was a long time ago, and I feel kinda foolish still being so sensitive about it, but I— I was in a bike accident in high school…” The way Raven paused Abby knew that there had to be more to it than that. She simply waited for Raven to continue, trying to be casual as she took Raven’s hand into her own again. It felt too good holding Raven’s hand to deny herself the connection. She watched the muscles of Raven’s throat strain as she swallowed. It took a considerable amount of willpower to not reach out and touch Raven then, just to feel those muscles move. Before the idea could take root though, Raven finally continued, “I shattered my left hip, broke a couple ribs… got a pretty nasty concussion too. My head cleared pretty quickly, and the bones eventually healed too. My hip still isn’t perfect, but at least it works. That’s more than I can say for further down though. The nerve damage, that’s a—well, it’ll never get better. I can’t feel anything below the knee in my left leg…” Raven paused again but Abby stayed quiet, knowing that still wasn’t the end of it. She smiled softly as Raven took in a deep breathe, holding it in for a second before she explained, “The brace keeps my knee and ankle at a good angle to support my weight while I walk, but mostly I just end up shuffling to get around. It’s a good design though.” She gestured to it, almost shyly and Abby took the invitation for what it was and finally looked down to take in the brace. She couldn’t see a brand name on it anywhere, but Abby could tell it was of very good quality, likely made of titanium or some other light-weight metal. When Raven inhaled slowly again, Abby quickly refocused herself, bringing her eyes back up to watch Raven’s face as she spoke, “At least that’s what my physical therapist tells me. Ten years later and I still go three times a week. It helps, but only to keep the muscles moving and help with blood flow.” Raven worried her lip for a moment, hesitating to continue, so Abby gave her hand a little reassuring squeeze. When Raven looked up to meet her eyes, Abby smiled understandingly as she said, “Full disclosure, my doctor has brought up the possibility of amputation, I just really don’t want to lose my leg, you know. I kinda need them both.”

Abby couldn’t help but smile at the way Raven seemed more upset at the idea losing her leg than the possibility of losing her life from blood clots or some other complication. She shook her head though, trying to just be herself and not ‘Dr. Griffin.’ With all the understanding she could muster, Abby said, “I didn’t mean to seem insensitive about it before. I really— I didn’t even see it, at first.” Abby’s skin flushed slightly as she glanced over Raven’s body again, attempting to actually look at the brace again, but her gaze got caught up in a few places on her way down.

When her eyes paused for a second too long at Raven’s breasts, she heard Raven chuckle, but Abby couldn’t help herself. Raven was a beautiful omega, and Abby wasn’t going to shy away from that just because she felt a little embarrassed. Raven seemed to be fully aware of her staring too, and when Raven teasingly rolled her hips forward, Abby heard Raven laugh even harder. That was maybe because Abby’s head wiggled a little too, eyes following the rolling movement like a hawk tracking its prey. Abby jerked her head up though when she felt Raven’s hand cup her jaw. Her face was flushed to a deep crimson, she was sure of it, but instead of being embarrassed by it further, Abby just owned her desire and alluringly said, “I mean, you obviously haven’t let it slow you down.” She winked too, and when Raven blushed as well, she silently congratulated herself. It was incredible realizing how special Raven already was to her. Even after having been through so much, Raven seemed to be flourishing, and that only made Abby want to know more. She adopted a slightly more serious tone as she continued, “I guess what I’m trying to say is… your brace only bothers me because it bothers you. All I see when I look at you is you. No preconceived notions, no expectations, just a beautiful, strong young woman… one I would very much like to know better.”

Biting her lip, Abby almost tried to take the words back, thinking that maybe she was being to forward, but then Raven squeezed her hand and Abby sighed. She smiled too, when Raven quickly looked down and mumbled, “Thanks. I— I’m not really sure that I can believe you didn’t notice my brace though. It’s the first place everyone looks… but thanks for saying so anyway.”

Abby gave Raven her best, most incredulous look then, as she teased, “Well, what would I have to do to make you believe me, huh?” Just then, the music that had almost faded into the background shifted, and Abby got an idea, immediately asking, “How about this… Dance with me?” She didn’t wait for a response, quickly standing and holding out her hand for Raven to take. She could see the hesitation written all over Raven’s face as Raven just stared at her outstretched hand. Not giving up, Abby quickly added, “Just one song, and if you aren’t comfortable or you don’t like it, we can stop.”

Fearing she was about to be turned down, Abby watched as Raven shrugged, obviously biding her time. Which meant, it was a total surprise when Raven finally said, “Well, if you insist, who am I to argue.” Abby thought for a second that Raven was going to change her mind, still hesitating to take her hand, but eventually Raven took the offering. Abby smiled as she pulled Raven up to her feet. The momentum caused Raven to sway a little, favoring her braced leg, but Abby immediately compensated, wrapping an arm around Raven’s waist to pull her into her side. They strolled together then, and Abby marveled at how they fit against each other. She dropped into stride with Raven so easily, supporting just enough of Raven’s weight to make it easier for Raven to walk, hopefully without seeming too presumptuous.

When they reached the dance floor, Abby took the lead, slowly pulling Raven closer into her body, helping support more of Raven’s shifting weight with each step. The beat wasn’t so fast that they couldn’t keep up, but Abby noticed that Raven’s movements were still a little jerky and stilted. She gently encouraged Raven to encircle her neck with her arms and that helped. It was when Abby’s hands found Raven’s waist that they really started to move together though. She was too wrapped up in the feeling of Raven pressed against her to comprehend the song they were dancing to, but one line from the chorus really resonated with her. By the time the song was coming to a close, she found herself absently singing along, “For way too long… I’ve been merely a shadow of my true self… I’m in despair… I’m beyond repair...”

Raven’s arms tightened around her neck, bringing Abby back into the moment. She focused just in time too, sighing as Raven buried her face in against the side of her neck. Abby didn’t even think about asking if it was alright for them to continue. The way Raven was holding her was all Abby cared about. When the music shifted smoothly into the next song, Abby shifted with it, moving her hands down to bracket Raven’s hips. The new song was a little faster than the last one though, and after only a few beats, Abby felt Raven falter. Her hands immediately moved to wrap around Raven’s back, trying to stabilize Raven’s footing. Raven sighed against her neck then, and Abby couldn’t stop herself from returning the gesture. She pressed her nose in right behind Raven’s ear and breathed in deep. She was almost overwhelmed by Raven’s succulent scent, but she managed to control herself. She brought her hand up to cup around Raven’s ear, so she could be heard when she whispered, “Don’t worry, honey… I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall.”

More of Raven’s weight slumped into her frame, and Abby sighed, feeling Raven’s trust flowing into her everywhere their bodies touched. She accepted it happily too, changing their rhythm so they were moving at half-speed; at least, compared to the few other people on the dance floor. Abby twirled them around then, managing to lift Raven completely off the floor for one rotation before settling her back onto the floor again. The way Raven clutched desperately at the back of her neck, Abby was sure she had genuinely surprised Raven. She was thrilled when Raven squeaked against her neck at the motion. Abby relished in the sound, and began gently swaying with Raven in her arms, pulling Raven flush against her once more.

With Raven’s face still nuzzled into the crook of her neck, Abby wasn’t sure how long they danced, but she also wasn’t really sure she cared. Eventually though, Raven sighed, and it wasn’t the same contented, happy sigh Abby had heard before. Abby knew she was pushing her luck with Raven’s leg then, so she pressed her mouth back in close to Raven’s ear and said, “See, I told you… Your leg only bothers me because it bothers you. I’m not going to freak out and run away, ok?” Raven nodded against the side of her, and Abby smiled as she teasingly added, “Well, maybe only to the bar for another drink… Care to join me?”

Raven pulled back a little then and when their eyes meet, Abby could tell Raven was grateful she was suggesting a break. She didn’t think Raven would ever admit it though, so Abby didn’t bring it up. She simply pulled back a little too, leaving one arm wrapped behind Raven’s back as they made their way back to the bar. Abby quickly scanned the bar and was surprised to find it much more crowded than it had been before. There was still one stool left however, and she headed right for it. She pulled out the stool and gestured for Raven to sit. Raven’s face turned a little indignant, and Abby couldn’t help but shake her head, as she helped Raven into the stool.

Watching the bartender help another customer, Abby absently slipped her arm around the back of Raven’s stool and leaned against it. It was only when Raven’s arm snaked around behind her, Raven’s hand gripping at her opposite hip, that Abby realized how close they had become. It was like now that she had been so close to Raven her body wasn’t going to let them be separated anymore than it had to.

Eventually the bartender got around to them, smiling and nodding as he took their order. It only took him a moment before he returned with a beer for Raven, because she’d said she wanted to slow down a little. He had a shot of rum and a bottled water for Abby too, because while she wanted one more, she didn’t want to have to drink a whole beer to get it. Abby barely had time to down her shot and popped the top off of her water before another patron wiggled their way in beside her. The bar was already crowded, so Abby slipped even closer to Raven as she reached into her pocket for some cash. She quickly handed it across to the bartender, telling him to keep the change. It was only another second or two before she heard the woman beside her shouting, “Two tequila shots and two waters.” Raven shifted against her at those words, and Abby immediately looked down to find Raven sitting slightly forward, peering over her shoulder with wide eyes. The next thing she heard was, “OH! Hey! Rae! So, this is where you’ve been hiding!”

Abby stiffened at words, suddenly, _finally_ , putting two and two together. She’d heard that nickname before. One of Clarke’s roommates was named Ray. She couldn’t really remember whether she had ever heard Clarke say Ray’s full name, but Abby had always assumed it was short for some pseudo-country name, like Sally Ray or Billy Ray. She’d never met Ray before; now that she thought about it, Abby realized she had never met either one of her daughter’s roommates. That fact probably made her a terrible mother, but apparently that oversight had been finally rectified. Not once had she thought Ray would be short for Raven. That is, until she heard it in Raven’s presence. That combined with what Raven had said earlier, about being at Polaris celebrating a friend’s birthday, and Abby finally connected all the dots. Clarke and her roommates were out celebrating a birthday and Raven was one of those roommates. Mortified, Abby thought, ‘Shit! This can’t be happening… I’ve been making moves Clarke’s best friend!’

Desperately trying to remain relaxed, Abby knew she wasn’t doing a good job. Surely, Raven could feel the tension rising inside her muscles. Abby couldn’t help herself though, feeling more and more uncomfortable the longer they stood there. Her fingers twitched against Raven’s shoulder, but Abby tried to act natural as she started to pull away. She was relieved when Raven didn’t try to stop her, leaning around her further instead, obviously intent on addressing her friend, “Wasn’t hiding, O. I was mingling, actually. Abby, this is Octavia. O, this is my new _friend_ , Abby.”

Abby cringed when Raven clearly emphasized the word ‘friend,’ obviously implying that she wanted them to more than just friends, but that intention didn’t stop Abby from pulling farther away from Raven. She quickly turned to greet Octavia, before Raven could protest anyway. “Pleasure to meet you, Octavia, and let me just say, Happy Birthday,” Abby said, cordially. She extended her hand, albeit awkwardly, towards the younger woman.

Octavia’s eyebrows crinkled a little as she took Abby’s hand and Abby knew instantly that Raven’s friend didn’t necessarily approve of her. Octavia’s clipped reply only reinforced that assumption, “You too, and thank you.”

The silence that fell after that was excruciating. It was short, but so painful that Abby felt an overwhelming urge to just get the hell out of there. The only thing that held her back was that she didn’t want to be rude. She bit her lip for a second and turned back to Raven, dipping her head down to get closer to Raven’s ear as she said, “I’m just gonna let you two catch up, ok?”

Abby could see it; Raven’s heart sank. She almost couldn’t look at her as Raven faked a smile and nodded. When Raven quietly asked, “You’re coming back, right?” Abby thought she might be sick. She had told Raven she wouldn’t run away, and yet, here she was doing just that. She couldn’t do this either though; she couldn’t stay, no matter how badly she wanted to. Flirting with Raven had been one thing, when Raven had just been some omega in her 20’s, but now… knowing who Raven really was, Raven was just off limits, period.

She couldn’t bring herself to lie to Raven though, and just smiled a little sad smile before turning to Octavia and saying, “Please excuse me… I’m just going to use the restroom.” She tried to sound polite, tried to muster her best fake smile, but the grimace on Octavia’s face let her know she had failed miserably. Rather than continue to embarrass herself further, she quickly skirted around Octavia and made a break for the hallway. She didn’t care where she was going as long as it was away from the sad look on Raven’s face.

 

~~~

 

Dancing with Octavia was so hypnotizing that Anya lost all track of time. The song had changed at least seven times, but with how intoxicated Anya felt it could have been twenty. She couldn’t even blame the five beers she’d had, most of that had been sweated out already. She had to admit she appreciated Octavia’s stamina though, Anya herself breathing heavy, whereas Octavia seemed like she could do this for hours. There was only the slightest sheen of sweat coating Octavia’s skin, and while Anya would like to think she had some control over herself, there were definitely smears through that sheen where her lips had been. Octavia’s scent was delicious, salty and sweet, almost like pickle brine, but mostly it just made Anya think of the ocean. Her skin tasted like that too, if maybe a little saltier, but it was a flavor Anya could easier see herself becoming addicted to.

The song changed and then changed again before really felt herself tiring, but the new beat was one Anya knew all too well. She didn’t want to, but she dipped her head down to Octavia’s ear for what felt like the millionth time in the last half hour or so and whispered, “This one’s kind of a solo thing, that ok?”

Feeling Octavia shiver against her made Anya smile, loving the way that just her breath on Octavia’s ear could make the omega tremble. Octavia spun in her arms though, and Anya was surprised when Octavia pressed up on her toes and kissed her cheek. A little dazed by the sweet gesture, Anya barely got the chance to return the kiss before Octavia bounced away, a little too happily. She was even less sure what that was about, but as the music swirled around her, she didn’t give it much thought. The song was so easy to lose herself in, she’d done it more times than she could count; it was one of her favorites. Despite any lingering fatigue, before she knew it, Anya was stomping and thrashing, yelling along with the song. The aggressive pheromones that were rolling over her assured her a wide berth from the other patrons on the floor, but she gave the others space as well; all moving together, but separate. Her eyes absently searched the crowd though, scanning every few seconds, looking for Octavia. The vain part of her wanted to know if Octavia was watching. It wasn’t until towards the end of the song she finally caught sight of the little brunette, sitting on one of the couches along the opposite wall from her.

Octavia was definitely watching her too, and if the hungry look in her eyes was any indication, Octavia was enjoying her little performance. Anya almost walked off the dance floor right then, when she saw Octavia seductively trace her tongue over her upper lip. The way Octavia was squirming in her seat told Anya that she should stay on the floor though, just to see how worked up she could get Octavia without even being within touching range. The music changed, the new song a little slower and more sinuous than the last, and although it wasn’t one that Anya recognized, she fell in with the new beat almost seamlessly. She turned away from Octavia then, continuing to move to the music, absorbing all that was going on around her, drawing from it. It was heady feeling, knowing Octavia was watching her. It made her feel like it didn’t matter who else was watching, because all that mattered was Octavia’s eyes on her. Eventually, she turned back, wanting to see that dark look in Octavia’s eyes again. What she found was even better. Octavia was teetering on the edge on her seat, biting her bottom lip hard enough that the flesh under her teeth had turned white from the pressure. Anya thought she looked like a great cat ready to pounce. Unable to resist, Anya slipped off the dance floor when the music changed again, sauntering her way over to Octavia.

The way Octavia was just staring at her as she approached made Anya feel hot all over, but she pushed down on the feeling as she nodded towards the empty seat next to Octavia, silently asking if she could sit down. Octavia nodded furiously and scooted a little closer to the opposite arm to make more room for her. Anya slid into the seat next to her and she was immediately thankful Octavia had selected the one couch that was situated behind the speakers. The loud music was great when you wanted to lose yourself in it, but it wasn’t good for much else. Once she was settled, it was only a moment before Octavia was crawling across her lap, knees moving to bracket her hips. Normally, Anya wouldn’t allow an omega she was planning on taking to bed such control, but when Octavia snuggled in against her front, Anya just settled her hands on Octavia’s hips and pulled her in a little closer. She quickly realized Octavia wasn’t seeking control, she was offering a form of submission, because then Octavia turned her head up to place a sweet kiss to the underside of her jaw. Anya’s fingers twitched against Octavia’s hips, but she fought against her instincts to pull Octavia closer and closer. When Octavia’s lips started to trail up her jaw towards her ear, she couldn’t hold in her groan when Octavia’s hot breath cascaded over her pulse point. Octavia shivered at the sound and Anya nearly groaned again just to Octavia quiver again, but then Octavia’s voice called out softly next to her ear, “You do work out, right? ‘Cause if you look like that and you don’t, then I must be doing something very wrong.”

Chuckling, Anya pulled back a little, encouraging Octavia to look in her eyes as she replied, “Of course I work out… five or six times a week, most weeks.” She wasn’t sure Octavia really wanted to hear all about her workout routine, but the expectant expression looking back at her signaled to Anya that she should elaborate, so she straightforwardly added, “I do push-ups, pull-ups and sit-ups every morning and I alternate cardio and weight training at the gym four nights a week. I take a kickboxing class once a week, too, but I skipped that this week. I figured I’d get enough of a work out on the dance floor tonight to make up for it.” She thought about making some vague innuendo about the possibility of the two of them ‘working out’ together later, but instead she smirked as she said, “I mean, I eat whatever I want, whenever I want… You think I’d look like this if I didn’t work out?” She winked at Octavia when she paused, squeezing onto Octavia’s hips for emphasis. The little gasping sound that escaped Octavia’s lips definitely didn’t escape Anya’s attention.

Growing bolder by the second, Anya slid her hands down, inching them lower, until eventually she was cupping the most perfect ass she’d ever felt. Her fingers twitched involuntarily, her instincts telling her to pull Octavia as close as she could get her, and she almost groaned again, as Octavia’s firm muscles gave under the pressure of her fingers. Unable to stop herself, she squeezed a little harder, and suddenly, Octavia blurted out, “Ah, aH, And, what gym do you go to?”

Anya smiled proudly, both at her membership to her fairly exclusive gym, but also at just how easily she could fluster Octavia. She gave up her firmer grip, until she was just cupping Octavia’s cheeks again as she confidently replied, “I’ve been a member of Gona Kru for about six years now. It’s only about two blocks from my place, so that’s convenient, but it’s a good gym, too. Nobody’s there to get ripped with meaningless muscles. It’s a lot of private security types and ex-military folks like me, a couple MMA fighters too.”

A little shiver ran through Octavia as she spoke, but Anya just chalked it up to where her hands were still resting. It was only a moment though before Octavia replied, obviously trying to seem casual as she said, “Oh yeah? Ontari Ecke trains there, right?”

Raising an eyebrow at how specific the question was, Anya thought maybe Octavia was a fan of Ontari’s and was just curious about her, so she answered without hesitation, “Yeah, I’ve seen her around. I even got the chance to spar with her once. She’s good, like really good. Kicked my ass, anyway...”

The sudden tension that rose up under her hands alarmed Anya a little. Something about what she had just said made Octavia anxious, but before Anya could question her about it, Octavia simply spat, “Well, that’s good to know, ‘cause I’m fighting her at the Mount Weather Invitational in three weeks. My first pro fight and it has to be against her!”

Anya didn’t know what to do with that new information. She had thought Octavia might be an MMA fan, but the thought of Octavia being a fighter didn’t even occur to her. Sure, she could tell Octavia worked out, probably as much or more than she did herself, but Anya didn’t think she could imagine the little omega straddling her lap that violent and aggressive. Now that Anya thought about it though, there was that almost predatory gleam in Octavia’s eyes earlier, a heat and fire that Anya knew wouldn’t be easily put out. After a few more moments of swimming in her own thoughts, mostly about the way Octavia’s eyes had shined, Anya realized Octavia was still nervously anticipating her reaction, expecting her to say _something_ at least. She caught Octavia’s eye as she finally said, “Well, I could give you the inside tips if you want. I’ve seen her practice a bunch of times. I wouldn’t mind being your spy.”

Delighted when Octavia blushed a little, Anya smiled as Octavia burrowed back into her chest, clearly trying to hide her flushed skin. Anya let her too, pleased that she’d managed to say something right. They just sat there like that for a minute, Anya allowing Octavia to collect herself, until Octavia eventually said, “Yeah, that’s ok, but if I’m gonna win I want it to be because I’m the better fighter, not because I got the inside scoop… but, uh, thanks anyway.”

Now that the conversation had turned slightly more serious, and decidedly less sexy, Anya started to feel a little weird about still having her hands cupping Octavia’s ass. When she started to move her hands up to the more innocent area of Octavia’s lower back though, Octavia whimpered softly, rolling her hips. Anya immediately moved them back down, knowing instantly what Octavia wanted. She gave a little extra firm squeeze when her hands settled again, causing Octavia to groan. The sound nearly tore a similar sound from Anya, but instead she simply smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Octavia’s head before she asked genuinely, “Well, where do you train, then?”

Octavia wiggled against her lap a little bit, clearly bristling with pride as she said, “I’ve been training with Echo Lagun at Skai’s The Limit for about two and a half years now. She’s been a great mentor. She had quite the fight record too… 18-2-1 when she retired. She started Skai’s after that. That was probably six years ago, but I’ve only been training there about three years… Yeah, three years in December.”

Anya couldn’t help but to find Octavia’s rambling adorable, chuckling at the huge smile on Octavia’s face. Octavia’s enthusiasm was contagious too. Anya could feel herself getting just as excited, but then her whole body tensed in surprise when she realized, “Wait! You’ve been doing MMA since you were 18?!”

Octavia chuckled this time, but Anya just pursed her lips in mock impatience until Octavia eventually explained, “Actually, I had my first amateur fight at 16. See, my brother pretty much raised me. I mean, we spent some time in the system, but he’s pretty much always been there for me. Our mom… she, uh, she died in childbirth, having me... she— she never even got to hold me.” Anya watched as Octavia’s emotions started to run higher and higher, not sure what to say, but when Octavia paused to drink in a huge breath of air, Anya simply held her until she was ready to continue, “I don’t even know why I’m said that. I’m sure you don’t need to know my whole life’s story.”

Smiling as Octavia shyly dipped her head, Anya squeezed her ass one last time before she finally moved her hands back up. she didn’t stop at Octavia’s hips though, bringing them all the way up so she could cup Octavia’s other cheeks as she said, “Octavia, I wanna know anything you wanna tell me, but if you don’t want to do this now, we don’t have to. I’m ok just sitting with you… or we could dance some more if you want.”

The soft smile she received from Octavia at that, was everything to Anya. She could tell Octavia already trusted her, and Anya listened closely as Octavia continued with her story. “We bounced around the foster system after that, but at least we stayed together, that is until Bellamy aged out. He went off and joined the military. It wasn’t so bad though, because the first thing he did when he got out was come back for me… adopted me and everything. He was hesitant at first when I told him I wanted to get into MMA. He said he didn’t want me getting hurt, but I begged and begged. Eventually, he agreed to pay for some weekly boxing training and some Muay Thai classes. I picked it all up pretty quickly. Within a year, I had already booked my first fight through one of my instructors. It wasn’t full contact or anything, but I did manage to attract some sponsors after that. The first thing I did when I got that first endorsement check was pay Bellamy back, ten-fold. He used the money for a down payment to buy the repair shop he owns with my friend Raven, and their friend Wick. Since Echo hooked me up at Skai’s, I’ve only fought two other fights on the amateur circuit, but now I’ve finally gotten a slot at the Invitational. I’ve spent the last six months training for it. It’s kind of like a dream come true, really, except that I have to fight Ontari. I mean, I’ve watched the footage of her fights and I’m not… I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”

Anya sat and listened to Octavia’s rambling, loving how cute the little brunette was, both confident and shy, a truly delicate juxtaposition. She had an idea brewing in her head, but before she could voice it Octavia beat her to it, saying, “So, you really wanna help me, huh?”

Smirking, Anya thought about making a joke, something about wanting to do a lot more to Octavia than that, but instead she bit her tongue and said, “Absolutely… Anything.”

Octavia blushed a little at her fervent reply, but grinned back at her easily as she said, “How about you come to Skai’s one night this week and spar a couple rounds with me? I’m always looking for new people to spar with, varying my experience and whatnot.”

Anya’s eyes lit up at the idea of seeing Octavia again and she beamed as she replied, “I’d love that… though, I’m not sure I’ll actually be able to fight you. I wouldn’t want you to get hurt, even by accident. It could really screw things up, getting hurt this close to your fight.”

The grin on Octavia’s lips widened and she winked Anya as she said, “Well then, I hope you’re ready to lose then, ‘cause I won’t hold back.”

Barking out a laugh, Anya couldn’t believe how quickly Octavia had flipped, from shy and timid to cocky and confident in no time flat. She decided to kick the flirting up a notch just to get her to blush again. Arching one eyebrow up, way up, she taunted, “Well, if it means I’d get the chance to straddle those gorgeous hips while you squirm and writhe underneath me, then maybe I won’t hold back either.”

Watching as her words flowed over Octavia, she groaned a little bit when Octavia shivered violently against her body. It was pretty obvious what Octavia thought of that, but then Octavia swallowed hard, clearly trying to get herself together. She only smiled harder though when Octavia stammered, “I, uh yeah, oh yeah, ok.” Anya took in her reaction and for a moment, she thought maybe she had taken it one step too far, but then Octavia turned to face her again, one eyebrow cocked up, mirroring Anya’s own shit-eating grin, as she purred, “You know, I kinda like the sound of that. Maybe we could even arrange a similar engagement in a more private setting, if you win.”

“Well, then challenge accepted. I’m free Tuesday night, if that works for you,” Anya stated calmly, even as as fantasies of Octavia writhing and squirming underneath her began to dance through her mind.

It was Octavia’s shining smile that brought her back from the brink of daydreaming though, and Anya focused just as Octavia replied, “Tuesday sounds good. It’s a date.”

Anya gulped slightly at the use of the ‘D’ word, but the way Octavia was beaming at her helped Anya to relax a little. Just because Octavia had called it a date didn’t mean anything, or it didn’t have to unless Anya made something out of it. She wasn’t about to complicate things by asking what Octavia meant though, so instead she allowed them to lapse into a comfortable silence. With Octavia settled back into her chest it was easy to calm down, that is until Anya the tell-tale signs of a full bladder. She didn’t want Octavia to move; she didn’t want to move herself, but eventually Anya couldn’t hold it anymore and finally said, “Hey, so, I’ve got to use the rest room... Do you wanna meet me at the bar across the hall for some more shots?”

Fighting against another groan, Anya tensed as Octavia began scrambling out of her lap. She rose from the couch first though and she quickly offered Octavia a hand to help her up. She beamed when Octavia gladly accepted it. They strolled together towards the doorway then, until finally they were standing in the relative quiet of the hallway. Anya began to veer right towards the bathroom but she didn’t get very far because Octavia didn’t let go of her hand. Anya turned back, only to find that heated look in Octavia’s eyes again and only a moment passed before Anya felt the pull, as Octavia crashed herself into Anya’s space, planting a hard kiss on Anya’s lips. Anya kissed her back too, like she never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again. All too soon though, they broke apart and Octavia shrunk away for her, her shyness taking over again. Anya squeezed her hand sweetly as she said, “Don’t worry, gorgeous. I’ll catch up to you at the bar, I promise.” Octavia merely nodded again, obviously not really trusting her voice in that moment, and after another brief squeeze, she released Anya’s hand. Anya stood there for an extra second, in awe, as Octavia’s hips swayed as she turned towards the dance room across the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as predicted, work has gotten in the way of my proofing already, and I may not be able to post again until Monday or even Tuesday. I hope that won't be the case, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what the next few days bring.
> 
> This chapter had some lyrics in it too, so here's the band and title... Apoptygma Berzerk- Shadow.


	5. The Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I'm just getting this out now... I had some trouble getting motivated. Maybe it was the weather, maybe my brain was just tired, but that doesn't really matter I guess...
> 
> Anyways, Enjoy Chapter 5! It might not be as long as some of the others but it's definitely packed with conflict...

The first thing Octavia noticed was the significant change in tone when she entered the dance room across the hall. The music was slower, more melodic, and actually in English. She paused at the edge of the dance floor for a minute to try to take in the scene. A few people swished and swayed to the lyrical song, spread out all across the small dance floor. None of them seemed to be dancing together, but Octavia couldn’t help but think that the unbridled movements of each dancer were fitting in their own way. She got lost in it for a few moments too, and only once she realized that she was moving to the music did she actually start to move across the dance floor, trying to make sure she had drinks waiting for Anya when she was done in the bathroom.

Scanning the short bar as she approached, Octavia found only one spot wide enough for her to scooch her way into, and she sighed when she had to lean in between two people to try to attract the bartender’s attention. He was making a couple mixed drinks for a couple down at the other end of the bar, so Octavia settled in to wait, glancing around at the faces around her just to pass the time. She couldn’t help but gasp a little when she spotted Raven, perched on a stool, just on the opposite side of the stranger next to her. Octavia looked the stranger up and down, and quickly realized the woman was an alpha. Said alpha was standing awfully close to her friend too.

‘Too close to be causal,’ Octavia thought, as she glanced across the bar again, finally making eye contact with the bartender. He approached, and she yelled, probably too loudly, “Two tequila shots and two waters.” She knew Raven had heard her, there was no way she hadn’t, so Octavia waited until Raven’s head popped out around the alpha in between them to shout, “OH! Hey! Rae! So, this is where you’ve been hiding!”

Raven grumbled, which was to be expected, but the alpha stiffened like she was suddenly made of wood. Octavia wondered exactly what was happening between them as Raven introduced Abby, and when Octavia felt Abby’s stiff grip and heard her no-nonsense tone, she immediately glanced at her friend like, ‘What the fuck?’ Raven missed the look though because Abby blocked Raven from view at the last second, murmuring something in her friend’s ear. Abby turned then and excused herself to the bathroom, leaving the Octavia alone with Raven at the bar.

For a moment Octavia wasn’t sure what to say. Raven had seemed so excited to introduce Abby, and Octavia definitely hadn’t missed the poignant way Raven had called Abby her _friend_ , but now that Abby was gone, Raven’s mood had taken an abrupt U-turn. Her smile was gone, replaced by an almost fevered worrying of her bottom lip. Every couple of seconds Raven’s eyes flitted over to the door too. Octavia couldn’t stand seeing Raven so stricken, but when she tried to move into the space Abby had left, Raven pulled back from her. Octavia could tell Raven was trying to hide her emotions too, choosing her usual sarcastic tone as she said, “So, where’s Anya? You seemed so into her earlier. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush that hard.”

Octavia bit down on the first words that wanted to come out of her mouth, mostly because she didn’t want to fight, and instead tried to lighten the mood, slapping Raven on the shoulder lightly as she replied, “Yeah, you’re one to talk. I can tell you’ve got something cooking with that hot cougar that just left, so spill...”

When Raven tried to shrink away again, Octavia just stared at her expectantly, knowing from the expression on Raven’s face that she was exactly right. Even before Raven drew in a deep breath, Octavia suspected whatever Raven was going to say was big. “Yes, I think that something was happening with Abby, but that’s probably done-for now. Something definitely shifted when you walked up,” Raven finally said, voice breaking off pensively. It was quiet for only a moment though, well, or as quiet as it could be for the middle of a dance club, before Raven hesitantly added, “She probably thinks we shouldn’t, you know, date or whatever ‘cause she’s older than me, but really, I couldn’t care less. She… she’s sweet and sensitive, not a stereotypical knothead like the rest of them. She did lose it a little bit when she was checking me out earlier, got all growly and snippy… It was super-hot though, like a total turn-on.”

Feeling relieved that Raven was opening up, at least a little, Octavia smiled, thinking of Anya and Lincoln earlier. Raven gave her a curious look, but she explained, “Yeah, I know how you feel. Anya challenged Lincoln when she caught him looking at me earlier. Her pheromones hit me like a whirlwind. I couldn’t believe how it made me feel… the way she was ready to fight him over me. I—yeah, the possessive alpha thing, it’s absolutely a turn-on.”

Raven laughed a little and Octavia thought it still sounded a little strained, but it seemed some of Raven’s snark was coming back to her as she replied, “Wow, O, I had no idea Lincoln felt that way about you. He’s always so quiet when I talk about you at the shop, but I guess it’s the quiet ones you gotta watch out for, right?”

Octavia blushed at her friend’s words, mostly because she knew that Lincoln had felt _that way_ about her, at some point or other. She had heard it from his own mouth, but she didn’t need Raven to know that and asked suddenly, “Oh god, you don’t really think Lincoln likes me, though right? Anya looked like she might tear him apart if he made a move on me.”

“I don’t know, O. He probably respects Bellamy too much to try to get something going with his little sister,” Raven said, gears obviously turning in her head. She drew in a quick breath before she continued, “You know, he really is a quiet guy. I mean, I don’t even know where he lives, for Pete’s sake, and he’s been working at the Ark for over a year now.” Octavia couldn’t help but worry she was going to cause actual problems between Anya and Lincoln, so much so that when Raven finally said, “So, you gonna drink those shots or are they just for decoration?” all she could blink in surprise.

“What?! Oh, well one is for me, but the other is for Anya. She said she’d meet me over here when she finished up in the bathroom. That was a hot minute ago, though,” Octavia said as she glanced up from the two shots in front of her towards the door that led to the hall. ‘There’s no way she’d ditch me, right?’ Octavia thought as she began worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. Little seeds of doubt began to spread as she added, “I’m sure she’ll be along any minute.”

“Hey, I’m sure she will. Just relax, yeah?” Raven said as she placed a hand delicately on Octavia’s shoulder.

“You’re right,” Octavia said, but when she saw a grin spread wide on Raven’s face, she added firmly, “Don’t even say it. Tell me… tell me more about Abby instead.”

 

~~~

 

Abby dashed towards the closed bathroom doors at the end of the hallway, starting to feel desperate, needing to just a take moment to collect herself in private before she had a panic attack or something. She could already feel her heart pounding, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. When Anya suddenly emerged from the door on the left, Abby huffed a sigh of relief, grateful for the sight of her friend. She skidded to halt in front of her friend, and still slightly out of breath, she said, “Anya, Thank god. Look, I— I need to get out of here, pronto. I-I’ve really stepped in it… and if I don’t get out of here soon, I’m going to end up making a total fool out of myself.”

The straightening of Anya’s shoulders was immediate, but she quirked her head to the side just as quickly, laughing as she said, “Abby, what’s going on? You’re being super dramatic.”

Feeling her desperation reach critical mass, Abby looked Anya square in the eyes and before she could stop herself, a low growl emitted from deep in her chest. “I’m sorry about this Anya, but I need you to stop asking questions, and tell me where the closest fucking exit is,” she snarled, through gritted teeth, wishing she didn’t feel so tense, but she couldn’t control it anymore. She dumped her all frustration and fear right at Anya’s feet, forcing Anya to wince when her pheromones clouded the space between them.

“Jeez, Abby,” Anya barked, wincing again, but Abby only felt a little guilty when Anya grabbed her wrist and started leading her deeper into the building. Of the three doors at the end of the hall, Anya seemed intent on the one all the way to the right, and Abby sighed when they passed through it into a small storage room. She glanced around long enough to notice the walk-in cooler set into one wall, and a set of shelves filled with liquor bottles on the other, but her eyes fixed down at the end of a little hallway when she spotted a door with the big red exit sign over top of it. She was already taking a step towards it when Anya piped up behind her, “Abby, what the hell happened in there?”

Blinking a couple times, Abby tried to make sense of what had just happened, or at least enough of it to explain it to Anya. After another quick glance around the obviously private space, she felt like it didn’t matter if it made sense, she needed to get it out anyway. Without even looking back at Anya she just let it all out, rambling almost incoherently as she said, “So, I met this omega at the bar, and we were flirting and dancing and I… I’m definitely into her and she was into me too, I could tell, but then her friend comes up and I— I finally put two and two together… about who she was… I was hitting on my daughter’s roommate, Anya… and I liked it… I should have figured it out earlier, then I could’ve... Rae, Raven… I just— I should’ve figured it out sooner...”

Nearly choking on her next breath, Abby finally let her voice trail off, knowing that she couldn’t say any more and it come out with an intelligence. Anya moved to put a reassuring hand on her back though, and Abby relaxed slightly. Just the simple contact helped so much. She could still barely hear it when Anya called her name, her thoughts still swirling inside her. She didn’t look up either, didn’t meet Anya’s eyes as Anya rubbed her back a little harder and said, “Abby, you couldn’t’ve known. There are literally six million people in this city. There’s no logical reason for you to think the two would be related in any way.”

Laughing a little bitterly, Abby knew that Anya was wrong, because she should have seen it; she should have figured it out before she let whatever was going on with Raven get that far. That was mostly because she was still fighting to urge to run back to Raven’s side, consequences be damned. She felt terrible about just running out on Raven, especially after she’d said she wouldn’t, but the thought of Clarke finding out about them scared her too. She didn’t want to lose Clarke again. “Yeah, you could say that, if I hadn’t already seen Clarke here tonight,” Abby eventually spat, feeling more and more defeated the longer their conversation went on.

The sudden stunned look on Anya’s face alarmed Abby more than her friend’s next words did, mostly because Anya’s “Shit! What?” response was barely more than just a whisper. She tried to make sense of Anya’s response in the long silence that followed but it wasn’t long before Anya continued, “ _Clarke_ is your daughter… but she’s a brunette like you, right?”

Still not sure what Anya was getting at, Abby’s brain responded on auto-pilot, “Naturally yeah, but she dies it blonde.” There was another long silence then, and Abby could feel herself growing more and more anxious by the second. When Anya finally looked up at her, Abby thought she might explode if Anya didn’t explain herself, and soon. It took everything she had to keep her voice even as she asked, “Anya? What’s going on?”

Anya’s fingers fidgeted in her periphery as her friend replied, almost nervously, “Lexa… she… She and Clarke… I mean, they were pretty hot and heavy earlier. I— I wouldn’t be surprised if they haven’t left together already…”

Abby just accepted that, not having the headspace to think about that longer than she had to, so instead she pressed on, “Listen Anya, Clarke is a big girl. She can make her own choices, she’s proven that.” She hesitated, not sure what else to say, but when she thought about walking out that door, she could swear her chest hurt, just at the thought. “I-I hate this, just leaving Raven like this, not even saying goodnight… I know there’s something special there, I can feel it, but that just can’t happen, so I need to just go,” Abby rambled, sure her voice was full of the regret she felt.

She also knew she sounded like she was still trying to talk herself into it, and sure enough, Anya called her out on it, softly asking, “Well, does she know how into her you are?” Abby just shrugged and looked away, even though she knew Raven knew; there was no way she couldn’t. Anya sighed, and it sounded disappointed. Abby couldn’t help but cringe as her friend added, “Well, did you at least get her number if you change your mind?”

Abby’s eyes snapped back up to Anya’s at that, because of course she hadn’t. Before she could stop herself, she snapped again, “Shit! NO!” She threw her hands in the air in frustration, not meaning to keep taking her anxiety out on Anya, but Anya was there, so it was hard not to vent. Trying to reign herself in, Abby drew in a deep breath before she continued, “That’s the thing, Anya… I’m not supposed to want her number. She’s so much younger than me, and she’s got her whole life ahead of her, and she’s been through so much already. Not even factoring in her relationship with Clarke… I should just leave and forget this night ever happened.”

Anya just sighed again, but Abby could see her debating what to say. Eventually, Anya’s expression softened though, as she said, “Well, if you think that’s best, then ok, but I think you’re making a mistake.” That was definitely not what Abby wanted to hear, because that part of her that was screaming for her to go back into the club and wrap Raven in her arms again was getting louder. Anya continued though, like Abby wasn’t obviously still torn about what to do, “That door leads to really narrow alley, so don’t get freaked. There’s only one way to go once you get out there though, so when you get to King Street turn right and you’ll find a taxi stand about a half a block up at 6th, ok?”

Nodding as Anya gave her instructions, Abby was very glad the taxi stand wasn’t far. She wasn’t sure she could handle a long walk alone; it would leave her too much time to second guess leaving in the first place. Anya cleared her throat, obviously expecting some sort of response, and Abby focused back on her as best she could as she said, “Ok, ok. Thanks, Anya. Really, I… I mean, up until my little breakdown just now, I was actually having a good time tonight. We’ll have to do this again some time… Maybe just at a different bar next time.”

“Sure thing, Abby, but don’t worry about returning those clothes. They look damn good on you,” Anya replied as Abby started making her way towards the exit. She merely shook her head as she pushed through the door, and finally slipped out into the night.

 

~~~

 

Watching Abby disappear through the back door, Anya felt oddly guilty. Somehow, she was sure she had caused the stress Abby was under, but she knew better than to let that feeling fester; not when she had plans to enjoy the rest of her evening. She tried to put the whole thing out of her head, but when she finally made her way into the smaller, slower dance room, the first thing she noticed she was the huge grin set on Octavia’s friend’s face. She knew this had to be Raven, but of course, they hadn’t been formally introduced, so Anya couldn’t be absolutely sure. As she moved closer though, she hesitated when she heard ‘Raven’ say, “She’s just right for me, I think. I mean, she didn’t even see my brace the first time she checked me out. Well, that’s what she said anyway. We had a little misunderstanding over that actually, but once I told her about it, she seemed like she just wanted to know more rather than run away, so there’s that… Oh, and holy shit, she can dance. We danced together to a couple songs and honestly O, I don’t know how she did it. I stumbled like I always do, but she just scooped her arms around me and held me up. I— I almost melted. She led me around that dance floor like I had two perfectly working legs. I don’t think I ever felt this swept up by someone before. I really hope I can at least get her number before we leave here tonight…”

From her angle, Anya could see just the corner of Octavia’s lips, but they were twitched up in a smile. Obviously, Raven was talking about Abby and Octavia approved. That made Anya feel even worse about the chaos she had caused. She was going to have to explain, that she knew Abby and that she knew who Abby really was; there would be no getting around that. Deciding to bite the bullet, Anya tried to interject herself into the conversation as smoothly as possible, sliding in behind Octavia, wrapping her arms around her, just as Octavia said, “She seems pretty special. I’m glA-D.”

Startled when Octavia jumped just a little, Anya almost released her embrace, but then Octavia relaxed again a moment later. Anya immediately understood that her touch wasn’t unwelcome, just a surprise. It seemed like quite the opposite actually, when Octavia looked over her shoulder at her and smiled a dreamy looking smile. Anya dutifully turned her attention to Octavia’s friend though, smiling over Octavia’s shoulder as she extended her hand out and said, “Hey, so… I’m Anya. I know we sort of met earlier, but I feel like I should formally introduce myself… Just the way I was raised, I guess.”

Raven reached out and took her offered hand and they shook briefly before Anya pulled her hand back. The look of worry that crossed Raven’s face then was pretty obvious, even though Anya had just met her, and when Raven glanced around nervously for a moment, Anya knew she what she was doing; she was looking for Abby. Anya knew Abby wasn’t coming back though. The brief flash of nerves was enough for Anya to realize Raven was much more fragile than she looked, emotionally anyway, and Anya knew in that moment that she couldn’t be the one to explain things to Raven. She wasn’t even sure Raven would believe her; she was a total stranger after all, an unknown element. Anya figured she would need to tell Octavia and then let Octavia decide how to tell Raven the truth, or if she was even going to tell her. Anya didn’t like keeping secrets, never had, had always felt like keeping secrets was a great way to get herself in trouble and this shit-uation was a perfect example of that. Glancing over at the bar, she was relieved to see two shots and two waters in front of Octavia. Seeing her opportunity, Anya leaned in, tucking her face down close to Octavia’s ear as she asked, “Is one of those for me?” Octavia started to shift against her, probably trying to turn to look at her, but before she allowed Octavia to move away, Anya added in a hushed whisper, “We need to talk.”

Feeling Octavia stiffen against her again though, Anya immediately started kicking herself. ‘Good choice of words, dumbass,’ she thought, as Octavia shivered before turning in her arms. Where she thought she was going to find anger or upset in Octavia’s eyes, she only found confusion though. When Octavia reached out, rather blindly, and picked up their two shots, Anya pulled back a little, bringing one hand to rest on Octavia’s waist as she took one of the shots from her. She gave Octavia a little squeeze, trying her best to reassure her without having to actually say anything, but when their eyes met again, the worried look on Octavia’s face was almost heartbreaking. Anya swallowed hard against the lump rising in her throat, tipping her glass towards Octavia as she said, “To enjoying life, no matter how complicated it gets sometimes.”

Octavia gave her another questioning look, but seemed to understand her meaning, at least somewhat, and only paused for a second before she turned her shot up. Anya followed suit, and two seconds later, both their shots were gone. Anya bit back a grimace at the taste of the cheap, well tequila and made a mental note to introduce Octavia to the good stuff at some point. Fighting past the burn, she tried to keep her smile reassuring as Octavia reached back to the bar and grabbed the two waters. Octavia handed one of those to her as well, as she said, “Wouldn’t want you to get dehydrated, now would we? ‘Cause I definitely plan on taking you for another spin on the dance floor.”

Instantly recognizing Octavia ploy for privacy, Anya smirked at her and quickly said, “Of course. You wanna go back across to the other room, or…” She let her voice trail off, let the rest of her question fade into the unknown, because the truth was the rest of her question was just that; unknown.

Thankfully, it seemed her slight awkwardness was working to her advantage though, as Raven piped up, “Go on, O. You two kids have fun. I’ll be fine… maybe I’ll go make sure Abby’s ok.”

Anya flinched slightly at the mention of Abby’s name, but thankfully neither Raven or Octavia noticed. The truth was right there, right on the tip of her tongue, and the sooner she got Octavia alone, the faster they could figure out how to tell Raven that Abby had left and whether or not to be honest with Raven about why.

Octavia nodded to Raven, and Raven nodded back, and Anya watched as some sort of silent conversation went on between them. It felt a little intrusive, just standing there staring at them, but when she made to turn away, to give them a moment to themselves, she heard Raven call out, “Hey! Have you seen Clarke?”

Unfortunately, Anya hadn’t noticed that Octavia had started to move with her, so when she turned back at the sound of Raven’s voice, she essentially banged right into Octavia. Octavia grabbed onto her waist to keep from falling and Anya gasped as Octavia’s nails dug into her sides. She heard Raven’s snorted laughter then too, stunted but still painfully obvious, and even though she was embarrassed Anya couldn’t help but snicker a little too. Octavia was the only one not laughing though, and when Anya looked up, she instantly realized why. The force of her body had pushed Octavia against the bar in an awkward sort of way, in a way that looked none-too-comfortable. She quickly stumbled back, looking over Octavia apologetically, earning herself another snicker from Raven. She turned to face Raven then, a growl building in her throat, but Raven’s eyes were locked onto Octavia’s, so she held it back. It was only another second before she heard Octavia grind out, “No, but she’s a big girl and she’s with Lexa, so I’m sure she’s fine.”

If Anya didn’t know any better, she would think Octavia was eager to get her alone for another reason other than to talk, especially with the way Octavia hauled her across of the room after that. Anya glanced back just in time to see Raven turn back to the bar, before they disappeared through the doorway into the hall. The second they were out of Raven’s sight though, Octavia immediately whirled on her and exclaimed, “Ok, so, you’re being super cryptic. What the hell’s going on?!”

Anya wasn’t really sure how to start the conversation, but she decided jumping in with both feet would probably be best, just get it over with, get everything out in the open. She stepped into Octavia’s space then, as she asked in a hushed tone, “Octavia, what’s Clarke’s mom’s name?”

Octavia’s eyes narrowed, giving her a confused but interested look, but Anya could tell Octavia was eager to answer her question, if it would get them to the point faster. It only took Octavia a second to say, “Uh, I have no idea. I mean, Clarke always calls her Mom and I’ve never met her so, yeah, to me she’s just Clarke’s mom.” She paused for a second, and Anya could see it, the moment when something clicked in Octavia’s head. She already knew what Octavia was going to say when she finally asked, “Wait, why the hell are you asking me about Clarke’s mom?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure if we asked Clarke, she’d tell us that her mom’s name is Abby,” Anya stated as clearly as she could, trying desperately to cling to her even tone.

Octavia froze, her eyebrows shooting up in complete surprise. “What do you mean? How do you know that?” she barked, and Anya winced at how accusatory Octavia’s voice sounded.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself a little, Anya pulled one of Octavia’s hands into her own, squeezing slightly when Octavia flinched and tried to pull away. She really hoped what she was about to say wasn’t going to end whatever they had going, but Abby was her friend and Octavia deserved to know that, sooner rather than later. “Well, _Abby_ happens to be a friend of mine. She came here with Lexa and I, actually. I sorta forgot she was even here, but honestly, I’ve been kind of distracted.” She waggled her eyebrows a little and Octavia smiled, blushing just a little, so Anya continued, barely missing a beat, “Anyway, I ran into her on my way out of the bathroom. She was totally mortified. She said she’d been making moves on Clarke’s best friend.” Anya paused when Octavia scoffed at that. She suspected they had a running thing about who was whose best friend in their little triangle and decided to simply let that go, no reason to interject herself in that aspect of their group dynamic. Instead, she quickly added, “She begged me to get her out of here. She, uh, she left out the back about ten minutes ago, and I know we should tell Raven, I just don’t know how much to tell her.” From the still shocked look on Octavia’s face, Anya knew it would be a second before Octavia responded, but she definitely wasn’t expecting the response she got.

 

~~~

 

Octavia’s mouth dropped open instantly when Anya started talking. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. There was no way this friend of Anya’s just happened to be Clarke’s mom. There was no way that she just happened to be at the club with Anya and Lexa on the same night they had chosen to come out for her birthday. There was no way that she just happened to be the same alpha who had been hitting on Raven all night. Well, that part wasn’t so hard to swallow, she had seen the way Abby was around Raven, leaning in and touching her without needing to, smiling and laughing and flirting. It hit her like a ton of bricks then; Abby wasn’t just hitting on Raven, she wasn’t just trying to pick her up… Abby was _interested_ in Raven, and that was why Abby had left in such a hurry.

One realization led to another until Octavia’s head was spinning. Connecting all the dots, she cringed as she thought about how Clarke would react if she found out about Raven and Abby. Clarke would be furious, livid even, probably feeling betrayed by her mom and her friend at the same time. Even though, from Octavia’s perspective, neither of them had actually done anything wrong, she knew Clarke already had a tenuous relationship with her mom; she suspected that Clarke would flip if she found out Abby hadn’t just been hitting on Raven but was genuinely interested in her. It would undoubtedly drive a wedge between Clarke and her mother, and maybe ruin all their friendships in the process. She debated for a moment the merits of lying to Raven about Abby, just covering the whole thing up, but then she remembered that optimistic, yet still sad, look on Raven’s face. Raven had seemed so enamored as she had described Abby earlier, claiming she was sweet and sensitive and kind. Octavia hadn’t seen any of those things, but there was a hope there, one that Octavia would do anything not to have to kill. The idea of Raven finding out the truth later on and then turning on her because of it made her shudder too though. It was a rock and a hard place decision for sure, but Octavia knew what she had to do, finally responding to Anya when she said, “It’ll be hard, but Raven deserves to know the truth... Not to mention, if she finds out later, it’ll be even worse because not only is the Abby situation shitty, but then I’ll be a liar too. Raven rage… it— it just wouldn’t be a good way to die. I mean, she knows how to make things go boom.”

Remembering the scorch marks on her wall when she’d first moved in with Raven, Octavia laughed a little uncomfortably as she thought about being a scorch mark herself, but then Anya just smiled sort of morosely and said, “Alright then… let’s do this.”

Octavia knew she couldn’t do that to Anya though, couldn’t ask Anya to sit by awkwardly while she explained things to Raven. Not only that, she couldn’t do that to Raven either. The freak out Raven was sure to have when Octavia told her the truth would need to be private. She wasn’t going to explain much of anything, at least until they were far away from Polaris. She couldn’t help but smile though, because she realized Anya truly must be special if she was willing to sacrifice the rest of her evening like that. She turned to Anya fully then, and squeezed Anya’s hand as she said, “Anya, you don’t have to stick around for this. I’m just gonna take her home. That way when she has a meltdown, she won’t have to do it in public.”

“Oh… ok, then. Well, uh, I’ guess I’ll see you Tuesday then, right?” Anya asked, voice sounding both relieved and hopeful. There was a little uncertainty too, and that just made Octavia smile even harder.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Octavia crooned then, sliding her way into Anya’s arms when opened them to her. She just stood there for moment, letting herself be held and holding on as well. That is, until a little mischievous part of her added, “I mean, I might never get the chance to have my way with you otherwise...”

Anya snickered, and for a second, Octavia thought maybe Anya didn’t understand what she meant. She thought she was making it pretty obvious, that if Anya played her cards right, they’d be doing a lot more than sparring, but she couldn’t be sure. When Anya squeezed her in tighter to her chest, she had her answer though. She sank into the embrace too, letting her guard down a little. That proved to be a mistake, when Anya suddenly dipped down into her neck and whispered, “So, is that game? Winner take all? Because let me tell you, I won’t _go down_ without a fight.” Octavia shivered, she couldn’t help it. The heat of Anya’s breath, combined with those words, was too much for her. She recovered pretty quickly though, playfully swatting Anya’s arm for making her blush so furiously.

The teasing sort of drew Octavia out of the moment though, and she could almost feel their time together coming to an end. She shivered again though when she felt Anya hand come up to meet her cheek. Octavia followed the gesture, raising herself onto the balls of her feet to press her cheek into Anya’s touch. Anya was staring into her eyes, a question, unspoken on her lips. Octavia knew instantly what Anya was asking and she was more than happy comply. Without more than a moment’s hesitation, Octavia pressed up a little further and she sighed as their lips met in a soft, almost tentative, kiss.

When they both pulled away at the same time, Octavia blushed again and hid her face in Anya’s shoulder. Anya’s thumb brushed over her skin in such a way though, that Octavia couldn’t help tipping back up for more. The next kiss was nowhere near as chaste as the last, and Octavia groaned into it, feeling the desire swirling in the air all around them, cracking with electricity. Anya’s hot kisses came one after the other, taking complete control of her lips, but then Anya’s hands moved down to grip her hips, and Octavia gasped at the sensation. Anya’s tongue slipped in between them, flicking her top lip before pushing inside her mouth. It was the hottest thing Octavia had ever felt, Anya exploring her mouth, tongues brushing in a wild passionate dance. It was such a kiss that Octavia felt almost dizzy with desire, her breathing becoming faster and more uneven with each passing second.

Eventually though, Octavia felt Anya pull back, just before they could get too carried away. She heard Anya laugh softly but she didn’t open her eyes after their kissing ended. She wanted to stay in the moment for just another second, wanted to savor how it felt to have Anya delving inside her like that. She was sure she was still puckered up, still searching for Anya’s lips, and she really didn’t care if she looked ridiculous or not. She sighed when Anya leaned back in and delivered one more sweet, soft kiss and muttered against her lips, “Goodnight, Octavia. I very much look forward to Tuesday.”

“Uhh huh,” Octavia grunted against Anya’s lips before she pulled away. Her eyes popped open when their connection broke this time, and with that, realization came. She blurted out, “Wait, can I— can I get your number? You know, in case I need someone to call tomorrow when my place turns into a war zone.”

She knew it was a sort of flimsy excuse for wanting Anya’s number, but she also knew Anya wouldn’t resist either. Anya nodded, and Octavia grinned as she immediately began fishing her phone out of its hiding place inside her bra. She could see Anya watching her, a hungry look flashing across Anya’s face when she had to pull her tank top down quite a bit in order to finally free the damn thing. She fumbled her way through entering her passcode a couple times, fingers shaking nervously. She didn’t understand why she suddenly felt so nervous though. Maybe it was just the prospect of seeing Anya again, or maybe it was her impending conversation with Raven, but either way, she sighed when Anya placed a hand over one of hers. The soft contact instantly calmed her, and after only another moment, Octavia finally managed to get her phone unlocked. She quickly opened a new contact and handed the phone over to Anya. She couldn’t see much of what Anya was typing in then, but she raised an eyebrow when she realized that Anya switched over to her messages and sent herself a quick little message, completing the exchange. It was a bit forward, but Octavia smirked at the smooth move. It was made all the smoother when Anya simply shrugged and said, “This way I can call you tomorrow, no matter what is going on.”

Octavia smiled brightly, already looking forward to hearing from Anya, despite the fact that they hadn’t even parted yet. She moved back up on her toes to plant one last kiss to the Anya’s lips, refusing to let Anya go without one more. Anya smiled into it, and when Octavia pulled back this time, she felt like it was finally time, so she said, “Ok, here I go. Wish me luck… Good night, Anya.”

 

~~~

 

Slipping out the back door, Abby slumped against the wall, staring into the dark alley like it was an oasis in the dessert. It took her a minute to realize that Anya had been right. The alley really was a tight space, with only about six feet of clearance between the club and the next building. In just the first glance, Abby could tell the alley was congested too, hulking shadows lining both walls, ones that she couldn’t help but quickly scrutinize. Not seeing, or smelling, anyone lurking about though, Abby closed her eyes tightly against the night, choking back a sob. ‘Of course, the first time I meet someone new, they end up being Clarke’s best friend… What the hell is wrong with me?’ Abby thought, as she tried to compose herself, dipping her head back to rest against the wall. She chuckled as the textbook part of her brain said, ‘That’s right, open the airway, deep cleansing breaths.’

“Ok, get your shit together. Just go home and sleep it off… act like this never happened,” Abby said to herself as she pushed off the wall and began to slowly pick her way through the dark towards the street. When she approached the end of the alley, she suddenly felt like she should check it out, see if the coast was clear, so to speak. It just wouldn’t do to get this close to escaping the awkwardness and end up walking right into Clarke. She slunk out around the corner of the building and lurked in the shadows for a moment. She thought she was being sneaky, but then a couple turned the corner onto the same side of the street. From their body language, it was easy to tell that one of them had noticed her. Trying to not be that weirdo, Abby hastily turned away from the couple and moved quickly up the sidewalk, thankfully towards the taxi stand.

At first glance, she could tell there was no one waiting, and she thanked whoever might be watching over her for that, her fingers crossed for a speedy getaway. There wasn’t a taxi waiting either though, but she thought surely one would be along in few minutes, so there wouldn’t be too much time exposed on the street. She got to the head of the taxi stand just as an older man came around the corner at Sixth street. He approached the stand to wait his turn as well. Abby folded her arms across her chest and turned away from him slightly. Not because she was intimidated or afraid, his neutral beta scent belying his disinterest, but she didn’t really have any energy left to engage him either.

A minute or so later, Abby heard a light shuffling behind her, a little further down the block. She assumed it was the couple from earlier and didn’t think much of it as the sounds grew closer. She shifted uncomfortably as the couple’s combined scents reached her nose though, because despite herself, the cloying scent reminded her of Raven. She had first noticed Raven’s scent when they had been on the dance floor together, a cinnamon-sweet fullness, with a spicy, tangy undercurrent. Abby smiled when she thought, ‘Well, I do love spicy food.’ She had wondered then, with their faces and lips so close together, how Raven would have tasted were they to kiss. At the time, Abby had pushed those thoughts right out of her head, trying to not put her cart before her horse. Knowing what she knew though, Abby cursed herself, as she thought, ‘Damn it! Why didn’t I just kiss her when I had the chance? Now I’ll never know!’

Her fists clenched, and she fought down the growl building in her chest. A low lumbering rumble broadcasted anyway, but Abby quickly realized she hadn’t actually made the sound. She glanced over her shoulder then and found the man behind her looking over his shoulder as well. When she could focus past his bland features, she finally saw the couple from down the block, and this time, up close. Even held in a tight embrace, it wasn’t hard for Abby to recognize the mane of blonde hair nuzzled into the crook of a brunette’s neck. ‘No, no, no, No, no, NO!’ Abby’s inner monologue screamed when she realized what was about to happen.

Heat seared through Abby’s face when Lexa’s head tipped up from where it had been buried in Clarke’s neck. It was inevitable; their eyes met, and Abby’s blood pressure soared, to the point where she felt almost dizzy. Clarke still hadn’t seen her yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time. Feeling even more panicked by that certainty, Abby nearly turned and physically _ran away,_ but then Lexa’s mouth opened. She couldn’t let Lexa say anything, but she didn’t know how to stop her without saying anything. She could barely hear herself thinking with the way her heart was pounding in her ears. Apparently, she looked just as terrified as she felt, because after only a second of hanging open, Lexa’s mouth closed again. Abby didn’t dare relax though, Lexa’s darkened eyes were still searching her own, obviously trying to figure out what was going on. As much as Abby didn’t appreciate the way Lexa was still holding her daughter, she would appreciate it a lot less if Lexa called out to her a ruined her last chance to get away unscathed.

Sudden movement in their periphery drew all eyes towards the street, and Abby sighed as a yellow cab pulled alongside the stand. She didn’t hesitate for a second, all but scrambling to get inside. She didn’t want to look back at Lexa, didn’t want to see those questions in Lexa’s eyes again. She simply tossed two twenties through the privacy window and barked, “Just Drive.” Only a moment later, the cab was pulling away from the curb, and Abby finally felt like she could breathe. The near silence inside the car was almost crushing though, leaving Abby feeling sort of repressed by the lack of stimulation. After the din of the club and the night sounds of the city, the rushing of air moving over the car and the soft jazz on the radio just weren’t enough to keep her occupied. The last thing she needed was to be left alone with her thoughts. It seemed the cabbie could sense it too, and after only a block or two he said, “Well, with as dramatic as that was, I would think you were running from the mob or something… Or, maybe a bad break-up?”

Abby chuckled drily, thinking that maybe she would go with that story; running from a jealous boyfriend who’s got connections. Something inside her wouldn’t let her dismiss her evening like that though, wouldn’t let her dismiss meeting Raven like that, and before she could censor herself, she replied, “Nothing anywhere near that exciting, just avoiding an uncomfortable situation.”

The cabbie grunted a little bit, and Abby thought that was that, but then he simply said, “Uncomfortable usually means complicated.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Abby blurted then, again before she could stop herself, but the cabbie just laughed a little before falling silent again. She didn’t know why, but she felt like maybe she could trust this complete stranger, at least enough to unburden herself a little. She figured she would probably never see him again anyway, so she said, “I met a girl at the bar tonight… Turns out she’s my daughter’s best friend.”

That was as far as she got before the cabbie interrupted, “OH, shit… No way?” Abby didn’t think he had really meant to react like that, as she could see him blushing through the rear-view mirror, but Abby just continued on, figuring if that surprised him, she was really going to get him with the rest of the story.

“Yeah, the blonde back there at the taxi stand, that was my daughter… Obviously going home for the night with one of my friends… so yeah…” Abby explained, letting her voice trail off, suddenly feeling ridiculous.

When the cabbie pulled the car over, coming to a rest in an empty bus stop, Abby was a little worried. Unsure why they were stopping, especially after she hadn’t given him any kind of destination, she thought maybe he was kicking her out. He turned slightly in his seat though, bringing his head around to look at her. Abby was relieved to see nothing but genuine concern on his face. They just stared at each other for a second or two, before he finally said, “That’s… that’s almost too good to be true… What’s your daughter’s name?” The question was so out of the blue that Abby answered on instinct, saying Clarke’s name before slamming her lips shut again. She couldn’t believe she’d just said that, but then the cabbie really threw her for a loop, when he replied, “So, the girl from the bar… was it Ray, or O?”

Hands clenching into fists, Abby bit the inside of her cheek, trying to keep herself from growling. Just the mention of Raven’s nickname was enough to do put her on edge, but what did this stranger know about them, and why was he dancing around it? She had to know, and quickly said as much, grinding out, “What do you know about it?”

Obviously, the cabbie wasn’t intimidated by her harsh tone, as he laughed a little and easily replied, “Plenty… You’ve been in this cab once already tonight, you and your two alpha friends, the blonde and the brunette… I had three omegas about a half-hour before you guys too; Clarke, O and Ray…” The nickname made Abby physically wince that time, but the cabbie didn’t mention the twitch as he pressed on, “And, before you get all alpha about that… I only tend to remember the fares that talk to me. We had a whole discussion about what the inside of my cab smelled like.”

At the subliminal suggestion, Abby took in a long breath, only to be shocked when she found some of Raven’s tanginess lingering under the more recent scents. She breathed in deep again, chasing the scent just a little, but it only made her heart hurt more. Being reminded of what she couldn’t have made her ache. Now that she had recognized it too, she wasn’t sure how much longer she could actually stay in that cab. It seemed the driver could sense her unease again, because he suddenly said, “But, enough about that… Why don’t I just take you home. You look awfully tired.” He was right of course; Abby did feel weary, and she quickly supplied him with her address. He was silent for a moment or two before he scoffed, “One of those twenties is more than enough… That’s only a seven or eight-dollar fare at this time of night.”

Part relieved, but also part demoralized, Abby just mumbled, “Don’t worry about it.” The rest of the ride was quiet, but Abby became so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t really even notice.  Mind meandering over everything, Abby realized that she didn’t think Clarke and Lexa being together was the worst thing in the world. She knew Lexa had her past, but she also knew Clarke, her patient, tenacious, sensitive daughter; if Clarke really set her mind on something, she would not be deterred. Abby knew if Clarke liked Lexa and truly wanted her, then Clarke would do just about anything to keep her. That is at least as long as Lexa didn’t do anything to royally screw things up.

Thinking of screwing it up royally though, Abby began kicking herself again, this time over not even saying ‘Good night,’ to Raven. She had just ditched, ran away without a word like a coward. ‘What if Clarke caught me kissing her friend’s cheek, as I said goodnight? There’d be no getting out of that fight unharmed,’ Abby reasoned, but she knew that was just the coward part of her, rationalizing her actions, or rather, her inactions. She growled involuntarily, causing the driver to jump in his seat. Abby muttered under her breath and she thought it sort of sounded like, “Sorry.”

Even that growl made her think of Raven though. It was embarrassing, but Abby had never been with an omega before. Not once in her life had she even looked at an omega and thought the things she had thought about Raven; what she would taste like, what she would sound like when she came, what it would fell like to hover over her, sweaty and naked, plunging deep inside her, filling Raven up. She had to admit that the thought of claiming Raven in such a way was intoxicating as well as overwhelming. Not to mention that, Raven was by far the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen. With images of Raven’s smile, her eyes, her arms, her hips… her everything… dancing behind Abby’s closed eyes, Abby drifted as the cab moved through the light traffic. Her eyes snapped open though, and she bit back another growl when the cabbie called out quietly, “Home sweet home.”

Barely containing her groan, Abby simply slid out of the backseat and onto the sidewalk, blatantly ignoring her driver’s further protests about the over payment. She couldn’t be bothered over twenty dollars. She pushed herself up the stoop stairs and into her home. She immediately made her way towards her bed, trudging up to the third floor. She only stopped into her bathroom long enough to strip off her clothes and haphazardly brush her teeth. She threw her dirty clothes in the hamper on the way out, not even bothering to put on something to sleep in before she crashed onto the bed, face first. She wanted to kick and scream. She wanted to throw a fit. She felt like the universe was just being cruel, and honestly, she felt like she’d had enough of its games.

Trying not to let herself get too worked up though, Abby forced her breathing to slow, eventually taking her heart rate and blood pressure along with it. Once she was finally relaxed, she couldn’t help wondering what would have happened if she’d had the chance to invite Raven to come home with her. Maybe they would have just cuddled for a while, talking and sharing each other’s warmth; maybe they would have done more than cuddle. The point was that she’d never know. At least, she hadn’t let that train of thought get very far, knowing that at that point she was just torturing herself. She tried to comfort herself as she had many a night before, wrapping her body around the extra-long pillow she kept in her bed. She tried to make herself believe the pillow was actually Raven, held tight in her arms, safe and happy and comfortable. The pillow was the poor substitute for Raven’s warm skin and sweet scent though, and Abby found that sleep was a long time coming, no matter how tired she felt.


	6. The Expansion

Even though it was an awkwardly long toast, Lexa smirked at Clarke’s eloquent words. She repeated them in her head, trying to really absorb them, ‘ _Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always._ ’ She took a sip from her beer to give herself a moment to mull it over further, sure she had heard those words somewhere before. Even after several moments though, she still couldn’t place the quote. Seeing Clarke watching her intently however, she knew she need to say something, needed some sort of response, even if it wasn’t very intelligent. Without knowing who the quote was by, she couldn’t continue their conversation that way, so she fell back on picking up their flirting again instead. She smiled, hoping it reached all the way across her face, as she finally said, “Well, you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

Clarke’s hearty laugh was like music to Lexa’s ears, leaving her feeling much less awkward. That only last a second, before Clarke’s smirk turned a little devious, and she pressed herself into Lexa’s side again. Lexa wasn’t really complaining though, being that close to Clarke wasn’t exactly a hardship. She just reached around Clarke’s back with her free hand, cradling Clarke’s waist as Clarke replied coyly, “I really can’t take the credit for that one. It’s by Dante, like Dante’s Inferno, Dante. He didn’t just write about deals with the devil, you know? He wrote poetry, too. I, uh, I know whole thing if you’d like to hear it.” Lexa nodded, because she was pretty sure Clarke could read the ingredients of her beer and she’d be happy to listen. Clarke made to pull her even closer and Lexa was helpless to resist, as Clarke began to whisper the full poem into her ear, “Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise, like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls, and yet severs prior ties. A celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one, like a team braced against the tempest. Civil world and love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of the feelings long held, promises made long ago, in the sacred spaces of our hearts.”

Lexa felt little shivers travel all along her skin as Clarke spoke, her whole body reacting to the sultry tone and the hopeful words. When Clarke finished and pulled back, Lexa couldn’t help the way she smiled at her. It was clear how delighted Clarke was with herself too, and with how Lexa was reacting to her, but that didn’t mean that every shake and quiver hadn’t caused Lexa’s heart to race anyway. She lost herself in the depth and intensity of the moment, her body swaying of its own accord, closer and closer to Clarke, until they were completely flush against one another. The whispering heat of Clarke’s scent slunk over her like a fog, hazing over everything that wasn’t the beautiful omega right in front of her. It was a creeping sort of sensation, so subtle that Clarke’s scent overwhelmed her senses before Lexa even realized what was happening. When she finally did, there was no stopping it, not that Lexa wanted to; she simply let Clarke’s scent wash over her, relishing in the way it called to her. She nearly groaned when her length twitched in her jeans, swelling and growing, responding to the heated undertones filling the air around them. Obviously, Clarke noticed too, subconsciously or not, and Lexa stiffened as Clarke’s hips squirmed forward, pressing against her in an oh-so-sweet sort of way. Certain that her voice would be husky and rough, belying her arousal, Lexa couldn’t help but whisper, “clarke, what are you doing?”

The not-so-innocent snicker Lexa got as a response should have been enough to tell her that she was being seduced. The cute way Clarke said, “Who, me?” told her just as much too. Lexa wasn’t buying that sweet innocent act though; she had a feeling Clarke knew exactly what she was doing. That disbelief must have shown on her face though, because for a moment Lexa thought she saw a flicker of hesitation in Clarke’s eyes. It was gone just as quickly though, Clarke simply leaning in closer and whispering, “well… I was trying to get you to take me home with you tonight…” Lexa’s eyes shot open, wide and shocked, not expecting Clarke to be so blunt, but then she felt Clarke grinning against the side of her neck. She honestly almost lost it when Clarke arched into her a little, rubbing herself more firmly against her bulge, but then Clarke tipped the scale, whispering seductively this time, “tell me… is it working?”

Trying to retain at least a little of her composure, Lexa quickly gulped around the lump that had formed in her throat. Her fist clenched around her beer bottle too, but her other hand gripped at Clarke’s waist instead. She smiled absently when she heard a satisfying little gasp against her ear. All Lexa could think was, ‘Is it working? She must be joking… Can’t she feel how well it’s working?’ Clarke rocked against her again though, and Lexa had to put her beer down to grip both of Clarke’s hips instead. If Clarke didn’t stop that, she was going to have a serious stain problem before too long. She could already feel her underwear punching and sticking to her. Thankfully, Clarke stilled under her grip, whimpering slightly, but before any more of those disappointed little sounds could reach her ears, Lexa tightened her grip and choked out, “Clarke, wou-would it be inappropriate to ask if you wanted to come home with me… now?”

Clarke nodded enthusiastically against her neck, and Lexa felt it as Clarke’s nose dragged over her skin. It was even more distracting than feeling Clarke’s hot breath brush her skin, but she managed to focus as Clarke said, “I think _now_ sounds great… Just gimme a sec to text my friends though. I don’t want them worry when they can’t find me later.” Letting Clarke go was hard, but Lexa watched in awe as Clarke pulled back, whipping out her phone with lightning efficiency, shot off a three-word text before she could blink. This was certainly not the bumbling omega for ten minutes ago, but Lexa found she liked Clarke’s determination, especially if it meant they’d get somewhere more private that much sooner. With Clarke momentarily distracted though, Lexa was left to her own devices. She gulped at her beer again, just for something to do, trying not to think too heavily about what they were about to do. She wanted this, wanted to feel someone else’s warmth again, wanted to share herself with someone again. When Clarke turned that beaming smile back at her, Lexa knew Clarke wasn’t just _someone,_ she was _someone special_. The way Clarke’s eyes sparkled had Lexa feeling some sort of way, but she tried to keep herself calm. She was very eager to see where the rest of the night would lead, but she didn’t want to rush. Clarke deserved better than some fast, hands-down-pants, one-night thing; she deserved so much better than that. The way Clarke grabbed her hand though, quickly pulling her toward the front door of the club, Lexa realized they would probably be lucky to make it as far as back seat of the cab before anything ‘inappropriate’ happened.

 

~~~

 

Once on the street, Clarke blushed when she realized she’d just asked Lexa to take her home, and not the other way around, but she didn’t allow herself to dwell on that, and simply asked in rush, “So, did you drive here?”

As Lexa shook her head and said, “No, I took a cab. There’s a hiring stand just around the corner though,” Clarke suddenly felt foolish, having asked a question she already knew the answer to; she had ridden in the same cab Lexa had taken to get to the club. She had been intoxicated by Lexa’s scent long before she had actually bumped into her. She blushed again, unable to help the embarrassed reaction, but then Lexa’s expression turned confused and curious, and Clarke just blushed even harder. She knew Lexa was wondering what was going on, but thankfully it seemed Lexa decided to let it go without comment. Clarke easily followed when Lexa took the lead from there, sighing as Lexa ushered her into her side and wrapped an arm firmly around her shoulder.

It was a position that Clarke was quickly beginning to adore, snuggled in comfortably against Lexa’s side. She loved the feeling Lexa’s lean muscles moving against her as they fell into step with one another as they walked. When they turned the corner, Lexa stiffened slightly though, slowing their combined pace. Clarke snapped to attention in time to spot someone slinking out of an alley ahead. She instinctively pulled herself closer to Lexa, seeking more of the comfort Lexa was offering her. Relief washed over her a second later, when the stranger turned the other way on the street and began briskly moving away from them. Lexa obviously still wanted to put some distance between them and this stranger though, keeping their pace deliberate and slow. Clarke definitely wasn’t going to complain about getting spend more time wrapped up in Lexa’s arms, strolling down the sidewalk like they had all the time in the world. They moved together so effortlessly however, that before Clarke knew it, they were lining up behind a couple of other people waiting at the taxi stand. Lexa’s arm flexed around her shoulder when they stopped, and Clarke took it for the invitation that it was, burrowing her face into Lexa’s shoulder, snuggling in as close as she could get to the source of Lexa’s heady musk.

Unable to resist, Clarke blew out a hot breath across Lexa’s neck. She smiled to herself when Lexa sighed happily at the sensation. Lexa brought her other arm up to wrap around Clarke’s shoulders then and Clarke just burrowed a little deeper into the embrace. This time when she exhaled, her hot breath tickled Lexa’s chest instead, and with how close they were to each other, it was obvious Lexa liked that. Clarke could feel it in the way Lexa twitched and surged against the inseam of her jeans. Perfectly pleased with that reaction, Clarke leaned her face up towards Lexa’s then, placing a few sweet little kisses along that remarkably cut jaw. She whirred deep in her chest, part excited and part desperate, when Lexa shuddered hard against her at the sensation. Clarke worked her way all the up until she could nuzzle in against the crux of Lexa’s scent, the little gland nestled just under her ear. She barely managed to stop herself from running her tongue over it, desperate for just one taste. Somehow, she rationalized away from that, deciding that that was way too intimate while they were still in public. She couldn’t pull herself away though, so she settled for brushing her nose over the source of Lexa’s scent instead. She sighed contentedly as Lexa filled her senses, far more intoxicated by Lexa’s rich scent than she was by the alcohol she had consumed over the last few hours.

Apparently, Clarke wasn’t the only one being affected either, as Lexa rumbled loudly at her sigh. Clarke could barely control herself when the vibrations from that sound shot down to her core, lighting her up in a way that no one else ever had. It was such a feeling that she barely heard the people in front of them in line shuffle and turn around. She couldn’t be bothered by their stares either, not when she could simply nuzzle in against Lexa’s scent again. When she felt Lexa stiffen under the gaze of those strangers, she thought Lexa was going to push her away, but thankfully, Lexa just turned her head down and nuzzled Clarke back. She heard the strangers shuffling again, and she appreciated them turning away from their obviously intimate moment.

A yellow cab pulled up, interrupting their moment however, and Clarke looked up just in time to see a someone duck inside the back seat. The car pulled away from the curb in a lurch, but then the man in front of them moved up, and Lexa began shuffling them forward as well. As their bodies moved together, Clarke tried to hold herself together, but the longer they stood there, the harder it was to keep herself from licking her way up Lexa’s neck or pushing Lexa’s hand up under her dress. At least it wasn’t long before another cab rolled up, to take the man in front of them away, but then the time alone, but not really _alone,_ was like torture. Having Lexa so close, but truly still so far away, was causing Clarke’s skin to itch and flush. By the time their cab arrived, Clarke felt like the only thing keeping her standing as Lexa’s firm presence at her side.

Smiling as Lexa opened the door for her, Clarke slid into the back seat, Lexa close on her heels. She settled back against the seat as Lexa gave the driver her address and after only another moment, they were off. Clarke smirked when Lexa threw her arm over the back to the bench seat. She quickly pushed in under Lexa’s shoulder and nestled snuggly in against her side again. They sat quietly for a few minutes, but then Clarke felt something vibrate against her cheek. She squeaked at the abrupt disruption, but Lexa simply smiled as she pulled her phone out of the top pocket of her vest. Lexa wasn’t trying to hide it, and Clarke wasn’t trying to look, but her curiosity got the better of her and she quickly glanced over at Lexa’s phone. The top of the screen clearly showed it was from Anya, and that made sense, Lexa’s cousin was checking up on her, but the message itself confused Clarke a little, only the red, rubber balloon emoji. She was confused even more when Lexa just chuckled softly at the message and typed in a ‘rolling eyes’ emoji in response.

At first, she didn’t get the insinuation, that is until she looked up and saw the burning hot flush that had risen over Lexa’s face. She glanced back down towards Lexa’s phone, but instead of looking at the screen, she quickly became fixated on something else; the blaringly obvious, twitching, swollen bulge in Lexa’s pants. She made the connection pretty quickly after that; rubber balloon… rubbers… condoms! Clarke blushed just as deeply as Lexa then, but when she glanced back up she could see that Lexa had become suddenly very uncomfortable. Despite Lexa’s sour expression, Clarke thought it was the most adorable thing she’d ever seen, when Lexa gestured nervously between them and explained, “I— I’m sorry for Anya’s rude implication, but you should know… I am _prepared_ in that regard, if this were to, uh, escalate.”

Scrunching her face at Lexa’s almost stiff words and demeanor, Clarke thought maybe Lexa wasn’t as into her as she thought. It didn’t take her long to realize that the polite, yet firm tone was just Lexa’s way of making herself clear. Lexa had essentially said that, ‘Yes, she had condoms, and that they were going use them if they ‘escalated’ things.’ Honestly, that worked for Clarke, knowing that Lexa was concerned for her sexual health was actually comforting. Still, Clarke was determined to not to let them get derailed by something as simple as sexual safety. She draped her hand soothingly on top of Lexa’s thigh, trailing her fingertips down to Lexa’s knee as she said, “Don’t worry, Lexa, it’s ok. Safety’s cool. It’s good to know you’re _prepared_.” She suggestively wiggled her eyebrows when Lexa looked up at her, and her eyes lit up at the smile that beamed back at her from Lexa.

They settled back into each other then, enjoying the relative peace and quiet for a moment, only for Clarke’s phone to buzz somewhere inside the folds of her dress. She hated to, but she withdrew from Lexa’s embrace again to check the notification. It took a little rifling through the folds of her dress to find the pocket, but Clarke couldn’t help smiling when she found a message from Octavia waiting for her. She could almost hear O’s snarky tone as she read, ‘Oh! That’s ok. You can just tell Rae and I all about it tomorrow, after your brunch with your mom.’ As she was reading that though, another message popped up, simply, ‘We’re heading home too… Be safe!’ A little smirking emoji followed that, and Clarke quickly messaged back an ‘eye-roll’ emoji of her own, before tucking her phone back in her pocket.

The cabin of the car became quiet again, just the rushing of air as it moved over the car, and the mumbling of some talk radio show turned down too low to hear. It was almost so quiet, in fact, Clarke almost didn’t hear it when Lexa whispered, “so, Dante huh?”

Shaking her head as her brain tried to switch gears, Clarke barely managed to get her words in order before they started coming out of her mouth. She was sure she was about to ramble on, but she couldn’t help but be excited as she explained, “Yeah, they make you read all sorts of weird stuff in philosophy classes; Dante, Socrates, Nietzsche, and everything in between… I didn’t really like Dante when I had to read Inferno in high school, but his poetry… It’s like a whole other person wrote those poems. I got so into it I took an Italian elective the following semester, just so I could learn to read his work in his native tongue. Apparently, the Italian language has evolved a lot since the late 13th century though. I had to settle for the English translations, but still, his work… speaks to me. I memorized that one, because it’s my favorite.” She paused for a second, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious, but she quickly decided that she trusted Lexa and continued, “I say it to myself sometimes when I miss my dad. The bit about ‘two always being stronger than one;’ it makes me think about him every time. I mean, he always said, ‘Teamwork makes the dream work,’ but, yeah, you get the idea.” Lexa smiled at her so sweetly though, that Clarke didn’t even think about resisting when Lexa draped an arm around her shoulder and brought her in close again. The relative silence of the cab enveloped them again too, and Clarke hoped that whatever this thing with Lexa was, that this was really only the beginning of it.

 

~~~

 

After paying the driver his fare and a generous tip, Lexa smiled as she escorted Clarke inside and up to her apartment. She couldn’t keep herself from touching Clarke the entire time though; her hand finding the small of Clarke’s back and she ushered her through the door, Clarke’s hand entwining with her own as they walked across the lobby of her building, Lexa moving her hands to boldly bracket Clarke’s hips as Clarke went up the stairs in front of her. That move earned her a little squeak of surprise, but the way Clarke sighed right after let Lexa know her grip wasn’t unwelcome. When they finally reached Lexa’s door however, it was Lexa’s turn to squeak as she felt Clarke press up against her back. The contact was definitely distracting feeling Clarke’s body molding to her own, and as a result lexa fumbled with her keys as she tried to get the door open. She laughed though, when Clarke clung to her as they miss-stepped and stumbled through the door, both laughing and struggling to stay upright.

Once the door was closed and locked though, Clarke loosened her hold slightly and Lexa was quick to spin in her arms, wanting nothing more than to feel more of Clarke’s body against her own. Clarke gasped at the sudden movement, but Lexa just smiled as she pressed forward, catching Clarke’s lips with her own. Even muffled, Lexa knew a moan when she heard one, and the sound simply inspired her on. A moment later, she bent forward, keeping her lips pressed to Clarke’s as she slid her hands up under the sides of Clarke’s dress, quickly rucking it up onto her arms as she went. She didn’t need anything more than Clarke’s furious nodding, before her hands found the backs of Clarke’s thighs and with one smooth motion, she lifted Clarke off the floor. Lexa was glad when Clarke’s instincts kicked in, and Clarke’s legs quickly wrapped her hips. Feeling Clarke’s ankles lock together at the small of her back, Lexa fought down a groan, Clarke’s grip around her pulling them as close together as they could get with their clothes still on.

Speaking of, Lexa almost stumbled when Clarke’s shoes suddenly dropped to the floor just behind her feet. It was more the sound than anything else really, but Lexa couldn’t help the way it startled her, making her tighten her grip on Clarke’s ass. It felt so perfect in her hands, full and smooth and warmth, with only a thin layer of sheer fabric between them. The texture made her grip harder too, especially when she thought about taking that silky underwear off. She couldn’t keep herself from panting a few hot breaths against Clarke’s throat before she whispered, “I— I’ve been wanting to do that all night.” Clarke shivered at her words, and Lexa had to steel herself yet again, her instincts screaming at her to just push Clarke up against the door and take her. Instead, Lexa forced herself to take one step, and then another, and another, until she was slowly making her way towards her bedroom.

Feeling Clarke’s hot core move against her abs with every step made the trip that much harder, however. In fact, the constant contact made every inch of Lexa hard, until her instincts weren’t the only thing screaming at her. For the most part, Lexa tried to ignore the persistent ache between her thighs though, at least for the moment. She wanted to be able to do this right, wanted to lay Clarke out and spend the rest of the night catering to Clarke’s needs like the princess that she was, but then, as they approached her bedroom, Clarke’s scent flared, and Lexa nearly choked. The suffusing heat that had been teasing her all night, swirling and coiling just under the surface of Clarke’s scent, suddenly roared to life, and Lexa couldn’t help but get swept away by the flames.

A groan erupted from deep in her chest, but Clarke whimpered in response. The sound made Lexa’s next step falter, and she tried desperately to maintain control of herself. She barely managed to get them leaned up against the wall before she felt her knees go a little weak. She tried to speak, tried to check in and make sure they were still doing this, but all she got out was, “Clarke, I…” before her words were cut off by wild moan. Apparently, pressing Clarke against the wall was as appealing to Clarke as it was to her, but Lexa pushed through that heady feeling though. She still wanted to do this right, if they were even doing this at all. With that in mind, Lexa finally managed to pull back and say, “Clarke, do you st—”

Again, Clarke didn’t let her get very far, pushing forward until Lexa’s words got lost in the press of Clarke’s lips. It wasn’t a ‘yes,’ specifically, but when Clarke’s thighs tightened around her waist, Lexa wasn’t about to argue either. She simply tightened her hold on Clarke’s rear, and turned them back down the hall. The heat of Clarke’s core was so close that Lexa could almost feel her slickness already, but Lexa couldn’t let herself get distracted again, at least not until they were securely in her bedroom. That plan didn’t last very long though, when Clarke shifted against her, drawing the apex of her thighs roughly against her bulge. The sudden pressure made Lexa falter again, and again, she barely got Clarke up against the wall before Lexa dropped her right on her shapely rear. Clarke’s eyes blinked open at the pressure, and Lexa could see the heat haze had almost completely taken over. Calling Clarke out of it should have been easy, but after calling her name twice, and not getting any response, Lexa finally poured a little alpha influence into her voice when she tried to get Clarke’s attention again. That time seemed to do the trick, Clarke’s eyes flashing open as Lexa’s tongue clicked the final ‘k’ sound. Finally, with Clarke’s full attention, Lexa asked what she’d been trying to ask for the last five minutes, stumbling only a little as she said, “Are you… Is this ok?”

Clarke looked like she might physically melt at the tender words, the soft, lazy smile that graced her lips telling Lexa that she had said just the right thing. Truthfully, Lexa wanted nothing more than for this night to happen, but she would have gladly backed off, if that’s what Clarke needed. Her alpha wouldn’t have been pleased, as Lexa could feel her instincts stirring inside her just at the thought. She knew what her instincts wanted though, but that line of thinking was quickly broken when Clarke almost nervously replied, “Oh, yeah. No, no, I’m good… We’re good.” Lexa sighed in relief as she closed the short distance between their lips, kissing Clarke like she was never going to kiss anyone else ever again. The hard press of their lips seemed to bring more heat to Clarke’s already hot skin though, and Lexa herself flushed wherever they touched. It was so disorienting that Lexa nearly pulled back, but then Clarke whimpered against her lips, and said, “Uh, bedroom, soon, please?”

Letting out a grunt, Lexa hoisted Clarke further up into her arms, unable to resist a request like that. With Clarke’s heated core firmly pressed against her abs again, Lexa picked the pace, heading straight down the hall like she was possessed. She timed her turn just right, swinging them into her bedroom with a big sweeping motion, kicking the door closed with her heel as she went. Just as it clicked shut, Lexa’s alpha roared to the surface, quickly overpowering her good sense, and for a moment, Lexa simply couldn’t control herself anymore. She spun unexpectedly back towards the door and pressed Clarke up against it, immediately nuzzling her nose in under Clarke’s ear, scenting her deeply. With Clarke’s weight better supported, by both the door and Clarke’s legs still wrapped oh-so-tightly around her hips, Lexa finally allowed her hands to roam. She trailed them first up Clarke’s sides before moving over Clarke’s still fabric-covered chest. Clarke arched into her desperately, pressing herself forward for more contact, and Lexa happily obliged, squeezing when her hands settled over Clarke’s breasts. She could feel Clarke’s nipples, already puckered underneath the fabric of her dress, and Lexa groaned as she massaged them with her thumbs, feeling them harden even further under the attention.

So fixated on the little buds, straining against her hands, Lexa barely heard it when Clarke’s head dropped back against the door with a loud ‘thunk,’ but the sound only drove her on, forcing her to press herself in even closer. Clarke’s hips rocked forward into the pressure, and Lexa would swear in that moment she saw stars. She tried to focus though, as Clarke just keep pushing too, rocking her hips harder into Lexa’s abs with each broad, circling motion of Lexa’s thumbs. Clarke’s steady grinding was easily starting to carry them both away, but then Lexa heard Clarke choke out, “Lex-ah, do—don’t’… s-stop…” and Lexa was suddenly left reeling, using all her willpower just to stay upright.

There was a little hint of uncertainty in Clarke’s tone, and that was all it took. Lexa forced her hands away, slamming them into the door to keep herself from touching Clarke again. She couldn’t believe she’d let herself get so carried away so quickly. She could see Clarke’s mouth moving though; she was still speaking, Lexa just couldn’t hear the words. Her blood was thundering too hard in her ears, and she was too busy kicking herself for ruining things, to try to settle it. She had gotten swept up in the moment and had pushed too far too fast. She dropped her head onto Clarke’s shoulder and choked back the sob that was threatening to break free. She was suddenly angrier with herself than ever before, thinking, ‘Not only was I pretty much forcing myself on her… but now I’m gonna fucking cry about it? No way… Not today.’ She pulled herself together enough to lean her head back, distancing herself from Clarke as much as possible while they were still so entangled. She immediately moved to put Clarke down as well, but when she pushed lightly against the door, she realized Clarke’s ankles were still stubbornly locked behind her. She glanced back to Clarke’s face, not wanting Clarke to see her shame, but the look on Clarke’s face wasn’t angry or hurt, just confused and maybe a little frustrated. She watched as Clarke’s lips moved again, but she still couldn’t make out the words. At least, Clarke merely smiled at Lexa’s furrowed brow though, and began placing sweet kisses all over her face, starting with her forehead and working her way down to Lexa’s still slightly trembling lips.

Clarke’s heated scent combined with the tender kisses all but broke through her resolve, but then Clarke brought their lips together, and Lexa immediately stiffened again. Clarke had said stop and Lexa was determined to do just that, matter how hard it would be. When Clarke pulled back, gasping for air, Lexa saw her chance and called out, “Clarke? Wha-” Clarke didn’t give her a chance to continue though, kissing, and kissing, and kissing her until they were both gasping for air. Lexa shook her head slightly, trying not to let herself get lost in the fog of Clarke’s heat again. She still had to fight to pull away from Clarke though, and barely managed to get out, “Wha-, what are you doing? You told me to stop…” before Clarke was kissing her again.

Teetering on the edge of her control all over again, Lexa tried to resist as Clarke seized the sides of her face with her hands, but then Clarke simply pulled their lips apart instead of closer together. Lexa knew that this was it, Clarke was finally getting control over herself, but then she was surprised when Clarke all but growled, “Lexa! Listen to me! I did say ‘stop,’ but I also said ‘don’t’ right before, so will you… will you just take my damn dress off already?” Clarke’s words didn’t really make sense even then, not until Clarke rolled her shoulders and her hips at the same time, moving her ample cleavage right up in front of Lexa’s face.

Despite herself, Lexa felt her length give heavy throb at the sight. Clarke must have felt it too because she just kept grinding herself forward, pressing the heat of her sex more and more firmly against Lexa’s abs; to the point where Lexa was sure there was a wet spot on the front her vest from the contact. She groaned at Clarke’s undulating against her, and with gulping swallow, she managed to whisper, “Clarke, I— Only if you’re sure?” She almost couldn’t believe her eyes when Clarke nodded so furiously that the movement caused her already heaving bosom to bump in her chin.

Suddenly needing to fell those breasts in her hands, and without any barriers in between, Lexa moved like lightning then, her hands scrambling to get in between Clarke and the door. She quickly found the zipper though, and Lexa shuddered as she began pulling the tab down. It felt like the longest unzipping of Lexa’s life, but truly, it was over before she even had the chance to blink. Time seemed to almost stop when she reached the bottom of that zipper anyway though. Every second stretched, each one feeling more like an hour, but as Lexa locked eyes with Clarke, she immediately wished that moment would last forever. Still, she was on a mission and she hesitated only for another second before she moved both hands down under Clarke’s bare thighs again, and murmured softly, “down.”

The whine Clarke released was obviously as much disappointment as discomfort, and Lexa tried to be gentle as she steadied Clarke on her shaky legs. When Clarke seemed stable though, Lexa didn’t waste another moment before she slipped the straps of Clarke’s dress off her shoulders. It slumped down in the front before quickly puddling into a pile at Clarke’s feet. Lexa gasped at the sight of Clarke standing there in front of her in her matching bra and briefs. The deep royal blue caught in Clarke’s already darkened eyes and Lexa was left rooted there, mouth slack and gaze hungry. She was barely aware of Clarke’s chuckle, but when she took a step towards her, and tentatively brushing her fingers against her slack jaw, Lexa clacked her teeth together instinctively. Clarke squealed in surprise, but the sound only made Lexa grin, delighted in hearing Clarke so happy and playful. She swiftly closed the remaining distance between them, scooping a laughing Clarke up into her arms again. She draped her exposed arms around Clarke’ soft sides, relishing in the skin to skin contact. Clarke was warm, and her skin was soft, and it felt like paradise was right there in her arms. Their lips met over and over then; some kisses were soft and sweet and brief, happening in between panted breaths, but the rest of the time those kisses were the cause of that panting, all hard and hungry and heated.

As they kissed, Lexa felt Clarke grumbling against her lips, but before she could pull away to figure out what was wrong, Clarke’s hands were pushing in between them and frantically fumbling with the buttons of her vest. Lexa would have chuckled at Clarke’s urgency, if she wasn’t feeling every bit as urgent. The idea of feeling more of Clarke’s skin against her own was overwhelmingly tempting. She pulled back to give Clarke a little more room then, keeping her hands gripped firmly onto Clarke’s sides, not wanting to let go for anything. Clarke continued to fumble with her buttons though, even with the extra space, and when Clarke whined in frustration, Lexa did actually laugh a little bit. The way Clarke looked at her then shut her right up however, and she quickly looked down, feeling sort of embarrassed. She knew how to make it up to Clarke, seeing that only the last button of her vest was still holding on. She released her grip on Clarke’s waist, gripping the sides of her vest instead, and then yanked it open. That last stubborn button popped off and ricocheted across the room. Obviously, Clarke appreciated the move, immediately sliding her hands under the open garment, and Lexa sighed as the skin of their bellies finally met. All she could think was, ‘So, so, so much skin.’

Sinking into the embrace, Lexa felt Clarke’s hands roam up her back, fingernails digging in slightly before dragging back down again. It wasn’t a harsh drag of desperation, more like Clarke was tracing the lines on her muscles. When Clarke reached where her bra should have been, she groaned, and Lexa figured Clarke liked what she had found. Of course, Lexa wasn’t wearing a bra, how could she with the revealing nature of the vest, and that groan told her that Clarke had just caught on to that fact. Lexa groaned a little too, at the light draw of Clarke’s fingers, but before she could complain about how brief the contact was, Clarke’s hands were moving to push her vest down off her shoulders. She let her hands fall to her sides, and the vets quickly dropped to the floor. Those perfect hands quickly returned to Lexa’s chest though, and she gasped as Clarke simply palmed her breasts. She pressed into those hands as Clarke began to squeeze and massage, but then Clarke’s fingertips brushed over her nipples, and Lexa gasped again as they drew up to an almost-instant, painful sort of hardness. They weren’t the only part of her that was painfully hard either, but Lexa panted through the throbbing surges coming from her loins. She wasn’t going to allow herself to get wrapped up in her own needs, not again anyway. She wanted to try to keep a clearer head so there wouldn’t be any more misunderstandings.

That was more difficult than Lexa imagined though when Clarke’s hands continued to slide all over her chest and abs. Still, she managed to focus long enough to flip open the closure of Clarke’s bra. As it sprang open, Lexa felt Clarke’s nails dig into the flesh of her stomach. The slight pain sent another surge down, but Lexa bit the inside of her cheek, trying to turn her body’s attention elsewhere. She needed to make this about Clarke again, about pleasing her, about touching her, because god, did she want to touch her. Inspired by desire, Lexa pulled away, trailing her fingers along the straps of Clarke’s bra until the front loosened. It fell away with just the slightest bit of pressure then, finally revealing Clarke’s full bosom to Lexa’s almost leering glare. Her mouth fell open again at the sight of Clarke’s already taut nipples, begging for her hands or her mouth. She was so transfixed that she almost didn’t hear Clarke’s soft laugh. Lexa didn’t care if she was gaping like a fish out of water, Clarke’s breasts were too perfect not to spend a moment spent in awe of them. When Clarke moved to playfully close her mouth again, Lexa saw an opportunity to play too, and dodged around Clarke’s hand just in time. She snapped her jaw shut again then, only this time a hair’s breadth away from Clarke’s throat.

 

~~~

 

The sharp movements made Clarke blinked furiously, a little shocked and more than a little overstimulated. Then the sound of Lexa’s teeth snapping together hit her ears and she thought she might just snap too. The sudden rush of sensations forced her breath to catch hard in her chest, and for a moment all she could do was wheeze. Her whole body was screaming, ‘Yes, God, Yes, Bite Me, Please,’ Deep down, Clarke recognized that for what it was, her heat hormones boiling to the surface yet again. She tamped her omega down as best she could and pulled back from Lexa just the slightest bit. She immediately sensed Lexa’s hesitation though, and when Lexa took a full step back, Clarke barely stopped herself from just falling to her knees and begging. She knew Lexa was trying to make this all consensual and safe, but in that moment, Clarke needed Lexa to just _take_ her.

Gathering herself, Clarke forced herself to relax, allowed herself to feel comforted by Lexa’s obvious concern about consent. Lexa took another step back and Clarke couldn’t stop herself from following, taking two steps forward for Lexa’s one back. Eventually, Lexa backed herself all the way across the room into a dresser. She almost felt concerned when Lexa squeaked, her rump bumping into the edge of the furniture, but then she smiled when she saw Lexa’s hands desperately grasped onto the edge as well. She stopped her advance, keeping herself a full step away. She didn’t want to corner Lexa, but she did want the alpha’s full attention for a second. She reached out gently and tipped Lexa’s face up, diverting Lexa’s eyes from where they had focused intently on her own feet. She could only smile wider when Lexa whined a little in discomfort, hoping to soothe the sound as she said, “Lexa, it’s ok. I just got— I got a little overwhelmed… I think, uh, my heat is coming a little faster than either of us figured and you’re m-my first, uh…” Clarke broke off in a whimper, her face flushing hotly with sudden embarrassment. She hadn’t meant to say that, she hadn’t meant to tell Lexa that this was her first time with an alpha. It seemed that cat was out of the bag though, so she decided to push on, quietly adding, “This’ll be my first time with an alpha, but I trust you, ok? I know you won’t hurt me...”

Letting her voice trail off again, Clarke waited for the inevitable smirk to cross Lexa’s face, but she was surprised when Lexa merely groaned and purred, “God, you’re so… so beautiful, Clarke.” Clarke immediately pressed closer into Lexa’s space again, unable to help herself. Lexa held her at arms-length for a moment though, appraising her as she seemed to gather her will. Lexa’s face turned serious and she adopted a more solemn, almost reverent, tone as she added, “I want this, you, so bad, Clarke, but we don’t have to… if you’re having second thoughts, I can just…”

Lexa’s voice trailed off then, her meaning implied, but still very obvious. Lexa was saying that she would get redressed right then and go sleep in the spare room in that’s what Clarke wanted. She would call a cab and escort Clarke to it, if Clarke said she needed to leave. Clarke just wasn’t sure where Lexa was getting those ideas. She had been trying to give clear signals, and despite their little miscommunication earlier, she thought they were on the right track. She looked down then, hoping to steel her nerve, only to notice that her own hands were fidgeting anxiously at her sides. Clarke admitted it then, at least to herself; she was a little nervous. She was nervous because that totally primal part of Lexa scared her. She knew she was ready, to do all sorts of things with Lexa, but then Lexa’s teeth had clacked shut beside her neck. In that instant, Clarke realized that she wanted Lexa to bite her, would probably let her if she tried. Her instincts were screaming for it, but she wasn’t ready for something like that. True, she felt more connected to Lexa than she should, especially after only known each other a few hours, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to beg for it anyway.

Pushing through all that was easier said than done, but eventually, Clarke reached up and tenderly cupped Lexa’s cheek with her hand. When Lexa’s eyes focused back on her, Clarke cleared her throat a little, so she could explain, “Lexa, I’m not having second thoughts. I just, I don’t think I’m ready for a bite, you know… I mean, you can absolutely bite me, because yes, please, but—” She shook her head when her eyes began to gloss over, the idea of Lexa’s teeth sinking into all sorts of places making her struggle to stay centered. After a deep breath, she managed to clarify, saying almost calmly, “What I’m trying to say is that we just met and I’m not ready for a mark...” Somewhere, her subconscious finished that sentence for her though, ‘not yet.’

Not sure what kind of reaction to expect, Clarke shied away a little bit when Lexa hesitated to reply. Lexa just chased her though, moving off of the dresser to reclose the distance between them. Clarke didn’t know how relieved she could be from just that one step. She sank into Lexa’s arms when she heard Lexa say, “Clarke, I’m right there with you, ok? You can trust me. I won’t lose control… I promise.” That was enough for Clarke; it was more than enough really, but then Lexa sealed her promise by pressing their lips together. It was one of the sweetest moments Clarke had ever experienced, but it didn’t last nearly long enough. She nearly died when she felt Lexa pull back again, but then Lexa huffed against her mouth, “Clarke, can… can I?” It took Clarke a second to realize Lexa had an index finger tucked into either side of her briefs and was obviously struggling to keep herself from just yanking them off her hips.

Wanting just that, Clarke nodded vigorously, but when Lexa didn’t move her hands down, she whined in frustration and huffed, “Yes, please, Lexa. God, just take them off, or so help me...” She couldn’t keep going, not when Lexa’s fingers tightened at her hips and her underwear began slowly trailing down her legs. It was like the zipper all over again, Lexa drawing it out just to torture her. By the time she looked down and saw Lexa kneeling at her feet, Clarke was shaking violently, her knees weak and her pulse roaring. Then she felt Lexa’s hot breath hovering near her core, and she almost fell over. If not for Lexa’s hands flying to her hips to steady her, she probably would have. When that hot breath came closer, Clarke couldn’t help it; she flailed, totally overwhelmed by Lexa’s nose brushing through her curls. She grasped the top of Lexa’s head with both hands then, desperate for anything to ground her, because she was definitely about to float away.

It seemed her gripped encouraged Lexa too, and after only another moment, Lexa was nuzzling in closer. Clarke’s grip turned to iron when she felt just the tip of Lexa’s nose dip in between her outer lips. Her thighs clenched together on instinct when she felt Lexa groan against her sex, Lexa obviously thrilled by her rougher grip. Clarke could feel how wet she was long before Lexa’s hot breath had tickled over her the first time, but the chill that followed each of Lexa’s inhales told Clarke she had tipped over into ‘dripping’ territory. She whined again, wrenching her grip in Lexa’s hair, when Lexa placed a soft kiss over the curls and then drew back. Lexa was quick to soothe her disappointment though, kissing and nipping as she made way back up. Clarke’s eyes went a little wide when she realized she didn’t even remember stepping out of her underwear, but then Lexa cooed, “Shhh… It’s ok, Clarke. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” All thoughts of her missing briefs disappeared.

When her calves suddenly hit the side of the bed, Clarke paused and pulled back just enough to catch Lexa’s face with her hands. She was melting before Lexa’s eyes, she knew it, but she needed the eye contact, needed to know Lexa wasn’t going to stop again. If she did, Clarke wasn’t sure she could be held accountable for what happened after that. They stared into each other for only a moment before Lexa nodded. Clarke allowed Lexa to ease her down onto the bed then, Lexa urging her to sit right on the edge. Clarke marveled at how Lexa wasted no time worrying about it how it would look, as she knelt at her feet again. The image of Lexa submitting herself like that, drove Clarke over the edge, and she finally surrendered herself to her own arousal. She moaned as Lexa lifted her thighs and draped them over her shoulders, Clarke going almost limp under her touch. She couldn’t help but squirm though, as Lexa placed hot, open-mouthed kisses all over her abs and hips, only to trail her kisses down to the insides of her thighs, completely avoiding her aching sex. Unable to control herself, Clarke jumped and jerked and bucked as Lexa moved her way up one thigh, before starting back at her knee and inching her way back up the other towards her center. Clarke felt her heat take over fully in that moment, with Lexa’s lips, and tongue, and teeth becoming more insistent the closer she came to her goal.

A stuttering whine broke free from her lips when Lexa nipped and then sucked hard at one spot that was particularly sensitive. Fire was roaring across Clarke’s skin, searing its way through her veins before driving deep into her belly. Her hips jerked up immediately, desperately, and she couldn’t even think enough anymore to be embarrassed or uncomfortable, simply too racked up in her desire to think much past, ‘More. Now.’ Somewhere in the back of her head though, Clarke knew Lexa was probably leaving a mark, but that same part of her reveled in the idea of having the evidence of where Lexa had been bruised into her body. She couldn’t dwell on why for long as Lexa began soothing the sting of her teeth with some broad strokes of her tongue. The strokes were relaxing, even if they weren’t where Clarke felt like she needed them. The tension Clarke had felt building inside her ebbed slightly. Lexa kept lapping at her flesh though, over and over, each stroke inching ever closer to Clarke’s achingly slick heat. “Fin— Finally!” Clarke cried out, both in pleasure and relief, when Lexa’s tongue finally slipped along her puffy outer lips for the first time. All Clarke could concentrate on was how close Lexa was getting… _so, so close_ … but when Lexa huffed a groan into her sex, Clarke’s arousal suddenly spiked. Her hands clenched in the comforter for only a moment before she groaned herself. The blankets weren’t enough, she needed more. Instinct drove her on again, and she reached down with both of hands and scrunched her fingers into Lexa’s braids instead. She drew her nails across the back of Lexa’s scalp, hips bucking wildly, as she whined desperately, “ _Lek-sa! Please_.”

Huffing in annoyance, Clarke felt it when Lexa smirked into her skin. She didn’t think about that smug look for long though, not when she could wipe that smirk right off of Lexa’s face. She gave Lexa’s hair one good jerk then, pulling Lexa just where she needed her, and then began shamelessly grinding herself over Lexa’s face. She didn’t get very far with that either though, when Lexa growled into her sex. Clarke stilled instantly, hearing the call for challenge in Lexa’s voice. She was so close though, and she could feel her slick heat dripping down between her cheeks; she was making a mess and she knew it, but god, she did not care. It was as if that growl had opened a flood gate, and Clarke knew the only way for it to stop was for her to come. She wanted to start grinding again, needed to, but when Lexa flattened and widened her tongue, Clarke shivered and groaned instead. The long flat slops of Lexa’s tongue made her legs fall open even wider. Her omega instincts screamed at her to give Lexa all the access she needed. It was like a dream come true when Lexa began collecting the fresh wetness onto her tongue, growling again as she covered all of Clarke’s core with one long, slow lick. It was incredible, the tip of Lexa’s tongue brushing just inside her entrance before oh-so-slowly traveling upward towards victory.

Unable to stop the sound, Clarke moaned, but her throat tightened as Lexa moved higher and higher, until finally she was squealing. Lexa’s tongue finally flicked over her clit, and Clarke knew she was lost. She jerked away when Lexa hummed against her then, the vibration combined with the contact suddenly too much to bear. A tight ‘ha’ sound escaped her lips as Lexa descended again, only to repeat the long, slow lick finished with that same quick flick, and then over and over and over again. Clarke felt Lexa wince against her as her grip tightened like a vise in Lexa’s hair again, but Clarke was way too far gone to stop herself. She sighed as Lexa continued, but at the end of the next swipe of her tongue, Lexa gently sucked her clit into her mouth. The sudden overwhelming warmth, and the slowly rolling tongue, did it. Clarke couldn’t hold back if she wanted to; there was too much going on to turn back. She was definitely going to come all over Lexa’s face, whether she wanted to or not. “Lex, I… I—” was all Clarke could choke out, as she panted and moaned, hips jerking and world spinning, her whole existence teetering on the edge with her.

Another hot gush of wetness rushed from her opening, and Clarke could feel it ready to drip, but not even a single drop escaped as Lexa’s tongue suddenly drove inside her. She hissed and keened as Lexa curled and wiggled her way inside, but then Lexa’s grip tightened at her hips and Clarke found herself being slammed into Lexa’s waiting face. It felt so good to have Lexa pushing inside her, in any way she could get, even if it wasn’t the stretch her body was craving. It felt so good in fact that for a moment Clarke forgot all about her impending orgasm, and simply surrendered herself to Lexa’s rhythm, riding the wave of sensations as Lexa’s tongue drove inside her over and over and over. If this was what sex with Lexa was going to be like, Clarke never wanted it to end.

 

~~~

 

Trying to be gentle, Lexa took things slow for as long as she could. She loved the way Clarke tasted though, sweet and salty, honeyed and bitter, and the more Clarke filled her mouth with wetness, the more her mouth watered for more. She didn’t want to go too fast however, especially after her tongue dipped inside Clarke for the first time. Clarke was undeniably tight, to the point where she knew that if she didn’t warm Clarke up a little bit, she’d end up hurting her when they moved on to other things. Clarke’s tightness made so much sense though. Clarke hadn’t ever been with an alpha before; she’d said so herself. Even though the thought had thrilled Lexa at the time, she also knew that alphas, male or female, tended to be longer and wider than beta males, and the last thing Lexa wanted to do was rush and end up tearing Clarke in her over-eagerness. Lexa found she _wanted_ to go slow too. She wanted to be the best Clarke had ever had, wanted to bring Clarke to heights no one else had ever helped her reach. So, when Clarke was finally laid out before her, bare and wet, she set herself to the task with the devotion of a saint, easily ignoring her own needs, in favor of making sure that Clarke had the time of her life. She worked her up and up and up, getting Clarke right to the edge before she finally pulled away from Clarke’s sex, gasping for air. She repeated the process a few times too, but every time, it was all she could do to pull herself away.

Fighting her most basic instincts got more and more difficult as time went on too, until eventually she had to pull away to keep herself from blacking out due to lack of oxygen. When Clarke keened at the loss of contact, Lexa nearly drove right back in, but she really needed to catch her breath. She could tell Clarke was nearly at the edge of what she could take though. She pulled back far enough to truly survey how wet Clarke was then, too see for herself if Clarke was ready for her. For just a moment, Lexa marveled, realizing a string of fluid was clinging to her lip. She eyed it, hanging in the air below her chin as it ran all the way back to its origin. When her eyes focused again, she took in the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Clarke’s glistening folds were red and swollen from stimulation, but obviously shivering in anticipation of more. When the clear strand of fluid finally broke across Clarke’s skin, she groaned deep in her throat, quickly chasing the fleeting string of Clarke’s arousal right back to Clarke’s over sensitive sex. Clarke whimpered louder, jerking and trembling beneath her. Lexa moved immediately to sooth her, kissing along the insides of Clarke’s thighs again, first one and then the other, as she moved them tenderly off her shoulders.

Hearing Clarke’s appreciative groan had Lexa kissing her way up Clarke’s body at a more rushed pace. She quickly braced her weight with one hand as she leaned over Clarke’s body, ready to finally pay Clarke’s full, perfect breasts the attention they so rightfully deserved. She reveled in how firm they were, rolling over one with her free hand while her mouth worked over the other. She sucked at Clarke’s skin, and licked around the pebbled nipple. When she felt satisfied that Clarke’s nipple would stay hard, she nibbled her way back and forth across the underside of Clarke’s breast, leaving little imprints of her teeth along the way. With every touch, Clarke writhed under her, even as Clarke’s hands clutched at her, pulling her closer. Lexa groaned against the skin beneath her lips as Clarke’s grip flinched in her hair. Taking that as a sign for more, Lexa pulled Clarke’s nipple into her mouth again, her fore-finger and thumb finding the other. The one caught in her fingers, she pinched hard, rolling it back and forth almost roughly, even as her lips and tongue at suckled softly the other.

It didn’t take long before Lexa felt Clarke’s hips jerk up in search of friction. Lexa smirked when she realized the mixed sensations were driving Clarke absolutely, fucking wild. She continued to torment one and treat the other as she delighted in the sweet moans and choked groans as they broke from Clarke’s lips. It was beyond satisfying to hear Clarke’s breath catch hard in her chest, but Lexa simply pinched more firmly and let her teeth squeeze down. She kept the grip of her teeth light though. Clarke moaned and jerked again, and Lexa’s smirk widened, stretching her lips back from Clarke’s flesh, thoroughly bearing Clarke’s wet nipple to the air. Clarke sucked in a gasping breath and Lexa hissed as well, the sudden chill against Clarke’s already sensitive nipple obviously causing her to shiver. Lexa groaned as Clarke’s hips went crazy under her. Lexa couldn’t help it though as Clarke’s core finally found some purchase against her still-clothed, throbbing bulge.

Pushing aside her own needs again was easy though, when Clarke’s resulting whine nearly broke Lexa’s heart. She could hear the desperation, the need and she moved immediately to soothe Clarke’s distress. She released Clarke’s nipples, both from between her fingers and her teeth, without a second thought, and quickly brought her hand back down to cup Clarke’s sex, hoping to offer her support, her promise of more. When Clarke recoiled, Lexa brought herself to an abrupt halt, pulling her hand away as if she’d been burned by the heat of Clarke’s core. She didn’t get far though, before Clarke whined, desperately clutching at her all over again, as she croaked out, “No, Lexa, I… I ne-ed you, need you, inside, it— it hurts.”

Lexa’s chest felt empty when she heard Clarke sound so desperate, so despondent. Clarke’s pained words echoed through her, and she realized she knew exactly what Clarke meant. Even though Clarke wasn’t fully into her heat, Lexa knew Clarke was probably still trying to deal with an overwhelming desire to be filled, along with all manner of other irresistible sensations. Clarke’s body was probably manifesting her needs as physical pain, maybe even actually cramping up her muscles under the stress. Craving to satiate that need and put an end to Clarke’s pain, Lexa immediately moved to shuffle Clarke up the bed, so that Clarke’s back would be better supported by the pillows against the headboard.

“I know, beautiful, I’m here. I’m gonna take such good care of you, I promise. Just gimme one more second, ok?” Lexa murmured against Clarke’s lips, kissing her sweetly before she crawled back and off of the bed. The drawn-out whimper from behind her only made Lexa move that much faster as she tore off her boots. She quickly followed by stripping out of her jeans. She heaved a heavy sigh when her shaft finally… _finally_ … sprang free. Her stained, soaked boy-shorts were probably a lost cause, but she didn’t care, not with Clarke still whimpering behind her. She caught sight of the angry, red tip though, wincing slightly when just thought of finally burying herself inside Clarke caused her to throb heavily. She felt her skin begin to tingle and even though she was distracted, she glanced over her shoulder. Instead of finding Clarke still laid out on the bed, she found Clarke crawling towards her, looking feral and intense; all wild, sex hair and blacked-out irises. “Clarke,” Lexa barked, more out of shock at the way Clarke was looking at her than anything else, but when Clarke froze at her unintentionally commanding tone, Lexa struggled to breathe. A noticeable shiver of arousal ran down Clarke’s spine, and Lexa realized that if she didn’t get herself together and soon, Clarke was going to jump her… condom or no condom.

With Clarke’s advance stalled, at least for the moment, Lexa quickly dashed to her nightstand and removed one from the box in top drawer. She double checked the date printed on the foil before she ripped the top off and yanked the rubber out of the package. Before she could move to put it on though, a pair of pale arms intruded from around her back, stilling her hands.  Lexa sank into Clarke’s arms unconsciously, Clarke whirring softly, cooing and purring. Lexa could smell her scent so clearly; Clarke was obviously trying to pump out her most subtle, sexy pheromones, and to be honest, Lexa wasn’t sure how much more she could take. Clarke’s hands traced her own, and when Clarke’s fingers closed over the rubber of the condom, Lexa let her have it. Clarke took a step back then, and lexa couldn’t stop herself from spinning on the spot, suddenly confused. Clarke’s eyes were dark, glassy and hazed by desire, but Lexa couldn’t figure out what she was looking at. She followed Clarke’s eyeline then, right to her own core. Her shaft was fully-hard, had been for a while, but even as Clarke stared at her, Lexa felt it pulse, hardening further. Lexa almost laughed when Clarke’s tongue slipped from in between her lips, subconsciously wetting them. The move made Clarke look like she needed hydration, and only the kind that Lexa could give her. Unable to hold it all in though, Lexa cleared her throat and lightly teased, “You, uh, look a little thirsty there, Clarke. You need me to get you some water?”

Unfortunately for Lexa though, Clarke didn’t exactly think her joke was funny. When Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes then, for just a moment, Lexa couldn’t help but think, ‘Maybe she’ll wait to bite my head off until after we’ve had sex…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... That's a cliffhanger... Sorry, not sorry...
> 
> Anyway, stay tuned... I have a ton of time to proof tomorrow. Cross your fingers and maybe I'll get a chapter (if not two) up tomorrow...


	7. The Exchange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I imagine that this will not be the chapter you're hoping for, but never fear. I proofed like a mad woman today and I have two beautiful chapters to show for my efforts. I'm posting them separately, in the order in which I wrote them, because I feel like it adds an element of suspense, but feel free to read them out of order if you want. This chapter picks up essentially where chapter five left off. Chapter eight will be the continuation of chapter six. I'll let you decide how thirsty you are... 
> 
> Heh... get it? thirsty?
> 
> Anyway... On with the story...

When her phone buzzed in her hand, Octavia immediately pulled it up to check to the message. She didn’t really think it would be Anya, seeming as she’d just left her in the hall, but there was still a little hope anyway. It was Clarke though, saying wasn’t going to be home that night, and Octavia realized she really couldn’t be happier for her friend. Clarke definitely needed to get laid. She shot back a quick text to let Clarke know that she would settle for hearing all about the affair tomorrow. She wasn’t particularly interested in the details, but if she wasn’t getting some for her birthday, at least she could enjoy Clarke’s adventures vicariously. Not having Clarke home would just make it easier for Octavia to drop the bomb on Raven. It really was a win-win.

As she made her way back over to the bar, Octavia watched sadly as Raven sat slumped on her stool. She heaved a defeated sigh, trying to keep her own shit together, and slogged over to her friend. Raven seemed to sense her approach, and turned towards her with hopeful eyes, but then Raven’s face sank again, when she obviously realized Octavia wasn’t Abby. That hopeful look made Octavia even more determined to tell Raven the truth, because that’s what her friend needed. Raven didn’t deserve to hang in limbo, not knowing what was wrong, not even knowing anything was wrong. When she finally got close enough to be heard over the music, she said, “Hey Rae, so, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news…”

Her heart felt heavy when Raven looked back at her with a grimace, but Raven, never having been one to drag painful things out, replied frankly, “Just spit it out, O.”

Expecting that kind of response, Octavia only bristled a little bit at Raven’s sharp tone. She wasn’t sure whether her touch would be welcome or not, but she reached her hand out and brushed it over Raven’s shoulder as she said, “I’m sorry, but I think Abby left.”

Raven didn’t question her, just sighed in disappointment and immediately started to get up from the bar. Octavia could see the hurt in Raven’s eyes when she turned to her and said, “Well… I’m heading home then. You coming or going?”

That blasé tone made Octavia wince, because she knew Raven was fully expecting to be going home alone. It made her heart hurt even more, thinking of Raven going home alone, in the already tender state she was in. She was glad that wasn’t the case too, and she simply stepped closer and put an arm around Raven’s back. Raven stiffened a little, but Octavia didn’t let go, squeezing a little tighter around Raven’s shoulder as she said, “I already said goodnight to Anya… I’m going home with you, if that’s alright?” Octavia knew that sometimes Raven needed time totally alone to process her feelings, and with how much Raven had to deal with on a daily basis, she wanted to be considerate and offer to leave Raven be. She could always go sleep on Bellamy’s couch if Raven did need to be alone, even if her brother would give her a hard time about it.

It was a long moment before Raven made any kind of response, leaving Octavia feeling a little uncomfortable. She pushed down on that feeling though, when Raven shook her head and whispered, “no, I… I definitely shouldn’t be alone right now.”

The words came out more like a whine, and Octavia instantly knew Raven and Abby had had something special going. She’d never heard her friend make a sound like that before, that tinny whine that sounded a lot like heartbreak. Slipping her arm down around Raven’s waist, Octavia steadied her as they started to make their way towards the door. When Raven leaned into her more than normal though, Octavia didn’t think much of it, just took one of Raven’s hands in her own and said, “It’s ok, little bird… let’s get you home.”

They made it mostly out of the club before Raven’s thigh seized up. Octavia could feel it in Raven’s shifting jerking movements. The muscles in her thigh were probably tighter than a drum head, and Octavia knew it was only partially due to dehydration. The stress of the evening was getting to Raven, and if Octavia didn’t know it before, she surely knew it then. Raven’s leg was always worse when she was stressed. Not wanting to stop and draw attention to it, Octavia supported Raven as best she could as they hobbled out the front door. A little way down the block Raven’s grip on Octavia’s hip actually started to get a little painful, and Octavia knew Raven needed a break. She led Raven over to the wall, so she could lean against it for a minute, hoping being able to take weight of her leg would help. What Raven needed, was for Octavia to release the knot, and even though Octavia had done it for her several times, she still hesitated for a moment before she asked, “Do you want me to fix it or you wanna just deal with it?”

Watching as Raven contemplated both of those painful options, Octavia knew what she was thinking. Just dealing with her cramp meant a little pain, and an increased restriction of blood flow to Raven’s lower leg; at least until the cramp worked itself out. On the other hand, fixing it meant an intense massage that would probably hurt more than the cramp itself. Raven wasn’t scared of pain, Octavia knew that, but the fact that Raven would have to endure that kind of pain in public would be the deal breaker. As Raven glanced around, Octavia felt so bad for her. There was no way Raven was going to let her release the knot there. They were standing in full view of anyone who passed by, barely 15 feet away from the main entrance to the club. There was no one else out there with them at the moment, but it wouldn’t be long before someone came along. Octavia could hear Raven’s teeth grind together as her jaw clenched. Octavia knew what was coming before Raven even growled it, “Let’s just go.” Raven pushed off the wall and hobbled a few steps, but Octavia managed to catch up to her just as Raven wobbled dangerously to the side. Raven fell in against her, but Octavia just slipped her arm around Raven’s waist on her bad side, and let Raven use her shoulder kind of like a crutch.

They shuffled down the sidewalk together, going at about the fastest pace Octavia thought Raven could maintain. As they approached the corner, Octavia sighed a little, thinking about getting to the taxi stand so Raven could rest and try to relax while they waited. When they turned the corner though, instead of a taxi stand all she saw was more sidewalk. Octavia mumbled, sort of unconsciously, “But… she said it was right around the corner?”

Of course, just because Octavia was talking to herself didn’t mean Raven wasn’t going to answer, and she had to fight back a frustrated groan as Raven sarcastically replied, “Well, did we go the wrong way out of the club?”

Not in the mood, Octavia huffed, looking back towards the club as she grumbled, “I don’t know, Rae, but it’s probably all the way on the other side of the block from us now. Should we just keep going? I mean, at this point, it doesn’t matter, right?” Raven obviously wasn’t pleased, but thankfully, she nodded nonetheless, so Octavia just did her best to keep Raven upright as they continued their trudge in silence. When they reached the next corner, Octavia took a deep breath, gratefully thinking only one more block, but then she smelled them before she saw them. A little alarmed, she nudged Raven in the ribs and whispered, “You smell that?” She wasn’t sure what sort of response she was expecting, but when she felt Raven’s hand cover her own and tap once at her skin, Octavia immediately picked up what Raven was putting down; one for yes, two for no. She asked her next question in that same hushed whisper, “You think they’re following us?”

Another tap, and Octavia felt her heart flutter. She was so focused on their stalkers that she barely heard Raven when she murmured a question of her own in return, simply “How many?” Octavia took in a deep breath, stilling her nerves for a second before she tap, tap, tapped Raven’s hip. Raven’s skin instantly tensed under her touch and Octavia heard a huffed, “shit,” in response. It was only another second before Raven shakily whispered another question, “you have a plan?”

Octavia didn’t want to admit it, but she’d really didn’t. Her heart was hammering, and she was scared, and she knew Raven was scared too. If it was just one, Octavia knew they would have been walking away from a bleeding body in no time. Hell, if it had just been two, she knew she could manage both of them, putting one down while the other was getting up, until hopefully they didn’t get back up anymore. But three, _Three!_ She didn’t like those odds at all, especially when Raven couldn’t run. She tapped Raven’s hip only one more time anyway though, because she knew that no matter what happened, she wouldn’t let anything happen to Raven, useless it was over her unconscious, or dead, body. She picked up their pace just a little bit and when Raven grunted in pain from taking too much weight on her bad leg, Octavia grabbed her hand and growled, “Just keep walking, Reyes. Just. Keep. Walking.”

Her gritted teeth and growled words seemed to be all the encouragement Raven needed though. She knew Raven’s next step had to hurt, but Raven just straightened up a little and clenched her jaw. When Raven’s bad leg took her weight again, Octavia heard Raven breathe out through the pain. Raven repeated that every step they took, and eventually, Octavia picked up their pace a little more, praying to gain any distance they could on their pursuers. She could hear the strangers behind them then though, boisterous laughter getting louder, stumbling footsteps shuffling ever closer, all despite their increased gait. When Octavia realized they would at least make the corner before their stalkers caught up to them, she knew all wasn’t lost. She could get Raven to the taxi stand, and if it was like every other stand in the city, it would be a perfect place for Raven to defend herself. The steel hand rails that defined where to line up would provide Raven with support while also giving her an obstacle to keep between herself and their stalkers. And, that would leave Octavia with both hands free, unhindered, and she smirked as she thought, ‘Get knocked down, get back up.’ _If_ she was going down, she was taking as many of them with her as she could, she was sure of that.

When they finally turned the corner, and Octavia laid eyes on the taxi stand, she couldn’t help the way her mouth twisted up then. Standing there, arms folded over her chest, looking super-hot and kind of pissed, was Anya. Octavia almost laughed when she realized that was what Raven and Clarke had meant by ‘a serious case of resting bitch face.’ She couldn’t help thinking Anya looked perfectly fine to her, all sharp highlights and even sharper shadows. When Anya finally looked up at her and their eyes met, any doubts Octavia had about facing whoever was behind her rapidly drifted away.

 

~~~

 

Watching Octavia’s retreating back for a moment, Anya silently wished her luck, relieved that she didn’t have to be the one to break the ‘Abby News’ to Raven. She wanted to stick around the club a while longer, not quite ready for the night to be over, but without Octavia around to shower with attention, Anya found herself at a loss. She set out to see if she could find Lexa and Clarke, mostly because she really didn’t want to be alone. That right there should have told her something about the kind of effect Octavia had already had on her. Usually, she didn’t have a problem wandering Polaris alone. She’d be looking for someone to pick up, someone just for the night, but that just didn’t seem like it would be fun anymore. That someone wouldn’t be Octavia. At least, she figured she could still enjoy giving Lexa a hard time about her obvious thirst for Octavia’s friend. If they hadn’t already left together, she had a pretty good idea they were either in the main building or still out on the patio where she’d last seen them. Hardcore and 80’s music had never been Lexa’s favorites. She made her way out onto the patio, but after a quick glance around, she didn’t see Lexa or Clarke, so she just moved on to the main building.

The crowd had grown slightly in the last hour or so, but it wasn’t packed. Anya figured it must be later than she thought. She glanced over at the bar clock on the wall and was surprised to see it was almost two in the morning. She didn’t want to think about how she’d been so wrapped up in Octavia that she didn’t realize that more than two hours had passed. Shaking her head, she quickly scanned over the bar. Still not seeing Lexa or Clarke, she set her sights on the dancefloor instead. She watched for a few minutes as bodies moved to the beat of whatever synth pop song was playing, admittedly half watching for Lexa or Clarke, the other half just watching the lights and the movement. Still, when she didn’t see either of them there, she turned back to the bar and flagged down Jasper.

He sidled over to her, a bottle of liquor in his hands. He wiggled it at her briefly and she chuckled when she realized just how well he knew her. Top shelf tequila was something she could never turn down. He poured them both a shot, bringing a sly finger to his lips when Anya glanced around looking for Titus. She knew Titus didn’t appreciate it when his bartenders drank on the job. That was why she had made such a big deal about it earlier, when she first agreed to fill in until Jasper got there. Knowing Jasper had probably done this with at least a few other patrons already though, she just shrugged and yelled, “Who cares, right?” He grinned at her happily, and they tipped their glasses back together with ease. Anya still needed information though and motioned for Jasper to come closer. She smiled as he easily leaned across the bar, big goofy grin still fixed to his lips. Anya could definitely smell the liquor on him then, so she tried to speak clearly as she barked over the music, “Have-You-Seen-Lexa?”

The wave of tequila scented breath was almost too much for Anya, but she kept herself still as Jasper nodded, chuckling as he replied, “She… she left about ten minutes ago, some blonde was literally d-dragging her out the door.”

Anya just shook her head, hearing the slur in his words. She wanted to say something about it, but she knew that anything she said to him wouldn’t sink in anyway, so she simply said, “Ok, Thanks…” She glanced around again then, still trying to think of something to say to her friend, something that might bring him back to reality a little bit. After a moment she figured there wasn’t much to say. Jasper was a grown adult and could make his own decisions. That didn’t mean that Anya couldn’t give him a little nudge anyway though, finally turning back to him and saying, “Take a cab home tonight, Jaz. I don’t wanna hear about you wrecking and killing somebody… I’d have to hurt you the next time I saw you.”

Anya felt relieved when he immediately put his hands up in surrender, still grinning as he shouted, “Hey! I took a cab _here_ tonight. I started drinking kinda early today.” He did at least have the self-awareness to look sheepish at his admission and Anya just smiled and nodded, trying not to make him feel anymore guilty than he already did. Someone down the bar interrupted them though, shouting for Jasper and waving money around. After a sigh, Jasper gave Anya a little mock salute before he made his way in the direction of the money. Alone again, Anya turned to rest her back against the bar, so she could survey the room one more time. She quickly realized that Titus really was nowhere to be seen, and that most of the regulars had cleared out as well, so she decided it was time for her to head home too.

Once on the street, Anya thought that maybe if she hurried she might still catch Lexa and Clarke at the taxi stand. She hustled along the sidewalk, but as she turned the corner she caught sight of blonde wavy hair disappearing into a cab. Knowing she had just missed them, Anya slowed herself down, not in a rush anymore. She even stopped to pull out her phone to shoot Lexa a teasing, yet totally important text before strolling along again. When she arrived at the taxi stand no one else was waiting so that was a bonus, so Anya simply settled in to wait. She’d only been waiting maybe three or four minutes when she heard some shuffling behind her. She immediately turned towards the source, more curious than anything, but at two in the morning one could never be too careful. It took her a second to realize what was happening, but when her eyes met Octavia’s again she felt like something just clicked into place. For just a moment, she really couldn’t look away, like Octavia’s eyes were telling her a story and she needed to hear the end. Anya couldn’t define it, but every second their gaze held, she felt slightly more and more anxious. Only when Octavia blinked, and those feelings stopped rising, did she realize she was picking up some of what Octavia was feeling.

A little shocked by the depth of their connection, she glanced away. It was only for a second, that was all she could manage, part of her desperate to reestablish that connection with Octavia. Her eyes trailed down again nonetheless though, unable to stop herself from taking in the sight Octavia’s body when given the chance. She instantly felt a little jealous of the way Octavia’s arm was wrapped tightly around Raven, but she brushed that ugliness aside when she realized Octavia was obviously helping Raven walk. Anya hadn’t noticed Raven’s brace earlier, when they had first met. Raven had been bellied up to the bar at the time, but she had to admit it was much more obvious now, metal glinting in the street lights. Anya knew better than to stare though, because a lasting injury like that could definitely make a person self-conscious. So, instead she brought her eyes back to Octavia’s, and when they connected again, Anya was sure she felt more nervous the second their eyes met.

“Ladies, what’s your hurry?” broke out from behind Octavia and Raven, and Anya’s eyes snapped up, over their heads, to fixate on the source. A swaggering drunk man was trailing behind them, calling out and waving, with two of his buddies swaying drunkenly against each other a few steps behind him.

Anya heard Raven groan slightly as she and Octavia continued to shuffle along towards her. She glanced back at Octavia’s eyes and found a worried, tense look waiting for her. A feral growl tore out from her throat as she rushed forward, wanting nothing more than to get in between Octavia and Raven, and their pursuers, but Octavia boasted confidently, “Down girl! Don’t worry, I got this.” Anya’s growl deepened, and she tried to make a move to step around Octavia, but Octavia just stepped in front of her. Raven groaned again at the movement, but with Octavia’s hand pressing into her chest, Anya couldn’t spare Raven a single glance. She looked right into Octavia’s eyes, searching for some kind of explanation, even as Octavia said, “Anya, really, I don’t need you to protect me right now, but I… I do need you to take Raven, though.”

Raven huffed, and the sound drew Anya to her. When she finally really looked at Raven, Anya immediately understood. Raven was struggling just to stay upright and obviously was in a good deal of pain. When Raven started to take a shaky step towards her, Anya quickly moved up to take her arm, wrapping one of her own around Raven’s waist. It felt strange being that close to Raven, who she really barely knew, but she shuffled Raven over to the taxi stand as swiftly and safely as she could. Settling Raven against hand rail only took a second, and before she knew it, Anya was turning back to watch whatever was about to happen. And, Anya did watch, half in fear, half in appreciation, as the three drunken alphas stalked forward, pressing ever closer to Octavia.

It took everything she had to tamp down the protective and possessive thoughts that were swirling through her mind. She was pleased though, when she noticed how Octavia was playing to her strengths, waiting for them to attack rather than lashing out, depending on her speed to trump their brawn. Her lips turned up slightly as Octavia spun out of the way of the first man’s clumsy lunge. She winced when she got a crystal-clear view of his face smashing against the sidewalk. ‘Broken nose, ouch,’ she thought as she glanced back up, to find only one of his two friends still standing there. Head up, eyes open, she scanned the scene, looking for the third man, finally spotting him, half jogging back the way they had come. She refocused herself on the last man standing, and she immediately thought that he wouldn’t be as easily handled as his friend. Her muscles tensed on instinct, readying herself to join the action. She held herself back though, as she studied the movement between Octavia and her attacker. Only a split second before it happened, Anya saw the charge. A growl erupted from her chest, but it cut off abruptly, transforming into a husky, choked laugh, when Octavia’s attacker blew right past her dodge, accidentally kicking his friend in the stomach as he tripped over his friend’s fallen body. The way his arms flailed helplessly brought the humor all the way to the surface, and Anya roared with laughter as he groaned in pain at their feet. Contestant number one was now dry heaving and gasping in the fetal position, and number two wasn’t fairing much better, an obvious welt growing on his forehead where he’d smacked it into the ground. ‘I guess he didn’t get his friend in the stomach after all,’ Anya thought when she realized the first man was protecting his groin instead of his abs. She had absolutely no sympathy for him though. Mostly, she just wanted to rip his dick off and force feed it back to him.

Obviously overjoyed, Octavia was jumping up and down in triumph then, bouncing a circle around the two grounded alphas, and Anya thought she looked like she was just daring them to get up and try again. She smiled proudly as she heard Octavia shout, “Can you believe that?! I took down three alphas without even throwing a punch! What, what?!” Anya couldn’t help the tingly feeling that formed in her gut when Octavia bounded over to her then. That look of absolute delight was too tempting to resist and Anya melted a little when Octavia pushed up on her tip-toes to plant a quick kiss on her lips. Normally, Anya would have been embarrassed about her reaction to the kiss, but Raven had shuffled down to the other end of the taxi stand though, clearly trying to give them a little privacy. At least, she thought there was a chance Raven hadn’t heard her groan when Octavia’s body pressed more firmly against her own as they kissed. She fell into the kiss anyway, and after a moment, Anya realized she couldn’t really think about anything other than those lips pressed against her own. The moment broke just as quickly as it came on though, when Octavia grinned against her lips and muttered, “See, I told you. Piece of cake, easy as pie!”

Grinning from ear to ear, Anya pulled back just enough to reply, “Yes, Octavia… you were incredible.” Octavia pulled back a little too, smiling shyly again. Anya didn’t mind a little shyness though, not when Octavia was looking into her eyes like that, like she never wanted to look anywhere else. She heard a sudden shuffling behind Octavia however, and turned her eyes that way just in time to see contestant number two helping his friend up off the ground. Anya growled again just at the sight of them, but before she could do more than that, they were up, stumbling over each other as they hobbled away as fast as they could go.

Anya pulled Octavia back into her arms for another moment, needing just another second, but before they could even get settled against each other, Anya heard Raven call out from the opposite direction, “Hey O, do we wanna catch this cab? Or just wait for the next one?”

Glancing down at Octavia, Anya realized she really wasn’t ready to let her go. At just the thought of letting Octavia out of her sight, she blurted out, “Which way are you guys headed, up or down?”

Anya snapped her mouth shut the second she said that though, realizing she was setting herself up, but it was too late. Octavia raised an eyebrow suggestively and wiggled against her as she said, “Well, I certainly would like to be going down, but if you’re asking about where we live… it’s uptown.”

Not willing to be beaten at her own game though, Anya simply squeezed Octavia’s waist and tucked her face in close to her ear as she whispered, “That’s too bad. Looks like I’m gonna be going down alone tonight. Oh well, I’m sure I can figure out some way to occupy myself.”

She wasn’t sure if the little shiver that ran through Octavia was more from her words or from the way Anya was breathing so heavily against the side of her neck. It didn’t really matter either way though, because then Octavia said, “Play our cards right, and I’ll make sure you don’t go down alone on Tuesday.” Anya could only stand there, a little speechless, as Octavia pressed her lips against her cheek before she pulled completely away and bounced her way over to Raven.

Anya just shook her head as she followed them, still not ready, but she knew Octavia and Raven had to go one way and she the other. It wasn’t until she saw Raven already getting into the cab before Octavia even reached her, Anya knew the night was over. She smiled though because as she watched Octavia crawl into the cab, head first, there was one glorious moment where the silhouette of Octavia’s core was on perfect display, obviously nothing between Octavia and the air except a thin, damp stretch of spandex. Eyes wide, Anya had to scramble for a second to catch up enough to reach the door just as Octavia was about to close it. Caught kind of off guard by the obviously intentional display, Anya stammered as she said, “T-text me?!”

Octavia’s fierce smirk told Anya that she’d been set up again, but she really didn’t mind when Octavia said, “Oh, you can count on it.” She shot Anya an overexaggerated wink as she licked her lips, and Anya laughed, amused at how Octavia could be so adorable, and so sexy, at the same time. She politely nodded her goodnight to Raven and then to Octavia. With a quiet, “Be safe,” Anya closed the cab door and watched as they rode off. She would never admit it to anyone, but she kept watching, until long, long after they were out of sight.

 

~~~

 

By the time the adrenaline kicked in, Raven wasn’t feeling the pain much anymore, but she wasn’t really feeling anything else either. She was still mostly drowning in her own self-pity when she heard Anya growl and move forward, but Octavia just stopped her, saying, “Down girl! Don’t worry, I got this.” Raven wasn’t surprised when Anya didn’t back down, but she also wasn’t surprised when Octavia got right back in her way and said, “Anya, really, I don’t need you to protect me right now, but I… I do need you to take Raven, though.”

Mortified, but unwilling to argue, Raven resigned herself to being passed off like a toddler, totally incapable of taking care of herself; being shirked off like a burden. Raven barely paid attention as Octavia confronted their stalkers, because it was almost like watching a cat play with its food. It wasn’t like she wasn’t concerned about her friend facing off against three big guys, but she knew what Octavia was capable of; the roughhoused enough at home for Raven to know those guys were in trouble. The idiots were obviously drunk, and Octavia, though tipsy, had been training to be a fighter for almost five years; not to mention now there was Anya too.

At least Anya had just escorted her the rest of the way to the taxi stand and then released her, instead of holding her like she was child that needed to be protected. Octavia had emerged victorious, of course, bouncing excitedly in her joy, but when she started to bob her way over to Anya, Raven could see what was about to happen and immediately started shuffling down the handrail to the other end, to give them a little privacy. Truthfully, Raven removing herself from the situation wasn’t totally selfless, because there was a huge part of her that didn’t want to think about who she could be kissing right then. ‘But she left… without saying a word,’ Raven’s mind reasoned, the thought stinging as if she’d been burned. She turned away from Octavia and Anya then, as they shared a tender moment, trying to hold herself together by sheer force of will.

Staring off down the darkened street, Raven felt a sharp cold chill travel down her spine. She inhaled sharply against the sensation but sighed out the breath when she recognized a familiar scent still hanging in the air. ‘God, she was probably standing right here...’ Raven thought, unable to stop herself from daydreaming about what it might have been like to have been standing there with Abby. She was quickly getting lost in that fantasy when a livery cab pulled up to the stand, the driver immediately rolling down his passenger side window. She glanced over at Octavia and Anya and noticed they were still in the middle of their intense moment. She knew that cabbie wasn’t going to wait forever though, so she called out, “Hey O, do we wanna catch this cab? Or Just wait for the next one?” Raven watched them for a moment, only to realize that they weren’t quite done. She looked back to the driver, who was already looking at her, and flatly said, “You can start the meter if you want, just don’t leave.” He furrowed his brow and considered her for a moment before he simply slipped the cab into park and settled in to wait.

Raven glanced back to Octavia and Anya again, and sighed in relief when she could see Octavia starting to pull away. She sidled over to the cab and began climbing into the back then, Octavia following her in, eventually. She thought she might puke, as Octavia and Anya continued to flirt, being way too cute together. All she wanted was to just go home, crawl into her bed and forget the night had even happened. She barely noticed when Anya nodded goodnight to her, but she did her best to return the gesture as she stewed in regret. The cab pulled away from the curb, but Raven barely noticed that either, thinking, ‘Why didn’t I just go with her when she left the bar? I could be with her right now…’ It wasn’t long before Octavia broke the silence, breaking her from her thoughts as well as she said, “Uh, Rae?” All Raven could manage was a look as a response, but obviously it wasn’t a good one, when Octavia just grimaced as she continued, “So, I told you the bad news, but what I didn’t tell you is that I know why she left… You’re really not gonna like it.”

Chuckling dryly at Octavia’s serious tone, Raven hoped Octavia wouldn’t drag this out any longer than she had to. She was in no mood to beat around the bush about it, and when Octavia didn’t elaborate, Raven just spat, “You don’t have to fucking sugar coat it, O… Was it my leg or was the fact that she’s old enough to be my mom?”

Octavia’s eye brows shot up and Raven knew she was being rude and, frankly mean, but she couldn’t take the words back either. She took a in deep breath and decided to try not to shoot the messenger. She pursed her lips together, trying to think of a way to apologize without actually having to say it, but Octavia interrupted her thoughts again as she said, “Well, speaking of moms… Raven, what’s Clarke’s mom’s name?”

Raven’s eyes snapped back over to her friend, and she coughed out a choked, “Wha-?” She struggled to wrap her brain around why Clarke’s mom would have anything to do with anything. Frustrated and confused, she barked at Octavia again, nearly shouting this time, “What the fuck does this have to do with anything?”

The cabbie shifted uncomfortably in the front seat, and Octavia lips formed a tighter line, but Raven couldn’t feel bad. Octavia was jerking her around and she could feel a bubbling up kind of rage building inside her. She nearly sneered when all Octavia said was, “Just answer the question.” She could only hold her anger in for so long, and she was quickly reaching the end of her fuse, but at the last second, Raven managed to reign herself in again. She shook her head as if the movement could shake her rage away.

It did help her focus a little though and she quickly realized that part of what was really bothering her was that she didn’t have any idea what Clarke’s mom’s name was; they’d never met before. Even after that sudden moment of clarity, Raven was still harsh as she replied, “I don’t know her fucking name, O. Clarke always just calls her ‘mom.’ I— I guess I have heard Clarke call her ‘Dr. Griffin’ when she was mad.” She felt a little calmer as she explained, but that didn’t stop her from pushing on, “Now, will you kindly tell me what the hell you’re driving at?”

Octavia’s face softened a little, and Raven thought maybe not knowing Clarke’s mom was the right answer, but then Octavia said, “Rae, take a deep breath, ok?” She did, only out of reflex, but just as Octavia was about to continue, something connected in Raven’s brain, and she barely heard it when Octavia concluded, “Clarke’s mom’s name is… Abby.”

Despite figuring it out prematurely, Raven still felt like she was having an aneurysm, suddenly dizzy and off balance, her vision swimming and her head spinning. It was a good thing she was sitting down, because her equilibrium felt so off that she’s sure she would have fallen if she had been standing. “This isn’t happening,” fell out of her mouth, even though she knew it was happening. Raven could barely follow as Octavia went on to explain, telling her about Anya and Lexa’s friendship with Abby, and how Anya had reluctantly convinced Abby to go out with them. Octavia said she assumed it was just dumb luck that had brought her and Abby together, but Raven couldn’t let that stand. She knew better than that, shaking her head as she finally spoke up, “No— no way. I smelled her long before I saw her. That smell from the cab on the way there, that was her, O. I didn’t recognize it at first, but when she was holding me close, twirling me around on the dance floor…” Her words were coming out faster than she could stop them, but she didn’t even try, pushing on, “She smelled so, so good, O. I— I don’t think I could’ve stopped myself even if I’d known all this beforehand.” Raven huffed out a long sigh, feeling relieved, but she knew there was still more to it than that. The way she felt about Abby was somehow deeper than that and before she could censor herself, she added, “Even knowing it all now, I still wanna see her again. Is that— Is that wrong?”

Feeling Octavia’s arms wrap around her shoulders, Raven sank into the embrace, too ashamed of herself to do anything else. Octavia just pulled her into a tight hug though, rubbing soft circles against her back as she said, “The heart what the heart wants, Rae. It’s just that sometimes it’s not always the, uh, healthiest of options.”

Octavia’s lighthearted pessimism was very comforting in fact, and Raven laughed a little drily as she said, “Yeah, I can’t imagine Clarke being cool with me being into her mom…” She didn’t even want to think about how Clarke would react if she and Abby were to actually date… or mate, or… _What?_ Raven tensed when the word ‘mate’ flashed through her head. She could not be thinking about Clarke’s mom like that.

Thankfully, Octavia’s own bitter laugh snapped her away from that thought, distracting her. She still shuddered as Octavia replied, “I’m not sure who she would be more furious at… you or her mom.”

It was still all so overwhelming though, Raven had to take another deep breath to keep herself from panicking. When she looked up at Octavia, and found her friend looking at her with such sympathy, she couldn’t help but ask, “Why’s life gotta be so hard for me sometimes, huh?”

It seemed Octavia had about as good an answer as she did for that one, simply shrugging as she softly said, “I don’t know, Rae. I don’t know…” She grew quiet then, and Raven knew Octavia was getting lost in her own thoughts. She let it happen too, not knowing what else needed to be said. They rode the rest of the way to their small apartment that way, and continued on inside in a similar sort of silence, but when they finally got inside, Octavia finally turned to her and asked sort of shyly, “So… do you want some company tonight, or do you just wanna be alone?”

Hearing that little lilt of hope in Octavia’s voice, Raven knew Octavia wasn’t just asking Raven if she wanted company; she was saying she didn’t want to be alone either. Honestly, it wasn’t unusual for any of the three of them to end up in each other’s beds at the end of the day. It wasn’t a sex thing at all, ever, but sometimes it just felt nice to have someone hold while they slept. Raven couldn’t help digging a little though, smiling softly as she replied, “Yeah, I think I’d like that… as long as you don’t think Anya will mind.”

Octavia blushed furiously, and that was just the reaction Raven was looking for. She didn’t get to enjoy it very long though because Octavia immediately turned on her heel and scooted off to her bedroom to get ready for bed. Raven plodded off towards her own room as well, tired and depressed; honestly, feeling just wretched. She did manage to mope her way through getting undressed, and then redressed into some comfy clothes. That was about as far as she got however, before she slumped down onto the edge of the bed, again feeling almost crushed by regret. At least, she knew it would be a few minutes before she had to face Octavia again, because she was sure there would be some texting back and forth between Octavia and Anya before Raven saw her friend again. Still internally wallowing about her own failed evening though, the thing that struck Raven as most hurtful, was that Abby hadn’t even come back to say goodnight. She knew why, because Abby realized who she was and freaked out and ran away, but that didn’t make her feel any better about it. She couldn’t believe that Abby would just bail on her like that, especially after she had just said she wouldn’t run. The connection she had felt with Abby was almost instantaneous and she was pretty sure Abby had felt the same thing, but obviously it hadn’t been enough. Knowing she wasn’t going to be able to let this go easily, she just slumped her way to the bathroom, trying to keep herself moving forward, even if only physically.

When she entered the bathroom though, Octavia was already standing at the sink, smiling at Raven around her toothbrush. Raven followed suit, as least on brushing her teeth, quickly spreading some paste on her brush and then shoving it in her mouth. They came to stand side by side then, leaning on each other as they brushed their teeth together. It was comforting for a moment but then Raven almost groaned when Octavia made funny faces around her toothbrush. Octavia even drooled a couple times trying to make her laugh, and it worked, at least a little. Raven laughed, she did, it was just that her smile didn’t quite reach all the way to her eye. She couldn’t truly enjoy the goodness of a hard belly laugh, not with the way her stomach hurt already. Octavia only actually managed to make really her laugh by accident though. When they were finished brushing, they both went to spit at the same time, and Raven ended up spitting all over Octavia’s arm. It was Octavia’s own fault for steadying herself on the vanity right in front of Raven’s face, but when Octavia squeaked, making a long ‘Ewwwww’ sound, Raven actually laughed. Octavia’s little disgusted sounds continued as she washed Raven’s spittle off her hand, and those made Raven laugh too. When Octavia finally turned to her though, a mischievous glint in her eye, Raven just felt thankful Octavia hadn’t try to wipe it back on her. She definitely didn’t have the energy for that.

Teeth finally clean, they both made their way towards Raven’s bedroom, mostly because they both knew Raven had the bigger bed. Raven was liming along down the hall when she heard Octavia call out behind her, “Oh, hey, how’s— how’s your leg feeling?”

To be honest, Raven hadn’t thought about the cramp from earlier, but quickly realized it was long gone. She quickly flexed her hip, tensing and releasing her thigh muscles, and found she wasn’t in any more pain than usual. It was a bit of a relief, even if it was unexpected. Bad thigh cramps usually left her feeling like her leg was going to just fall off. She was sure she sounded as surprised as she was as she said, “Oddly ok… I guess maybe the adrenaline from earlier kinda made me forget about it until the cramp went away. It’s sore, like always, but it’s ok.”

Just a few short minutes later, they were curled up Raven’s bed together, and Raven found herself surprised again, when she actually got to be the big spoon for once. Usually when they cuddled in bed together, Octavia always wanted to be the big spoon. It didn’t matter whether they were cuddling for comfort, or for warmth, like that one time when Raven had forgotten to pay the heating bill. Octavia always claimed she was the more dominant of the two of them, so she got to be the big spoon. Raven couldn’t help wondering if Octavia’s sudden desire to be the little spoon had anything to do with a certain alpha, but she knew better than to bring that up. She knew how sensitive Octavia could be when it came to gender stereotypes.

Wrapping her arms tightly around Octavia, Raven sighed as she wondered whether Abby would let her hold her like this or not, but she put those thoughts right out of her head, trying to focus on the way Octavia sighed contently in her arms. Finally, Raven forced herself to relax and settle in, letting Octavia’s warmth work its magic. Her last thought was that it was good having Octavia there, even though she knew they were both imagining the other’s warmth was coming from someone else entirely.


	8. The Inflation

Clarke heard Lexa’s words, she did; she even understood them, but as they replayed them in her head, ‘You, uh, look a little thirsty there, Clarke. You need me to get you a water?’ it was hard for Clarke to think of any kind of response. Distantly, somewhere very far back in her mind, was the need for water, as a means of sustenance and survival, but in that moment, all Clarke could think about was Lexa’s audacity. To make a joke like that at a time like this, was truly bold, and stupid. She was still so on edge, sensitive and swollen, almost sore from overstimulation. The worst part was, Lexa wasn’t even touching her anymore, but Clarke still felt like she would come flying off the rails if she squeezed her thighs together the right way. She was seriously considering getting dressed and just walking out, if Lexa wanted to make jokes then Clarke would laugh all the way to the door. She was just as seriously considering pushing Lexa up against a wall or tackling her to the floor though, not taking no for an answer until Lexa finished what she had started.

Hormones rushing and adrenaline pumping, Clarke liked her odds for getting Lexa to the ground before Lexa could stop her. She prowled forward still thinking that sounded like a good idea as she growled, “Well, I’m glad this is so funny for you.” Clarke grinned as Lexa took a step back to her step forward again, but she continued to match more of Lexa’s retreating steps as she said, “I can’t believe that you would just… and over, and over, and over again… and then you what?... just stand there making jokes… You know what, you’re right, I am thirsty and if you don’t get ins-Oophh!”

Heat flared against her skin, and her nails dug into her palms as Lexa swallowed the rest of her words with her lips. It took a minute, but eventually Clarke accepted the kiss for the apology that it was and sank forward as Lexa pulled her into her chest. Clarke groaned as their bodies finally pressed flush against each other, bare skin to bare skin. Her next inhale was more of a gasp, her head spinning from the heat of Lexa’s hard length pressed tight between their bellies. To be honest, she’d almost forgotten about it in her fury, but there was no denying it now; she could feel it twitching and throbbing against her skin. She groaned again, as Lexa’s hips jerked forward, hard enough to force some separation between them.

Their kiss broke too, and Clarke nearly whined at the loss, but Lexa was right there, following her stumbling steps this time, as they made their way back towards the bed. Lexa caught her before she could fall back on it though, taking her by the wrist to pull their bodies back together, this time with Clarke’s back to Lexa’s front. The hot slide of Lexa’s length as it nestled in between her ass cheeks was a wholly different kind of experience from having it pressed against her stomach. The positioning felt sort of lewd to begin with, but when Lexa trapped one of her arms around her waist and pulled the other up by the wrist, Clarke felt deliciously posed. She shivered as Lexa’s breath hit the side of her neck, and she gasped as Lexa’s fingers trailed down her arm, past her armpit, all the way down to her other hand resting at her waist.

With Lexa’s hot breath came words too, but they were hard to understand buried against the side of her neck. The most Clarke could make out was something about a balloon, but then Lexa laced their fingers together at her waist, and Clarke realized what Lexa was after. The condom Lexa had opened earlier, that Clarke had tried to seductively take from her, was properly ruined. It was still balled up in Clarke’s fist, in the hand still hovering over top of her own head. “It’s uh… sorry…” was all Clarke could whisper as she brought her hand down and finally opened it, revealing the dimpled, misshapen rubber ring.

Lexa muttered against the side of her neck again, half seeming like words, but the other half was mostly just chucking. Clarke pinched at the back of Lexa’s hand a little bit, mostly just embarrassed that Lexa was still laughing at her. Lexa didn’t seem to mind though, as she pulled back from her neck and her words became clear, “It’s ok, beautiful. I’ve got more where that one came from.” Lexa’s tone was so tender and gentle that Clarke’s embarrassment didn’t last long. It may have had something to do with the kiss that followed Lexa’s words too, especially when Lexa didn’t stop at just one either, her tongue and teeth quickly joining her lips. Before she knew it, Clarke was giving herself over to heated kiss, Lexa absolutely ravishing her mouth. It was a bit of an awkward angle with Lexa still behind her, but as Lexa’s body slid against her backside, Clarke was far too aroused to care about a little neck pain. The way Lexa gripped around her waist felt good too, and Clarke couldn’t help herself but to tangle deeper and deeper into Lexa with every kiss, and lick, and nip.

Her embarrassment didn’t resurface either, even when she realized she was quickly becoming a whimpering, squirming, needy mess all over again. She wailed and whined against Lexa’s lips, as Lexa’s grip around her waist shifted, but before she could complain, Lexa was turning her so that they could be front to front once again. She sighed into Lexa’s mouth as the tension in her neck released, only for her breath to hitch again as Lexa’s hands gripped at her hips and pushed her away. She was struggling then; struggling to keep breathing, struggling to stay standing; struggling to maintain even the slightest modicum of control. When Lexa’s grip relaxed a little, Clarke’s already thin willpower snapped, and she just pulled Lexa back into herself, even closer than before. She threw one of her legs up over Lexa’s hip to get that last inch closer, and she groaned as the heat of Lexa’s shaft finally met her core. There was something primal, something far beyond Clarke’s current comprehension, at work between them, and she was powerless to resist it.

All she wanted, was to feel Lexa inside her. Lexa’s hand fell to her thigh with a slap, and her fingers tightened into the muscle there. Clarke was sure there would be a hand print there later, but even still the slight sting and firm grip had Clarke arching into the pressure. The sudden movement caused her core to bump up against Lexa’s length again and she moaned when it throbbed against her sex. Before she could even think about what she was doing, she began grinding her slick up against the underside, coating it in her own wetness, preparing to mount Lexa if necessary, anything to fill the hollow ache building inside her. She was desperate for any sort of friction really, inside or outside, and at that point, she didn’t really care how needy she sounded as she whined exasperatedly into Lexa’s mouth. Lexa hissed at the sound, but the hand on Clarke’s thigh shifted to grip underneath instead of on top. She thought she was about to finally get what she needed, but Lexa started pushing back against her shoulder with her other hand. A snarl broke from Clarke’s throat, as they separated that time, fury boiling to the surface all over again, but Clarke had just enough focus left to understand Lexa’s pleading words, “Just— just, wait, Clarke, please… wait…”

It was her name that finally snapped Clarke out of her hormone-driven fog. She blinked a few times trying to clear her hazy vision too, and when she realized what she’d been doing, she backed away from Lexa, a little sheepishly. Lexa didn’t seem to be put off though, especially when Clarke’s addled brain drew her eyes down Lexa’s body to her shaft, standing out proud, covered in slick, glistening wetness. A brief idea of falling to her knees to steal a taste flashed through Clarke’s head, but as Lexa turned away, Clarke found herself glancing back up to search for an explanation in Lexa’s face instead. Lexa was facing away from her though, so naturally Clarke’s eyes followed the only movement left in the room. She felt a sudden clarity as she watched Lexa’s hands tremble, struggling to pull a new condom from its foil packaging. She gasped though, as Lexa’s over-eager fingers nearly dropped it in her haste. By the time Lexa was turning back to her, Clarke was already stepping forward. She smiled as Lexa readily gave over the condom to her this time. The uncertain look on Lexa’s face wasn’t disconcerting though, it was obviously more nervous anticipation than anything else. Clarke was more than willing to help Lexa get over this hurdle, especially if it meant they could finally move on from there.

Leaning up on her toes, Clarke’s placed a series of light, delicate kisses to Lexa’s lips, before actually sinking to her knees. Lexa’s shaft was a truly glorious sight, all hard and hot, but Clarke didn’t have the patience to truly appreciate it at the moment and simply began to carefully roll the rubber down over Lexa’s skin. Lexa’s sex twitched when she touched it though, and Clarke’s smile widened as Lexa groaned softly at the attention. Getting swept up in her hormones again, Clarke got sort of fixated on the way Lexa twitched and jerked as she touched her. When the condom was finally securely in place, she couldn’t stop herself from slowly stroking up and down Lexa’s length. When the next twitch happened, Lexa’s shaft almost jumped right out of her hand. She leaned in until her face was hovering a mere few inches from Lexa, trying to get a closer look at the magnificent member, despite the rubber in the way.

It was truly magnificent too. It was longer and a little wider than the few Clarke had seen before, but she didn’t think it was too long, or too wide. It looked like it would fit just right, a tight stretch, but a delicious one all the same. She found it fascinating too, how incredibly responsive it was, bowing and flexing with each stroke, throbbing and twitching and heaving, chasing the heat of her hand. It was so captivating, that for a long moment, Clarke couldn’t look away. Lexa seemed to get caught up in the sensation of Clarke gently stroking her too, and Clarke could feel Lexa relaxing deeper into the touch with each motion. A pleased sigh came from above her and Clarke glanced up to see Lexa’s head had fallen back. Distracted by the long open lines of Lexa’s neck and jaw, Clarke’s hand paused for moment, and Lexa’s shaft jerked violently in her loose grip. Clarke looked back down at it again and feeling the skin ripple and surge underneath the condom, all she could think about was stripping the rubber off, so she could take Lexa in her mouth, if for no other reason than to feel the way it pulsed inside her.

A hand came down to cup the side of her jaw, and Clarke leaned forward immediately, eager and excited for Lexa to pull her closer, but then Lexa simply cleared her throat. Clarke’s eyes shot upwards to find Lexa looking down at her, a sweet smile on her lips. Clarke was a little confused as Lexa started to gently guide her back up to her feet, but apparently, Lexa had other things in mind and Clarke was more than happy to follow the direction. She allowed Lexa to pull her all the way up until their lips met and after a sweet kiss, Lexa mumbled, “This isn’t about me, remember? Come on, beautiful, just let me take care of you, huh?” Clarke nodded furiously, heat swirling under skin at the return of Lexa’s gentle confidence. She realized pretty quickly that she needed to calm down a little though, or she really was going to mount Lexa in another second. She immediately dipped her head down into the base of Lexa’s neck, and took in a steadying breath, filling herself with Lexa’s solid scent. “God, I’m gonna make this so good for you, baby…” came from just above her ear, and Clarke nearly melted as Lexa swept a hand behind her head and pulled her back up for another kiss. Lexa’s other hand clutched tightly at her hip though, and when Lexa started to steer her backwards, Clarke went along enthusiastically, her omega thrilled that her demands would soon be met.

Even knowing where Lexa was leading her, it didn’t stop Clarke from gasping when the backs of her calves hit the side of the mattress for the second time that night. That was mostly because she knew there’d be no teasing this time; no more beating around the bush, so to speak. Clarke smiled against Lexa’s lips as Lexa eased her down onto her bed, only breaking the kiss when Lexa started shuffling her up towards the headboard once more. Clarke didn’t fight it, her thighs immediately falling open when Lexa made to settle on top of her. She groaned harshly when Lexa’s length glided through her outer lips again, only slightly frustrated that she couldn’t feel all of Lexa’s warmth because of the condom. Her disappointment was quickly replaced by a much louder moan though, as Lexa rocked her hips forward, Lexa forcing the bulbous tip of her shaft to drag over her clit. The sensation was almost overwhelming, and Clarke couldn’t help herself but to drag her nails down over Lexa’s shoulders and arms, desperation rising again as Lexa’s length settled fully against her core.

There were so many sensations at once it was hard to focus though, and Clarke found herself relishing in the way Lexa’s body flexed and pitched against her own. She moaned again as Lexa’s hips drew her length up and down through her folds a few times, but it wasn’t enough. She needed Lexa, inside her, like twenty minutes ago. Lexa seemed to understand though because not a second later she drew back a little and Clarke’s breath seized when she felt the tip of Lexa’s shaft come to rest against her entrance. She tried to bear down, tried to take what Lexa was offering, but when she did, Lexa’s length just slipped up through her folds again. She whined in sheer frustration, gripping onto Lexa’s shoulders again, clutching to her. Lexa’s hand was immediately on her face again, and without even a second’s thought, Clarke popped her eyes open, understanding what Lexa was asking. Their eyes met just as Lexa whispered, “Shhh, it’s ok. Just breathe. I’ve got you.” Clarke did breathe then, once in and then out, and over again, and only when she was breathing almost normally again did Lexa realign herself and drive forward slowly, just until the head popped inside. Clarke sighed in sweet relief, sighed at how perfect it felt for Lexa’s shaft to finally push inside her, finally stretch her open. The burning of the slow expansion was a little intense, but not even close to uncomfortable. As Lexa slowly began to move back and forth, pushing in deeper and deeper with each thrust, the burn gave way into the most wonderful pleasure Clarke had ever felt. As desperate as she was for release, as much as she wanted Lexa to forget about her pleasure and just rut into her like a wild animal, Clarke realized the tender, affectionate way Lexa had prepared her was probably what made it feel so good to finally have what she needed anyway.

 

~~~

 

Holding her breath, Lexa stiffened as she pushed inside Clarke for the first time. It was all she could do to keep herself from coming the second she was enveloped in Clarke’s flooded, tight heat. She figured she had probably been hard for almost an hour, and all the teasing had left her in quite the state. She bit down on her own needs one again though as she struggled to ease herself inside, working for every inch. Eventually though, her hard work was rewarded. She finally bottomed out inside Clarke, and it was like a key fitting in a lock, Clarke’s walls molding to her every dip and curve, tight but just right. She paused, glancing down to where her length had totally disappeared inside Clarke and groaned when she felt Clarke’s walls squeeze down around her. Clarke writhed a little and Lexa quickly brought her gaze back up to Clarke’s strained face. Clarke’s features were just as relieved as her own, but she could easily tell that Clarke still needed more; Clarke needed her to move. She leaned down over Clarke then, supporting her upper body with just one elbow. She brought her other hand up to Clarke’s cheek again, needing somewhere to ground herself before she just took off like a jack-hammer. Clarke surged forward into the touch, and it was no time at all before Clarke was pressing their lips together.

It was a hard, solid kiss, one Lexa would remember for a long time to come. Clarke sank back down against the mattress a moment or two later though, obviously shaking from the strain of holding herself up like that for too long. One of Clarke’s hands quickly found the back of her head and pulled her down with her, and Lexa didn’t resist as Clarke guided her face into the side of her neck. She almost laughed at Clarke’s forwardness, but then she remembered their earlier conversation. She waited until she was right up under Clarke’s ear, breathing against the source of Clarke’s scent, before she mumbled, “No mark… not yet.” The shiver that raced through Clarke’s body nearly forced Lexa to choke, as Clarke’s walls clutched at her a little more greedily. When the wave passed, Lexa just kissed under Clarke’s ear, before forcing her lips to trail down to the safer area of Clarke’s shoulder.

When Lexa dug her teeth into Clarke’s flesh then, Clarke shuddered and rolled beneath her. Lexa groaned as she followed the movement, allowing herself to slide almost all the way out of Clarke. It was a sharp contrast, just the tip of shaft still nestled inside that scorching heat while the rest of her was left out in the cold. It was torturous too, and Lexa only paused for a second before pushing her hips forward again. The heat was incredible, but when Clarke clenched around her, she remembered herself, and slowly pulled out again. Withdrawing the second time was just as torturous as the first time, and Lexa felt herself sinking forward before she could even think it. The feeling of Clarke’s tight muscle giving way to her shaft had Lexa speeding up before she really wanted to, but she couldn’t help herself. Clarke was pitching and rolling her hips with every thrust too, moaning and groaning and sighing as Lexa light her up from the inside out. Lexa mimicked her motions, over and over, steadily increasing her pace until she was only managing to pull half way out before she couldn’t control the overwhelming need to push back in again. It was all so incredible that it didn’t take long before Lexa could feel the tension in her shaft blossom. Her knot was beginning to swell, and although she wanted nothing more than to be fully inside Clarke, wonderfully tied and wholly sated, she needed to make sure that’s what Clarke wanted, too. She pulled back from the already purpling bruise on Clarke’s shoulder to search Clarke’s face, hoping she wouldn’t find even an inkling of hesitation. Clarke’s eyes were closed though, and she looked lost in their rhythm, so Lexa swallowed against the lump in her throat and said, “Can I— do you want it all?” 

Her voice was much huskier than she meant it to be, but it didn’t seem like Clarke cared. Actually, it didn’t seem like Clarke had heard her at all. For a moment, Lexa was struck by how beautiful Clarke looked, brow furrowed in concentration, skin damp from sweat, lips parted and a little dry. She still needed an answer though, before she got carried away and did something Clarke didn’t really want to do. She forced her thrusts to slow, hoping the change in pace would bring Clarke back from the edge enough for her to be able to make words. It was a fine line however, because she didn’t want it to seem Lexa was teasing her. The last thing she wanted was to be in this position and piss Clarke off.

Eventually, Clarke’s eyes opened, and Lexa could practically see Clarke’s heat swirling in those darkened irises. She could smell it too, the desire, to be knotted, to be mated, to be bonded, rolling off Clarke in wave after wave of pheromones. Lexa knew Clarke would likely do anything right now to relieve the heat building inside her, but Lexa needed to hear it anyway, so she said it again, “Clarke, do you want…” She didn’t get the chance to finish though, because Clarke just grunted and pitched her hips up harder into Lexa’s next thrust. The absolutely wanton sound Clarke made then, when Lexa’s knot pressed against that tight heat, told Lexa exactly what she needed to know about what Clarke wanted. She was all too happy to keep driving forward too. She was a little shocked when Clarke started wiggling under her, but then Clarke’s legs wrapped around her hips and her ankles locked behind her back. Lexa faltered slightly when Clarke used her new-found leverage to slam Lexa’s hips into her own. The sudden pressure was blinding, and Lexa almost came again. She held off though, clinging frantically to the idea of coming inside Clarke, her knot sealing them together. It would be awkward to knot Clarke with the condom on, but Lexa knew it would be worth the extra effort. She leaned up enough to slide her free hand down in between them, fumbling a little in the tight space. She eventually got a hold of herself, grabbing the base of her shaft just below her fully formed knot. She squeezed down tight when she felt the condom still securely in place. It didn’t hurt that her tight grip helped to stymie her impending release too, and when she managed to get a little better control on herself, Lexa began driving forward again.

Clarke felt so tight around her that when she first started to work the widest part of herself inside, Lexa wasn’t quite sure where it was going to go. She slowed her thrusts again, and shortened them too, and eventually, Lexa began to feel Clarke petal open for her. Then, one particularly well-timed thrust met Clarke’s entrance at just the right angle and then Clarke’s heat sucked her knot right in. She felt like all her insides were vibrating; it felt like Clarke’s were too, and at the exact same frequency. Their bodies feeding off each other, sustaining each other. It was only another second before Lexa roared in relief, Clarke’s orgasm rocking through them both. Clarke’s fluttering walls massaged her, pulled at her, milked her up and down, choking spurt after spurt of thick cum from her shaft. Clarke’s release seemed to go on and on too, and that only encouraged Lexa to spill more and more. She could feel the condom filled with it, filling Clarke as well. The feeling kept her mind on track though, and even as their bodies were still rocking together, Lexa squeezed her hand in between them again, triple checking that the condom hadn’t slipped at all. Pleased to find it still in place, Lexa smiled when Clarke gasped below her, Lexa’s thumb accidently brushing over Clarke’s still straining clit. Clarke moaned like Lexa had never heard before too, and her walls fluttered all over again. The fluttering pulled a growled, “More?” from Lexa, even as she circled the bud of Clarke’s clit, with just enough pressure to make her words sound more like a promise than a question.

Not waiting for an answer, Lexa positioned her nose in such a way, so she could breathe in Clarke’s scent directly from the source. Clarke’s head slammed back against the bed, opening herself up to Lexa, and Lexa began to work over the skin of her neck and throat again with her lipsand tongue, and eventually her teeth. She smirked against Clarke’s skin as she heard Clarke hiss and cry out, “GOD! Yes! PLEASE!” Lexa immediately speed up the movements of her thumb, and within moments Clarke’s second orgasm began. Lexa was sure that time she saw actual stars. Her teeth locked onto Clarke’s throat and Clarke hissed in her ear again. It wasn’t a sound of pain though, and Lexa could feel it, Clarke’s pull filling her with the need to claim, but she sternly reminded herself of their agreement. Lexa’s alpha wanted nothing more than to bite Clarke though, to break the skin and mark her, to claim her for all to see, but that wasn’t going to happen, not yet. Lexa simply breathed Clarke in, delighting in Clarke’s pleasure over and over again. Lexa eventually brought Clarke to her peak another three times around her knot before Clarke finally slumped against the bed, no energy left to even hold her head up by herself.

With an exhausted Clarke held tightly in her arms, Lexa carefully rolled their naked bodies so that Clarke was on top, and if Clarke’s soft whirring and purring was any indication, the new position was more than satisfactory. A moment later, Clarke was snoring softly, and Lexa relaxed back against the pillows. She was unable to sleep herself, not wanting to waste a single second of this experience, she just cradled Clarke’s body against her own, and gently rubbed Clarke’s back as she slept.

Almost an hour passed like that, before Lexa felt her knot finally starting to shrink. As much as she didn’t want to disturb Clarke, Lexa knew that in just a few minutes there would be quite the mess if they stayed in this position. As delicately as humanly possible, Lexa rolled them back over, doing her best to keep from jostling Clarke too much, but it was to no avail. Clarke stirred in her sleep. She didn’t open her eyes though, so Lexa decided to just settle in for any other minute, enjoying having Clarke under her just as much as on top of her. Ultimately though, Lexa knew they couldn’t really wait any longer, and she reluctantly brought her hand up to Clarke’s jaw, cupping it with her palm, running her thumb lightly over Clarke’s cheek. “Clarke, hey, I’m gonna have to pull out soon. Are you ready?” she whispered, trying to keep her rough voice soft and gentle. Clarke just grumbled, groggily, and mumbled something totally unintelligible. Lexa huffed slightly and tried again, “Clarke, come on, beautiful, show me those eyes of yours.”

Clarke’s eyes did open then, but only for a few seconds before she blinked furiously, obviously trying to clear the sleep from her eyes. Lexa almost laughed at how adorable Clarke was being, but then Clarke grunted, “Humh?” and finally met Lexa’s eyes.

“Hey, there you are,” Lexa said, smiling broadly as she watched the last remnants of sleep leave Clarke’s eyes. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna have to pull out now, ok?” Lexa added once she was sure Clarke was listening and capable of understanding her. Clarke just whined in response, but Lexa soothed her, “I know… I know, but there’s gonna be a huge mess if I don’t do it soon.” Clarke just grumbled again, but then she tucked her face into Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa tried not to shiver as Clarke took in several deep breaths before she finally nodded. The truth was Lexa was enjoying the moment just as much as Clarke but then she felt something shift between them, between where they were tied, and Lexa knew she really couldn’t wait anymore.

She withdrew her upper body from Clarke’s grasp first and just that loss of contact made Clarke whine like she was in pain. The alpha in Lexa became even more reluctant to leave Clarke’s warmth, but Lexa pushed through her own discomfort and removed her now rapidly softening member from Clarke, careful to pull the condom out as well, keeping it secure again, with a hand wrapped around herself at the base. Clarke whimpered loudly when she began moving down the bed and Lexa winced at the pain it caused her, to have to leave Clarke’s side in this tender moment, but there were things that need to be done, like riding herself of this condom. Once she was standing off the side of the bed she glanced down at how full the condom was, hanging below her hand. Hissing at the awkward sucking sensation, Lexa slipped the condom off and quickly tied it off. She glanced back at Clarke and in realizing she was already half asleep again, Lexa padded softly to her adjoining bathroom. She deposited the used condom into the trash and then grabbed two washcloths from one of the drawers in the vanity. She wet them both with warm water, cleaning herself off with one before tossing it right into the hamper. She crept back out into the bedroom with the other towel still in her hand, intent on wiping Clarke down as well, not wanting her to wake up to sticky thighs in the morning.

Lexa approached the bed slowly, whispering Clarke’s name, running a thumb over her hip, attempting to wake her again. To Lexa’s complete shock, Clarke actually purred as her thighs fell open, like she wanted nothing more than for Lexa inside her again. Lexa’s nostrils flared at the sight, outer lips dark and puffy, inner one’s bright pink and still gleaming. Lexa was immediately lost in her desire to wake Clarke with her mouth. She wondered how long it would take before actually Clarke woke up, gasping for air, rocketing towards her orgasm before she had even opened her eyes. Lexa pushed those thoughts aside though, because then Clarke snorted and shifted in her sleep, seeking comfort in the empty sheets. Lexa shrugged, thinking that she should probably save something for later anyway, and quickly set out to take advantage of Clarke’s still spread-open position. She swiped the warm, wet cloth over Clarke’s inner thighs, gently, one after the other, and then ran the cloth lightly over her folds. Clarke’s moan was almost Lexa’s undoing, because while she wanted to keep bringing Clarke to her peak over and over, she knew that Clarke must be exhausted. The days before an omega’s heat could be particularly draining, and with the obvious force of their shared release, Lexa expected Clarke would sleep like the dead for the rest of the night. ‘Or morning rather,’ Lexa thought when she glanced at her alarm clock, as it was almost five am anyway. She hastily discarded the second washcloth into the hamper in the bathroom before she crawled back into her bed, crawled back to Clarke.

She snickered a little when Clarke grumbled and immediately pulled Lexa underneath her, Clarke moving back on top of her like they had been while they were tied. She sighed as Clarke curled up on top of her chest, thighs straddling her hips. She gasped though, when Clarke settled so her sex was resting right on top of Lexa’s. She was definitely surprised at the intimate position Clarke had established, but when Clarke’s chest rumbled in a deep purr, Lexa couldn’t do anything but to relax under the vibrations. She relished in the comfort of Clarke’s warmth, taking the contact just for what it was, reassuring and tender and nothing more. It was only a few more moments before Lexa was kissing Clarke’s hair, whispering, “Goodnight, beautiful,” before finally slipping into sleep herself.

 

~~~

 

A shrill dinging sound penetrated Clarke’s dreamless sleep, not really registering, but it was certainly loud enough to wake the dead and she shifted, trying to figure out where it might be coming from. It seemed far away, like down a tunnel maybe, but that didn’t make sense though, because there was light somewhere too; she could feel it through her eyelids. The sound went on for another second, before shutting off and Clarke sighed in relief. She tried to snuggle back down into the bed again, but then the bed shifted underneath her, and her eyes shot open. First there was the skin, light caramel color and soft as anything. Then it was the hair, long and flowing, a light honeyed brown. And, then, there was the scent, like well-oiled leather and earth, but with hints of clove and mint. It was the scent that brought Clarke out of her sluggish shock, and suddenly, every moment from the night before became crystal clear. She was on top of Lexa still, she had to be and when she shifted again, the warmth underneath her shifted as well.

The irritating tone chimed again, and Clarke groaned a little, thinking, ‘Why would Lexa leave her alarm on after a night like that?’ She couldn’t see an alarm clock in her immediately vicinity, but she wasn’t quite ready to get up yet. Thankfully, the alarm only sounded for another thirty seconds or so before it shut off again. Once it was quiet again, Clarke began whispering Lexa’s name against her chest. Lexa was stirring beneath her, slowly but surely, but like clockwork the ringing was back, and Clarke flinched, partly because it startled her, but there was something else there, something she wasn’t quiet comprehending yet. She relaxed instantly though, when Lexa’s soft voice filled her ears, “It’s ok, Clarke. You can stay as long as you like…”

It hit Clarke like a ton of bricks then; the sound, the alarm, the ringing. It was her phone! “Shit! What time is it?” she barked, even as she started to sit up. Somewhere in her brain, Clarke was processing multiple things at once. She had almost forgotten about meeting her mother for brunch. She was not going to have time to go home and shower and change. She was going to have to sit across her mother, reeking like sex in last night’s dress. It was too mortifying to think about, even though she couldn’t think about anything else. At least, sometime in the night her heat had settled. That became abundantly clear when she sat up fully, and her core pressed down against the flat of a mound, instead of against a bulge. She wasn’t disappointed per se, but the change was a little disorienting at first. After a moment of thinking about it though, she realized she liked the feel of Lexa’s skin against her own way too much to even be the slightest bit disappointed by the change. It was Lexa she was into, not just her body.

Clarke almost laughed then though, as Lexa stuttered, gasping at the contact, even as she glanced over at her nightstand. “Uh, uh… Quarter to eleven. Why?” Lexa replied, her hands coming up to rest against Clarke’s sides, and for moment Clarke wasn’t sure whether she wanted to stay or to go. It would be hell if she stood her mother up, but the idea of staying, of having Lexa like this was a powerful lure for sure. As always though, the world didn’t seem to want what Clarke wanted and her phone rang out shrilly once more.

“Shit!” Clarke blurted again, and she quickly started to crawl off Lexa. She scrambled around the room looking for phone, scooping up her underwear and her bra as she went. She slipped on the bra, but it then it was very obvious she wasn’t going to be wearing that pair briefs out of there. The center still damp, and the rest was stained beyond repair. Her head whipped around as she looked for a solution, one she was sure she wasn’t going to find.

Lexa’s sudden laugh drew Clarke’s eyes back to the bed. She was sure she was grimacing when she saw Lexa flinch and Clarke tried to relax a little. Lexa pointed to somewhere behind her and said evenly, “Top drawer, on the left.”

Clarke’s head whirled around again as she turned to follow Lexa’s gesture and when she realized what Lexa meant, she padded over to Lexa’s dresser. She opened the top drawer and immediately sighed in relief, quickly pulling out a pair of boy-short style briefs and bending over to pull them on. She heard the sharp inhale of breath behind her as she bent over. Clarke smiled at the reaction and couldn’t help pausing to wiggle her hips for just a moment before continuing to put on her borrowed briefs.

Lexa growled slightly at the teasing hip wiggle, but Clarke was determined. She had to meet her mother for brunch; there was no use trying to avoid it. She pushed back against the brief flash of arousal Lexa’s husky growl caused and turned back to Lexa. She had composed herself slightly, but then Lexa smiled at her and said, “Somewhere to be?” and Clarke thought she was crazy for leaving this woman alone in this bed, when they had such important things to be learning about each other.

Of course, her phone went off again, this time right next to her feet and Clarke bent again to scoop up her dress to search the pockets (the thing she loved most about that particular dress, that it was flowy enough to have pockets). She fished the phone out and held it tightly in her fist, silencing the device as she replied, “Uh, yeah. Sorry. I’m, uh, I’m supposed to meet my mom at _eleven_ for brunch, but I guess I’m gonna be super late. I can’t go to brunch in this dress.” The phone buzzed in her other hand and for a second Clarke thought about just throwing it across the room. She checked the screen instead, resolving herself to her fate as she saw three messages from her mom already. “Shit, ok. I gotta run home for some clean clothes,” she muttered to herself, before turning to Lexa to add, “Hey, I’m sorry about this, about just running out of here like this.” She glanced down and then smiled sheepishly when she brought her eyes back up to Lexa’s, blushing when she realized she was still mostly naked, standing in the middle of Lexa’s bedroom.

Lexa just laughed though, and the sweet sound almost broke Clarke from her self-conscious moment. She still had to struggle to keep from trying to cover herself with her dress. Lexa quickly shuffled and rose from the bed though, crossing the room to Clarke with nothing but confidence in her stride. Clarke swooned a little when Lexa got close enough, her body as lithe as Clarke remembered from the night before, only with just a little less bulk. Then Lexa whispered, “Clarke, you look incredible wearing my underwear…” and Clarke felt her knees go weak. She glanced up to find Lexa’s charming smile, and Clarke immediately blushed, both at Lexa’s flattering words and at her proximity, her very naked proximity. The dress slipped in Clarke’s grip, falling to the floor in a heap as Lexa took one final step forward, standing only about a foot away. Lexa offered her hand out, Clarke took it immediately, looking back up into Lexa’s eyes, as Lexa added, “Look, I bet we could find you something to wear here, if you don’t want to go all the way home.”

Clarke thought about what it would be mean to wear Lexa’s clothes to brunch. She knew that her mom would be able to smell Lexa’s scent, probably with or without the clothes, if she was being honest. She couldn’t deny that she liked the idea of borrowing Lexa’s clothes, because that meant Clarke would have to bring them back to Lexa at some point. The desire to see Lexa again absolutely outweighed the idea of making her mom at little uncomfortable, so she simply nodded and said, “I’d love that actually. Maybe that way I’ll only be a little late.”

Lexa released her hand a moment later and suggested, “Ok, why don’t you hit the bathroom and I’ll see what I can find for you to wear. Hairbrush is in the top drawer on the left, and I think I have a spare toothbrush from the last time I was at the dentist in the bottom drawer on the same side. Just help yourself to whatever you find in there… I’m not worried about you going through my medicine cabinet.” She returned Lexa’s smile, nodding quickly as she headed for the bathroom. She closed the door, but didn’t lock it, needing just a moment to herself to pee in private. When she reopened the door, Lexa had several things laid out for her already and was digging around in the bottom drawer of the chest of drawers across the room. Clarke rumbled appreciatively at the spectacular view she was getting of Lexa’s naked butt and thighs.

Before Clarke could think about it, she was purring deep in her chest and rubbing herself against Lexa’s naked backside. Much to Clarke’s delight, Lexa sucked in a sharp breath and rolled her hips back a little at the contact. Clarke leaned in then, and whispered, “Maybe I should just skip brunch?” She ran her hand up the inside of Lexa’s thigh and brushed against Lexa’s sex as delicately as possible.

If Lexa’s scent was any indication, Lexa appreciated that idea, but then Clarke felt her stiffen slightly and Clarke knew what Lexa was going to say before she said it. Clarke listened anyway though, groaning a little as Lexa turned in her embrace and murmured, “Later, beautiful, later.” Clarke huffed disappointedly, drawing a snicker from Lexa, who just wrapped her around arms around Clarke’s waist and added softly. “I know, I know. Just more incentive for you to come back some other time, right?” Clarke nodded reluctantly, but then Lexa continued, “Now let’s go brush our teeth, I’m dying to kiss you again.”

Clarke’s eyes lit up at that and she released Lexa after another moment, almost skipping across the room on her way back to the bathroom. She heard Lexa chuckle behind her and by the time Lexa had caught up, Clarke had already dug out the spare brush and was smearing some paste on it. Lexa grabbed her own brush and Clarke smiled as she applied some paste to Lexa’s brush as well. It seemed all very domestic to Clarke as they stood at the double sinks, brushing their teeth together. It seemed right, but the next thing she knew Lexa whined and Clarke’s eyes shot towards the sound. When their eyes met, Clarke could see the sadness and heartbreak clear as day in Lexa’s eyes and Clarke immediately knew what Lexa was thinking about; her first mate, Costia. Clarke simply stepped closer to Lexa then, not wanting to crowd her, but still wanting to offer comfort if she could, and she was relieved when Lexa tentatively took a step towards her too. Toothbrush still hanging out of her mouth, Clarke immediately pulled Lexa into her arms and sighed when Lexa’s shoulders relaxed into the embrace.

After a few moments of just comforting each other, Clarke heard Lexa chuckle. Apparently, a bit of toothpaste foam had dripped out of Clarke’s mouth and landed right on Lexa’s bare shoulder. Clarke’s eyes went wide with embarrassment, but Lexa just laughed a little harder, and quickly grabbed up a tissue and wiped it off. They stepped back from each other then, a silent communication passing between them as they finished brushing their teeth, one after the other. When Lexa turned to Clarke then, she grabbed Lexa by the waist again and pulled their bodies together. She kissed Lexa, hard, hoping it made an acceptable apology. She wanted it to feel like a promise to tough, as if to say, ‘Sorry to leave, but I’ll be back.’ Eventually, Clarke reluctantly pulled back from the kiss and as she tried to catch her breath from the intensity of it, she huffed, “Clothes… I need clothes.”

Lexa laughed again, and Clarke could help but join her, laughing at the moment, at themselves, at how they just couldn’t seem to separate for more than a moment or two at a time. Lexa gave her a little squeeze and Clarke nodded shyly in response, following behind Lexa as they made their way back into the bedroom. Clarke smiled when Lexa handed her an emerald green top and some stretchy jeans. Clarke slipped on the clothes and was pleasantly surprised when they actually fit pretty well. The top was flowy enough to give a little bit of extra room around Clarke’s chest and it came down far enough to cover most of her butt, which was good because the jeans weren’t too tight, but they were definitely _tight_ , tight.

The way Lexa looked her up and down as she got dressed was distracting to say the least, but Clarke managed to keep herself on task, heading back to the bathroom for a second to grab Lexa’s hair brush. She quickly whipped her hair up into a rough bun, not really even bothering with the brush. Her hair was a lost cause anyway. When she looked in the mirror though, she caught a little glimpse of the purplish-black bruise Lexa had left on her shoulder the night before. She pressed around the edges of it to see how far it went and quickly realized Lexa had left quite the mark on her; the bruise encompassing most of the space between the base of her neck and the tip of her shoulder. She didn’t mind though; it was refreshing to be able to push down against it, to have a physical reminder of Lexa’s passion.

She finally made her way back to the bedroom and there was Lexa, standing almost awkwardly in the middle of the room, still naked and obviously floundering for something to do. Clarke sidled right up beside her, leaning over to kiss her cheek, before pulling Lexa into her arms. Clarke figured that it didn’t matter if she got Lexa’s scent all over her again; she was wearing Lexa’s underwear for fuck’s sake. There would be no hiding her evening from her mother, if she actually managed to get to their brunch date anyway. She sighed into the embrace when Lexa tightened it, but then a moment later Clarke heard her phone trilling yet again and she instantly knew it was another message from her mother. She reluctantly let go of Lexa, in favor of retrieving her phone from the bed and she grimaced when she saw, ‘Are you really going to stand me up?’ Shaking her head, she shot back a quick reply, ‘On my way! Love you!’ which Clarke reasoned wasn’t a complete lie, because she was only moments away from leaving. When she looked over at Lexa though, part of her was screaming, ‘Don’t go.’ The other, much more rational side of her was what pushed her on though, and she defeatedly started searching for her shoes.

Looking all around she didn’t find them immediately, but then Lexa chuckled from where she had settled on the edge of the bed. Clarke looked up to find Lexa smirking sexily at her. Clarke smiled sheepishly too, because Lexa’s still naked body was making it that much harder to concentrate on anything else. Lexa’s voice broke her out of her lust though, when she said, “They’re in the entryway, I think. Probably, somewhere by the front door.”

Clarke just blushed even harder and scampered out of the room and down the hall to retrieve her shoes. She turned back, like she was going to go back to the bedroom to put them on, but Lexa was there again, this time right behind her. Lexa just smirked at her even harder, closing the distance so they could hug one more time. Clarke held Lexa so tight then, wanting nothing more than to just drag Lexa back to her bedroom and forget all about her mother. Clarke wanted to feel bad about that, but with Lexa so close she just couldn’t. Finally, it was Lexa though that pulled back and said, “You have to go, right?”

Clarke nuzzled her face into the crook of Lexa’s neck, nodding somberly, as she replied the only way she could, “Yeah, but I… I can call you later, if you want.”

She hoped she wasn’t being too forward, doubts creeping in that Lexa had meant for this to be a one-night thing, but then Lexa smiled that soft smile again. Lexa’s little huffed laugh was a comfort too, but eventually, Lexa said exactly what she needed to hear, “Yeah, I want.” It was only three words, but suddenly all of Clarke’s doubts were washed away by Lexa’s lips, pressing firmly against her own. She sighed into the kiss, feeling something building inside her, only this time it went far beyond just desire. Eventually, Lexa pulled back, staring into her eyes as she said, “Call me later and let me know you got home ok?”

Clarke immediately responded, “I will!” but then not sure what else to say she continued much more nervously, “Uh, have a good day?”

Lexa chuckled good naturedly, as she opened the door, and Clarke smiled when Lexa ducked behind the open door, quickly hiding her nudity. Clarke almost laughed at the reappearance of nervous Lexa, but then Lexa turned the tables on her, smirking that sexy little smile as she said, “Oh, I will… Just me, alone in my bed all day, thinking about last night…”

Clarke pushed up into Lexa’s space for just one more moment, needing to taste that smirk for herself. Lexa simply grunted against her lips, taking to take more, but before they could get too deep, Clarke pulled away, smirking herself as she felt Lexa’s eyes follow her all the way out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... that was a thing...
> 
> Unfortunately, I won't be able to post again until Monday, as I'm working most of the day tomorrow and Sunday... Hopefully, this will be enough to tide you all over until then...
> 
> Also, I'd like to take a moment for some shameless plugging... HA... Anyway, if you've gotten this far with this story and you haven't clicked the Kudo button, I'm curious as to why. Fanfic writers, and writers in general, thrive on feedback. Whether it's just a simple notification that somebody liked my work enough to click a button, or a quick comment to say what you liked or what you didn't, every bit of feedback I get makes me a better writer and a better person. So click that button, or drop me a line if you want. I look forward to hearing from you either way. 
> 
> Additionally, if you like the way I write, and you're interested in WayHaught and Wynonna Earp, then check out some of my other stories. My first one, titled Play Along, is a look at some of the things that could have happened during season one of the show. I'll admit it's probably a little rough around the edges, but I think it's a good story. My more recent fic, The Bandit and The Barmaid, is a Wild West AU, where GNC Nicole struggles to find her place in the world. Lucky for her though, she finds Waverly along the way too.
> 
> Ok, with that out of the way... Have a good weekend and I'll be back on Monday...


	9. The Almost Accident

When Abby awoke the next morning, her head was still swimming from the events of the night before. ‘At least, I’m not drowning,’ Abby thought as she was getting out of bed. She chuckled to herself bitterly when ‘Better yet, at least it only feels like I’m drowning,’ immediately followed that thought. She went on about her usual morning routine as best she could, pushing herself through a most of her workout before heading into the bathroom for a long hot shower. The hot water and the steam helped to wash away some of the memories from the night before, or moreover, the last of Raven’s scent that was still lingering on her skin. When she was done in the bathroom, teeth brushed and hair pulled back in a slick ponytail, she moved back into the bedroom to get dresses. After going through most of her wardrobe though, she settled for a causal three-quarter sleeved shirt and a pair of jeans. She didn’t really know why it took her so long to pick something to wear; she was just getting a hangover brunch with Clarke, but she felt like putting in a little effort was necessary. It was better than the mis-matched sweats Clarke would probably show up in anyway. She tried not to think about why Clarke would be dressed that way as she made her way downstairs to make some coffee.

While it was brewing, she went out to grab the Sunday paper off the stoop. She had delivered every week, even if she could just read it on her phone instead. There was something about having the physical paper that felt good, more tangible, like the words contained within had more weight because they were printed. Coffee and paper finally in hand, she moved out onto the patio to relax for a few minutes before going to meet Clarke. As she settled in her usual chair, she smiled softly at the empty chair across from her. Years ago, she had sat at that very table with Jake, and then with Jake and Clarke, after Clarke was old enough to sit up on her own. It was almost like a family tradition, eating breakfast together on Sunday mornings, catching up on all the little things they had missed about each other over the last week. Sometimes, with Abby’s schedule at the hospital, and Jake and Clarke’s busy lives too, it was hard for them to find time as a family. After her divorce from Jake, and then Jake’s death, Clarke grew exceptionally distant, which was to be expected, but that left Abby alone with her coffee… and the Travel section. The first few months of eating breakfast alone was a bitter time, where most mornings she just cried all over the paper and barely touched her coffee. Over time though, she began to relish in the quiet reflection the down time allowed her. Eventually, no stress from work or fight with Clarke could invade her time to herself, to sit on her patio and drink her coffee and just exist.

Eventually, her eyes wandered over the empty chair again though, and something pinged in her heart at the idea of having someone to share her mornings with again, or more specifically, having Raven to share them with. She didn’t let herself get too far down that rabbit hole though, because she knew unequivocally, that nothing could ever happen between Raven and herself. There was just too many things in the way, too many years, too many complications, between them, and Abby knew deep down that if they tried anything, it would end badly. Or, at least, that what she was telling herself anyway.

Trying to distract herself, she pulled out her phone and started a text to Clarke, only to realize she had no idea what to say. Anything she said about what she had done, or who she had seen, the night before would be a lie. She hoped that maybe she could just keep Clarke talking about her evening and in turn about Lexa, but that in its self, wasn’t something she really wanted to hear about either. No parent ever really wants to think about their kid and their kid’s sexual partners. She could at least be clinical in that regard. She thought if she had taught Clarke anything, it was to be responsible for herself and her actions. Clarke knew that if she had unprotected sex with anyone, no matter their presentation, that she needed to be ready for the possible consequences. It was still a little hard to accept though, because really, Clarke would always her little girl, precious because she was hers.

Wallowing for a few more minutes, Abby finally decided to just send Clarke a wake-up message, a simple, ‘Good Morning, Sunshine!’ to test the waters. When a response didn’t come after a minute or two, Abby tried to return to the paper, picking up the Science section this time. She browsed through a few articles until one about mosaicism caught her eye. It really was a fascinating concept, how each cell in your body is slightly different for the last, and that those differences are the cause for things like heart murmurs and cancer. It was a little morbid of course, but being a doctor meant that Abby dealt with death a lot. When she finished the article, she realized Clarke still hadn’t responded, so she sent another message. ‘Yoohoo! Clarke! Wake up!’

Another few minutes passed, as Abby scanned through the Arts section. She’d never really being interested in fine art, or the Arts in general, but she had made it a habit to skim through that section of the paper after Clarke had changed her major to in college. Of course, Abby had been disappointed and confused when she found about the change. She had been sure that Clarke would follow in her footsteps. Like parents and children do though, they’d had a big fight about it, to the point where Clarke just stopped returning her calls and texts. In the dark days that followed, Abby had taken to scanning through the Arts section every Sunday, just looking for Clarke’s name. She chuckled to herself as she glanced down at her phone, realizing a full half-hour had passed since her first message to Clarke. She figured must have had a really late night if she was still sleeping at ten am. She waited a little while longer, shuffling through the other sections of the paper, skipping over the business section in favor of reading the Comics instead. When another fifteen minutes had passed and Clarke still hadn’t answered she decided to just go to brunch by herself, and if Clarke showed up then she did; if she didn’t, she didn’t. She spent another minute or two trying to figure out how to tell Clarke that though, without sounding angry anyway. After typing and retyping a couple times, she finally sent, ‘Well, I’m going to brunch with or without you, so just call me when you do get up.’ She knew it was still a bit of a dig, but she figured she could get away with giving Clarke at least a little bit of a hard time.

Coffee gone and the sections of the paper in various states of disarray all over the table, Abby huffed and grumbled as she cleaned up the paper and took her mug inside to wash it. She was stalling a little, and she knew it, but she couldn’t help herself, still hoping Clarke would wake up in time to meet her. She could have just dropped her mug into the dishwasher. She had plenty of others, but instead she washed and dried it and put it away. She dawdled a little as she finished getting ready, taking her time picking out some simple earrings and getting her shoes on. When she got out onto the sidewalk in front of her townhouse, she realized it was really a gorgeous morning; sunny, but not hot, with a little Fall breeze mixed in. She had planned to drive to the restaurant, but since she wasn’t really on a schedule anymore, and it was so nice out, she decided to walk. She thought maybe the walk would help her relax a little too.

The walk proved to be more of a challenge than she thought it would be though. About half way to the restaurant, she looked to her left, just a glance really, and somewhere in the back of her head she thought, ‘Oh, I didn’t know there was a car repair place over here.’ She looked back at the shop then, thinking about needing to get the brakes on her car replaced, and that’s when she noticed the sign, ‘Ark Towing and Service.’ She looked all around then, half of her hoping she wouldn’t see Raven at all, but the other half desperate for just the opposite. It seemed fate didn’t want to make things easier on her either, when through the open repair bay door, she spotted a pair of legs sticking out from under the car. One of them was glinting in the sunlight. She knew immediately who those legs belonged to, but before she could let herself cross the street, her nerves had her quickly skedaddling down the sidewalk instead.

Two or three blocks later, Abby slumped down onto a bench and cradled her head in her hands for a few minutes, frustrated that just the mere sight of Raven had sent her ducking for cover. She knew why too; she just wasn’t sure she could control herself around Raven. Just that glimpse of her legs sticking out from under that car had Abby’s stomach fluttering and her face crooking up in a smile. She couldn’t feel this way about Clarke’s best friend. It was wrong, and she knew it, but she had to admit there was a part of her that just didn’t care. It was the more primal part of her, whispering in the back of her head, but that little voice seemed to get louder and louder every time she even thought about Raven. Breathing deeply, forcing down against her baser urges, Abby did manage to get control of herself. She even tried psyching herself up, thinking, ‘It’s over, done with, gone… Move on.’

And, move on she did. It was only another few blocks to the restaurant, and she made to the door only a few minutes after eleven. Still feeling a little worn though, she couldn’t help but send Clarke one more message, this one actually betraying some of her disappointment in being stood up by her own daughter. Abby knew that if she had gone home with someone last night, or had someone come home with her, she would have been just as reluctant to make their brunch date, but that knowledge only got her so far. So, while she could understand Clarke’s inattention, she wasn’t going to let her daughter leave her to eat by herself, in public no less, without at least a little guilt trip thrown in.

When her phone vibrated in her hand a few moments later though, Abby was pleasantly surprised to find that Clarke was actually on her way. She smiled as the host showed her to their table, the last one in a row of tables by the window. She could sit with her back to the corner too, so that was definitely a blessing. When the server came by, she ordered two mimosas, one for herself and one for Clarke. She settled in to wait for Clarke before she ordered food though, not wanting to assume and then order the wrong thing for Clarke. Abby didn’t really mind waiting; there were plenty of people to watch inside the restaurant. There were servers bustling here and there, and patrons at most of the other tables around her. She was just making up a story in her head about a young couple a few tables down, when she saw Clarke walk in. The mis-matched sweats she was expecting were missing, a pair of tight jeans and green flowy top in their place. Something looked a little off about the outfit, but Abby didn’t think too much of it when she spotted the wide smile on Clarke’s face. She smiled too, when she noticed Clarke’s hair. The messy bun was a dead give-away. Clarke had obviously spent the night at Lexa’s place. She glanced over her daughter again and realized that was why her outfit seemed strange; those weren’t Clarke’s clothes. She braced herself then, standing as Clarke made her way closer to their table. She tried to hold her breath as she took Clarke into her arms for a brief hug, but even after they parted, she was still a little overwhelmed by Lexa’s scent. It was literally all over Clarke, but Abby simply pushed past the thoughts that came rushing at her then, vying for a causal greeting as she said, “Hey… I’m glad you made it.”

Clarke at least had the self-awareness to look sheepish as they settled in on opposite sides of their table, replying almost softly, “Yeah… me too…”

Chuckling a little, Abby couldn’t help but think that Clarke didn’t really mean that. Clarke shot her a bit of a look at the sound though, and Abby tried to sound understanding when she said, “I guess it’s safe to say you had a good time last night?” She hoped it sounded light and friendly, just a way to get Clarke talking, but she was immediately kicking herself for bringing it up. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to control her facial expression if Clarke mentioned Raven. Just thinking the name made her flinch, but at least she could be thankful that Clarke didn’t notice the little grimace, as Clarke had already taken up her menu to figure out what she wanted to for breakfast.

Abby felt her jaw clench automatically when Clarke’s reply came through her menu, a little muffled, but clear nonetheless, “Oh yeah, Rae, O and I tore it up last night.” Abby hoped she looked normal, or as normal as she could look, when Clarke glanced over the top of her menu then. She tried to hide how tense she felt, simply raising her eyebrow at her daughter expectantly, praying she looked interested instead of uncomfortable. Clarke just laughed though, and Abby nearly sighed when she elaborated, “Actually, now that I think about it, I really didn’t see either of them after the first 15 minutes or so. O went off with one of the bartenders I think, and I don’t have a clue what happened to Rae after we parted. She’s tough though, she can totally take care of herself. I, uh, I mean, I may have… sort of… met someone last night, so yeah I guess you could say I was pretty distracted.”

Abby laughed then, but mostly because she thought it was better than crying. There it was again, the reminder of her failed attempt at meeting someone new. She tried to focus on Clarke though, the blush that was creeping over her cheeks and the shy little smile on her daughter’s lips. Clarke shifted a little uncomfortably under her gaze though and that’s when Abby noticed the evidence of how Clarke’s evening had ended, staring her right in the face. The collar of Clarke’s obviously borrowed shirt had drifted to the side, and it was just enough for Abby to see the edge of a wide, deep bruise on Clarke’s shoulder. Abby relished in the idea of teasing her daughter about it, but quickly decided tact and discretion was definitely the better approach. “Oh, I think I know all I need to know about that, thank you,” was all she said, but she made sure to tap the side of her nose to make sure Clarke got the point.

Clarke’s blush deepened at the gesture, and Abby smiled as Clarke stammered a little, hiding herself behind her menu again as she mumbled, “Yeah, sorry about that, Mom. I, uh, I obviously didn’t go home last night, so uh, I borrowed some of her clothes. I didn’t really think it was appropriate to wear my club dress to casual brunch, you know?”

Beyond amused, Abby smiled, thinking it was adorable that Clarke thought she could suggest that that musk all over her was just from the clothes. She didn’t want to burst her daughter’s bubble though, so she let the clinical side of her brain take over before she replied, saying, “It’s ok, Clarke… but, while the mother in me really doesn’t want to ask this, the doctor in me has to... You are being safe, right?” She eyes closed briefly, not really wanting to hear the answer, but she knew she needed to anyway.

Clarke’s exasperated tone was enough to get Abby to re-open her eyes though, nodding as Clarke blurted out, “God, Mom. Of course! We used a condom, jeez… And, I have still have my implant, too. You said that thing’s good for ten years, right?”

At just the right (or maybe wrong) moment the server appeared to take their orders. Abby thought it was pretty obvious that the girl had heard the end of Clarke’s blunt response, that is if her snickering under her breath was anything to go by. After a moment though, she simply turned to Abby to take her order first, and Abby thought it was nice of her to give Clarke a minute to get over her apparent embarrassment before engaging her. Abby ordered French toast, well done of course, and a side of turkey bacon, also well done. She heard Clarke snicker a little at that, and when the server turned to her, Abby was happy to see her daughter had mostly moved past her embarrassment. At least enough to order herself a short stack of pancakes, with a side of real bacon. Clarke was sneering a her when the server turned away, saying she’d bring them another round of mimosas with their food.

Not rising to Clarke’s baited comment about the _real_ bacon, Abby turned her attention to her drink as she proposed, “Good, good for you… Now, can we talk about something else while I try to wash certain mental images out of my brain with the rest of this mimosa?”

Abby smiled gratefully when Clarke just laughed at her and picked up her own glass, clinking it against Abby’s as she replied, “I’ll drink to that.”

They both took a sip of their drinks, but then there was a moment where they both looked around awkwardly. Abby was struggling to think of something else to talk about, anything to stop her from thinking about that bruise, when suddenly Clarke asked, “So, what did you do last night?”

Abby smiled widely at Clarke’s question, mostly to keep herself from grimacing instead. She tried to keep her voice even as she replied, as casually as she could, “Oh, uh, I went out with some friends from work, actually.” Abby thought she could just leave it at that, but then she glanced up and saw Clarke looking at her, all eager and expectant. Abby just sighed before she continued, “We had a pretty good time, although now that I think about it, it was kinda just like your situation. Once we got inside the bar, I didn’t see much of either of my friends for the rest of evening… I did leave kind of early though.” Abby paused not sure what else to say. Nothing she had said so far was a lie, and that was good, but then something stirred inside her and she suddenly felt compelled to add, “I sort of met someone last night too, but, uh, it started out complicated and it only seemed to get more so as the evening went on. I mean, I really liked her and there was this, this connection. I don’t know, I can’t explain it, but it felt like kismet or something… But, I guess, if life has shown me anything, it’s that fate can be a fickle thing. I, uh, I’m mostly just trying to put the whole night out of my head.”

Not sure what else she could say without giving herself away, Abby waited with bated breath for Clarke’s reply. She hadn’t needed to tell Clarke any of that, but she couldn’t deny that it felt like betraying the one moment she and Raven had had to not at least acknowledge it. She was sort of surprised though, when Clarke smiled at her, and asked easily, “Mom, when have you ever let complicated stop you before?”

“It’s— I mean, it’s not that easy, Clarke. First of all, I’m getting kind of old for the mating game, don’t you think?” Abby replied jokingly, even though she knew that wasn’t the real reason she couldn’t pursue things with Raven. She thought it sounded reasonable enough, and it wasn’t a lie either. She just needed to get out of this conversation without actually saying Raven’s name. That would not be good… She sighed when she looked back to Clarke once again, finding a hard grimace on Clarke’s face, but her eyebrows were raised too. Abby thought she looked half puzzled and half pissed-off, and Abby knew exactly why. Clarke hated to talk about age, or anything remotely related to Abby’s mortality, mostly because Abby knew Clarke didn’t want to be alone. She’d already lost her father, twice really, and if something happened to Abby, Clarke wouldn’t have any family left. Abby took a little comfort in the fact that Clarke was an adult now. She knew that she had planned accordingly after Jake’s death to make sure Clarke would have financial support if she ever needed it too. Still, the fact remained that, while Clarke had friends and would probably have a mate and family of her own someday, Abby knew her death, at least if it was a sudden one, would probably destroy her daughter. Shuddering at the thought pulled Abby back to reality, and she relented because she knew she had to, backpedaling as she nervously added, “Ok, fine. I know what you’re going to say, that I shouldn’t talk like that, but I assure you, I _am_ too old to be starting something with… with an omega in her twenties.”

Clarke’s new general look of shock was pretty much the reaction Abby was expecting to that. It was so easy to see what Clarke was thinking, ‘I’m an omega in my twenties.’ Eventually though, Clarke’s initial shock seemed to wear off, and Abby almost choked on a mouth full of mimosa when Clarke suddenly blurted, “Well done, Mom! Wait, do you think she’s into you?”

Abby cleared her throat, rough from the heavy swallow she had to take to keep herself from spitting her mimosa all over Clarke’s surprised face. Her voice was still husky, to the point where she barely recognized it, when she replied, “I don’t know, Clarke.” She swallowed again as movement over Clarke’s shoulder caught her eye and she quickly added, “…but I do know is that our food is coming.” She gestured past Clarke to where their server was approaching with a tray full of food. Thankfully Clarke spun to look too, and Abby took the second Clarke wasn’t looking to let her features fall. She felt tight all over, like the stress of dodging Raven’s name was making her skin feel like it was shrinking. She shook off the feeling the best she could as Clarke swung back her way, Clarke’s eyes still following the food. Abby’s stomach growled loudly as her food was placed down in front of her, and after a brief request to the server about some extra napkins, they both tucked in. They ate steadily and made only the smallest of small talk around their full mouths, mostly consisting of things like, ‘God, I love bacon,’ or ‘Could you pass the syrup?’

Through the whole meal, Abby tried to come up with a way to actually answer Clarke’s question. She knew Clarke would ask her again when they were done eating, so she had to have something to say. All she could come up with were more half-truths and near mentions. Eventually, after swallowing her last bite of turkey bacon, she knew she couldn’t avoid Clarke’s question anymore, so she finally said, “I think… I think she did like me, but I mean, how would you feel if you showed up for one of our little dates and found me sitting next to someone only a few years older than you?” She could the way that resonated, Clarke’s grimace drawing down just a twitch. She could tell Clarke wasn’t totally swayed either though, so she tried again, adding, “I didn’t get her number or anything either... Hell, I was too much of a coward to even say goodnight to her before I left. That— That was a mistake, but I just need to move on; holding on to things you can’t change isn’t healthy.”

It was so quiet for a moment, and Abby could tell Clarke was pulling apart what she had said, trying to read between the lines. Abby hoped desperately that Clarke hadn’t spoken to Raven this morning, otherwise she’d probably just let the cat right out of the bag. Clarke’s expression softened a little though, and Abby was relieved when Clarke finally said, “Mom, listen… as much as I might not like the idea of you dating someone, if this woman, this omega, makes you happy, then who am I to judge, you know? Sometimes you have to do things for your own wellbeing and worry about the complicated parts later.”

Abby couldn’t help but chuckle at Clarke’s attempt at wisdom, knowing her daughter’s optimism came from a place of youth, not experience. Despite that, Abby still felt like, at least on some level, Clarke was right; sometimes it’s easier to say sorry than ask permission. She wasn’t ready to admit that though, and simply replied, “Oh, Clarke, what I wouldn’t give to go back to your age with the things I know now.”

Clarke came right back with more of her so called ‘wisdom,’ smiling as she said, “Mom, you don’t have to go back to your twenties to enjoy your life. Just go with the flow and see where it takes you, yeah? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Abby shook her head at that thought, ‘Oh you know, not only could I get my heart broken worse than it already is, but I could also probably ruin your friendship with your best friend, and my relationship with you in one fell swoop.’ Instead she decided on the simpler, less life-threatening, version of that, straightforwardly saying, “Murphy’s law, Clarke. If it can go wrong, it will.” The server chose that moment to come by with the check, and Abby slipped her credit card inside and handed it back without even looking at the bill.

When Abby looked back over at Clarke, her daughter smiled sheepishly and said, “Thanks for lunch, Mom.” She paused thoughtfully for a second before she asked abruptly, “Hey, did you drive here?”

“Oh, no. When I figured out you were going to be late, I decided to walk, try to clear my head,” Abby explained, before quietly adding, “You can see how well that worked, though.”

If Clarke noted her morose tone, she obviously didn’t think it warranted a comment, because she just said, “Yeah, well, good luck with that.”

They both grew quiet after that and eventually, the server came back by with Abby’s card and her receipts. Abby signed the merchant copy with a little flourish, making sure to add on a healthy tip to the total for the service they had received. They made their way outside together, still in silence, but that was mostly because Abby couldn’t stop thinking about what Clarke had said, ‘What _was_ the worst that could happen?’ She imagined several things then; Clarke throwing an absolute fit, moving out of her and Raven’s shared place, moving out of Abby’s life for good. But, with those thoughts came things like, holding Raven in her arms again, and kissing her, and romancing her and taking care of her, even if Raven would never admit needing it. She could see their whole lives there in the span of a second but would being with Raven be worth losing Clarke… Abby knew the answer to that. She knew it, until it hurt to know it, and then some.

They got barely outside the front doors before Clarke suddenly pulled her into big hug. Abby relished in it too, loving that she got to do things like this now, share things with Clarke and have Clarke share with her in return. She squeezed her daughter especially tight when Clarke finally said, “I just want you to be happy and this may seem weird or whatever, but if you ever need to talk, you can call me, ok?”

Abby nodded as she pulled back from their embrace and laughed as she replied good-naturedly, “Thanks, Clarke. I’ll keep that in mind.” She couldn’t help herself but to pull Clarke back in for a moment, only to wince when she got another good whiff of Lexa’s scent intermingling itself with Clarke’s. Clarke stiffened in the embrace too, and Abby let her go, laughing as she said, “Alright, kiddo, I love you, but you stink.” Abby caught another glimpse of the bruise on Clarke’s shoulder and couldn’t resist teasing Clarke about it this time, smirking as she whispered, “And, tell this new friend of yours she better be more careful about where she marks you from now on. Nobody wants to see that.” Abby tapped her own shoulder just next to the collar of her shirt for emphasis.

Abby’s smirk only got wider when Clarke turned beet-red and looked down shyly. Then Clarke tugged at the collar of Lexa’s shirt, and Abby almost laughed at her outright, but she managed to keep it in when Clarke awkwardly said, “I’ll be sure to pass that message along to Lexa when I talk to her later. Thanks, Mom.” Clarke made a speedy retreat after that, and Abby watched her go, hoping that whatever was happening between her friend and her daughter worked out, because while she would hate to lose her friend, Abby thought that when push came to shove, she would choose her daughter over anything, or anyone, in the world.

 

~~~

 

When Raven awoke, for just a second, she felt totally confused. Her mouth felt like it had cotton stuffed inside. She spat out whatever was in there, but then a wet, stringy substance flopped out of her mouth and down onto her neck. She shivered hard, causing the substance to roll and stick on its way down over her shoulder. She opened her eyes and blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision. Finally looking down, she discovered that the view down her body was blocked, a big, dark mass of hair obscuring in her vision. She blinked frantically for another moment, thinking maybe she had made some huge mistake, but when she shivered again at the thought, the darkness before her shifted and groaned loudly.

‘Oh right, O,’ Raven remembered suddenly, shifting and being shifted upon, until too much of Octavia’s weight landed heavily on her body, putting pressure low on her belly. Shocked by the suddenness, she groaned as she blurted out, “Ugh! Shit O, not the bladder, come on!” Her friend just groaned again and snuggled closer, so Raven shifted hard under Octavia’s weight. After a couple moments of struggle, she managed to slide out onto the small, but unoccupied section of the bed. She slipped her brace on as fast as she could and made a beeline directly to the bathroom.

Feeling oh-so-relieved, Raven returned to her room a few minutes later, to find Octavia star-fished in the middle of her bed. She shook her head and smiled as Octavia snored softly into one of her pillows. Not wanting to disturb her obviously, comfortable roommate, and really not wanting to be alone with her thoughts with nothing to do, Raven checked the clock. Ten in the morning on a Sunday a perfectly reasonable time to go to the shop and get a little jump on the rest of week’s repairs. She grabbed some jeans and a work shirt from her closet, and some clean undies and socks from her dresser, before she returned to the bathroom to shower and get dressed for the day. Just before she walked out the door to head to the shop, she had a sudden thought and sent Octavia a quick text just to let her know where she was going. The last thing she wanted to do was upset Octavia with her sudden absence, especially because the night before was supposed to have been all about Octavia’s birthday. She was sure Octavia would have probably much rather gotten drunk and laid than spend the night taking care of her and her pesky feelings. She quickly realized she was going to need to figure out a way to properly thank Octavia for last night.

Less than an hour later, Raven was settled in at the shop, about to put some work in on an older, blue sedan; the one that when the owner had brought it in, Raven had told him not to bother fixing it and just get something newer. He had insisted on replacing the entire rear suspension system and the rear brakes anyway though. She couldn’t imagine why he would want to pour that much money into a car that was only worth about half what the repair bill would be, but she simply shook her head and agreed to his request. She had promised him it would be ready late Monday afternoon, but now that she had decided to do some weekend work, it would likely be ready for him before lunch the following day.

Sprawled out on her creeper, Raven was laying under the rear axle when she smelled it the first time. She slid out from under the car as fast as she could and looked around wildly, thinking, ‘This can’t be happening. I bet I look like a hot mess.’ She didn’t spot the source immediately, but the wind darted about for a moment and Raven breathed in deep, thinking that maybe she had just imagined Abby’s scent in the air. It was that same sweet, yet strangely, sterile smell, but then it was there again, and much stronger this time. She quickly hobbled out to the sidewalk and turned into the breeze. She immediately spotted someone scurrying away. They were across the street and down the block, but Raven knew instantly who it was; she could smell the panic in Abby’s scent. There was no point to chase after her though, Abby would be long gone by the time Raven could even get to where she had just been.

Utterly disappointed, Raven reluctantly returned to the shop. She tried to get back to work on the old clunker, but she just couldn’t concentrate. That’s not a good situation when there are two tons worth of steel and plastic and fiberglass hovering just a few feet over her head. Frustrated beyond measure, Raven finally decided to just take a break and see if she could get her mojo back. It was times like this she wished she was still a smoker, because a cigarette sounded so good right about now, but she knew she couldn’t give in that particular urge, especially after almost five years without one. Instead, she made her way to the breakroom and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. She cooled her heels for a few minutes, literally, with her feet kicked up on a table, head back, taking deep breaths, but it didn’t really help. It was like Abby’s scent had wormed its way into her brain again and while the constant reminder of Abby sort of felt like torture, she found the smell too alluring to be truly upset about it.

‘God, Raven get a grip,’ she thought when she finally hefted herself up out of her chair and made her way back out into the shop proper. She growled at her own brain, feeling beyond annoyed, but after only another few minutes, she did manage to get her shit together long enough to finish pulling out the old struts and shocks. She was just pulling the last piece out when Abby’s scent rushed back into her senses, stronger than before. ‘That’s not lingering… She has to be close,’ Raven thought frantically, and she immediately began struggling to get out from under the car, clumsily banging into the exhaust system on the way out. She shuffled as quickly as she could to the sidewalk, only to hear a voice behind her shout, “Jesus, Raven, why are you bleeding?!”

Raven whirled around and gasped in surprise when she found Clarke quickly approaching her. She ran her friend’s words through her head again, realizing that her face did feel warmer on the right side than the left. She reached up absently to touch it, and suddenly she understood why. Half her face was covered in blood and she hadn’t even noticed because of how intoxicated she was by Abby’s scent. She blinked a few times as a drop of blood dripped off her eyebrow and onto the pavement. She was too stunned by the sight to resist as Clarke rushed her into the shop again, and back into the office. She wasn’t worried though. Things like this actually happened to her a lot, so she knew that first aid kit was stocked, and she also knew Clarke knew where they kept it, bracketed to the wall behind the office door. She watched from the desk chair, the one Clarke had just unceremoniously just pushed her into, as Clarke pulled out some gauze pads to soak up some of the blood. Raven still winced when Clarke pressed them up against the oozing wound on her forehead, even though she was expecting the pressure. Clarke pulled the gauze away a moment or so later and sighed as she said, “Raven, I think you need stitches… Here, can you apply pressure while I call my mom? She’ll know what to do.”

Freezing at the mention of Abby, Raven sat stock still in her chair. Her mind reeled, and she suddenly felt a little sick to her stomach. She very much wanted to see Abby again, if for no other reason than to hear Abby explain why she hadn’t even said goodbye to her last night. She knew that having Clarke there with them would mean they couldn’t actually talk about it though. Their reunion would be incredibly awkward anyway, and not being able to get closure would ultimately leave Raven feeling terribly disheartened. She winced as her friend pushed against the cut on her forehead again and she quickly reached up and placed her fingers over Clarke’s. ‘Say something, idiot! You can’t let her bring Abby here!’ a voice screamed in the back of Raven’s head, but all she could do was gape at her friend as she watched Clarke bring her phone to her ear.

A few seconds later, she heard Clarke animatedly exclaim, “Mom, Hey! So, I just showed up at Rae’s repair shop and found her bleeding all over herself again. She must have hit her head ‘cause there’s a gash on her forehead… She hasn’t said a word since I got here either, and that’s _so_ not Raven.” Raven was so fixated on what Clarke was saying she almost missed the sound of Abby’s gasp through the phone, but then Clarke rushed on and Raven tried to push the memory of that particular sound out of her head, “I mean, this girl talks in her sleep, so yeah. I just— I don’t know what to do, what should I do?”

Clarke paused then, and Raven strained to hear Abby on the other end, but only a muffled rushed whisper came from the speaker. Just the hint of that silky, voice made Raven shiver hard in her seat. Much to her chagrin, Clarke noticed the involuntary movement, and quickly interrupted, “Mom, I think she might be going into shock… she’s shaking.”

Abby must have been near shouting at Clarke through the phone then, because Raven could hear Abby’s next words, clear and clean, “Take her to St. Mark’s. It’s around the corner from you, and I’ll catch a cab back and meet you there.”

Raven’s heart was thudding in her chest by the time she heard Clarke sigh in relief and say, “Great! See you soon.” She was so overwhelmed she could only stare blankly as Clarke approached her again, ducking down into her line of sight as she said, “Rae, we gotta get you to the hospital, ok? Mom said St. Mark’s is right around the corner… Do you know where that is?” Raven simply nodded, her anxiety and anticipation conflicting inside her brain too much to form words, much less sentences. The thought of being in the same building, much less the same room with Abby again, had her absolutely speechless. Clarke just smiled at her apparent understanding of her first question though, and simply pushed forward to ask another, “Can you make it there? Or do I need to call 911 for an ambulance?”

The idea of riding in an ambulance sort of snapped Raven out of her stupor a little, but she was sure she still sounded a little dumb anyway when she replied, “No, I can… I can make it. Will you walk with me?”

Clarke’s mood shifted significantly when Raven finally spoke, if Clarke’s furious nodding was anything to go by and when she stood, Clarke immediately ducked into her side and helped her back to the front of the shop. Raven leaned against the wall outside, still holding the gauze tightly to her forehead as she watched Clarke pull the big, bay door closed behind them. Clarke then turned to her and said, “Ok, Rae, which way?”

Raven looked left and that gestured limply in that direction, pushing off the wall as she did. Raven wanted to be affronted when Clarke ducked under her arm again and started leading them down the sidewalk, but she actually felt comforted when she caught another whiff of Abby’s scent intermingled with Clarke’s. There was something else there too, but it was Abby that she focused on. She couldn’t really bring herself to care too much about appearances then, so happy at feeling close to Abby that she was going to take Clarke’s help and be grateful for it.

At the corner, Raven looked left again. She knew St. Marks was down that way, but she was still relieved when she spotted an ambulance down the street. She pointed at it dumbly still feeling a little numb, but Clarke immediately nodded and continued helping her down the block. It was only another minute or so before they came right to the emergency room entrance. Clarke squeezed her arm a little and Raven simply whispered, “thanks,” under her breath.

The amount of blood still on Raven’s face and the stain on her shirt obviously alarmed the attendant at the front desk and the woman immediately called for an orderly to get a wheelchair. Before Raven could protest, she was being pushed down into the chair and wheeled off towards an exam room, with Clarke trailing only a few steps behind. The orderly got her settled onto a bed just moments before a doctor came in, sounding a little winded. “Raven Reyes?” he asked as he entered, and when Raven nodded, he continued, “My name is Dr. Eric Jackson, but most people just call me Jackson. Abby Griffin called ahead and said you were coming in with a head injury. Since she’s a colleague and friend, I thought I’d come down and check you out personally, so let’s take a look, shall we?” Raven’s eyes widened again at the mention of Abby again, but Jackson’s muted tone and easy manner were soothing to the point that it was only a momentary reaction. She simply nodded again, and let Jackson peel the blood-soaked gauze away from her forehead. He puzzled over the cut before he replaced the gauze with some fresh bandages. She winced a little when he took a small penlight out of his coat pocket and flashed it over her eyes a couple times. Seemingly satisfied he finally said, “Ok, so that’s good news, you seem aware and coherent. Your pupils are equal and reactive too, so you probably don’t have a concussion. The bad news is you are going to need some sutures to close up that laceration.” Raven nodded once more and looked over and reached out for her friend. Clarke quickly approached and took her hand, squeezing reassuringly. She saw Jackson turn away to face an instrument table and after a moment she could see him busy himself, preparing the few tools he would need to stitch up her forehead.

Before he could turn back though, the door to the exam room opened abruptly and Raven forced herself to stifle a gasp as she took in Abby’s still, silhouetted form in the doorway. They made eye contact for just the briefest of moments, before Clarke’s voice broke in, “Mom, thanks so much for coming!”

Clarke was in between them then, moving to wrap Abby in a big hug. Raven felt the loss of her friend’s tight grip immediately, and her fingers twitched restlessly. Instead of wanting to reach for her friend again though, the desire to grasp for Abby’s hand surged to the forefront of her mind. Raven could only stare stupidly as Jackson approached Abby next and murmured, “Long time, no see, Abby.”

Abby’s smile was so bright then, as she extended her hand to Jackson, and replied warmly, “It has been too long, Jackson, truly, but tell me, how’s our patient?” Raven’s heart skipped a beat at Abby’s words. She swooned at the idea of being Abby’s… anything. Luckily for her, Clarke and Jackson’s attentions were firmly affixed to Abby, so Raven had a chance to just watch her, to revel in her presence and her scent and ultimately, the comfort those things provided her. She barely noticed when all eyes in the room turned back to her though, too intent on watching Abby. When their eyes met again, Abby’s facial expression was polite, but distant, and that hurt a little bit. The tone of Abby’s voice was what really tore at Raven’s heart though, a little clinical, but also obviously strained, like Abby was uncomfortable just being there. That tension combined with Abby next words only made Raven feel that much worse too, when Abby finally said, “So, Raven… Jackson tells me you just need a couple sutures and you’ll right as rain. I’m sure you’re in good hands…”

For just a second, Raven didn’t understand, but when she realized Abby was intending to leave, and directly, she couldn’t really control her reaction. She reached out and clutched desperately at Abby’s slightly outstretched hand and blurted out, “Wait, wait…” She swallowed, realizing what she was doing and who was watching, but she scrambled and managed to quickly add, “I— I’m sure Jackson is, uh, great and all, but will you— will you do it instead? I mean, I’m not trying to be rude, but Clarke’s always saying you’re the top surgeon in the city, so… yeah...” She thought she was being pretty convincing, but her voice broke off when she caught the look on Clarke’s face. Her friend’s skin was flushed, and Raven couldn’t tell if Clarke was embarrassed or angry, but it seemed to Raven like she had just told everyone some big, fat secret.

There was a short silence then, and Raven felt just as shocked and worried as Abby looked. It seemed Abby recovered quickly though, glancing around, first at Clarke and then Jackson. Raven allowed her eyes to follow Abby’s too, and she found Clarke blushing even more furiously, looking away. Jackson was simply nodding and smiling like he agreed. Raven caught his eye just as he replied, “Well, Clarke’s got you there, Abby. You are the top of the class when it comes to slice and dice.”

Raven’s focus instantly shifted back to Abby and when she saw Abby blush a little at the compliment, she smiled, thinking there was no way Abby would say no after that. Raven sighed in relief anyway though, when Abby finally agreed, “Ok, ok. You sure that’s ok with you, Jackson? I mean, you’ll be the one sued for malpractice, if I mess it up.”

Turning towards the sound, Raven managed to focus on Jackson again as he chuckled and said, “I’m pretty sure you won’t mess up the five sutures it’ll take to close up that cut. You could probably do it in your sleep… Just let the nurses know when you’re done, and they’ll get her ready to be discharged, ok?” Raven caught Abby nodding out of the corner of her eye, but she continued to focus on Jackson as he came over to shake her hand. His smile was almost contagious, easy and wide, and Raven found herself smiling as she watched him say goodbye to Abby and Clarke before he slipped back out into the hall.

As Raven expected, Clarke cleared her throat and said, “So, I think I’m gonna go call O and let her know what’s going on. I just— I’m not sure I can watch you get stitches, ok, Rae?”

Smiling, Raven already knew Clarke wouldn’t be able to handle watching her get stitches. At one point, Clarke had wanted to be a doctor, like her mother. That changed after her first week in Anatomy and Physiology class her sophomore year though. Raven could remember it so clearly; Clarke had come home crying, saying that she didn’t think she could look at blood and guts and death every day for the rest of her life. After much discussion, it had been Raven who had been the one to help Clarke decide to change her major to Fine Art. Raven choose not to acknowledge Clarke’s squeamishness, silently thanking her lucky stars for it instead. She still needed to respond though and eventually said, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. You know how O gets when she’s the last know...”

Trying to hide her excitement, Raven chuckled a little bit, and then turned her attention back to Abby like she was just eager to get this all over with. Truly, she was getting exactly what she wanted, a little alone time with Abby. It was just a bonus that Clarke didn’t have watch something that would probably make feel sick the rest of the day. She saw as Clarke turned towards her mother too, reaching out to give one of Abby’s hand a quick, little squeeze before Raven heard her friend whisper, “Take care of her, please?”

It was undeniable; Raven actually heard something catch in Abby’s throat when she tried to respond. The choked little sound should have made her feel concerned, but it wasn’t that kind of moment. Abby was realizing they were about to be alone together, more so than they had been the night before, and Raven suddenly wondered if this was a good idea. Abby might freak out or yell at her or something. Before she could really regret anything though, she heard Abby shakily say, “O-Of course, Clarke. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. I’ll call you when we’re done…”

Despite herself, Raven blushed hotly at Abby’s words, because hearing Abby say the word ‘mine’ reverberated through Raven, almost until it was all she could hear. She sighed contentedly again at the idea of being Abby’s, in any capacity, and only the huffed laughter coming from Clarke snapped her out it. Even coming around, Raven still only barely heard her when Clarke said, “Sure thing, Mom. I’m gonna get some coffee, too. You want some?” Raven didn’t want any; her thoughts were already too jumbled to add caffeine into the mix, so she shook her head. Abby nodded though, and Clarke smiled brightly at both of them then, before making her way towards the door.

Raven was suddenly very thankful that no one had hooked her up to a heart monitor, because when Abby turned toward her fully and took a step forward, Raven felt like her heart was going to beat right out her chest. She heard the door click closed behind Abby, but Raven couldn’t bring herself to look away from Abby to check to see if it was actually closed. Finally, totally alone, Raven couldn’t hold in the whine building in her chest. All she wanted was for Abby to hold her and tell her everything was going to be ok, but Abby was still so far away.

A moment later though, Raven got exactly what her omega was demanding, Abby’s scent enveloping her as Abby quickly closed the distance and pulled Raven’s hand into her own. Abby’s murmur was low and hesitant as she said, “Raven, are… are you ok?” Raven couldn’t respond immediately, she was too lost in Abby’s tenderness, her nearness, but she did manage a small nod as she squeezed Abby’s fingers. Raven felt her heart swell again when Abby just smiled down her and returned her gentle squeeze. “I— Can I? I mean…” Abby added then, her voice trailing off as she gestured towards Raven’s forehead with her free hand. Raven nodded again, and Abby began to slowly peel away the bloodied gauze Jackson had placed there mere minutes before. Raven winced when the tape pulled at her skin, moving awkwardly against jagged edge of the wound. The wave of concerned alpha pheromones that swiftly washed over Raven soothed the pain somewhat, and she sighed as Abby finished removing the bandage. Raven heard Abby take in a shaky breath before she finally asked, “Raven, how… How did this happen?”

Blushing at the question, Raven remembered trying to get out from under that stupid car to try to get to Abby. She had thought she would know what to say if she saw Abby again, but the words she’d been thinking all morning wouldn’t come out. Instead, she replied softly, “I was working on a car when I-I smelled… something that caught my attention… I guess in my rush to get out from under the car I banged my head on the muffler or something.” She shrugged before realizing her eyes had wandered while she was talking and when she looked back up, Abby’s facial expression looked like she was about to crack. Raven immediately tried to comfort Abby, saying, “It’s ok, Abby. I’ve had much worse, you know? It’s just a little cut.”

Raven nearly panicked when Abby’s face sank even deeper, and Abby barely whimpered, “I’m sorry, Raven.”

Watching Abby’s face, Raven desperately tried to figure out what Abby was apologizing for, but then Abby’s features settled, and Raven could instantly see how stricken with guilt and regret Abby felt. This wasn’t about the cut on her forehead; Abby was sorry about everything else. “Abby, look at me,” Raven pleaded, and Abby’s gaze snapped up to meet hers, as if Abby couldn’t resist the invitation. When their gazes locked, Raven continued, “It’s ok, I understand, now. You don’t have to feel bad, about this or about last night.” She gestured towards the cut and that seemed to bring ‘Doctor Griffin’ back to the surface for a moment. Raven almost whined again when Abby broke their contact long enough to pull the instrument tray over towards them. When Abby turned back to her, Raven felt a surge inside her and she couldn’t stop herself from quickly adding, “I just— I just wish you had said goodbye, you know? Maybe offered me some kind of explanation for why you were leaving in such a rush. Instead, I had to find out what was going on third hand from Octavia.”

Her words were obviously hurtful, even though she hadn’t really meant them to be, and Abby shook her head, looking defeated, as she whispered, “I didn’t come back because I was scared. I was… weak. I thought if I saw you again, I wouldn’t have been able to make myself leave. I’m— I’m sorry for being such a coward.”

Raven took a moment to think about that. She didn’t think Abby was a coward, per se, because she understood why Abby hadn’t said goodbye. Raven realized she felt the same way. Sitting on that gurney, Raven knew that she would be hard-pressed to let Abby out of her sight again. In her rational mind she knew that Clarke would come back eventually, and their little bubble of privacy would be broken. Raven just hoped she didn’t break right along with it. Knowing Abby needed to hear her say it again, she took Abby’s now trembling hand in her own and looked deep into Abby’s eyes as she softly said, “It’s ok, Abby, really. I understand. It’s ok.”

Abby didn’t respond directly, only nodded sadly and then took a few deep breaths, obviously trying to steady herself before she turned back to the instrument tray. Raven watched quietly as Abby pulled on a pair of gloves and then fiddled with long handled swab, wet with local anesthetic. Raven tried to offer Abby a reassuring smile as Abby touched the tip of the applicator to her skin. The lidocaine gel was cold at first, but then Raven couldn’t feel anything at all as the numbing agent began to spread. Raven didn’t really realize how much the cut had hurt until she couldn’t feel it anymore, and when the numbness took over completely, she sighed and relaxed a little, her eyes slipping shut of their own accord. She almost flinched though, when Abby cupped her cheek with her palm, but Abby’s voice soothed her again as she asked, “Does that feel better? Numb?” The warmth of Abby’s hand was blissful, despite the fact that Raven could only feel the lower half. She could only nod in response, unable to trust her voice with Abby cradling her face so softly. She simply sank into the feeling of Abby caring for her so tenderly. Raven sort of felt it when Abby brushed a thumb over her temple. She shuddered a little at the ghost of the touch, but then Abby said, “Ok, then. Let’s get you stitched up.” Raven tried not to tense when she opened her eyes to find Abby hovering over her with a curved needle in one hand and a pair of forceps in the other.

They didn’t speak again until Abby was finished, and even then, all Raven could manage to say was, “Thank you, Abby,” before she was choking back a sob. She was totally overwhelmed by Abby’s tender, gentle attention, taking time to make sure Raven was ready for each step of the sutures, caring for Raven like a lover would, not cold and detached like a doctor. A war seemed to go on right in front of her eyes then, as several conflicting emotions crossed Abby’s face. Still, Raven didn’t even think about protesting when Abby pulled her into her arms. Raven wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, just holding each other while they breathed in each other’s scents. She simply drew all the warmth and strength Abby had to offer, and then offered her own in return.

Eventually, a soft knock on the door snapped them out of their tight embrace. Raven knew it was coming, the end of her moment of peace, but that didn’t make it any easier to watch Abby cross the room and reach for the door. It opened to reveal Clarke and two cups of steaming coffee. Raven tried not to look too disappointed, and it seemed she was at least partially successful because Clarke was all smiles as she looked over Raven’s gauze covered forehead. Raven just sat and let Clarke look at her, but she was sure her fake, cheerful expression fell the second Clarke turned to her mother and said, “I guess, she was a good patient then. Raven can be a pain in the ass sometimes when it comes to doctors.”

Slightly offended and slightly glad for the return to some sort of ‘normalcy,’ Raven barked, “Can you really blame me?” She gestured towards her bad leg and she watched as Clarke grimaced, obviously regretting her comment, but when Clarke opened her mouth to apologize, Raven just shushed her with a hand in the air. Raven turned to Abby then as she continued, “But, honestly, this is the best hospital experience I’ve ever had, so thanks for that Ab— I mean, Dr. Griffin.”

Raven tried not to smile too widely when Abby instantly scoffed and protested, “It’s ok Raven, you can call me Abby.”

Their eyes met for the briefest of moments then, but to Raven it felt like an eternity. She could see all the things Abby wished she could say, longing and desire, a need to comfort and be comforted. Abby’s honey-brown eyes were swirling and wide, almost glistening. Raven took a little comfort in the fact that despite everything, despite Clarke standing right there, Abby still wanted her, wanted to hold her and touch her and comfort her again. The moment was too short, but somehow too long too, and the conflict it caused inside Raven ate away at her, causing her to shift uncomfortably when Clarke just laughed and said, “Yeah, Rae, you don’t have to be so formal.” To make matters worse, Clarke continued to snicker when her teasing tone brought a fresh wave of blushing redness to Raven’s cheeks.

Raven found herself staring at her feet a moment later, but then Abby said, “Well, I guess my work here is done. Clarke, call me later and let me know how she’s getting on, ok?” Raven’s heart tore in two at the thought of Abby leaving, but with Clarke standing between them, Raven knew she had no way to express it. Abby’s casual tone and words stung a bit, but Raven pushed those feelings aside easily enough when she thought about Abby’s caring hand on her cheek minutes before. Clarke responded, but Raven couldn’t hear it, too caught up in her own thoughts. She dwelled on Abby’s words instead, thinking, ‘…Call me later…’ Raven immediately started kicking herself for not thinking of it earlier. She should have asked Abby for her number, because then she could call Abby directly to let her know how she was doing. And, if Raven were to be able to convince Abby to see her again in the process, then all the better. She knew it was too late to ask Abby for her number then though, with Clarke still standing there. It would be weird and awkward and far too personal, but then another sudden thought hit her. Clarke had Abby’s number, which meant if Raven was slick about it, she could have it too. Clarke wouldn’t need to know about any of it, at least not until there was something to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come tomorrow!!!


	10. The Telephone Game

After Clarke left her apartment, Lexa barely managed to slip on some comfy clothes and start the coffee pot before her phone was already ringing. She rushed to her bedroom, secretly hoping it was Clarke, but she knew Clarke couldn’t have been gone more than ten minutes. It would be ridiculous for Clarke to be calling her already, but she hurried to her nightstand anyway. For the moment, that’s where it was tethered, as she’d been far too distracted to even think about charging it the night before. Trying not to be disappointed when she saw it was Anya, Lexa scooped it up, cheerfully saying, “Hey!”

“Oh! Hey, is it? You just disappear from the club last night and all you can say is ‘Hey?” Anya asked mockingly, annoyance obvious in her tone.

Lexa huffed into the phone, thinking Anya probably wasn’t really mad, but she crooned nonetheless, “I’m sorry, An. I-”

Anya didn’t give her a chance to finish, abruptly interrupting her, saying, “Don’t even say it. I get it. Hot, blonde, omega… I-”

Lexa cut her cousin off right back though, instantly jumping in to defend what had happened between herself and Clarke the previous night, “It’s not like that, Anya, truly. There’s something about Clarke. She’s… she’s special.”

Before Lexa couldn’t even think about getting lost in thoughts of Clarke, Anya replied harshly, “Well then, I hate to burst your bubble, because she’s special in more ways than you think. Abby’s-”

“Oh! Right!” Lexa exclaimed, interrupting her cousin again. She continued quickly, despite a huffed growl from Anya, “What happened with Abby last night? When I saw her at the taxi stand, she seemed totally freaked out.”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you…” Anya explained animatedly, and Lexa felt her heart quicken in anticipation, before Anya bluntly said, “Abby is Clarke’s mom.”

Lexa uttered a choked, “Wha-” before Anya’s words really had a chance to sink in, but when they finally did, Lexa gasped in shock. Suddenly, her interaction with Abby the night before made so much more sense; the reason Abby’s face had transformed from simple worry to a twisted mask of shock and anxiety suddenly became clear. She couldn’t believe that she had just stood there, in front of Abby, with Abby’s omega daughter curled up against her body, Clarke lightly brushing her lips and nose over Lexa’s pulsing scent gland. “Oh, god!” Lexa exclaimed when she finally realized that Clarke had left for brunch with her mother, absolutely reeking of her. “Clarke just left here wearing my clothes, my fucking underwear, Anya! She’s meeting Abby for lunch! Shit, shit, SHIT!” Lexa cried, hopping around her room in violent fits and starts, pulling real clothes out of her chest of drawers and her closet, attempting to pull them on right over top of her loose-fitting tank top and sleep shorts.

She barely heard Anya over the commotion she was causing, but eventually Anya’s voice broke through, and Lexa heard her say, “Lexa… Just. Breathe.” She was too busy panting into the phone, heart racing and only getting faster, as she continued to hastily get dressed, thinking maybe she could still catch up to Clarke. It took three more times of Anya saying her name, before Lexa finally realized what was happening. She was panicking, and she knew she needed to get control over herself right then, before she ended up doing something rash that she might regret later. Her heart was still pounding in her ears, but as she concentrated on it, the rate did begin to slow, and she sighed as she finally heard Anya say, “That’s it. Just take a second to think… Abby likes you, right?”

Taking in another long breath, Lexa actually thought about what Abby thought of her. She knew that Abby liked her as a friend, maybe even respected her too, but did Abby like and respect her enough to be ok with Lexa dating her daughter? It was a big question, one that she knew she couldn’t answer by herself. Eventually, Lexa did get her panic mostly under control and even though she was still trying to catch her breath, she said, “Yes, she does, and I like Abby, too. We’re friends, but that… that’s exactly what makes this so bad. I feel like I’ve betrayed her trust or something.”

Instantly thankful for Anya’s solid nature, Lexa sighed when her cousin declared confidently, “But your relationship with Abby is also why it could be ok… If she had any objection to Clarke being with you, don’t you think Abby would have said something last night, embarrassed or not? She knows you, you’re not just some one-night stand for Clarke. You’re not the ‘get some and get gone’ type. You’re more than that, you’re special too, remember?”

Anya’s logic was sound, Lexa couldn’t deny that, but at the moment, it didn’t make her feel all that much better. Abby was her friend, and even though it would be awkward, she needed to call Abby, needed to see for herself what Abby had to say about the possibility of her dating Clarke. She needed Abby to know that she was considering all angles of their relationship and what it would mean for all three of them. Mostly the talk would be out of courtesy to Abby, because she and Clarke were both adults, but whatever happened between Clarke and herself would surely affect Clarke’s relationship with her mom, and Lexa’s relationship with Abby as well. She wasn’t sure it was a risk she was willing to take, but when she thought about how easily she and Clarke had fallen in together, she wasn’t sure she could live with herself if she didn’t at least try. The instant familiarity was part of it; being able to tell Clarke things that she’d never told anyone else and being able to offer Clarke the same opportunity. There was the way Clarke’s scent called to her too, and the way their bodies had seemed to fit together, like they were made for each other. The way Clarke looked at her though, was the hardest thing to resist, like Lexa was the only thing holding Clarke to the Earth. At the thought, Lexa felt her confidence return in spades. “Thank you, Anya. You’re absolutely right,” Lexa stated evenly then. She thought for another second, and with her logical brain functioning again, she quickly added, “And as far as Clarke’s concerned, she knew she was leaving here covered in my scent… I guess she’s not shy about her mom knowing about her sex life.”

“There’s my girl,” Anya praised, obviously pleased as she added, “You make a great point… I think maybe you should call Abby though... Just get things out in the open?”

Despite that conversation still looming, Lexa felt even more confident with Anya’s seal of approve and easily replied, “Yeah, of course, but I don’t think I have her number. Can you text it to me?”

“You got it, kid. I guess I don’t have to tell you that you’re gonna have to tell Clarke about all this, too, right?” Anya said, and Lexa noticed Anya’s tone was full of her usual snark once again.

Even with that return to normalcy, Lexa still sighed heavily at the prospect of having to explain the whole situation to Clarke. Lexa knew she would need to talk to Abby first, because she vividly remembered that pained look on Abby’s face. Abby hadn’t even wanted to be acknowledged, all because Clarke was there. There had to be a reason, and Lexa didn’t want to cross any lines with Abby without realizing it. Only after getting things worked out with Abby, could she talk to Clarke about any of it. She knew it was necessary, but she was still anxious. She didn’t want things with Clarke to end like that, not when they’d just barely begun. Lexa knew though, that if Clarke couldn’t handle her being friends with Abby, or if their relationship was going to drive a wedge between Clarke and Abby, she would have to accept things for the way they were. “I still want to talk to Abby first just to find out what she wants Clarke to know and not know. I wouldn’t want to actually betray her, even if inadvertently, but then, yeah, I’ll talk to Clarke, too,” Lexa finally replied, resolute, resolved to her fate.

“Sounds like a plan,” Anya excitedly replied. Lexa thought the conversation was going to be over there, but then Anya quickly added, “Well, if we’re done talking about you and your issues, can we talk about me now?”

Lexa thought if Anya was going to be snarky, she needed give as good as she was getting, so she groaned into the phone, melodramatically, as she complained, “Ugh! Why would we want to talk about you? It’s not like your life is as exciting as mine anyway.”

“I’ll have you know that if it weren’t for Abby and her own tragic circumstances, I would not have gone home alone last night… Thank you very much,” Anya grumbled, and Lexa almost laughed when her cousin actually huffily growled into the phone to emphasize her point. Anya was quiet for a moment and Lexa thought she was going to elaborate but instead Anya just added, “But that’s not my story to tell.”

Lexa easily noticed how Anya’s tone had turned cryptic, and couldn’t help but ask, “Oh really?”

She waited, listening to Anya breath for another moment before Anya finally said, “All in good time, my friend, all in good time.”

Knowing that Anya was probably enjoying having power over her, Lexa felt a little perturbed that Anya would bring up something obviously juicy about their friend, only to turn vague and cryptic about it. In her irritation, she couldn’t help but push Anya’s buttons just a little, huffing as she said, “Well, that’s less than helpful, but ok. I guess I’ll just have to wait then…”

Hoping that Anya would at least give her a hint, Lexa waited, trying to keep herself calm. Unfortunately, Anya didn’t take the bait, glossing right over the dig as she said, “Good. While you wait, we can talk about my date with Octavia Tuesday night. Well, at least I think it’s a date… She called it a date. Anyway, I’m actually a little nervous about it.”

Lexa was a little too stunned to respond at first. She couldn’t remember a single time Anya had ever admitted to being nervous or afraid about anything. Trying not to make a big deal about it though, Lexa responded as casually as she could, “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

Anya’s heavy sigh was even more startling, but Lexa didn’t let in distract her as Anya answered, “I’m not sure whether to sleep with her on the first date or not.” She couldn’t help it then, as she gasped at Anya’s blunt declaration. Lexa knew Anya was an omega’s alpha, the kind of person that didn’t really think about things like the repercussions of sleeping with someone on a first date. For all Lexa knew, Anya never even put in the effort of actually going on a date, usually just picking someone up at the club or at a bar. She didn’t have too long to think about that however, because Anya quickly clarified, “I mean, she’s really young, and while normally that wouldn’t bother me, I’m not even sure she’s been with an alpha before, much less a female one… I’m just not sure what she’s expecting, you know?”

Lexa nodded even though Anya couldn’t see her, thinking that Anya’s hesitation made perfect sense, at least to her. Despite Anya’s propensity towards logical, rational thought, she knew that interpersonal issues couldn’t always be solved that way. Still, she had to think of some way to get that point across to Anya. She bought herself a little time too, as she said, “Yeah, I see what you’re saying. I mean, Clarke told me she’d never been with an alpha before last night, but she seemed to know the deal. I guess that makes more sense now that I know her mom’s a doctor.” Lexa paused, worrying her lower lip with her teeth, trying to determine how much to tell Anya about that. She quickly decided that she wasn’t going to mention her shifting for Clarke, her cousin didn’t need to know everything about her sex life. Instead, she focused on Anya’s issues again and finally added, “You know… you could try talking to Octavia about it. Just get things out in the open?” Anya chuckled lightly on the other end of the line, probably smiling at her choice of words. Lexa couldn’t help but play into that laughter too, hoping to alleviate some tension as she said, “But wait, she’s only twenty-one, right? Hell, you start talking about anatomy and she’s likely to giggle and blush through the whole conversation.”

Mission accomplished, Lexa smiled when Anya just chuckled harder and said, “Yeah, you’re probably right about that. Better to be prepared than not I guess… Probably a good idea to pick up some new workout clothes, just in case, you know?”

“Wait… why do you need new workout gear for your date? Don’t tell me you’re taking this girl to the gym on your first date,” Lexa said exasperated, because while she knew Anya wasn’t used to ‘dating,’ she hoped her cousin wasn’t trying to delude herself into thinking that working out with someone constituted a date.

Anya interrupted that train of thought though, as she frankly defended herself, “Actually, she asked me to come to her gym and spar with her. And when I agreed, she called it a date… Let’s just say, she wasn’t exactly subtle with her flirting, especially when we said goodnight last night. I think it’s safe to say she’s into me.”

Even more confused by that information, Lexa felt her eyes go wide and she stuttered as she asked for clarification, “So… m-maybe I’ve been out of the dating scene for too long… but, you’re going to fight her… What?”

Grumbling when Anya just laughed at her, Lexa had almost had enough of Anya’s teasing for the day, but she held the line until Anya ultimately explained, “I guess I am… She asked me to practice with her, to help her prep for her first pro MMA fight. Actually, she’s fighting Ontari Ecke, which is funny because Ontari trains at my gym. Anyway, yes, I am going to spar with her on our first date. I mean, I watched her take on three drunk alphas at the taxi stand last night… And, I gotta say, it was really hot.”

That really caused Lexa to worry. There was no way big, tough, military-trained Anya would just stand-by and watch an omega she was interested in fight off three attackers at once. “You just watched her fight three alphas? I find that hard to believe,” Lexa replied then, knowing for the chuckle that followed that Anya had a hard timing believing it herself.

“I know… I know, but it’s true. Trust me, I was more than ready to step in and protect her, she just said, ‘Don’t worry, I got this.’ I tried to insist but she made it very clear she didn’t need me to protect her. She didn’t even throw a punch, and two of them left bleeding… probably with broken bones. It was really impressive, not to mention a major turn on. She’s just got this fire, in her eyes, in the way she moves. I’m definitely looking forward to the challenge of sparring with her. I hate to admit it, but I’m pretty sure she’s better than me.”

Stunned into silence again, Lexa just gaped at the phone. Cool, confident, alpha Anya just admitted she wasn’t the strongest, most-alpha alpha there ever was, that someone, an omega at that, was better than her. And, it wasn’t that Lexa thought Anya was sexist or anything, but it was just such a foreign concept that Lexa wasn’t sure how to respond. She definitely didn’t say what she wanted to say; that it sounded like Anya was whipped, but that was mostly because she knew Anya would need to come to that conclusion on her own, so Lexa simply said, “This Octavia must be something indeed, for you to admit that, anyway. Maybe we should get tickets for her fight?”

She was pleased when Anya immediately said, “That sounds like a great idea. I’ll look into it and get back to you.” Lexa had feeling the conversation was nearing its end again, so she wasn’t terribly surprised when Anya added, “Well, I guess I should probably call Abby before I send you her number just to check that that’s ok. I wouldn’t want to cross any lines with her either… Keep an eye out for a text from me later.”

“Ok, Anya. I’ll keep my phone close. Talk to you later?” Lexa replied, easily understanding Anya’s need to check with Abby first before giving out her personal information. She would want Anya to give her the same courtesy.

“Sure thing… later,” Anya responded, just before Lexa hung up.

 

~~~

 

Walking back to her townhouse from the hospital, Abby felt like she was in a daze. Seeing Raven definitely hadn’t been good for her psyche, but she had to admit that holding Raven in her arms again had been worth it. She could still feel the warmth of Raven against her skin, making her limbs tingle and her heart flutter. When the tingling didn’t stop though, Abby suddenly realized her phone was ringing, vibrating against her leg. She quickly fished it out of her pocket, but when she saw it was Anya calling, she almost didn’t answer it. She knew Anya would call again if it was important, but she figured it was probably already important, considering the fact that Anya never called. Lost in these thoughts, Abby nearly missed the call anyway, barely managing to answer it before it went to voicemail. She offered a tentative, “Hello,” when the line finally connected.

“Hey, Abby… You busy?” Anya asked almost cheerfully, and Abby immediately knew something was up. She’d never heard Anya sound that chipper before. She knew better than to try to get anything out of Anya though, and simply replied, “Not so much, just out for a walk… Why? What’s up?” She hoped she sounded nonchalant, thinking she probably already knew why Anya was calling, but she didn’t want to sound like she was disinterested in any way.

When Anya sighed, Abby had to fight the urge to do so as well, but then after a moment of uneasy silence, Anya said cautiously, “Well, I just got off the phone with Lexa. Apparently, she had company last night… specifically, an omega named Clarke. Does that ring any bells?” Abby grumbled an affirmative, eager for Anya to get to the point. Thankfully, Anya continued in short order, saying, “Well, Lexa, uh, she wants your number, so you two can talk about whatever she and Clarke have going on and how that might affect the three of you.” Anya paused, and Abby thought she was trying to give her some time to process things. Abby felt her stomach drop though, when Anya quickly added, “She’s probably going to want to know about your evening last night, too, if you catch my meaning?”

Already feeling a bit anxious about the situation with Lexa and Clarke, Abby thought about Anya’s second statement and her anxiety instantly doubled. Of course, Lexa would want to know about Raven, but Abby knew that knowledge would only put Lexa in a more awkward position with Clarke. She didn’t hate the idea of Clarke being with Lexa. She genuinely liked Lexa and figured that her daughter could do a lot worse, so she didn’t want to make Lexa and Clarke’s budding relationship any more complicated than she already was by being Lexa’s friend. She quickly decided that she could deal in half-truths a while longer if she needed to, and easily replied, “I’ll just tell her what I told Clarke this morning. That I met someone last night, but that it’s too complicated and that’s that.” Abby knew it wouldn’t be that simple, that eventually Clarke or Lexa would find out that that someone was Raven, but that was a disaster for another day. Abby knew that, for whatever reason, secrets have a habit of coming out and usually at the most inopportune time.

Anya must have been thinking the same thing because she immediately asked, “Are you sure that’s the best idea?”

Resolved, Abby answered quickly and reasonably, “For now, yes. Clarke and Lexa both deserve a fair shot at what could be between them. I’m not looking to rock that boat any more than I have to. Eventually, probably everyone will know, but this just isn’t a fight I’m willing have with Clarke right now. Not to mention, I have no idea whether Raven even wants Clarke to know. It could ruin her friendship with Clarke, too. I can see how much they care for each other. I actually just left them at the hospital.”

Obviously shocked and confused, Abby grimaced as she heard Anya’s strangled gasp, “Wha-huh?”

Understanding Anya’s strained response, Abby hurried to explain, “They’re both fine. Raven was working on a car at her repair shop when she banged her head. She had a small, but deep laceration on her forehead, that I stitched up.” Abby paused long enough to glance at her watch before she thoughtfully added, “Actually, they’re probably already on their way home.”

Abby could hear the relief clear in Anya’s voice as she replied, “Well, that’s good, I guess.” There was a little moment of silence then, and Abby thought maybe that was the end of the conversation, but then Anya asked quietly, “Uh, what was it like being in the same room with both of them?”

The question intrigued her as much as it scared her, but Abby considered it, nonetheless. The feelings of that first moment, when their eyes met across the exam room, swirled inside Abby again. She remembered feeling so conflicted; partly relieved that Raven seemed mostly ok, but there had been a desperate, disparaged part of her that had wanted take Raven in her arms and never let go. She had forced herself to seem detached, but caring, like Raven was just her daughter’s friend. Inside, she had felt like she was literally being torn in two by her desire to comfort Raven. Seeing Raven hurt and alone and scared had felt like a unique sort of agony to Abby, twisting her up to the point she wasn’t sure she hadn’t said or done something to give them away. Anya sighed slightly, and Abby snapped out of the memories, eventually just saying, “It was… cold. I was cold, detached. I was Clarke’s mom, Dr. Griffin… but then Clarke left us alone, so I could stitch Raven up. I—I couldn’t stop myself. I held her and comforted her, like— like a mate would. The way she makes me feel, I just needed her pain to stop. I don’t know if I-” Abby cut herself off before she said too much, because sometimes saying things aloud makes them far too real. She was going to say, ‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep myself away from her, now that I know what it feels like to hold her like that,’ but she cringed at the sheer idea of saying that type of thing out loud.

It seemed Anya could read between the lines there though, as she said, “You got it bad, Abby… And, you’re gonna have to face that at some point.” Anya paused again, and Abby thought she was about to get an ear-full, but Anya steered the conversation towards its end instead, eventually saying, “In the meantime, I’m gonna send Lexa your number so you guys can talk, that ok?”

Sighing, Abby hung her head, mostly because she knew Anya was right, but all she could manage to say in response was, “Yeah.”

Glad that Anya choose not to comment on how defeated she sounded, Abby bolstered at least a small smile when Anya said, “Ok then, be expecting a call from her soon then.” They were both quiet for just another second, before Anya finally just mumbled, “Well, I guess I’ll, uh, I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”

Abby muttered “Yeah,” again, sighing before she added, “See you tomorrow.”

 

~~~

 

After over hour of waiting, Lexa was really starting to get impatient. Anya still hadn’t texted her Abby’s number. She had filled the time as best she could though. She’d made and eaten breakfast, a bowl of real oatmeal with brown sugar and raisins. Honestly, it was less breakfast, and more of an after-lunch snack, by the time it was actually in her stomach. With the ‘breakfast’ dishes in the dishwasher, she had distracted herself by calling Titus. He was beyond thrilled when she confirmed she would accept his offer and come back to Polaris four nights a week, Thursday through Sunday. She hoped that starting back on a Thursday would help her ease herself back into the scene. Thursday generally meant college kids looking to start the weekend early, and they’d probably be too drunk to care if she was a little rusty. Without anything else to do, she had started to clean her already clean kitchen when her phone finally buzzed on the counter. She dashed over to it and after a moment or two of fumbling through the phone she had Abby’s number ready to dial. She took a deep breath as she finally clicked ‘Call.’ After the third ring, Lexa began to worry she would have to leave a message, but just as the fourth ring began the phone clicked, cutting off the tone.

For just a moment neither one said anything, and Lexa felt like the silence was almost crushing, oppressive even, but then finally, Abby coughed out a shaky, “Hello?”

Abby’s tentative tone broke through a little of Lexa’s own trepidation. She realized Abby was probably just as nervous as she was about this conversation, so she tried to sound casual as she responded, “Hey Abby. How are you?”

Lexa’s polite, but casual tone seemed to have some effect on Abby because Lexa noticed how Abby’s voice was at least slightly more confident when she replied, “I’m ok, Lexa. How are you?”

Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle a little at Abby’s attempt to sound casual too. She thought, ‘Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.’ She began politely, but her tone turned more personal as she responded, “I feel good actually, for the first time in a long time… and I think that might have something to do with Clarke.”

Holding her own breath, Lexa just listened as Abby took in a few long shuddering breaths before Abby finally collected herself enough to ask, “Is that… is that so?”

Feeling at least a small wave of relief, Lexa smiled at Abby’s coy response, realizing that Abby wasn’t just open to talking to her but was feeling confident enough to joke a little bit too. She tried to keep her own voice even and sincere though, as she said, “Yeah… I haven’t felt this way about someone… in a very long time. I don’t… I—” Lexa cut herself off to gather in a long calming breath before she resolutely continued, “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like this about someone else, Abby.” Lexa let those words sink in for a moment, knowing Abby would know just how profound that statement really was, before she added, “I’m interested in pursuing something long term with Clarke, and I’d like to know how you feel about that.”

Lexa wasn’t expecting Abby to laugh at that, but she figured it was probably more of a nervous reaction than anything else, that is, until Abby easily replied, “To be honest, Lexa, I think my daughter could do a lot worse than you… If I understand anything about life, it’s that it’s too short to let other people’s opinions matter too much.” Lexa almost laughed too, Abby’s easy acceptance throwing her off guard. A long moment of silence developed then, but Lexa thought Abby was just organizing her thought. Surely, there was more Abby was going to say on that. As the moment stretched on though, Lexa suspected Abby was having some sort of internal debate and decided to wait until Abby was ready to explain, no matter how uncomfortable the silence between them became. Eventually, Abby sighed into the phone and Lexa was really taken off guard when Abby finally said, “Lexa, what I’m trying to say is that, I think you’re a beautiful, successful woman and you have a bright future ahead of you. I know you love with your whole self and if someday you fall in love my daughter, well, I couldn’t ask for better for her than that.”

So touched by Abby’s tender words, Lexa thought for a moment that she’d actually forgotten how to breathe. Her head was swimming by the time she managed to find her breath, but she pushed on, choking out, “Th-hank you, Abby… You have n-no idea what that means to me.”

Abby’s soft chuckle sounded through the phone, and Lexa felt herself finally relax as Abby easily replied, “Lexa, I’ve told you all this before… You’re an extraordinary young woman. I’ve known that from the start, but the fact that you are handling this whole situation with respect and decency simply solidifies that opinion.”

A little speechless again, Lexa paused before she responded, contemplating Abby’s compliments, absorbing them, letting them bolster her confidence. Ultimately feeling like she couldn’t go wrong, she smiled as she finally said, “You’re not so bad at this yourself, Abby. Thank you for the compliments.” She paused again, not sure whether she should bring up telling Clarke about their friendship or not, but quickly decided that she had been open with Abby so far and that had gone well. Maybe the trend would continue, so she just said, “I know this will be weird, but if I’m going to pursue things with Clarke, I need to tell her that we know each other. I’m sure she’s gonna have questions too, and I need to be able to answer those questions honestly. Is that… is that alright with you?”

Abby sighed quietly, and Lexa knew what she was thinking, that while they both knew Clarke needed to know, Abby was nervous about how her daughter would respond to their friendship. Lexa was worried about how Clarke would feel about dating her mom’s friend too, but Lexa wasn’t going to let that stop her from trying. She just hoped Abby thought that way as well. She was almost so wrapped up in those worries that she missed Abby’s next words, but she managed to focus just as her friend mumbled, “Yes… tell her whatever you need to about our friendship. You can tell her I was with you at the club last night if you need to too, just maybe...” Abby’s voice trailed off for a second and Lexa cringed a little when she remembered their awkward interaction at the taxi stand, but just as Lexa opened her mouth to apologize, Abby hurriedly added, “Well, maybe, uh— just leave out the part there at the end… You know, the taxi-stand and the, uh, nuzzling and whatnot.”

Grimacing despite the hot blush that crept over her face, Lexa nearly groaned at how uncomfortable Abby sounded. In truth, Abby sounded so flustered and creeped out that Lexa felt like she might die off embarrassment right along with her friend, but she still managed to stutter out, “Uh, yeah, I uh, I think that’s probably for the best. Uh, sorry ‘bout that by the way. I’m, I’m pretty mortified too, just so you know.”

Some of Lexa’s anxiety about the whole situation dissolved though, when Abby just chuckled and added haltingly, “Yeah, uh, you and me both. I— I think maybe we just forget that ever happened, huh?”

“Agreed,” Lexa said assuredly. Determined to continue pushing though the tension remaining between them, Lexa continued, “Anyway, I’m sorry I just ditched you last night. When I spoke to Anya earlier, she insinuated that you didn’t have a very good time and that’s partly my fault. So, I’m sorry.”

Abby gasped into the phone then, and Lexa’s anxiety returned as Abby tersely replied, “It’s not your fault, not at all. I, uh, I actually was having a good time at one point, but then things got— got complicated and I just had to get out of there.”

Lexa waited, thinking maybe Abby might elaborate, but when she didn’t, Lexa knew better than to push. Abby was usually an open book, or at least she was in their weekly meetings. If Abby didn’t want to share then, there was probably a good reason, so Lexa simply replied, “Ok then, but still I’m sorry I wasn’t around for longer. Makes me feel like a bad friend.” Abby’s quiet appreciation was enough to tell Lexa she was exactly right in that assumption, so she decided to try to nudge their conversation towards its end, hopefully letting them both off the hook. As nonchalantly as she could manage, Lexa said, “Well, anyway… I guess I should call Clarke and see if she wants to come over, so we can talk. I feel like our conversation might go better face to face, don’t you?”

“Yes, I think that’s probably wise. Tell her… Tell her to call me later if she wants,” Abby replied, and Lexa could hear the trepidation back in Abby’s voice.

Lexa quickly decided not to comment on it either, sure that Abby wouldn’t appreciate it if she did, so instead she simply replied, “Will do, Abby. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you around?”

There was only a brief pause before Abby replied, “Sounds good, Lexa. See ya…” The line went dead after that, but with Abby’s blessing as it were, Lexa didn’t let herself linger too long on whatever Abby was hiding. She was too excited, and nervous, to really think about anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sure you noticed that this chapter was shorter than the others have been, but seeming as I'm starting to proof chapter 11 right now, and hope to have it posted toot-suite, maybe you'll forgive me for the length of this one...
> 
> I would like to say... Thanks for all those kudos and comments... even if I have have gotten a little behind on reviewing and responding to those comments... Just because your comment isn't up, doesn't mean that I don't appreciate everything you've said. Sometimes, I guess I just get overwhelmed by all the compliments... Anyway, I promise to catch up as soon as possible...


	11. The Good Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another short-ish Chapter today; one that I should have had up yesterday, but sadly, I've got a cold. Looking at my computer screen for more than a half hour at a time makes my head feel like it's swollen.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy... and hopefully, I'm feeling better tomorrow and can get another chapter up before work tomorrow night...

It wasn’t necessarily a long trip home from the hospital, but by the time they got back to their shared apartment, Raven wasn’t even trying to carry on without Clarke’s help anymore. She’d made it as far as the building’s lobby, but then she realized the elevator was out of order and she’d have to climb the stairs. Already tired and sore, and generally just depressed, she accepted Clarke’s arm around her waist as they ambled their way up. It was only two flights, but that didn’t mean it was any less humiliating. It just made her feel like such an invalid. The fact that she was still harboring major _something_ for Clarke’s mom only made it that much worse. When they finally got to the door, Raven was sure she looked just as grumpy as Octavia did, that ‘shame on you’ grimace firmly in place. She was pretty sure their distress was for different reasons, but then again, she couldn’t really be sure Octavia wouldn’t be mad when she realized Raven’s plan. She was glad that Octavia at least let them get inside before she barked, “Rae, what the hell did you do?”

Trying not to sound as embarrassed as she actually felt, Raven quietly said, “I, uh, I hit my head on the muffler of a car...”

From the scowl on Octavia’s face, Raven thought Octavia was going to scold her about hurting herself again, but she was surprised when Octavia simply huffed and moved to take Clarke’s place at her side. Raven actually sighed when Octavia wrapped her in a tight hug, feeling relaxed for the first time since the hospital. She wasn’t expecting Octavia to whisper, “You ok?” against her ear, but she nodded anyway. She was as ‘ok’ as she was going to get until she talked to Abby. She was grateful to be home too though, hospitals always made her a little cagey. Just when she was about to pull away, Octavia just pulled her in a little closer and whispered again, “How’d it go with Abby?” Raven couldn’t help it; she flinched. Clarke was too close for them to be talking about it, but when she glanced around, she realized Clarke had already moved off into the living room, eyes glued to her phone.

When the worry of being overheard faded though, a whole new one replaced it. The whole way home she’d been trying not to think about Abby and the way they’d had to leave things. She didn’t really feel like talking about it yet, and thankfully, Raven didn’t push either. Raven followed along as Octavia drug her towards the living room, where Clarke had already settled in on one end of the couch. Raven rolled her eyes at the sight of Clarke still staring so intently at her phone. She’d been that way since about ten minutes after they left the hospital, when Lexa texted to say that ‘they needed to talk.’

The worst part of that awkwardness was that Raven was pretty sure she knew exactly what Lexa wanted to talk about; her friendship with Abby. She was also pretty sure that if she let that cat out of the bag, it wouldn’t be more than ten minutes before Clarke figured out where she fit in that situation. Not to mention, it really wasn’t her place to divulge Abby’s business, or Lexa’s for that matter. She was just a third-party observer, a complicated one, but still, not getting herself involved was for the best. She couldn’t help but laugh though, when Octavia hip checked Clarke’s shoulder on their way by, jarring her towards the center of the couch. She played along too, sliding herself in the middle seat, bumping Clarke back the other way. Clarke grumbled haughtily, but didn’t even look up as she barked, “Jeez, O, Raven’s got an excuse for being clumsy, but I’d think you’d be a little more graceful than that.”

Settling herself in, Raven hiked her feet up onto the coffee table, and tried to decide whether to be offended or not. She knew Clarke didn’t really mean anything by the causal reference to her disability, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still feel weird sometimes. Sure, it was a part of her, but it wasn’t the only part… Octavia’s voice brought her back into the moment, when Octavia slyly replied, “How would you know if I was graceful or not, Clarke? You’ve been glued to your phone since the moment you got here.”

Clarke huffed again, still not looking up, but Raven just laughed, pouring a little fuel on that fire as she added, “She’s been like this since we left the hospital, O… Apparently, Lexa wants her to come over, so they can talk.” Raven nudged Clarke’s ribs with her elbow then, and only when her friend actually looked at her, did she say, “You’ve been reading and re-reading that same message for over an hour... Don’t you think maybe you should respond?” She could see an idea taking shape but then confusion and anticipation washed over Clarke’s face, a fiery blush creeping across her cheeks as she looked back down at her phone.

Octavia cleared her throat then, and Raven looked up just in time to catch Octavia nod meaningfully at the small space in between Clarke and herself. Raven knew what she wanted and scooched over so Octavia could squeeze in between them. “Or… you could keep stalling and miss out on something _really_ good?” Octavia said softly, and Raven leaned up to look over at Clarke. It seemed that her blush had slid down onto the neck and upper chest, but Raven wasn’t sure whether it was from Clarke’s impending heat or from her embarrassment. Octavia seemed to notice it too though and simply wrapped an arm around Clarke’s shoulders and continued even more softly than before, “Hey, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, Clarke. We all know your heat is close. Hell, I can practically smell it on you.”

Raven watched as Clarke blushed even harder, clearly embarrassed even more by Octavia’s words, but then Clarke visibly shivered and shot up off the couch, blurting out, “I—I have to pee!”

Octavia laughed as Clarke bolted from the room, but Raven was too fixated on Clarke’s phone, sitting abandoned on the coffee table, to notice much beyond that. She heard Octavia turn back towards her and say, “So, spill… What. happened. with. Abby?” but she knew that she might not get another chance. Snapping her eyes towards the hall way, Raven double checked to make sure Clarke was gone before scooping up the device. Octavia cleared her throat, obviously asking, ‘What the hell are you doing?’ but Raven couldn’t spare a single moment. She could feel Octavia watching her then, probably irritated at being ignored, but Raven didn’t hesitate, rapidly unlocking Clarke’s phone with one hand, fishing her own out of her pocket with the other. Octavia started to say something as Raven copied Abby’s number out of Clarke’s phone, but all Raven had to say was a rough, “Shut it,” and Octavia quieted immediately.

Deed done, Raven slid Clarke’s phone back onto the coffee table. She leaned back only to spring forward again and twist the phone a little bit, so it was exactly like it was before Clarke left it. At least she hoped it was exact. Octavia cleared her throat again, and Raven knew she couldn’t keep avoid Octavia’s expectant stare. When she finally turned to Octavia, she could see a thousand question hiding just behind Octavia’s eyes, but she didn’t regret taking Abby’s number, she couldn’t. She and Abby needed to settle things one way or the other. She knew that she couldn’t just leave things the way they were; the not-knowing would likely haunt her for the rest of her life. She stared into Octavia’s eyes then, pleading, hoping, Octavia would understand as she whispered, “Abby and I… we didn’t get much of a chance to talk, but I can tell she has feelings for me and I— I can’t not try, O. She’s… It’s like we’re operating on the same frequency or something. Every time she touches me, there’s this humming energy pulling me closer, like all my body wants, is to be in her arms.”

Raven couldn’t help but sigh at the thought, remembering how Abby had cupped her face in those capable hands and lessened her pain with just her presence, even if only for a brief moment. She knew she was lying to herself though, if she thought that she could maintain any sort of relationship with Abby that wasn’t an intimate one. There was just too much chemistry there, but even if they were going to be all or nothing, she still needed to hear Abby say that was how it had to be. Lost in thought, Raven barely even noticed when she started rambling aloud, however quietly, “I mean, when I’m around her, the urge to just be hers, it’s so strong. And, what happens when I go into heat? Now that I know what she feels like, holding me, protecting me, comforting me… how am I supposed to go back from that, huh? And what’s worse? I don’t want to go back. I-I’m just so screwed. I mean, she’s Clarke’s mom… and being with her could ruin so many things, but part of me doesn’t even care. Part of me just wants to see where things go, and screw the consequences, you know?” Her throat suddenly felt too dry, and her voice dried up right along with it. She was sure she was going crazy, because she didn’t want to feel this way, but she knew there was really no stopping it either. She needed to talk to Abby. She needed to finally just open up to someone and see what happened. She didn’t think she could live with herself if she didn’t at least try.

So lost, so detached, Raven didn’t even feel it when Octavia grasped her hand about half way through her rant, but then Octavia squeezed her hand and Raven snapped out of it. She looked up just in time to meet Octavia’s eyes, as Octavia softly replied, “I know exactly what you mean, Rae. Not that we’re talking about me, but I feel kinda the same way about Anya.” Raven could easily hear the way Octavia’s voice lilted into a kind of dreamy whisper as she said Anya’s name. She smiled knowingly, because Octavia was obviously just as enamored and confused about Anya as she was about Abby. When Octavia’s soft smile turned a little off, Raven squeezed her hand again and started to ask Octavia what that was about, but Octavia just shook her head and quickly whispered, “Don’t worry about it… Just tell me what Abby said about why she left last night? Did she apologize?”

Raven thought for just the briefest second about pushing Octavia, because she knew that her friend could bottle things up with the best of them, but when she saw the borderline excitement in her eyes, Raven couldn’t resist. She swallowed thickly, the lump in her throat only receding enough for her to relay the obvious bits; that Abby had been a coward, scared that she wouldn’t be able to leave if she saw Raven again. Octavia’s understanding smile was almost too much for Raven then, and she barely managed to keep herself together through it all. Throat still thick and voice a little past husky, she finally said, “I mean, I told her I understood, and that it was ok, but I-I feel like I owe it to myself to find out if we could be a ‘we,’ you know, a couple.”

It was quiet for just a moment, and Raven was sure she could hear water running in the sink in the bathroom. It seemed Octavia heard it too, because she quickly muttered, “You have to tell Clarke… This isn’t fair to her.”

Raven sighed, because she knew Octavia was right, but she needed time too, and replied quietly, “I know, O. I just need some time to figure things out with Abby… see if there’s even anything worth telling Clarke. That’s why I snagged Abby’s number from her phone. It’s not like I could just ask Clarke for it directly, you know… Talk about awkward…Ugh.” Raven’s eyes rolled back in her head just at the thought. She still felt like there was more to say, especially from Octavia, but Raven could hear Clarke coming back down the hall, so she called out fairly loudly, “Really O, I’m fine, maybe a little tired. I think I’ll just to go to bed early and sleep off this terrible day.”

Schooling her features as best she could, she turned to Clarke when her friend re-entered the room a moment later. She was smiling, and Raven couldn’t help smiling with her as Clarke agreed, saying, “Yeah, Raven, you really should get some rest. Mom said you were good to sleep when you felt ready, no fear of internal swelling or concussion or anything.” Luckily for Raven, Clarke choose that moment to look around the room, so Clarke missed the grimace that flashed across her face at just the briefest mention of Abby. She glanced over to Octavia, hoping for a rescue, but Clarke pulled her attention back when she tentatively said, “Is it ok with you guys if I head out? I’d really like to go see what’s on Lexa’s… mind.”

Holding her breath, Raven cringed when Clarke seemed to finally find what she was looking for, quickly bending down to snatch up her phone off the coffee table. She could feel her heartrate shooting through the roof as Clarke puzzled over her phone for a second. Eventually, Clarke shrugged and turned to sit on the edge of the coffee table, but Raven couldn’t stop thinking about that baffled look on Clarke’s face when she’d first picked up her phone. She was sure she’d set everything back the way she’d found it, but as she went through it in her head again, her mistake hit her like ton of bricks. She hadn’t returned Clarke’s phone just like she found it, not even close. She had left it open to Abby’s contact, instead of clicking back over to Clarke text conversation with Lexa. ‘Shit, shit, SHIT!’ scrambled through her brain as Clarke turned to her, her friend’s eyes swimming with questions.

Octavia broke the silence though, finally swooping in for that rescue Raven had been hoping for; Octavia’s tone only a little strained as she blurted out, “Hey! You go get some Clarke… Don’t worry about Raven, I’ll be here if she needs anything.”

Clarke quickly turned to Octavia and Raven sighed in relief as she watched Clarke’s eyes light up again. Raven barely had a second to brace herself before Clarke was half sprawled over both of them, hugging them both tight. She felt a little twist of guilt; she couldn’t not, but then Clarke turned to her and smiled that goofy, happy smile, and Raven knew she was making the right choice. Of course, Clarke deserved to know, but only when Raven had something of substance to tell her. She simply flashed Clarke her trademark, cocky smile instead, and said, “Yeah, surely by now O knows how to take care of my invalid ass.”

Recoiling from their embrace, Clarke huffed and puffed, as she scooted back over onto the unoccupied section of the couch. Raven just barked in laughter, Grumpy Clarke looked more like Grumpy cat every time saw it. Octavia quickly joined in too, openly teasing as she said, “Yeah, Clarke, don’t worry… I’m sure I can handle hanging with the gimp alone for one night.”

Raven gasped, still not really offended, but that didn’t stop her from smacking at Octavia’s shoulder playfully as she exclaimed, “Hey! I’m right here, you know!” She shook her head when Clarke just huffed again and got up off the couch, making her way back towards her room, flipping them both off as she went. Raven’s immediate response echoed as Octavia shouted with her, “Yeah, we love you, too!”

 

~~~

 

Once they were alone again, Octavia wasn’t really surprised when Raven quickly turned to her and whispered conspiratorially, “Alright… I’m gonna go to my room now and _rest_.” Octavia smirked at the exaggerated yawn Raven made as she stood up from the couch. When Raven shot her a little wink over her shoulder, Octavia answered with a huffed laugh, knowing that when that shit hit the fan it was going to go everywhere. There was no avoiding at that point though, Octavia just hoped that she could manage to shield her eyes before it came around to slap her in the face. She didn’t really begrudge Raven though; she was pretty sure if someone told her she couldn’t see Anya because who she was related to, they would probably end up sneaking around too.

Eventually, Raven made her way out of sight, but Octavia decided she couldn’t let Raven go without one last tease, calling out loudly, “Ok, Rae, just shout if you need anything.” Octavia could hear Raven’s grumbling even from halfway across the apartment and that only served to fuel her laughter all over again.

A few minutes later, Octavia had enveloped herself in her own phone, texting back and forth with Anya, excited about the possibility of meeting up for dinner the next day. She was so engrossed she didn’t even notice when Clarke appeared at her elbow, goosing her under the ribs. She squealed in the most undignified way, but she immediately moved on the defensive, trapping Clarke’s arm under her own and bringing her other arm around to tickle Clarke right back. Clarke ended up falling over the arm of the couch and landing right in her lap. It wasn’t another three seconds before Octavia had her pinned to the couch, squealing and giggling and crying out for her to stop. Despite the commotion, Octavia could hear Raven grousing loudly from down the hall. Octavia looked up to find Raven leaning against the hall entryway to watch, a huge grin on her face. With the addition of an audience, Octavia really put on a show. Only when Clarke was totally out of breath, gasping desperately for air did Octavia finally let her up. She smirked and raised her eyebrows in a twitching motion as she said, “You should know better than to start a tickle fight with me Clarke. I always win.”

Clarke was still trying to regain her breath, but managed to choke out, “Just… trying… to… get.. your.. attention.” She took a few deep breaths before she continued, “And you thought I was into my phone earlier. I, at least, noticed when you guys came into the room. I was standing right beside you for a solid minute before I decided you needed a wake-up call.”

“Bah!” Octavia exclaimed, folding her arms across her chest, trying to hide her embarrassment behind her bravado. “Get out of here, Clarke, and for heaven’s sake, be an adult and take an overnight bag with you this time,” she pouted, her lips forming a sad frown.

But, Octavia knew Clarke was the best at reading her, and when Clarke laughed at her display, Octavia couldn’t hide how self-conscious she was feeling. Thankfully, Clarke didn’t comment about it, pushing forward instead, saying, “Already way ahead of you, O. I packed a bag for a few days this time. If all goes well, I— I think I’m going to just stay with her through my heat.” Octavia thought Clarke looked a little unsettled as she tried to hide her blush, ducking her head for a moment. She knew Clarke wasn’t really upset, but she couldn’t help but offer Clarke whatever comfort she could, quickly converging on her friend and wrapping Clarke in another hug. They both sighed when Raven’s warm arms, wrapped around them as well. That is, until Clarke squirmed uncomfortably and whispered, “Unless you guys want me to stay, I’d suggest we wrap this up, ‘cause yeah, I’m, uh, a little sensitive to the touch right now.”

Octavia and Raven both recoiled quickly from their friend, laughing heartily at Clarke’s shy admission. Octavia was first to recover her breath enough to speak though, finally saying, “Just be safe, and we’ll see you in a couple days.” Raven nodded along with her statement and gave their friend a thumb’s up. Octavia wondered for just the briefest second if there was anything raven wouldn’t say or do to get Clarke to leave, but she pushed those thoughts aside. Sure, she felt torn between her two friends, but she knew better than to try to do anything about it. It really wasn’t her place.

Thankfully, Clarke didn’t hang around long, smiling sweetly instead as she replied, “Will do, O. I’ll text you guys at some point and let you know I’m alive.” Without another word, Clarke gathered her overnight bag and her purse and made her way towards the front door. It clicked shut behind her, and Octavia heard it lock too, so with one more, brief squeeze, Octavia said goodnight to Raven as well, telling her, “Just don’t do anything rash like purpose or something?” Raven laughed at her, but Octavia could tell it was more nervous than anything else.

That worried her, but by the time Octavia made it into her bedroom, she was already thinking about Anya again. She checked the last message Anya had sent, and not really seeing an opening to text her back, Octavia decided not to push it and just go to sleep and see Anya the next day for dinner. That is, until her phone started to ring. She reached over blindly and answered it without a thought to who it could be, knowing that anyone calling her after eleven o’clock at night probably had a good reason. When Anya’s voice rang out through the speaker she nearly squealed in delight. “Hey, I didn’t wake you, did I?” Anya asked, and Octavia smiled shyly, shaking her head, even though Anya couldn’t see her.

“No, I was just settling into bed though,” Octavia replied quietly, blushing when she heard Anya groan slightly on the other end of the line.

“See, now I’m never going to be able to sleep, ‘cause I’m not gonna be able to stop thinking about what it would be like to be there in bed with you,” Anya crooned, and Octavia barely stifled a groan of her own. She’d already been daydreaming about after their intended dinner date, but now all she could think about was Anya in her bed; maybe just holding her, or hovering over her, or...

Anya snapped her out of that thought though, purring so heavily into the phone it almost sounded like she was growling. Octavia was sure her voice sounded a little strained as well as she agreed, “Yeah, I definitely wish you were here.”

She barely got the words out of her mouth before Anya jumped at that, blurting out, “I could be there, if you’d just ask me to _come…_ over.”

Octavia’s breath hitched in her chest, she couldn’t stop it, thinking about the implication there. Anya’s emphasis wasn’t hard to miss, and she was immediately transported back into her fantasies of what they would be doing if was Anya there. Involuntarily, Octavia half mumbled, “Now, that’s something I’d like to see.”

Her inadvertent tease had Anya purring into the phone again, and Octavia barely stifled a whimper when she heard Anya’s reply, “Well, gorgeous, just say the word and I’ll go get on my bike right now.”

Chuckling, Octavia couldn’t deny she was excited by Anya’s very obvious enthusiasm, but she reluctantly declined nonetheless, choosing responsibility first as she said, “Sorry, Anya, but not tonight. I’m actually really tired. I mean, I’m still recovering from last night and I have class at eight tomorrow, anyway.” Anya’s disappointment was palpable even through the phone, so Octavia quickly added, “But, I am very much looking forward to going to dinner with you tomorrow night. Do you have anywhere in mind?”

Hearing a rustling sound coming through the line, Octavia thought Anya was probably shifting in her bed or something. She had to force herself not to think about that possibility as Anya replied coolly, “Well, there is this little Greek place near my apartment that serves the best food, all traditional of course. I thought maybe my Greek goddess might want a touch of home.”

Blushing furiously at the compliment, Octavia was too overwhelmed to reply for just a moment. Hearing Anya say _my_ Greek goddess sent shivers down her spine. Anya was certainly laying it on thick, but to Octavia it only made Anya seem more appealing and endearing. It meant a lot that Anya was willing to try so hard to win her over. She simply listened to Anya breath until she thought she could make some sort of intelligible reply and finally she whispered, “I think I’d like that very much, but you… you do realize I’m not actually Greek, right?”

Anya’s light little laugh was soothing, but then Octavia nearly gasped when Anya asked bluntly, “Well, how can you be so sure?”

Instantly speechless again, Octavia found herself running that scenario through her head, imagining her father as some hard-bodied Greek deity. The image wasn’t all together pleasant though, mostly because Octavia didn’t like thinking about her father, much less imaging what he might look like. She didn’t even know his full name, just Phil. How could she even begin to put a face to him, the nearly nameless man? She sighed into the phone, unable to control the heaviness she was feeling, and she said, “You’re right, I don’t know for sure. My dad could have been Greek, but I’ve never met him, he left before I was born, so yeah, you’re right... I don’t know…” She instantly regretted her sharp tone though, realizing that her words hadn’t come out at all how she had wanted them to. She backpedaled quickly then, saying, “Anya, I’m sorry. That’s not— I didn’t mean that to come out like it did. I-I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty or anything. I was just trying to share—”

“Relax, Octavia. I know what you meant, and I know how you feel. I, uh, I don’t know much about my mom either. My dad told me some things, like she was from Tibet, but she died before I was old enough to know her too,” Anya interrupted softly. Octavia felt herself relax slightly at Anya’s admission because it was nice to remember that everyone had pain and that she wasn’t alone.

Bolstered up a little, she swallowed down her embarrassment and moved on, saying, “All I’ve got are stories too. My dad took off when he found out Mom was pregnant with me. Bell remembers some stuff, but most of it is pretty bad. Apparently, he was a mean drunk. I guess that’s where Bell gets it from. He can be a lot to handle after he’s had more than a just couple beers, too. Not mean, just aggressive… protective, you know?” She wasn’t sure if she should tell Anya about the time Bellamy had been super drunk and gotten pissed at her boyfriend, Adam. She cringed a little as she remembered how Bellamy had dragged Adam out of their apartment by his ear. She didn’t find out until much later that Bellamy had tied him to a tree and left him there all night, all because Bellamy had caught them kissing earlier in the evening.

She quickly decided that story could wait to be told, focusing on Anya instead when she heard Anya draw in a long breath, obviously preparing to respond. Anya’s voice was almost light when she finally said, “Yeah, I was pretty protective over Lexa too, until she presented at least, then I figured she could handle herself. I can’t imagine how defensive I would have been if she had turned out to be an omega.” Octavia’s eyebrows shot up at that, but Anya quickly added, “Not that omegas can’t take care of themselves… You definitely proved that last night. I don’t know if I made myself clear about that, but watching you taking on those three guys was probably the sexiest thing I have ever seen.”

Blushing and giggling at the praise, Octavia was amazed how Anya could make her feel both embarrassed and aroused at the same time. She smirked, as she curled up on her side, thinking that she wouldn’t mind exploring that later, imagining all the dirty things Anya might say to make her blush. She let Anya’s words hang between them for a moment before she cupped the phone to her mouth as she whispered, “Well, it might sound cheesy, but you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

It was so tempting when Anya groaned into the phone again, and huffed, “You sure you don’t want me to come over?” She laughed, trying to buy herself some time, but her breath hitched hard when she heard Anya let out a rumbling growl. She couldn’t help the shiver that ran down her spine and for just a moment, she thought about begging Anya to come over.

Instead, she took a deep breath and whispered, “God, I wish, but really, tonight’s just not a good night. I really should be asleep already.” She thought about leaving it there, not trusting herself not to go back on her words. Still, she felt compelled to add, “But… I don’t have class at all on Tuesday, just training starting at noon, so…” She let her voice trail off there, implying her intentions for after their dinner date.

Anya groaned again, obviously not liking to have to wait, but Octavia knew it was mostly for show, when Anya softly replied, “Well then, I guess I should let you get some sleep. Goodnight, Octavia. Sweet dreams…”

Swooning at the way Anya uttered her name, Octavia felt swayed once again. It was the way Anya said it, the veneration and respect, like she really was a goddess to Anya. She barely managed to whisper her reply, “Thank you, Anya. You too. Goodnight…”

Feeling on edge, Octavia eventually hung up the phone, unable to stop herself from listening to Anya breathe for just a second more. There was an ache forming in her chest and she curled her body around a pillow to try to ease it. That was only partly effective, but eventually, she managed to relax it away. When sleep did finally come, her dreams were filled with blurred images; flashes of swirling dirty blonde hair and piercing golden-brown eyes and smooth caramel skin.

 

~~~

 

Teeth hastily cleaned and face even more hastily washed, Raven barely managed to make it into her bedroom before she had her phone out, opened to Abby’s contact. She couldn’t believe she was doing it; she was going to text Abby. She still felt that little bit of guilt, but the longer she stared at Abby’s contact screen, the less she cared. She had to see this through. She quickly typed in her message. It was a long one, full of things like, ‘I need to see you,’ and ‘I don’t care what anyone else thinks,’ but when she read it back to herself, she immediately deleted it. It wasn’t right to put that kind of pressure on Abby. She typed in a shorter message then, but decided a moment later that a simple, ‘This is Raven. We need to talk,’ wasn’t right either. It wasn’t enough and yet, it was still too much, all at the same time. Feeling her anxiety reach critical mass, she collapsed down onto her bed and closed her eyes. She tried some deep breathing, but it did little to help her relax.

What did work, was thinking of Abby; imagining Abby’s arms wrapped around her waist, or Abby’s scent filling her nose. She opened eyes again and brought the phone in front of her face. She stared at the blank message, still not sure what to say, but ultimately, she decided to just do what she was supposed to be doing, letting Abby know she was alright. She typed in, ‘Abby, this is Raven. I just wanted you to know I’m doing ok,’ and then sent it before she could second guess herself again.

Burying her face in the pillow, Raven forced herself not to watch her phone waiting for a reply. It was only a few moments before her phone started to vibrate though. It kept vibrating too, and Raven nearly panicked when she realized that Abby was calling her. Her shock only lasted for just a moment however, before she quickly answered it with a gasped, “He-llo?”

Abby’s voice came through the line just as breathy, as she said, “Raven, I— I’m so glad you’re ok.” The wave of relief Raven felt when she heard Abby’s voice was stronger than she wanted to admit. She nearly lost herself in it, but when she heard Abby clear her throat, she realized she’d been quiet to long. It wasn’t another second before Abby suddenly said, “I… I shouldn’t have called. It’s, uh, it’s late. I just— I’ll just let you go.”

The pain in Abby’s voice was clear and Raven whined at the hurt that echoed in her chest. She quickly replied, “Don’t! I— I’m really glad you called. We should talk…” She paused for a deep calming breath before she continued, starting softly, “I know things are… complicated, with Clarke and the age difference and whatever else that might come along, but I— I think we owe it to ourselves to at least see where we could go… I—” Abby’s purring into the phone broke Raven’s concentration, sending a jolt of heat down her body. She gathered her nerve though and blurted out, “I just want to get to know you, Abby. I feel so drawn to you. I mean, you’re caring and tender, but so solid and strong… I want to try. Can we, please, try?”

By the end, Raven was sure she sounded desperate and pleading, but she couldn’t care. She was pleading; she didn’t want to miss this chance they were being given, a chance to be happy, a chance to have something together. When Abby breathed her name then, Raven thought surely rejection was coming but Abby just whispered, “I want that, too… I want to try, too.” Raven thought she was going deaf from the shock of those words; a long moment of silence swelling between them, before Abby finally added, “Will you— will you have dinner with me?”

Raven felt like her heart was going to burst right out of her chest. She’d been prepared to argue with Abby, about why they could or couldn’t see each other again, but when Abby had returned her sentiment so easily, she wondered how fast a human heart could beat before it simply exploded. She chuckled, thinking that Abby probably knew the answer to that. Her hand moved over her heart instinctively, trying to quell the pounding in her chest. She knew she needed to say something, needed to say, ‘Yes, of course, God, yes!’ but her thoughts weren’t making it all the way to her mouth. She heard Abby’s breath catch then, hopefully in anticipation, but the fear that it might be trepidation drove Raven to exclaim, “You— I— Yes! Yes!” She blushed at how excited she sounded and was suddenly glad Clarke had left because she was sure that she was being loud, too. At that thought, she sobered a little bit, and was much more composed when she said again, “Yes, Abby, I would love that. When? Tomorrow?”

Abby’s nervous chuckle made Raven anxious all over again, but eventually Abby replied, “I have to work late tomorrow. I have a big surgery scheduled.” Raven couldn’t help but whine in disappointment, drawing a resulting whimper from Abby as well. Hearing Abby sound so despondent hurt, but that feeling drifted away just as quickly when Abby continued, “I—I should be done around 8:30, if that’s not too late for you.”

Smiling, Raven thought it wouldn’t matter if Abby wasn’t getting out until midnight, she’d take whatever time with Abby she could get. She didn’t say that though, trying not to sound too eager. Instead, she calmed her tits a little and said, “8:30 sounds fine with me.” Once her mouth was open, all bets were off, and she continued before she could stop herself, “You see, that’s the nice thing about owning your own business, I can always go in late on Tuesday if I need to…” She hadn’t meant to say that, hadn’t meant to imply that she would be pleased as punch if Abby did keep her out late, but it wasn’t like she could take those words back.

Thankfully, Abby didn’t seem to mind. In fact, Raven was a little shocked when Abby flirted back, saying, “Well, it is good to know that if I keep you up all night you won’t get in trouble at work. So, should I pick you up? From the shop or…?”

So lost in Abby’s words, Raven barely understood the question. Images of _being up all night_ with Abby had flooded her mind, making her shift uncomfortably in her bed, skin suddenly tingling and heart racing all over again. She blinked into the phone when Abby repeated her question, and finally got herself together enough to say, “Yeah, you should pick me up from the shop. It’s, uh, there’s less chance of us running into… Clarke that way.” She hesitated on the name, not sure how Abby felt about her bringing it up, but she also knew they’d have to talk about that particular situation at some point anyway.

Abby’s voice sounded only a little more halted as she replied, “Yes, that’s probably _wise_. Well, I guess, I’ll see you about 8:30 tomorrow night, then.”

Raven got the impression Abby really meant for her words to come out as a statement, but the way her inflection lilted up at the end, it almost sounded like a question. In Raven’s mind there was no question about it though, and she answered quickly and earnestly, “Yeah, that sounds great. I— I can’t wait to see you again, Abby.”

The content sigh that came through the phone was probably the best part of their whole conversation; the sound telling Raven just how much Abby agreed. She heard it in Abby’s voice too when Abby said, “Me too, Raven, me too… Anyway, I’m so, so glad you’re feeling alright. I’ll, uh, I’ll text you when I’m on my way tomorrow?”

That time Raven was sure she heard the question in Abby’s voice, and she hummed as she replied, “Mmhmm, I look forward to it… Goodnight, Abby.”

Abby hummed a little too, as she purred, “Goodnight, Raven…” The silence that came after told Raven that Abby had hung up, but she couldn’t help holding the phone to her ear for a moment longer, part of her hoping Abby was just holding her breath. After only a couple of seconds of that though, Raven found herself laughing. She couldn’t believe Abby had agreed so easily, that their whole conversation had gone so smoothly. She was over-the-moon excited about their date, but there was a part of her that was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.


	12. The Cycle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I think it's about time we turned up the heat... Enjoy!

The whole way to Lexa’s apartment, Clarke could feel her heat approaching, faster and faster as each second ticked by. She hadn’t really thought about it much throughout the day. The stress of brunch with her mom and then having to take Raven to the hospital had managed to distract her from it. Once she was close to getting what her body needed though, she could feel her skin calling out to be touched; calling out for Lexa’s touch. She blushed when she thought about it that way, that she was so in tune with Lexa that she couldn’t imagine spending her heat with anyone else. She was still a little nervous though, because she knew, this time her cycle wouldn’t be stalled. She was about to go through her first unsuppressed heat, and with someone she barely knew. She and Lexa would probably end up tied a dozen times or more over the next few days. Well, hopefully, they did, anyway.

The closer she got to her destination, the less she worried about it being her first heat though. Lexa had been a considerate lover the night before, despite her tendency to tease, even if it had been inadvertent. Clarke remembered the way Lexa had tended to her, prepared her, cared for her in a way a that relative stranger shouldn’t have been able to do. She remembered Lexa asking her permission every step of the way too. Even after Lexa had popped her knot, Lexa had still made sure it was what Clarke wanted before she sank it inside. Suddenly, all Clarke could think about was getting to Lexa, so they could talk… and kiss and suck and lick and… She snapped herself out of those hazy lust-filled thoughts in the nick of time, just before they could run away with her completely. Still, she squirmed uncomfortably in her seat when realized she was already so slick, just from thinking about Lexa.

At least, it didn’t take long to get to Lexa’s place, only about 20 minutes or so. In just that short amount of time though, Clarke felt that slight tingle under her skin start to itch, like her skin would burn off if she wasn’t being touched by someone soon. She knew her skin was probably flushed too, if the slight sheen of sweat that was beginning to form in her hairline was any indication. She just hoped she could get to Lexa before the muscle cramps set in, because she’d be in real trouble then. She quickly wiped her face and arms down with a make-up remover wipe from her to-go bag. The cool cloth running over her skin was soothing, even if the feeling only lasted for a few moments. It was enough to get her moving again, allowing her focus on more important things, like letting Lexa know she was close. She took in a deep steadying breath as she pulled out her phone. She shot Lexa a quick, ‘I’m here,’ before climbing out of her car. She contemplated leaving her bag behind, but quickly decided to just bring it with her and save herself the trip out later to get it. She didn’t really want to assume she would be staying the night, but with her heat already singing beneath her skin, she was not looking forward to trying to get home again.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket as she strolled down the hallway towards Lexa’s apartment. She fished it out to find a cheery ‘Me Too!’ on the screen. Clarke laughed at Lexa’s almost nerdy response, but instead of texting her back, she simply knocked on Lexa’s door. Not three seconds later, the door opened, and Lexa’s scent came wafting out. Clarke stood stock still, scared if she moved she was going to jump Lexa right there in the doorway. She knew immediately that her heat was affecting her ability to control herself, so instead of pushing into Lexa’s space, she waited until Lexa opened her arms in invitation before she charged through the doorway. She barely had time to drop her bag before wrapped both arms around Lexa’s neck and kissed her like they would never get another one.

Lexa groaned heavily into the kiss, shivering as she drew breath back in to replace the lost air, and Clarke felt it; the instant Lexa caught the heat in her scent. Lexa’s arms tightened around her waist and Clarke had to swallow hard around the urge to just climb up onto Lexa’s hips and beg for a ride to her bedroom. She had to keep herself together, because apparently, they really needed to ‘talk,’ but her inner omega had other plans. Her clit suddenly throbbed and her breath hitched when she felt Lexa’s body respond, a considerable bulge rapidly swelling against the front of Lexa’s jeans. She groaned when it first brushed her hip, but Lexa groaned too before shifting away from the contact. It wasn’t hard to tell that Lexa’s groan hadn’t been one of pleasure, but pain instead. Clarke quickly pulled back, suddenly embarrassed for basically tackling Lexa. Not knowing what else to do, she dipped her head a little and whispered a shy, “Hi.”

After a moment though, Lexa simply pulled her close again, and nuzzled her nose against the side of Clarke’s neck and jaw, encouraging Clarke to look up again. Feeling the tip of Lexa’s nose trailing over her skin was intoxicating, but Clarke easily followed Lexa’s lead, looking up to find those verdant eyes filled with desire. Clarke shivered at the first sound of Lexa’s voice, a delicate sort of husky, as Lexa finally said, “Hi, yourself. That was some kiss, you know?”

Instantly embarrassed all over again, Clarke blushed furiously, ducking her head to hide it as she apologized, “Yeah, sorry for just attacking you like that. My, uh, my heat is coming, like now.” She glanced up at Lexa then, amazed by the way Lexa’s pupils were dilating right before her eyes. She pushed forward slightly and planted her lips sweetly on Lexa’s again. This time it was the chaste, innocent kiss she had intended as a greeting in the first place. As much as she wanted to keep kissing Lexa though, she knew she didn’t have long before she wouldn’t able to stop herself from begging Lexa to fuck her and knot her and make her come over and over. She all but forced herself to pull back again, but even after a considerable effort, she still only managed to get far enough away to mumble against Lexa’s lips, “Which means, if we need to talk, then we should do that soon, before I get carried away and jump you again.”

Watching the muscles in Lexa’s neck, Clarke followed the strain under her skin as Lexa swallowed, hard. She could see how much Lexa wanted her to get carried away, but after another moment, Lexa pulled far enough away to take Clarke’s hand in her own. Clarke stumbled a little as Lexa started leading them towards the living room. She sighed a little sadly at the loss of contact, but it was comforting being able to keep ahold of Lexa’s hand as they made their way to the couch. Clarke smiled as Lexa waved her free hand in the air in a flourish, offering for Clarke to sit before Lexa took the seat beside her on the couch. Clarke thought she saw a flash of something in Lexa’s expression, fear maybe, or anxiety, but when Lexa finally turned to her fully, all Clarke could read in her expression was how serious Lexa had become. Obviously, Lexa thought what she had to say was of the upmost importance, and Clarke had to keep herself from laughing nervously, suddenly unsure if bringing her bag inside was such a good idea.

Thankfully, Lexa didn’t drag her feet, simply saying, “I do have something important to tell you and I feel it may be hard for you to hear, but it’s something you need to know before we move forward.” Clarke held her breath as Lexa drew in a steadying breath of her own, before she bluntly added, “I know your mom. We’ve known each other for a while. Abby was the surgeon who t-tried to… to save Costia’s life.” Clarke’s face went utterly blank as she listened to Lexa’s confession. She didn’t really know how to react to that. ‘So, what if they know each other? It’s not like they hang out together, right?’ Clarke thought as she mulled over Lexa’s words, but it was as if Lexa heard her thoughts though, because Lexa quickly corrected herself, “Well, we more than know each other. We’re friends. She was at Polaris with Anya and I last night.”

Clarke’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at that new information and for a moment she couldn’t do anything but gape, open-mouthed, slack jawed, completely in shock. Eventually though, she thought she had finally managed to muster up enough cognition to respond, but all that came out was a sputtered, “You— My mom— Wh—?”

Her vision blurred and she suddenly felt weak, but Lexa’s voice brought her back from the brink of nowhere as she repeated herself, “Yes, your mom and I are friends.” Clarke shook her head then, like maybe she could make it not true if she could shake her head hard enough. Lexa laughed at the gesture though, another bit of that husky sweetness, and Clarke blushed again when she felt a shiver course down her spine at the sound. She started to look down again, not wanting Lexa to see her so confused and embarrassed, but Lexa quickly cupped her palms against her cheeks. Their eyes met again, and Clarke sighed as Lexa softly said, “Are you ok?”

Clarke nodded, but she still couldn’t find the right words to express what she was feeling. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing that Lexa was a friend of her mom’s. It was just weird. Of course, she knew her mom had friends, but Clarke assumed they were all her mother’s age and settled adults, with their own lives and kids and spouses and whatever; not twentysomething DJ’s and their bartender cousins. The reasonable part of her brain pointed out that if Lexa and her mom already knew each other, and were in fact friendly, it would mean her mother might be more accepting of her bourgeoning relationship with Lexa than she thought. That thought calmed her down a bit, and the soft look in Lexa’s eyes did the rest, and she finally gathered her wits enough to ask, “How do you know she’s my mom?”

It seemed Lexa was expecting that question, at least with how quickly she replied, “Like I said, she was with Anya and I at the club last night. I talked to her earlier, and she said when she, uh, _spotted_ us together. She said she was trying not to interfere, so she just left us alone… I guess, she must like me more than I originally thought.”

Clarke couldn’t help but chuckled at that, the idea of her mom in Polaris, drinking and dancing and having a good time. The image made her smile, imagining her mother having fun again, but it was a bittersweet feeling too. She brushed past those dark thoughts though, and asked the next logical question, “So, when I went to brunch with her today, she knew exactly where I had just been?” As the words exited her mouth the realization of what that meant really hit her. She had gone to meet her mother, reeking of Alpha and sex and heat, not knowing that Abby would have instantly recognized Lexa’s scent on her skin and clothes. She was suddenly, and completely, mortified by that, and her heart began to race in a panic. “Why didn’t she say anything to me?” Clarke blurted, before slapping her hands over her mouth, trying to keep herself from blurting out anything else; like why Lexa hadn’t said anything about this last night, before they... She started almost hyperventilating into her hands then, trying and failing to keep control over herself.

For just a moment, she thought she was going to pass out, but then Lexa reached across the distance between them and gently pulled her hands away from her mouth, clasping them tightly in her own. The movement should have startled Clarke, but the warmth of Lexa’s hands was soothing instead. She felt her anxiety slip further and further away as Lexa murmured quietly, “Hey, breathe, it’s ok, beautiful, just breathe…” Clarke tried, she did, but it wasn’t until she’d taken in several deep gulps of air that she felt like she could concentrate on anything other than the sensation of her hands gently cradled in Lexa’s warm palms. She glanced up when Lexa cleared her throat, their eyes meeting as Lexa continued, a little more firmly, “When Anya called me earlier and told me you two were related, I knew I had to call Abby, to clear the air. Trust me when I say, she was just as embarrassed and frustrated as you are by this whole situation. I think she didn’t say anything to you about our friendship because she was trying not to put pressure on you, on us. She said she thought you could do a lot worse than me. She, uh, she also wanted me to tell you that you could call her anytime, if you needed to talk about any of this.”

The circuits in Clarke’s brain connected in a sharp way then, and she only sputtered a little as she hastily replied, “I— I’m not sure I’m ready for that.” She wasn’t sure she’d ever be ready to talk to her mother about any of it, but then she caught the look in Lexa’s eyes, and she suddenly felt like she was done talking. Lexa’s reassuring words and tone had lulled Clarke into letting her guard down, so seeing that look of thinly-veiled desire brought her heat roaring back towards to surface in an instant. Her omega wanted to be wanted, and from the look in Lexa’s eyes, she was definitely wanted. Her next breath was so absolutely filled with Lexa’s pheromones that she nearly fainted again. Any lingering doubts she might have had, about spending her heat with Lexa, disappeared completely.

When Lexa’s nostrils flared widely, she could tell Lexa was aware of her encroaching heat too. Lexa’s hands twitched around her own, Lexa obviously fighting the urge to grip her in other places. It was sweet that Lexa was resisting what Clarke knew they both wanted, and she couldn’t help leaning in to place a sweet kiss to Lexa’s cheek as she said, “I am sure I’m ready for this, though.” She moved to bring herself closer to Lexa as she added, “I’ve never felt so ready for anything my whole life.”

Lexa’s harsh sigh of relief shook Clarke to the core. She swooned into Lexa’s space when Lexa pressed a soft kiss to her temple and whispered, “Me too, Clarke… Me too.”

With her head dipped in towards Lexa, the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was the bulge in Lexa’s pants, her considerable bulge. The sudden nervous giggle that boiled out of her throat caught Clarke off-guard. Lexa flinched at the sound though, and Clarke immediately looked up, searching for the cause. Lexa mostly just looked embarrassed, eyes fixed on her own crotch, and Clarke couldn’t help but scooch closer and whisper, “Oh, I can definitely see that…” Her words had their intended effect too, bringing Lexa’s eyes up to meet her own again. That thinly-veiled desire wasn’t so hidden anymore, Lexa’s eyes wide and wild. Clarke barely had a chance to register the movement before lexa was pulling her across her lap.

Gasping at the possessive move and at her new position, Clarke shivered at the feeling of knees bracketing Lexa’s hips. Her instincts kicked into high gear then, and she immediately ground down against Lexa’s lap.  When she felt Lexa’s hands grip her hips, she sighed, so looking forward to the places that grip was about to take her. She moaned the first time Lexa pulled down, directing her to grind directly against that bulge tenting Lexa’s jeans. The noises Lexa was making were spurring her on too, and before Clarke knew it, she was shamelessly grinding herself against Lexa. In a matter of moments, she was close, but then Lexa groaned again, and Clarke realized that dry humping on the couch wasn’t nearly enough. She needed more; she needed everything Lexa had. Despite her heart pounding in her ears and the heat flushing her skin, she managed to choke out a rough, “ _Take me, Lexa, please?_ ”

Lexa’s eyes glazed over as she uttered those words, but before Clarke could even squeal, Lexa’s lips were trailing down her throat and Lexa’s hands were pushing up the back of her shirt. Clarke gasped when she felt those deft fingertips unhooking her bra. Her shirt and bra came off in one fluid motion a moment later and she rocked down again as Lexa’s kisses moved further down, into the crook of her neck and her shoulder. She shivered as goosebumps spread over her skin, the feeling of Lexa’s lips burning and soothing all at once. Then, Lexa nipped lightly at the bruise she had left the night before, and Clarke’s hips jerked forward, her body arching harshly away from Lexa’s mouth. The movement ripped a feral groan from Lexa’s throat, and Clarke couldn’t stop herself from rocking her hips forward again, chasing the friction desperately. When the contact didn’t return though, she whined in utter disappointment. A chill raced down her spine a moment later when Lexa purred, “Stand up, so we can get these off.”

It took her a second to wrap her head around the request, but then she scrambled to her feet, immediately toeing off her shoes and socks. She frantically tried to work the clasp of her belt, but she let out a frustrated grumble, when she couldn’t make her shaky fingers listen to her. Lexa interrupted her though, shushing her lightly and she said, “Here, love. Let me help.” She sighed as Lexa’s hands gently slipped under her own, making quick work of the belt buckle, as well as the button and zipper of her jeans. Her breath hitched though, when she felt Lexa’s fingers hook into the waistband of her underwear as well. She shivered as Lexa slowly pulled the articles down over her legs, more goosebumps erupting over her skin as Lexa’s knuckles brushed along the length of her thighs.

Lexa, kneeling before her, looking up at her like she was the most beautiful woman on the entire planet, made Clarke moan out loud. There was so only so much more eye fucking she could take though, at least before she did something rash. The eye contact was so intense that Clarke couldn’t look away, even when Lexa’s lips started to move. She was murmuring so softly that the sounds didn’t reach Clarke’s ears, but what she could hear was the sound of another zipper being pulled down, slow and teasing. Her eyes snapped down along Lexa’s body just as her shaft sprang free from her jeans, standing proudly at attention. Clarke could only gape at the way it was already leaking fluid from the tip. Mind going completely hazy with lust, Clarke barely fought off the urge to drop to the ground to give the glistening head a taste. She didn’t get long to think about that though, as Lexa quickly rose to her feet again and started stripping off her own clothes.

Trembling, all Clarke could do was watch as Lexa returned to her position on the couch. She was mesmerized by the way Lexa’s muscles strained under skin. She let her eyes follow as Lexa leaned over to pull something out of the end table at the far end of the couch. She heard the ripping of the foil and her eyes immediately snapped to the item in Lexa’s hands. She whined as Lexa began rolling a condom down over herself. When Lexa looked up at her then, Clarke simply shook her head and pushed into Lexa’s space, as she said “You, uh, you won’t be needing that tonight. I— I trust you, Lexa and I’m on birth control… I just wanna feel you, _all of you_ , ok?”

Feeling very proud of herself, Clarke smiled. She wasn’t sure how she had managed to make mostly complete sentences at that point, but she didn’t dwell on it; not when Lexa nodded and quickly discarded the ring of rubber onto the end table. That was an invitation if Clarke ever saw one and she quickly climbed back into Lexa’s lap, ultimately settling with her core pressed firmly against the underside of Lexa’s shaft. It was so hot, and it twitched against her folds, obviously eager for more. Clarke groaned as she ground down against Lexa again, finally smearing her slick up and down along the length of Lexa’s shaft. When Lexa gripped sharply at her hips, Clarke’s walls pulsed in anticipation, but she hissed as Lexa’s fingers squeezed against the deep purple bruises Lexa had left in the hollow of her hip the night before. She felt Lexa start to pull away at the sound, but Clarke clutched at her desperately, begging, “I-I like it. Please, just take me, mark me, please.” She was quickly becoming frantic, and she was afraid Lexa would tease or hesitate, but she sighed with relief when Lexa immediately pulled her down again, forcing her length to rub deliciously against her clit. She mewled in pleasure, rocking into the contact, seeking more and more. She fought down a whine when Lexa’s hands trailed around behind her though, instantly missing the firm grip. She didn’t miss it for long though, when Lexa’s fingers squeezed roughly at her ass instead, encouraging her to rise up slightly. Clarke rushed to follow Lexa’s lead then, realizing she was about to get everything she wanted. When there was enough space, she immediately reached down between them, taking Lexa’s length in her hand. Lexa let out a groan at the contact, Clarke barely heard it, too intent on getting Lexa lined up, so she could finally sink down.

All the air was forced out of her lungs a moment later when the sensation of being filled flooded her senses. A wave of relief followed, but it was short lived, because while it felt incredible to take Lexa inside her, she needed to move. _She needed Lexa to move_. She couldn’t keep her desperate whine to herself as Lexa firmly gripped her hips again, and sharply pulled her up along the length buried inside her. Clarke barely had time to blink before Lexa was pulling her back down again, sliding in so deep there was nowhere else for her to go.

On the next rapid withdrawal, Clarke felt Lexa’s grip tighten even further, and she cried out as Lexa pulled her down and thrust up at the same time, slamming herself back inside, deep and raw. Lexa’s grip never faltered as she quickly synched her harsh thrusts, falling into a nearly brutal rhythm. Clarke huffed out each breath, her heat taking over as she allowed Lexa to absolutely ravage her. All she could think was how delicious it felt to have Lexa driving her towards the edge with such controlled abandon. And, she could feel that inevitable release building and building with each pump of Lexa’s hips, but still she needed more. She wasn’t sure what was missing, but she pulled Lexa’s head hard against her chest, hoping Lexa would know what to do. Clarke was at a loss, for words and for thought; the feeling of Lexa’s length throbbing and twitching inside her making her absolutely frantic for more.

Much to her relief, Lexa quickly latched onto one of her nipples and after only a couple of swirls of that wicked tongue, Lexa’s teeth sunk harshly into her firm flesh. Clarke arched into her mouth, knowing Lexa was leaving yet another mark, but she reveled in the feeling of being marked, being claimed, by her alpha. A moment later, Lexa’s tongue swirled over the mistreated nipple, soothing the angered flesh, before moving her attentions to the other one. Clarke was so lost in the sensation of Lexa suckling her nipple that she almost missed it when Lexa started to withdraw, but she instantly worried her hands into Lexa’s hair and clutched desperately to Lexa’s scalp. Lexa groaned against her nipple and the vibrations only made Clarke grip her even tighter. Lexa’s teeth sank into her skin once again and Clarke couldn’t stop it when her head lolled back. She panted open-mouthed at the ceiling, screaming Lexa’s name as Lexa sped up the pace of her thrusts. Clarke began uttering the most incoherent things then, but Lexa just kept going, and before long Clarke’s whole body went stiff with pleasure. She felt like she was going to shake completely apart as she shuddered through her first orgasm of the night.

Lexa wasn’t pulling any punches either. She simply kept up her brutal pace, pumping into Clarke right through her climax and Clarke found herself rapidly spiraling her way towards another release. Lexa groaned as she clenched through a round of aftershocks, and that was when Clarke felt it, the swelling of Lexa’s knot beginning to form. She blinked her eyes open, taking in Lexa’s body, covered in a light sheen of sweat, as Lexa continued to pound up into her. The fluttering light that moved across Lexa’s abs showed every detail of the definition there and the way those muscles tensed and rolled had Clarke completely entranced. Clarke wondered what it would feel like for Lexa to give her everything she had. She could barely breath from the already furious pace, but Clarke could feel Lexa holding something back. She couldn’t quite nail down what that might be in her heat-driven state, but she knew that at some point she wanted to make Lexa become totally unhinged. She cupped Lexa’s jaw for just a moment, searching Lexa’s almost completely black eyes, staring into that hint of the forest that remained. Lexa’s panted breath against her face was filled with Lexa’s scent though, and Clarke was nearly overwhelmed by it. Lexa’s knot bumped against her opening with every pump of Lexa’s hips too, and the teasing, not teasing, made her feel like she might go crazy if Lexa didn’t push deeper soon. IT seemed the eye contact did the trick though, their combined movements ratcheting up until they were not much more than a blur. Eventually, Lexa’s head fell back, finally releasing her nipple and Clarke groaned as she pulled Lexa’s mouth up to meet her own.

The kiss was hard and hungry, an all-encompassing thing, that made Clarke burn for more. She tried to take more too, forcing her tongue past Lexa’s lips, but Lexa just growled and nipped at it, before trailing her lips down. She thought Lexa was moving back towards her chest, but when Lexa’s lips moved up the side of her neck instead, Clarke immediately craned her head to the side, giving Lexa all the access she could want. At first, Lexa simply nuzzled against the source of her scent, breathing her in, and Clarke shuddered as a hot lance of desire rocketed all down to her toes. That heat eventually settled low in her belly, fixating on Lexa’s shaft heaving inside her. Clarke whimpered when Lexa’s lips met the scent gland tucked up under her ear. She knew it was too soon for a mating mark, they’d specifically talked about that the night before, but damned if Clarke’s omega wasn’t demanding just that. She squirmed in Lexa’s grip, straining to give more of herself to Lexa, and almost hoping the alpha inside Lexa would take more in return.

Through all the kissing and biting and nuzzling, Lexa had kept up her thrusts, steady and fast. Clarke tried to rock herself down in time with the relentless pace, but when Lexa’s lips sucked at the skin of her neck she faltered. She could feel Lexa’s knot pressing insistently at her entrance, and she knew without a doubt it was fully formed, hot and hard and heavy, looking for a warm place to settle. She couldn’t but glance down in between them then, needing to see the way Lexa was splitting her open, needing to make it more real. The angry, reddened flesh was screaming for attention, and Clarke whimpered, craving to offer it. She met Lexa’s eyes again and before Lexa even had a chance to ask, Clarke was already crying out, “Yes, yes, yes!”

Her frantic reply seemed to flip a switch inside Lexa and Clarke had to hold on for dear life as Lexa’s thrusts became harsher, more forceful, more… primal. Lexa’s hands pressed down even harder on her hips, and Clarke’s head fell back once more. She cried out over again, as Lexa began pumping deeper and deeper with each thrust. The harsh cries stemming from Clarke’s mouth shriveled up inside her mouth though when Lexa’s knot finally slipped inside, sealing them together. She was so overcome with the relief of being filled so perfectly that her she couldn’t think past the pulsing heat inside her. The thunderous orgasm that followed immediately after stole her breath as well, and all she could do was arch into Lexa as Lexa’s teeth latched onto her neck. The sudden sharp pain of splitting skin only made her fall over the edge even harder.

Her orgasm peaked again and again too, seeming to draw on forever. When she thought the waves were starting to ebb, Lexa suddenly released the hold she had on her neck and violently threw her head back. There was a deep throbbing sensation inside her and Clarke could tell Lexa was beyond close. A deep groan shuttered out from between Lexa’s parted lips, but hips kept rocking back and forth, moving mere centimeters in and out. That throbbing feeling absolutely pulsed inside her than as Lexa forcefully unloaded, filling Clarke with hot, thick, fluid. Clarke groaned as she felt every twitch and jerk and throb as Lexa emptied inside her. She moaned and panted and squirmed as another orgasm roared through her body, her walls rolling and quaking around Lexa’s knot, milking Lexa for every last drop. All Clarke could do was sigh in relief as she felt her heat finally abate, as Lexa filled her and filled her, fuller than she had ever been before.

Eventually, Lexa’s pinnacle slowed and then finally stopped, with one last weak gush. Clarke’s whole body was shaking, and she was having trouble catching her breath. When she opened her eyes, she found Lexa’s eyes stuck open, wide with concern. Clarke hadn’t even realized she was crying until Lexa’s hands cradled her face and began wiping away the big salty tears. “God, Clarke, are you ok? Are you in pain? Did I— I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Lexa sputtered out before pressing quick little kisses all over her face.

Despite Lexa’s grip, Clarke shook her head softly, and brought her hands up to rest behind Lexa’s neck. She brought their foreheads together then, so she could look right into Lexa’s eyes as she said, “No, no. I’m… I’m just a bit overwhelmed. I’ve never… I’ve never come that many times in a row. My whole body feels kinda mushy right now.”

Clarke knew that wasn’t the real reason she was crying, but she wasn’t about to tell her new mate that she regretted anything they had just done; Lexa deserved better than that. Lexa scoffed though, and a low growl rumbled through her chest. Clarke whined at Lexa’s obvious distress, but then Lexa’s head slumped down against her shoulder. Lexa’s hot breath tickled her skin as she whispered into her neck, her voice rough and full of regret and guilt, “That’s not everything, Clarke. Please, tell me what I did wrong?”

A little dumb-struck and stumbling, Clarke was surprised she managed a somewhat coherent response. She still had to sniff back the fresh round of tears before she could speak though, her voice rough from screaming as she whispered, “You… you claimed me. It— It felt so good, Lexa, but it’s just so soo—.” Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t continue, but her lips kept moving even though the only sounds coming out were just raspy wheezes.

Lexa placed a finger over her quivering lips, quieting her, and then quickly reached over to the side table and produced a bottle of water. Clarke grabbed it up gratefully and gulped at it until it was gone. She smiled sheepishly at Lexa then, and simply handed the empty bottle back to her. Lexa smiled sweetly though, shaking her head a little as Clarke continued to collect herself. Once she had recovered a bit more, Lexa finally explained, “The mark I left won’t scar. It is temporary, Clarke. I would never claim you without your permission, but I… I just couldn’t deny myself a quick taste. You are extraordinary, truly special, but I’m not ready for that either, not—”

Whatever Lexa was going to say next was lost inside Clarke’s mouth as Clarke claimed her lips, hungry all over again. Clarke didn’t need any more explanation than that and Lexa obviously had no complaints either, as their kisses quickly became heated again, hands roaming and fingers flexing and hips rolling. Soon, Clarke was a mewling, shivering mess, thoroughly and completely destroyed by the number of earth-rocking orgasms she’d had, especially in such a short amount of time. It seemed she had one more in her though, her body seizing as her teeth latched onto Lexa’s scent gland this time. When Lexa released inside her that time, Clarke felt her omega purr in contentment, her lower belly rounded slightly, filled to the brim with Lexa.

 

~~~

 

It would have been a sweet moment, with admissions made and not-quite-promises rendered, but all too soon Lexa was surprised to find Clarke passed out against her chest. She shouldn’t have been surprised though, not really anyway. She was pretty sure she’d just made Clarke come six times in a row. To be honest she felt pretty exhausted herself. With Clarke’s head resting in the crook of her neck, nestled in tight against her scent gland, Lexa just listened to Clarke breathe for a while, still trying to come down from their shared release. She guessed Clarke just came down a lot harder than she did. She didn’t mind though, not with Clarke’s wavy blonde hair fanned out over her shoulder, sweat-damp and sticking. She especially didn’t mind Clarke’s hands resting between their bodies, cuddled up against her. The way Clarke’s walls continued to flutter and tease, wasn’t exactly a hardship either. The subtle movements were keeping her length hard and ready though. It would probably be quite a while before her knot would go down enough for her to pull out, but she figured they would probably be starting all over again by then, so she contented herself to just relax and rest while she could.

The throbbing bruise Clarke had left on her neck was just as temporary as her mark on Clarke’s neck, but part of Lexa ached for it to last. Something about Clarke’s slow even breaths tickling the mark soothed the way it pulsed with her heartbeat, until Lexa could barely feel the sting at all. The only sensation left behind was a deep warmth, one that sank all the way to Lexa’s toes. It made her feel safe, safe enough that she could sleep if she wanted to, but she knew that wasn’t an option, not when there were so many things she was trying to memorize about the moment. She glanced down, and even though she could only see part of Clarke’s face, Lexa marveled at how beautiful Clarke looked. She swept a few stray sweaty hairs off the side of Clarke’s face, gentle as to not wake her. Never before had she seen someone look so peaceful. There was a brief flutter of Clarke’s eyelashes as the strands of hair tickled at them, but then Clarke was still, chest barely moving with the force of her breath. There was a rosy glow to her cheeks, despite the salty tear tracks Lexa could still make out running down towards Clarke’s chin. There was little line of drool at the corner of her mouth too, and Lexa thought that might be the most beautiful, most peaceful thing about Clarke in that moment, that she was so satisfied and felt so secure that she could just let herself go like that.

After a few more moments of simply resting in the nearly blissful silence, Lexa’s back and thighs began to cramp and stiffen under Clarke’s weight. She guessed Clarke wouldn’t be too happy waking up with cramps in her legs either. When she thought about the prospect of waking Clarke though, it was almost enough to make her just accept the pain in her own limps and back. She was willing to do anything if it meant Clarke wouldn’t have to be disturbed. Eventually though, Lexa’s quad muscle drew up and knotted, and she couldn’t hold in the hiss of pain that escaped her as the muscles ignited into hot misery. Clarke stirred in her arms, mumbling something about how she was sorry she was so heavy, but Lexa just shushed her, cooing into her ear, “Shh, it’s just a cramp. I’m going to move us to the bedroom, ok?”

Lexa smiled as Clarke sleepily nodded against her neck. Clarke burrowed in deeper as she brought her arms up around her shoulders. Lexa knew Clarke was ready when she felt Clarke clutch tightly to her neck. The new contact was a little overwhelming, but Lexa pushed on, carefully scooting forward on the couch. It seemed like it took forever just to get to the edge, but the last thing Lexa wanted was to hurt Clarke by moving too much too fast. With Clarke’s full weight over her hips, Lexa made to stand, but the movement caused her to shift hard inside Clarke. The resulting groan from Clarke was enough to make Lexa pulse and throb all over again, but she bit down against sensation. She needed to get her muscles stretched out before the pain burning in her thigh became more permanent. That would only hinder them later on. She needed to get them to her bedroom too, before anything else could happen, because while Lexa thought she had felt almost as frantic as Clarke for the completion of their first round, she was determined to take more time with their second. She figured Clarke was hers, at least for the next two or three days, and that meant that they could afford to go a little slower next time. She supposed that with the way Clarke was clinging to her, Clarke wouldn’t mind that either.

Preparing to stand again, Lexa pulled Clarke’s calves around her body, hoping Clarke had enough strength to support some of her own weight. Lexa knew she was in pretty good shape, but it would be a long walk to her bedroom if she was carrying all of Clarke’s weight by herself. A content sigh escaped her when Clarke’s legs quickly locked at the ankle behind her back. It felt almost possessive, like Clarke wasn’t going anywhere that Lexa wasn’t, and that almost made Lexa laugh. With Clarke’s walls still occasionally fluttering and rippling, she thought it would be a long, long time before either of them went anywhere alone.

Trying not to get distracted though, Lexa gripped tightly to Clarke’s lower back as she shifted her weight again. The pain that seared down her leg as she finally stood caused Lexa to groan harshly. The knot in her thigh pulled and bunched, pulsing with intense pain as she tried to push their combined weight down on it. She shifted and shuffled back and forth on her feet, slowly flexing her calves and thighs in an effort to relax the tense muscles further. Supporting Clarke’s added weight wasn’t as big of a deal as she thought at least, not with Clarke’s death grip around her shoulders and waist. By the time she finally started to feel her legs strengthen under her a little more, Clarke’s thighs were trembling around her waist. She quickly slipped one arm under Clarke’s rear, trying to help her remain upright.

When Clarke seemed stable again, Lexa stepped cautiously towards the kitchen, moving as gently as possible, trying not to jostle Clarke around on her knot too much. With every step, Clarke moaned and quivered around her length though, the slight shifting drawing more and more wanton sounds from Clarke’s throat as their bodies moved together. Lexa was keeping herself composed with thoughts of keeping her omega safe however, not wanting to do anything that might tear her knot from Clarke’s entrance. She pressed Clarke’s back against the side of the counter, only long enough to grab two bottles of water out of the bulk package resting there, before quickly wrapped her arm securely around Clarke’s waist again. Clarke laughed a little when Lexa slide the bottles of water between their bodies for safe keeping, but Lexa couldn’t think of any better option at the time. As they rounded the corner of the breakfast bar, Lexa paused again, thinking it might not be a bad idea to keep her phone close by and quickly grabbed it up off the counter as well. Clarke laughed again as she tucked it between them, but Lexa didn’t let it phase her. She just continued to move as gently as possible, balancing Clarke and their supplies, as she picked her way past their hastily discarded clothes, and on through her apartment to her bedroom.

By the time they reached the bed, Lexa was surprised to find Clarke was wide awake. Again, she shouldn’t have been surprised, she could smell the shift in Clarke’s scent. It was obvious Clarke’s heat was flaring to the surface once more, and she sighed as Clarke placed sweet chaste kisses all along her neck and shoulders, knowing all too well what Clarke was silently asking for. Trying to be gentle, Lexa laid Clarke down on the bed first. She instantly melted into Clarke’s soft curves, relaxing as her omega happily accepted her weight. She smiled at the thought, _her omega_. She never thought she would have that again, could have it even. Part of her mind reasoned that Clarke was not fully hers, but the other side of her brain pointed out that Clarke was hers enough, at least for the moment. She quickly decided that their current position was certainly a good place to start if something more long term were to develop. She silently hoped that it would; she could certainly get used to feeling Clarke underneath her.

She pulled back enough for their eyes to meet then, needing to see for herself if there was more underneath Clark’s heat-filled desire, needing to see if Clarke could love her. And, she couldn’t control the wave of emotions that swept over her, looking down into those deep blue eyes, boring back into her. They were filled with longing and desire, but it was far deeper than Lexa had expected. Clarke looked like the only thing that was keeping her from floating away was Lexa. “Clarke, I—” Lexa choked out then, surprised she could even manage that much with how tight her throat felt. She wanted to continue, but she just couldn’t; it was too much, it was too soon. She wanted to tell Clarke how she hoped this was just the beginning, how she hoped someday she would leave a mark that would scar. She held herself back, barely, but still she held.

Before she really knew what was happening though, she found herself burrowing her face in against Clarke’s neck, searching for something, the reassurance of Clarke’s pleased scent maybe. Or, maybe, she was just looking for a way to hide her face, to hide what she was feeling. She wasn’t really sure what she wanted, but when Clarke whirred loudly underneath her, and arched her head, exposing her neck, Lexa almost lost her already tenuous control over herself. She groaned against the urge to seek Clarke’s scent gland again, and this time leave a mark that would stick. Instead of giving in, she tried to rationalize. She recognized what her body was doing, pumping out hormones and pheromones as a direct reaction to Clarke’s heat. She had to do something to appease her alpha nature though, or else she might get overwhelmed. She started placing kisses all along Clarke’s shoulder, trying to ground herself in a safer area. She knew it wouldn’t be long before they were both inevitably carried away by Clarke’s heat again. She kissed everywhere she could reach, save for the one spot right over Clarke’s scent, trying not to tempt fate. Eventually she couldn’t resist brushing her nose over the tender skin anyway, sucking in a deep breath full of Clarke’s calming, yet invigorating scent. Before she could stop herself, Lexa whispered, “Clarke, I… I wish it would scar,” into the broken, marked skin, kissing it when Clarke arched into her mouth at the words.

Lexa felt it as Clarke choked back her own emotions, but then Clarke’s hands were buried in her hair, and a moment later, Clarke’s tongue was buried in her mouth. It seemed Clarke was trying to hide too, but Lexa just hummed into the kiss, loving the way she could feel all the things Clarke wished she could say, wished they could both say. All the hopes and dreams passing between them made Clarke taste sweeter and sweeter with every swipe of her tongue or nip of her teeth. The longer they stayed connected at the lips, the hotter Clarke’s heat seemed to burn too. Clarke’s scent filled the room, until finally Lexa felt like she might not be able to smell anything else ever again; Clarke’s scent was making such a permanent imprint in her olfactory sense that Lexa was sure it would change the way everything else smelled. Not that she would complain, Clarke’s delicious mix of sweet and sweat, earth and rain, was like a drug, one Lexa simply couldn’t get enough of. She eventually pulled back to breathe more of it in, gasping and panting from the passion of their kissing. Clarke only whined and squirmed though, obviously displeased with the interruption. Lexa nearly laughed when she spotted Clarke’s bottom lip, pouting out like a five-year-old who didn’t get the new toy they wanted. She couldn’t resist swooping in to suckle at Clarke’s already kiss-swollen lip, drawing a few throaty moans from Clarke before she pulled away again. She did laugh when Clarke’s pouty lip returned though, and she just shook her head as she shifted her weight to sit up between Clarke’s thighs. Her knot shifted too, and Lexa thought she might come just from the way Clarke clenched and moaned at the sensation. She had been mostly trying to ignore the way her length pounded with pressure, but it throbbed in earnest with the sudden change in compression, and she barely managed to stave off embarrassing herself. She concentrated on her body’s other needs instead. Her leg cramp probably had something to do with the fact that she hadn’t had enough water, and if they were just beginning their marathon, she figured it couldn’t hurt to down some water before she sweated out any more.

Leaning over to the nightstand, she grabbed one of the two bottles she’d gotten earlier. Of course, the movement caused her to shift inside Clarke’s warmth again, but this time Lexa noticed a little more slippage than she expected. Her knot certainly hadn’t gone down, that was for sure; if anything, she was harder than she had been when her knot had first popped. It didn’t take long to figure what the difference was though; the amount of wetness that had been slicking the insides of Clarke’s thighs had doubled in the last couple of minutes. Apparently, Clarke thought she was a good kisser, especially if her flooded sex was any indication. Lexa smiled at the unspoken compliment as she righted herself. Clarke was watching her with a perplexed sort of stare, one that Lexa thought was too cute to be real, but she tried not to let it distract her though, striving to not spill her water all over Clarke as she took the first sip of the very full water bottle. She managed but barely, Clarke squirming underneath her at her first swallow, causing her to gasp and nearly choke as the next gulp filled her mouth. She got that one down though, and another, and another, until she’d finished nearly half the bottle.

She looked back down at Clarke then, and what she saw amazed her. Clarke’s head was tilted back, her mouth was open, and her tongue was rolling in soft waves inside her mouth. It was lewd, almost to the point of being pornographic, but despite herself, Lexa couldn’t help thinking about what it would be like to sink her length down into Clarke’s throat and fill her that way too. She knew that was kind of like wanting to have her cake and eat it too. The image flashed through her mind anyway, so fast she couldn’t do anything but groan as her length twitched and jerked, threatening to release again just at the thought.

Rationally, Lexa knew Clarke wanted some water though, and somehow, she found the willpower to reach down and pull Clarke up by the back of the neck. Clarke didn’t move to take the water from her though, sinking back into her hold, so she tipped the bottle to the side of Clarke’s mouth. She watched as the muscles of Clarke’s throat moved, eyes drifting over to the darkened mark on the side. It looked so beautiful; Clarke looked so, so beautiful. She continued to cup the nape of Clarke’s neck, even well after Clarke had had her fill of the water. Lexa enjoyed the feel of Clarke’s pulse pounding beneath her fingertips too much to let her go. When Clarke started to sink back towards the bed, Lexa went with her, settling in on top of Clarke’s soft curves. When she felt her knot pull against Clarke’s entrance, she choked down a gasp, but it seemed Clarke enjoyed the movement too, as a husky, broken, “Pl-ea-se,” filling the room.

Whirring unhappily, Lexa could hear the almost disappointed tone to Clarke’s voice, and she quickly whispered, “ok…ok,” as shifted up onto her elbows. Ever careful, she thoroughly tested her range of motion then, shifting back and forth, and side to side. Clarke arched and hissed beneath her, but Lexa made mental notes of every time she felt Clarke wince or flinch. One thing led to another, the way it usually does though, and it wasn’t long before they were both panting into each other’s mouths and rocking into each other again. Lexa kept their pace solid as she met the pitching of Clarke’s hips, roll for roll. She could feel Clarke’s walls tightening with each wave, like a ratcheting vise, pulsing with every push forward. Her length throbbed with fullness too, the base pulsing like it had its own heartbeat. She felt Clarke tip over the edge first, but Lexa was not far behind, filling Clarke to the point where she could feel Clarke’s belly swell against her own. ‘At this rate, we’re gonna be tied for the rest of our lives,’ she thought then, sighing as she felt Clarke’s hands grip in her hair. Her lips were captured in an overwhelmingly affectionate kiss and she smiled into it, because immediately following that thought there was another; a significantly more attractive one, ‘And, I wouldn’t mind that in the slightest.’


	13. The Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it feels like I haven't posted in forever, and I'm sorry about that wait, but here's chapter 13... Enjoy!!!

The next day at work, Anya could barely concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time without thinking about Octavia and their date that night. Despite some lingering concerns about what Octavia was expecting from her anatomy wise, Anya had played it cool on the phone with her the night before, cracking little jokes and flirting like it was her job, but by mid-morning she couldn’t shake the looming worry that their evening wasn’t going to end well. She wasn’t worried about the food or the service at the restaurant, or the transportation to and from; she wasn’t even worried about what to wear. What she couldn’t help agonizing over was, what were Octavia’s expectations for their evening, and what might come after. Would she want a second date? Or a third? Would they be living together in a year? Bonded in three? She knew she was getting ahead of herself, but that didn’t stop her from thinking about that stuff anyway.

In her previous relationships, if she could even call them that, Anya had always been proud of her talent for straightforward communication, especially when it involved things like expectations and consent. With Octavia though, she felt like there was this energy that was disrupting her usual flow. Maybe it was Octavia’s age, or maybe it was the way she smelled, or maybe it was something more primal than that; Anya couldn’t really be sure what had her in such a way. She felt a little bit like a live wire, arching against the ground right before the power shorts out. She felt like if she fucked things up with Octavia, she’d be missing out on something big.

It wasn’t like she thought she’d have any trouble _performing_ , as it were. She was well versed in learning how to fulfill a perspective partner’s sexual needs. Years of experience had taught her how to be dominant and aggressive, and honestly that was how she liked it best, but she’d also learned how to take a more reciprocal approach to getting what she wanted too. Despite all that experience though, there she was, worrying like some skittish, horny teenager, nervous about what she should and shouldn’t say, how she should and shouldn’t act, if she should or shouldn’t initiate. Truthfully, what worried her even more, was that she was so worried in the first place.

Normally, she would just take what she wanted and move on, but she couldn’t deny that she already felt possessive over Octavia, and what was most nerve-wracking about that, was how natural that feeling felt. For the first time in her life, she actually wanted someone for more than just one night, or even a couple of nights; she just wanted Octavia, no time frame, no stipulations. Anya _wanted_ Octavia. Facing that thought down took time, but eventually she realized that having sex with Octavia already meant more to her than anyone else she’d ever fucked, and they hadn’t even been on their date yet. ‘Sleeping with Octavia won’t just be fucking,’ she’d thought, more than once during her morning duty rotation, and she would never admit it, probably even if asked directly, but she was scared of what that meant. She’d been on her own for so long that she wasn’t sure she knew how to be part of a pair, but she thought she owed it to herself, and to Octavia, to try.

To top it all off, the constant worrying was making her work day drag on and on, making Anya more and more tired as her shift went on. By the time her lunch break rolled around, she was so distracted, and weary from that distraction, that at first, she didn’t even notice the person standing next to her in the cafeteria line, until a sudden contact against her elbow brought her back to reality just in time to hear, “Anya, you ok?”

She snapped her head around at the intrusion into her thoughts and a brief, low snarl slipped from between her lips. She winced though, as she took in Abby’s retreating form, her friend taking a quick step back, and raising her hands in deference. Anya quickly recovered her senses though, and apologized, “I’m sorry, Abby. I didn’t… I’m just a bit distracted today.”

Abby’s light chuckle was a little unsettled, and that made Anya feel worse, but thankfully, Abby brushed past the awkwardness and said, “Yeah, I see can that. You, uh…” Abby’s voice trailed off as she glanced around briefly before bringing her gaze back to Anya and continuing, quieter than before, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Smiling, Anya appreciated Abby’s attempt at discretion. It seemed her friend knew that appearing weak in front of her co-workers, and patients and their families, wasn’t the best idea for someone in her line of work. She knew she needed to talk to someone though, because internalizing her feelings wasn’t a good idea either. It would probably just end up driving her crazy; well, crazier than she already was. She nodded her answer and was glad when Abby let it go, at least for the moment. When they exited the line together a minute or two later, both with trays of food in hand, Anya led Abby outside to a table in the corner of the adjoining courtyard. Only once they were settled, did Anya glance around, and feeling like they had as much privacy as they were going to get, she finally said, “I have a date tonight, with Octavia, from the club the other night… and I hate to admit it but I’m kinda nervous.” She chose that moment to stuff a large bite of her sandwich into her mouth, essentially silencing herself before she could start rambling, because that was something she simply didn’t do.

Feeling a little relieved already, she smiled again when Abby simply nodded understandingly and smiled herself as she replied, “Yeah, I know how you feel. I’m seeing Raven tonight after my last appointment.”

Thankful for a moment of distraction, from her own distractions, Anya wiggled her eyebrows at her friend as she coyly replied, “Oh, yeah? So, you’re going for it?”

“We’re going to have dinner and talk,” Abby replied in a quick huff, but Anya noticed how tense Abby had become and decided to try to lighten the mood.

“Well, well, I didn’t know that ‘talking’ was what the cool kids were calling it these days,” she crooned, adding a sly wink at the end.

That backfired though, when Abby angrily blurted out, “Really Anya? That’s what you’re going with. Not like I’m not insecure enough about the age difference anyway. Thanks…”

Anya was sure she looked like she’d been slapped in the face then, because Abby’s words stung as if she been struck. She had her own issues with age though, so she tried to sound reassuring as she said, “Come on, Abby… You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’ve got a quite a few years on Octavia too…”

Wincing slightly at the reminder of Octavia’s youth, and subsequent inexperience, Anya almost let herself get wrapped up in her worries all over again, but then she saw Abby visibly slump down in her chair. Abby was obviously on the edge of some great precipice and Anya knew that she needed to back off, or Abby might jump. She tried to think of some way to help dispel some her friend’s nervousness, not just make their conversation all about herself, but Abby beat her to that though, quickly saying, “I’m— I’m sorry, Anya. I didn’t mean to… This conversation isn’t about me. Is the age thing what you’re worried about with Octavia?”

Hesitating for moment, Anya wrung her hands together under the table as she tried to decide how to proceed. With how tense Abby still was, Anya didn’t think she was really the ideal person for this conversation, but Anya didn’t have a lot of other options either. If she was going to figure things out, get it all off her chest, she knew she needed to just plunge forward and hope for the best. Without another thought she quickly said, “It’s not just that… I mean, am I worried about being ten years older than her? Yes, but it’s how she makes me feel that really has me nervous.” She sighed when she met Abby’s understanding smile, but kept going, “I am almost always the dominant partner in my, uh, relationships, but I don’t want that kind of relationship with Octavia… I just feel _possessive_ of her, you know?”

Suddenly realizing she’d revealed far more than she meant to with that, Anya shoved another bite of food in her mouth, cursing herself for speaking without thinking. When Abby reached across the table and laid a hand over her own slightly shaky wrist though, she couldn’t help but feel comfort from the contact. Abby wasn’t laughing at her or shunning her for being scared, even of something as seemingly trivial as her feelings. Instead, Abby was offering her the silent support she needed to continue, so she did, saying softly, “I think I want her to be mine someday, Abby, and that scares me, because what if she doesn’t want that, or worse… What if I end up driving her away?”

Her words lingered in the air for a few moments and she began to worry she’d said too much again, but then Abby finally replied, “Anya, if she likes you, then she does, but if she doesn’t, she doesn’t… Either way, it’s best not to worry about things you can’t change.” There was a strange sort of comfort to her friend’s words, something Anya hadn’t been expecting; an acknowledgement of fate, maybe. However, she knew that, while that acceptance seemed easy then, she wouldn’t be so calm if she ever found herself facing a rejection of her feelings. Abby seemed to read her mind though, as she added, “Think about it this way… If you let yourself, you can the best of both worlds, soft and hard; solid, but fluid… I mean, isn’t that what all the young kids are into these days?”

Anya replied with a harsh chuckle and a simple, “Touché, touché,” because despite the fact that Abby’s words were intended to bring some levity to the situation, the notion did deserve some thought. Anya could be both, the sensitive person and the dominant alpha, the caring friend and the passionate lover; a partner instead of just a _partner_. She just needed to wait and see where Octavia would draw that line for her.

Her jitters came and went after that. Eventually, Abby came and went too; off to check her email and hopefully do some paperwork before her afternoon appointments. Anya spent the rest of her long lunch break wishing she could just go back to work. At least, she felt better-equipped to deal with the stress of her job than she did the rest of her life. Her job was easy in comparison; well, it had been before she’d pissed off her boss. Byrne hadn’t said anything to her directly about her ‘insubordinate’ behavior. Anya was grateful for avoiding that discussion, but she still felt like her boss was intentionally seeking her out for the tougher assignments, most often sending her on the Intensive Care Unit and Emergency Room patrols.

The ER rotation was always like herding cats; angry, injured cats. People were in and out of everywhere all the time. Sometimes, it was a struggle just to keep a head count and make sure they weren’t over occupational capacity. Not to mention the stress and emotions and adrenaline always running high too, to the point where Anya wasn’t sure she could remember a single shift she’d had in the ER where there wasn’t at least one fist fight. Breaking up those fights was probably the highlight of those shifts though. Even as fun as that sounds, Anya knew from personal experience that catching a sucker punch with her ribs was far from fun.

If only the ER shifts were the worst though. Patrolling the ICU had all the same stresses as the ER, people everywhere and emotions running amok, but the fact that people were dying all around her always made Anya feel even more uneasy. Throw in, a knock-down, drag-out fight between two sisters arguing over their mother’s last will and testament, or an outlandish death bed revelation that could make a son turn against his father, and Anya really thought she might actually be in Hell sometimes. That was what she had to look forward to for her afternoon. The only thing that made it bearable was thinking about Octavia and what their evening might bring. Honestly, Octavia was the only other thing she could think about; that is, until she got a call over her radio, telling her report to Abby’s office. She didn’t have any idea what could be happening, but with fifteen minutes left on her shift, she hoped whatever it was wouldn’t take long.

 

~~~

 

When Octavia showed up at the shop, with two iced coffees in her hands, Raven was overjoyed. She was happy to see her friend, but honestly, she was just as excited about the coffee. She’d slept like a kid on Christmas the night before, waking up every hour or so, just to see if it was time to get up. The restless night had left her tired before she’d even gotten to the shop though, and by lunch, she felt like she’d rather nap than work. She couldn’t concentrate very well either, having spent most of the day working on that same blue clunker she’d been working on the day before. Even still, she wasn’t finished with it, but she decided that Octavia’s surprise visit was a more than good enough reason to take a break. If the coffee didn’t help her get her mojo back, maybe taking a few minutes to sit and chat with Octavia would do the trick instead.

They made their way to the breakroom then, Raven in front, with Octavia chatting happily behind her, telling her all about a new massage technique she had learned about in class. Raven listened; well, she tried to listen at least. Admittedly, she’d been distracted all day, so why should she be surprised when her thoughts drifted. Abby had been the only thing she’d been able to focus on since she woke up. Every time she thought about Abby though, she couldn’t help but check her phone. Each time, when she found no messages waiting, not from Abby or anyone else, she was relieved, but still she felt like it was just a stay in her execution. No message from Abby meant she wasn’t chickening out, wasn’t canceling their dinner, not yet anyway. She felt that urge to check her phone again, even though she’d just looked before Octavia came in. She moved to pull it out of her pocket, because she couldn’t not, but that was a mistake. In her distraction, she wasn’t really looking where she was going anyway, and then add taking herself off-balance to reach into her back pocket for her phone. It was a bad combination, especially when she walked right into the breakroom table, banging her bad hip against the corner. She could feel herself toppling over before she even realized it, but luckily for her, Octavia had superior reflexes. Octavia’s hand grasped around her wrist at the last second, and Raven managed to stay upright, using her own hands to steady herself against the table surface.

Embarrassed, Raven sputtered a quick apology, blushing as she turned herself into the seat right in front of her. Her hip was doing that weird throbbing thing it did sometimes, and she was sure she was going to have a bruise later, but she tried to breathe through it. Octavia settled in across from her, and Raven sighed when she realized that her clumsiness hadn’t cost either of them their coffees. She gratefully accepted hers when Octavia slid it across to her, and she took a sip before she said, “I’ve been like this all day, O. I just… I can’t stop thinking about Abby… I’m really sorry. I was trying to pay attention, I promise.”

Octavia just smiled at her, and the warmth of it made Raven feel a little better. Octavia’s next words took her one step further too, as she said, “Don’t worry about it, Rae. I get it. I definitely didn’t trip on my way into the coffee shop because I was daydreaming about my dinner date with Anya later.”

Raven’s ears perked up at that, because Octavia was one of the more graceful people she knew, so that combined with the dreamy tone in Octavia’s voice, and Raven knew there was something big going on there. She couldn’t help pointing that out either. “Yeah, you gonna let Anya explore your nebula tonight?” Raven asked coyly, laughing when a telling blush flushed hot across Octavia’s cheeks. “I’ll take that as a yes then,” she added, poking her friend’s arm like it was a pat on the back.

It surprised Raven though, when Octavia shored herself up in her seat and said, “You know, I just might, but, uh, if not tonight, definitely tomorrow night. I mean, I’ll have a bunch of excuses to get her naked tomorrow night.”

Octavia’s eyes glass over, and it was obvious Octavia’s imagination was running away with her. Seemingly unaware, Octavia groaned, and Raven could barely contain herself. The fact that Octavia thought she needed an excuse was funny, but the little frustrated noise was almost too much. She swallowed as she got herself together, before eventually asking, “You know you don’t really need an excuse to see her naked, right?”

Octavia’s glazed eyes darted up to meet Raven’s again, and the look on Octavia’s face spoke volumes. Raven almost felt bad for her, until she snapped, “Yeah, thanks buddy. I did know that…”

Her amusement finally broke through her resolve then, and Raven laughed hard as she barked, “Then, why are you being so extra?” She immediately regretted that though, because despite her friend trying to hide it, she noticed how Octavia flinched at her words. She cut herself off, trying to keep from upsetting Octavia further. When Octavia finally looked up at her again, Raven could swear Octavia was about to cry. She quickly reached across the table between them and grabbed Octavia’s hand, squeezing their fingers together as she said, “Hey, I’m sorry… you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to… but I’m here if you wanna talk about it, you know that, right? Sarcastic comments aside, anyway.”

Relieved when Octavia smiled, Raven gave her hand another little squeeze of reassurance. She watched as Octavia blinked away the tears that had welled up in her eyes. After a few moments, Octavia started to look more composed too, and Raven felt oddly proud when Octavia finally said, “I’ve just never felt like this about someone before. Anya’s all strong and dominant and possessive, and I didn’t think I’d ever want to be with someone like that. I’m way too independent for that, right? But… it’s like we just clicked, a switch got flipped or something… I liked it. I liked how possessive she was at the club the other night. It was so subtle sometimes, her hand barely resting on my waist or just pushing her scent out to cover all over me...” Raven rolled her eyes when she watched Octavia’s eyes glaze over again and she quickly snapped her fingers, rapidly bringing Octavia back to reality. She couldn’t help smiling as Octavia sputtered as she continued on, “B-b-but when she… she willed Lincoln down over me… I. loved. it. And now I— I’m just having a hard time dealing with that… that might I want to be somebody else’s… or maybe, it’s that I just might want to be hers…”

Octavia’s words trailed off, and she looked utterly defeated as she sagged back in her chair. Raven really felt bad for her then. She knew the realization that instincts matter, even though you’ve been taught to ignore and suppress them your whole life, was a big one. Raven thought she knew just what to say to put some of Octavia’s fears to rest though. “Look, O, I know this is a big deal for you,” she started, but when Octavia’s eyes shot up to meet her own again, Raven immediately backpedaled, “And… it is a big deal, in general, but… Listen, I had a teacher once who said, ‘Enjoying life is about balance…’ And, it’s scary, but part of that balance may be having someone else who balances you.”

Obviously, some of Raven’s words were resonating though, as Octavia’s scowl became more of a frown instead. It was an improvement at least; Raven would take Confused Octavia over Angry Octavia any day. That confusion became even more clear when Octavia simply replied, “And what, you think Anya might be that balance?”

Quickly shrugging, Raven only had to think for a second before she said, “Well… she respected you enough to stand by while you took on those three guys the other night. She might be possessive and dominant and all that, but she’s obviously not just some dumb knothead, either… It seems to me like she might actually care about what you think, instead of just about how you smell, so I say give her a chance and see.”

Octavia’s quiet laugh was still a little nervous, but Raven was surprised when she huskily said, “Yeah, you’re right. She’s definitely not just some knothead.” Raven smiled when Octavia gave her hand squeeze that time, and added a hushed, “Thanks, Rae. I, uh, I think I needed to hear that. I’m like… so far ahead of what Anya and I actually are anyway… I mean, we’re just starting out, right?”

Nodding, Raven smirked as she replied, “You’re right, O, and you’re welcome, too. You know, I just love sharing all my vast wisdom and experience with others.” She laughed when Octavia huffed at her, rudely sticking her tongue out. She loved it when Octavia got really childish in their bickering and teasing. She gave as good as she got too, sticking her thumb up under her nose and waggling her other fingers out like a flag. She made a disgusted sort of face to go with the crude gesture, but when Octavia just huffed again and looked away though, she barked, “Hey! Don’t hate, I’m awesome and you know it.”

It seemed Octavia still wasn’t quite feeling the love, as she automatically replied, “Yeah, yeah…” but then Raven heard her mutter under her breath, “you’re something, that’s for sure.”

Raven chose not to say anything about it though, smiling instead as she said, “That’s right… What would you do without me?” She threw her arms wide in invitation then, and Octavia shook her head, even as she rose from her seat and crawled up into Raven’s chair with her. They settled in with Octavia mostly sitting on her good leg, Octavia’s arms hugged tight around her shoulders. Raven just wrapped her arms around Octavia too, and squeezed her right back.

They sat quietly for a few minutes then, just enjoying the moment together, and Raven found herself milling over how they had ended up becoming friend’s in the first place. Their shared ‘abandonment’ was something that had bonded them; all three of them actually, Clarke included. Unlike Octavia and Clarke though, Raven hadn’t had an older brother to rescue her, hadn’t had another parent to keep her safe. When Raven had finally gotten out of the hospital after her ‘accident,’ she had instantly become a ward of the state. Her mom just never came to get her from the hospital, and Raven didn’t tell anyone to call her. Her mom was probably too drunk or high, or strung out and looking for her next fix, to even be able to find the phone to begin with.

Luckily, Raven only spent about six months foster home hopping, before she met Wick. He was only a little older, but he’d been on his own longer; had an apartment and everything. When he had offered for her to stay at his place the first time, Raven had immediately turned him down, thinking he’d meant for her to _stay_ _with him_. Wick was persistent though, eventually explaining that he was offering her place on his couch if she wanted it. He said he could get her a job at the car repair shop where he worked too. So, it wasn’t like Raven had used him or anything; he had offered to help, and only after much convincing had she actually accepted.

At one point, a few months after she had moved in, she suspected he wanted more from her, but Raven knew they’d never be more than friends. She’d tried to let him down easy about it, mostly because Kyle Wick was more puppy than wolf, with his goofy grin and soft eyes. She didn’t have the heart to hurt him, and if they got involved, he would surely get hurt. He took it really well at least, saying, “I get it… You’re just into me that way, but even if you don’t like me the way I like you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still think you’re awesome.” He’d made a few jealous grumblings when she started dating Finn about six months after that, but they didn’t last long. She had stayed with Wick for another two and half years after that, until she had gotten her G.E.D. and had saved up a fair amount of money. It probably should have raised some alarms when Finn didn’t ask her to move in with him, but she liked the idea of living alone too much to really think too much about it; at least, at the time.

It took a while to find the right place for her too; somewhere with an elevator, but that still wasn’t above the third floor, and with enough space for her to live in. She’d originally rented the small three-bedroom place with the intention of working on projects at home. She thought she could probably make a little money on the side turning other people’s junk into stuff she could sell. Of course, that idea didn’t get very far because maybe six months after moving in, she’d met Clarke. Well, more like, she’d stormed into Finn’s apartment, needing answers to some very important questions, and found Clarke sitting on his couch. It turned out Finn was Clarke’s boyfriend… Too bad, he’d told Raven the same thing. After that little tidbit got out in the open, Clarke suddenly found herself needing a cheap place to stay for a while, and Raven hadn’t hesitated. So, what if it was a little awkward living with ‘the other woman,’ it served Finn right to lose them both, and as it turned out, raven got a lifelong friend out of the deal.

Maybe a year or so into living with Clarke, Bellamy got hired on at the shop. Raven wasn’t sure why because he didn’t have a lot of experience working on cars, but it turned out he could drive anything on wheels. It had been Raven’s job to train him then, since she was the better mechanic between herself and Wick; a fact that she didn’t often let him forget. Bellamy seemed like a good guy too; a little puffed up and arrogant, but after third time he put a car back together wrong, he was at least self-aware enough to ask for help on the next one.

Probably two weeks after that, a young brunette woman came blowing into the shop, a big duffle bag slung over each shoulder. Raven remembered thinking that maybe the young omega was Bellamy’s girlfriend, but then they both turned towards her. The family resemblance was undeniable; the girl had to be Bellamy’s sister. She and Octavia became fast friends after that, and it wasn’t long before Raven figured that Octavia was living on her brother’s couch. She knew Octavia had it hard enough, trying to go to school and training all the time, and trying to have a life at the same time. Not having any privacy surely wasn’t helping with that either, Raven didn’t hesitate then either. Octavia needed a room, and it just so happened that Raven had an extra one. It didn’t take much to talk Clarke into it either, and before she knew it, Raven had two roommates instead of one. She smiled as she thought, ‘And now, here we are nearly three years later...’

It was a nice just taking a moment to remember, but eventually, reality set back in and Raven couldn’t help but squirming a little under Octavia’s weight. She shifted her hip on her bad side, trying to work out the stiffness that was beginning to creep into the joint. Octavia seemed to take the hint and squeezed her for just one more second before she extracted herself from Raven’s lap. Raven sighed gratefully and stood, immediately widening her stance and stretching out her hip as best she could. Octavia started to say something but clammed up pretty quickly and Raven just laughed as she said, “I’m ok, O. Just a little stiff… I know you’re just dying to try out that knew massage technique, but I think I’ll pass.” Octavia’s mouth dropped open in confusion and Raven smiled brightly as she added, “Yes, I did hear and retain some of the things you said earlier.”

Octavia let her head dip down a little, obviously embarrassed, but Raven found herself smirking as Octavia shyly said, “Well, actually, I was really hoping to use it on Anya first, but if you want a rub down later on, that can be arranged.” Teasing, Raven faked a gag, and when Octavia swatted at her playfully again, Raven knew their tender moment was truly over. That was alright by Raven, and it seemed like Octavia was ready to move on too, when she asked, “So, are you looking forward to having the place to yourself tonight, or what?”

Raven’s eyes went a little wide at that, realizing that she hadn’t actually told Octavia about her own date for the evening. She hoped Octavia wouldn’t freak out, but she felt like that was sort of inevitable. Eventually, she donned a similarly sheepish look and said, “Well, about that… I, uh, I have a thing tonight too… well, a sort of, date, thing.” She was stumbling hard, but she knew she need to just rip the band-aid off, so she just blurted it out, “Abby’s coming to pick me up at 8:30!”

Not even a second later, Octavia’s nostrils flared, and she barked back, “You! You let me go on and on about my little bullshit problems and you had this big thing to tell me this whole time?!”

Feeling thoroughly scolded, Raven just shook her head, and replied, “O, your problems are not ‘little bullshit anything,’ ok? Abby and I… It’s not a big deal… we’re just gonna talk some more.” Octavia’s haughty, expectant expression told Raven that she wasn’t off the hook though, so she quickly added, “I texted her last night, to tell her I was ok, but instead of texting me back, she called. We only talked for a few minutes, but when I… when I told her that I wanted to try, she said she wanted to try, too. So, we’re gonna try, I guess… whatever that means.”

Trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal didn’t really work out though. Octavia was way too perceptive for that, and Raven knew instantly that Octavia could see right through her. Humor and sarcasm were her natural reactions to vulnerability; a defense mechanism she used to keep herself shored up. She was a little surprised when Octavia didn’t immediately call her on her bullshit, Octavia simply smiling as she said, “I’m very happy for you, Rae.” The backlash wasn’t far behind though, when Octavia quickly followed that with, “But, part of your conversation tonight has to include Clarke. The deeper you guys get, the harder it will be to tell her. I hate to say it, but I won’t let this drag out into some big secret that blows up our faces. You guys will tell her if you decide to really try anything, or I will. I’m not going to lose Clarke over this… and, before you try to argue that, you know that me knowing before she did, is gonna be hard for her to get over.”

Nodding her head through Octavia’s entire speech, Raven expected every word. It wasn’t until Octavia paused to take in a quick breath, that Raven finally broke in, saying, “Yes, O. I promise. One of the first things on my list… talking to her about what being together would mean to Clarke. I’m sure it’s probably at the top of Abby’s list too.”

Octavia’s little confused look only lasted for a second before she asked, “Wait? One of the first things? Well, what’s first then?”

Answer already ready, Raven smiled as she said, “Oh, that’s easy. First thing I’m doing when she gets here is kissing her. I regret not doing it Saturday night, and I’m not letting that opportunity pass me by again.” Several times over the last few hours, Raven had thought about the moment when Abby showed up to pick her up. Most her fantasies ended with them making it to dinner, but she couldn’t deny that she’d thought about just pulling Abby inside the shop and spending the rest of their evening getting to _know_ each other better. She shook herself as those images invaded her mind again, trying to push them away. There was no reason to get her hopes up, not yet anyway. The truth was, she wasn’t sure Abby would be freaked by the kiss or not, but Raven wanted that goodnight kiss she should have gotten at the club; even if it was the only one she ever got.

It seemed like Octavia was little too shocked to respond at first, but when she finally laughed softly and looked down, Raven wasn’t sure what was going on. Octavia looked like she was trying to figure out what to say, but then Raven noticed her subtly check her watch. Of course, Raven knew exactly what Octavia was thinking then, calculating how much time she had before her own date. Octavia shifted slightly, and Raven followed her with her eyes, smirking at her friend as she said, “Go on, and good luck tonight, O. No matter what happens, remember you can call me if you need me…”

Octavia’s lips pursed in irritation, but that only made Raven smile harder at her. She nearly lost it when Octavia replied, “Don’t worry, Rae, I think I can get through one night without you.” The snarky, hitched tone was too much for Raven though, and after only a moment, she was clutching her sides, gasping in laughter. She barely heard Octavia’s huffed addition, “Ugh, I love you, Rae… just— just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Sounds good, O! Be safe?!” Raven barked, barely clamping down over her laughter enough to sound sincere.

As Octavia made her way towards the door, Raven thought her grumpy nod was markedly less sincere, but that could have something to do with the fact that Octavia was flipping Raven off too. Raven didn’t let it slow her down though, calling out after her, “Love you too, O… Love you too…”


	14. The Dive

Going to see Raven had been one of the best, and worst, decisions Octavia had made that day. Best, because she had really needed the pep talk, but also the worst, because she only had about an hour to get ready before Anya came to pick her up. Normally, an hour would be plenty of time too, but after a shower and a little time fussing over her hair, she was just slipping her leggings on under her sundress, when there was a knock at the door. She muttered curses under her breath as she hustled to back to the bathroom to grab her phone. She winced at the two missed messages from Anya, and thought, ‘Well, if that’s her at the door, at least she’s right on time.’ Glancing in the mirror for just another second, she instantly cursed herself for not having had the forethought to put on make-up before she got dressed. There was nothing she could do about that though, not with Anya waiting out in the hall. She scrambled out of the bathroom then, and on down the hall, not wanting to leave Anya out there too long, especially after she hadn’t responded to Anya’s texts.

Fumbling for a moment with the deadbolt, Octavia was nearly panting by the time she got the door open, but then there was Anya, leaning casually against the doorframe, her phone in one hand and a motorcycle helmet tucked underneath her other arm. The quintessential, bad-girl look really suited her angular frame, making Octavia’s mouth water; a tight, white tank top, with a dark bra just showing from underneath, and an even tighter pair of black, leather pants. Those pants fit like they were tailored just for her, every muscle of Anya’s legs on display under the shiny material. To top it off, Anya had a black leather bomber jacket, zipped only high enough to frame her chest in the resulting V. In short, Anya was breathtaking, but it was the way Anya looked at her that really stole Octavia’s breath.

Hungry eyes took in every inch of her, and Octavia couldn’t do anything but stand there as a shiver of anticipation rocketed down her spine. Everywhere Anya’s eyes landed seemed to tingle, and before she knew it, Octavia was leaning closer, draw in by Anya’s scent swirling all around her. She managed to catch herself on the door frame, before she could actually fall over, glad her quick reflexes had saved her from embarrassing herself. Anya’s eyes widened at the movement though, and it was obvious that Anya was well aware of the effect she was having, but Octavia couldn’t help it. Every instinct was telling her to pull Anya close and never let her go. She didn’t though, not immediately anyway, but then Anya took a step towards her, and her resolve suddenly broke. She flew into Anya’s arms, barely noticing when Anya’s helmet crashed to the floor.

Anya’s hands met her hips, but they didn’t hold her away; they gripped and slid and pulled instead. In the blink of an eye, Octavia found her thighs wrapped tightly around Anya’s hips. She didn’t let go though, she simply clung to Anya harder as Anya shifted to accommodate her added weight. Her face ended up buried in against Anya’s neck, and from there Octavia became completely overcome by Anya’s scent. It was strong, full and solid; it smelled like _stability_. She buried her nose in closer when Anya huffed into her hair and spun them off the harsh edge of the doorframe. She easily followed the motion, let her leg kick out and close the door as they swirled. It was almost playful, twirling into the room, but Octavia gasped when she felt her back press against the door as it shut.

With their bodies so close together, Octavia felt her head spin. Sure, they had been pretty close on the dance floor the other night, but this was different. She could feel Anya’s warmth pressed firmly against her core, and she couldn’t stop herself from squeezing her thighs together in an effort to pull Anya even closer. The growl that erupted from Anya’s chest had Octavia instinctually rocking forward into Anya’s stomach and the hard muscles there felt like heaven. She suddenly realized she needed to get control over herself before they ended up skipping dinner entirely. Having Anya pressed against her like that definitely wasn’t helping. It seemed Anya felt her moment of hesitation though, and Octavia bit her lip to contain a whine when Anya pulled back and said, “O, that— that’s some way you’ve got about greeting guests.”

Despite the increased distance between them, Octavia shuddered as the huffed words tickled across her neck and collarbone anyway. She barely managed her own reply, as she breathed, “Not everyone g-gets this… this kind of hello…”

Gasping when Anya burrowed in up against her neck again, Octavia almost let the sensations overwhelm her, but she held it together. That is, until Anya whispered, right up against her ear, “Oh yeah? You saying I’m special?” The sound that escaped Octavia’s mouth then, it wasn’t even a word, more just a groaned, ‘unhuh.’ It seemed it was enough of an affirmative for Anya to take some initiative though. Anya’s lips moved down onto her neck then, nipping and sucking and kissing; not leaving marks, but Octavia could feel the tension in Anya’s frame, barely holding herself back. She sighed as Anya pressed in even closer then, nipping her way back up towards her ear. She was getting more wound up than a professional baseball pitcher who had just taken the mound. Her hips jogged forward against Anya stomach, involuntarily seeking more friction. The hard muscles there felt good, but she quickly realized that wasn’t enough; she wanted more. She whined, frustrated and squirming, but the resulting growl had her shivering and shaking in Anya’s arms. Anya tried to say something then, Octavia could hear her husky voice strained and rigid, but the words were so muffled, Octavia had no idea what Anya had said. The sad thing was, she didn’t even care; her entire world had narrowed to wherever Anya’s lips were touching her at the moment.

Feeling Anya’s teeth drag over her scent, Octavia’s head fell back, thumping loudly against the hollow door behind her. There wasn’t any pain though, every synapsis in her brain was too focused on the throbbing that was building between her thighs to notice anything else. Only the groan Anya huffed out as she pulled back brought Octavia’s mind reeling back to the moment. Octavia whined again, her eyes flashing open, searching for why Anya had pulled away. The concerned, panicked look she found on Anya’s face was her answer. She immediately realized Anya thought that she might have hurt her, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. The forcefulness was doing things to Octavia she didn’t even know could be done. Wanting nothing more than to ease Anya’s fears, Octavia leaned forward and nudged her nose against Anya’s, tipping her head up almost playfully. When their eyes met, she leaned in further, pressing a soft little kiss to Anya’s still shocked lips.

It seemed to do the trick however, because Anya pressed back in only a moment later, forcing her head back again. There was another thud, but this time, Octavia let out the groan she had stifled before, allowing herself to revel in the return of Eager Anya. At first, it was all tongue and teeth again, all passion and fire and lust, but eventually things slowed down. Anya’s kisses and nips felt just as passionate, but there was a tenderness to them that built the farther Anya’s lips traveled up along her jaw. By the time Anya’s lips reached her ear, all Octavia could feel was just the ghost of their heat. She was almost so dazed by the sensation that she nearly missed it when Anya whispered, “Hey,” against the shell of her ear.

Grunting in response, Octavia gripped onto Anya tighter with her arms, hoping to pull Anya’s lips back to her skin. Anya just chuckled against her ear before she pulled back yet again. Octavia wanted to snarl and growl and tell Anya to stop fooling around, but Anya’s hands running up and down her outer thighs brought her up short. Those weren’t the touches of someone trying to work her up but trying to calm her down. She wasn’t sure whether to be angry or pleased that Anya was slowing things down. Part of her, thought it was probably for the best. Banging up against her front door wasn’t exactly at the top of her list for her first time. Not that it was off the list completely, but she thought a little privacy would be nice too. The other part of her, the lower half, was _screaming_ for attention, anywhere, any way it could get it.

When their eyes finally met again, Octavia still wasn’t sure what to think, because the hungry darkness she found in Anya’s eyes was doing nothing to moderate her arousal. Her words didn’t help either, as Anya finally whispered, “Are you hungry?” Octavia couldn’t help the smirk that lit up her face at that, because, yes, she was hungry, but before things could get out of control again, Anya quickly clarified, “Do you still want to go to dinner?”

Octavia didn’t get a chance to answer though, because her stomach answered for her, making a loud, grumbling sound. She laughed, a little nervous, a little embarrassed and quickly buried her head in Anya’s shoulder. It was comforting hiding in the shadow created by Anya’s chiseled jaw. She breathed deep, taking in Anya’s scent, calming herself, and when Anya squeezed the backs of her thighs, Octavia knew what Anya was asking. She detached her ankles from around Anya’s hips, sighing as Anya took most of her weight in her arms. Anya slowly lowered her to floor, but she didn’t let go, and for that Octavia was glad. Her legs were so shaky that she thought she might fall if Anya let go of her hips.

The way Anya was looking down at her then, with so much reverence and tenderness, made Octavia want to kiss her all over again. Much to her chagrin, Anya took a step back, obviously trying to give her some breathing room. Anya overstepped though and ended up getting her foot caught in the chinstrap of her carelessly discarded motorcycle helmet. Anya was going down, but Octavia’s hands shot out on instinct, grabbing the lapels of Anya’s jacket and righting her with one quick jerk. For some reason, raven’s earlier words reverberated through the moment and Octavia couldn’t help laughing as she thought, ‘Yep… balance.’ Anya gave her a grateful, yet self-conscious look, but Octavia just laughed again, using her grip on Anya’s jacket to bring their lips together for one last kiss before she let her go. She stepped out around Anya then, needing to maintain a little distance so she could think. She only got a step or two away before she turned back and said, “So dinner… Can you give me a few minutes to finish getting ready?” Anya smiled in return and nodded, and Octavia motioned for her to follow as she made her way towards the living room. Once there, Octavia quickly gestured towards the couch and said, “You can wait in here if you want… or you can hang out with me in the bathroom while I finish putting on my face.”

Anya’s next stride brought her right up behind her though, and Octavia shivered as Anya nuzzled in against her jaw to purr into her ear, “I can’t see anything missing from your face from here.”

Laughing uneasily at the compliment, Octavia pulled away a little bit to turn her head to look at Anya. It was cute that Anya thought she would go on a date without at least a little makeup on. “Yeah, well, I’d at least like to throw on some eyeliner… You coming?” she asked as she nodded towards the hall that led to the bathroom, but when she started to take step away, Anya pulled her back.

Anya’s entire body was pressed against her back, and she gasped when Anya’s lips immediately found her scent gland, peppering kisses over it a couple of times before Anya whispered, “Not right this second… but probably later.”

Groaning as Anya’s pelvis shifted against her rear, Octavia clutched desperately at Anya’s hand as she replied, “De-definitely, not… not probably...” Anya’s hands flinching against her hips made Octavia feel oddly powerful, knowing that Anya was struggling to keep herself from tearing their clothes off. She rocked back into Anya then, only to use the momentum to rocket herself out of Anya’s embrace. Anya growled behind her, but Octavia practically skipped as she made her way down the hall toward the bathroom. If Anya was going to tease all night, Octavia thought, ‘Two can play that game.’

 

~~~

 

Anya would never admit it but leaning against the door frame, watching Octavia put on makeup felt oddly domestic. What surprised her though, was how natural and easy it felt, just spending time in Octavia’s space. It was only a few minutes, just a little powder and some eye liner, but Anya relished every second, chatting easily about work at the hospital, and listening intently when Octavia piped up with input of her own. It wasn’t an in-depth heart to heart or anything, but Anya felt herself being pulled in deeper and deeper with every word. Octavia was just so interesting, everything about her; how she could be playful and joking one second, but then completely serious the next, only to be laughing again two seconds later. She liked how Octavia seemed to have just the right thing to say sometimes, but then other times, she would be totally speechless, staring at Anya’s lips or hips or chest, obviously distracted by something she had said or done. It took a lot of willpower, but Anya didn’t exploit any of those little moments though. She ignored her instincts, even though they were screaming at her, telling her to just scoop Octavia up and deposit her on the vanity and pick up where they’d left off at the front door.

As they made their way back towards that infamous door, Anya sighed when Octavia said, “Hey?” from behind her. She turned back just in time for Octavia to push into her space, their lips meeting in a quick kiss. Octavia pulled away quickly though and added, “Just… wait for me by the door for a minute? One last thing I gotta do.”

Dutifully, Anya made her way to door and waited for Octavia to join her again, but after only a moment or two, she began to feel cagey. ‘What if she changed her mind?’ Anya thought as she stood in the entryway and tried not to fidget. She glanced around nervously but smiled when she found her helmet still lying on the floor. She couldn’t help but chuckle thinking about how it had gotten there; dropping it when Octavia had climbed her like a tree. She’d been so focused on Octavia that she’d almost ended up in the floor when she stumbled over it only a couple minutes later. Octavia had caught her though and pulled her in tight, saved her from an embarrassing and probably painful fall. That last kiss stuck out in her mind too, so full of promise and longing. It certainly didn’t seem like the kiss of someone who would have second thoughts. She didn’t get a chance to really puzzle over it though, because Octavia’s, “Hey! You ready to go?” broke her from her trance. She blinked a couple times, realizing she had no idea how long she’d been just staring at her helmet. She stooped immediately, picking it up, turning to Octavia as she rose up again.

The first thing Anya noticed was the addition of a leather jacket over Octavia’s sundress. It was a smart choice really, especially for the motorcycle, but there was another, more clever detail that had Anya smirking pridefully. Octavia had changed her mind, about one thing at least; her leggings. Anya was sure Octavia’s bottoms had been black before, but now they were a very dark shade of red. There could only be one thing that would make Octavia change her leggings like that. Of course, Anya had smelled it earlier, Octavia’s building arousal, but the fact that Octavia had felt compelled to change her pants, meant Octavia had probably ruined her underwear. Despite how proud that made her feel, Anya was suddenly glad she was still wearing her own jacket. She was certain that if she had actually felt Octavia’s arousal, she would have been hard-pressed to stop herself from taking Octavia right there up against that door. No matter how fun that would have been, that just wasn’t how she wanted things to go, at least not yet anyway. For once, she wanted to do things right, Octavia deserved at least that much.

Octavia giggled a little then, and Anya knew she’d been staring too long again, but she couldn’t help trailing her eyes over Octavia’s form one last time. The giddy grin she found on Octavia’s face told Anya that her more-than-once over was at least appreciated. She gestured for Octavia to join her as she finally said, “Ok, let’s go, O… before I end up ruining those leggings too.”

The hot blush that crept over Octavia’s cheeks was enough to tell Anya that she was right on the money, but she smiled as Octavia quietly admitted it anyway, “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

They walked arm in arm down the hall to the elevator, Octavia leaning into her side as they waited for the car to come. It was a quiet elevator ride down to the lobby too, but when they finally made it out to Anya’s bike, Octavia finally squeaked as she said, “I, uh, I’ve never ridden a motorcycle before.”

Anya just smiled at Octavia’s sudden nervousness and easily replied, “That’s ok. It’s pretty easy… well, riding is anyway. Don’t worry, I’ll walk you through it. First, you’ll need this, though.” She reached into the far side storage compartment and pulled out her spare helmet and offered it to Octavia. She straddled her bike as Octavia slipped the helmet to her head. When Octavia’s helmet looked settled correctly, Anya slipped hers on as well. She waited until Octavia opened the visor before she continued, “Ok, now, mount up.” Octavia giggled nervously at the insinuation, and Anya just shook her head as she thought, ‘Shit! Lexa was right. She is a giggler.’ She pressed on though, explaining with her hands as she spoke, “Step on this peg here, with your right foot, and then slide your left leg over the back of the seat. Use my shoulder for leverage, if you need.” Anya’s smile widened as Octavia mimicked her words with her body, into the open air, before finally stepping over toward the bike, obviously ready to try it for real.

Anya grinned as Octavia placed a delicate hand on her shoulder, and with an almost unnatural grace, mounted the bike. She heard Octavia giggle again as she settled in against her back. Anya could feel Octavia straddling her hips as well as the motorcycle, and she tried not to shiver as Octavia settled in against her. She peeked over her shoulder, trying to tamp down the fluttery feeling Octavia’s proximity and position was causing, but she still stumbled a little as she said, “Ok, so… some ground rules. Keep your feet on the foot pegs, so you don’t get caught up in any moving parts or get burned on the muffler. You’ll probably wanna gather up your dress a little too… just in case.” Anya paused, as Octavia shifted, gathering her dress into her hands, before wrapping her arms and the excess of her dress around Anya’s middle. The way the dress bunched between them left little to the imagination, as Octavia settled in against her again. She nearly groaned when Octavia’s core pressed more firmly against her backside. Again, Anya was thankful for the layer of leather between them. Swallowing hard, she continued, only a little more haltingly than before, “Good… Now, when you’re holding on, make sure… make sure to keep your arms low, around my hips, that way you’ll be able to match with m-my movements.” Octavia followed the instructions, crowding herself forward a bit further, taking a firmer grip around her hips, and Anya had to bite her lip to keep from groaning that time. She could feel Octavia’s warmth through her pants. It was almost too much, but she willed herself to continue though, because she knew the next part of her instructions was especially important. She tried to keep her voice even as she said, “OK, good, but this is rule number one. While you’re new to riding, and while I’m new to riding with you, I need you to match my body movements, specifically during turns, so we don’t get off balance.” Octavia craned up a little, giving her a kind of confused look and Anya readily explained, “You can look around, and even move around a little, when we’re going straight, but when we’re turning, keep your focus on the back of my neck and hold onto my hips; keep your body in line, and we’ll be fine.”

Snickering a little at the rhyme, Anya felt kind of proud of herself, but then Octavia sighed nervously and said, “So, uh, you’ve done this before, right? Ridden with a passenger?” Anya couldn’t stop the dirty smirk that spread over her lips, but Octavia just scowled and huffed out, “Come on, you know what I mean… Don’t be a knothead.”

Shaking her head playfully, Anya smiled as she replied, “I haven’t ridden with anyone else in a while, but I have done this before... Now, you think you’re ready?” Octavia nodded, and Anya smiled back at her. She felt Octavia’s grip around her hips tighten as she brought up the kick stand and cranked the bike. She easily held the bike’s weight, as well as Octavia’s, on one leg as it hummed to life. She glanced over her shoulder to tell Octavia one more little thing, quickly adding, “With our visors down, I won’t be able to hear very well, and neither will you. If you need to me stop, pat my thigh a couple times and I’ll get us off the road somewhere safe.” Octavia nodded one more time and reached up to shut her visor. Anya figured that meant she was ready, so off they went.

Too focused on the road, it wasn’t until they had pulled into to the parking garage that Anya finally chanced a glance over shoulder to try to gauge Octavia’s reaction to the ride. She was pleased to find Octavia’s face plastered with a wide smile. She silently cheered, glad Octavia had enjoyed it. Once she pulled the bike into a spot though, Octavia scrambled to extract herself from Anya and the bike, like she couldn’t get off fast enough. Anya simply held the bike steady though as Octavia threw her weight all over trying to get off the machine. Her sudden nerves disappeared when Octavia immediately and excitedly began jumping up and down. She put the kickstand down then, turning off the engine before sliding off the bike with ease. She pulled off her helmet, leaving it sitting on the seat as she started sidling over to Octavia. Octavia turned on her though, and before she knew it, Anya was quickly being enveloped in another full body hug. It was only another second before Octavia was practically shouting in her ear, “That Was Incredible!”

Proud of herself, Anya managed to not stagger under Octavia’s sudden weight. She simply hoisted Octavia up a little higher, as she said, “I— I’m glad you like it so much. You’re a natural, that’s for sure, but… I think your dismount could use a little work.”

Octavia bristled against her and Anya felt it when Octavia began to loosen her hold, lingering for only another moment before allowing herself to slide down Anya’s body. Anya shivered at the slow dragging contact, but Octavia’s stomach let out another loud rumble, interrupting their moment yet again. Anya merely laughed though, grabbing up Octavia’s helmet off the ground, and stowing it back in its storage compartment. She slipped her own into the opposing compartment and then turned back to Octavia. She smiled when Octavia took her hand and began leading her towards the stairwell at the front of the garage. It was down two flights, but when they finally exited the garage, Anya smiled again as she gestured down the block and said, “The restaurant’s just right down there.”

They walked down the block still hand in hand, and Anya was a little shocked at how naturally they fell into step together, especially given their height difference. They paused at the corner, waiting for the light to change so they could cross the street, and Anya sighed as Octavia pressed in against her side. She shivered though when she suddenly realized they were like two halves making whole; Octavia’s frame fitting so perfectly into her own. The feeling was elevating, like no matter how their date went they would at least have this moment. When the light changed, Anya wrapped an arm around Octavia’s waist, and she smiled when Octavia sighed and sank into the protective embrace.

Being ever the chivalrous type as well, as they approached the door, Anya hurried forward to open it for Octavia, sweeping her hand in front of her with a little bow. She knew she probably looked a little goofy, but Octavia’s toothy grin was definitely worth it. Having called ahead, Anya smirked as the hostess showed them to their secluded, corner table. She took Octavia’s jacket and hung over the back of one of the chairs, pulling it out for Octavia in the process. Anya could feel her confidence growing with every little smile or blush Octavia made. By the time she was seated in front of Octavia, she was sure she was grinning like a fool. Octavia met her eyes then, but only for a moment before their waiter approached the table.

Anya nodded, only half listening as he listed off the specials for the evening, eyes flicking back to Octavia’s profile every few seconds as he spoke. She appreciated the brevity of his list, as well as his efficiency with taking their drink orders; a red wine for Octavia and just a seltzer with lemon for her. He toddled off, without another word, and they sank into a moment of easy silence as they both looked over their menus. Anya decided quickly though and found herself watching Octavia again instead. The little wrinkle that had formed on Octavia’s forehead was probably the cutest thing Anya had ever seen. She wanted to reach across the table and brush her thumb over that creased skin, but she didn’t want to startle Octavia. She settled for just watching her, smiling when Octavia finally looked up and caught her staring. Octavia blushed and hid behind her menu again, but Anya just chuckled under her breath as she waited for Octavia to emerge again. When she finally did, the blush on her cheeks only heightened to find Anya still staring. Anya smiled sweetly, trying to reassure Octavia, but when she went to hide behind her menu yet again, Anya couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What? Am I not allowed to look at you?”

Octavia looked down then, obviously nervous, and Anya almost reached for her again when Octavia shook her head and sighed as she said, “Yeah, I mean, I guess… but do you— do you have to do it all at once?”

Laughing, Anya finally reached across the table then, taking Octavia’s hand into her own, trying to get her to look up again. Octavia’s eyes flashed up at the contact, and the heat Anya found in Octavia’s stare, bolstered her even further as she drawled, “Well, gorgeous, if you want us to be a thing, you’re gonna have to get used to my staring. When you’re looking at me like that, I can barely keep my hands off you; you can’t ask me to keep my eyes off you, too… That’s too much.”

Of course, the waiter would choose that moment to return with their drinks. Anya thought it was probably for the best though. She could tell from the deep blush in Octavia’s cheeks that she needed a minute to compose herself anyway. She turned her attention fully to the waiter as he politely excused the interruption and placed their glasses on the table. She only glanced back at Octavia for a moment to make sure she was ready to order, before ordering herself. The waiter was attentive as he scribbled down both their orders. He even double checked to make sure he had it all right before he scampered off towards the kitchen again.

With that, Anya knew it would be at least a few minutes before they were interrupted again, and she decided that it was as good a time as any to get a few questions out of the way. It wasn’t that she really wanted to disrupt their easy flirting with serious stuff, but there were things she needed to know before they got ahead of themselves again. She squeezed gently at Octavia’s hand, still clutched loosely in her own as she finally said, “I have some things I— I wanted to ask you, but I’m… I’m not sure where to start.” She wasn’t sure why she was suddenly so nervous, but when Octavia looked up at her, Anya felt herself stutter and stumble. Something about the look in Octavia’s eyes had her hesitant for her answers, not uneasy, just apprehensive.

The way Octavia was smiling at her didn’t help either, that oh-so-sweet grin bringing out the dimples in Octavia’s cheeks. Anya just wanted to forget her questions completely, but she knew they were things that needed to be said. She needed to know they were on the same page before she let herself get any more attached. She sighed in relief when Octavia finally spoke, encouraging her, “Just ask me, whatever it is, I promise to answer.”

Anya took in a deep breath, steadying herself with one last breath before she responded in a quiet, but rushed tone, “I guess I’m just wondering what you’re expecting… if you’ve, you know, been with a female alpha before?”

It was obvious Octavia was embarrassed by the question, her voice shaky as she replied, “I, uh… I’ve never been with anyone before.” To say Anya was shocked by that admission would be a gross understatement. She was floored, and before she could regain any kind of composure, Octavia added quietly, “I mean, I’ve been close a few times, but, uh, never got quite there, you know?”

Octavia’s voice was so soft by the end of her statement, Anya almost didn’t hear her. It also could have been the buzzing that began to cloud her mind when Octavia admitted her virginity. She couldn’t believe a young, beautiful omega like Octavia had never had anyone give her pleasure before. A sudden thought struck her, ‘Has she ever even had an orgasm?!’ Anya barely noticed the growl that erupted from her throat at the thought. Her mind immediately wandered, and she saw herself settling in between Octavia’s thighs and showing her every delicious moment of what an earth-shattering orgasm felt like. Her growl returned louder than before as she imagined the way Octavia’s thighs would shake and quiver as she grew close, then lock tight around her arm or the sides of her face; maybe someday, the sides of her hips.

Images of tight, wet heat filled her brain, but Anya still felt it though. Suddenly, a dozen sets of eyes fixed on her at once, instantly causing the hair on the back of her neck rise to the occasion. She shifted slightly as she glanced around, only to find the people at the surrounding three tables had turned to look over at them. At her attention, they all quickly returned to their meals or conversations, but tension lingered. Feeling thoroughly embarrassed, Anya had to swallow hard around a sip of her seltzer to control her urge to bolt right out of there. She usually had better sense than to growl and grumble in public, but something about Octavia made her feel like she was clinging to the edge of reason.

When she finally looked back at Octavia though, she realized Octavia was uncomfortable too. She watched as Octavia shifted slightly under her gaze, and Anya quickly understood she was the one making Octavia feel that way. She regretted her reaction even more then and tried to keep her voice even as she apologized, “I-I’m sorry.” She quickly glanced around at the surrounding tables again and noticing a few pair of eyes still drifting their way, she repeated herself, a little louder, “I’m sorry.” She saw a few barely-there nods, before everyone returned their eyes to their own tables. Knowing she hadn’t disturbed anyone’s meal too much, she turned her attention back to Octavia then, and quietly said, “I’m very sorry. I— I didn’t mean to react like that… I’m just shocked that’s all. I wouldn’t have expected a beautiful omega such as yourself to have never, uh, made love.”

The words didn’t make Octavia giggle, if anything she seemed more withdrawn as she sadly shook her head. Anya felt nothing but sympathy when Octavia whispered, “Like I said, I’ve been close a couple times… once with a beta boy and once with a-another omega girl. It’s just… I’ve never had much of a social life. To be totally honest, the last few years, I haven’t really done anything, except train and go to class and sleep, with only the occasional night out with Clarke or Raven.”

Knowing all that didn’t alleviate all of Anya’s worries though, and she swallowed hard before she asked, “Alright, then… can I— can I ask some more questions then?”

Feeling relieved, Anya smiled when Octavia gave her a soft laugh before she said, “ha… yeah. You can ask me anything, but you have to promise not to growl at me like that again?”

Nodding easily, Anya squeezed Octavia’s hand with her own, hoping to reassure her. She smiled when Octavia laced their fingers together. Just that simple gesture was enough to bolster her courage and she said, “Ok, well… I was worried that you’d think I’d have a, uh, you know… because I’m an alpha, but—” Understanding crossed over Octavia’s face and Anya smiled, glad she wouldn’t have to explicitly explain what she meant, so she pressed on, “But, you seem like you know the score there… So, I guess I’d like to know if you’ve ever actually had an orgasm before?”

Laughing nervously, Octavia teetered in her seat a little bit. The surrounding tables glanced back at them again, but this time Anya wasn’t going to cower. She thought, ‘These people need to mind their own business,’ as she snapped her gaze around at the onlookers. She smiled wickedly when every set of eyes she met immediately fell and looked away. Satisfied, she turned her attention back Octavia and smiled when Octavia quietly replied, “Anya, I’m a virgin, not a prude. I have been known to take care of myself in that department from time to time.”

Sighing, Anya felt half relieved, and half aroused. Hearing Octavia talk about pleasuring herself brought all sorts of new images to her mind, but she quickly tamped those down as well. They needed to get through this before she lost her nerve. She still wasn’t sure how to bring up her next question though, so she decided to just get it out, “D-do you know what phase-sensitive learning is? ‘Cause first times can be kind of intense, and, uh…” She let her voice trail off when she saw Octavia blushing furiously at that question. She could tell just from the look in Octavia’s eyes that she knew exactly what ‘phasing’ was; a rare type of bond, that generally left an alpha and omega mated, even if they barely knew each other. A first shared heat cycle was usually the trigger, but Anya had heard that phasing could occur outside the cycle too. She guessed trivial knowledge like that was one of the perks of working in a hospital, but in her situation, it was definitely working out for her benefit.

It took a couple of seconds for Octavia to compose herself, but Anya waited patiently, rubbing her thumb over the back of Octavia’s hand until she finally answered, if still a little shaky, “I-I do know what that means, yes, but the, uh, the chances of that happening are something like one in a ten thousand, right?”

Smiling, Anya appreciated Octavia’s reasoning, but she could tell the idea still made Octavia nervous. She tried to adopt a reassuring tone, hoping to cushion her next words a little bit, as she replied, “Octavia, one in ten thousand is still one in ten thousand. I mean, phasing generally only happens during first shared heat, but I just— I don’t want you to feel like you don’t have some control in this, in us, ever, ok?”

Relief swept through her when Octavia almost melted at the words. She watched as the building tension dropped from Octavia’s shoulders, a humorous laugh escaping her lips as she replied, “Are you really this sweet or are you just trying to get in my pants?”

Anya simply smirked at Octavia’s frankness and replied easily, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, babe… I’m just being me.” She paused for just a moment to let her words sink in, and her smirk widened when she noticed Octavia’s pupils dilate slightly. She leaned forward, and when Octavia responded in kind, she husked, “And, I see it’s working.”

 

~~~

 

Not long after that, their food arrived, and Octavia felt relieved to have something to concentrate other than Anya. She was truly enjoying spending time with her, but she wasn’t sure she had ever blushed this much in her whole life. Anya was just so charming, her little flirts always just skirting the edge of saying too much, without being the least bit offensive or inappropriate. She thought if Anya had continued on much longer, her face might actually become permanently flushed.

The food was delicious, both hers and Anya’s, Octavia sneaking a little taste of Anya’s moussaka when she wasn’t looking. The service was good too, attentive enough without being intruding, but still keeping Anya’s seltzer glass full and her wine glass topped up. It had felt really good just ordering her wine, being able to legally order it making her feel like a real adult. By the end of the meal though, she’d had probably two and a half glasses. It wasn’t so much that she was drunk, but she did feel warm and fuzzy all over. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if that was from the alcohol or just from being with Anya. She was a little surprised when she had to basically beg Anya to split a piece of baklava with her for dessert. It was a date after all, so why was Anya worrying about calories and empty sugars. It seemed like Anya was just trying to save herself from looking a glutton though, because Anya ended up eating much more than her half. Octavia certainly didn’t complain; watching Anya lick the excess honey from her fingers was well worth the sacrifice.

Finally feeling the wine, Octavia reluctantly excused herself to the bathroom, resolved to finish her business there quickly so she could get back to Anya. Of course, she’d have to wait though, finding two other people already waiting in line outside the restrooms when she arrived. She shuffled on her feet for a second, feeling a little out of place as she joined the back of the line. The man directly in front of her wasn’t that much older than Octavia herself, maybe thirty, but the woman in front of him was obviously well into her seventies. Octavia bit back a groan as one of the restrooms freed up and the older woman slowly tottered into the vacant restroom. She didn’t mean to be upset with the old woman. She knew that everyone gets old eventually, but as the man stepped up a bit, and she shuffled forward too, she couldn’t help feeling more and more awkward as the time ticked by.

The extra time standing there waiting, definitely wasn’t good for her bladder, but it was even worse for her psyche, as her mind started to wander. Every moment she’d gotten with Anya, at least so far, seemed like it had been meant to be. It seemed so natural too, feeling like some metaphysical force had drawn them together. They just jived, like they were on a wavelength all their own. Even with all that, she still couldn’t stop herself from wondering when she would cross a line or make a mistake and end up ruining things. It wasn’t like she had a ton of dating experience to draw from for reassurance. Actually, as she thought about it, she realized the only adult date she’d ever had, was the one she was on. That made her even more nervous, but as she continued to think back over the last couple of hours, she couldn’t find a single thing that she had messed up. Even her awkward bumbling and furious blushing had seemed right at the time. As for crossing lines, she realized that if jumping Anya first thing wasn’t crossing one, maybe Anya had very few lines that could be crossed. The door to her right opening startled her a little as she came back to the present, but she quickly shuffled forward again as the man in front of stepped inside the closing door.

She’d always thought the ‘dancing on one leg’ expression was rather crude, but as another woman joined the line behind her, she felt the overwhelming urge to squirm and cross her legs. She really shouldn’t have waited that long, but she hadn’t wanted to miss even a moment with Anya. Thankfully, the man from before, emerged for the restroom after only about a minute and Octavia grimaced as she slid inside, thoughtlessly gripping the door handle to pull the door closed. Her hand came away wet and for just a second Octavia thought she might puke. It was pure torture, but she stepped up to the sink and washed her hands before relieving herself, making sure to get every nook and cranny of her hands. The infuriating knowledge that someone really could be that gross distracted her a little, but she still barely made it onto the toilet without soiling herself. She stepped back up to the sink to wash her hands again when she was finished, because that’s what good, decent people do. She made sure to put several paper towels between herself and the door handle on the way out of the bathroom.

The idea of seeing Anya again quickly pushed thoughts of ‘gross guy’ out of her head though. She couldn’t help frowning as she made her way back across the restaurant, watching as Anya handed her credit card to the waiter, to pay the full bill. “You didn’t have to pay for my dinner, Anya,” she complained as she approached their table, catching the corner of a rueful smile on Anya’s lips as she scolded her.

“But, I did. That’s how it’s supposed to work right? The alpha pays for dinner?” Anya asked, rising from her seat at the table as she spoke. For just a moment, Octavia thought Anya might actually be serious, but when Anya finally looked up at her, Octavia could see the sparkle of mischief in her eyes.

Instead of a tirade about omega rights, Octavia launched into a different one instead, growling, “Still, you didn’t have to pay for my dinner. I have money too, you know? I’m not just a pretty face.”

She should have been expecting Anya’s interruption then, but she could only manage a look of shock as Anya stepped into her space and said, “Yeah, but it’s a such pretty face.”

Rolling her eyes, Octavia tried to hide the way that made her feel. Hearing someone say how pretty she was always made her uncomfortable. Maybe that was because she hadn’t always been the pretty girl, but rationalizing wasn’t going to stop the hot blush that started to creep across her cheeks anyway. “Is everything a line with you?” she asked finally, barely getting the words out before Anya was leaning in and kissing her.

“Not always,” Anya replied, Octavia feeling the words ghost across her lips, before Anya pulled back again to add, “Just when I with someone special… when I’m with you.” She felt her heart flutter at those words, her stomach following immediately after. She felt suddenly more nervous, worried that she wouldn’t measure up to Anya’s definition of ‘special’ when it came to taking things further. She knew Anya had experience, how could she not, with that body and those moves. Octavia knew she was leaps and bounds behind that kind of experience. What if she embarrassed herself somehow, or what if she made that mistake she’d been dreading so much? The last thing she wanted was to screw up their date, not when everything had gone so well so far. It seemed Anya could sense her sudden apprehension and slid a hand into her own as she tentatively asked, “Well, what now? Do you… do you wanna come over to my place? Or should I just take you home?”

Anya’s tender tone was everything then, Octavia realizing that Anya might feel just as nervous as she did. She understood then, that Anya meant exactly what she’d just said; she would drive Octavia home and kiss her goodnight and that would be that. But, _that_ wasn’t what Octavia wanted. She wanted to go home with Anya. She couldn’t help laughing about what Raven had said earlier; she did want Anya to explore her, and she wanted to see what kind of reactions she could pull from Anya’s body too. She just needed a way to tell Anya that. Figuring over her words for a moment, Octavia finally tried, “I’d love to see your place, if that’s ok? I, uh, I don’t know if Raven is gonna be home tonight, but I’d rather avoid that situation if I can.”

The look of confusion on Anya’s face wasn’t what Octavia expected, but she quickly understood as Anya said, “Octavia, I’m not asking where you’d like us to spend the night. I’m asking if you want to spend the night with me, or if you’d like to go home?”

Smiling at Anya’s obvious concern, her need for a balance between consent and control, Octavia simply, and excitedly, replied, “Please Anya, I’d very much like to go home _with you_.”


	15. The Late Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering what was going on with Clarke and Lexa, I'll just leave this here... Enjoy...

When Clarke woke up, one of her arms was tucked up underneath her at an awkward angle, but the other was stretched out over Lexa’s warm, solid waist. She felt sore and a few of her muscles were probably strained, but she quickly decided she liked it; it was a good kind of burn. She’d never felt like this after sex before. Granted, she’d never been through a full heat before either, but there was this feeling in her gut that told her, this heat was probably the best she was ever going to have. They had spent hours learning each other’s bodies, every little nook and cranny. Sometimes when Lexa was touching her, it felt like those fingers were pushing under her skin, down into her bones, burying themselves into her very marrow. They had spent more hours than Clarke could count coupled together, and during those times, Clarke felt Lexa get further and further under her skin. It was a somewhat vicious cycle too; Lexa rutting into her for what felt like an hour, until Clarke nearly passed out from the exhaustion caused by too many orgasms. Then, they’d nap for an hour maybe two, before Clarke woke up feeling like a slavering beast, ready to ride Lexa until they were both so tired that they passed out together instead.

The few moments of clarity in between were refreshing though. It allowed her to revel in the little things; the way Lexa’s abs flexed and contracted with each heavy breath she took, the way Lexa snored just a little bit, the way her eyes convulsed as she dreamt. It was like Lexa was the full package. She was amazed that she had found an alpha who could read her as well as Lexa could. Lexa was like a goddess in the bedroom, or at least, that’s what Clarke believed. Over the last day and a half, well since Saturday night really, Lexa had been nothing short of perfect. Sometimes the passionate, tender lover that brought her over the edge with sweet kisses and tender touches. At other times, Lexa was the growling, demanding alpha that hissed dirty things into her ear and drove into her like a demon possessed. Each time it was exactly what Clarke wanted, and _needed_ , in the moment and she couldn’t be more pleased with how her first heat had turned out. She could easily imagine a life where they got to do this for all her heats.

How they seemed to fit together so easily was the best part of all. Lexa was just the right height that when Clarke rode on top, impaling herself on Lexa’s length and stretching herself to fit around Lexa’s knot, Lexa’s lips could find either her own lips or her nipples, with little to no shifting or shuffling. Lexa could wrap her arms all the way around her and hold her tight as they slept, too, slotted together like two matching spoons. Really, Lexa was just the right size everywhere, though Clarke hadn’t really gotten a good opportunity to see some of her alpha’s more intimate parts. That first night she’d seen Lexa in all her glory, but Clarke wanted a closer look. Lexa had been too busy making her come over and over to care about her own orgasms, but Clarke figured it was about time she remedied that. Lexa deserved a reward for being so responsive to her needs during her heat. If Lexa could put off her own pleasure for Clarke’s sake, she found she was more than willing to return the favor.

She knew what she wanted to do too, something she had always wanted to try, a little trick Raven had told her about once, called an ‘oil change.’ She’d never had the opportunity before, so she was a little nervous, but she remembered what Raven had said about it, “Just remember to breathe through your nose, humming goes a long way, and be prepared to choke ‘cause it’s gonna happen at least once.” She considered those words carefully as she looked over Lexa’s peacefully sleeping face. She smirked at the thought of waking Lexa like that. Her mouth was suddenly desert dry, as if all the moisture in her body had suddenly surged south at the idea of Lexa filling her mouth with come. She snapped her eyes around, searching, remembering somewhere in her lusty haze that Lexa had brought water into the bedroom at some point. She spotted a bottle on the nightstand, and instantly started easing herself over to it. She managed to get a hold of it without waking Lexa and she quickly gulped it down, so she could get _down_ to business. Once she’d drained the bottle, she tossed it aside and began slinking down under the covers.

Lexa didn’t react to her subtle shifting down the bed, and for that Clarke was thankful, because now that she had a plan, she wanted to execute it. Lexa had been too good to her for her to screw this up by waking her too early. She couldn’t really see under the covers; the only light in the room was from the streetlights streaming in through the blinds. That light didn’t seem to be making it through the sheet and the blanket, but Clarke wasn’t going to let that discourage her. She figured she knew Lexa’s body well enough that she didn’t really need to see, but part of her still wanted to see Lexa as much as feel her. She debated pulling the covers back over her head to let in some the light, but she was worried the temperature change would wake Lexa before she was ready. Eventually, she decided to risk it, slipping the sheet and blanket down an inch at a time, hoping the slow going would make the chill seem less drastic. It was a sort of lengthy process, tenting the covers up over Lexa, then pulling them down a little, only to tent another section and repeat, but ultimately it was worth it, when the light of the streetlights finally came into view, casting Lexa’s lax member in a soft, warm glow.

Kind of disappointed that Lexa hadn’t reverted to her original shape, Clarke tried to make the best of an admittedly already good situation. She had wanted to take Lexa in her mouth and feel her grow to size, but she figured feeling Lexa’s length harden to the point of knotting inside her mouth was just as good really. The point was to make Lexa feel good after all, so she pushed herself to focus on the task at hand. She began by blowing warm air over Lexa’s skin, being careful not to touch her as she breathed heavily over Lexa’s hips. She kept her eyes fixed on Lexa’s face, trying to gauge reactions. When her breathe began to trail lower, Clarke smiled at the way Lexa’s eyelids fluttered. She paused when a corner of Lexa’s mouth tilted up as well, but she knew Lexa wasn’t awake yet, wasn’t really aware.

It was delightful to see Lexa enjoy her actions, even in her sleep, but she knew she had to wake Lexa up at some point though, otherwise what was the point. She shifted down the bed a little more, again careful not to move too fast, until her knees were resting on the bed between Lexa’s ankles. She let her fingertips do the talking then, dancing them over ankles, and the backs of knees, until Lexa started to stir, only it wasn’t the way Clarke was expecting. She had expected her light touches to gently rouse Lexa from sleep, but instead the only part of Lexa that stirred was the soft member at her middle. As Clarke continued her tickling caresses, she watched in awe as Lexa’s length visibly twitched at her touch. It seemed like even though Lexa’s brain was dead to the world, her body still knew what to do to satisfy Clarke’s needs. It was a heady feeling having that much control over Lexa’s body, that just the lightest of suggestions could have Lexa twitching and pitching for her. And, pitching was definitely the right word for it, as Lexa’s shaft began to rise, slowly at first, a shiver here, a pulse there. As Clarke drew her hands higher up Lexa’s legs though, that proud length grew taller and taller, lurching in leaps and bounds, until Clarke couldn’t hold herself back anymore. She needed to feel that pulsing and twitching inside her, whether Lexa was awake or not.

 

~~~

 

Lexa’s eyes blinked open into the almost darkness of her bedroom, and she immediately figured it must be sometime in the middle of the night; the street lights were still one. She hadn’t really had much of a chance to sleep in the last twenty-four to thirty-six hours, what with Clarke waking her up sometimes only moments after she’d actually managed to fall asleep. She didn’t really mind though. She knew Clarke was in full heat and that was bound to make her a bit erratic and hormonal and needy. It was a natural thing and Lexa had only encouraged Clarke, playing to her every whim. The times Clarke woke her up groaning like she was in pain, had worried Lexa at first, but when she quickly realized that Clarke’s skin was flushed and glistening with sweat, she knew Clarke’s heat was resurfacing. She gladly made love to Clarke then, soothing her heat slow and easy, kissing promises into her hair and worshipping her body, head to toe. The other times when Clarke woke her up it was because she was panting and gasping and moaning, as she rubbed herself against the mattress or a pillow or some part of Lexa’s body, humping mindlessly in her sleep. A couple times Clarke had even called out Lexa’s name, like Lexa was the only thing in the world that could relieve that aching emptiness growing inside. Those times Lexa hungrily devoured Clarke; rode her hard, pinching and biting and sucking, leaving scratches and bites and bruises all over her.

This time Lexa wasn’t sure what woke her, until she felt a little shiver run up her leg, starting just inside of her ankle. She immediately glanced down, not sure what was going on, but when she spotted Clarke, she understood. Clarke was perched on her knees towards the end of the bed, her eyes fixed on Lexa’s crotch with a wicked little smirk on her face. The tingling returned a moment later, the sensation higher this time, running up from Lexa’s calf. It was obvious what Clarke was doing, but she still tried not to flinch, not ready to let Clarke know she was awake. She wanted to see how far Clarke was going to go, because if Lexa was being honest with herself, she’d been dying to experience Clarke’s mouth. She hadn’t asked for it, had even told Clarke no a couple times when she asked to do it, but the way Clarke was looking at her, she knew she couldn’t say no that time. She could already feel Clarke’s warm breath tickling the inside of her thighs, and just the suggestion of Clarke’s hot mouth had her clenching her eyes shut in anticipation.

Trying to keep still, as Clarke’s touch trailed higher, there was one part of Lexa’s body that instantly betrayed her. Her shaft was lying soft and sagging against her body, until the next shot of electricity shot up her leg, this time from just inside her knee. Her length twitched as the heat of Clarke’s touch reached it and she groaned roughly. She heard a soft chuckle from between her knees and the next spark tickled its way up her inner thigh. Her rod shot up, jolting upright before sagging somewhat under its own weight. Lexa could not stifle the resulting moan that pressed its way through her vocal chords. She didn’t flinch or pull away though. She just settled her head back against the pillows and waited for the next jolt of heat to travel up her leg.

The sensations stopped though and it seemed like Clarke had decided to stop, and even though she was a little disappointed, it wasn’t like Lexa wasn’t going to get to come somehow anyway. She could smell Clarke’s heat lingering in the air around them. Lexa knew she deserved the teasing too, she had done her fair share in the last couple days, but she couldn’t hold in the fairly loud huff that escaped, frustrated nonetheless. There was a wicked little laugh from Clarke though and Lexa was tempted to call her out on her taunting tone when suddenly a warm, wet heat enveloped her. Her muscles seized, and she gasped in utter shock at the sensation, as Clarke suckled on the tip, lapping over the divot in the head. Clarke’s tongue trailed lower too, wrapping underneath the head, and Lexa’s loud groan filled the room again. Her hips bobbed up involuntarily too, suddenly seeking more of that delicious friction, forcing her length deeper into Clarke’s mouth. She winced slightly, as the head nudged the back of Clarke’s throat, but Clarke only sputtered for a moment, before adjusting herself a little and taking Lexa back to the back into her mouth.

While Lexa regretted the thrust almost immediately, because she knew she had literally just choked Clarke, it seemed like Clarke didn’t mind, so Lexa tried to relax a little. She felt trailing fingers skimming over her inner thighs again, and her length twitched heavily, but this time still inside Clarke’s mouth. A deep hum shuddered around her and the sensation only made Lexa harder faster. With the heat and the suction and the vibrations, it didn’t take long before Lexa was rock solid, throbbing and pulsing, ready for anything Clarke would give her.

All of the sudden more than half Lexa’s shaft was sucked inside that blissful, warm wetness and her back arched forward, hard, her hips rising again on instinct. The subsequent hum that rose in Clarke’s throat had Lexa dreadfully on edge, and Clarke had barely even gotten started. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could actually last as Clarke’s tongue rubbed firmly along the underside of her shaft. Clarke pulled back to take a breath though, but only to immediately slid back down again. Lexa gasped as Clarke held her deep inside for a long moment. She fists tightened in the sheets as Clarke’s hands came to rest at the apex of her thighs. They squeezed and massaged into her flesh and Lexa bit her own lip to keep from tumbling right over the edge. She definitely hadn’t expected to be woken up this way, but she would be damned if she was going to waste of a moment of it by coming too soon. Clarke’s mouth felt too good to squander the time she would be allowed to enjoy it.

Clarke’s hands continued to work their way over her pelvis, rubbing into the junction of her thighs for a few more strokes before one slipped down under her shaft. Lexa couldn’t stifle the gasping moan that escaped her lips then, as one of Clarke’s fingers lightly traced the edges of her narrow entrance. She had never thought in a million years she would enjoy penetration, of any kind, when she was in this form, but as Clarke continued to explore, she suddenly couldn’t imagine why she’d never done this before. True, her entrance would be shallower and narrower while her sex was adapted for Clarke’s heat, but that didn’t mean that the nerves there weren’t still just as sensitive. The way Clarke was running her finger around the rim, just a tease, had Lexa’s hips chasing that finger all over. Each time her hips jumped though, her shaft slipped deeper into Clarke’s mouth. Clarke just hummed and sucked and lapped around her, obviously enjoying herself too.

Feeling Clarke’s unoccupied hand pressing down against her hip, Lexa tried to stay still, knowing what Clarke was asking. She tried to brace herself too, but she shuddered hard when she finally felt Clarke sink inside her. It was just a single finger, but it was already a tight fit. She sighed as Clarke gently explored her, not even thrusting, just twirling her finger around in a tight circle. It felt incredible, like nothing she’d ever felt before, but then Clarke drew back to suckle harshly at her tip too, and Lexa’s logical mind collapsed. She was so overwhelmed by the amount of stimulation that her brain just blacked out.

 

~~~

 

A loud sagging groan flowed from between Lexa’s lips, and Clarke would have smiled, if she could have, but Lexa was twitching and throbbing so hard inside her mouth, Clarke could barely breath, much less smile. With Lexa mostly immobilized, she pulled back so that just the tip of Lexa’s member was still inside her mouth, trying to give herself some room to work. She wound her finger around inside Lexa, relishing in the amount of control Lexa was giving up to her. She couldn’t imagine any other alpha allowing her to hold their hips down the way she was; Lexa was enjoying it even, at least if the way Lexa was squeezing around her finger was any indication. She started gently hooking her finger inside of Lexa then, searching for any particularly sensitive spots, and quickly found one, a swollen patch just a little up and to the right. Lexa’s length pitched heavily inside her mouth every time she hit that spot with the pad of her finger, so Clarke continued to stroke it. She lapped at the head of Lexa’s shaft with her tongue too, keeping pace with her finger.

Before long, a steady stream of silky fluid was leaking for the tip of Lexa’s shaft and Clarke relished her alpha’s flavor filling her this way. Lexa tasted like she smelled, like fresh clean leather and mint. The flavor had a little bite to it though, a sharpness Clarke wasn’t expecting. It was slightly greasy too, not in a bad way, more like creamy and smooth, similar to butter or molasses. She pressed up into that spongey spot, delivering a firm pressure as she drew Lexa all the way inside her mouth again, humming deeply when the tip hit the back of her throat. It didn’t choke her this time; she was actively trying to relax her muscles, and as her throat opened, Lexa’s shaft sank even deeper. She could feel her nose brushing against the cropped thatch of hair that decorated Lexa’s sex, and she prided herself in being able to fit that much of Lexa’s length in her mouth at once. Her vision began to blur from lack of oxygen though, and eventually she had to pull back to breathe. She wanted Lexa that deep inside her again however and sucked in only a quick breath before sinking all the way back down again. It was glorious, feeling Lexa twitch and pulse in her throat, feeling Lexa’s hips squirm under her hand, feeling Lexa’s muscles trembling with tension. It was so overwhelming that Clarke couldn’t help but repeat the motion over and over again, willing more choked gasps to fall from Lexa’s lips.

Suddenly, but sort of expectedly, every muscle in Lexa’s body contracted under her ministrations; Lexa’s entire body racked upwards, knees jerking up off the bed, hands clutching tightly in the sheets. Her hips rocketed forward, despite Clarke’s hold, and Clarke groaned as Lexa thrusted into her. The sudden movement drove Lexa’s shaft even deeper into her throat, until Clarke’s nose was actually pressed against the skin below Lexa’s belly button. A moment later, she felt Lexa’s shaft give a heavy lurch inside her and she sighed out every bit of air she had as the first spurt unloaded into the throat. She was almost overwhelmed by the sheer force of it, but she managed to swallow around the throbbing shaft just in time to keep most of the sticky sweetness for herself. She swallowed in time then, as Lexa’s length heaved again and again, showering her throat and mouth with more molten silk. She hummed at the taste, only able to savor the flavor for a moment before quickly swallowing again, readying herself for the next torrent to flood forth.

Eventually, Clarke couldn’t swallow fast enough anymore, the buttery, rich fluid completely filling her mouth. As the first dribble seeped out around the seal of her lips, Clarke whined at the loss. She immediately realized how fortunate that was though, when that bit of wetness flowed right down in between the apex of Lexa’s thighs. She pulled her finger out of her alpha then, despite the desperate gasp that came from above her. She quickly gathered some of the slick onto two of her fingers and began to spread it around Lexa’s entrance, hoping that she could get back inside before Lexa’s orgasm ended.

She wanted to keep it going as long as possible, that’s why Raven had told her she called this technique the ‘oil change,’ because the one female alpha that Raven had done this with, had taken more than an hour before she could be coaxed into coming again afterwards. The extended orgasm would drain Lexa to the point that when she did get hard again, it would take a lot more stimulation than usual before she physically could come again. And, as much as Clarke wanted this to last for Lexa, she was already daydreaming about Lexa rutting into her, hard and fast and selfish, driving Clarke over the edge like a runaway train, over and over until she couldn’t see anymore.

With Lexa’s entrance thoroughly lubricated, she carefully worked those two fingers back inside and when she curled her fingers forward, catching that spot again, Lexa’s shaft heaved, flooding her mouth even more. It came again and again and again as Clarke continued thrusting, eventually getting her head bobbing up and down in rhythm with her fingers. Lexa went stock still below her once more, and a shocked gasp sounded out above her. Lexa’s shaft gave one last, heavy jerk, and then a huge splash of silky wetness swamped Clarke’s mouth, immediately overflowing. Clarke chased it as it ran out and down, dripping off her chin and landing under Lexa’s butt on the sheets. Lexa’s body slumped suddenly then, instantly relaxing from her drawn-up position from before. Really, the only reason Clarke didn’t think she had killed the poor girl was because of the choked, sobbing breaths ratcheting through Lexa’s chest.

She wasn’t quite done with Lexa though, she needed to recapture those dribbles and drabs of Lexa’s come that had escaped her mouth. Something inside her told her she didn’t want to waste a single drop. She went about cleaning Lexa up then, silently hoping that maybe her attempts at cleanliness might bring Lexa back to hardness, sooner rather than later. Swallowing Lexa’s come had triggered a powerful, pounding need, and Clarke knew that if Lexa wasn’t hard and ready for her soon, she might have to take matters into her own hands. Not that letting Lexa watch her masturbate wasn’t appealing, but she knew that any orgasm she gave herself would pale in comparison to the things Lexa could do to her. She just hoped her ‘oil change’ had been enough for Lexa for the moment. Surely after that kind of discharge, it would be a while before Lexa came again. Clarke shuddered just at the thought; Frustrated Lexa, rutting hard, a fast, brutal pace, forcing orgasm after orgasm out of her. It might seem selfish, but she knew she would make it up to Lexa later. At the moment, Clarke needed Lexa, hard and inside her, and for as long as she could have her that way.

 

~~~

 

Not once in her entire life had Lexa ever come that hard. She could barely breathe, much less think or move. She felt _drained_ , like she’d given Clarke everything had, and everything she would ever have. She tried to move, but her whole body felt like a wobbling bowl of jelly. Her muscles twitched when she asked them to move; she couldn’t even lift her head. All she could do was just lie back and breathe. Her head was foggy too, like she was under water, the world around her muffled by some great unseen heaviness. She started to feel a little panicked; she couldn’t actually see either, but after a moment, she realized it was because her eyes were still closed. She was so sapped it took her a second to remember how to open them.

The still soft light streaming in through the blinds was brighter than it should have been, and Lexa’s eyes prickled the second she unbolted them. Water ran down the sides of her face as she slammed them closed again, trying to block out the light. She blinked several times though, as her eyes continued to fill with water. She tried to shake her head, but still didn’t get very far with her weak muscles. She wasn’t crying, she couldn’t be crying, because… because she didn’t cry, hadn’t cried since the night she lost Costia. As her eyes continued to fill and spill over though, she didn’t have any better explanation. She _was crying_ , for Costia, but also for Clarke, because she never thought she could feel that way again, safe and sated, like she was _home_.

Eventually, Clarke’s happy hums returned to Lexa’s ears, and she could feel Clarke cleaning her shaft and entrance with soft little slurps. She didn’t think Clarke was trying to arouse her again, at least not yet, but she still quivered, as Clarke’s tongue dipped inside her. One of Clarke’s hands was holding her length up and out of the way, and she could already feel herself twitching in that soft grip. She purred as Clarke’s tongue curled inside her, still soft and tentative. She figured Clarke was simply still exploring her and she was happy to oblige. It’s not like she could move if she wanted to anyway, so she decided to simply enjoy the feeling of Clarke loving her body.

Of course, Clarke’s exploring, combined with that soft stroking hand, were more than enough to get Lexa hard again. It actually surprised her how quickly she was reacting, considering she still felt a little weak. Even with how exhausted she felt though, Clarke’s scent was pungent and thick in the air around them, and as she focused on it, she suddenly felt more and more alert with each breath. She was sure that once she actually got inside Clarke, she’d have no problem seeing to Clarke’s needs. She finally got enough coordination together to lift her head, and when she glanced down, Clarke’s eyes were staring up at her. She couldn’t hold her head up for long, but in that split second, Lexa saw Desire, incarnate. Clarke’s eyes were black with it; her cheeks were flushed with it; her skin glistened with it. Clarke’s grip around her shaft turned firmer then, even as Clarke’s mouth drifted up towards her hip. Lexa shifted, trying to get more friction from Clarke’s hand. She knew that Clarke needed her, and she wanted to be as hard as she could be for Clarke. She wanted to be ready, but what she wasn’t ready for; a hard tug and sharp bite.

Teeth dug into her skin covering her hip, right in that sweet spot that made her hips jerk. She involuntarily flinched away, the pain forcing to recoil. Her head spun for a moment too, trying to wrap itself around the sudden change in Clarke’s demeanor. A clawed hand met her opposite hip then, digging in and holding her down for the next bite, teeth crushing in right below her left breast. It was much harder than the first, and Lexa barely managed to stifle the angry sounding growl that was bubbling in her throat. Fingers dug into the skin of her hip again, but she heard Clarke giggle right before teeth latched onto her shoulder. The growl Lexa had managed to stuff down before, came out more like a roar then. When Clarke sighed against her shoulder at the sound, she quickly realized the howl was exactly what Clarke was after.

Apparently, Clarke like playing games, like Clarke would wiggle her hips and ass in a particularly enticing way, a way that was far more than just teasing, and then force Lexa to chase her if she wanted more. Lexa like that game, especially because Clarke had almost not patience either, so most of the time she just ended up pouncing on Lexa as soon as she came out of the bedroom. They ended up fucking in the middle of the hallway floor the first time Clarke had ambushed her like that. It was pretty glorious.

They’d played this game once already. Clarke would bite her and claw her and pinch her, harder and harder, until the Alpha inside Lexa would have no choice but to turn the tables. Even if for no other reason than self-preservation. Lexa enjoyed the biting game too, the push and pull for dominance, feeling like Clarke wanted her to lose control. Lexa would probably never admit it, but it felt really good to be able to forget about everything else in the world. Clarke was her world then, the hot, sweaty, mewling omega in front of her.

When Clarke’s teeth finally met her throat, she _bellowed_ , the white-hot flare of pain surging down her shoulder and up her neck, right into her brain. It wasn’t hard enough to break the skin; they never were, but Lexa knew Clarke was trying to piss her off, trying to draw out her snarling side. The truth was, Clarke little game had worked every other time, and it was working then too. Lexa could feel her alpha, raging inside her, struggling to get free, suddenly refusing to be silenced by her logic and reason any more.


	16. The Introduction

Catching a glimpse of the bill as Anya signed for her credit card, Octavia couldn’t help grimacing. Apparently, her wine had been eight dollars glass, and even though, the waiter had only charge them for two instead of three, her ‘half’ of the bill was well over half. Anya didn’t seem perturbed in the slightest though, simply signing the receipt, after adding a rather large tip for the waiter. Still, Octavia felt strange about Anya paying for it all. She hadn’t ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, but her spanakopita certainly hadn’t been her cheapest option either. That plus the wine had made her meal almost twice as expensive as Anya’s moussaka. When Anya looked up at her though, with a big smile on her face, Octavia didn’t pout about it for long, figuring she could just make sure to pay the next time they went out together. That thought was a bit surprising, and a bit scary too, if she was being honest. They hadn’t really talked about what they both wanted; she didn’t know if a second date was even in the cards. She wanted there to be a second, and even third and fourth, date, especially with the way things were going so far. If Anya didn’t want to go out with her again though, it wasn’t like Octavia could make her. Those thoughts stayed with her, all the way until they were out on the sidewalk again, and eventually, Octavia couldn’t help but ask, “So, you’re still coming over to Skai’s tomorrow night, right?”

Of course, Octavia didn’t have very good timing, finishing her question just as the light changed for them to cross the street. Anya didn’t answer immediately, just started pulling her across the street instead. Thankfully, it only took a few seconds to cross, and when they reached the other side, Anya turned back to her, pulling her into her arms. Octavia saw a flash of that signature smirk beaming back at her, before Anya leaned in near her ear, and huskily whispered, “Oh, I’ll be there. I can’t wait to see you in action.”

It wasn’t quite the answer Octavia was looking for, but she blushed anyway, thinking about Anya ‘seeing her in action.’ She shook off those hazy thoughts though, and pushed forward, finally just asking what she really wanted to ask in the first place, “And, maybe we can do this again too, you know… when you’re free, or whatever…”

Hating how weak she sounded, Octavia tried to shore herself up, but it wasn’t until Anya pulled back and met her eyes, that she actually started to feel stable. Anya’s features were soft and warm, her smile, her eyes. Her scent just as rich and inviting as always too, but it was her words that really made Octavia feel safe. “Of course, absolutely,” was all Anya said, but her obvious enthusiasm told Octavia everything she needed to know about Anya’s intentions. Anya wanted to know where this was going just as much as she did.

They walked the rest of the way to the parking garage in silence, hand in hand, until they got to the pay-station for the garage. Anya let go of her hand to rummage in the back pocket of her pants, and Octavia immediately felt the loss. She took it as a small comfort though, when Anya turned to her and reached out for her hand again. There was something different though, and when she looked down and saw the parking receipt in Anya’s hand, it took her a second to realize what Anya was doing. She eventually took the ticket for Anya’s hand when Anya said, “Well, I thought since I paid for dinner, that you’d wanna pay for parking.”

It wasn’t much of a consolation, but Octavia gratefully accepted it anyway, stepping up to the pay-station and slipping a five-dollar bill into the machine before taking the receipt back to get them out of the deck. It was oddly thoughtful, Anya offering her a way to contribute, and when she turned to back Anya, she couldn’t help but go to her. Before she really knew it, she had her arms around Anya’s shoulders, pulling their lips together. Anya grunted in surprise for a second before falling into the kiss, and Octavia sighed as Anya’s hands came up to bracket her hips. She knew they couldn’t get hot and heavy again, at least not right there in the middle of the parking deck entrance, but that didn’t make it any easier for her to pull away.

Ultimately, it was Anya who broke their connection, pulling back to chuckle as she said, “Well, that’s new. I’ve never had a girl kiss me for making her pay for something.”

Shaking her head, Octavia smiled, taking Anya’s hand in her own again as she said, “Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not like other girls.”

Anya’s reply was lighting fast, “Oh! I noticed,” and Octavia swooned as Anya pulled her in for another kiss, this one full of promise and expectation. Again, it was Anya that broke them apart though, whispering against her lips, “Come on, gorgeous. In some places, the night is just beginning.”

Octavia followed along behind Anya in a sort of stupor after that, as Anya led them back to her bike. The ride to Anya’s apartment was much shorter than the ride had been to the restaurant, but that didn’t mean Octavia didn’t enjoy it just as much. When she first mounted the motorcycle, she crowded in as close to Anya as possible, bracketing Anya’s slim hips tightly with her own thighs, just wanting to savor the closeness. It didn’t take long for her to realize that she was too close, that every time they slowed down or sped up, the friction between them sent chills down her spine. She didn’t dare move away though, having Anya that close to her felt too good to stop. It was maybe a little shameless, but eventually, Octavia found herself rocking into that friction each time. She was still a little nervous about what was coming next, and what would happen after that, but then she felt Anya deliberately pressing back into her, and those nerves were quickly left behind in their dust.

When they pulled up in front of Anya’s apartment, Octavia marveled at how skillfully Anya pulled the motorcycle down into the underground parking structure below her building. Anya banked the turn much tighter than she had previously, the bike tilting over further than it had on any other turn they had made. Octavia couldn’t help but think the little bit of recklessness was sexy though, because it led Octavia to believe that Anya was just as ready as she was to get back to the beginning of their evening.

Eventually, Anya pulled into a spot and slowed the bike to a stop. Octavia grinned as she slipped of the back of the bike, with much more grace this time. She watched as Anya put down the kickstand and slipped off the motorcycle as well. She thought Anya looked like a lean jungle cat, all her muscles tensing as her leg swung over the back of the bike. Anya unhooked her helmet and Octavia hustled to follow suit, whipping the helmet off her head so fast the chin strap caught on her nose a little bit. It wasn’t like she punched herself in the face or anything, but the brief jerk still stung a bit. She had to blink a few times before handing her helmet to Anya, who quickly turned to stow both their helmets in the storage compartments on either side of the bike. Octavia couldn’t help herself but to stare as Anya bent over the motorcycle to secure her helmet. Her mouth watered at the way Anya’s leather pants stretched over her toned hips and thighs, leaving Octavia with a very clear view of Anya’s well-toned butt cheeks. All she could think about was getting up to Anya’s apartment, so she could her hands on them.

Anya looked over her shoulder, and Octavia knew Anya was watching her, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from those muscles moving under those leather pants. It was probably the most enticing sight she had ever seen. Her jaw had dropped slightly open, and she was sure there was a deep flush to her cheeks. While she was embarrassed about being caught ogling Anya so blatantly, she couldn’t help but smile when Anya let out a husky chuckle and whispered, “Don’t forget to breathe, gorgeous.” Anya turned back to her then, and Octavia’s whole body tightened, as she struggled against her instincts to just mount Anya right there in the parking garage. She was still sort of wound up from the ride, and Anya just looked so sexy… It was a losing battle, because when Anya shifted her weight, muscles gleaming under that skin-tight fabric, Octavia’s omega screamed at her for contact. Before she had any clue what her body was doing, she jumped Anya… again. She clutched at Anya so tightly, needing to just get closer. She climbed up her body, pulling herself back up into that koala bear hold from the beginning of their date. She barely noticed Anya staggering slightly under her sudden weight, but as she settled against Anya’s wiry frame, she couldn’t bring herself to regret her position. Anya’s hands grasped her ass in a death grip then, digging into the muscles there and Octavia groaned, the slight pain making her feel even more desperate. That grip forced the apex of her thighs hard against Anya’s pelvis and the rough contact drove her forward. She gasped as her face found the skin of Anya’s neck. If she hadn’t already been so far gone, the way Anya’s scent completely filled her senses, would have wrenched away the last shred of her reason.

Unable to stop herself, she stole a taste of Anya’s skin, and Anya groaned at the contact. The vibrations Anya created reverberated all through Octavia’s body though, ricocheting around until they sizzled against her core. Octavia arched again, as Anya hoisted her in her arms, the seam of Anya’s leather pants dragging roughly against her sex. Even through several layers of fabric, Octavia could feel the heat of Anya’s body and she latched onto Anya then, needing to fill herself with more of Anya, lapping against Anya’s scent gland again and again. Anya’s flavor was everything she dreamed it would be too, like salted coconut, sweet and tangy. Unable to get enough, she closed her lips over the gland and suckled at the skin, causing the Alpha in her arms to react.

 

~~~

 

Anya’s head was spinning, the sensation of having one of her more intimate of areas attended quickly overwhelming her. To be honest, she couldn’t remember a partner she’d had taking that kind of initiative. The way Octavia was lapping at her neck had her in some sort of way too, but when Octavia’s lips closed over the skin covering her scent gland, she almost roared. She hefted Octavia in her arms then and began marching her way across the garage towards the elevator, determined to get Octavia behind closed doors, and sooner rather than later. She groaned as Octavia worked a deeper and deeper hickey into the side of her neck, sucking harder with every step she took. In no time at all, she had Octavia pressed up against the wall next to the call button. She reached out blindly to press it, using her other hand to try to force Octavia’s head away from her neck. She growled when Octavia simply sunk her teeth in, obviously desperate to keep from being separated from her scent. Octavia didn’t bite hard enough to break the skin, but Anya couldn’t stop her head from jerking in the opposite direction, the sudden pain peeking as her skin pulled against Octavia’s teeth. Driven, not just by the pain, but by some primal instinct, Anya clenched her fist in Octavia’s hair, right at the base of her neck, and suddenly, thankfully, _finally_ , Octavia’s locked jaw slacked. Anya almost lost her own grip of Octavia though, as all the muscles in Octavia’s body loosened along with her jaw. She managed to keep them upright, but only by pressing Octavia harder up against the wall with her body.

The last of the air between them rushed past Anya’s nose and it all hit her at once. She could smell Octavia’s arousal and suddenly, having their bodies so close together wasn’t nearly close enough. She was sure Octavia was ruining another pair of underwear, and probably her leggings too. Anya shifted then, reaffirming her grip on the backs of Octavia’s thighs, and she realized she was much in the same boat. She was stunned at how Octavia’s possessive actions were affecting her, to say the least. She didn’t want to admit it yet, but the idea of being marked by Octavia wasn’t necessarily a bad one either. She didn’t get long to think about it though, the elevator dinging loudly beside them. She easily spun them into the elevator when the door finally opened, and a moment later she had Octavia pressed against the wall inside the lift instead. Anya barely glanced to her left before pressing the button for her floor.

With access again, Octavia began painting her neck with sweet kisses and teasing licks, obviously attempting to soothe the burning and throbbing over her gland. Anya didn’t really mind the pain so much, because the warmer, hazier feelings that were stirring inside her had her well past distracted. A strangled whine broke from Octavia’s lips though, and Anya immediately began running her hands up and down the backs of Octavia’s thighs, attempting to comfort the whining omega in her embrace. “Shhh, shhh, shh, little O. It’s ok, we’re ok,” she whispered into Octavia’s hair, as Octavia continued lapping at her neck apologetically. Anya sighed heavily as Octavia started to relax back into her arms. She continued her ministrations and whispered words of reassurance until the elevator dinged again, but just as she started to spin them out of the elevator, Anya heard someone gruffly clear their throat about two feet to her left.

She didn’t want to look up, too shocked and frankly, a little horrified to face whoever was standing there, but when Octavia’s face burrowed into the side of her neck, she forced her face to turn and opened her eyes. She should have known really, that gruff sound was one she’d heard many times before, and ironically, in much the same position. This wasn’t the first time her neighbor, Gideon Taggart, had caught her with her hand nearly in the cookie jar. He had some impeccable timing really, always deciding to take his garbage down to the dumpsters when she just happened to be coming up the elevator with a pretty girl. He said as much too, laughing out, “So, Anya, another new one, huh?”

A guttural growl formed in her throat at his jeering tone, threatening to escape before she had a chance to tamp it down. Every muscle in her body tensed, singing for his blood, and if it hadn’t been for Octavia still clutching to her so desperately, she wasn’t sure what would have happened. Instead, she focused on Octavia’s trembling frame bracketed in her arms, Octavia’s huffed breath hot against her neck, and Octavia’s scent turning acrid in her nostrils. Despite her best efforts though, she still fumed as the implications of his words really sunk in. She couldn’t believe that he was suggesting Octavia was like the other girls she slept with; Octavia was nothing like them, and she was going to let him know just how wrong he was. She heard him draw breath, obviously preparing to speak again, and the urge to cause him pain surged inside her again. She fixed him with her most pressing stare instead. When he just smirked at her, she bared her teeth, and nearly snarled in his face, as she said, “If you value your health, you’ll stand aside.” Her feet moved of their own accord then, shifting through the rapidly closing elevator door, squeezing through just in time. To her satisfaction, Gideon wasn’t quick enough getting out of the way, and she nearly bowled him over when her shoulder met his chest. He stumbled, and she sneered, part of her taking pleasure from the fact that the garbage bag he’d been holding burst open as he dropped it, and then he ended up stepping in the subsequent mess, falling all over it as well.

With the way clear, or at least somewhat clear, Anya stepped over a half-eaten apple and some moldy Chinese food as she hefted Octavia up in her arms once more. She trudged down the hall towards her apartment then, feeling sour since she was sure that the mood had been ruined. Octavia was still clinging to her though, still hadn’t pulled her face away from her neck and Anya sighed as she paused in front of her door, holding Octavia up with one hand as she dug in her jacket pocket for her keys with the other. She was so disparaged she barely noticed the little groan that escaped Octavia’s lips when her leather covered fist brushed against Octavia’s inner thigh. She glanced down just in time for Octavia to huskily blurt out, “Is that your hand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Anya just smiled, relieved that Octavia didn’t seem too put off by their little encounter with Gideon. Her smile must have seemed off though, because Octavia immediately clamped her mouth shut and hid against the side of her neck. Anya pulled her hand out of her pocket then and waggled her keys in the air. Octavia let out a little whine as she added in a whisper, “Does that mean you’re not happy to see me?”

Anya sighed as she tipped Octavia’s head back up, so she could meet Octavia’s eyes as she said directly, “Gorgeous, I’ve never been so happy to see anyone my whole life.” She hesitated for just a moment, considered saying more, considered telling Octavia just how special she thought she was, that Octavia already meant more to her than any of her other lovers combined. She supposed that actions were often stronger than words though, and so she pushed her key into her door, determined to show Octavia all that and more. She turned the knob, but couldn’t stop herself from saying at least a little of what she was thinking, leaning back in to whisper against the shell of Octavia’s ear, “What do you say we get rid of these clothes, and then I’ll show just how happy I am to see you…”

 

~~~

 

Moaning in response, Octavia felt incapable of actually forming words at that point. She was consumed by the idea of her skin sliding against Anya’s. She pressed her face back into Anya’s neck as Anya carried her over the threshold of the apartment. She didn’t even try to look around as Anya made her way down a short hallway. It was quite the thrill though, when Anya pressed her up against a door frame, just long enough to reach out and flip a light switch. Soft light illuminated the room they had just entered, but Octavia didn’t get a chance to take much about her surroundings, before her back met in the softest bed she’d ever touched. In complete contrast, Anya’s firm body hovered just above her own and she groaned as Anya’s weight shifted slightly against her. She nearly whined though, when she felt Anya pull her hands out from under her butt. Those hands didn’t leave her body though, trailing over her sides, all the way up her arms to grasp her wrists. Anya tugged slightly on them, and Octavia did whine then, not wanting to give up her hold on Anya for anything. Eventually, after a few more tugs though, she reluctantly relinquished her grip around Anya’s neck, allowing her hands and arms to flop down on the bed above her head.

Feeling Anya just linger over her for a moment, Octavia thought she was going to spontaneously combust under Anya’s heated stare. She gasped though as Anya immediately swooped in for what was probably the hottest kiss of her whole life. Anya took immediate control too, dominating her mouth, nipping at her lips or tongue whenever she became too forceful as they kissed. Anya shifted to change the angle, trying to delve deeper. Without even realizing it, Octavia found her hands sinking into Anya’s hair, ready to pull Anya in as deep as she could go. Anya really bit down then, and Octavia moaned as Anya’s teeth sunk into her bottom lip. The sound seemed to halt all other exploration of her mouth. Anya bit down more firmly, working over her lip with her teeth, but then Octavia gasped as Anya sucked the flesh into her mouth, sating the hissing sting with her lips and her tongue. She keened, arching up into Anya’s solid frame as Anya pulled away, releasing her lip with sloppy, wet pop. She’d long since lost her grip in Anya’s hair, her arms lifeless once again beside her head, and all she could do was pant into the ether between them and stare up at Anya. She could see the slightest bit of hesitance in Anya’s cloudy eyes, and she breathed, “Again,” begging for Anya to claim her mouth all over again. The cloudiness in Anya’s eyes seemed to clear, and only a moment later, Anya was pressed down against her again. Octavia readily allowed it when Anya took her lip in between her teeth again, this bite the hardest of all. She had absolutely no control over the way her body moved then, pitching and rolling and jerking, eventually just shamelessly grinding herself against the front of Anya’s leather pants.

The way Anya growled at her then had Octavia shivering too, that is, until Anya’s hands pinned her down. “Patience!” Anya barked then, and the command made Octavia go stock still, almost limp under Anya’s will, submitting herself to Anya’s demand. If the smirk on Anya’s face was any indication, Anya appreciated the effect she was having over her too. A smug, rumbling purr vented from Anya’s chest, and Octavia shivered again as Anya pressed her hips forward, dragging their bodies together in the most sensual way possible. It was a promise, of more, of everything, and Octavia moaned as Anya leaned in again, firmly pressing their lips together again. Anya’s hands began trailing over her sides, teasing her straining skin with barely-there touches. The sensations had Octavia fighting with herself not to rock up into Anya’s body again, ready to seek any kind of friction. Anya shifted away once more, and Octavia whined, thinking Anya was pulling back again, but then Anya’s strong hand was clasped tightly around both her wrists, holding her down. She arched into the force of it, unable to stop herself from rocking against Anya that time. The way the fly of Anya’s leather pants dragged across her sex was delicious, but she couldn’t help but to squirm, knowing it would feel better if she could feel Anya’s skin instead. Anya growled and shifted back a little, depriving her of the little bit of friction she had found, and Octavia whined again, not caring how desperate she sounded. She was getting fucking desperate.

Anya’s weight was only gone a second though, but when it returned Octavia thought she might pass out, because Anya’s other hand wasn’t holding her hip down anymore, it was trailing up her outer thigh, drifting up under her dress. Anya’s lips met her cheek once before Octavia heard her huskily whisper, “Can I take this off?”

Octavia didn’t quite understand the words at first, until Anya bunched her dress up in her hand and tugged. She immediately nodded her head enthusiastically, huffing out, “yes, yes… Ple-ase.” Anya’s hand released her wrist then, and she squirmed, shifting her weight around until she could get her arms out of her jacket. She leaned up to help Anya get it out from underneath her, but then her dress drew up and over her head instead. She heard Anya gasp, before a hand slammed down, trapping her arms over her head once again, wrists still tangled in her dress. She barely had time to regain her breathe before Anya’s mouth descended onto her chest. Her nipples chafed with how quickly they hardened, straining against the nearly see-through lace of her bra.

Anya’s mouth was insistent and rough there too, licking and sucking and teething at both her puckered buds through the lace. A low growl rumbled out of Anya as she switched back and forth between the two, obvious enjoying herself. It wasn’t long before Anya’s ministrations were driving Octavia absolutely wild. Her hips started rolling up into the Anya again, only this time Anya didn’t hold her down, didn’t stop her from bucking and rocking. She would just start to work herself into a rhythm, but then Anya would switch it up; dragging her teeth over the tight buds of her nipples, nipping at the tight lace and pinching the skin underneath, swirling her tongue along the underside, leaving the cold shock of hot breath on wet skin in her wake.

The first time Anya’s hips shifted back against her own, Octavia felt she was about to explode. Once, then twice… then _please, just one more_. She was so close she thought she was going to come just like that, but Anya’s body wrenched away at just the right moment to deny her. Octavia cried out at the sudden loss, eyes immediately searching Anya’s for an explanation. Their eyes met instantly, and that’s when she noticed Anya was still fully clothed, jacket and all. There was even a trickle of sweat that was beginning to run down Anya’s face. No sooner had she thought about leaning in and licking it away, did Anya’s jacket come flying off, quickly followed by her tank top. Octavia was dumbstruck by the sudden expanse of bare skin, but when Anya’s hands disappeared behind her back, Octavia immediately fumbled out of the remains of her crumbled dress and pushed herself up. She moved her hands up the expanse of the Anya’s bare back then, needing to touch almost as much as she needed to be touched. When their hands met Octavia felt the clasp of Anya’s emerald-green bra under her fingers. It was a struggle but eventually, she managed a husky, “Let— Let me?”

Sighing, Octavia smiled as Anya simply nodded and brought her arms back around to rest of her hands on her own mostly bare shoulders. The heat of Anya’s palms made her shudder. She tried to focus through the sensation but ended up fumbling excitedly with the clasp Anya’s bra, anyway, struggling for a moment to even remember how the clasp worked in the first place. Eventually triumphant, she finally slumped back against the bed in a huff, dragging the garment away with her as she fell. The sight of Anya’s bare chest, from the base of that long slender neck all the way down to the chiseled V between her hips, simply took Octavia’s breath away. She shamelessly stared up at Anya, eyes flitting about, trying to take in all of Anya at once; her muscular arms and broad shoulders, her cut collarbone and high tight breasts, her barely padded ribs and washboard abs. Octavia thought she couldn’t look away even if she wanted.

 

~~~

 

The moment seemed to stretch on forever, but Anya wasn’t about to shy away from anyone’s ogling. It was just an added bonus that it happened to be Octavia staring up at her, open-mouthed and gawking. She took a moment to absorb the view of Octavia under her as well. She trailed her eyes over every inch of supple omega skin beneath her, muttering, “Absolutely gorgeous,” as she brought her hands to Octavia’s stomach, dragging her fingertips roughly over Octavia’s well-defined abs. It was even more striking when Octavia cooed underneath her, arching, pushing into her touch. Obviously, skirting the line between pleasure and pain was driving Octavia wild. She could see Octavia’s pulse thumping aggressively against the skin of her neck and it was all she could do not to nestle in beside her that throbbing pulse and lose herself in its rhythm. She pressed her hips forward instead, groaning as she felt Octavia’s thighs start to shake against her hips. It wasn’t quite what she’d imagined earlier, she wasn’t buried inside Octavia to the hilt, but feeling those strong muscles grow weak for her felt too good to quibble over the details. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the thought of carrying Octavia through a heat though. She couldn’t deny how appealing that was, knowing she would be the first, and maybe even the only one to ever touch Octavia like that. Her breathing felt strained then, but she tried to refocus on the present. She trailed her fingers, up and up and up then, until her thumbs barely brushed over the still scantily-covered skin of Octavia’s nipples. Octavia moaned loudly at the teasing strokes and Anya’s hips bucked forward again at the sound. Octavia’s moans echoed again and again, as Anya started rocking forward, pressing into Octavia in time with the brushing of her thumbs over Octavia’s nipples.

Feeling sweaty and sort of stretched thin, Anya was barely containing herself at that point, trying not to just rip the rest of Octavia’s clothes off. She wanted to draw the most wanton sounds from Octavia’s lips, over and over and over again. She wanted to push Octavia to places she’d never been before. She wanted to find every little spot that gave Octavia pleasure and then exploit all of them at once. She wanted to light Octavia up like the Fourth of July and New Year’s rolled into one. She wanted Octavia’s first time to be so good, so special, that Octavia would never forget it.

Brushing her hands around to cup the swells of Octavia’s breasts, Anya palmed them firmly before giving them a tight squeeze. Octavia arched into the touch and Anya used the space to deftly slide one hand around behind Octavia’s back. She had no trouble at all slipping the clasp loose, her eyes immediately tracking the way the bra slacked over Octavia’s chest. She leaned back again, despite Octavia’s deep whine at the loss, and slipped the cups off Octavia’s breasts. They bounced free, but Anya didn’t dwell on them, not yet, just needing to get the bra completely out of the way before she gave Octavia’s breasts all the attention they could stand. She glanced up then, only to notice the pile of tangled dress near the headboard. Smirking, as an idea popped into her head, Anya quickly slipped the bra straps up over Octavia’s shoulders. She grabbed the center of the bra then, wrenching it in such a way that it tangled around Octavia’s wrists. With something new to hold on to, she used her grip to pull Octavia’s arms up further over her head. Octavia trashed against the hold a little, but Anya just shifted her weight, driving harder into the mattress, stretching Octavia out further.

Octavia squeaked, and even though Anya knew it wasn’t a sound of pain, only surprise, she still checked in anyway, quietly asking, “Okay?” Octavia nodded wildly, but Anya needed more, she needed to hear Octavia say it. If they were going to venture any deeper than just a few great orgasms, she needed to know that Octavia knew she was a part of this too. She needed Octavia to know, that ultimately, Octavia was the one with the final say in how far they went. She tightened her grip a little, trying to emphasize her point, as she choked out, “Not. Good. Enough. I n-need… I need to hear you say it.”

The longest silence of her life stretched out in front of her then, or at least it felt long, as she just watched Octavia struggle for breath. Eventually though, Octavia got some sort of control over herself, and Anya couldn’t help but smile as Octavia gruffly said, “It… It’s ok. I’m g-good, just you’re so… and, I can’t—Just— Just do it to me. I… I t-trust you..."

Their eyes met then, Octavia’s finally opening on her last words, and Anya marveled at the sincerity she found there. “Thank you,” she easily replied, the words breaking past her lips of their own accord. She meant them though; she appreciated that trust, more than she could say. She leaned in to place a soft kiss on Octavia’s lips to show her gratitude instead. When she pulled back again, Octavia’s eyes stayed closed, a look of bliss filling her features, and Anya used the time to finally allow her eyes to trail down to Octavia’s bare chest. That first glimpse of Octavia’s straining nipples had Anya buckling forward. She swept one of the solid little buds in between her lips and sucked it into her mouth. Her thumb and forefinger found the other one, and she gently pulled and rolled it in her grip, not wanting to leave it feeling neglected.

Octavia let out a wild gasping moan then, and Anya clamped her teeth around the nipple in her mouth when Octavia jerked and arched below her. She wasn’t about to let go of her prize now that she claimed it. Anya was sure the pressure of her teeth hurt, but Octavia only pressed into her harder, choking out a sobbing, broken, “Mo- Mo- Mo-re,” before falling utterly silent. She didn’t have the heart to stop Octavia as her hips tilted up into her again and again, letting Octavia ride out the rough treatment anyway she needed to, simply rolling Octavia’s tender flesh harder with her teeth. Anya tried to match the jerky movements of Octavia’s hips as best she could, hoping to ultimately settle into some sort of rhythm. Her instincts were screaming at her to leave a mark, to take anything and everything Octavia would give her, but Anya managed to bite down on her desire to leave more than just a bruise. That is, until one good grind later, when Octavia threw her head back, pressing it hard into the bed, and the muscles in her neck were left straining. Anya clenched her teeth around Octavia’s nipple then, and tugged, hard. She couldn’t help herself; it was either the nipple in her mouth or the throbbing pulse in front of her eyes. She rolled her teeth over the bud in her mouth one more time, wishing it was the gland that was now so blatantly exposed to her.

Hearing Octavia’s sharp cry above her, Anya immediately began soothing Octavia’s surely stinging nipple, lapping at it with her tongue, and palliating it with her lips. When she finally pulled her mouth away, to see if there was any damage, she shifted her hand over to it to continue the calming caress as she looked it over. She hadn’t tasted blood, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t accidently torn Octavia’s skin open anyway. Anya shifted closer, inspecting Octavia’s nipple and the skin around it. Only after she was totally satisfied, merely noticing a deep purple color and a little swelling, did she finally bury her face in against Octavia’s neck. She felt like she couldn’t resist the draw of Octavia’s pulsing skin for even another second. The added friction of their bodies finally fully-flush against each other had Octavia’s hips jerking more wildly against her own in an instant. She could easily sense the change in Octavia’s near-constant cries as well. Octavia was close, just like that, still half clothed, essentially dry humping; though admittedly neither one could be considered dry in any capacity at that point. Not wanting to deny Octavia though, when she was obviously so close, Anya kissed and nipped her way up Octavia’s neck and just before lightly sinking her teeth into Octavia’s scent gland, she rumbled, “Come…” from deep in her chest.

Octavia’s hands jerked harshly against her hold, her whole body shivering just as hard. A moment later though, Octavia went totally stock-stiff under her, back arched, breath held, every single inch of her locked tight. Anya reveled in the way warmth seemed to burst through Octavia’s underwear and leggings, quickly painting a slick spot across her stomach, and then all the way down to the waistband of her pants. Anya continued her grinding against Octavia’s core, wanting to help Octavia ride though her orgasm, but Octavia jerked harshly against her on the downstroke. Anya wasn’t sure how, but she hadn’t even realized the slightly-rigid seam of her pants had been rubbing and catching against Octavia’s barely covered sex. She’d probably been rubbing herself a lot more harshly against Octavia than she thought. It seemed like a happy coincidence if there ever was one, but as she continued to move against Octavia, she made sure to avoid dragging it over Octavia’s clit. After a rough rub like that, Octavia was surely overwhelmed and oversensitive. It wasn’t long before Octavia started to come down, shaking and quivering against her, whole body trembling in apparent relief. Anya pulled back slightly, hoping to check in, but she could instantly tell by the blissed-out look on Octavia’s face, that Octavia was content to continue riding her orgasm out for as long as it would last. Anya wasn’t about to stop her rocking hips anytime soon, either.

 Eventually though, Octavia finally stilled, slumping unceremoniously against the bed, and Anya allowed her own hips to come to rest as well. She kept her lower belly pressed against the large wet spot on Octavia’s leggings, not wanting Octavia to feel exposed after such an obviously powerful experience. When Octavia’s eyes didn’t open for some time, Anya simply settled her body back over top of Octavia’s and snuggled her face in close to Octavia’s neck again, content to let Octavia recover as long as she needed. Of course, she had needs herself, but they could definitely wait. With, Octavia content and sated and safe below her, she didn’t want to interrupt that moment for anything. She tried to keep most of her weight on her own elbows and knees, but eventually, with stomach and back muscles trembling, Anya sagged from the effort of holding herself up. Their stomachs and chests heaved against each other once again, and the soft movements rocked them against each other again. Anya simply focused every nerve on feeling Octavia against her, memorizing every shudder of her breath, every shiver of her skin. She savored in every aftershock that rolled through Octavia, soaking in wave after wave of sensation.

It seemed to take a very, long time for Octavia to come back to herself, but eventually Octavia shifted under her weight. Anya pulled back just as Octavia’s eyes blinked open, and Anya watched with a smug smile on her face, as Octavia struggled to focus. Anya noticed that Octavia’s breathing was still a little erratic, but was amazed when Octavia managed to choke out, “HO— Holy shit, Anya. Wha-what was… that?”

Anya just chuckled, burying her face against Octavia’s neck again as she haughtily replied, “Ha… just the beginning, gorgeous… just the start of what’s to come…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... My work schedule takes a bit of a shift after this coming weekend, moving from second shift to first shift, so the beginning of the week may be a little rough for getting another chapter out. I have a few hours left before going into work today, so hopefully, I can finish the next chapter up today as well, and give you all something to tide you over for a while.
> 
> Until then... Cheers!


	17. The AMG

At 1:37pm, Abby settled in at her desk, intent on checking her email and catching up on some paperwork, or as much as she could before her next surgery, when Thelonious Jaha, ducked his head in through her office door. She could tell by the sugary-sweet smile on his face that he needed something, but that didn’t stop her from groaning as he said, “Abby, I have a big favor to ask.”

“What is it, Thelonious? You know I have an appendectomy scheduled at 2:30, so if it’s gonna take longer than just a few minutes, you’ll have to ask someone else to do it,” Abby replied dryly, because the last thing she needed was to get behind schedule. She didn’t even want to think about why, even though she couldn’t stop herself from doing just that. Running late at work, meant she would be late to meet Raven and she was already uneasy enough about their pseudo-date to add being late to the mix. She didn’t realize it, but her eyes had wandered back down to her computer as thoughts of Raven invaded her mind, for what felt like the hundredth time.

Thelonious cleared his throat from across from her though, and her eyes flashed up to meet his again. “It’s about that actually. I, uh, I need you to take Dr. Tsing’s place with Senator Wallace this afternoon instead,” he uttered quietly, and for just a second Abby thought she didn’t hear him right, but as he continued she began to fully grasp the situation, “She’s, she’s had a… No one’s exactly sure what happened. She’s in ICU now, unconscious, but her vitals are steady. I looked over the chart, and it seems to me like maybe she had a seizure.”

Feeling her eyes widening as Thelonious spoke, Abby was dumbfounded. From the things she’d heard, Dr. Lorelai Tsing was one of the top surgical oncologists in the country. Her research into new bone marrow treatments had been published in every major medical journal. It was no small secret that she’d graduated top of class from both Harvard and Johns Hopkins too. Abby felt like she wasn’t a slouch when it came to her schooling, or her job, graduating from the University of California at the top of her own class, but Dr. Tsing was a focused surgeon, specializing in a specific type of surgery and treatment. It was insane, what Thelonious was suggesting, that she take over a surgery that she had no time to prepare for, but she could tell by the tone in his voice that he was deadly serious. “Thelonious, I-” Abby began, only to choke on her words, her mind focusing again, on what this change in plans would really mean. She would undoubtedly be late to meet Raven if she went through with the surgery. With the desperation of situation right in front of her though, she forced herself to push those thoughts aside and tried again, simply asking, “Are you sure this is alright with the Senator?”

She watched as Thelonious’ features softened a little, a little something secretive dancing behind his eyes as he replied, “The Senator and his family have been advised of the situation and when I asked if Senator Wallace wanted to reschedule, his son mentioned your name. I can’t think of anyone else I would trust with this, Abby.”

Despite his vote of confidence, Abby didn’t feel very self-assured. “Sir, I-” she began again, but Thelonious didn’t let her continue, interrupting her mid-sentence, saying, “Abby, I understand your reservations, but let me finish. This is only the initial surgery in his treatment plan. All Dr. Tsing was set to do today was install a pacemaker to get Senator Wallace through an extended surgery scheduled two months from now. You’ve done this same surgery six times in the last month alone. It should be just as straight forward as all those others.”

He paused to take a breath and Abby saw her opportunity and butted back in, saying, “ _Should_ being the operative word in that sentence, Thelonious.” She wanted to say more but when that sickly, sweet smile crept over his features again, she drew up short, waiting for his rebuttal.

“As always, CCMC will assume all malpractice liability,” Thelonious said then, and Abby could tell he was sizing her up for something. She didn’t have to wait long for hi to lay it on her either, as he pressed on, “Is it that he’s a Senator, or is there something else on your mind?”

Abby wanted to protest, but she knew better. Thelonious Jaha was nothing if not persistent, so instead of making a big deal about it, she just gave in, quickly explaining, “Well, now that you mention it, I was planning to meet, uh, a friend after my last surgery today. We’re supposed to be meeting for a late dinner around 8:30.” She stuttered over who she was meeting, ultimately deciding he didn’t need to know, but part of her wanted to explain that part anyway. She wanted to tell him that this thing she had with Raven was tenuous at best and that they needed some time to work out what they were going to do about. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if there was something to work out to begin with. She just knew that they couldn’t leave things the way they were, because she felt like if they didn’t resolve some of the tension between them she would never be able to keep herself from asking; _What if?_

Thelonious’ voice broke her from her thoughts once again, when she heard him say, “The procedure is scheduled to begin at four o’clock and should only take 3 hours, which means you’ll have plenty of time to meet your _friend_.”

Weighing his words for a moment, Abby wasn’t sure what to think. The not-so-subtle way he emphasized the word _friend_ made her a little uncomfortable, but as she replayed it in her head she noticed it. There was that word again… _should._ She knew he was putting a lot of trust in her though, and honestly, doing the chief of surgery a favor could only work to her advantage in the future. She also knew that if she did refuse, the Senator would be forced to reschedule. A delay like this could possibly put his life in danger. Curious as what his prognosis actually was, she simply said, “I’ll need to see Senator Wallace’s file.”

Thelonious’ smile widened as he produced said file from behind his back. Abby should have noticed his body language earlier, should have noticed he was hiding something. She couldn’t chastise herself too much for the blatant oversight, not with how distracted she felt. Instead, she reached across and took the file from him when he offered it to her. She laid it open on her desk and immediately began pouring over it. With all the new information right in front of her, Abby became fixated. She’d read some of Dr. Tsing’s research, casually anyway, but seeing an actual patient file, detailing Dr. Tsing’s intended treatment plan, Abby couldn’t help but be impressed. Dr. Tsing was planning to use modified donor bone marrow to try to cure a rare form of Leukemia, one that didn’t respond well to standard transfusions. It was an ambitious undertaking, but if it worked, it would change the way modern medicine looked at treating all forms of Leukemia. It was so fascinating that she barely acknowledged Thelonious as he left her office a minute or two later. Resigned to her fate, she prepared as best she could with the notes at hand and then went off to prep herself for surgery.

At 4:07pm, Abby walked into Senator Wallace’s operating room, confident and cool, ready to use the skills she’d spent most of her adult life perfecting. She wasn’t trying to save his life, but she could at least give him a chance for a future. At 4:48pm, Abby walked back out again, her hands shaking and her breathing ragged. Senator Dante Wallace had died on the operating table, barely fifteen minutes into the procedure. One second his heart was beating, the next it wasn’t, and despite her best efforts, it never started to pump on its own again.

In a daze, Abby trudged her way to her office and once inside, immediately slumped into her desk chair. She cradled her head in her shaking hands, her elbows resting on her desk trying to keep herself upright. She choked back the sobbing tears that were threatening to escape, but she knew eventually there’d be no stopping them. She went back over every single moment in that operating room in her mind. She’d barely even gotten started. She hadn’t done anything wrong; no excessive bleeding, no known complications with anesthesia, no nothing. She hadn’t even gotten to his heart with her instruments before his heartrate had flatlined. She watched it in her mind’s eye, as she had tried every heroic measure known to man to bring his heart back online. Only when Nurse McIntyre’s hands had clasped over her own, did Abby look up from her fruitless chest compressions to find everyone else in the room looking at the floor, their own hands clutched tightly together in front of them. She looked back at her patient then, staring blankly at his unmoving face for a few long moments, before she had choked out, “Official time of death… 4:46pm.”

Secure in the solitude of her office, it was the mental image of his lifeless face that finally brought the tears Abby had been fighting to the surface. She choked and sobbed; simply, broke for a man she’d never even met before, not when he was alive and awake anyway. The knock at her office door didn’t break her from her misery and only when someone was standing right beside her, did she flinch away from the presence, feeling as if she’d been burned. She was thankful when whoever it was didn’t immediately reach out to physically comfort her, but when she sensed Anya’s most calming pheromones, she sighed, her body involuntarily reacting to Anya’s loaned strength. She could feel Anya hesitating beside her though, until Anya finally whispered, “Abby, do you wanna talk about it?”

All Abby could do was shake her head at first, but when Anya settled in to wait, she heaved another heavy sigh and said, “A man died in my O.R. not twenty minutes ago, Anya. There’s nothing to talk about… I mean, I did everything right… Hell, I’d barely even gotten started on the procedure before, before his heart just gave out. And I— I just couldn’t get him back… I tried and tried and tried and nothing… He’s just… dead.”

Heaving sob as Anya’s hand came to rest on her shoulder, Abby shuddered under the touch, but didn’t jerk away, she owed Anya more than that. It was comforting, the simple physical touch, and Abby began to relax a little as Anya whispered, “It’s ok, Abby. I’m sure it wasn’t your fault. Sometimes people react badly to anesthesia, right? Their organs can’t handle the stress of surgery?” Abby only nodded, slumping her head back against her hands. It was quiet for a moment and Abby knew Anya wasn’t really sure what else to say, but eventually Anya pushed on anyway, “I mean… you can’t blame yourself. You have to try to let this unearned guilt go.”

Chuckling dryly at Anya’s words, Abby raised her head to meet Anya’s steady gaze. “You’re right, but that doesn’t mean that’s an easy thing to do,” she managed to choke out, pausing to fight down another sob, before she murmured, “The worst part, the most selfish part of all, is that I’m going to ruin my evening Raven. I’m supposed to pick her up in a few hours and I’m not gonna be able to think about anything except Senator Wallace’s motionless face.” She began to break down again and she didn’t even think about protesting when Anya slid in close and cradled her shoulders with her arm.

Eventually, Abby felt her breathing began to normalize, having pretty much cried herself out. She was numb by the time Anya pulled back to give her some space, but she could tell from the pregnant silence between them that Anya was working herself up for something. She didn’t push, knowing Anya would say whatever she felt like she needed to, and finally, Anya whispered, “Abby, look at me.” Abby didn’t want to, certain that she looked like an utter mess, but she also knew Anya wasn’t the type to take no for an answer, so she eventually met Anya’s eyes again. The look she found there was the softest expression she had ever seen on her friend’s face. It was almost off-putting, but Abby managed to focus as Anya continued, “You are amazing surgeon, Abby… but sometimes there are things you can’t control, and you have to let those things go. You have to trust that all things happen for a reason.”

If Abby had a list of things she was expecting Anya to say, that sentiment would have been at the bottom; maybe it wouldn’t have even been on the list at all. She certainly hadn’t expected Anya to be quite so nonchalant about it, and her eyes slammed shut, as a sudden memory flashed through her mind; Anya, snarling, totally bereft in her grief, raging at Abby to save Costia. Before she could stop herself, Abby bitterly spat, “Yeah, right, you were singing a different tune when I couldn’t save Costia, screaming at me to _get back in there and fix it_. You would think Costia had been yours instead of Lexa’s by the way you reacted that day.”

Anya growled lowly at her, obviously upset that Abby was throwing that in her face after so long, but Abby couldn’t bring herself to feel anything at all at that point, much less feel bad for needling her friend so harshly. She was surprised though, when Anya’s growl tapered off a moment later, only to be replaced by a low groan. She looked back up at Anya then, catching her eyes just as Anya softly said, “I’m sorry, Abby. I know I’ve said it before, but I am sorry for how I acted that day. I’m ashamed that I didn’t have better control over myself. I know now there was absolutely nothing more you could have done for Costia, just like I know there’s nothing you could have done for Senator Wallace either.”

Trying to absorb Anya’s words, Abby was surprised when some of them managed to sink in. She had tried everything she could possibly imagine when she had tried to save Costia’s life, and she had afforded Dante Wallace that same attention and perseverance and dedication. A former mentor’s words flashed through her mind then, ‘You can’t save every life, but that doesn’t mean you don’t try with every single one anyway.’ She took comfort in the familiar cadence of those words and some of the tension in her body, and mind, was relieved by the notion. She still took several more, deep breaths before she felt she could speak again. Coughing as she spoke anyway, she finally said, “No, I-I’m sorry, A-nya. I— I shouldn’t be taking my grief out on you. I know how bad you feel about the way we started our friendship and I shouldn’t’ve brought it up.”

The tension in Abby’s shoulders finally slacked as Anya gave them a light squeeze before she straightened and stood. “It’s ok, Abby. We all say things we don’t mean when we’re upset. You don’t hold mine against me, and I won’t hold yours against you,” Anya said easily then, only pausing for a second before quickly adding, “You shouldn’t hold this against yourself either.”

Nodding, Abby smiled weakly as she looked up at her friend once more, sure her eyes were red and swollen, mascara runny and eyeliner streaked across her cheeks, but she knew Anya would judge her for it. “I can’t make any promises about that, Anya. I’m afraid I’ve already ruined my evening with Raven and I haven’t even gotten there yet,” she uttered, straining as a round of fresh tears glistened in her eyes.

“Abby, just be up front with Raven. Tell her what happened and see if she still wants to go out… if you still want to see her that is,” Anya explained, and Abby took comfort again in Anya’s easy rationality, thinking maybe Anya was right. She should just call Raven and explain and take it from there.

Just the thought of being surrounded by noisy people, eating and talking and laughing, unsettled her though, and she ended up blurting out, “I definitely don’t feel like going out to dinner right now.”

There was only a moment’s hesitation before Anya easily replied, “Well, then see if she wants to come back to yours and order delivery.”

Seriously contemplating that idea, Abby had to admit that whatever happened with Raven that night would probably best be done in private. Another image flashed through her mind then; sitting on the couch, eating take-out, sharing a moment of domestic peace with someone else. She felt warm just thinking about it. Now that she was thinking actually about it, the idea grew more enticing with every subsequent image that played through her head; snuggling on the couch, a movie playing on the TV in the background as they talked about what they were doing, relaxing through the conversation instead of rushing. She couldn’t help how dreamy her voice sounded as she finally replied, “Yeah, Anya, I think you may have something there.”

Anya’s own reply came swiftly on the heels of her words, jolting Abby back to the present, as she heard Anya say, “Good, I’ll feel a lot better knowing you’re not going to be alone tonight.” Abby’s brow furrowed when she looked up and found Anya shuffling her feet a little. Anya’s voice sounded almost nervous as she added, “I, uh, I’m sorry Abby, but I’m going to have to be selfish now. I have a little over an hour to get home, get showered and changed before I have to leave to pick up Octavia for our date. Are you, uh, are you gonna to be ok if I head out?”

Quickly smiling, Abby waving her hands in the air in a wide shooing motion and said, “Yes, go, get out of here, Anya… I’ll be ok, I promise.”

Anya started to make her way towards the door, and Abby watched as she made to leave the room, but Anya turned back at the doorway to say, “Promise to call if you need anything?”

Abby could see the war brewing in Anya’s eyes at that, both wanting to be a good friend, but also praying Abby wouldn’t need anything. She simply chuckled, knowing she couldn’t do that to Anya and said, “Don’t worry, Anya, I won’t call. I know you have big plans tonight and I won’t ruin that for you.” She paused to take in one more steadying breath before she repeated, “I’ll be ok, I promise…”

 

~~~

 

The text Raven had been dreading all day, came at ten minutes to six. She knew Abby wasn’t supposed to be picking her up for more than two hours, so her phone buzzing in her back pocket meant Abby had to be canceling. She didn’t even want to look at it, but she knew that would be the childish thing to do, to just ignore it and hope it went away. She sucked in a deep breath as she pulled out her phone, keeping her eyes closed as she unlocked it. Sighing, she opened her eyes, and Abby’s message was there waiting for her, simply, ‘Hey, can you talk right now?’

Blinking at the message in confusion, Raven was stunned, but then it dawned on her. Abby wanted her to talk to her, and not wanting to make Abby wait, she quickly clicked on Abby’s contact information and hit call. She wasn’t surprised when the phone only rang once before Abby answered, a hint of dread in her voice as Abby said, “Hey…”

‘Shit, she’s still canceling,’ Raven thought quickly as she took in Abby’s saddened tone, only barely managing to offer a “Hey,” of her own.

Her throat felt suddenly tight with emotion and Raven had to swallow to keep herself from whimpering. When Abby’s voice came down the line, that feeling only got worse as Abby said, “Raven, about tonight… I, uh…”

Raven could tell Abby’s voice was just tight as her own, but she felt she didn’t have to be let down easy. She was a big girl and she could take it, so she interrupted, blurting out, “It— It’s ok Abby, we can just forget about tonight if you want. I… I—"

She didn’t know what she was planning to say after that, but luckily, Abby immediately broke back in, crying out, “No! No, Raven. That’s not what I was going to say. I— I’d still very much like to see you, but I lost a patient today and I… I’m not really in the mood to go out for dinner. The idea of trying to act normal in front of a bunch of people sounds daunting at best, terrifying at worst… So, I wanted to see what you thought about coming back to my place and ordering in, instead. I know it’s not a fancy dinner or anything, but—”

It took Raven a moment to really understand what Abby was saying, but when she figured it out, she couldn’t stop herself from interrupting again, saying, “Abby… Of course, I’d be thrilled to order in with you. All I care about is getting to see you, I don’t really care how.”

Hearing Abby sigh in relief, Raven knew instantly that she’d said the right thing. She didn’t know what else to say, but at least she’d gotten that right. It was another moment or two before she heard Abby take in a big breath, so she held anything else she might have said, in favor of trying to listen instead. “I’ve, uh, I’ve only got a little paperwork to finish up before I’m done for the day, so… would it be alright if I picked you up earlier than we had originally planned?” Abby asked tentatively, and Raven’s heart swelled.

She glanced down at the light layer of grease and grime on her hands and arms, before she excitedly replied, “That sounds great... I can be ready in ten or fifteen minutes if I just, uh, catch a bird bath in the work sink.” She choked on her own words a little there, realizing she’d just made the dumbest joke she’d ever heard, and about her own name even. She groaned internally when Abby began to laugh, but Raven couldn’t help but to find the sound soothing, rapidly easing her anxiety. She laughed, too, if even a little nervously, before she corrected herself, “What I meant was, that I’ve managed not to get super gross at work today and I can just wash up in the sink, and be ready in no time.”

There was a long silence then and Raven thought for a second her phone had lost connection or something, but then Abby choked out, “Well if… if you, uh, change your mind, you could— could always use my shower, you know… if you wanted.”

Raven’s eyes widened at the idea of being naked and in Abby’s shower. She couldn’t not think about Abby in there with her, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up about that; not yet anyway. She forced herself to focus instead, replying as easily as she could, “I appreciate the offer, and I may take you up on that. Well, ok, I’m gonna finish up her real quick, and then freshen up.”

“Ok, I’ll see you in about a half hour or so, then?” Abby replied happily and suddenly Raven felt like she couldn’t wait.

When Abby pulled up, 28 minutes later, Raven was already standing on the sidewalk waiting for her. At the first glimpse of Abby’s car, she glanced down at her hands one last time, to triple check that she’d gotten all the grease and grime off. Her clothes weren’t a problem at least, because she’d at least had the sense to change those. A pair of clean, tight jeans hugged her hips and thighs just right, and a simple, black tank top covered her chest, her favorite poufy sleeved red jacket over top of that. She hadn’t taken the time to do anything with her hair, other than to re-tie it up in a high pony tail. She felt like she looked acceptable, even if she’d only put in minimal effort.

When the car finally came to a stop, and Abby hustled out of the car, emerging in a rush through the driver’s door, Raven clenched her fists at her sides. It was all she could do to keep herself from rushing around the car to get to Abby, desperate to touch her and hold her and kiss her. Abby started moving around the front of the car, her urgency just as clear, and Raven let herself be drawn in as well. Meeting somewhere in the middle, Raven easily wrapped her arms around Abby’s neck, and she sighed when she felt Abby’s arms wrap around her waist. They both clutched at each other then, their grips equally as desperate. Raven burrowed her face into Abby’s neck and shoulder, as Abby pulled them closer together too. They both sighed into the embrace then, and Raven reeled at the feeling, relief flooding through her as she took in Abby’s soothing scent. Raven recovered her senses fairly quickly though, and feeling a bit bold, pulled back slightly from Abby’s neck and pushed up on her good leg, leaning heavily into Abby as she placed a delicate kiss to Abby’s cheek, whispering against her skin, “I’m… I’m so glad you’re here, Abby.” She felt Abby go totally rigid when her lips met skin again, and Raven immediately started pulling back, thinking she’d pushed too far, but when she looked into Abby’s face, it was obvious Abby was thinking about her lips. The way Abby glanced down at them every few seconds was a dead giveaway, but Raven couldn’t help but coyly ask, “So… I guess you like them, huh?”

Abby just stood there for a second, staring at her lips, eyebrows raising at her words. Raven knew it was now or never and quickly flicked her tongue out to wet her lips, hoping Abby would take the hint. And, take it she did, because before Raven could even draw breath, Abby bent forward and captured Raven’s lips with her own, kissing Raven like she needed it more than she needed air. Raven could only gasp into the kiss, mouth opening wide, but she sighed happily when Abby seized the opportunity, Abby’s tongue sweeping out over her bottom lip, before plunging hungrily into her mouth. The heat of Abby’s kiss had Raven immediately clamping her lips down around Abby’s tongue, suckling the strong muscle, teasingly stroking it with her own tongue. Abby gasped then, essentially tearing her tongue free from Raven’s grip, but Raven didn’t let up though. She was desperate to feel more of Abby’s mouth on her own, greedily driving her tongue own into Abby’s mouth again, running it over the roof of Abby’s mouth with a quick flick. Raven moaned as Abby’s hands shot up to cup her cheeks, holding them together for a long moment.

Eventually, they had to break apart however, both desperate for air, but despite her panting, Raven pushed back in for a moment more, briefly pressing their lips together once again. This time it was more innocent, but Raven could tell Abby sensed the meaning behind it. Raven was trying to say a thousand things at once in that kiss and when Abby responded with a breathy, relaxed sigh, Raven felt overwhelmed by the tenderness between them.

Trying to catch her breath, Raven rested her forehead against Abby’s, relishing in the weight of Abby’s hands still cupping her face. A calm silence settled between them and for just a few moments Raven was content to just stand there and enjoy the closeness. Ultimately, Abby broke the silence, whispering a hair’s breadth away from Raven’s lips, “Yeah, I-I definitely do.” Raven still didn’t quite know how to feel about everything, but she did know that kissing Abby had instantly risen to the top of her list of favorite things to do. While she had dreamed about what it would be like to taste Abby’s lips, those dreams were nothing compared to the real thing. Abby’s flavor and ardor ignited things inside her she had thought were burned up long ago. In just one kiss, she knew she was already addicted to the taste and feel of Abby’s lips moving against her own. Even as she thought, ‘There’s no going back from this. We’re probably gonna crash and burn someday,’ she couldn’t stop herself from pushing back in for one more, gentle peck. She smiled into the kiss, as her mind added, ‘Maybe, somehow, we’ll survive the descent, anyway.’

So caught up in Abby, Raven had barely noticed the tingling in her good leg as they kissed, but when a sharp twinge of pain shot down her leg, she was forced to shift, rocking her weight onto her bad leg for a moment. That only hurt worse, but even still, Raven tried to hide it. Abby seemed to notice anyway though, moving her hands back down to Raven’s waist to support some of her weight as she quietly asked, “Are you ready to go?”

Nodding dreamily, Raven sank into Abby’s comfortable embrace. She pushed forward slightly, silently hoping Abby would kiss her again, and a moment later, she was rewarded for her boldness. Abby’s hands slid down to grasp her hips, and Raven went willingly as Abby pulled them in to a slow, passionate kiss. Raven took advantage too, this time flicking her own tongue along Abby’s bottom lip, before drawing it between her lips. She suckled at it, and gave it a roll of her teeth, quickly releasing it when Abby gasped into her mouth again. She pulled back slightly, Abby gaping at her and Raven tried not to look too smug. Raven had noticed how Abby’s pheromones had skyrocketed when she had sucked on Abby’s tongue. When Raven introduced teeth into their kiss, the scent that poured off Abby then was like nothing Raven had ever experienced. She clutched tightly at Abby’s neck, afraid that her legs would actually give out underneath her; her good leg feeling suddenly that much weaker.

The bewildered look on Abby’s face didn’t last long though, and Raven almost whined when Abby shifted her hands back up to Raven’s waist and started pushing away slightly. Despite wanting to just be closer to Abby, Raven reluctantly complied to Abby’s unspoken request and pulled away as well. Just when their skin wasn’t touching anymore, Abby murmured in a husky whisper, “yeah, we should go before I lose control over myself, right here on the street.”

Groaning, Raven was sorely tempted to see how far she could actually push Abby before she ‘lost control,’ but instead she simply nodded and began moving towards Abby’s car. Abby was close behind her and when they reached the passenger’s side door at nearly the same time, Raven slowed so Abby could open the door for her and help her inside. It went against her very nature but feeling Abby’s hand slid across her shoulders was worth it. The car door closed then, and as Abby crossed in front of the car, Raven couldn’t help but stare. She thought Abby was the epitome of cool, easy grace, and solid, unadulterated strength all at the same time. She moved like a dancer, gliding over the ground. There was a certain type of confidence to the way Abby moved, one that drove a harsh shiver down Raven’s spine. Before she was really ready for that moment to end though, Abby was sliding into the driver’s seat. Raven suddenly felt her palms go sweaty, and though she didn’t mean to, she blurted out, “Really, Abby? An AMG? Are you sure you’re not compensating for something?”

Abby’s laugh was abnormally loud and almost uncomfortable, and Raven could see Abby’s fingers clutching tightly around the steering wheel. Raven’s heart dropped as Abby looked away, obvious shame layering Abby’s words as she muttered, “I wouldn’t— wouldn’t know…”

Wincing, Raven knew she hadn’t just stuck her foot in her mouth but had swallowed the whole thing in the process. She immediately apologized, sputtering as she said, “Oh, I’m… I’m sorry, Abby. I, uh, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

Raven began curling in on herself then, when Abby didn’t respond, but her despair was short lived when Abby slid her hand across the center console and reached into Raven’s lap. Abby grasped Raven’s hand tightly in her own and Raven couldn’t help the way her eyes flashed up then, hope swelling inside her when Abby finally said, “I know you didn’t, Raven. I— I know you meant it to be a joke. I just… I’m just a little sensitive about _that_ , you know?”

Understanding, Raven nodded, but then Abby pulled away, quickly cranking the car and shifting it into gear, and Raven had bite back a whine at the loss. A contented sigh escaped instead though, released with a deep hum, when Abby re-took her hand a moment later. Abby’s touch, it was like a cold glass of water on a hot day, and Raven realized instantly that she didn’t ever want to give it up. She closed her fingers around Abby’s hand and squeezed, feeling even more relieved when Abby rushed to re-maneuver her hand, entwining their fingers together. Raven breathed deep, just appreciating the feeling for a moment or two. In the silence, she couldn’t stop herself from wondering if Abby was dwelling on her bad joke though, and immediately felt the need to apologize again, hurriedly saying, “Abby, I really am sorry. I… I want you to know you’re, uh, inexperience, as it were, is not a bad thing… not at all.” She hesitated, not wanting to put too much pressure on Abby, but decided that if she was going to have this, if they were going to have this, she needed to be up front about everything she was thinking and feeling. “I mean, I kinda like the idea that I might be y-your first, you know. I just… I don’t want you to think that you’re not the kindest, smartest, sexiest alpha I’ve ever met,” Raven added in another rush of words, blushing hotly when she realized what she was really suggesting. They hadn’t even talked about what they were doing or where this might be going, and here she was suggesting that she and Abby would be sharing a heat at some point. She couldn’t take the words back though, so she waited with bated breath for some kind of response from Abby.

In the several, long, silent seconds that followed Raven simply watched Abby’s face, smiling when Abby’s cheeks turned the rosiest of reds at the compliment. She thought she saw the briefest of flinches in her face though, and Raven worried for a second Abby might rebuke her statement. Abby simply squeezed their fingers together a little tighter instead, and said, “Thank you, Raven. You sure know how to make me feel good about myself, but I have to say that the feelings mutual. In all my years, I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”

Chuckling hard then, Raven was a little surprised by the sincerity she could hear in Abby’s voice. All the emotions swirling inside her made it hard to respond, but she jokingly choked out, “Than-Thanks, Abby. I mean, I am awesome, right?”

Abby’s soft laugh was one of the best things she’d ever heard, and Abby’s fingers squeezed her own a little tighter again, as they pulled up to a stoplight. When Abby half turned towards her, Raven’s breath caught in her throat, the light glittering in Abby’s eyes making them look like gold in the dying sunlight. Raven felt Abby tug at her hand, as she started to lean in, and Raven easily closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss. When Abby finally said, “You are awesome, Raven and I… I can’t wait to learn all the reasons why,” Raven’s heart melted.

A horn blew behind them, and Abby’s AMG took off like a shot through the green light. The G-force threw Raven back in her seat, but secretly, she loved it. Abby behind the wheel of such a powerful machine was definitely more arousing than Raven would care to admit. She tried to push those thoughts aside as she settled into her seat, pulling Abby’s hand further across her lap, so she could hug Abby’s arm with her other hand. She leaned her head against Abby’s shoulder too, watching Abby in silence for a few minutes as Abby drove. There were traffic lights, and some actual traffic too, but Abby made it look effortless, guiding them along with only one hand on the wheel. Raven became fixated on Abby’s slim, deft fingers, watching them as they occasionally twiddled against the leather covered wheel, dancing to the tune of whatever song was playing lowly over the radio. The way Abby waggled them had Raven wondering what it would feel like to have those fingers dance across her skin. She sighed happily as that fantasy unfolded in her mind, and she let herself drift in the visions of those fingers brushing over her collarbone, down her sides, over her ribs, over her breasts. When those visions became significantly more heated though, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, suddenly realizing she was slick already. All they had done was hold hands and kiss a few times, but Raven had no doubt that Abby would ruin her, if Abby were to ever drum those deft fingers over her body instead of that steering wheel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... today was especially productive. Two chapters up and another proofed half-way through... Look for chapter 18 probably before Monday!


	18. The Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a snow day! Well... it snowed six inches last night and they gave us the morning off. So, here's Chapter 18...

When she felt Clarke’s teeth again, digging harshly into the side of her throat, Lexa just snapped. She hastily forced Clarke off of her and over onto her back, snarling in Clarke’s face as she went. She quickly pinned Clarke’s roaming hands above her head too, holding them down at the wrist. Clarke’s throaty moan only encouraged her, and she instantly pressed her teeth against the already dark mark on the side of Clarke’s neck, growling “Mine!” into the trembling surface. She dug her teeth in then, and she delighted in the way Clarke’s breath caught at the squeeze. Lexa thought she felt Clarke nodding against the side of her head, but by then, Clarke’s whole body was trembling, so it was hard to be sure. Not wanting to continue without more explicit permission though, Lexa pulled her mouth away, pressing her nose in against Clarke’s scent instead and whispered the word again, this time much more like the question it was, “mine?”

Clarke’s husky voice sounded out only a second later as she whispered back, “yes, god please, lexa, yes.” It felt good to hear Clarke’s pleading, like being with Lexa was the only thing in the world that mattered to her. With permission granted and her more possessive instincts satisfied, Lexa purred, finally licking the swollen flesh of Clarke’s throat, trying to soothe the ache she was sure Clarke was feeling. Clarke jerked and pitched beneath her as her tongue trailed over the mistreated flesh, and for a moment, Lexa was worried that maybe she’d bitten too hard. When she pulled back to check, Clarke’s needy whines said otherwise. Lexa quickly leaned back in, placing a few more, aggressive nips at Clarke’s shoulder before eventually pulling away altogether, propping herself up over Clarke to try to get her bearings.

Staring down at Clarke below her, Lexa was amazed by how beautiful Clarke looked. Her hair was splayed out over the pillows in a sweaty heap, her head was tilted to the side with her neck exposed, muscles straining in her submission. It was surely a sight to behold, but Clarke’s rough panting made Lexa’s veins surge with adrenaline. Obviously, Clarke needed her, and Lexa wasn’t going to disappoint her omega. She squeezed roughly at Clarke’s wrists, drawing a sharp, choked moan from Clarke’s already parted lips. She knew Clarke wanted it rough, that had been the whole point of Clarke’s little biting game, but Lexa also suspected Clarke’s heat was running rampant inside her again, driving her with a need to be filled, a need to be taken and claimed. Lexa smirked, dreaming of hitting Clarke so deep and hard that Clarke would feel it for a week.

A sudden thought hit her, and Lexa wondered why it had taken her so long to realize that there was something they hadn’t done yet. Once she imagined it though, she couldn’t think of anything else she wanted more. She knew she could really give it to Clarke the way she wanted, if Clarke would fully submit to her and present herself to be mounted. Lexa faltered when she tried to speak, wanting to suggest just that, but when she opened mouth, all that came out was a harsh croak. Clarke looked up at her in confusion, obviously curious, but Lexa just couldn’t make the words come out. She wasn’t really the type to be selfish and demanding, especially when it came sex, but it seemed that was exactly what Clarke wanted. Of course, Lexa had always tried to keep that image up, tried to seem brooding and unreachable, at least, with the majority of the people she knew. With strangers she tried even harder, but truly, Lexa was more a lover than a fighter. It seemed if she really was going to satisfy Clarke, she needed to embrace her egotistical side. She swallowed hard against her not-unexpectedly dry throat and attempted to pour some alpha influence into her voice, as she boldly husked, “R-roll over for me… Elbows and knees.”

Clarke’s hips bucked up at the demand, and Lexa almost laughed as Clarke scrambled in her eagerness to comply. Clarke slid out of Lexa’s already loosening hold, and instantly flipped herself over. Lexa felt her mouth drop open at the sight in front of her then, Clarke’s hips wiggling as she scooted up towards the headboard, assuming the position Lexa had commanded. She gaped as Clarke spread her knees, her sex beginning to drip the second her thighs parted. For a moment, Lexa was completely mesmerized by it. She had assumed Clarke would be wet, her scent certainly alluded to that, but Lexa couldn’t believe just how wet Clarke was for her, without Lexa even touching her. ‘All that just from giving me a blow job,’ Lexa thought as she scooched her way up the bed. True, it had been a really intense orgasm for Lexa, but she couldn’t help but be enthralled by the evidence in front of her, of just how much Clarke had enjoyed it as well. She wanted to appreciate the sight a bit longer, but Clarke let out a mewling whimper at her hesitation and Lexa quickly sidled up behind her omega, gripping Clarke’s hips hard with one hand as she lined herself up with Clarke’s drowning sex with the other.

There would be no gentle, tentative slipping inside this time. She could feel how much Clarke needed her, Clarke’s folds fluttering against her tip the second she made contact. The tension was as thick as Clarke’s scent in the air, and Lexa knew once they got started, she wouldn’t be able to hold back. She also knew Clarke wouldn’t be able to stand up against her onslaught once she really got going, so she growled, “Hands on the headboard, now!” She smiled as Clarke’s hands shot out to grip the craved wooden surface, elongating her body before Lexa’s eyes. She shuffled Clarke’s knees a little further apart too, putting Clarke in a slightly awkward position, but that was just how Lexa wanted her. Her instincts howled inside her, and for once, she embraced them. Suddenly, she wanted Clarke prone before her, at her mercy, and she grinned at the way Clarke was willingly giving herself over to her demands. Lexa hesitated only a second longer before pushing forward, sinking all the way inside her omega in one rough stroke.

 

~~~

 

Sucking in a harsh breath, Clarke wanted to scream. She couldn’t though, as she breath caught in her chest. In the blink of an eye, Lexa had slotted into her from behind, finally relieving that deep ache that had settled inside her bones. She groaned at the way Lexa filled her so well, but after only a single moment of quiet, a whole new desperation rose inside her. She needed Lexa to take her, to knot her, to come totally unhinged inside her. She needed to feel claimed in a way that made her skin burn and her nerves to tingle. She needed Lexa in the worst kind of way, selfish and possessive, forgoing all thoughts of Clarke’s pleasure. She wanted Lexa to just _use_ her; drive inside her like there would be no tomorrow. It was only the first thrust however, and Clarke already felt like her heart might explode because of how fast it was beating. She could feel Lexa’s hands digging into her hips, twitching with barely restrained power. She wanted that restraint gone though, five minutes ago, and so she arched her back, forcing her ass back into Lexa’s pelvis.

The extra stretch made her groan, but it wasn’t so loud that she didn’t hear Lexa growling behind. Clarke yelped as a hand pressed down on her tailbone, pinning her hips over her thighs. She couldn’t deny that she loved drawing this side of Lexa out into the open. The barking, roaring alpha was just what she needed at the moment. It was especially gratifying that she was the one who could get such reactions from Lexa too, that she could inspire the normally endearing alpha into such a frenzy. Lexa was still just as charming, only in a different way, like how she sought Clarke’s permission before she was about to ravage her. It was those moments of tenderness that made the rough treatment all that much better when it finally came.

Whimpering as Lexa finally pulled her hips back, Clarke felt every slow second of the movement. Lexa’s shaft slid along her walls until only the bulbous head remained inside. She gritted her teeth as Lexa teased her then, pressing down harder on her ass as she swiveled her hips. The new movement caused the head of Lexa’s shaft to stretch her entrance almost past the point of comfort, but Clarke relished in it. The brief pain only seemed to sharpen her senses when Lexa finally plunged back in, taking her in another hard thrust. Relieved to finally be filled again, Clarke preened as Lexa began a slow, hard rhythm. Slam in, draw out, slam in, draw out; it was almost murderously slow, and then almost too fast at the same time. Lexa’s steady pace began to increase, drawing out faster and slamming back in even harder, and Clarke coughed out broken moans and half words, trying to beg Lexa to go harder, faster; to give her more, to give her _everything_.

Of course, Lexa seemed to understand every broken word though and began driving into her so hard Clarke feared her knees and elbows might give away under the pressure. The blistering pace and maddening pressure dragged more and more disjointed sounds from her throat, until she almost couldn’t breathe. With every stroke, the angle caused Lexa to hit deeper and deeper, and there was a moment where Clarke thought that Lexa couldn’t possibly get any deeper inside her. She was surprised though when the next thrust pushed Lexa all the way in to the pucker of her cervix. The filthy sound that pressed its way through her lips then seemed to only spur Lexa on too. The next thrust pounded at that same spot, and each thrust after that, battering against it, even harder and faster than before. The new, almost break-neck pace had Clarke crashing over the edge in mere moments, but Lexa didn’t let up. Clarke felt her limbs tremble and jerk, and she gasped as she began to collapse onto the bed. She felt Lexa’s arm slip down under her waist just as she was about to fall, and Lexa’s pace only faltered for a moment before she began jerking Clarke backwards, pulling her up into each thrust.

Clarke’s walls had barely slowed their fluttering from her first release before she was rocketing away towards, and through, her second and then an astounding third orgasm. Lexa was relentless, driving into her with absolutely no hesitation at all. She was like a rutting animal, growling and grunting and grabbing. Clarke loved every, single second. There was a frenzy racing along under Lexa’s skin, blood pumping, adrenaline surging, instincts completely taking over. Clarke could feel it, quite vividly even, as Lexa twitched and pulsed inside her. Somewhere in the back of her heat-addled brain, she wondered why Lexa hadn’t come with her yet, but she was panting and gasping and moaning far too much to really put too much thought into it. Her insides rolled as Lexa’s length just continued to pound inside her, splitting her open, over and over again.

The pace slowed somewhat, eventually anyway; to be honest, Clarke wasn’t really sure where she even was anymore. When she felt Lexa’s hands slide around to roughly grip and squeeze at her ass, she arched into Lexa’s firm grasp anyway, just as eager to continue as she had been when they started. Lexa throbbed inside her at the movement, but then Lexa’s rough grip was gone, only to be quickly replaced by the stinging of a slap, as Lexa’s hand landed against her one of her cheeks. It wasn’t all bark either; the sting lingered and burned. She groaned into the competing sensations as Lexa began kneading the flesh again, helping her work through the bite of the pain, leaving her skin feeling blissfully heavy and warm. Clarke couldn’t help the lewd sounds that she was making in that moment, having lost all control over herself. The feeling of Lexa repeatedly spanking her ass actually relaxed her, because Lexa’s hand was there again every time, soothing the sting with firm squeezes or soft rubs. Clarke didn’t even care that there probably would be a bruise there when Lexa was done. She didn’t want Lexa to stop, not even when there was nothing left of her.

One particularly hard slap slipped across her sweat damp backside, and Clarke gasped, sagging forward when Lexa’s thumb slid in between her cheeks. When the tip of that thumb returned to rest against her pucker a moment later, her whole body jerked at the sensation. She didn’t get very far, as Lexa’s other hand held her in that firm grasp once again, but the slight pressure against her ass, in comparison to the throbbing pressure inside her, made Clarke’s whole body go rigid with pleasure. She’d never had anyone do anything like that to her before, and while she had found the thought of any kind of anal contact sort of off-putting before, now that she was actually experiencing it, she felt like the simple pressure wasn’t enough, not nearly enough. Her pulse quickened further when Lexa did begin to push down harder, forcing her back to curve at an almost unnatural angle. The sweat that had long since pooled in her lower back, quickly began running down towards her shoulders, and the new angle opened up a whole new avenue of stimulation. The tip of Lexa’s thumb slipped just inside her pucker, hooking down, and she wailed as that digit flexed and flowed inside her. Lexa’s thrusts increased once again as well, and before Clarke could even blink, she was close; too close, too fast, in fact, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. She gave herself over to it instead as her whole body stiffened, and her muscles trembled, and her pulse pounded. She couldn’t help it as she screamed into the mattress, “HA! Fuck! LEXA! Yes!”

 

~~~

 

Every muscle in Clarke’s body tensed all at once, and Lexa was forced to halt her thrusts as Clarke’s walls took a vise-like grip on her length. She groaned at the painful pleasure, both at the sensation and the cause of it. She wanted to keep going, keep driving Clarke over the edge again and again and again, until there was nothing left of either of them, but she sensed Clarke was nearing the edge of what she could take. When Clarke’s walls didn’t start fluttering around her, she removed herself from Clarke’s other entrance, however reluctantly, knowing Clarke was probably too overstimulated to keep going. She quickly wiped her hand on the sheets, figuring they were probably ruined anyway, and not caring if she made a bigger mess.

The feeling of Clarke contracting so tightly around her had distracted her from her effort to hold off her knot too, and as a result, she could feel it swelling, knowing it would soon stretch her skin until it felt paper thin. She allowed herself to be pushed out a bit, not wanting to pop her knot inside Clarke, especially after such roughness. The instant she pulled back though, she was already throbbing to be buried inside Clarke’s tight heat again. She felt the urge to push through that resistance she was feeling, to simply rut herself into Clarke with no concern for Clarke’s comfort, only in mindless fulfillment of her own needs. Despite her alpha’s demands, she managed to regain some control over her faculties though. She remained still for a long time, reaching under Clarke to slowly rub her clit until Clarke’s walls did start to flutter around her shaft. She sighed as she felt Clarke’s orgasm finally washing over her. Lexa burned with the need to come as Clarke’s walls massaged up and down her length in waves, but she felt like she just wasn’t quite there yet. Her chest swelled with pride anyway, as she enjoyed the sensations, grinning fiercely as Clarke mewled under her.

Clarke’s walls eventually slowed and calmed around her, as Clarke’s release finally tapered off. When she felt like she could move again, Lexa rolled her hips experimentally at first, just one tentative thrust to test how receptive Clarke was for more. She smiled as Clarke began to whirr, and she leaned down to pull Clarke’s limp body up, so they were both on their knees. Lexa didn’t mind supporting Clarke’s mostly dead weight either as she held her in her lap. The soft sounds that were escaping Clarke’s throat shored up her confidence. She began to pull Clarke down into her gradually increasing thrusts, drawing Clarke backwards at the same time, forcing Clarke to grind back against her now rock-solid knot. She couldn’t believe the sounds still coming out of Clarke’s mouth, the gasps and moans and groans, and eventually, screams. She just kept pumping up and pulling Clarke down, working her way further and further in with every rotation of her hips. She thighs burned, and her back ached, but she kept going, kept moving, knowing Clarke’s heat wouldn’t truly be sated again until Lexa’s knot was filling her completely, sealing them together.

Sensing Clarke would need more to push her over that edge again, Lexa slid her cleaner hand up to Clarke’s supple breasts and squeezed at them. Her grip was rough like she knew Clarke liked as she caught one nipple between her index and middle fingers, instantly pinching it to an almost torturous degree. Clarke jerked harshly against her, changing the angle of Lexa’s thrusts yet again, and Lexa sighed in relief, because after only a couple more pushes, Clarke’s sex flowered open and greedily accepted the bulging flesh of her knot. The warmth was overwhelming, nearly burning her skin, and as Clarke’s sex quivered and rolled and milked at her length again, Lexa thought she was about to fall into the best orgasm of her life; better than the incredible blow job Clarke had given her earlier, better than anything they had done so far. Despite the infuriating pounding, the aching fullness, the deep painful throbbing, Lexa found she just couldn’t come. Not that she didn’t want to, because she felt like she was right on the precipice, but it just wasn’t happening. She pumped her hips forward once again, not able to pull out far enough to get any real force behind it, but she couldn’t help chasing the satisfaction she was growing more and more desperate for anyway.

Clarke continued to mewl and cry out as she rocked forward for several more, shallow thrusts, but Lexa couldn’t stop herself from growling, beginning to feel frustrated. Her release still seemed so close, but she just couldn’t will it to happen. The violent tremors and rolling waves of Clarke’s insides were beginning to taper off, and suddenly Lexa could feel her orgasm slipping further and further away too. Eventually, she slowed her thrusts to a halt again, her body giving up on her, simply unable to keep going. Clarke’s body was still quivering and trembling against her too, almost uncontrollably, and Lexa decided she better lower Clarke back down to the bed before Clarke really became dead weight and slumped forward on her own. The possibility of tearing her way out of Clarke was too great in that scenario. She couldn’t risk hurting Clarke like that, so she gently urged Clarke forward, shifting carefully behind her until they were both settled on their sides. She kept her arms wrapped around Clarke’s waist too, holding Clarke tight against her body, supporting her. Clarke’s breaths were still firing rapidly, and Lexa kissed along the back of her neck and shoulder tenderly, hoping to help Clarke calm herself.

After several minutes of not moving, simply breathing, Clarke’s hips rolled back slightly, just once, and Lexa wasn’t expecting it. When Clarke’s walls squeezed tight around her again, Clarke’s shifting probably causing the involuntary spasm, Lexa couldn’t help but gasp. Her length pulsed, also just once, before her own orgasm surprised the absolute hell out of her. She roared behind Clarke, throwing her head back, as her body arched hard, taught muscles trembling, hands scrambling; gripping Clarke tightly as her hips jerked wildly of their own accord. Her release wasn’t as powerful as she the one she’d had earlier, but the utter shock of it, had Lexa screaming Clarke’s name as her shaft spat and surged and chugged inside her omega.

It was heaven, feeling Clarke wrapped around her, fluttering weakly as she emptied. It felt different though, Clarke arching back into her as well, accepting her and holding her and… loving her. A sudden rush of affection swelled inside her and the words Lexa had been trying not to say tripped right to the tip of her tongue. They were words that she knew it was too early to say, but that didn’t stop them from whispering inside her head anyway. When Clarke’s walls began to quiver around her, her release causing Clarke to tip over the edge one last time too, Lexa couldn’t choke back them anymore. They pushed their way out of her mouth in a choked shout, “CLARKE! Oh god, Clarke I… I think I— love— you—”

 

~~~

 

Feeling her eyes well up with unshed tears, Clarke simply lay held tight in Lexa’s embrace, Lexa’s length and knot still pulsing inside her, as her own release tapered off. She couldn’t really comprehend the words at first. She felt like she couldn’t really comprehend anything just then, too wrung out to think past: Breathe in, Breathe out. Lexa had ruined her, alright; Clarke hadn’t felt so completely and thoroughly fucked, well, ever. She was a little surprised she hadn’t blacked out. Feeling Lexa’s hands slid around her waist, Clarke whirred softly as her alpha pulled her ever closer. She felt Lexa’s breath, hot on her neck, but then there were lips too, leaving light little kisses everywhere they could reach. Clarke marveled again at how well they fit together, as Lexa kissed all along her neck and shoulder and part way down her arm, without shifting anything but her neck. She sighed heavily when Lexa’s mouth eventually trailed back up and found her scent gland.

As Lexa lightly suckled at the skin, Clarke could feel Lexa’s words echoing through her, entering where Lexa’s lips met her skin and ricocheting all the way to heart. They vibrated against her pulse, throbbing with every small movements of Lexa’s lips. ‘She loves me,’ ran giddily through Clarke’s mind then, like a little girl squealing about her first crush, and Clarke nearly squealed right along with the thought. She held it in though, if only barely. There was a seriousness to the situation that Clarke thought deserved more respect than that. Never before had she heard such sincerity, not from Lexa, or anyone else in her life. Her father had always said he loved her, and she believed him, her mother too, but that was a different kind of love. Finn had told her that once, but Clarke had always figured that was because he had been trying to get in her pants. So, when she finally fully comprehended what Lexa had said, it felt like no one had ever said those words to her before.

The vibrations that came through Lexa’s chest then, a deep bass-filled purr, shook Clarke from her thought. Lexa’s arms tightened around her, and Clarke snuggled in as close as she could get the sound. She buried herself in everything that Lexa was, praying she wasn’t just imagining things. Lexa whispered the words again though, right up against her ear, “I love you.” The tears that had filled Clarke’s eyes finally overflowed, running down her face and onto the pillow beneath her head. She sniffled slightly, unable to hold back the sound, too overwhelmed to be concerned about how her crying would be perceived.

Feeling Lexa flinch, Clarke whirred from deep in her chest, immediately regretting the slip, but at least the sound seemed to soothe Lexa somewhat. Lexa even shifted forward a little bit, obviously trying to immerse herself in the sound. Clarke whirred even louder too, the sound coming out more like a groan when the shifting caused Lexa’s shaft to pulse inside her again. She smiled as she felt Lexa sigh against her neck, and her own sex quivered and rolled with aftershocks around Lexa’s knot. The seemingly never-ending orgasm wasn’t helping her concentrate, but Clarke knew she needed to say something. She wanted to say it back, needed to say it back, but when she opened her mouth only a dry wheeze escaped. She swallowed against the dryness in her throat and tried to speak again, barely managing a husked whisper, as she said, “oh, lexa… I-I love you, too.”

Hearing those words returned seemed to send a surge through Lexa. Lexa’s scent swirled around them then, filling Clarke’s every pore. Clarke physically felt it too, as Lexa’s chest swelled against her back, their sweat slicked skin sliding slightly against each other. She was, again, overwhelmed by how natural this all felt, that Lexa could love her and that she could love Lexa back, so soon after meeting, so soon after everything. It should have been daunting, all these emotions so early, but Clarke felt it all the way down to her bone marrow; this alpha, _her alpha_ , holding her in her arms was it for her, everything for her. If Lexa was willing, and obviously she was, Clarke couldn’t and wouldn’t deny herself either. It felt like she had been waiting for Lexa, for this beautiful, sensitive, strong alpha to swoop in and ruin her against all others, and that was exactly what had happened. She couldn’t imagine a day where she wouldn’t love loving Lexa, and she hoped Lexa felt the same. She wanted to be able to look into Lexa’s forest-green eyes and tell Lexa everything about herself, from her childhood fears to her hopes and dreams. The way they were tied made that impossible, at least for the moment, but she settled for relaxing in her alpha’s embrace, letting Lexa love her and loving her in return.

They laid there, snuggled against each other, until Clarke finally felt Lexa’s knot beginning to relax. Even though Lexa hadn’t pulled out yet, it still wasn’t long before the sticky mix of their come was running down between them, pooling underneath them in the bed. Clarke shuffled uncomfortably, not really wanting to lay in the wet spot, especially with it growing wider and wider with every second that passed. She huffed irritably though, because despite her best efforts, Lexa kept maneuvering them right back into the swamp that had formed in the middle of the bed.

Eventually, Clarke got the upper hand, pulling far enough away that Lexa’s softening length finally slid out for her. It was a bitter feeling, feeling Lexa leave her, and she fought down a groan at the sensation, squirming and struggling to finally turn over in Lexa’s still outstretched arms. The soft look she found in Lexa’s eyes though, had her immediately pressing their lips together, needing the contact, the connection. For a moment, she just relished in the feeling of Lexa’s lips moving in tandem against her own. She instinctually shuffled closer though, needing more contact, only to settle against the cold, soaked sheets once again. She couldn’t help but shudder then, both at the reminder of where that wet spot had come from and the clammy feeling of the spot itself. Reluctantly, she pulled their lips apart, just enough to whisper against Lexa’s lips, “how about we continue this in the shower?”

 

~~~

 

Not wanting to move, not wanting to lose their moment, Lexa groaned and tried to grip at Clarke’s hips again, but when Clarke didn’t even wait for a reply, promptly scrambling out of her arms and off the bed, Lexa simply shook her head and started to follow. She figured it was probably a good idea to shower anyway, especially with the way their combined wetness had run all over both of them as it soaked into the sheets; not to mention the other bodily fluids that might be mixed in. A good, hot shower was about the only way to solve that. Lexa reluctantly scooted to the edge of the bed, muscles still feeling a little shaky from overuse, but when she looked up and found Clarke paused in the doorway to the bathroom, giving her hips a little inviting wiggle, obviously teasing again, Lexa felt herself twitch towards hardness all over again. She wasn’t about let Clarke torment her though, growling as she rushed forward, scooping Clarke up into her arms along the way. Lexa carried Clarke the rest of the way into the bathroom, too eager to be back inside Clarke to allow any sort of chase. She struggled a little as Clarke squirmed and giggled, so when she got close enough, Lexa plopped Clarke down on the edge of the counter. For a moment she contemplated taking Clarke against the counter, just sinking back inside that heavenly heat that was just out of reach, but then her still sweaty stomach dragged against Clarke’s knee, and came away wetter. She resolved herself to at least get them into the shower before she gave into her instincts once again.

Keeping one hand on Clarke’s slick skin, Lexa instantly pivoted towards the glass walled shower and pulled the door open. She set the tap to blast out hot, before turning back to Clarke, grinning as she caught Clarke’s eyes drifting slowly up her body. She wasn’t going to miss her own chance to take in Clarke’s body either and her nostrils flared as Clarke’s knees spread slightly, oh-so-invitingly. The sight of their mixed releases still dribbling out of Clarke’s sex, so much that it was running down onto the counter below her, had Lexa in some sort of way. Before she could stop herself, she practically lunged forward, quickly bracketing her hips between Clarke’s open knees and wrapping her arms around Clarke’s waist. She instantly pulled Clarke into another deep kiss, smooshing their bodies together as she moved. She felt Clarke hum against her lips, obviously enjoying more than the kiss. Lexa could feel her already re-hardening length trapped between them, twitching and throbbing, pressed in between their still sweaty stomachs. Lexa nearly groaned at the giggle that followed, as Clarke tried to bait her, snarking, “That eager again already, huh?”

Still feeling confident and dominant, despite, or maybe because of, Clarke’s teasing, Lexa growled as she took Clarke’s bottom lip between her teeth and tugged. Clarke moaned into her mouth, obviously pleased with the return of her aggression. Lexa just went with it too, automatically drawing her hands down to grasp at Clarke’s hips. Her grip wasn’t gentle either, as she jerked Clarke back and forth, and up and down, positioning her, until she was just right. The second Lexa felt the head of her shaft catch against Clarke’s entrance, she slammed inside her omega again, drawing a wild scream from Clarke’s lips. She didn’t begin thrusting, couldn’t trust herself to without hurting Clarke, not with the way Clarke’s walls seized shut around her. Clarke felt so incredible anyway, Lexa didn’t need to thrust; the tight heat, the slick rush, and the blinding pressure were more than enough for the moment.

It wasn’t all physical either; there was a sense of pride that swelled inside Lexa, being able to elicit such reactions from Clarke, both physical and emotional, made her head swell... And, in more ways than one. She throbbed as she settled herself inside Clarke, running her hand over Clarke’s thighs, as much to calm herself as to relax Clarke. She laid kisses over every inch she could reach, soft and gentle, distracting them both with her lips. Eventually, she felt Clarke’s thighs relax somewhat, and Lexa reached around under them, gently encouraging Clarke to wrap her legs around her hips. When she felt Clarke’s ankles lock behind her, she hefted Clarke into her arms and gently spun them both towards the shower. She was thankful the pause against the counter had given her leg muscles a chance to stop shaking, as she had no trouble maneuvering them as she stepped in.

The sudden heat running over both of them was a bit of a shock, Clarke clenching around her as they passed under the water. Lexa stifled a groan, or tried to, the sound eventually coming out rough and harsh anyway. Clarke shivered hard in her arms and Lexa had to press Clarke against the tiled wall to keep from tipping over. Bucking forward, Clarke hissed, back arching harshly, and Lexa had to brace her hands against the tile to keep from falling to the floor. When her hands met the wall, Lexa instantly understood Clarke’s reaction. While the water falling for the showerhead was hot enough to turn their skin a rosy shade of pink, the tile wall was still cold; it felt almost clammy. Lexa kicked herself for making such a dumb move, but quickly reached out and turned the showerhead to point at the wall right above Clarke’s head. Clarke’s reaction to the sudden warmth was almost as immediate as her reaction to the cold, and Lexa had to struggle to keep them both upright again. Her hands flew to Clarke’s hips, pressing Clarke hard against the wall again. When that wasn’t enough though, Clarke still slipping from her grip, she braced one foot against the opposite side of the shower and drove her hips forward and up as well, drawing another wild moaning scream from Clarke’s lips as she roughly bottomed out inside Clarke once again. She suspected that Clarke’s tailbone would be bruised from its collision with the wall, but an absolutely wanton sound that fell from Clarke’s lips, and Lexa couldn’t find it in herself to think too hard on that.

It was like a chain-reaction, something that probably would have looked sort of comical to someone on the outside, Lexa fumbling and scrambling and gripping and sliding, but instead of laughing, Clarke was mumbling, and keening, and wailing with each movement. Sometimes it was a word or two, trying to make sentences, but none of it was actually comprehensible, just half whispered ‘pleases,’ and near-shouted ‘yeses.’ Lexa understood her though, if not the words, then on some deeper, more primal level, reading the lines of Clarke’s trembling body like they were from a book Lexa herself had written. Clarke’s chest was straining towards her, so Lexa immediately brought her hands up to Clarke’s breasts, taking them in a firm grip and using it to press Clarke harder into the wall. Clarke gasped as Lexa quickly focused on the hard buds of Clarke’s nipples poking into her palms, trapping one between her thumb and forefingers. She pulled at them, twisted them, pinched them, until Clarke was crying out against her ear, “YES! p-p-pleas… Please Lexa, I-I-want—…”

Clarke didn’t have to finish, Lexa already knew. It was that desperation, that _need_ again, and it called to something deep inside Lexa, drawing her most primal self to the surface. She buried her face into the side of Clarke’s wet neck, getting a mouth full of wet hair at first, as she groped for purchase against Clarke’s skin with her teeth. She didn’t let that deter her though; she just nosed Clarke’s hair around until her felt she had a suitable hold on Clarke’s neck. She pinched Clarke’s nipples hard enough to make her howl then. Clarke tried to buck against the pressure, but Lexa was ready for it, using the added leverage of her foot braced out behind her to press Clarke back again, far more harshly than she had before. The thump of Clarke’s tailbone hitting the wall again almost made her wince, but Clarke obviously didn’t mind. The broken moan that escaped Clarke’s lips was all sex and lust and desire. Clarke stilled against her, submitting to her, and Lexa brought her off-hand up to thread into Clarke’s hair. Her grip like iron, she pulled in Clarke’s hair, forcing Clarke’s head to the side, exposing more of Clarke’s skin to her eager mouth. Clarke tried to surge against her again though, tried to push herself into Lexa’s mouth, and all Lexa could think to do was bite down and hold on.

 

~~~

 

The moment Clarke felt Lexa’s teeth set against the side of her throat and dig in, she went limp as a rag doll. Her alpha was obviously demanding her submission and she would gladly give it. Her nipple stung, and her scalp was tingling, and her neck felt like it was on fire, but she was far from complaining. In fact, she felt elated by Lexa’s actions. If they couldn’t be mates yet, she wanted to at least feel like they were, feel Lexa’s teeth at her throat, feel Lexa’s claim. Suddenly though, Lexa’s touch seemed to go feather light. The teeth were gone, replaced by the feeling of Lexa gently rolling her tongue up and down her neck. Lexa’s hand at her breast began a soft massage as well. The switch had Clarke pulsing around Lexa’s length in no time. She wondered for just a moment whether she could come just from these sensations alone, the alternating pleasure and pain, filled to the brim with Lexa’s hot shaft.

It seemed like that was precisely what Lexa had in mind too, her alpha tantalizing her by filling her but then refusing to move. Clarke sighed harshly as Lexa’s hands moved over her body, eventually sliding up under her arms, coming to rest in between her shoulder blades and the wall. The new closeness caused Lexa’s hard nipples to rub slightly against her own, as Lexa settled flush against her, completely pinning her to the wall. Clarke let out what she was sure sounded like a needy, frantic whine when the top of Lexa’s mound pressed against her clit, but she couldn’t help it. The pressure was excellent, as soothing as it was exacerbating, but she desperately tried to roll her hips forward, silently begging for any sort of movement from Lexa’s lower half. Lexa just held her steady against the wall though and continued dragging her tongue all over her neck and shoulder.

When Lexa’s hands begin to trail down, sliding between her lower back and the wall, Clarke thought they were getting somewhere, but then Lexa’s fingertips began drifting delicately up and down her sides, around the backs of her arms and down under her butt, spreading goosebumps with every touch, despite the warmth of the shower spray. The sheer desperation she’d felt moments before melted, as Lexa’s mouth continued working over her as well; tongue flicking lightly against her throat, lips gently sucking on her collarbone, nose and mouth blowing hot air against the shell of her ear. Affection swelled inside her, Lexa’s delicate care causing her love to almost overtake her lust, and her heat. Lexa began mumbling sexy, little, sweet nothings into her ear then, saying things like, “Wanna stay like this forever,” and “Love filling you, feeling you flutter around me.” The words could have sounded crude and tasteless, if not for the way Lexa was saying them, a reverent tone usurping her earlier aggression. Clarke simply stayed like that for a long moment, content in the feeling of Lexa’s love for her whispering against her skin.

If she hadn’t been so overwhelmed by pleasure, she would have been amazed at how much restraint Lexa was showing, barely brushing her fingers over some places and gently massaging the supple flesh of others. It didn’t take long though, before Clarke felt her heat seething inside her again. It seemed Lexa could feel it too, and Clarke moaned, as Lexa’s length twitched inside her, her sex involuntarily clenching around Lexa’s stiff member in reaction. Lexa still wasn’t moving down there however, and Clarke realized at that point, she didn’t really care if Lexa moved or not; her peak was fast approaching anyway. She knew Lexa was good, had experienced Lexa’s many skills for herself, but this was some kind of otherworldly experience. To have Lexa inside her, offering nothing more than tender touches and gentle kisses, was both overwhelming and not quite enough all at the same time. Lexa seemed to sense that too, and Clarke gasped as Lexa’s fingers settled against her nipples again, thumbs just brushing over their rock-solid tips. She mewled and squirmed as Lexa’s fingers gripped her, not nearly as harsh as before, but with enough force to feel it. The thin line of pain caused her thighs to start convulsing, almost uncontrollably; her sex rolling over Lexa’s still buried shaft, walls pulsing and fluttering, so close she could practically taste it.

Lexa’s voice echoed in her ear, a little sultry whisper, a little loving demand, but it was the pleading tone that finally drove Clarke over the edge, as she heard Lexa say, “It’s ok, love. I’ve got you. Come for me, please?” Clarke felt pressure surge inside her at that heartfelt request and her eyes slammed shut as another life-altering orgasm rippled through her, radiating out from her core, until there wasn’t a single inch of her body that didn’t feel the release. Warmth rushed out of her too, powerful enough that she felt it as the waves splashed out onto Lexa’s thighs and then bounced back against her own skin. That definitely wasn’t from the shower spray. She almost turned to liquid herself too, trembling nonstop in Lexa’s arms. She found herself sighing in relief as Lexa began to place little butterfly kisses all over her neck and throat, hands retracing the goose-bump trail she had created earlier.

As Lexa’s hands continued to trail this way and that, Clarke became more and more aware of her own body. She realized that at some point her hands had become buried in Lexa’s hair, but before she could really think about how they got there, she simply pulled Lexa’s head up, and meet Lexa’s searching lips with her own. They shared a few soft kisses before Clarke simply felt like she just couldn’t hold her head up anymore; she was more like a puddle than a person, one being held together by the sheer force of Lexa’s will. It was Lexa who eventually pulled back though, meeting her eyes instead of her lips. When green met blue, all Clarke’s feelings came tumbling out as she chokingly whispered, “God, I— Lexa… I-I love you so much. I c-can’t wait to love you… all through this life a-and search for you again in the next. You… you’re just so special, I hope you know that. So special to me…”

Clarke’s heart swelled when Lexa swooned against her, pressing their lips together once again, before she huskily replied, “I love you, too, Clarke… Always… I’ll always be with you.”


	19. The Learning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, it's been a hell of a week, but I got through it... and I managed to finish up this little gem too... Hope you enjoy!

With Raven snuggled up to her arm, all Abby could think about was Raven’s warmth. It was comforting as it was stirring and she couldn’t help wondering what it would feel like to have Raven’s skin, bare and flush up against her own naked body. Just the thought brought Abby’s insecurities roaring to the surface, rolling over her like a forest fire, utterly wild and unpredictable. How would Raven react to the dents and dimples of her age? Would Raven worry over her wrinkles and her creases and her scars? And… what about that little bit of loose skin around her belly? That spot, that despite every effort, short of cosmetic surgery, had persisted, even so long after she’d given birth to Clarke? How could a young, beautiful omega like Raven want anything to do with her aged body?

A strange sound broke her from her thoughts though, and it took her a moment to realize what it was; Raven was humming along with the song playing on the stereo. Even though she’d been drumming along on the steering wheel, Abby hadn’t really recognized the song. When she actually focused on it though, it only took her a moment to place the song. It was the first song she and Raven had danced to on Saturday night. It sounded a little different, so maybe it was the original of the cover or something. Abby smiled at the memory of dancing with Raven, nonetheless, hoping they could do it again someday. The way Raven’s eyes had sparkled was something she’d definitely like to see again.

Without even thinking about it, Abby turned her head slightly to the side and kissed Raven on the top of the head. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Raven reached out to turn up the music, but when Raven’s hand returned, it came to rest on her thigh instead of her arm. Abby shivered at the intimate sensation, but the tender touch did manage to alleviate some of her doubts. ‘She is the one who’s pursuing you here… Maybe you should just relax and try to enjoy it,’ Abby thought as Raven’s fingers flexed softly in the fabric of her scrubs. She had thought about changing after… after work, but with Raven’s fist tightening against her pants, she was suddenly glad she wasn’t wearing something tighter, glad that Raven’s fingers weren’t digging to her skin instead. She wasn’t sure she could handle the sensation of Raven’s nails dragging over her inner thigh while she was driving. Raven just held on though, fist clenched in the loose fabric, and Abby decided to just enjoy the closeness, no matter how long it lasted.

They rode the rest of the way to her townhouse without speaking, but it wasn’t an awkward sort of silence. It was almost peaceful, like if she just allowed herself to be with Raven, they could make it work. She almost felt like they’re decisions had already been made for them, and they were tuning in just in time for the results. That feeling seemed to settle things for her somewhat, at least for moment, but she knew they still needed to discuss the particulars. Being together was going to be complicated and probably painful sometimes, but Abby hoped Raven felt like she was worth the risk.

When they finally pulled into a parking spot in front her townhouse, Abby hustled to get around the car, but she didn’t get there in time to help Raven out. She smiled though, at the way Raven was standing on the sidewalk, staring wide-eyed at her three-story brownstone. While Raven was distracted, Abby slid up behind her and wrapped her arms around her, sighing as Raven easily relaxed back into the embrace. Abby rested her head against Raven’s shoulder as she whispered in Raven’s ear, “Would you like to go inside?”

Raven’s nod was immediate, and Abby smiled as Raven spun in her arms, pressing a quick, playful kiss to her lips before pulling away. Abby merely chuckled at Raven’s obvious enthusiasm and followed, as Raven half-skipped, half-hobbled towards her front door. As Raven crested the top the stairs, Abby caught up, and caught Raven as well, as she faltered a little on the uneven top step. Raven didn’t seem to mind though, sighing softly as Abby cradled her waist with one arm, steadying Raven with her gentle grip. Abby sighed herself when Raven’s arm came up to cup her waist as well. She locked eyes with Raven then, slightly nervous by the sudden proximity, but eventually pushing through it to mumble softly, “Sorry, I’ve been meaning to get that step fixed for a while, but it’s just me here most of the time, so…”

Letting her voice trail off there, Abby realized she didn’t really know how to finish that thought without it sounding like she was inviting Raven to a big pity party. The last thing she needed from Raven was pity, mostly because she knew how much Raven hated it when it was directed at her. Thankfully, Raven saved her from herself though, saying, “Abby, it’s ok. I should have been watching where I was going, but I… I just got kind of distracted.”

Something about the way Raven said that piqued Abby’s interest and she smirked as she immediately asked, “Distracted huh?” She felt Raven’s fingers flex against her side, even as she watched a deep rosy blush creep up Raven’s cheeks. Abby realized then how much she wanted to kiss those cheeks, just to feel the heat under Raven’s skin. She returned Raven’s gentle squeeze instead, trying to content herself with simply feeling Raven’s warmth along her side.

It seemed like Raven was still a little nervous though, hesitating a little under her quiet stare. Hoping to appear reassuring, Abby smiled softly and began brushing her thumb back and forth over the fabric of Raven’s jacket. Even so, Raven stammered a little bit when she finally said, “It’s just— _This_ … It’s a lot.”

Not exactly sure what _This_ was, Abby went with the most logical train of thought, squeezing Raven a little closer into her side, as she quietly said, “I know… the car, the house… I like nice things, what can I say.” Raven flushed a little more under her gaze, and Abby felt the urge to kiss her when Raven ducked her head and didn’t reply. She wanted to dip down and catch Raven’s lips with her own, wanted to coax out that confident spitfire who had greeted her when Abby had first picked her up. She knew that if Raven wasn’t sharing though, she shouldn’t press. She wanted Raven to come to her in her own time. They were already rushing towards mutually-assured destruction anyway; she certainly didn’t need to help it along. Resolved to try to take _This_ one step at a time, she reached into her shoulder bag with her free hand and pulled out her keys, letting Raven off the hook as she said, “Come on, let’s go inside… I’m ready to eat.”

The soft little gasp that escaped from Raven then was almost too soft for Abby to hear, but as Raven shivered against her side, Abby knew what she had heard. Raven’s scent struck her then too, swirling around them both, enveloping Abby in the sweet scent of aroused omega. She clutched at Raven’s side, stiffening against the assault on her senses. She couldn’t let go, but she couldn’t keep holding Raven so close either. She worried that if she didn’t get them inside in a hurry, she was going to end up making out with Raven like some horny teenager on her parent’s stoop. She reached out then, only faltering a little as she blindly slid the key into lock, and quickly turned the knob before swinging them both inside.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, she pulled Raven into herself, one hand burying in Raven’s hair as their lips met. It started hot and heavy, and Abby lost herself in it, claiming Raven’s mouth for several moments. Raven’s open-mouthed moan, accompanied by a soft thump, brought Abby up short though and suddenly she realized what she was doing. Somehow, she had crowded Raven against the wall of the foyer, pinning Raven’s hips to wall with one of her knees slotted between Raven’s thighs. She forced herself to pull back, needing a moment to get herself together. Raven whined sorrowfully though and ground down against her thigh, and Abby nearly gave in, her determination to talk things out significantly strained. Her instincts were telling her to just carry Raven off to her bedroom and forget about anything except for Raven’s body against her own for the rest of the night.

It was a near thing, but Abby managed to steel her resolve, pressing her forehead against Raven’s and groaning when Raven whimpered as she pulled her knee away. She immediately began pumping out her most soothing pheromones, trying to assuage Raven’s obvious disappointment. When her scent didn’t get the reaction she wanted, Abby knew she needed to say something, needed to apologize or make a promise or… something. She just wasn’t sure how to start. Eventually, Raven slumped a little in her arms with a little dejected sigh, and Abby couldn’t stop herself from apologizing and promising all at once, saying, “Raven, we can’t… not without talking about it first…”

With their foreheads still pressed together, Raven nodded slightly, and Abby sighed as Raven’s arms squeezed around her waist once again. Abby knew what Raven wanted, just one more minute, but she also knew they should move on. They needed talk, and order food, and just try to be together, but keep their heads at the same time. She just couldn’t bring herself to move though, enjoying the moment, the closeness, too much. Raven’s arms were wrapped around her and Raven’s head had to come to rest in the hollow of her collarbone. The contact alone made Abby feel content and warm, safe and sound. Since those feelings were so rare in her life, she couldn’t help it as she sank into Raven’s embrace. Raven’s scent was so inviting then too, such a complex combination of arousal and satisfaction that it was several minutes before Abby could talk herself into actually separating from her.

At least Raven didn’t whine that time, seemingly resolved to follow Abby’s lead, so Abby swallowed around the lump that had formed in her throat and quietly asked, “Raven, what would you like for dinner?” Abby caught Raven’s slightly confused look and hoped that maybe more information would clear up whatever Raven was thinking. She quickly elaborated, “Delivery choices are decent Chinese, good Italian or the city’s best Thai food.”

Seeing Raven eyes light up at the mention of Thai food, Abby chuckled when Raven proudly declared, “Oh! Thai food is the best. I love Panang curry!” She got just a glimpse of Raven’s beautiful smile before Raven looked down, eyes drifting to where their hands had folded together. Abby’s eyes locked on them for a moment too, but she looked back up, trying to search Raven’s face, as Raven added shyly, “But, uh, really, Italian or Chinese sounds fine too, if that’s what you want.”

Hearing that nervousness made Abby frown, but she did what she could to reassure Raven, gently squeezing her fingers, as she said, “Raven, relax… I love Thai food, too. That’s how I know this place is so good, but I asked because I wanted to know what you wanted.”

When Raven’s eyes snapped up to her own, Abby could see the heat held in their dark depths. It inspired a bit of heat inside her too, but then Raven drew in a deep breath and held it for just a moment, and Abby didn’t know what think. Her eyes started to drift down towards Raven’s lips, just as Raven blurted out, “Well, what I really want is you!”

Feeling her eyes widen with shock, Abby was sure her mouth fell open at Raven’s boldness, but for a long moment she just stared at Raven and allowed the images of being together flood her mind. It started out innocent enough, just flashes; cuddling on the couch in the winter time, fire roaring in the fireplace, trying to watch TV, but ultimately watching each other instead. Next, they were heading to her parent’s old lake house for a long weekend in the spring, so they could see all the wildflowers in bloom. Her thoughts took a turn though, when she started thinking about bikini-clad Raven lying by her side on a beach somewhere, or a romantic cruise for two to the Caribbean. As enticing as those images were though, what finally drew an involuntary groan from Abby’s lips, was the idea of laying out under the night sky with Raven and just listening to the world passed them by, as they found each other over and over again in the stars above their heads.

It was as if she could see their whole lives together in that instant and her heart swelled at the idea. Each image was sweeter than the last. She shook her head though, when she realized that none of those images had included Clarke. She didn’t want to imagine what Clarke was going say about all this, but she was finally broken from her fantasies enough to say, “I know, I… I want you too, Raven. I want us… It’s just so complicated.” She hesitated before saying anything more, and decided to change the subject, hoping to give herself some time to formulate her thoughts. She offered Raven the most reassuring smile she could muster as she said, “Let’s order food and we can talk about that while we wait, ok?”

Raven nodded and moved to let go of Abby’s hands, but Abby wasn’t quite ready to let go just yet. When they parted, she quickly reaching out again and took one of Raven’s hands again, only this time with her the opposite hand. She eased their fingers together as she led Raven towards the kitchen, feeling that warmth spread through her as she thought about where she had e menu for the Thai place. She ended up finding one pretty easily, and already knowing what she wanted, she quickly handed it over to Raven, settling one of her hips against the counter to wait. Raven only gave the menu a cursory glance, before excitedly saying, “Large Panang curry for me, please?”

Laughing, Abby had sort of expected that answer, just maybe not that much enthusiasm. She smiled anyway, as she replied, “Of course, anything else?” Raven merely shook her head and grinned, so Abby excused herself for just a second to make the call. She turned her back to Raven as she pulled up the number on her phone, not wanting Raven to feel obligated to look at her while she was on the phone. The nice man who always answered the phone greeted her, but Abby stuttered as Raven’s arms slid around her from behind. The feeling of Raven’s front pressed against her back was deeply distracting, and Abby had to ask the man to repeat himself a couple times before she managed to get their order in. She groaned as she hung up, Raven’s hands finally drifting up her sides. She shivered into the touch when Raven’s hands came to a rest under her breasts, cupping her ribcage. It felt incredible just being held like that, and Abby sighed as she relaxed into Raven’s hold. She could feel Raven’s chest vibrating against her back then, Raven releasing a content purr from deep within. The sound made her squirm a little bit, wanting to turn in Raven’s arms, but when she shifted she realized that sometime during their kissing by the door, her underwear had become noticeably damp. The sensation of her briefs shifting and sticking to her skin made her shiver even harder.

Figuring there was no hiding her arousal, Abby sighed again. Raven would surely smell the change in her scent, as she had with Raven earlier, but before she could dwell on it, she felt Raven urge her to turn around, fingers flexing against her ribs. She complied, trying not to look shy when their eyes eventually met. Raven’s desire was easy to read, giving her a smoldering sort of expression, but there was an intense sort of longing there that Abby wasn’t quite prepared for. The feeling of being wanted, so strongly, was absolutely foreign to her, so much so that she felt almost nervous because of it. Raven’s arms settled around her waist once again though, and Abby felt a wave of Raven’s relief storm over her. She was too overwhelmed by the feeling to stop herself from leaning forward and pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to Raven’s lips. Abby wasn’t sure what she was trying to reassure, but when Raven pressed into the kiss, for just an instant, everything seemed perfect and easy and complete.

Before she could get lost in kissing Raven again, Abby pulled back and began to gently lead Raven to the living room, eventually ushering Raven to take a seat on the couch. Once she thought Raven looked settled, Abby slid in next to her. Raven looked into her eyes and shifted a little closer and Abby could feel her resolve waning again, but even though she didn’t want to do this, she knew she needed to. She needed Raven to know how she felt, the good and the bad, so she swallowed against the lump rising in her throat and said, “Raven, I want you, us, but you deserve more, someone better than me. I mean, I’m old… so much older than you... What could you possibly want me for?”

Abby thought Raven’s eyes were going to bulge right out of her head then, even though her doctor brain knew that wasn’t actually possible. Raven’s sputtered reply was incredulous and heated, “A-Abby, you— you’re not old, ok?! And besides… What hot young alpha is gonna want an omega like me anyway. I can’t even stand on me own two feet half the time?” Abby could feel Raven pulling away from her. It was all she could do to hold her tongue, nearly foaming at the mouth to tell Raven how beautiful and capable and wonderful she thought Raven was, but Raven quickly continued, lashing out, “I’m crippled, Abby! Permanently… and to be honest, you are the only person I’ve ever met, alpha or otherwise, that didn’t have some sort of problem with it. Well, other than Clarke and O.”

Despite flinching at the mention of Clarke, Abby could tell Raven was kicking herself for even bringing Clarke up, just compounding their already complicated situation. Abby pushed past her thoughts of Clarke though, unable to deny herself this time, reaching out and taking Raven’s hand, as she said, “You… you are not your leg. You shouldn’t base your self-worth on just that one thing, Raven. You’re so much more than that. You’re beautiful, and capable, and I think you’re just wonderful, okay?”

Abby knew she sounded sort of desperate there at the end, but when Raven smiled at her, Abby couldn’t bring herself to care how she sounded, if that smile was the response. She watched Raven for a long moment, and she felt Raven studying her as well, but eventually Raven finally ducked her head a little and said, “Thanks… I— That’s why I feel so good when I’m with you. You… you make me feel normal. No one has ever made me feel normal, especially about my leg. It’s always, ‘You’re cute, but…’ or ‘You’re smart and all, but…’ It seemed like that ‘but’ was always going to be there, but… not with you.” Raven giggled then, and Abby immediately suspected it was probably at her own overuse of the word ‘but.’ Abby just flushed as she found herself thinking about Raven’s butt instead.

Even with her less-than pure thoughts, Abby tried to sound levelheaded as she replied, “Yeah, you won’t get any ‘buts’ from me about your leg. You are so beautiful and smart and funny, I can’t understand how anyone would let such a small thing get in the way of being with someone like you.”

Raven winced at the word ‘small,’ but Abby soothed her through it. She knew Raven didn’t see her leg as a small thing, but to Abby it really was small. Raven’s leg was so low on her list of concerns that the more Abby thought about it the less and less it seemed to matter. She could tell Raven was ramping herself up then, steeling her nerve for the next part of their conversation, so she waited to see what Raven had to say. After a few deep breaths, Raven finally said, “Ok, so, that’s good… we both agree we want each other, but uh, what do we do about Clarke?”

When Abby had had a spare minute to think that day, she had found herself wondering about the things Clarke had said to her brunch the day before. Her daughter had seemed genuinely happy for her, that she might have found someone to be happy with, but Abby was still nervous about how Clarke would react to who that person actually happened to be. Originally, Abby had staved off dating because she hadn’t wanted Clarke to think she was trying to replace Jake. With how much time that had passed, she didn’t have that crutch of an excuse anymore. After she and Clarke had made up after their falling out, they had talked about those dark days at length. Abby was sure Clarke knew that she had loved Jake, and part of her would always love him. She had finally begun to relieve herself of her guilt over their separation and his death. Those feelings still lingered sometimes even then, but Abby knew that she couldn’t have done anything to stop Jake’s death. Clarke would have a hard time dealing with her relationship with Raven, but Abby couldn’t help wondering if Clarke really meant what she said, that sometimes you had to do things for yourself and worry about the complicated parts later. Abby pressed her lips together for a moment before she uttered, “I… I think Clarke can handle this, _us_ , as long as we don’t wait to tell her. The longer we wait, the worse she will feel when she does find out.”

It seemed Raven couldn’t agree fast enough as Raven blurted out, “I— I know what you mean. She deserves better than finding out through social media.” Abby watched as a hesitant thought passed through Raven’s eyes, but then Raven just continued, as confidently as before, “We should see if she and Lexa, and Octavia and Anya, want to go on a triple date, that way we can use O and Anya as a buffer if Clarke flips.” Abby noticed how Raven was getting ramped up again, so she held her tongue as Raven blurted out in another rush, “Well, after Clarke and Lexa emerge from Lexa’s place. She’s, uh, in heat, and she said she was just going over there last night to talk, but she packed a bag and told O and I that she’d see us in a few days. So… yeah.”

Raven was suddenly nervous again, obviously thinking she’d said too much, but Abby just brushed her fingertips over Raven’s skin, attempting to free Raven from her worries. When she realized Raven was blushing, she quickly understood why and said, “Raven, don’t worry. You haven’t revealed some big secret there. I do know my daughter, after all. We’ve always had an open dialogue when it comes to talking about Clarke’s sex life… even when we weren’t talking to each other about much else. I’ve always been up front with her about issues that can come from having sex, and bonding and babies and sexually transmitted infections and all that. She’s, uh, she’s a big girl and she can make her own choices.” She paused for just a moment before she added, “And besides, I already knew she was sleeping with Lexa. She showed up to brunch yesterday, smelling like sweat and Lexa… I mean, she was wearing Lexa’s clothes. I put two and two together pretty easy on that one.” Raven just grinned at her and Abby felt it as some of Raven’s worries melted away, Raven relaxing into the moment of easy silence with her.

Just a second later though, the doorbell rang, and Raven’s stomach growled, simultaneously. Abby smiled at her and patted Raven on her good knee before getting up to answer the door. She quickly grabbed some money from her purse and paid the delivery boy, tipping him an almost obscene amount. He was thankful, but Abby didn’t want to be away from Raven any longer than she had to be, so she politely dismissed him and then returned to the living room with steaming bag of take-out. She found Raven twiddling her fingers together, but she didn’t mention the nerves, instead saying, “Would you rather eat in here or at the bar in the kitchen? I mean, we could eat in the dining room, but that’s, uh, on the second floor.”

Raven smirked at her, and Abby could almost hear Raven’s coy reply before she even said anything. Still, Abby barely managed to suppress a groan as Raven finally said it, “I’ll eat it wherever you’ll give it me.”

The blatant insinuation hung heavy in the air, and at first, all Abby could do was blush furiously. It didn’t take her long to realize that she’d walked right into it though, and she chuckled lightly before replying just as coyly, “Why don’t we eat our dinner first, and then see where the rest night takes us?”

They settled in at the coffee table after that. They tried to talk about easy things over dinner, but it seemed like every step they took together was fraught with snares; even finding a couple of landmines along the way. Like when, Abby started asking Raven about the repair shop. It started out simple, just a question about how she came to own the shop, but when the question of why Raven had ultimately chosen the car repair business, Abby flinched as Raven quietly answered, “Well, I wanted to be a rocket scientist, like literally, work for NASA, all that… But the, uh, the accident put some dampers on that plan.”

Knowing better than to feel sorry for Raven though, Abby quickly changed the subject, making an almost logical step, asking Raven about how the little cut on her forehead was healing. Raven assured her she was fine, but one thing led to another there too. When Raven asked her why she had decided to become a doctor, Abby couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Mr. Wallace. She could feel the guilt rising again, and she found herself torturing herself over something that she knew she probably couldn’t have done anything to prevent, feeling despondent and remorseful about it, nonetheless. Abby almost flinched when Raven slid her hand across the space between them and took ahold of her shaking fingers, but Raven’s warmth was quickly becoming a salve she couldn’t live without. When Raven stammered, “I— I shouldn’t’ve asked that. I’m sorry, Abby,” she felt her well of sadness and guilt overflow. She barely managed to choke back her tears as Raven’s soothing voice reached her ears again, asking simply, “Are you ok?”

Nodding, Abby reacted on instinct, despite the fact that she didn’t really believe it. She wanted to scream about how it wasn’t fair; that life wasn’t ever going to be fair, so why should people even try. With Raven there though, comforting her with that soft expression, Abby felt like there some things were worth fighting for, worth trying for. She squeezed Raven’s fingers reassuringly in her own, taking all the comfort she could get before she finally felt like she could answer Raven’s earlier question, whispering, “I knew early on I wanted to be a doctor. My dad was a surgeon and his dad too. I always wanted to follow in their footsteps. I always wanted to help people.” She hesitated for a moment, knowing what she was about to say was true, but that didn’t make the words come out any easier, as she added, “Even if sometimes it doesn’t always work out the way I want it to, I’ve never imagined doing anything else.”

Hearing Raven gasp slightly at the words, Abby couldn’t bring herself to look up at Raven yet. She was sure her eyes were still swimming with tears, but then Raven whispered, “Abby, you’re so brave,” and Abby couldn’t resist meeting Raven’s eyes when Raven’s free hand came up to cup her jaw. She instinctively pressed in to the touch, despite her blush at the compliment. Abby pressed closer, Raven pulling her in as well, and their lips fell together in a gentle kiss.

Expecting the soft sweetness of Raven’s lips, Abby sputtered at the taste instead, laughing a little, as she said, “Honey, you’ve got curry all over your face.” Raven blushed then, and moved to pick up a napkin, but Abby caught her wrist, and whispered, “It’s ok. I like Panang curry, too.” She smiled as Raven looked up at her through hooded lashes, blushing herself at the hungry look in Raven’s eyes, and she couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and bringing their lips together once again. With the tension broken, the great pressure between them released, they sank back into an easier conversation then, chatting happily about this and that as they finished their meals.

Feeling like she couldn’t eat another bite and seeing that Raven was equally stuffed, Abby excused herself to tidy up after dinner. She was only alone for a minute or two before she felt Raven enter the kitchen behind her. She didn’t say anything as she heard Raven perch on bar stool at the island, watching her. She reveled in the domesticity of it all actually, and she quickly got lost in her daydreams again, like coming home to find Raven showering off the grease and grime of work or eating dinner with her after one of her own long days; maybe even, tucking Raven into her side at bedtime and cradling her all night in her arms, safe and happy and loved.

As she thought, she stared down into her still dirty coffee mug from the day before, some part of her realizing, ‘Damn, I should have at least run some water in this before I left the house yesterday.’ Scrubbing at the dried-on coffee-milk-sugar combo, her mind drifted back, thinking about what it would have been like to have had Raven sitting across from her yesterday, reading the Science Section or the comics, sipping her coffee and giggling, while Abby read the Travel section or the Arts section. When daydream Raven looked up at her from her part of the paper and met Abby’s eyes, Abby suddenly lost all connection with reality. The coffee mug she had been washing slipped from her grip and she didn’t even notice. In that moment she realized, she couldn’t think of a better vision for her future, caring for and protecting, and having and holding, and loving this incredible omega; this beautiful, talented, tenacious young woman who had breathed life back into her with just that one look.

 

~~~

 

It didn’t take long for Raven to start getting worried. Abby was standing stock still, just staring into the sink, watching the broken pieces of the coffee mug like they were going to fly back together at any second. She slid a little closer, brushing one hand along Abby’s back, and taking a hold of Abby’s arm with the other. She tugged slightly at the shell-shocked woman in her grasp and when Abby moved with her, Raven was not expecting what happened next. Abby turned abruptly in her grip, and immediately began crowding into her space. When she felt Abby’s fingers dig into her hips and pull her forward, Raven went oh-so-willingly, suddenly desperate to feel whatever Abby was feeling. Their lips met a moment later and it was hungry and fast, but as these things go, it didn’t last nearly as long as Raven wanted. She nearly whined as Abby pulled away yet again, but stopped herself when Abby only made an inch of space between them, just enough room for Abby to murmur against her lips, “Stay the night? _Stay_ _with me_?”

Gasping, Raven couldn’t help but to press forward then, answering Abby with her lips, though not with her words. She could feel static charging the air around them, as Abby’s fingers dug further into the flesh of her hips, pulling her in so close that her feet lifted off the ground for a moment. She delighted in Abby’s sudden surge of passion though, moaning brokenly as Abby took control of their kisses as well; the light, burning drag of sharp canines on her bottom lip causing Raven’s voice to catch mid-moan. It was like a switch had flipped inside Abby and that switch had opened a floodgate inside Raven as well.

When Abby pulled back again, Raven was panting, struggling to catch her breath, but despite her lack of oxygen, a needy whine slipped past her lips, suddenly frustrated that she even needed to breath. Abby was back on her in flash though, pressing her face in close to Raven’s neck and releasing a low rumble into the skin there. Raven trembled at the display of dominance and possession, but then she felt Abby soothing her shivering skin, hands rubbing lightly up and down her sides. It settled Raven somewhat, but there was still a lingering tension that Raven needed solved. Abby just kept stroking her sides though, nuzzling against the side of her neck, breathing against her skin. By the time Abby’s hands finally came back to rest at her hips again, Raven felt like she was going to melt right there in the middle of the kitchen.

The first pass of Abby’s tongue, lapping against her neck, flicking over her scent gland, had Raven soaked in a matter of moments. When Raven felt just the barest hint of Abby’s teeth brush against her skin, she inhaled sharply, sucking in a great breath through her nose. She was sure Abby could smell how turned on she was; she was so aroused she could actually smell herself. She stiffened slightly at the realization, but when Abby rumbled again, lips sealing around her scent glad in a wet, sucking kiss, Raven suddenly felt weak. She probably would have fallen if Abby hadn’t already been holding her up. She choked on her own breath for a moment, head spinning, but then Abby pulled away a bit and spun Raven sideways in her arms. Raven knew exactly what Abby wanted without Abby even saying a word. All she offered was a small nod and Abby immediately bent down and scooped her up bridal style, before carrying her off towards the stairs.

As they climbed, Raven couldn’t believe she had just agreed to be carried. With her arms wrapped around Abby’s strong shoulders and Abby’s solid frame easily supporting her weight, she quickly decided it was the best thing she had ever allowed in her life. For the first time, probably ever, she felt totally safe and at ease, like Abby would do anything for her. Raven couldn’t think of anything she wanted more, except maybe doing anything for Abby in return. Smiling she nuzzled in against Abby’s neck, leaving little soft appreciative kisses along Abby’s jaw, all the way up to just under her ear. There was so much she wanted to say then, and she tried, whispering against the skin of Abby’s neck, “Abby… I-I just…” That was as far as she got though; she simply couldn’t make the words come out, her brain screaming at her that it was too soon. She wanted to tell Abby she couldn’t imagine a single day without Abby in her life and that she wanted all of Abby, all the time. She knew it was way, way, way too early in whatever their tenuous relationship may be to be saying things like that.

It seemed Abby didn’t have such reservations, coughing slightly as she croaked out, “Raven, I— I know. I want _this_ so much. _Us_ , so much… I want you here, sharing meals with me and watching TV with me, and going to sleep with me and waking up with me. I want it all, everything…” Raven could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and she could feel herself breathing, but otherwise, all she could focus on was Abby’s scent. It was slithering out from right under her nose, sweet and soothing, rich and fueling, and she nearly latched on to the source right then. Abby clearing her throat snapped Raven back to reality, just in time to focus as Abby said, “I— I think I’ve decided that I’m not going to let anyone, or anything, get in the way of me having that either. If that makes me selfish, so be it...” Abby’s tone seemed so certain, that Raven almost missed it as Abby quietly concluded, “If— If you’ll have me, that is...”

Raven’s heart raced, and Abby’s scent swelled, and Raven could no longer resist. She firmly attached her lips to Abby’s neck then, right over Abby’s scent gland, and sucked, hard. A deep groan vibrated against her body and the sound only had her sucking harder. When she pulled away, she looked down at where her lips had just been, proud of herself for leaving a mark on the flesh of Abby’s neck so quickly, even if the mark itself was only temporary. She glanced up from Abby’s purpled flesh when they stopped, but she didn’t get much of a chance to look around as Abby hefted her in her grip, effortlessly shifting her body weight. With the renewed hold, Raven fell in awe as Abby made short work of a second set of stairs. After only a few more steps, down a hallway, Abby was leaning over her, seating her almost delicately, on the edge of a bed. Raven didn’t know where they were exactly, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Abby, as Abby moved in for another kiss, this time with no restraint. Abby was absolutely devouring her lips and she couldn’t hold back her moans as Abby’s hands settled against her ribs, urging her to lay back.

Slumping back against the mattress, Raven relished in the feeling of Abby’s fingers running back and forth across her ribs, moving down to rub across her stomach, sinking lower and lower. The soft pads of Abby’s thumbs stroked over her bare skin just once before Raven gasped, feeling those fingers hook under the hem of her top. Trembling with anticipation, Raven moaned as Abby slowly pushed underneath her shirt, hands roaming up and up and up. She arched up, throwing her arms over head, hoping Abby would take the hint and take her top off. Abby grinned down at her and Raven thought, ‘Of course, she was waiting for permission.’ Eager Abby returned then, whipping her top off over her outstretched arms. She was vaguely aware of it landing somewhere by the door, but then Abby’s weight settled over her. There was nothing else after that, except feeling Abby over her, ravishing her. She gasped as Abby quickly took her bottom lip in a fierce kiss, sucking the already kiss-swollen flesh into her mouth. Lips and teeth and tongue worked over her for several long moments, leaving Raven feeling bereft when the sensations abruptly stopped.

Not a second later, Raven squealed, Abby’s lips meeting her collarbone, teeth quickly nipping at her bra strap before trailing down. If Raven had had enough sense to care, she would have been angry with herself for wearing her plain old brown bra. When Abby’s teeth grazed over her nipple through the satiny fabric though, she was far too turned on to worry about what she was wearing. Abby’s lips met the bare expanse of her stomach then, and Raven felt her muscles tense and flex, searching for more of Abby’s mouth. She couldn’t do anything but pant and buck and shiver each time Abby’s lips met her skin, too overwhelmed to feel anything except Abby’s lips sucking at her skin or Abby’s teeth sinking into her flesh. Abby was surely leaving a mark behind either way. Raven simply relished in the possession, feeling like this was where she was meant to be, body convulsing, fraught with shivers as Abby marked her anywhere she pleased.

Despite being driven wild by Abby’s tempting mouth though, Raven noticed when one of Abby’s hands slid up her side and underneath her. She whimpered, feeling Abby’s hot breath huff against the top of her breasts, lips pausing on her sternum, right over top of the connecting fabric of her bra. She couldn’t help herself but to glance down then, finding Abby staring up at her, a desperate look in her eyes. Raven sighed at Abby’s obvious need for further permission, but she readily gave it anyway, panting out a broken, “Ple-lease, Ab…”

Fumbling fingers scratched at her back, and Raven arched away from the ticklish touch. Her bra slacked over her chest a moment later though and she smirked, realizing that had been the point all along. She sighed, relaxing back against the bed as Abby’s fingers began grazing along her side, burning a trail of desire over her skin. The first time Abby’s fingertip traced a circle around her hardened nipple, Raven’s already ragged breath caught in her chest. When she tried to exhale, the sound that tore its way through her voice cords was downright obscene. She had no idea a simple touch could feel that good; Abby was barely even touching her. When Abby’s thumb and finger closed on either side of her straining bud, Raven completely lost herself in Abby’s touch. Another mewling, whimper erupted from her lips and her eyes slammed shut as Abby, first, pinched her nipple and then pulled it, causing the skin to stretch to the point it almost hurt. A sweet caress and a soft, rolling massage came next though, and Raven whimpered through those touches too.

In the past, Raven had always liked sex hard and fast, thinking any tenderness would lead to catching feelings. Feelings were a thing she avoided as a general rule too, but Abby’s tender strokes meant so much already, she couldn’t help relaxing into the contact. It seemed like Abby was trying to get it right though, touching Raven like she was running through a check list in her head. The way Abby touched her wasn’t methodical like a doctor examining a patient, more like a mad scientist passionately testing a theory. There was fire and heat in Abby’s touch that burned Raven’s skin hotter and hotter with every second of contact. Even if Abby was just exploring, it wasn’t like she wasn’t ticking all Raven’s boxes anyway.

Eventually, Abby’s ministrations slowed, not to a stop necessarily, but Abby’s thumb only lightly brushed the tip of her nipple. Raven used the reprieve in stimulation to catch her breath a little, ultimately relaxing under Abby’s loving strokes. She vaguely heard her name, her pulse still roaring through in her head, among other places, but when Abby whispered, “Raven, look at me,” her eyes shot open. It took a second to focus, her vision blurry from how tightly she had been squeezing them. When Abby’s smiling face finally became clear, Raven realized Abby was hovering over her thus-far untouched nipple. She was sure Abby was going to say something, maybe even ask for permission again, but then Raven watched in awe as Abby’s mouth got closer and closer to her skin. The image of Abby taking her nipple into her mouth for the first time was too much for Raven and the second she felt wet heat envelope her aching nipple, her eyes slammed shut again.

Her hands scrunched tightly in the duvet for just a moment, needing something to ground her, but it wasn’t enough. She needed something to tether her to Abby, not to the rest of the world, and before she really knew what she was doing, her hands scrunched into Abby’s hair. Abby groaned against her nipple at the contact, sucking the surrounding flesh into her mouth for a moment before releasing the bud with a sharp, wet pop. Feeling Abby pull away, drew yet another broken sound from Raven’s throat, but she squirmed as Abby’s mouth quickly began trailing kisses down over her stomach again. Her grip relaxed a little at a time as Abby traced lower and lower, until she was barely holding on anymore. When Abby’s lips finally met the waistband of her jeans, Raven was too far gone to do anything but whisper, “please, Abby, pl-”

Deft fingers popped the button of her jeans, and then tugged on the zipper. A sudden gasp followed, and Raven shuddered and shook as hot breath washed over her, feeling completely out of control. Abby was nuzzling into her opened jeans a moment later, causing Raven to jerk and buck, suddenly desperate for more direct contact. In a flash Abby’s hands were pressing into her hips holding her down. She groaned, struggling against Abby’s hold, but each time her hips tried to lurch upwards, Abby simply pressed down harder. Whispered words danced across her mound then and even though Raven couldn’t hear Abby’s words, some part of her understood anyway, and she tried to relax, swallowing several deep breaths as she tried to get control over herself again.

Abby’s face stayed pressed against her pelvis, as hands started to rub at her hips, and then her thighs. Raven knew where Abby’s hands were headed, but when the feeling of Abby’s touch continued along one leg but disappeared from the other, she couldn’t stop herself from flinching. In that moment, she found herself hating her leg more than she ever had before. She tried to shake off the feeling, but somewhere in her heart she knew this would be it; this would when Abby finally came to her senses. This would be moment Abby would stop touching her, stop pursuing her, stop caring for her. She took a couple of deep breaths, trying to prepare for it, but still forcing herself to enjoy every second she was going to get. She sighed as Abby placed a soft kiss to her hip, for the first, and last, time.

Feeling Abby shuffle down the bed, Raven couldn’t bring herself to look, couldn’t face the image of Abby’s retreating back. Somehow, she knew there would be no apology, no goodbye; Abby would just be gone, like last time. The shuffling stopped though, and Raven shivered as she heard a whisper break the soft silence that followed, “It’s okay, honey. Just keep your eyes closed.”

Weight shifted near her slightly outstretched legs, and suddenly, it was an actual struggle to keep her eyes closed. Barely-there caresses teased her nerves, and Raven was instantly, insanely, curious. She didn’t open her eyes though, because she was scared that if she opened then, she would find herself alone, her nerves just playing tricks on her. She remembered what real phantoms sensations felt like, from when she was still in rehab. She wasn’t sure she could handle the rejection she would feel when those fears were confirmed. The strokes across her thighs felt real enough, but as they descended lower, they nearly disappeared completely and Raven strained, trying to feel what probably wasn’t there to begin with.

Overly focused on her sense of touch, Raven almost missed the soft clink of metal on metal. That sound was unmistakable though, and her eyes shot open. They quickly fixed on Abby, who was kneeling between her ankles, laying her brace off to the side of the bed, ever-so-reverently. She opened her mouth to speak, but her heart swelled with affection when Abby looked back at her. She tried to express what she was feeling, but no words would come out. Abby’s hands returned to her legs, massaging into her tense thigh muscles, and Raven hummed at the comforting motions. Abby’s massage continued downward, and even though Raven couldn’t feel the one side, she could see Abby fingers working the muscles of her dead leg all the same. She swooned at the action, knowing Abby was deliberately trying to lessen her anxiety. She relaxed further when Abby’s hands moved down over her knees to the backs of her calves, kneading her strong fingers into the muscles there too. When Raven glanced up again, Abby’s smiled softly as she said, “I already told you, Raven. I’m not running from this. Not because of that, not for anything.” Raven only blinked at her, almost blankly, as Abby added, “Raven, what can I do to convince you I mean what I say?”

Abby’s concern was something Raven had never experienced before. It was a tenderness like no other, born out of feelings so deep humanity didn’t even have names for them. Somehow, Abby had slipped off her brace, without her even noticing, and that was no small feat. No one except Octavia had ever touched her brace outside of physical therapy, but seeing Abby be so nonchalant about it, like it didn’t matter, sent her heart racing. Abby treated her brace like it was just another layer of clothing to be removed, and Raven suddenly couldn’t imagine anything she wanted more. She wanted to be naked; she wanted Abby to strip her bare until there was nothing left of her tough-girl façade. She actually wanted to be vulnerable for the first time in her life.

Lost in those feelings, Raven groaned when Abby unexpectedly scooted forward, sliding up in the bed until she was kneeling between Raven’s thighs. Abby’s weight leaned over her again and Raven struggled to breath as Abby began kissing along her collarbone, moving up her neck, finally settling under her ear. Abby’s next words were like a prayer, whispered against her skin, “Here, let me show you.”  The intent in Abby’s voice sent a shockwave through Raven’s entire body, and she shivered hard as Abby’s hands found her hips again. She fought the urge to whine as Abby’s fingers slipped under the waistband of her underwear. Those fingers teased along under the fabric, pulling it away from her skin just a little before moving on to a new spot. Raven couldn’t hold her hips still then, squirming, chasing Abby’s touch as it tickled the soft skin of her lower belly. She could feel Abby’s fingers drifting further and further down with each pass, but she was not prepared for the rush of sensation when Abby’s fingertips finally brushed over the dark tight curls covering her mound.

Her hips jerked awkwardly as Abby’s grip flexed in the fabric of her briefs, but as cool air rushed in against her skin, all she could do was gasp and tremble. Abby started pulling downward and Raven tried to help, shifting her weight onto her shoulders in order to lift her hips. Her pants and her underwear were gone a moment later, and as she became bare, Raven’s eyes darted up to Abby’s face. If she thought she was desperate for Abby’s touch before, the hungry look in Abby’s eyes made her feel absolutely panicked. All the tenderness and teasing had her so on edge already she wasn’t sure she could handle much more. If Abby didn’t touch her soon, she was going to explode into a fiery ball of molten omega. That would not be pretty. All she could think to do was beg and hope Abby would relieve some of the pressure building inside her. “Please, Abby, God please!” Raven frantically crooned, not the slightest bit embarrassed, driven absolutely wild with need.

Afraid that Abby was going to keep teasing, Raven groaned when a smug smile broke across Abby’s lips. Her deepest fears pushed back to the surface as Abby pushed up and away from her, settling on her knees once again. Raven couldn’t contain the needy whine that flew past her lips at the separation but then Abby hands gripped the hem of her own top and started pulling up. Raven wasn’t just speechless; she was utterly voiceless as the softly-padded cut of Abby’s abs was finally revealed to her. The sight of the nude balconette that covered Abby’s breasts stole her breath as well, but she couldn’t help fixating on the way Abby’s stomach muscles flexed and strained as Abby reached behind herself. Movement, a moment later, attracted Raven’s gaze right back to Abby’s chest though, when the balconette relaxed across Abby’s chest. She wanted to reach out and touch Abby then, to push the loose garment up, just to discover what wonders laid beneath, but then Abby’s arms came back around her front, and crossed over her chest. Abby’s hands moved up to cup her own shoulders, and Raven hesitated, not sure if Abby was covering herself because she was actually nervous, or if Abby was just pretending; teasing her again.

It was a slow sort of torture as Abby’s hands drifted down her own arms, dragging her bra straps down with them. It seemed like Abby had the patience of a saint, but Raven watched with rapt attention anyway, barely containing her eagerness as Abby teased her. When Abby’s hands paused at her elbows though, Raven immediately glanced up to Abby’s face, concerned as to why Abby had stopped. Apparently, her concern was warranted too, because Abby looked particularly distressed, obviously worried and embarrassed. That look brought Raven’s need to touch Abby flushing right back to the surface, and she didn’t stop herself that time. She brought her hands up, gently resting them on top of Abby’s hips, half her palm rubbing against the soft, elastic waistband of Abby’s scrubs, the other half blazing against Abby’s trembling skin. She heard, as well as felt it, when Abby heaved a heavy sigh at the contact. Raven worried they had come to a screeching halt, without actually coming of course, but it seemed one swipe of Raven’s thumbs was enough to relax Abby into continuing.

Abby’s hands and arms pulled away in flash, taking Abby’s bra with them, finally revealing Abby’s breasts from underneath. They sagged a little, heavy and full, but then the cool air hit them. Raven watched in awe as Abby’s wide nipples bounced right back up, puckering and straining against the sudden chill. It was probably the single most erotic experience of her life, but then Abby was leaning forward settling over her body again, and Raven lost all grasp on reality. The feeling of Abby’s supple breasts and toned abs pressing against her own was dreadfully overwhelming. Raven could barely breathe, she was so overcome by the sensation. Abby’s mouth crashed into her own as well and Raven followed Abby’s lead, too frantic with need to do anything but open her mouth when Abby’s tongue teased along the edge of her lips. She panted and gasped as Abby continued to seize her mouth, but her breath stopped altogether as she felt one of Abby’s hands slide down her side and come to rest on her hip. Abby squeezed down around the bone and Raven had no control over the way she jerked under the sudden pressure, sending her core into direct contact with somewhere near Abby’s navel. The friction was delicious, but Raven knew it was nowhere near enough; she needed to feel Abby everywhere, inside and out. When she tried to buck her hips again, chasing the warmth of Abby’s skin, the grip on her hip tightened again, pushing her down against the bed. She felt Abby give a smug chuckle against her lips, accompanied by a whispered, “Eager, are we?” Raven couldn’t even dignify that with a response, simply bringing her hands up to the sides of Abby’s neck, and immediately pulling Abby’s lips back against her own, frenzied desperation finally, and completely, overtaking her senses.

It seemed Abby was done wasting time too as Raven felt Abby’s fingers begin to drag down over her hip, beelining towards her sex. Raven splayed herself open as best she could, as two fingers tentatively slipped through her soaked folds. Her head swam when Abby groaned against her lips. Abby was obviously enjoying how wet she was, and Raven couldn’t stop herself from muttering against Abby’s lips, “A-all for you.” Another hitching groan reverberated against her lips and the once tentative movements of Abby’s fingers became instantly sure, firmer and faster. Despite Abby’s still firm grip on one side of her hip, Raven bucked and rolled against Abby’s touch, whimpering every time Abby purposefully avoided touching her clit. She felt Abby smirk against her cheek then, as the tips of those two fingers dipped just inside her already clenching entrance.

Much to Raven’s chagrin, Abby’s fingers didn’t linger though, slowly trailing up only a moment later. Raven cried out anyway, as she felt those soaked fingertips drag softly over the straining bud of her clit for the first time. The added wetness from her core had Raven so slippery she barely felt it, but as Abby repeated the motion, the friction and pressure increased exponentially. When that harsher stroke turned into two, and then three, and then more after that, it wasn’t long before Raven was moaning and screaming in pleasure. If she’d had the presence of mind, she would have worried about how thick the walls were between Abby’s townhouse and the next. Abby’s fingers began to slip back down again though, and suddenly, Raven forgot anything that wasn’t rubbing between her thighs. She groaned as she circled a few more times before finally, _finally,_ pushed inside.

A strangled croaking moan broke from Raven’s lips, the slight stretch so delightfully pleasurable that she no longer cared about anyone, or anything else in this world. Her body swayed to the rhythm as Abby drove her higher and higher, slowly thrusting deeper and deeper until finally, Raven felt Abby’s fingers slide all the way in. Abby’s knuckles pushed at her entrance then, grinding against her as Abby began to curl her fingers inside, clawing at her front inner wall, dragging herself in just a little deeper with each thrust. Raven couldn’t help herself as she cried out in sheer ecstasy, but then Abby’s lips covered her own, momentarily stifling her cries. That is, until Abby captured her bottom lip between her teeth. Then, Raven absolutely screamed. The submissive rush caused by the bite was far too brief, and as Abby’s lips started making their way up her jaw, Raven keened, wanting nothing more than Abby’s teeth sinking into her flesh over and over again.

Abby’s lips paused, hovering against her neck, and Raven took the moment to try to regain some of her focus. It was only a moment though, before all she could feel was her pulse pounding against her side of her neck, vibrating against the heat of Abby’s sucking mouth. Even though Abby kept pumping inside her, thrusting and curling and grinding, the feeling of Abby’s mouth sucking a deep mark into her skin superseded every other sensation. If Raven had even a shred of logic left, she would have known what a bad idea this was, but her instincts were _screaming, begging, praying, hoping,_ Abby would just take her.

The first brush of teeth, grazing against the source of her scent, made Raven whine desperately. She arched towards the touch, pressing herself up into Abby’s mouth. When those teeth actually set against her skin, her eyes slammed shut; it felt so good, so right, that it was almost too much to bare. She needed Abby like she’d never needed anyone else in her life, and before she could stop herself, Raven craned her neck violently to the side, eagerly offering herself to her alpha. She couldn’t resist her omega’s pleas anymore, compelling her to give herself, her whole self, to her alpha. She was so focused on the feeling of Abby’s teeth at her neck, that she didn’t even notice when she began brokenly chanting her alpha’s name, her tone down-right begging, as she choked out, “A-bby, Abb-y, Ab— ple-ease…”

A moment later, the heel of Abby’s hand caught her clit, rubbing in just the right way, and Raven felt herself reach the point of no return. She bucked harshly against Abby’s hand, muscles drawing up tight around Abby’s fingers as they reached deep inside her and curled one last time. The room spun as Raven’s orgasm hit her, surging through her like a high voltage shock. She was convulsing uncontrollably, insides squeezing and fluttering in waves, even as everything else went stark still around her.

Time seemed to stop completely then, teetering on the edge for what felt like an eternity. Abby’s teeth digging deeper finally brought Raven’s climax crashing down over her. There was a little pain where Abby’s teeth met her skin, but then a warm, safe feeling began to creep down into her bones. The slight discomfort at her neck was easily pushed to the back of her mind then, as her insides started to tingle and shake. The slight shaky feeling quickly transformed as her orgasm rushed back to the forefront of her mind. Raven could do nothing but ride the wave, as pulse after pulse wrecked its way through her body. She could feel her insides wrapping themselves tighter and tighter around her alpha’s fingers again, but the rolling waves of her release seemed to never end. Eventually, she thought, maybe, she was coming down, but her inner walls just kept getting tighter as Abby gently continued to thrust into her. Her walls gave a particularly heavy roll when Abby curled her fingers once again and Raven’s whole body jerked and pitched wildly as the tension in her core finally seized, her muscles constricting so harshly inside her, Abby’s fingers were literally forced out of her. The sudden change in pressure caused Raven to whine in disappointment, but Abby’s touch returned in no time, stroking slowly over her clit with wide, firm circles, instantly easing her through her distress. The content hum Abby released was almost as soothing as the motions, but still, Raven appreciated the stimulation, drawing her second orgasm out for far longer than she would have ever expected it to last.

Abby’s mouth never left the side of neck either, lips and tongue obviously attempting to soothe the broken flesh covering her scent gland. Raven knew she should feel alarmed; she had just taken an alpha’s mark, an alpha she barely knew, but as the last dredges of her orgasm finally slacked off, Raven couldn’t find it in herself to regret it. She simply slumped back against the bed and enjoyed the way Abby’s warmth flowed over her. She laid there wasted and spent for a long time, but when she finally felt like she could move, she slowly brought one hand up to cradle the back of Abby’s neck. Her alpha was still lavishing her skin with soft licks and gentle suction. Abby seemed to content to continue as well, growling into her neck as Raven tried to pull her away. She tightened her fingers around back of Abby’s neck and tugged lightly anyway, needing to look in Abby’s eyes. She needed to know if this was what Abby wanted, because now that she was Abby’s, she wanted Abby to be hers too.

Flexing her grip, Raven pulled at Abby’s neck again, and her alpha grumbled and growled again as well, but eventually, Abby’s lips pulled away from her skin. Instead of moving off her though, Abby just shifted up, quickly capturing Raven’s lips. Raven didn’t even think about protesting, groaning into the kiss as Abby claimed her mouth. Sure, Raven had just had two of the best orgasms of her life but tasting her own essence on her alpha’s lips was by far the most pleasant rush she had ever felt. She whirred into Abby’s mouth then, and the sound earned her a purr in response. She’d never felt so sated and content; Abby’s firm weight still leaning against her, making her feel safe, Abby’s soft skin pressed against her own, making her feel warm, Abby’s fingers still moving against her sex, tending to her, occasionally slipping back inside her. Abby made her feel oh-so-full, and really, in more ways than in just the obvious one. She felt full; heart and mind, body and soul. There was a little niggling disappointment that she hadn’t been able to reciprocate her own claim on Abby, but just as soon as the thought came, it went away again. Abby was nosing her way in under her jaw, anyway, making Raven shiver as Abby began lavishing her skin once more. It was all lips and tongue and teeth, Abby gently murmuring, “Mine, all mine,” into her skin between kisses. Apparently, Abby couldn’t get enough, and Raven didn’t even think about denying her alpha, not for a second.


	20. The Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Two chapters today!!! Enjoy!

Anya’s promising tone made Octavia groan. She couldn’t believe that an orgasm like that was ‘just the beginning’ of anything. Her hips rolled up against Anya’s frame anyway, Octavia’s whole body tensing with anticipation. A rough grip fixed on her hips though, the fabric of her leggings bunching under the force. Strong arms held her down as she tried to buck again and she groaned, not necessarily in frustrated but verging on it. Her groan drew a snarl from Anya, one that demanded her submission. Octavia gave it too, instantly stilling under Anya, whimpering and whirring in apology. Anya’s grip flexed against her hips, taking an even firmer hold in the fabric of her leggings. Octavia felt her hips lurch up again, despite the fact that she was actively trying to hold them still, and she gasped as abruptly Anya jerked away. She whined, thinking she’d already proved how inept she could be, but not even a full second later, the cool air of the room hit her, and Octavia realized she was, finally, completely bare before Anya.

Snapping her head up, Octavia immediately searched for Anya, only to find to the alpha transfixed, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. Anya was gazing almost longingly, directly between her splayed thighs. Octavia felt like squirming under the intense stare, but something about the way Anya was looking at her, had her completely unable to move. Maybe, it was the awestruck expression, or the hungry glint in Anya’s eyes. Maybe, it was the way Anya’s hands started trailing down her own stomach, moving towards the waistband of those leather pants. Either way, Octavia was rooted to her spot on the bed.

Eventually, her body actually moved of its own accord, her thighs falling open to an almost obscene angle as she watched Anya through her bent knees. She felt her mouth go dry as Anya unbuttoned her pants and pulled down the zipper. When just the hint of Anya’s green briefs came into view, Octavia gasped, eyes zeroing in on the flash of colorful fabric. She couldn’t look away as Anya bent at the waist, slowly pulling her pants down, and then eventually off. When Anya stood up again, Octavia got a very clear impression of how aroused Anya was; the fabric of her underwear damp and clinging. She couldn’t see details, per se, but the way Anya’s underwear tented, she could clearly see the outline of Anya’s clit. It was long, like a ridge, and as Octavia watched, the tip twitched under her gaze.

The twitch made Anya groan, and even though it was a soft sort of noise, Octavia’s eyes immediately shot up to Anya’s face, instincts following the source of the sound. A whine broke from her chest when she found Anya’s eyes still fixed between her thighs. She felt herself clench and drip, hips jumping of their own accord once again. The fierceness of Anya’s gaze felt almost as good as Anya actually touching her. Her own clit gave a heavy throb and for just a second Octavia thought she was going to come. It was so overwhelming, she could barely keep up as Anya drifted out of her vision, eyes only catching up in time to watch Anya’s underwear hit the floor.

Mesmerized, Octavia tried to take in all Anya’s curves and angles. She was all tight, chiseled lines; sinewy muscles strained with barely contained power. She looked like a firecracker ready to explode, skin flushed red and shining with sweat. The thing that attracted Octavia’s attention the most though, was Anya’s large, prominent clit, slick and glistening, standing out proud against a background of neatly trimmed curls. It was obvious then, how swollen Anya was, firm and ready, pulsing against the open air. Anya’s clit was twitching and jerking so much that Octavia could actually see it throb. Panting at the sight, Octavia felt her thighs fall absolutely open to Anya, and suddenly she was desperate to have Anya back on top of her, to have Anya’s sex pressed up against her own, to feel Anya’s arousal paint over her skin. Anya started to move back to the bed then, and Octavia glanced back up, shivering at the wolfish grin she found on Anya’s lips. It wasn’t long before Anya was settling between her thighs again, and when their skin met, she groaned, the feeling of Anya’s clit rubbing against her folds too much for her to handle. If she thought that first brush was completely overwhelming, she was not prepared for when Anya started to move against her in earnest.

The first time Anya’s clit circled around her own, a hoarse moan filled the air. It took Octavia a second to realize that she hadn’t actually been the one to make the sound. The coy grin Anya had been wearing was gone, totally eclipsed by a look of complete ecstasy. Octavia was sure she had a similar expression on her own face, but she couldn’t be worried about that, not when Anya began to grind against her in slow, wide circles. It was only another minute before Anya’s expression changed again, this time a fierce look of determination coming over Anya’s features. The struggle that was going on inside Anya was obvious; Anya was trying not to come before she did. Octavia felt insanely close too, but Anya’s rhythm faltered as she began worrying her lip between her teeth. Anya must have been very close. Octavia could see the tight, flexing twitches of Anya’s stomach muscles every time Anya’s hips pumped forward. She could feel the slight tremble in Anya’s arms as Anya hovered over her. She could hear Anya’s straining to hold back too, Anya’s breath coming out in harsh grunts and rough sighs. Anya delaying her own pleasure, just to make her come again, made Octavia feel like she was on top of the world. She never thought sex would be like this, so infinitely, overwhelmingly, good. A sudden thought hit her; if sex was going to be like this every time, at least with Anya anyway, Octavia didn’t think she wanted to have sex with anyone else, ever.

Eventually, Anya’s hips began to pick up speed again, and Octavia’s eyes slammed shut when Anya began to drive into her with force. She couldn’t stop the wanton lusty sounds that pushed their way out of her throat then. Each pass of slick on slick brought filthier and filthier sounds out of her mouth. Anya’s rough motions were rocking her into a sort of frenzy. She was so far gone, she barely noticed Anya’s weight shifting on top of her, but then she felt Anya’s fingernails digging sharply into the back of one of her thighs. She went completely lax under the firm grip, instantly trusting Anya to position her however she wanted. Her leg lifted, wrapping around Anya’s waist. The angle of Anya’s thrusts suddenly changed, and the new friction and pressure tore an absolutely shameless moan from Octavia’s throat. She couldn’t believe how perfect it all felt, but as Anya picked up the pace again, Octavia was surprised to find that ‘perfect’ wasn’t nearly good enough to describe how she felt.

Cooing and whimpering into each thrust, Octavia tried to keep up as Anya rubbed against her, over and around, and over and around again, rotating and twisting her hips with each pass. She could feel herself swelling with each drag of flesh on flesh. The pressure made her abs contract and flex, her insides clenching and throbbing, needing release. She’d never felt so close to the edge before. She just hoped that when she finally tipped, Anya would fall over the edge with her. She clenched her fists in the sheets at the thought, dreaming of sharing something so powerful with someone else. It was the idea of sharing it with Anya that really made her nerves tingle though.

Anya’s weight suddenly shifted again, and Octavia’s eyes popped open when a hand landed in the middle of her sternum. Anya was staring down at her, eyes hazy and filled with fire. Fingernails dug into her skin, on her chest and on the back of her thigh, and Octavia’s mouth fell open in a silent scream as Anya started simply slamming their hips together. Anya was riding her sex with a wild sort of abandon, like Anya’s very life depended on the movement. She had just enough headspace to notice that Anya’s thrusts weren’t as smooth as they had been, but that didn’t stop Octavia from preening under the rough strokes, relishing in the barely restrained power of Anya driving against her.

One more, particularly hard, grind was all it took for Octavia to stiffen under Anya’s ministrations, insides pulsing and clenching, as her orgasm finally washed over her. Every nerve tingled and fired, shooting up and down her arms and legs, clenching her fists and curling her toes. She was so caught up in her bliss, she didn’t even realize when Anya followed after her only a few thrusts later. A sharp cry punctuated Anya’s release though, calling out to Octavia, and their eyes met just as the shuddering waves of Anya’s orgasm crashed down against her. Anya’s orgasm was so powerful that Octavia felt like she was falling over the edge all over again. She floated through the waves for a long moment, expecting Anya to tire, but instead of slowing, Anya continued on, hips rocking against her, keeping the same brutal pace. She felt so deliciously sensitive after so much intensity, and Anya’s rough rhythm almost hurt.

There was something about the near pain that made Octavia even more eager for Anya to continue though. She clutched to Anya then, nails sinking into the first place she could get ahold of. Anya hissed in response, and for just a moment Octavia thought she might actually be hurting her, but then Anya arched into her grip and simply continued driving her body on, riding Octavia harder and wilder, until finally Octavia had no choice but to succumb to the pressure building inside her again, this time gushing all over Anya and herself, as another orgasm bowled right through her, utterly wrecking her.

 

~~~

 

Feeling Octavia come, more than once, completely bare against her, was such an overwhelming feeling. Aftershocks were still shivering through Anya’s body, several minutes after her own orgasm had actually ended. Her whole body shook and trembled, and despite the fact that Octavia was obviously still enjoying the now-slower movements of her hips, Anya just couldn’t keep going. She couldn’t even hold herself up any longer, especially after a marathon like that. She slumped over on top of Octavia, rather unapologetically, but when Octavia released a pleasant sigh, she figured at least she wasn’t crushing her or anything. They laid there for a long time recovering then, but eventually Anya felt Octavia shift underneath her, clearly getting uncomfortable. She braced her hands on the bed on either side of Octavia and used her still wobbly arms to push herself up. She managed to create enough space to meet Octavia’s eyes, and the sheepish grin she found was ever-so-endearing. She smiled herself, as Octavia whispered, “uh, could you— I just, have to…”

It took Anya a second to figure out what Octavia was trying to say, but when she did, she blushed as she said, “Yeah, ok… Just let me… Ugh…” She rolled off of Octavia as delicately as she could then, but still, it didn’t stop her from groaning as cool air rushed in between them. She glanced down into the gap she was creating, and even though she had felt Octavia gush all over her, the sight of her own glistening body covered in Octavia’s release, brought with it a satisfied feeling she hadn’t been expecting. Octavia squirmed under her hesitation though, so Anya slumped back down onto the bed in a huff. She was trying to preserve the sheets as best she could, but it was a lost cause and she knew it. She felt like the effort was worth it though, especially because her new position gave her a spectacular view of Octavia’s back. Anya watched her muscles move as Octavia scooched over to the side of the bed and stood up. The view got even better then, when she could take in the firm swell of Octavia’s ass and thighs. She was busted a second later when Octavia looked back at her then, but Anya wasn’t going to feel guilty for appreciating Octavia’s figure. Anya thought she saw a little uncertainty rising in Octavia’s eyes, but she quickly figured out where that was coming from. She simply waved her hand towards the open door on the opposite side of the room, almost laughing when Octavia quickly scurried towards it.

It was a little surprising when Octavia didn’t take the time to close the door, but obviously she was in a rush to relieve herself. Anya figured it was either simply that urgent, or Octavia just didn’t have a lot in the way of personal boundaries. She wasn’t sure she was really ready to admit it, but the idea of having no boundaries with Octavia was very appealing. Something inside her said it could mean more than that, but she’d tried not to read too much into it. Just the simple fact that Octavia would pee with her within ear shot made Anya smile anyway.

Time passed, a minute, maybe two, maybe five, Anya wasn’t really sure how long, but eventually, when Octavia didn’t come back into the bedroom. Anya began to get nervous. She worried that maybe Octavia regretted what they had just done, or that she had hurt Octavia in some way. She strained her ears, focusing on the bathroom, but she couldn’t hear anything going on in there. She leaned up a little but quickly realized she couldn’t really see either. The bed was just off center enough that all she could see were Octavia’s feet. Those feet shuffled a little bit and Anya suddenly felt nervous enough to actually get up and check on Octavia, but then those feet finally took weight and the rest of Octavia’s body came into view. She was still too dimly lit for Anya to make out her face, but Anya could tell from Octavia’s body language she was upset. She seemed a little curled in on herself, shoulders hunched and head hanging lower than had been a minute ago. She fought against the urge to go to Octavia then. She wanted to give Octavia space if she needed it, let Octavia come to her when she was ready. She knew first times could be really intense, and she had tried her best to make Octavia’s first time more special than most. She hoped she had succeeded, but the longer Octavia stood at the sink, not washing her hands, just staring ahead into the mirror, the more uneasy Anya felt about the entire night.

Had she been too forward at dinner? _No_ … She remembered how Octavia had pretty much jumped her the second she was close enough. She was sure her flirting had been well received too, especially with the way Octavia had blushed every time she’d said something sexy or insinuating. Had she been too aggressive? _No_ … She remembered how Octavia had purred and preened every time her grip had tightened; how much Octavia had obviously enjoyed it when she had taken control. Had she been too rough? _No_ … ‘Well… I don’t think so,’ Anya thought, closing her eyes trying to focus herself. She ran over the whole encounter in her head, thinking back to each time she’d used her teeth or her nails. Octavia had arched into the touch each time, moaning and groaning with each rough scrap of teeth or gouge of Anya’s nails. Octavia had returned her roughness even, with roughness of her own. Anya glanced down at herself then, immediately spotting the places where Octavia had grabbed her there towards the end; little crescent-moon shapes dug into the skin of her forearm. They looked like just indentations, but with the way Octavia had gripped her, Anya wasn’t sure Octavia hadn’t broken the skin.

A sniffling came from the bathroom then, and Anya immediately sat up, ready to rush to Octavia’s side. Octavia was already making her back into the room anyway though, so Anya stayed put, figuring sudden movements probably weren’t the best idea at the moment. The look in Octavia’s eyes was sad, almost fearful; a look that made Anya’s heart hurt. ‘God, what have I done? She looks terrified,’ Anya thought as Octavia paused at the edge of the bed, but then Octavia rushed into her space, forcing her way into Anya’s lap. Even though she had little choice, Anya gladly swept Octavia up into her arms, sighing out soothing pheromones as she purred, “What’s the matter, baby?”

For several sniffle-filled moments Octavia didn’t say anything, but the near silence didn’t really worry Anya. Octavia was in her arms, taking comfort from her body and her scent, and she figured Octavia would tell her what was wrong when she was ready, when she could. The response she eventually got, wasn’t quite what she had expected though, when Octavia whimpered against her throat, “I just— I w-wi-wiped it a-all a-aw-way. I-I’m s.s..s…”

It took Anya only a second to understand the words, but it took considerably longer for her to understand what they actually meant. She nearly chuckled when she did figure it out, thinking how irrational it was for Octavia to be upset about cleaning up after their little marathon. When she replayed Octavia’s mumbled words through again though, she realized Octavia had been trying to apologize. She smiled then, as the bigger picture became clear; Octavia wasn’t upset about cleaning herself up, not necessarily anyway. Octavia was upset about wiping away the sticky mess Anya had made of her, and Anya would bet money that Octavia was afraid she had wiped away their connection along with it.

Wanting to soothe Octavia’s fears, she gently began rubbing her hand up and down Octavia’s back, murmuring, “Shh, shh, shh, little O, it’s ok. We did make a quite the mess. It’s ok to clean up… There’s no need to be so upset.” Octavia didn’t respond, not in a coherent way at any rate. She didn’t shuffle or nod, didn’t speak; just continued to whimper and cry against the side of Anya’s neck. It was enough to worry Anya that something else entirely might be wrong, so she tentatively asked, “Is… is that what has you so upset?” Octavia still didn’t speak, merely nodded slightly instead, and the small defeated movement, combined with Octavia still sniffling against her neck made Anya feel a little lost. She wasn’t exactly sure how to fix this kind of problem, mostly because in all her experience she’d never had an omega get upset over something like this, but she figured it was time to go big or go home. Deciding to be bold, Anya leaned in close, adding in a little bit firmer tone, “Octavia, please give me your hand…” She waited for a moment or two for Octavia to comply, but when Octavia didn’t offer up her hand, Anya simply leaned in closer, whispering pleadingly into Octavia’s ear, “please, baby girl, don’t be afraid… let me show you… you didn’t wipe it _all_ away, I promise…”

 

~~~

 

Anya’s fingers slipping around her wrist made Octavia tremble, because the truth was, she was afraid. When she’d first entered the bathroom, she had thought about closing the door, but the idea of being physically separated from Anya, even if only by the wooden bathroom door, had felt so utterly wrong. She needed to know Anya was still there, needed to know that connection was still there. She hadn’t really been surprised by the amount of slick she had found between her thighs, but when she wiped to clean herself up, she couldn’t help thinking about how she was actually wiping away the evidence of her connection to Anya. She hadn’t meant to get so upset about it; it was stupid and crazy really, but there was a part of her that had needed that connection then and still needed it, crazy or not.

Her mind only wandered so far though, because when Anya started to draw her hand down between their bodies, her attention snapped back to the present. She shivered as she felt Anya’s abs roll against her touch, but Anya simply kept pushing her hand further and further down, until her fingers finally met soaking wet, heat. Anya whispered a smug, “see, I told you so,” into her ear and Octavia groaned, both at Anya’s words and the feeling of their combined release still soaking Anya’s sex. She quickly realized that this was even better than having it between her own thighs, feeling her slick mixed with Anya’s on Anya’s own skin. She was instantly desperate for it, needing to do more than just touch it. She needed to see it for herself. She needed to taste it.

Feeling inspired, she slipped her hand down a little further and palmed Anya’s whole sex in her hand, giving Anya a gentle squeeze as she whispered, “please, Anya, can I— I want more.” It excited her to no end when Anya immediately started shuffling back towards the headboard, dragging Octavia along with her. The shift in power was almost palpable then, as Anya settled against the pillows at the top of the bed and waited. Octavia hurried to take advantage too, quickly straddling Anya’s hips. Their cores connected again, for the briefest of moments, and Octavia groaned when Anya bucked up into her, dragging their clits together. Octavia nearly lost herself in the sensation, but as Anya started to set a rhythm, she realized that that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to service Anya, to show Anya how much she was wanted, how much she was needed even. She scooted down just a little, so the top of her mound was resting against Anya’s sex. It didn’t feel nearly as good to either of them, but she rocked her hips forward a few times, trying to appease Anya’s disappointed groan anyway.

When no further protests were forthcoming, Octavia shifted down a little more. She came eye to eye, so to speak, with the hard, dusky peaks of Anya’s breasts and she couldn’t resist, quickly latching onto one. She knew she didn’t have any experience with this, but she would be damned if she wasn’t going to do everything in her power to bring Anya right up to the edge of oblivion, and then push her over. She worked her mouth over one breast, and then the other, until she could hear Anya panting greedily above her. It was obvious Anya was fighting her very nature though, allowing Octavia such control over their passion. Octavia could see the struggle in the gnash of Anya’s teeth, and hear it in the growling rumble emanating from Anya’s chest. She knew Anya would never be able to relax enough in this position to really enjoy herself, but she figured there was a way to fix that too. She jostled a little further down the bed and angled her hips towards the side of the bed. She left a few light little kisses over Anya’s abs then, sliding further across the bed as she went, until she was slipping off the bed completely, knees hitting the floor with a soft thud.

Looking up just in time, Octavia saw the moment Anya realized what she intended. She shivered under Anya’s hungry gaze, but instead of giving into her own desires, she simply pressed herself up against the side of the bed, tilted her head back, and opened her mouth. When Anya’s eyes suddenly widened, Octavia was delighted, but despite the shock evident in Anya’s face, she still smiled as she hurried to reposition herself over Octavia’s waiting face.

With Anya’s legs draped over her shoulders, Octavia couldn’t help but to run her hands along the outsides of Anya’s calves and thighs, loving the feeling of Anya’s hard muscles moving beneath her soft skin. Even still, Anya’s muscles definitely weren’t the full focus of her attention. The glistening head of Anya’s clit, staring her in the face, was almost too tempting to resist. One of Anya’s hands met her cheek though, and Octavia easily submitted to the unspoken request, tilting her head up to look into Anya’s eyes instead. It was a powerful moment, Anya’s eyes boring into her, silently asking if this was what Octavia wanted. Octavia couldn’t think of anything she wanted more really, and so, still meeting Anya’s eyes, she leaned forward and licked.

The first taste of Anya, of her and Anya together really, was intoxicating. Despite her need to keep a visual connection with Anya, Octavia’s eyes slid closed of their own accord. She scraped her tongue over her teeth, relishing in Anya’s flavor. She tasted like the ocean, briny and crisp, but there seemed to be life teaming beneath the surface. Octavia quickly realized just one taste wasn’t going to be enough. She eagerly dipped forward again, tongue out, dragging over Anya’s sex once more. The second taste was even better than the first, a refreshing gush of citrus mixing with the salt, creating a sharp, fresh flavor. She felt Anya’s hand slip into her hair then, and she groaned as Anya’s gave her a little tug of encouragement. Octavia eagerly fell forward too, lapping again and again. She tried to keep her swipes slow and wide over Anya’s thin folds, but she couldn’t help swirling her tongue in a sharp circle every time she reached the tip of Anya’s clit. She loved the way it twitched against her lips. Soon, the pulsing of Anya’s clit became too tempting to draw away from, and Octavia found her strokes growing faster and firmer as she rolled over it. She cupped the swell in the hollow of her tongue, before dragging up to flick at the tip. She focused on the sounds Anya made as she worked, each grunt and groan egging her on. She concentrated on the way Anya’s fingers tightened and relaxed in her hair as well, each little tug telling her just how much Anya liked what she was doing.

Eventually, the need to see Anya’s pleasure grew too great though, and Octavia opened her eyes. She instantly stilled as the most magnificent sight appeared above her. Anya was staring down at her, eyes dark, lips drawn back over her teeth as she panted. Octavia could see Anya’s chest heaving, the tight muscles of her stomach twitching and flexing with each breath. She was so struck by the sight, it took her a moment to realize Anya was whimpering as she panted, the sounds strained and barely contained. She knew what Anya needed, and could see the way Anya was fighting against her urges to just take it, to just take her.

Not wanting Anya to have to wait any longer, she leaned in once again, moaning when a new splash of wetness met her tongue. Anya’s hand flexed in her hair and she moaned again, allowing the sound to vibrate against Anya’s clit. Anya’s eyes shuttered shut with the next swipe of her tongue and Octavia could tell Anya was beginning to lose her internal battle with her instincts. Her hips were pressing forward into each touch, and Anya’s hand wasn’t just flexing in her hair anymore; it was clutching tighter and tighter, pulling until her scalp started to burn. The slight pain felt wonderful though, as Anya started to grind against her tongue with each stroke.

As Anya’s hips churned against her, Octavia realized she wasn’t getting the contact she wanted anymore though. Anya’s hips were jerking so wildly, some of the friction was getting lost in the process. Determined to make Anya come, the next time her tongue grazed the tip of Anya’s clit, Octavia pressed forward and sucked it into her mouth. Anya’s hips stilled, and she let out a loud groan, but the sudden reaction only made Octavia suck harder. Her hands flew up to grip Anya’s hips too, because while she loved having Anya’s pulsing clit in her mouth, Octavia realized she wanted Anya to keep moving.

A moment later, she got her wish too, when Anya’s hips jerked forward again, quickly picking up a harsh rhythm. Octavia really latched on then, sucking harder and harder with each pass of Anya’s hips. She grew ravenous for Anya to come. She wanted to take it in her mouth, wanted to swallow it. She wanted to take some part of Anya inside herself, so they’d always have a connection; a deep one, if Octavia had her way. As more and more obscene sounds began to erupt from Anya’s throat, Octavia felt Anya’s hands wrenching and flexing in her hair. Despite Octavia’s inexperience, it was obvious how close Anya was getting. The only reaction Octavia could muster was digging her nails into Anya’s hips and pulling forward, urging Anya to ride her face. She couldn’t have been more pleased when Anya started thrusting against her mouth then, rough and demanding, driving her head back onto her neck until it ached. She simply moaned into the pain, loving the way Anya seemed to get lost in her own pleasure.

With Anya’s rough pace, it was hard for Octavia to keep her eyes open, the force of Anya’s thrusts causing her to blink with every third or fourth pass. She delighted in it though, taking the harsh rhythm as best she could, moaning as Anya jerked her head around, humping her face with more and more urgency. The pulsing of Anya’s clit continued to increase until Anya’s was literally shaking in her mouth. It was probably one of the hottest things Octavia had ever experienced. She whimpered around the swollen flesh, throbbing inside her, down-right desperate to taste the force of Anya’s release. Her breath hitched in the next moment though, when Anya called out above her, the only two real words Anya had managed to choke out since that first lick, “OH-H-H GOD!”

Sighing, Octavia tried to prepare herself as Anya’s body seized above her. The rush of fluid that followed, flooded her mouth in a blast, washing the inside of her mouth with more of Anya’s salty, citrus flavor. She wanted to savor the moment, the taste and the warmth, but when Anya’s clit lurched in her mouth, preparing for another gush, she quickly swallowed, suddenly just eager for more. And, more came, and came, and came. So much that, before long, Octavia felt like she might drown in Anya’s release. She didn’t miss a drop though, following when Anya hips started to push into her face again, not at the same brutal pace as before but in a more uneven pattern. Octavia didn’t find it hard to keep up anymore though, easily telegraphing Anya’s movements, reading Anya’s intentions with each pulse of her clit.

Eventually, those pulses trailed off, and as the flood receded, Octavia found herself pulling back to lap up every last morsel of Anya’s release. Pride swelled in her chest, as Anya groaned into the attention. It made her inner omega whirr in pure, unadulterated bliss, knowing that she was the one making Anya feel that good. She continued licking and lapping; at least, until it seemed like Anya couldn’t take anymore, her alpha shifting away with a hiss. She nearly whined when the movement pulled Anya’s sex away from her mouth, but when Octavia glanced up to find Anya’s stomach muscles quivering and her chest heaving, she understood.

Apparently, she had just rocked Anya’s world on the first try. She was actually glad Anya couldn’t see the smug smile that split her lips at the thought. She’d been so focused on Anya’s pleasure, Octavia had sort of forgotten about the rest of the world, but as she stretched up, her knees creaked, and her feet tingled from lack of blood flow. She bit back a groan as the pins and needles set in. Anya’s head immediately tipped up though, and when their eyes met, Octavia knew instantly she hadn’t managed to completely stifle the sound. It seemed Anya’s strength was returning however, because a moment later, Octavia found herself being dragged up into the bed, Anya’s long arms wrapping around her as she settled into Anya’s chest. She nestled her face into Anya’s waiting neck, sucking in every last breath she could get of Anya. She couldn’t help but to sigh as Anya’s lips met her forehead, not kissing, just resting against her skin as Anya’s nose nuzzled into her hair.

They laid in each other’s arms for a long time, just breathing each other in, absorbing one another, but ultimately, it was Anya’s raspy voice that broke the bliss filled silence that had formed between them, as she said, “I think you may have lied to me.”

Scoffing, Octavia instantly felt offended, and before she could stop herself, she sharply pulled away from Anya, as she barked, “I absolutely did no—” About halfway through her vehement reply though, she realized that she wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. She quickly decided that instead of railing into Anya, she should know what they were talking about first. It was hard, but she managed choke herself off, turning the conversation as she coughed out, “Wa—wait, about… about what?”

Hearing Anya chuckle up at her made Octavia’s blood boil a little bit, but that was mostly because she should have seen where this was going right from the start. Before Anya could reply, she quickly caught up, already planning her next moves as Anya slowly said, “I think you lied to me when you told me you’ve never done this before.”

Stuttering in mock surprise, Octavia blurted out, “An-Anya, I wouldn’t l-lie to you about that, I… I promise.”

Anya played right into her hand too, quickly asking, “Then how do you seem to be so good at it… without any practice, hm?”

Taking her time, Octavia ‘thought’ about her reply for just a moment before she said, “Hmmph… I don’t know, maybe you’re just that easy.”

Her teasing was spot on too, as Anya growled playfully and rolled her over on to her back, pinning Octavia’s willing hands above her head once again. She shivered as Anya dipped into her neck then and whispered against her ear, “Easy, huh? Yeah, we’ll see who’s easy...” At the time, Octavia worried she might regret provoking Anya, but hours later, as she was trying to fall, she thought she’d have to try to provoke her alpha more often. Sure, she’d probably sore tomorrow, but the string of orgasms her teasing had produced, was well worth the discomfort. If she was being honest, she thought she would probably enjoy being sore almost as much as how she’d gotten that way.


	21. The Old Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know folks... It's been a full week since I got in an update, and for that I apologize. Not that it's an excuse, but it was a pretty busy week; driving 15 hours for a 36-hour vacation (totally worth it), and then I put in three extra long days at work (only worth it when I get that paycheck next week). Somewhere in all that, I still managed to get this done and the next chapter, so expect that shortly.
> 
> Also, I realized I put up chapters 19 and 20 in the wrong order (whoops!), so I'll be swapping those around once these two chapters are posted... It doesn't really change anything, but I originally wrote it the other way around so... yeah...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the two chapter day!

Abby’s chanted words, ‘Mine, all mine…’ calmed Raven more than she thought they should. It was an unbelievably heady feeling, having Abby ‘possess’ her, being Abby’s, but the solemnness of Abby’s tone made Raven very much want Abby to be hers too. For the moment, she was content to allow Abby to just hold her, calm her, but as the time passed, that _want_ started to become more of a _need_. There was a togetherness, a certainty, that seemed just out of reach and an urge began to build inside her, an urge to complete the cycle Abby had started, to claim Abby as her own as well. She didn’t want the moment to end though, didn’t want Abby’s lips to leave her throat, the contact soothing the ache in her muscles where Abby’s teeth had pierced her skin. She could tell Abby was enjoying attending to her as well, if the little pleased hums and sighs Abby was releasing against her neck were any indication.

That _need_ to claim grew ever stronger though, until it was an almost uncontrollable, insatiably devouring sort of thing, and by the time Abby’s lips finally settled against her neck, Raven felt like she might explode if she didn’t have Abby for her own. The feeling made it hard to focus and she wasn’t sure if she could get the words out, but she swallowed against the dryness in her throat anyway, to try, eventually choking out, “Please, Abby, I need you too.” Her words came out huskier than she meant them to be, more pleading too, but she guessed Abby had wrecked her voice just as well as the rest of her body. Even though it had been several minutes since her orgasm had crested, when she tried to shift to pull Abby closer to her, she still felt slightly wobbly and loose.

Nearly whining when Abby started to pull away from her hold, Raven missed the warmth of Abby’s breath before it even left her skin, but then their eyes met a moment later. Seeing Abby’s darkened pupils, spread so wide there was almost nothing left of her beautiful brown irises, Raven found herself easily getting lost in that darkness. Abby’s desire to be hers was so clear in those eyes, a need as strong as her own swirling in the abyss, a willingness like Raven had never seen before. The sight made her heart swell and she instinctively pulled her arms tight, pulling her alpha back down on top of her, burying her face in the side Abby’s neck. She gasped, in awe, instantly feeling Abby’s heartbeat against her lips, as it thumped away just under Abby’s skin. She nuzzled in against that throbbing pulse, and traced her tongue along it, agonizing over her desire to mark her alpha right then and there.

But, when she felt the almost nonexistent scar over Abby’s scent, she pulled away, flinching as Abby shuddered against her. She could instantly feel the tension rising inside Abby, and she tried to moderate some of that anxiety by bringing her hands up Abby’s back, running them over her bare skin in soothing circles. Eventually, Abby relaxed a little, at least enough that Raven could nuzzle in against her neck again and as she breathed Abby in once more, she realized she could still sense the desire underlying Abby’s scent, despite the lingering tension. It was more than enough to draw her further in and she placed her lips over Abby’s scent, kissing, promising, as she brought her hands back to Abby’s sides, urging Abby to roll off of her.

Abby seemed to go willingly enough, but Raven still pulled away from Abby’s neck as she settled into on Abby’s side, suddenly unsure of how to proceed. Abby turned to look at her, and when they were face to face once more, Raven looked deep down into Abby’s eyes again. She could still see the need swimming in those depths, a need Raven’s omega was more than willing to sate, but she could also see a fear there that that her omega _needed_ to sate. She brought her hand to Abby’s face, noticing even more of the tension drain from Abby’s face at the contact. She began rubbing her thumb over Abby’s cheek, and was pleased when Abby’s eyes closed. She smiled when her alpha sighed, pressing up into her touch. Her hand drifted then, over Abby’s jaw, and up to the corner of her eye, down onto her neck, over her shoulder; the tension seeping further and further away with every brush of skin on skin. When she eventually brought her hand back to the side of Abby’s neck, cupping Abby’s pulse with her palm, Abby’s eyes opened once again, and the sureness Raven found there, was overwhelming. There was no more fear, no more doubt, just acceptance and hope and _need._

Abby’s voice drifted into her ears then, as husky as her own had been a moment ago, as Abby said, “Please, Raven… just, please…” The words sent a sharp shiver down her spine, the begging tone making her omega keen and wail inside her chest. Some of the sound escaped too, as she released a groaned whine, her fingertips digging into Abby’s neck when Abby pitched against her at the vibration. She felt the desire to do more than just claim came then, the type of desire to make Abby pitch and scream and break for her. She quickly moved to wrap her good leg around one of Abby’s legs, hoping to feel more of Abby’s skin, only to realize Abby was still wearing some of her clothes. ‘Yeah, those have to go,’ Raven thought as she brought her hand down to begin playing with the drawstring waistband of Abby’s scrubs, her alpha shivering when she pulled at the tie.

Hands scrambled then, hers and Abby's, as they both fought to get Abby’s pants and underwear off, the sudden need to see and touch, and be seen and be touched, too much for either of them to handle. Raven groaned as she slid her good leg over top of Abby’s hip again, skin bare and a little sweaty. Abby’s legs spread slightly under the weight of her thigh, and Raven felt another sudden rush. She wanted to take her time though, wanted to explore every inch of Abby in exquisite detail, but when she glanced down and saw Abby’s clit, hard and swollen and glistening at the tip, she couldn’t help but fixate on it. It was proudly standing tall, slightly larger than Raven had really been expecting, but as more wetness pearled at the tip she realized she’d never seen anything so beautiful. She eyed the drop of wetness hungrily for moment, before realizing she would have to wait to get a taste, because as much as she wanted to take Abby’s sex into her mouth, Abby’s scent gland was still pulsing. She could feel the pheromones filling the room around them, seeping out with every breath Abby took, calling to Raven in a way that she just couldn’t bring herself pull away from it yet.

Nuzzling further into Abby’s side then, Raven shifted her body closer until her chest was pressed firmly against Abby’s side. Her leg fell further down between Abby’s spreading thighs and when she felt that wetness she had been so hungry for, brush against the top of her thigh, she groaned, both in disappointment, but also in desire. She made a promise to herself, and to Abby, then, that she would have Abby in every way she could, would get her absolute fill of Abby’s slick before the night was done, but first, she needed to make Abby hers in the same way she was Abby’s. She shifted closer once again, ending up bracing herself up on one elbow to get her face close enough to Abby’s neck to kiss Abby’s throbbing gland. Abby’s reaction was immediate, going stock still, arching into the contact and Raven suddenly felt proud that she could pull such reactions from Abby, with just a kiss. Raven rocked her knee forward again, pressing the firm muscle of her thigh to Abby’s swollen sex. Abby hissed her name then, and the sound just spurred Raven on. She brought her free hand down to rest on Abby’s sternum, pressing down a little, adjusting herself one last time, so she was half laying on top of Abby. Abby moved under her too though, and when Abby’s thigh pressed against her own sex, Raven groaned against the side of Abby’s neck.

Even though that particular moment wasn’t about her, Raven couldn’t help shifting into the friction Abby’s leg was making against her. She heard Abby panting then, close to her ear, and she knew it would not take long for Abby to come just like this. She could sense it in the air, in her alpha’s scent, that Abby was close, even from so little actual touching. She wanted to draw it out though, coax Abby’s sex to life again and again. She slacked the pressure of her knee, earning a slight whimper from Abby, but the sound cut off as Raven started trailing her fingers down. She drifted them over Abby’s heaving chest and down to rest just above Abby’s sex. She toyed with the little thatch of damp curls for a moment as she thought about how to make this the best orgasm of her alpha’s life. If her senses hadn’t been so full of Abby, she would have realized that it wouldn’t matter how she brought Abby to her peak, that Abby was too far gone to care.

That _need_ to complete their connection quickly became too much though, to the point where Raven couldn’t think about anything else anymore. Her fingers slipped further down of their own accord, and only the sound of Abby crying out against the side of her head made Raven realize she was actually, finally, touching Abby. Wetness coated her fingers as she lazily explored Abby’s sex then, dipping her fingers down further to tease at Abby’s entrance, only to drag them, and the extra slick they carried, back up to Abby’s clit. Her touch was delicate at first, almost tentative but she could feel Abby’s pulse pounding against her lips, urging her to go faster. She gave in to that urge too, and it wasn’t long before Raven firmed up her actions, siding a finger in against both sides of Abby’s clit and drawing them away from Abby’s body. She pinched slightly at the tip of Abby’s clit before sliding her fingers down again for another pass. When Abby began squirming into each milking stroke, Raven sucked harder at the flesh of Abby’s neck to keep her hold. That proved to be a bit of a mistake though, because Abby bucked against her then, and Raven almost lost her grip on Abby’s neck, and her clit, as Abby jerked and convulsed. Raven adjusted quickly though, using the weight of her leg to hold one side of Abby’s hips to the bed, and using her teeth to keep ahold of Abby’s neck. The surge of pheromones that washed over Raven was nearly all-encompassing, but she persevered, sucking and biting and stroking and humping, until Abby was pliant once again under her rhythm.

The sound of Abby’s voice, harsh and breathy, reached her ears then, a rough, broken, “Pl-e-ase,” and Raven found she couldn’t resist the raw need she heard there. She re-doubled her efforts, sharply curling her fingers against the sides of Abby’s clit with each stroke and worrying her teeth deeper into Abby’s flesh. It was only a matter of moments before Abby arched up into her, hard, whole body shivering, and Raven finally bit down, piercing the skin. She drank from Abby then, taking Abby’s essence into herself, even as Abby gushed in other places as well. Raven nearly whined against Abby’s neck as Abby’s wetness pearled and overflowed under her fingers, but with a mouth full of Abby already it was easy to push down her disappointment. Abby was hers now and as her mate, Raven could have more of Abby, hopefully, anytime she wanted.

Abby’s peak seemed to last forever, to the point that Raven was shocked Abby was still conscious by the time her release finally started to taper off. Raven didn’t stop stroking and licking and sucking though, not finished feeling Abby against her. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be finished, as Abby moaned and crooned under her continued ministrations. But as always, all good things must come to an end and eventually, Raven felt Abby’s clit give one last twitch, and she knew, at least for the moment, Abby was finished.

 

~~~

 

When the haze lifted somewhat, it seemed like several hours had past, but when Abby glanced over at the bedside clock, it had actually only been about an hour since she had carried Raven up the stairs to her bedroom. The last thing she could remember truly clearly, was Raven whispering _‘A-all for you,’_ against her lips as she ran her fingers though Raven’s slick for the first time. After that, it was as if a cloud had dampened the light of her mind. She had all sorts of thoughts, like how many pounds of pressure it takes for teeth to pierce skin, and vague memories of Jake, but she hadn’t been able to concentrate on any of those thoughts long enough for them to matter. The only things that had mattered were having Raven and pleasing Raven and _claiming_ Raven; and letting Raven have her too, being _claimed_ by Raven in return.

It had felt so undeniable, the urge to mate and bond, to have and hold Raven forever, as if there were something already tying them together, well before their lips had ever met. All they had done was to satisfy the inevitable, and Abby couldn’t deny that it felt so good to finally feel again. After Jake had died, she thought she was done feeling; she had certainly done a good job of cutting herself off from Clarke, but with Raven still attached to her scent, lips still working over her achy muscles, Abby finally _felt_ again. The safe sense of home and the swelling affection, the hope and the contentment, all rolling together to make Abby’s own heart swoon. She didn’t protest when Raven’s lips and teeth started to work their way up towards her ear, too relaxed to do more than just lie there, but then Raven’s tongue traced the rim of her ear and she heard Raven whispering, “Mine, all mine…”

Something about hearing her earlier words mirrored back to her snapped something inside Abby though, and she shot out from under Raven’s body, scrambling off the bed, only to stumble on severally shaky legs. She gripped the edge of the nightstand with one hand as her other one flew to her neck, but she knew before she felt it, that Raven’s bite would scar, just as hers would mark Raven. She ran her fingertips over the broken skin nonetheless, suddenly worrying. About what, she couldn’t be sure, there were too many worries to count anyway. She traced fingers over her throat, trying to find some sense in the world, but then she felt the way Raven’s teeth marks fit neatly inside the nearly faded scar from Jake’s claim. It was as comforting as it was surprising, but her moment of alarm was quickly interrupted by a desperate whine coming from the bed.

Her eyes snapped back to Raven then, only to find her mate naked and sobbing, curled in on herself in the middle of the bed. The sound was like a shot in dark, instantly drawing Abby’s gaze, but the sight in front of her was more like watching an emergency distress beacon activate right in front of her eyes. Abby nearly fell in her rush to get back to her mate’s side. She pulled Raven into her chest, even as Raven thrashed shakily against her hold. “Raven, please, honey, please stop,” she choked out, holding her omega to her, despite Raven’s weak protests. After only a moment of struggle, Raven seemed to settle a little and Abby relaxed her grip ever so slightly. She realized what a mistake that was a moment later when Raven pushed hard against her side and she went sprawling, nearly falling right off the bed. Raven didn’t move to get up though, and when Abby found her equilibrium again, she scooted back over towards Raven once more, sliding in behind Raven’s shaking frame, cradling Raven’s trembling body with her own. She was thankful when Raven didn’t flinch away from her embrace and she instinctively wrapped her arms around her omega. Emotions already running high, Abby wasn’t sure she could’ve handled Raven rejecting her touch in that moment. She was sure, though, that she had upset Raven with her abrupt reaction, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t believe she had let her alpha have such an influence over her decisions. When she truly though about what they had just done, she felt like she’d been slapped in the face. She was overwhelmed by the idea that her instincts had so totally overridden her reason. She had claimed Raven without a single thought to the consequences facing them. Abby immediately thought of what Clarke would think of this, of Abby mating her best friend, and on their first pseudo-date no less. Abby’s agita started to rise again, only tamping down when she felt Raven whimper against her.

Feeling like she needed to comfort Raven more than anything else though, she nuzzled in against the back of Raven’s neck and said the first thing that came to her mind, “Raven, listen to me… I don’t regret this.” Raven shuddered against her but didn’t say anything, so Abby just let herself ramble on, whispering, “Please, honey, don’t cry. I’m here... I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Raven huffed and sniffled, but still didn’t respond, and Abby began to wonder if there was anything she could say that would make things right. Alongside that wondering though, came the darker thoughts that Abby had been trying to push down, like what if Raven regretted bonding with her. Abby quickly tried to shove that worry back down, pushing it away into the far reaches of her mind. She hadn’t forced herself on Raven at least. It was hazy, but she could remember asking Raven’s permission nearly every step of the way. She felt like she had sought permission so much that at one point it had seemed to actually irritate Raven, and by the time Abby had actually laid her claim, it had mostly been because of how prettily Raven had asked for it.

It had been that moment her alpha instincts had completely overcome her logic; it was simply too much hearing the sound of her own name, spoken in that broken pleading tone, begging for her bite, her mark. All other thoughts had left her mind, and she’d bitten down because ultimately, it was what she had wanted; what she still wanted, if she was been honest with herself. She still had her worries about Clarke, but she knew that eventually they would be able to make Clarke see reason. One thing Abby had surely passed down to her daughter was a stubbornness unlike anything else in this world, but Abby could wait her out. She’d already done it once, and sure it would hurt being cut out of Clarke’s life again, but Clarke would come around. She just needed to show Clarke how happy she could be with Raven, and how happy she could make Raven, if Raven even wanted to happy with her, that is. And that, that was the crux of the matter right there. ‘What if she doesn’t actually want to be _with_ me? What if it was just hormones and now that those hormones are gone Raven doesn’t want me anymore?’ Abby thought, agonizing at the idea of being mated to someone who didn’t really want to be her mate. It would be the ultimate torture to know that their natures had simply gotten the better of them and that they were stuck together because of it.

Something told Abby that didn’t feel quite right, but she couldn’t stop herself from pleading with Raven anyway, saying, “Raven, please, this isn’t a ‘but.’ I wanted this, wanted, still want, you. Not just my alpha, but me, Abigail Elizabeth Marshall Griffin… I want you, Raven Reyes, but if you… I don’t want… I— I’ve just… I’ve been dreaming about meeting someone like you my whole life, someone that my alpha wouldn’t let me turn away from. I had mostly given up on finding you, to be honest, especially after…” She was quiet for a long moment, realizing she was getting off track, but as she tried harder to focus she was struck with a sudden thought. A thought that forced its way out a moment later, as she bluntly admitted, “I don’t think we had control over this, Raven. I think— think we’re phased. It’s, uh, a very, very rare thing to happen outside of your heat, but I… I don’t truly think I could have stopped myself from bonding with you tonight, even if I had wanted to… My alpha knew from the moment we met, and I guess I just didn’t want to accept it at first, but now that I have you I don’t ever wanna let go, ok? I want to hold you and care for you and… and lo-love you, a-and have you do the same for me.” Abby paused again, partly to gather herself to continue, partly to decide what else she could say, but as she listened to Raven’s breathing, she noted it had calmed considerably. She hesitated to say anything else at all then, but she could really only think of one more thing to say anyway. She needed to ask what she needed to ask, for permission to do just that, for permission to love Raven someday, and so she just blurted it out, “But, uh, only i-if that’s what you want, that is?”

When Raven shifted in her arms, rolling towards her, Abby was sure she was imagining things at first, but then Raven kissed her with a fierceness Abby would’ve never expected. Suddenly, there was no way Raven could want and need her as much as she wanted and needed Raven, because Abby needed Raven like she needed air and light and sleep all rolled into one. Whether they were actually phased or not, it didn’t seem to matter anymore; all that mattered was the way Raven smiled into their kiss. It didn’t matter that they seemed to be destined for this moment, that their whole lives had led them both to this point. It didn’t matter that there was nothing either one of them could have done to stop this, at least not once things had been set into motion. Abby felt Raven press in against her then, finally choking back the last of her sobs, Raven’s voice coming out rough and raspy, as she said, “Abby, I… I’m sorry. I—” Raven didn’t get to finish her apology though, because Abby wasn’t going to let Raven apologize for anything, but especially not for feeling scared and anxious about what they had just done. Abby simply swallowed Raven’s next words with her lips.

It was one of those kisses that spoke volumes without saying a word, but when it finally broke, several seconds later, Abby sighed as Raven tried to continue, “I-I know you’re worr-” another kiss, and then, “about Clar-” and another, and then, “But, I-I want it all...” The next kiss sank deeper than any other kiss they had shared, as Abby took in Raven’s words, because that’s what she wanted too; she wanted all of Raven.

They kissed and kissed, sweetly and innocently, and then passionately and eagerly, almost lovingly, until they were both out of breath again. Eventually, Abby recovered her voice though, and whispered against Raven’s lips, “Raven, I-I’ll promise you this… Nothing will tear me away from you, from us, not even my daughter. Clarke will understand, we’ll make her if we have to, because I… I want it all, too.”

Raven, looking so utterly relieved, collapsed against her, and Abby could tell that all the tension and release, all the up and down, all the sobbing and grieving, had worn Raven out completely. She watched as Raven’s eyelids drooped, and Abby couldn’t help giggling at the sight, scooping her omega up in her arms. She was more than willing to rest now that she knew Raven wanted to be with her, so she shifted Raven’s weight slightly, rolling Raven on top of her own body a little. She reached out with one hand and fumbled as she tried to pull the dampened duvet up, tucking it in under her side. With a large section of the sheets now revealed from underneath, she rolled them over into it, kicking the damp duvet away with her foot as she went. She heard the blanket slide off the bed. Normally, she would worry about getting tangled in it in the night or worry about leaving a mess to clean up when she awoke, Abby couldn’t think about anything except the feeling of Raven’s warm skin pressed against her own, Raven’s warm breath sighing against her neck, Raven’s arms wrapping themselves around her body. She sighed too, as Raven pulled herself in tight against her.

It started as a niggling little feeling in the back of her head then, but before long Abby could feel some of Raven’s desperation rising in her head again, and instead of letting it worry at her, Abby simply began pumping out soothing pheromones, rubbing her hands over Raven’s back, and whispering, “Mine, all mine,” over and over until Raven finally relaxed against her once again. Abby cradled her in her arms then, smiling as Raven eventually drifted off to sleep. She figured that even if their relationship was never going to be perfectly perfect; even if it was hard and complicated, would real love truly be worth-while if it weren’t?

It was as if Raven’s unconscious mind heard her thoughts though, because Raven shuffled even closer to her then, pressing her face in against Abby’s neck once again. As Abby felt Raven’s breath wash over her skin, she realized immediately she already knew the answer to that question, that it didn’t matter how difficult and uncomfortable things may get with Clarke, or anyone else for that matter. Their opinions weren’t as important as this, as her happiness. Every moment with Raven was worth whatever came their way; Raven was worth all of it and more.


	22. The Morning After

Anya’s internal alarm went off around five-thirty, like always, but today she definitely wanted to hit the snooze button. Her shift at the hospital was starting at seven, so she knew she needed to get a move on, but she found she couldn’t not watch the gorgeous little omega in her arms, at least for just a few minutes, anyway. She didn’t want to disturb Octavia sleeping so peacefully in her arms, but she really didn’t want to slip out unnoticed either, thinking that Octavia probably wouldn’t take it well if Anya just disappeared before she woke up. So, trying to wake Octavia as gently as possible, she nuzzled into the narrow space between Octavia’s shoulder and the base of her neck, and began brushing light little kisses over the skin there.

Feeling Octavia stir slightly, groaning at the intrusion into her sleep, Anya felt bad for having to wake her at all, and immediately began whispering, “Sorry, but I gotta get up if I’m gonna make it to work on time.” Octavia shifted a little more, scooching herself back and Anya nearly groaned at the way Octavia’s rump rubbed against her. She knew they didn’t have time for that though and tried to tamp down her rising arousal. She placed a few more, sweet kisses before she trying to rouse Octavia again, “O, I have to get up, but you don’t… You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want, sleep, shower, whatever, ok?” When Octavia didn’t respond, she quietly added, “I’ll even leave you the spare key by the door, that way you can lock up when you’re ready.” She started to try to extract herself from Octavia’s embrace then, but Octavia clung to her almost desperately, grabbing her wrists and keeping Anya’s arms wrapped around her body. She knew if she didn’t get out of that bed soon, she might not have the willpower to get up, so she whispered, “Octavia, I have to be at work at seven, and I need to shower, and get dressed, and find something for breakfast. As much as I would really love to stay in this bed with you… I can’t.”

Eventually, she heard Octavia huff defeatedly, and whine, “Fiiine, but you will come back and kiss me goodbye before you leave.”

Chuckling at Octavia’s demanding tone, Anya shifted up, kissing all along the way to Octavia’s ear, whispering once again when she reached the shell, “I’ll give you two, one for now and one for later. How’s that sound?” Octavia turned in her arms then, and Anya kissed her way across to Octavia’s lips. The way Octavia cooed into the attention however, had Anya pressing herself further into Octavia’s body again. She groaned, because despite her general distaste for morning breath, when she got close enough to smell Octavia’s breath there was nothing but the sweet, salty smell of wind over the ocean, the all-Octavia smell. Anya quickly became heady with the scent and slumped forward a little too quickly.

Their noses bumped harshly before their lips banged together, teeth clacking a little in the collision. It didn’t really hurt but Anya felt Octavia wince against her lips before she mumbled, “Ow! Wha-?”

Feeling chagrinned, Anya immediately began kissing Octavia’s lips and nose and chin, muttering “Sorry, sorry, sorry.” She paused for a second to consider whether she should tell Octavia what had caused her usual grace and general smoothness to falter, only to quickly blurt out, “I, uh, I guess you’re not the only one effected by this… You-your morning breath just smells really good and… and I, uh, don’t usually— I mean, I wasn’t expecting that…” She left her voice trail off there, thoroughly embarrassed, kicking herself for making things awkward.

Octavia quickly reached up and cupped Anya’s cheeks though, and she felt Octavia turning her face back up even before she really even managed to tip it down. Anya went willingly then, until Octavia pulled their lips together again. It was a sweet little kiss, reassuring and comfortable, and Anya’s heart fluttered when Octavia dipped away to whisper, “You smell good, too. Now, kiss me like I know you mean it.”

Anya didn’t waste another moment on her shyness, and pressed herself into Octavia, licking her way across Octavia’s bottom lip before slipping the muscle inside. She almost grinned as Octavia’s mouth gaped open in a gasp. She tangled and stroked and teased with her tongue, drawing more gasping moans from Octavia, and before long, hands and legs and chests and thighs started to move together, too. Before Anya really realized it was happening, Octavia was panting and squirming, grinding against her thigh. It was a beautiful sight. So beautiful in fact, that Anya knew there was no way she was leaving that bed until Octavia was thoroughly aware of how much she _meant_ it.

One hand moved to Octavia’s hip, the other to her neck, and Anya pulled her closer. She shifted slightly, supporting her upper body weight on one elbow and once she was settled, she guided Octavia’s hip to grind down harder against her tensed thigh muscle. She reluctantly pulled her lips away from Octavia’s, only to pepper kisses up to her ear again, asking in a husked whisper, “You ready to see just how much I mean it, little O?” She felt Octavia nod furiously against the side of her head and Anya did grin then as she hunched down a bit, creating a little arc between them. She slid her hand, the one that had been gripping firmly onto Octavia’s rocking hip, down into the space she had created, passing over Octavia’s swollen, hard clit to cup her sex. She pushed her thigh back up against the back of her hand, and curled her middle finger up slightly, allowing the two fingers surrounding it to sink underneath it, supporting it, forming a little ridge for Octavia to ride.

Anya only had to rock her hips forward once for Octavia’s eyes to roll back in her head, but then Octavia’s hips jerked forward into her hand, setting an intense rhythm right out of the gate. She relished in Octavia taking her pleasure, thrilled as Octavia began to lose herself to the rhythm. Octavia humped her hand like she would never get enough. Honestly, to Anya, that’s what this felt like, like even if they did this every morning for the rest of their lives, she would never get enough of Octavia’s breathy moans and driving rhythm. She could feel herself ramping up right along with Octavia, even without any direct contact herself, creeping ever closer to the inevitable. “Keep going, O. I… I need you to feel how much I mean it,” she husked, shivering as Octavia’s hips faltered slightly.

The new rhythm that Octavia formed after that was wild and unhinged, and Anya allowed herself to rock along with it, allowed the movement to take her over. When Octavia’s clit caught on the tip of her finger, Octavia stiffened into the harsh pressure, and as Octavia fell over the edge, Anya went with her, the feeling of Octavia’s fluttering, pulsing sex against her hand too much for her to ignore. She moaned as her own sex pulsed in time with Octavia’s shivering frame, as they rode out their orgasms together.

Several moments ticked by, each passing into the next, as Anya huffed against the side of Octavia’s neck. It was a lot to take in, coming because Octavia did, but she wasn’t too proud to admit, at least to herself, that she came simply from enjoying making Octavia come so much. That was an almost overwhelming feeling, being so caught up in someone else that she had literally shared their orgasm, but it felt good too. Her head was spinning as she continued to try to catch her breath, but when Octavia hands started tracing over her back and sides, she grunted and mumbled, “If you don’t stop, we’re not leaving this bed until the cops come to evict me for not paying the rent.”

Anya felt it more than heard it, as Octavia chuckled a little and whispered a cheeky, “And that’s bad plan why?”

An almost sour look took over Anya’s face then, as she pulled back from Octavia’s neck and grumbled, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I like not being homeless, which means I’ve got to go to work. But… my promise from earlier still stands, you get one kiss now and another before I leave.”

However reluctantly, Anya managed to extracte herself from Octavia then, and got up to Octavia grumbling behind her about ‘being cold now.’ Anya smirked as she padded her way across the room, only to turn back when she reached the doorway to the bathroom. She turned on her most charming smile and said, “Well, showers always tend to warm me up. Wanna join me?” She chuckled as Octavia scrambled out of the bed, chasing after her as she turned towards the bathroom again.

Octavia was insatiable, driving them both into a frenzy before the water had even gotten warm, but that didn’t bother Anya in the slightest. In fact, later on, when she was panting as she clocked in at work, with only 12 seconds to spare, she couldn’t bring herself to be concerned at all. Every anxious moment she had spent tapping her toes at a red light; every excruciating second that she had wasted searching the parking deck for an open spot, made every minute of showering with Octavia even more worth it.

 

~~~

 

Feeling fingers tracing over her chest, Abby woke with a purr, whispering huskily, “How long have you been awake?” She felt Raven sigh against her, skin dragging against skin, and Abby tried not to shiver as Raven’s chest pressed into her side.

“Only a couple minutes. I, uh, I haven’t managed to muster the courage to attempt to hobble to the bathroom without my brace, yet,” she heard Raven whisper then, and the slight distress she could hear in Raven’s voice made her squirm a little.

Pushing past it though, Abby stretched slightly and propped herself up on her elbows to ask, “Why would you have to do it without your brace?” She peeked around, but she quickly realized Raven’s brace was no longer in the bed with them. She had tired to be very careful with it when she had taken it off Raven the night before, laying it aside on the duvet, up against the foot board so it wouldn’t roll. She thought it would have been safe there, but then she remembered kicking aside the soiled duvet as they had curled up together to sleep. ‘It must have gotten wrapped up in the blanket and slid off the bed,’ she thought as she shifted, leaning over her side of the bed. Sure enough, there was Raven’s brace sticking out from underneath the heavy down-filled duvet. She shifted again, despite Raven’s grumbled protest, and leaned out further to snatch the brace up off the floor. She quickly handed it to Raven with a sheepish smile, apologizing, “I, uh, I didn’t mean for it to end up the floor… Sorry.”

Raven simply took the brace with a chuckle and when Abby looked up to find Raven’s easy smile, some of her anxiety subsided. Abby’s eyes fell on the brace as Raven knocked her fingers against the side of it, like she was performing an impromptu strength test, saying, “Abby, it’s fine. It’s made of titanium, the same stuff they use to make satellites. It’s built to last.” Abby couldn’t help the way her eyes followed the movement of Raven’s muscles, as Raven slipped her brace around her knee and ankle, buckling the straps that held in all together with cool efficacy. It was all practiced movements, but that didn’t stop Abby from thinking about Raven’s nimble fingers and powerful thighs. She didn’t get to admire Raven’s retreating body for long though, Raven making a beeline for the adjoining master bathroom the second the brace was finally in place.

Slumping back against the bed, Abby chuckled a little at Raven’s sudden urgency, laughing to herself as she waited for Raven to return. She glanced at the clock, and winced, knowing she wouldn’t have long to lie in bed with Raven before having to get up for work, but she decided she would take every second she could get. ‘Raven will probably need to go into the shop, too,’ Abby reasoned as she squirmed in the bed, her body instinctively chasing the fading of Raven’s warmth beside her.

A pained whine broke her out of her thoughts though, and she sprang out of the bed, immediately feeling Raven’s sadness and pain settle into her chest like it was her own. It was a little disorienting, feeling Raven’s feelings so intensely, but Abby didn’t let it get the better of her, calling out, “Raven, Raven, what’s wrong?” When she didn’t receive an instant response, her hand easily found the door knob. It wasn’t locked, and she quickly pushed her way into the bathroom. The vision in front of her was not quite what she had expected, Raven bent over the sink, fingers digging furiously into the flesh of her own butt, trying and failing to release the knot of bunched muscles Abby could see, even from several feet away.

Without a second thought, she rushed in, folding Raven into her arms at the knees, one arm coming underneath to support Raven’s weight at her back as well. Raven’s pained whine sounded out again, and Abby quickly turned back towards the bedroom, hustling Raven back to the bed to lay her out face down. She quickly settled in, straddling Raven’s good leg. Raven shook and whimpered beneath her, obviously in pain, and Abby didn’t hesitate, immediately digging her thumbs into the trigger point above Raven’s hip and beginning to work her way down. Raven jerked under the sudden pressure, but Abby kept going, whispering reassuringly, “Relax. I know this will hurt, but I promise it’ll feel better in a minute.” Abby sighed in relief when Raven stopped squirming and began to relax. It was little by little at first, but as she rubbed and stretched and manipulated Raven’s angry muscles, Abby felt Raven go more and more loose under her firm hands, until Raven wasn’t much more than a starfish, sprawled out limply underneath her. When Raven’s muscles finally went totally lax, Abby leaned in to nuzzle in against the back of Raven’s neck, whispering, “Better?” against her skin, before pulling away again and continuing with her hands.

It was a long quiet moment before Raven turned towards her, eyes brimming with tears and voice husky as she said, “A-Abby, Where… where did you learn how to do that?”

The tears had Abby on high alert, fearing she had been too rough, too firm, but Raven’s raspy voice belied emotion, not pain, so she simply sank down onto the bed next to Raven and held her as she explained, “Well, yesterday, I may have done some research into physical therapy massages and treatments, you know, in between surgeries, I mean, when I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” She tried to keep her voice soft and supportive as she spoke, not wanting Raven to think that she was trying to fix her or anything. Mostly, she had been trying to keep herself busy by expanding her knowledge base, because she believed that working in medicine, she could never know too much, but her interactions with Raven had definitely inspired her. Imagining helping Raven through a moment just like this one had motivated her, but as Raven stared at her, tears now overflowing, she wasn’t sure what else to say.

After a moment, it seemed like Raven was just weighing her words, so Abby struggled to keep calm as she waited for her to respond. She wasn’t sure if Raven was just overcome by her emotions or if there was something else at play, but when Raven finally sighed and said, “Abby, that is the absolute sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Th-Thank you,” Abby understood. Raven was grateful but hadn’t really known how to express it. She guessed no one had ever treated Raven with such care, or if they had, whatever else Raven had had with that person hadn’t worked out. Seeing the gratitude, and realizing how happy she had made Raven, Abby resolved to make Raven feel that way every day they got together.

Moving her hands down, Abby continued her massage onto Raven’s hamstring and quads, rubbing at the muscles in an absentminded sort of way as she thought, merely needing to continue soothing Raven, even if it wasn’t really doing much for her omega’s pain. She purred in contentment as she felt Raven relax back into the bed though, sighing as she softened her touch, ultimately just sweeping her hand over Raven’s skin. Raven wiggled against her, obviously wanting more of her touch, but she kept her touch light as she whispered, “I obviously don’t have much experience, but I, uh, I wanted to know, you know, just in case.”

Raven blushed at her words, and Abby suspected Raven was probably thinking about her perceived inexperience in other areas, but she still wasn’t expecting it when Raven said, “Abby, from that massage you just gave me, I would have thought you’d been doing this for years. I have a hard time believing that was your first time.”

“Raven, I— I wouldn’t lie to you just to win bonus points or something. I’m not just some alpha trying to get into your pants,” Abby explained quickly, feeling a bit mollified by Raven’s mildly accusatory tone.

Raven simply chuckled though, and Abby smiled, realizing she had played right into Raven’s joke, but that didn’t stop her from feeling flustered when Raven said, “Abby, god, you have to lighten up a little, ok? I was just teasing you. I mean, clearly, you’ve already gotten into my pants, and a bit more too, so I don’t think you have to worry about that anymore…”

As she spoke, Abby watched, mortified, as Raven craned her head to the side a little. When her mark came into view, Abby pressed into it, half-trying to hide her sudden blush against Raven’s skin. ‘The things she says,’ Abby thought as she tried to calm her nerves. If Raven could rattle her with just a few words, Abby wondered what it would be like once they actually got comfortable together. Raven’s scent was just as enticing as always though, and soon, all Abby’s focus was drawn into it. It was different, cleaner and clearer than it had been the night before and Abby sighed when she understood what that meant. Raven was undeniably hers, their bonding had taken, but instead of making her feel nervous for the future, Abby felt hopeful. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to be teased by Raven every day for the rest of her life. Suddenly, she couldn’t even think of being separated from Raven, and immediately scooted up the bed, trying to get a better angle, nuzzling into the crook of Raven’s neck, inhaling deeply, pulling Raven into the crook of her body and holding her tight.

Raven grunted though, and Abby immediately shifted back down, taking her weight off Raven as best she could, while still keeping some sort of contact. She glanced at Raven’s face then, and when she saw Raven’s furrowed brow, she instantly thought the worst, choking out, “I’m s-”

She only got half-way through her apology though, before Raven interrupted her, cupping her cheek as she said, “Abby… you don’t have to apologize. Just relax… Listen, what time do you have to be in to work?”

The soft brush of Raven’s palm against her skin was entrancing, soothing, and Abby answered easily, “My first surgery is scheduled for eleven, but I have to be at the hospital by ten-thirty or so, if the surgery is gonna start on time.”

She felt Raven’s palm press more firmly to her cheek then and Abby moved with the pressure, turning her head towards the clock on the nightstand, just as Raven asked, “And what time is it now?”

Abby smirked against the edge of Raven’s hand, nipping at the heel before she said, “Seven-fifteen.” Raven pulled her face back down into the crook of her neck again, and Abby wasn’t about to object, moving willingly with Raven’s gentle direction. She laid there for a few moments, contented by how well their scents seemed to mix together; that is, until she felt her stomach growl. She hoped Raven hadn’t noticed, because despite the growing twisting feeling in her stomach, Abby didn’t want to get up yet.

Her hopes were dashed though when Raven squirmed a little, chuckling as she said, “Ok, come on, let’s get up, and go downstairs and have breakfast, and then we can shower and get ready… Then, maybe you can drop me off at the shop on your way into work…”

Abby groaned when Raven paused, appreciating the image of showering together, but it transformed, coming out more like a growl, at the idea of having to leave Raven behind to go about her day. Raven whimpered too, and Abby instinctually burrowed back into the crook of Raven’s neck, right over her mark to whisper, “Today is gonna be so hard, being away from you. I— I don’t want to be away from you, but we both have obligations to take care of today. Tonight, though, tonight I’ll be right back here with you. Every night, if that’s what you want.”

A moment later, Raven’s snickering voice reached her ears and Abby couldn’t help but smile, as Raven replied, “Abby Griffin, are you asking me to move in with you after just one date?”

Abby wasn’t going to let Raven fluster her this time though, and was anything if not quick as she said, “Oh honey, I’m not just asking, I’m begging. Please, please, move in with me!” She was delighted when Raven’s snicker was replaced by a full belly laugh. Abby took it one step further too, scooting down and off the bed, kneeling beside it, and clasping her hands together, begging quietly, “Please, Please,” over and over. She was sure she sounded like she was a teenage girl begging her mom to let her have the car for the night, but she didn’t care how silly it was; she wanted Raven to laugh.

After a few moments of simply reveling in the sound of Raven’s laughter, Abby let her chanting die down and climbed back up into the bed, shuffling in next her omega. Raven, still giggling, accepted her with open arms and Abby nuzzled back in underneath Raven’s ear, breathing in against her mark before she whispered seriously, “Raven, please, will you move in with me?”

Raven was quiet for a moment, but Abby wasn’t worried; she knew Raven was going to say yes. She figured Raven was just trying to think a snarky way to say it, so it took Abby completely off-guard when Raven said, “I will, but we’re gonna need to talk to Clarke before that happens.” Abby whimpered a little at the thought, but tried to focus as Raven pressed on, whispering soothingly, “I know you’re worried about what she’ll say, but there’ll be no hiding this from her. I mean, she won’t even have to get close, she’s gonna smell you all over me. We’ve got a couple days to just be us, but when her heat is over, we have to sit Clarke down and tell her _everything_ … It’s the only way to do it.”

Feeling suddenly giddy, maybe it was the mental strain or the pressure, Abby wasn’t sure, but before she could stop herself, she snickered a little and blurted out, “Well, I hope we don’t have to tell her _everything_ … because no matter how open I am with Clarke about her sex life, I’m sure there are some things that are best left up to her imagination.”

Abby’s own imagination kicked in then. It was exhilarating, thinking about Raven keening underneath her; thinking about Raven’s fingers finding that spot that no one else had touched in a very long time. Her pulse was throbbing in her ears just from thinking about it, so loudly that she almost missed Raven’s chuckled reply, “I couldn’t agree more.” Raven’s head slumped against her own then, and Abby relaxed into the closeness, bringing her lips to rest peacefully against her mark at Raven’s throat. It was a short-lived peace though, when she heard Raven mockingly whisper, “Ok… now that that’s settled, what are yo-ou making me for breakfast?”

Scoffing a little bit, Abby mocked Raven’s blatantly insinuating tone, like it was Abby’s job as alpha to provide for her omega. She knew Raven didn’t really feel that way, that she didn’t expect Abby to ‘provide’ for her, but it seemed rational that Abby should at least play hostess until Raven could get settled in. She couldn’t not mess with Raven about it though, finding she very much enjoyed their playful back and forth, so she shuffled back enough to look Raven in the eyes as she said, “Well, if you had asked nicely I would have said waffles, or maybe, cheesy eggs and toast, probably some coffee too, but I think I’m more in the mood for oatmeal and water.”

 She suppressed a smile as Raven wiggled playfully, obviously backtracking as she whined, “Oh beautiful, gracious alpha, will you please make me cheesy eggs and toast for breakfast? Oh, Please?”

Abby tried to keep her haughty façade up, but Raven’s silliness quickly broke through her resolve and she crumbled, crying out, “Oh Raven, of course I’m making eggs and toast. If it’s nice out, we can even eat on the patio if you want.” Raven pressed up into her then, and Abby sighed as smiling lips meeting her own. She guessed that meant Raven very much liked that idea.

 

~~~

 

Cuddled up in the middle of the bed, Clarke groaned as her aching muscles twitched and flexed. She squirmed around, hissing at the painful stretch, urgently seeking Lexa’s warmth to ease her sore body. She reached out on either side of the bed, searching for it, but only found a fading warm spot on her left. Her eyes squinted open, and she blinked the blurriness out of her vision before continuing her search for Lexa with her eyes. A quick glance around the room confirmed it; Lexa wasn’t in the bedroom at all. The door to the bathroom was open too, so Clarke knew she wasn’t in there either. She shifted in the bed, trying to get a better look through the bedroom door, but she groaned again, louder this time, when she willfully tried to move her hips for the first time since waking. The soreness there was an oh-so-welcome reminder of her recent activities, but she tried not to dwell on those thoughts, hoping for a few minutes of lucid thought before her heat took her over once again. She could feel it, still sliding around under her skin, but she figured it would be a while before her skin started to burn and itch from the sensation. She ran a hand through her hair, or at least she tried to, but her fingers end up getting caught almost immediately in the tangled, sweat-stuck mess.

Feeling a more than little gross, she quickly decided to struggle her way out of the bed, so she could clean up a little bit before looking for Lexa elsewhere in the apartment. She shimmed and squirmed to the edge of the bed. Sitting up, she spotted her overnight bag, sitting up on top of one of Lexa’s dressers, and she figured Lexa must have brought into the room at some point. The last time she could remember even thinking about that bag was probably two days ago, when she had dropped it by the front door, rather thoughtlessly, in her haste to get to Lexa. She stood then, wobbling only slightly, as she made her way over to her bag, her legs still feeling shaky and sore. She leaned her hip against the dresser as she rummaged inside, quickly pulling out a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top. She slid those on, deciding, without even really thinking about it, to forego underwear, figuring they’d just end up ruined soon anyway. She licked her lips at the idea of why her underwear would end up that way, but pushed through again, quickly digging back through her bag, sighing in relief when her fingers met the hard plastic of her small toiletries bag. She unzipped the small case and extracted her toothbrush and her travel hairbrush, and then made her way into the bathroom.

Taking one look in the mirror, Clarke muttered, “Well done, past me… I’m so glad you thought to pack a hair brush.” Going to bed with wet hair had never been a good idea for her and combined that with the way Lexa had used it to push and pull her around after their shower together, Clarke wasn’t sure anything short of a relaxer treatment would tame her wild mane. While she hadn’t been complaining before and didn’t really regret succumbing to Lexa’s rough treatment, she couldn’t help but groan. The tangles and snags looked like they would take forever to pick through, but she set to work anyway, managing a passably cute bed-head look with only a couple of minutes effort.

As satisfied as she was going to get with her hair, Clarke set about scrubbing her teeth too, after pilfering a bit of toothpaste from Lexa’s medicine cabinet. She sighed around the brush, relishing in the feeling of clean teeth. She took one more glance at herself in the mirror and decided she at least felt a bit more human even if she didn’t really look it. She finally made her way back into the bedroom then, and the first thing she noticed was the sound of quiet, club music drifting in through the open bedroom door. That was curious, in and of itself, but then she caught the smell of frying bacon and realized Lexa must be making her breakfast. She followed her nose through the apartment until she found Lexa, singing softly, dancing along with the beat as she tended a pan of frying bacon and a griddle laden with half done pancakes.

Pausing in the doorway to take it all in, Clarke felt suddenly overcome by emotion. The domesticity of the scene in front of her was one thing; how Lexa cared for her so casually, letting her sleep while she made them breakfast. There was something overwhelming though, about the idea of waking up to this kind of treatment on a regular basis. It was a thought that had Clarke so enraptured that she almost squealed when Lexa turned toward her, a huge grin splitting her face, as she said, “Good morning, Clarke. Pancakes and bacon sound good for breakfast?”

Sort of struck by the question, because who doesn’t love pancakes, Clarke blinked for a moment, suddenly trying to actually remember the last time she had eaten. They had ordered take out at some point yesterday, but she couldn’t remember for the life of her what time that had been. The smell of bacon really hit her then and her stomach gave a lurching roll as it grumbled loudly. Lexa didn’t wait for any more answer than that, simply laughing and turning back to the stove, as she asked, “Coffee, tea or orange juice?”

Considering Lexa as she casually flipped the pancakes, Clarke watched as she turned some of the bacon at the same time, and with the all ease of a short order cook. She sputtered in awe at how easily Lexa was managing the kitchen and barely controlled herself as she squeaked out, “Do you have half-and-half?” Lexa nodded, chuckling a little harder, and Clarke could feel herself blushing as she quickly replied, “Coffee, then… please, coffee.”

“Coming right up,” Lexa replied just as quickly, sliding down the counter, still bopping to the music. Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa’s hips as Lexa scooped a mug out of one of the cabinets and turned quickly to pour it full of steaming black liquid. There was something almost sinful about the way Lexa moved, casual and quick, efficient but flowing. She gasped as Lexa slid back over to her, cupping her forearm and leading her over to the kitchen table. Lexa paused when they got to the table, pulling out one of the chairs before nodding for Clarke to sit. Clarke blushed even harder at the gesture, feeling giddy at being so accommodated, but when she caught Lexa smirking at her, she ducked her head and quickly took the seat. She was determined to not let herself get lost in her own head, not when all she wanted to do was be there, in that moment, with Lexa. Lexa made that easy too, as she leaned over her then, placing the mug down in front of her, before drawing back up, Lexa bringing her lips right up against her ear to whisper, “Sugar?”

Lexa’s hot breath sent a shiver down her spine and she nearly had to rub her thighs together to quell the sudden throbbing in her sex, her insides starting to tingle and itch with Lexa’s proximity. Not being able to trust her voice, all Clarke could do was nod weakly against the side of Lexa’s head. She sighed a little disappointedly when Lexa pulled away, but she was then treated to the image of Lexa’s butt bopping to the beat as she made her way back to the kitchen proper. It was such a pleasing image that Clarke figured Lexa walking away from her wasn’t a total loss. She watched Lexa as she continued to dance around, grabbing the half-and-half out of the fridge, a small bowl with a lid from one of the cabinets, and some sugar from another. Clarke’s breath caught in her chest when Lexa turned back towards her, hips swaying and body moving, eyes half closed as the music seemed to pulse through her. Clarke squirmed and sighed, becoming acutely aware of just how uncomfortably wet she was getting, just from watching this beautiful creature swish and sway in front of her. She shuddered, her eyes slipping closed as Lexa’s scent flared in her nostrils and the next thing Clarke knew, Lexa was leaning over her again, setting the half-and-half and the little bowl full of sugar down on the table beside her mug. Clarke just sat there dumbfounded as Lexa pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before withdrawing again.

It took several minutes, but eventually, it became painfully obvious to Clarke that Lexa was well aware of what she was doing. She could smell it, Lexa’s pheromones clouding the whole room. The build had been incredibly subtle, but once she could smell it, she couldn’t really un-smell it. If that hadn’t been enough, each time Lexa swayed her hips or flipped a pancake, she chuckled or snorted, and even though Clarke was sure Lexa was teasing her, it didn’t stop her from ogling Lexa the whole time. She was just so entrancing, so totally enthralling that Clarke totally ignored her coffee, that is until Lexa plated up their breakfasts and brought them over to the table.

 

~~~

 

It was true; Lexa knew exactly what she was doing. From the moment Clarke had stepped into the kitchen, she had been turning up her pheromones, little by little by little, until she almost felt oppressed by the volume of her own scent. Clarke didn’t seem to mind though, if the sort of dumbfounded, awed expression on her face was any indication. It felt good to inspire such fascination, to amaze Clarke with just her scent and a little bump and wiggle. She supposed the music was helping too. It was a mix she had made for days when she needed a pick me up, needed inspiration just to get out of bed. Being in a good mood to begin with though, totally changed the way the mix made her feel. It was energizing, invigorating, so much so that she couldn’t help herself but to move with the beat. She smiled thinking, it was probably one of the best mixes she had ever made. One track slid right into the next, time after time, song after song, gradual and smooth and flowing. She realized she hadn’t felt this light in a really long time, maybe not ever before. For just a moment she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about how easy things had seemed with Costia, comfortable, constant even, but never had anything with Costia felt this deep. With Clarke, the thing drawing them together was primal, almost spiritual; an unspoken want fulfilled, an unmet need finally met. Clarke would be her mate someday, she knew that for sure, and that thought had her brimming with excitement and energy all over again.

Almost letting herself get distracted, Lexa was drawn back to the moment at hand, by the almost acrid smell of burning meat. She quickly scrambled over to the bacon, pulling it off the heat as fast as she could go. She pulled all the remaining strips of bacon out of the pan and laid them out with the others she had already finished, letting some of the grease drain off before she plated it up. She finished up the last of the pancakes too, plating those, along with the ones she had been keeping warm in the toaster oven. Two piles of pancakes and two piles of bacon later, she was grabbing silverware for them both, and making her way back to the table once again. She smiled as she placed one set in front of Clarke and the other in front of the empty seat next to her. She had to retreat to the kitchen one last time though, for the butter, maple syrup and her own coffee. She grabbed the orange juice and a couple plastic cups, too, just in case, and she barely managed to balance it all in her arms as she twisted and turned her way back to the table. She snickered when she saw Clarke was still just sitting staring at her plate. The sound seemed to draw Clarke’s attention though, and with a sharp jerk of her head, she blurted out, “N-no one has ever cooked breakfast for me before, Lexa. I— Thank you…”

Laughing a little as she settled into her seat, Lexa took up one of Clarke’s hands into her own as she easily replied, “You don’t have to thank me, Clarke, but you’re welcome, all the same. I just… I figured you’d be hungry after last night. I don’t usually make anything this grand when it’s just me here, so this is a bit of a treat for me too, actually.” She could see Clarke hesitating over her plate then and used her grip on Clarke’s hand to encourage her to take up her silverware. Lexa grinned as she watched Clarke butter up her stack of pancakes and then lightly pour the syrup over top of the pile. She would have thought Clarke would have more of a sweet tooth than that, and quickly commented to that effect, saying, “Don’t hold back on my account.” Clarke blushed and turned away slightly, and Lexa’s curiosity was peaked. She scooted a little closer, nudging Clarke with her elbow as she added a quiet, “What’s up, babe?”

Clarke shied away a little more, but the slight change in distance didn’t hinder Lexa from hearing Clarke whisper, “I— I was trying not to look like a glutton. I… I could probably use the rest of that bottle on these pancakes. I love real maple syrup.”

For a moment, Lexa couldn’t believe Clarke was being so delicate about something as simple as how she liked her pancakes, especially not after the things they had done over the last couple of days. She figured Clarke’s heat had probably blurred some of Clarke’s boundaries though, and with her heat temporarily sated, those boundaries seemed to be coming back. She really hoped that wasn’t the case however, because the last couple of days with Clarke had been so uplifting. The last thing she wanted was to go back to her melancholy life from before Clarke. She laughed a little, thinking, ‘Before Clarke… B.C.,’ but her huffed laughter seemed to break the silence that had inevitably formed between them. Clarke’s eyes shot up to meet her own and Lexa didn’t think, just said the first thing that came to her mind. “Well, how about this? You let me have a little bit, and then you take all you want. You’ll get no judgement from me.” Before Clarke could react, she simply reached over and grabbed the bottle, tipping it over her own plate, a little on the pancakes at first, and then a dash over her bacon as well. She could feel Clarke watching her the whole time, but when she went to hand the bottle back, she had to nudge Clarke with her shoulder to get her attention.

Eventually Clarke snapped to and took the bottle, but Lexa frowned as Clarke only briefly tipped the bottle over her own plate again, before placing it back down onto the table. Lexa couldn’t help but laugh as she plucked the bottle back up, pouring the viscous liquid liberally all over Clarke’s plate. She didn’t absolutely drown the pancakes in the sugary, maple goodness; but it was close. When she looked back up to Clarke’s face, the way Clarke smirked told Lexa she’d done a good job, and she sat the mostly empty bottle back down on the table.

Clarke tucked into her plate then and Lexa watched her out of the corner of her eye as she ate, enjoying the little hummed moans and slurping sounds coming from Clarke’s direction. She was so pleased with herself for choosing to make the pancakes, so pleased with herself for pleasing Clarke in general really, that she could barely concentrate on her own breakfast. As the time went on, she eventually abandoned her own plate to watch Clarke out right. Syrup dribbled here and there, and Lexa had to fight back a groan every time Clarke’s tongue peeked out of her mouth to catch a drip or a run. Then Clarke’s fingers came into play, as she wiped a particularly large drip from her chin and when Lexa saw three of Clarke’s fingers disappear inside her mouth, she couldn’t hold back her groans anymore. Watching Clarke suck and lick her fingers clean seemed like a good idea to start with, but when a muffled moan rang out around Clarke’s fingers in response, Lexa’s mind sprang back to the muted sounds Clarke had made the night before; muted because her mouth was full of Lexa’s length as Lexa drove inside her, stretching Clarke’s throat with each thrust.

The resulting hardness caused those images flashing through Lexa’s mind, had her squirming in her seat, body lurching forward slightly as her shaft twitched and heaved. Clarke’s eyes raced up to meet her own then, and Lexa thought she was going to catch fire from the heat of the desire she found residing in Clarke’s gaze. Her pupils were wide and dark, and for just a moment, Lexa allowed herself to be consumed by the flames therein. A hand landed on her thigh though, and she instinctually glanced down to see what Clarke was up to. The sight of Clarke’s hand moving up her thigh was almost as good as the sensation itself, but then when Clarke’s hand disappeared under her loose-fitting gym shorts, she groaned, suddenly thankful she’d foregone underwear in her rush to get breakfast ready. Clarke’s warm hand cupped her sex, before drifting up to lightly massage her length. She wanted to keep her eyes open, wanted to keep watching Clarke’s hand move under her shorts, but eventually, they fluttered closed on their own when she heard Clarke whisper, “If you let me finish breakfast, I’ll happily take that wherever you want to put it when I’m done.”

Lexa shuddered at the fantasies that flashed before her eyes at that statement; Clarke sinking to her knees and taking her length in her still syrupy mouth, Clarke’s sweet lips meeting her own as Clarke straddled her lap and rode her into oblivion, Clarke bent over the table, the tops of her thighs banging into edge, body sliding through the remnants of their breakfast, as Lexa drove into her from behind. Clarke’s words certainly gave her plenty of ideas, but she couldn’t help thinking that those were all things _she_ wanted. If she was being honest with herself, more than anything, she just wanted to please Clarke. Mind made up, she brought her hand down to cover Clarke’s, still under her shorts, halting Clarke’s movements for just a moment. The extra pressure of her own hand over Clarke’s however, caused her to stammer as she tried to say, “I— I’ll do you one better. You, uh, keep doing that while I feed you the rest of your breakfast… and I’ll put it wherever _you_ want when you’re done.”

Groaning as Clarke giggled and rolled her hand over her length again, Lexa tried not to buck into the contact as Clarke cooed, “A bite of bacon next then, please? The sooner I get something in my mouth the better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... was it worth the wait?


	23. The Ache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... I've got a long one for you today. There's a lot going on in this chapter too; some things get discovered, we meet a new friend, and some revelations are made. I hope you enjoy it...

The second after Abby dropped Raven off at the repair shop, her gut twisted. She remembered how hard it had been to be away from Jake right after they had bonded all those years ago, and he hadn’t even been an omega. With him, it had been more emotional turmoil, not wanting to be separated from the man she loved, but with Raven, there was a chemical link that bound them together, deeper than anything she’d ever experienced. As her stomach drew tighter and tighter, it seemed like the farther away from Raven she got, the more uncomfortable it was going to get, but like a bow string being pulled tight between them, it seemed she could only bend so far, could only stretch so far. By the time she got to the hospital, the stomach cramp knotting up inside her became almost bearable, with only enough bite that it was going to be a constant irritation throughout the rest of her day; or at least until she could get back to Raven.

Just thinking her name had Abby’s heart beating faster in her chest and the sensation dazed her so much that she found herself having trouble believing the night before had actually been real. If it weren’t for the two nurses who had noticed her new mating mark on her way in, and already commented on said mark, Abby would have almost believed it had been a dream. When she finally stumbled into her office though, she immediately checked over the mark on her neck in the mirror on the back of her door. ‘Just to be sure it’s going to heal properly,’ she told herself, but she knew that was a lie. She wanted to look at it again, to be sure, one more time, that she wasn’t delusional, wasn’t hallucinating. She brushed her fingers over the two little crescent shaped marks, feeling the way they nestled inside the similar, yet fading, scar she’d had for so long. Her doctor’s brain wondered why she had never heard of mating marks getting infected. ‘It is an open wound after all,’ she thought as she closely inspected Raven’s teeth marks. ‘Well, there’s my distraction from thinking about Raven all day… Do mating bites ever get infected, and why?’ she added with a snicker.

Of course, she had checked out Raven’s mark in the bathroom that morning, and she figured it didn’t look much different, if only, maybe a little darker around the edges. She remembered then, how Raven had followed her out of the shower and proceeded to kiss and lick and suck at her throat, for a solid ten minutes. Abby hadn’t protested a bit as Raven pressed her up against the, now ‘hers and hers’ sinks, helpless do anything but melt under the attention. ‘That explains the darker edges,’ she thought as she continued to run her fingers over her neck. Staring at it in the bathroom earlier, she had thought for a brief moment about covering it for work, not wanting to deal with the comments she had heard on the way in, ‘Oh! Who’s the lucky beta?’ and ‘Oh Abby! I didn’t know you were seeing someone!’ The former had made her a little furious, upset that her coworker automatically assumed she had chosen another beta mate, like Jake, and the later had embarrassed her to no end, because she quickly realized that this time yesterday she hadn’t been seeing anyone. Raven had simply swept into her life and Abby’s alpha had taken the wheel from there.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out quickly, silently praying it was a message from Raven, but she grimaced when she saw it was Anya instead. It read, ‘Hey Doc! How’d it go last night?’ and Abby thought for a brief second about ignoring Anya’s message until after her first surgery was over. She felt like it was a bad idea though, deciding not to put it off any longer than she had to and simply replied, ‘Come by my office and you’ll see.’

Not two minutes later, there was a soft knock at the door and Abby beckoned, “Come in,” as she settled into one of the armchairs in front of her desk. Her office wasn’t big enough to have a little living room set up, with a couch and coffee table and all, but she did have room for two comfy arm chairs, so a patient could have a loved one sit with time as they discussed whatever was ailing them. In the face of her friend, Abby tried to keep her breathing even and calm as Anya entered, turning only slightly towards the door, making sure to keep her new mark shielded from Anya’s view as she tried to explain, “Anya, before you say—"

She didn’t get her chance to explain though, as Anya quickly interrupted her, barking out, “Abby, what the hell happened?” She should have known Anya would figure it out even without seeing the mark for herself. She had hoped anyway, mostly because the tone of disbelief she had been dreading to hear in Anya’s voice, was acutely more painful than she thought it would be. She turned fully to Anya then, and she nearly released a nervous laugh at the way Anya was frozen in place, still facing the door, her hand still clenching the handle even.

The little, mischievous part of Abby wanted to say, ‘Well, Anya, when two people love each other…’ but she couldn’t quite tell if Anya was just shocked, or if her friend was actually upset in some way, so she held her tongue. ‘Anya doesn’t really have any right to be upset though, she doesn’t have any stake in what happened between Raven and I,’ Abby reasoned and tried to adopt a joking tone as she finally replied, “Yeah, so, last night went great. Wanna see the evidence? It’s right here.”

Keeping her eyes on Anya, she turned her head to the side a little and gestured toward her neck. Anya whirled on her at the movement, a fierce grimace thinning her lips, and for a moment Anya just stared at her. Abby thought she had never seen Anya so… disappointed, and she grimaced herself when she heard Anya say, “Abby, I— I can’t believe this. How did this happen?”

Partly miffed, and partly curious as to what Anya’s reaction would be, Abby couldn’t stop herself that time, smirking as she coyly replied, “Well, Anya, when two people love ea—”

Anya jumped in quickly though, not allowing her to finish yet again, blurting out, “You. Know. What. I. Mean… I-I thought you guys were just going to talk.”

Anya’s tone started out rough, and Abby felt herself growing more indignant as she spoke, but as Anya continued her tone softened and Abby softened with it. She could barely organize her thoughts as doubt and confusion filled her head. “And… we were going to… and, we did, eventually, I guess… after she finished kissing the living hell out of me. Well, honestly, I think I started it. I mean, she kissed me on the cheek and then I couldn’t not kiss her, you know. She was so close, her lips were right there, and it was like all I could think about was what her lips would taste like,” Abby rambled then, and she knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t stop herself. That is, until a snort from Anya’s direction caused her to snap her wandering eyes back up to meet Anya’s again. Anya’s smirking face drew a confused, “What?” from her mouth.

“You’re rambling. You never ramble, it’s… it’s kind of adorable,” Anya said with another chuckle. Abby’s only response was a grumbling huff, but that didn’t seem to stop Anya from elaborating, “It is, and you seem happy, so don’t let me bring you down from that. This— it’s just that this isn’t what I expected when you said come and see. I thought you were gonna have a big hickey or something to show me, not a fresh, fucking bite. I mean, did you- did you mark her, too?” Abby could only nod, a little shocked by Anya’s words, but her surprise cleared quickly enough though, when Anya followed up with another question, “Who first?”

“I did,” Abby admitted quietly, not sure how much to say, but figuring if she could tell anyone about it, it was Anya. She speedily added, “She… she begged me to and I don’t know, I just— my instincts took over and it was done before I could even think about it. Anya, I wasn’t joking when I said I’ve never reacted to an omega this way before.” Anya didn’t say anything then and the silence quickly became oppressive, to the point Abby simply had to fill it, blurting out, “I think… I mean, I’m pretty sure we’re a phased pair, or at least I don’t have a better explanation for how this happened.” Abby paused for a second, a sudden thought hitting her, before she added, “You know… there’s a hormone test that we use sometimes to determine where someone is in their cycle, to help with surgery scheduling and such… And, I’m pretty sure I read an article last month that said there were a few hospitals on the west coast using the same test to isolate certain hormones and how those hormones react during phasing. Maybe I should reread it…”

Abby trailed off, getting lost in her thoughts, until her attention snapped back to Anya’s barked out, “Abby, why are you even thinking about that?”

She turned her face back up towards Anya’s once again, sure her brow was lined with worry, as she said, “Because I need some rational, scientific reason for why I would mate with my daughter’s best friend on our first freaking date, Anya. I mean, do you even realize how rare PSL is? It’s not one in a thousand, or even one in ten thousand, it’s more like one in a five hundred thousand and those are the odds for pairs when a heat is involved. It’s simply astronomical, the chances of this happening without heat pheromones driving the process; in documented cases, the odds are closer to one in a million.”

Saying it out loud made her seem crazy, Abby was sure of it, but that didn’t change the fact that she and Raven were probably, most likely, phased. Not sure where to go from there, Abby huffed as she sank down in her chair, getting more and more depressed as the seconds ticked by. Anya finally rescued her from her own head though, reaching out to her as she said, “Abby, one in a million is still one, ok? You know I’m not one to sugar-coat things, but is it so hard to believe this was all just… meant to be? Raven probably met Clarke, so that one day she would meet you? I mean, what other explanation can there be?”

Slumping forward slightly, Abby tried to take in the weight of Anya’s words, but then her phone buzzed in her pocket, again. She scrambled to pull it out, knowing for sure it was Raven this time. ‘Stop worrying so much, you’re making me nervous from halfway across town,’ popped up on her phone, but halfway through reading the message, the next came in, ‘I miss you, so much it hurts. I can’t wait to see you later.’ Just when she finished that one, yet another came though, ‘Do you want to pick me up again or should I drive over later?’

For a moment, all Abby could do was stare down at her phone and smile, thinking of Raven getting worried just because she was worrying. It was an exhilarating experience to be sure, but when Anya laughed again, and said, “See that’s what I’m talking about. Why do you need an explanation for that? Happy is just happy, no matter how it happens,” Abby couldn’t help but agree.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I— I need to relax anyway, I’m stressing Raven out,” Abby replied, pausing to type a response to Raven into her phone before she turned her attention back to Anya and said sort of nervously, “I, uh, I asked her to move in with me and… and, she said yes.”

“Seems like the natural order of things,” Anya replied with a chuckle and Abby couldn’t stop herself from swatting at her friend’s shoulder. Anya simply chuckled harder when she missed though and added, “Abby, I’m happy for you, truly. I think you’re going to make a great mate for Raven. Maybe we can, uh, double up one night for dinner or something?”

“Oh yeah? You and who?” Abby quickly asked, knowing her friend meant a double date with her and Octavia. Abby wanted to hear Anya say it though, knew her friend probably needed to say it; that she was actually dating the young omega.

Anya just looked at her for a second, smirk souring to a certain degree, before she finally said, “Octavia, Abby… I mean… we may not be as official as you and Raven, obviously, but I think last night went pretty well, especially if it was so good that she couldn’t get enough and just had to have some more this morning. I was nearly late to work today, it was so good.”

Anya’s waggling her eyebrows almost made Abby blush, that tight smirk returning to Anya’s lips. Abby simply held her hand up in front of her, stiffly halting her friend. Anya looked like she still ready to continue though, so Abby countered Anya’s teasing, saying, “No! That’s enough of that. I don’t need to live vicariously through you anymore, I’ve got my own hot omega now.”

Feeling the tension break, Abby laughed as Anya rose to leave, saying, “That you do, Abby, that you do. I should get back to it, you know, but I’ll see you later?” Abby just nodded, realizing she’d probably already taken up enough of Anya’s time. Anya made her way towards the door then, and Abby watched her go, only a little surprised when Anya turned back at the door and said, “We really should double, you know… Think about it?” Abby nodded again, and before she knew it, Abby was alone with her thoughts once again.

 

~~~

 

‘Well, I did not see that coming,’ Anya thought, leaning against Abby’s closed office door for a second. She didn’t linger long though, pressing off the door to join in behind a group of interns heading towards the elevators. She had rounds to do, and she’d already put them off too long. If she was lucky, she wouldn’t hear anything about it from Byrne, but she felt like Abby’s surprising revelation had warranted her slight dereliction of duty. She figured she had a radio, if something had gone wrong while she had been in Abby’s office, it wasn’t like she wouldn’t have responded. She just wouldn’t be where she was supposed to be when the call came in. If a situation developed in the, ER she’d have been hard pressed to make it there before things had a chance to escalate.

Cramming herself into the already mostly full elevator didn’t really sound like a good time. She really didn’t want to wait on the next one either, figuring it would probably be just as full. Instead, she ducked off down the corridor next to the elevator and hit the stairs. It was only eight flights down, so no big deal. She made quick work of them, practically running down the stairs, two and three steps at a time. She slowed when she heard a stairwell door open below her though, not wanting to run all over whoever had just entered the stairwell.

Most hospital staffers she knew, if not by name then definitely by sight, but when she turned the corner and saw none other than Cara Byrne walking up the stairs, she was surprised, to say the least. Byrne had a young woman with her, a woman Anya had never seen before, dressed in uniform just like her own. She knew this woman had to be a trainee, that sort of frightened, wary look on her face a dead giveaway. She tried to nod and smile her way past them, but Byrne shot her a look that could kill and stepped out n front of her. Anya figured she was in for it, but instead, Byrne just smirked at a little too sweetly and said, “Ah, Anya just the person we were looking for.”

Thinking fast, Anya quickly replied, “Sorry, ma’am. Dr. Griffin called me up to the ninth floor to go through her office with her. She said she thought she saw someone coming out of her office when she arrived, but it turns out the cleaning crew was just running a little behind this morning and she caught Hayes coming out of her office with the trash.” She knew her little lie was flimsy, but she hadn’t really wanted to tell Byrne why Abby had really called her upstairs. She didn’t really like lying but she knew Abby would appreciate her attempt at discretion. If her excuse flew, at least she could text Abby and warn her about the fib before Byrne would have a chance to catch up with her to corroborate.

Thankfully, Byrne seemed to buy it though, at least for now, as she said, “Well, I guess that’s alright then. Nevertheless, Miss Spring and I were looking for you because I wanted to introduce you. Anya, this is Tris Spring; your new trainee.”

Anya looked over at the woman again, like really looked at her that time, and the first thing she thought was, ‘How old is this kid?’ but instead of blurting that out, she simply gritted her teeth and said, “Pleased to meet you, Tris.” Tris stepped forward quickly, thrusting her hand out hard enough to poke Anya with it, and Anya had to fight down a groan. Trying to keep up appearances, Anya simply picked up Tris’ hand and shook it stiffly before letting it go. An overeager trainee was pretty much the last thing Anya wanted, but when she glanced back over at Byrne and found that cruel smirk and raised eyebrows, she knew she couldn’t give her boss the satisfaction of rattling her. So, instead she just grinned right back at Byrne and said, “Well, if that’ll be all ma’am, I believe Tris and I have some rounds to make then.”

Byrne stiffened slightly, and Anya thought she might be pressing her luck with her coy tone, but Byrne nodded rigidly and turned back the way she had come without another word, leaving Anya alone with her trainee. She glanced back at Tris then and found the young beta staring at her feet. She racked her brain for a way to break the ice, but figured if she was going to be stuck with this girl, she may as well get to know her and quickly asked, “So, Tris, how old are you, kid?”

She watched as Tris shivered a little, looking up only long enough to stutter out, “N-nineteen,” before quickly looking down again.

Undaunted, Anya just shook her head and pressed on, figuring she’d keep asking questions until she found the one that would help Tris loosen up. She took a step closer as she said, “Alright, and why did you take this job?”

Tris looked back up at her then, and the uncertainty Anya found in her eyes was only vaguely disguised by her bravado, as she plainly said, “Because I wanted to be a cop, but my parents couldn’t afford college, and the academy won’t take you if you don’t have a degree, so this was my backup plan.”

Anya was struck by how Tris’ words tugged at her heart. It shouldn’t have surprised her, but it really did, that she could have easily been right there in Tris’ shoes, twelve years before. Her dreams hadn’t really worked out the way she thought they would, and suddenly she feared for Tris, that the young beta would turn out just like her; thirty-one, single, with a job but not a career and a sort of sordid past to boot. Thinking about her love life brought up thoughts of Octavia though, and she figured at least everything about her life wasn’t as bad as it seemed. The possibilities with Octavia made her feel lighter as she finally said, “Good answer. A hard answer, but a good one.”

Tris seemed a bit more relaxed and for that Anya was grateful. She led Tris down the stairs then, heading towards the ER, but before they could get there, Tris asked, “Why did you take this job?”

It was a simple question, that should have a simple answer, but all Anya could think was, ‘I don’t even know anymore.’ She knew a young woman like Tris didn’t need to hear that though, and so she offered a more cheerful answer instead, quickly saying, “Good health benefits and regular hours, but I guess my hours aren’t that regular anymore. I’m working split shifts the rest of the month.”

Tris giggled a little at her words, and Anya was a little confused by it until Tris said, “Yeah, I checked the schedule in Cara’s office this morning. Guess who else is work split shifts the rest of the month?”

“Oh, that’s just rotten,” Anya said before she could stop herself, begrudging Byrne even more for punishing Tris, even if only by proxy, for her own missteps.

Luckily for her, Tris didn’t take it the way she had meant it, replying easily, “It’s not so bad. The way I see it I’m paying my dues sooner rather than later, and really, the two-hour lunches suit me just fine.” Tris’ wistful tone was too much for Anya though, but she just didn’t have the heart to tell Tris that the split shifts thing was definitely her fault. She simply continued down the stairs with a nod, deciding she’d find a way to make it up to Tris at some point.

Tris’ overeager voice continued to ring out as they made their way into the ER proper. Anya could barely keep up, as Tris went on and on; about how excited she was to ‘make the rounds,’ and what that meant according to the employee guidebook she had read the day before and about how she didn’t think she could possibly remember all the different codes the hospital had for the different types of emergencies. Anya stopped her there, partly because she wasn’t sure how much more of Tris’ rambling she could stand, but mostly because if she was going to teach Tris the ropes, she was going to do it right. She cleared her throat to get Tris’ attention, and only when Tris finally understood and clamed up, did she finally say, “The three codes that are most important are the ones you should learn first; Code Grey, Code Silver, and Code Black. Grey means respond to the designated area prepared to subdue an unarmed combative. Silver means it’s an armed combative, and Black means a more general threat, like a bomb threat, contagious outbreak, or chemical weapon. Code Black drills are held once a month. They rotate for type of emergency each month… the next one is for Chemical weapons, I think. They’re always the last Saturday of the month… Oh, and, they’re mandatory for the entire security staff, even if you’re not scheduled that day.” She paused in the hallway, watching Tris continue on without her for just a second, before she added, “And, let me tell you… You do not want to miss a drill day, because with Union rules, they have to pay us for four hours even though the drill only takes about an hour to complete.”

Tris stopped at that, looking back over her shoulder with a confused look. Anya nearly groaned at how young the kid looked as she said, “But… I’m not a member of any labor union. I don’t think I am, anyway.”

Anya simply smiled as she caught up, saying, “Well, you are… or at least you will be by then. Grace period is only two weeks, and if management doesn’t fire you, you get a card automatically.”

Tris sighed a little and Anya thought she didn’t look convinced, but then Tris just smiled at her and said, “Well then, you had better make sure I don’t fuck up too bad between now and then, huh?” Anya grinned at the way Tris teased her, and despite her earlier reservations, she thought that if Tris at least had a sense of humor, maybe the rest of the month wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

~~~

 

Normally, Octavia would consider what she was doing as snooping, but Anya had said, ‘Make yourself at home, just lock up on your way out.’ So, Octavia figured she was just _making herself at home._ The first thing she had done after Anya left for work was rummage through her jacket pockets until she found the clean pair of underwear that she had stashed in there the night before. It was a last second decision, but she’d had a feeling then that she would need them, and now here they were, fresh and clean. They were a little wrinkled, but Octavia had just untwisted them and slipped them on. Next, she’d gone over to Anya’s closet and performed a thorough search through Anya’s clothes. She took turns between just feeling the fabrics and actually smelling them as she imagined Anya in each piece. She’d eventually chosen a simple long-sleeved button down to act as a robe; it wasn’t quite flannel, but the fabric was soft and worn. It was long too, long enough to cover her butt, but she did have to roll up the sleeves, especially if she was going to make some breakfast. With the way her stomach was growling, she knew that needed to be next on her list of things to do.

As she made her way to the kitchen, she felt a little guilty for occupying every spare second Anya had had that morning, not even leaving enough time for Anya to make herself some toast or something before work. The feeling didn’t last long though, when she realized Anya didn’t have much more than a half-loaf of bread, some eggs and condiments anyway. Deciding to check all the cabinets, thinking maybe Anya had oatmeal or granola stashed away somewhere, Octavia simply climbed up onto the counter and shimmied her way along the bar as she looked inside each cabinet. Still, she didn’t find much; some white rice and a couple boxes of pasta that looked dusty, and some canned goods that were out of date. Apparently, Anya wasn’t much of a cook, still that didn’t really bother Octavia. Anya had a lot more going for her than her breakfast options. Octavia thought about skipping the cabinet over the fridge, but she figured she’d already looked in every other one, so why not that one too. That’s when she realized Anya must have quite a penchant for expensive tequila. There had to be ten or twelve bottles up there, all in varying states of fullness, but all opened nonetheless. It was kind of a good sign though, if Octavia really thought about it. Anya had expensive tastes, so that was a thing. The fact that there were no empty tequila bottles in the recycling bin meant that Anya wasn’t an alcoholic either.

Eventually, Octavia settled for scrambled eggs and toast, as that was pretty much her only option. Normally, she wouldn’t use butter or jelly on toast; the butter was added fat she didn’t need, and the jelly was mostly just empty sugar, but she already felt tired and she’d only been up a couple of hours. She knew she had a long day of training ahead of her at the gym, plus her after hours workout with Anya. She grabbed up the butter and jelly out of the fridge then, figuring she’d need the boost. The thought on Anya in workout wear, straddling her as Anya pinned her to the mat, was enough to make Octavia feel adventurous. She quickly decided to splurge on her drink too, pouring herself a big glass of orange juice, while she waited for the bread to become toast.

After breakfast was eaten and cleaned up, she went back to Anya’s room to check her phone, where it was still plugged it into Anya’s charger. Not finding any messages, Octavia thought about just getting back into bed, figuring she really had nothing better to do other than nap in Anya’s bed until she needed to leave for the gym. When she lifted the covers, she quickly realized that wasn’t a good idea. She shivered as her eyes traced the outline of where she and Anya had been the night before. She could clearly see the stain she’d made when she had come all over Anya that last time, and she suddenly felt embarrassed by the size of the spot. She gathered up the blanket and the sheets, and her clothes from the night before. She toted them into the hallway before she could stop herself. She’d spotted a closet there earlier and figured that’s where the laundry machines would be. She opened one side of the pocket doors and sighed, relieved, when she found an over-under washer-dryer combination, empty and ready to wash. She stuffed the washer nearly full and closed the door, before glancing around for the detergent. She didn’t see any right in front of her, so she quickly pulled open the other side of the closet, only to reveal a startling surprise.

The other side of the closet had a set of shelves, and a hanging line, but it was what was on the shelves and hanging from the line that surprised her. The top shelf had different liquids and oils in little bottles, and Octavia couldn’t help herself, reaching out and picking up the first one she saw. She turned the bottle in her hand, wanting to read the label, but when she did, she blushed and put the bottle back where she’d gotten it from. She grimaced as the words flew through her head again, finally really understanding the implication of, ‘ _Slide right in_ _with Slickiud_ : _Personal Lubricant_.’ Her eyes skittered about as she ogled the next shelf down, instantly spotting two sets of sturdy-looking handcuffs; one set with a short chain and one with a much longer chain. She could imagine what those were for, but then she spotted a set of leather cuffs near the back of the shelf too and she felt the skin of her chest flush with heat along with her face. Obviously, Anya was into restraints, and Octavia shivered as she thought about Anya cuffing her to the bed and doing things to her that she’d only imagined so far.

Her eyes continued to drift down, and Octavia thought she might burn up from the blush that formed when she got a good look at next shelf, several pieces of glass and silicone lying on a fabric shelf liner. As she took in the shape of each piece, she clenched her fists at her sides, trying to keep herself from investigating them all with her hands. Impulse control wasn’t really one of her strong suits though, and eventually, Octavia reached out and picked up the piece that was closest to her. It looked sort of like a fruit juicer, with ridges that swirled from the tip down towards the base, but the end dipped back down to a blub shaped ball instead the flat bottom one might expect. It took her a minute, even though it probably shouldn’t have, but in the end, she stuttered a curse and she nearly dropped the piece of glass in her hands when she realized that the end was bulb-shaped because the piece was meant to go inside, and then stay inside. She nervously put the piece back down on the shelf, but before she could even think about it, she was picking up the next piece instead.

It was longer than the first one, with several wide bumps running down the shaft. Octavia nearly laughed when she realized it looked sort of like a caterpillar’s body, but she quickly squelched the urge when her eyes fell on the last piece of glass on the shelf. It looked like it was covered in glitter the way the light caught against it and she instantly had to know what that one felt like, too. It turned out the light was catching on it because it was a _very_ life-like recreation of a penis; veins, dips, ridges and all. The base wasn’t bulb shaped like the first one she had held either, but more like an athletic cup, concave and tear-drop shaped. Octavia could only think of one reason why it would be shaped like that, to better fit the wearer, and she blushed even harder as she ran her fingers over the divot at the tip. Despite her embarrassment, she couldn’t keep herself from imagining it swinging between Anya’s hips. It was exciting thinking about how full it would make her feel, how full _Anya_ would make her feel, pushing it deep inside her. She fumbled the glass in her hands as a shiver ran down her spine, and she quickly decided to put it back on the shelf, before she actually dropped this one. Even still, her fingers fluttered over the surface one last time as she stepped away.

The hanging line caught her attention then, and she ran her fingers through the different lengths of rope that were hanging there. There were thin, soft pieces that felt delicate against her skin, and there were thicker, fuzzier lengths that looked heavy enough to hold back a bucking bronco. Along side the ropes, there were a few long, thick strips of leather, all with buckles sown on to one end. She ran her fingers over those too, relishing in how soft the leather felt against her fingers. She was just putting two and two together about the leather straps and the leather cuffs, when a chirping sound echoed through the quiet apartment. Octavia was suddenly glad she had put down the glass phallus, because she jumped at the sound. She quickly realized it was just her own phone though, indicating she had a new text message. With her revelry suddenly, finally, broken, she spotted the laundry detergent sitting on the bottom shelf. She trembled a little as she bent down to scoop it up, but she managed to get most of a cup’s worth of the detergent into the machine before she turned it on.

The machine indicated it was going to run for twenty-eight minutes before it was finished, so Octavia decided to put her exploring aside to check the message on her phone. She perched on the side of Anya’s bed, only to realize that her snooping into the hall closet had caused a reaction; a big one, and she groaned because she knew she’d just ruined yet another pair of underwear over Anya. ‘At least these aren’t one of my prettier pairs,’ she thought as she shifted, trying to get comfortable in her now wet briefs. She huffed, hoping this wasn’t going to become a trend, but silently, a little part of her hoped it would. She tried to focus on her phone though, despite the way her underwear clung to her, rubbing against her as she moved. When she saw her brother’s name on the text ID, she immediately shook off her shivery feelings and opened the message. Bellamy’s text read, ‘Have you seen Raven today?’ and with that, all thoughts of personal discomfort flew out Octavia’s head. Worried that something terrible had happened on Raven’s date with Abby, she quickly typed a response, ‘No… Why? What happened?’

Not having anything else to do, she reluctantly settled in to wait then. She hated waiting, and maybe her brother knew that because his decidedly vague answer came through only a moment later, ‘Nothing bad, just something big, I guess…’ She groaned, rolling her eyes as she started to enter, ‘What the fuck, Bell?’ into her phone, but another message came through before she could get it all down, saying, ‘Just come by the shop before you go to training today, ok?’ She deleted her crabby response only for another text to pop up right on the heels of Bellamy’s last message, ‘I’d explain, but this is something you need to see for yourself.’

Not really knowing what to say to that, she hesitated for a second before simply typing in, ‘I’m running a load of sheets through the wash, but I’ll be there as quick as I can.’ She could almost hear Bell’s laugh as she reread her text, knowing what was coming before his next message even came through, but she groaned anyway when she read, ‘What?! My sister washes her sheets? I just thought you just flipped them over once a week until they got so gross you had to through them out.’ Octavia wanted to type a freaking novel to him then; to tell him off, to tell him to mind his own business, and then to embarrass him by telling him exactly who’s sheets she was washing and why, but instead she simply typed in, ‘Who said I’m washing my sheets, huh?’

It was very satisfying when it took a long time for Bellamy to respond. Even then, it was only a few words, ‘There are some things I’m better off not knowing.’ She laughed as she entered in one last jab, saying, ‘Oh come on, bro. Don’t play with fire unless you’re ok getting burned.’ She waited for a few minutes after that, expecting some kind of snide response, but then she finally heard the washer buzz, signaling it was done. She spared her phone once last glance before she got up off the bed and went to switch the sheets over to the dryer. She selected the longest cycle on the dryer, even though she was anxious to get over to the Ark, because she really wanted to put the sheets back on Anya’s bed before she left. She told herself that it wasn’t like she was trying to erase her presence. She just thought Anya would appreciate the gesture, and if she got to be the one to mess the sheets up again later on, Octavia figured it was all for the better. She did her best to distract herself from those thoughts though, and from the contents of the other side of the laundry closet, as she waited for the dryer to finish. She ventured into the living room, looking through Anya’s movie and music collections; approving of the movie selection whole-heartedly, lots of action and sci-fi, but when she got to Anya’s music collection she wasn’t sure what to think.

Several of the albums, and an even greater number of the cd’s, were in languages she couldn’t read. She figured a lot of it was probably music like she had heard at Polaris the other night, but because she couldn’t read any of the titles, she wasn’t really sure. She sifted through the cd’s until she came upon one that said the word ‘Live’ in English on the front. She’d always preferred listening to live albums as opposed to studio albums, because she liked the way they flowed. If it was done right, she could almost make herself believe she was actually at the concert in the crowd, feeding off the energy of all those people around her. She popped the cd into nearby the stereo, partly to see what kind of music it was, but also because she needed to give herself something to focus on, rather than allowing her mind to wander in the near silence surrounding her.

As the album played, Octavia was surprised when the lead singer spoke in English, before singing in whatever language he was singing in. The little snippets in between each song at least gave her some idea of what each song was about. A couple were love songs, a couple were about struggling with mental illness or addiction, and one that was a sort of an anti-war ballad, even though it really wasn’t a ballad at all. There wasn’t much preamble to the last song on the album, but when a very familiar tune started to play, her breath hitched in her throat. The song took her back and she could almost feel Anya pressed against her, lips right against her skin as Anya sang the translated lyrics into her ear. She remembered the words like they were her own name, even though she’d only heard them once, and she couldn’t stop herself from softly singing along with the chorus each time it played, “Breathe for me, Love for me, and feel love, Love my love.”

Eventually, the CD started over and she dutifully got up off the couch to pull it out of the stereo. She slipped it back into its case too, before putting it back where she had gotten it from. She wasn’t sure if there was any order to the collection, but she didn’t want to leave something out of place, in case Anya had a system. She was pushing her luck as she made her way back to the hall closet, the discoveries from earlier still calling out for her attention, but she just checked the timer on the dryer before making her way back to Anya’s bedroom. She picked up her phone, intent on texting Raven. She didn’t really know what she was going to say, but she felt like she needed to warn Raven she would be dropping by. Maybe ‘warning her’ wasn’t quite the right way to think of it, but that didn’t stop Octavia from typing in, ‘Hey! I was gonna swing by the shop a little later. Want me to bring you a coffee?’

Perched on the edge of the bed again, Octavia waited for a minute or two, trying to keep herself occupied by surfing social media. Mostly, she ended up just staring at her phone as she thumbed through her feed; that is, until Raven’s response finally popped up. ‘Nope, I’m good. I’ve got too much excess energy as it is,’ was all it said, but Octavia felt her eyes widen as she read over the text, again and again. Something was off and she knew it. One thing Raven never refused was an iced coffee from their favorite coffee shop.

 

~~~

 

Reading Abby’s reply over and over a few times, Raven struggled just to try to absorb it all. ‘I’ll try, I’m sorry. I miss you, too. Honestly, my stomach’s been cramped up since the second I dropped you off at the shop this morning. Meet me at the townhouse about 7:30? I really should have just given you your own key…’ The longer Raven looked over the message, the more relaxed she felt, and she quickly realized Abby was deliberately trying to keep herself calm for her. It made Raven feel incredible to get to share her emotions with Abby, but she figured she could definitely do without the stomach cramps Abby had mentioned. Her stomach had been in a knot all morning too, and her little spat with Bellamy and Wick hadn’t helped matters. She should have expected them to freak out over her shiny-new mating mark, but in hindsight, she realized she may have been a little caviler in the way she’d gone about telling them. She figured it wasn’t her fault if they couldn’t take a joke. So, maybe she shouldn’t have said, ‘Hey guys! Look what I got!’ like she’d gotten a new car part or something equally as mundane, but she hadn’t really known any other way to go about it at the time.

She wasn’t hiding from them, or that was what she was telling herself anyway, as she sat in the breakroom and collected herself. She knew that eventually she would have to stumble back downstairs and get back under that clunker she was supposed to have finished the day before, but she felt like she needed just a few more minutes before she faced Wick and Bellamy again. The clunker customer had at least been gracious about the delay on his repair job, especially after Raven had told him that she’d had to get stitches to repair the damage his car had done to her forehead. It turned out that the clunker was his spare car anyway, which actually stunned Raven even more that he’d been willing to pay so much to have it fixed, but instead of pointing that out, she just took at as a blessing and tried to move on.

Startled out of her thoughts, Raven blinked as at her phone as it vibrated in her hand. She’d been in so deep that it took her a second to focus on the new message that popped up, ‘Hey! I was gonna swing by the shop a little later. Want me to bring you a coffee?’

‘Shit! How am I gonna tell O?’ ran through Raven’s head as she tried to formulate an answer. “Well, at least she’s already coming over, so I don’t have to worry about whether she’s got the time for me to drop this bomb on her or not,” she mused aloud, laughing softly at the idea of having to talk herself up. She knew it would be weird if she turned down the coffee; she was always down for coffee, but with how jumpy and irritable she already was, she thought the caffeine would probably send her into shock or something. She tried to keep her response casual, but not so casual to arouse suspicion, typing in, ‘Nope, I’m good. I’ve got too much excess energy as it is.’ She hit send before she could second guess herself too much.

When the phone vibrated in her hand again, she was almost too scared to look at it, but as the buzzing continued, she realized Octavia wasn’t just messaging her back; she was calling. She quickly considered not answering, but she already knew she was in trouble. It was probably better to not put this off anyway, so she gulped in a big breath as she quickly swiped right to answer the call, again trying to be casual as she said cheerily, “Hey O! How’d it go last night?”

Something immediately seemed off, Octavia’s tone just a little too happy, as she all but shouted into her ear, “God, Raven! Soooo! Good!” Raven couldn’t keep from wincing when she felt like her ear was going to burst from the volume, but Octavia’s excitement eventually muddled down as she started to tell Raven all about her date with Anya; first about the motorcycle ride to the restaurant and about then restaurant itself.

The whole time Octavia was talking though, Raven couldn’t help thinking that Octavia was hiding something, that there was something Octavia just wasn’t saying. She figured that Octavia was skipping some of the juicier details, but then Octavia got to _the_ _juicy details_ , and Raven had to stop her before Octavia gave her a bit too much information. When she heard the words, _‘…there was just so much of it…’_ Raven jumped in, saying, “O, you, uh, you don’t have to tell me everything, you know? Some things can be _private_.” She hoped her emphasis on the word ‘private’ would shut Octavia up, but when her friend simply started in where she’d left off, she interrupted again, saying, “Really, O… As long as it was good, then it’s good, right?”

Already feeling like she was setting a double standard though, she merely sighed as Octavia grumbled into the phone, “I listen when you tell me this stuff, right?” Raven could only grunt in reply, as Octavia proceeded to tell her, in way too much detail, about how Anya had ‘ridden her hard and then put her to bed still wet.’

Raven tried to play the dutiful friend though, listening through the whole tirade, but when Octavia got to the things she had discovered in Anya’s closet, she couldn’t keep quiet anymore, finally saying, “Octavia, if you don’t stop right there, I’m going to hang up on you.”

Hearing Octavia gasp into the phone, Raven almost felt bad for being snippy, but then Octavia’s tone shifted, her words coming across a little more coquettish as she said, “Well, someone is touchy today? I’m guessing someone didn’t have a good night last night?” Raven really knew she was in trouble then; Octavia already knew something was up, that was what she had been hiding. She sucked in a quick breath, ready to just blurt it out, but she quickly realized that had been Octavia’s plan all along, to bait her with this extravagant story until Raven just exploded. She still had to grit her teeth to keep from saying it though. She was sure Octavia could hear the way her teeth ground together through the phone when, a moment later, she heard her friend whisper, “Shit! It really was bad, wasn’t it?”

“I— No, it…” was all Raven managed to get out at first, suddenly really scared to do this over the phone, but she’d dug this hole; well, her omega and Abby’s alpha had dug this hole, and Raven was going to have to lie in it, no matter how complicated it got. “She, uh, she marked me,” she finally said, almost so quietly that, at first, she wasn’t sure Octavia had even heard her.

It was the most charged silence Raven had ever felt, but before it could truly make her uncomfortable, Octavia’s voice boomed down the line, as she barked, “Wh-Wha-WHAT?”

Raven had been sort of expecting that and choked the words out again. Even though she knew Octavia had heard her both times, she still hesitated before elaborating, “I bit her, too. She, uh, she asked me to move in with her...” Octavia’s whispered, ‘wow…’ coming through the speaker gave Raven pause, but she kept pushing on, suddenly desperate to just get it all out, but still sputtering as she said, “A-Abby thinks we… she thinks we’re a phased pair… It— it makes a lot of sense actually... I mean, I begged her to do it, O, like I didn’t have any control over what was happening at the time. It was all instinct, I just didn’t want to ever let go, and if I had to, I wanted some part of me, physically, chemically, connected to Abby, so we’d never be totally apart. I didn’t really have the mental ‘whatever’ to comprehend that last night, but now that I’ve had a little time to think about it… I don’t think it would have mattered if Clarke, herself, had walked in on us. It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

Raven squirmed then, as nothing but silence came through the phone. She thought maybe she’d lost Octavia somewhere during her little speech, but eventually she heard Octavia clear her throat and whisper, “Clarke is gonna freak, dude.”

Just happy that Octavia wasn’t ‘freaking’ herself, Raven cleared her throat too and said, “I know, O, I know. I just hope we can all keep our heads long enough to work it out.”

“Well, you let me know if you need back up for that conversation. I’d love to be there, for… for both of you, if you’ll let me,” Octavia murmured then, and Raven could tell she was still trying to wrap her head around the whole situation. Raven just smiled into the phone, even though Octavia couldn’t see her, because while she’d thought about bringing Octavia and Anya along to act as a buffer, she knew that wasn’t the best idea. They would probably be better off if Clarke didn’t feel like she was stepping into an intervention or something, especially when they tried to explain what had happened. She did appreciate the offer though, and after only another moment’s hesitation, she politely declined, “Thanks, Octavia, but I think this is something Abby and Clarke and I have to do just the three of us. But… I will give you a heads up when Clarke is headed your way in her rampage.”

Octavia chuckled a little, and Raven thought it sounded sort of nervous, but when she started to try to think of something else to say, Octavia just sighed, and said, “Yeah, thanks for that… You know, maybe, I’ll just stay at Anya’s the rest of the week.” Octavia paused just long enough for Raven to laugh at her words before her friend blurted out, in a tone completely opposite to the joking one she’d just had, “Wait! Are you actually moving out? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure Clarke and I can’t swing the rent on our place by ourselves.”

Amazed at Octavia’s sometimes-brutal self-preservation instinct, Raven tried to mollify herself as she replied, “Yes, O… I’m really moving out, but there are a lot of things to settle before that happens. Besides, I’ve already paid the rent through the end of the year, so you guys won’t have to worry about that for a few months.”

Hearing Octavia sigh into the phone then, Raven thought she actually sounded relieved, but then Octavia said, “Well, I guess now that you’ve got my night last night beat, I think I’m gonna go hit things for a few hours. And then, I think I’m gonna hit on Anya some, too.”

Raven just shook her at her friend’s awkward segue, and chuckled before she said, “Ha! You still have to hit on her, even though she’s already seen you naked? That’s a bit sad…” She laughed again when she heard Octavia growl into the phone.

It was only a few seconds before she heard Octavia spitting down the line, “I didn’t mean it like that, dumbass… I’m actually going to hit her, remember? I know I told you… She’s coming by Skai’s after work tonight to be my sparring partner. I’m hoping we can get in at least a couple rounds, before Echo kicks us out”

Octavia’s haughty tone didn’t leave Raven much room for humor, but she tried anyway, laughing as she replied, “Yeah, you crazy kids and your new-fangled innuendos. ‘Sparring partner,’ ‘a couple rounds.’ Yeah… Right…”

The terribly overexaggerated groan that Octavia released was satisfying, Raven enjoying teasing her friend, but Raven grimaced as Octavia barked back, “God, Raven, just! UGH! Just. Forget. It.”

Knowing that was about as far as she could push Octavia, Raven bit down on another laugh and tried to not fan Octavia’s flame as she said, “Jeez, O, I knew what you meant, ok? Just— just be safe, alright? Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do?”

Raven chuckled again though, despite herself, because it seemed Octavia could still give back as good as she was getting when she huffed, “Yeah, but doesn’t that leave me with _too many_ options, instead of not enough?”

“Yeah, yeah, joke all you want, O. Just remember, I love you, kiddo,” Raven choked out with one final laugh, before Octavia simply grunted and hung up on her. She knew she’d never get tired of giving Octavia a hard time about being so young, and ultimately, she hoped Octavia wouldn’t have it any other way either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I've been told that I should link a social media account to this story, just in case people want to ask questions or talk about it outside the comments section. I'm not great with social media though and when you see my Tumblr that will be very clear. I hardly ever used it before their big shift away from NSFW content, and now I use it even less, but it's the only account I've got so... hit me up if you wanna chat or yell at me or whatever... [Click Here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nottilitsfinished)


	24. The Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... here it is... the highly anticipated sparring date between Anya and Octavia. Enjoy!!!

Octavia tried to focus during training that day; she really did, but with Raven’s big news looming over her and the idea of Anya showing up later, it made it hard for her to concentrate on anything that wasn’t going on in her head. She hit the heavy bag for a while, but all too often, she thought about the position Raven had put her in with Clarke. She’d lose her center then and hit too hard and have to struggle to dodge the backswing. She understood; it wasn’t like Raven had meant to bond with Abby, but still, her position in the whole thing kind of sucked. She tried to hit the speed bag too, but every time she tried to get a good rhythm going, she would swear she could feel Anya’s eyes on her. Of course, she looked up every time too, hoping to see Anya watching her, but then smack, the speed bag would whopp her up-side the head. After the third time that happened, her regular trainer, and Echo’s assistant, Tristan Becker, called for her to stop and take five.

She took her five, only to have him start her on footwork and takedowns and break-falls afterwards. The first time she tried to circle him, she stumbled, and Octavia thought she saw a brief flash of anger on Tristan’s face. He quickly capitalized on her mistake though and sent her flying to the mat before she really got a good look. Then, they worked submissions and holds and escapes too, but she was still so distracted. Every time she got thrown, Anya’s face would flash above her just as her back hit the mats and then she’d have to scramble to recover the fall, only barely managing to keep her head from thumping against the ground each time. Tristan capitalized on those mistakes too, taking the advantage she was giving him and forcing her to submit no less then four different times; once in a painful leg lock, and the other three times were all submission by choke hold.

She managed to get the upper hand a couple times, but still ended up bumbling her way through an arm bar she’d done a thousand and one times, all because she caught a glimpse of Tristan’s unmarked scent gland and it immediately made her think about Raven and Abby again. Once she even thought she had Tristan beaten, seeing an opening for a triangle-arm choke, but then somehow, he ended up behind her. The image of Anya wrapped tightly around her back flashed through her brain, Anya’s feet hooked into her knees, holding her open to probing fingers. She was so distracted by that image that she barely managed a weak tap out before Tristan sunk her world into blackness with a rear-naked choke.

When she stumbled to her feet after that, that’s when she realized that the eyes she’d been feeling on her weren’t Anya’s; they were Echo’s and the look of disappointment on Echo’s face hurt worse than the light ring of bruises that she was sure was already forming around her throat. Echo held her gaze for only a second before turning and leaving the room. That made Octavia feel even worse, that Echo didn’t even feel like it was worth to yell at her for her inattention. Eyes still fixed on the empty, closing door, she barely heard Tristan then, when he said to hit the showers, that they were done for the day if she wasn’t going to take their training seriously. Her feet started moving on their own though, and she said, “Sorry,” almost instinctually, for what was probably the fiftieth time that day, as she shuffled towards the showers.

As she sat on the bench in the locker room, she tried to calm herself down, only to shift uncomfortably against the bench a moment later, because of course, she was dripping into her underwear. Part of her wanted to curse Anya for exposing her like this, for making her see just how good she could really feel, but she knew that wasn’t fair. Her inability to concentrate wasn’t because of anything Anya had or hadn’t done. Octavia figured she had simply lost her center, her focus. She knew she needed to concentrate on getting it back before she could even think about getting in the ring with Ontari. Too bad that was looming only twelve short days away. She considered showering then, and after only a brief discussion with herself, decided she definitely needed one. The hot water would surely calm her down a bit and there was also the added bonus of not being sweaty and gross when Anya finally got there.

The second she stepped under the spray she realized just how right she was, just how much she needed a shower. The steady stream of pelting hot water relaxed away some of the tension that had built up in her neck and shoulders, and that effect eventually trailed down through her back and hips, too. The stress of constantly imagining Anya, in varying states of arousal and undress, had left Octavia a little beyond frustrated. She would have liked to have spent the whole day with Anya, instead of at the gym, preferably naked and in bed, or on her kitchen table, or up against the wall in her shower. The shower, yes, the shower was… helping her relax; not making her think about what had happened in Anya’s shower that morning.

Replaying that image, Anya taking her against the shower wall, in her current setting, wasn’t the best idea. It made all new images rush through her, and she couldn’t stop herself from slipping her hand down in between her thighs, instantly noticing the significant amount of wetness still clinging there. A surge of arousal ran through her when she realized that it certainly wasn’t from the shower stream either. She pulled her hand away from her sex with a sigh, not wanting to get herself more worked up, instead of less, and she leaned up against the wall of the shower, to try to collect herself.

Eventually, the temptation grew too great though, and she couldn’t help it. She gave in, gently allowing her fingers to trail all over her body; lightly brushing the sides of her neck, trailing roughly over her nipples, pinching and flicking, before moving down to flatten against her stomach. She felt her abs tremble as she dipped her hands lower, sliding down to grip at her own hips. She closed her eyes tight then, finally, truly, giving herself over to the fantasy, and imagined that it was Anya’s fingertips gripping into her hip bones instead of her own. ‘Anya’s’ hand moved lower and lower until fingertips trailed over her slit once again. Octavia instantly bucked into the contact, stifling a moan when she realized she had gotten even wetter, just by thinking about it being Anya touching her. A single finger slid in between her lips then, barely brushing over her clit, and it felt amazing having ‘Anya’ touch her like that, but suddenly, a hand clutched over her mouth and she felt fingers digging into her cheek. A hand slapped against the back of her hand then too, covering her sex, gripping her own hand tightly, possessively. For a second she couldn’t think, couldn’t move, but then her eyes flashed open, immediately shooting wide with panic. All she could see were deep dark pools of black staring back at her.

 

~~~

 

When Anya first arrived at Skai’s The Limit, she thought about just sitting in the parking lot for a few minutes. She had been in such a rush to get back to Octavia that she hadn’t lingered after her shift had ended, not even for a moment, and she ended up getting to the gym more than a half an hour earlier than she’d said she would be. With the extra time, she started to feel sort of guilty for not taking Tris up on her offer for a celebratory first-day beer, but Tris hadn’t seemed too broken up about it, so Anya tried not to worry about it. She glanced at her watch again and figured that she might as well go inside. She would probably need a few minutes to get checked in as a guest anyway. She wasn’t sure what, if any, security procedures they had, but being early to anywhere new was a good idea in her book. She guessed she could use some the extra time to change into the new workout wear, too.

Tris had seemed very excited about the lunch-time shopping trip, claiming she needed to pick up some things too, but the whole situation had left Anya sort of confused. All Tris bought was a pack of gum and a pair of socks. It had taken her until well after their lunch had ended to understand that what Tris had really needed from their little shopping trip was not being left behind. It endeared Tris to her even more though, as Anya remembered what it felt like to be Tris’ age, needing to be accepted and welcomed. ‘It helps that Tris has great taste too,’ Anya thought as she settled her backpack onto her back, imaging Octavia’s reaction to her new charcoal grey top and matching bottoms. Needless to say, Anya started to make her way into the gym, eager to see how worked up she could get Octavia, just by being in the same room with her.

Anya had barely made her way into the lobby, before a door to one of the offices along the left wall opened and she overheard a woman say, “I don’t know what is going on with that girl today, but she needs to get her head in the game. She performs like this at the invitational, and she won’t stand a chance against Ontari.”

There was a brief pause before a definitively male voice responded, “I agree. I mean, I almost choked her out today when we were practicing escapes. She needs to work through whatever has her so distracted or she’s gonna get destroyed…”

“Don’t be hasty, Tristan, maybe it was just a bad day, everybody has them, even you. Octavia is allowed to have them, too. We’ll see what she’s like tomorrow and then decide if she and I need to have a little heart to heart,” the woman replied, and Anya just thought she sounded tired. She peered around the end of the front desk then, trying to get a look at the two people talking, but quickly discovered she was at the wrong angle to see into either office. She figured the space was probably planned that way, but then, a tall, dirty blonde woman stepped through one of the open doors and out into the lobby proper. Anya’s eyes flicked in the direction of the woman’s nodding head as she called over her shoulder, “Anyway, I’ll see you around nine in the morning.” The woman stopped dead when she spotted Anya standing there, leaning against the counter, shouting out a surprised greeting, “Oh! Can I help you?”

Anya could tell this woman was usually all business and that the high-pitched tone of her voice had embarrassed her, but Anya just pushed past the awkward welcome and approached the woman, hand extended in front of her, as she said, “Yes, my name is Anya Woods. I’m supposed to be meeting Octavia Blake for a sparring session at seven.”

The woman kept a firm grip on her hand as she replied, “Huh? Funny, Octavia didn’t mention she was expecting visitors.” Anya knew she was being appraised and even though she didn’t like it, she let it happen, because when the woman continued, “Pleased to meet you, Anya. I’m Echo, Echo Lagun,” Anya realized who she was talking to; for an intents and purposes, Echo Lagun was Octavia’s boss.

Just then, the source of the man’s voice appeared beside Echo, and Anya tried not to grimace as she took in his bald head and scarred face. He seemed like the rough and tumble sort of alpha, but when Echo released her, Anya shook his outstretched as well, as he said, “Anya, was it? Oh yeah, Octavia mentioned you this afternoon, said you were coming by tonight… Guess it must’ve just slipped my mind. I’m Assistant-Coach Tristan Becker.”

“Nice to meet you,” Anya replied uneasily. She thought she’d heard something extra in his voice, something almost possessive, when he said Octavia’s name, but she tried not to let that immediately cloud her judgement of the man. The little sneer on his face was only reinforcing her ire though and she had to force herself to break her eye contact with him, to turn back to Echo instead. She swallowed quickly, trying to squelch the sudden burning in her throat, before she asked, “Do I need to fill out any kind of waver or anything in order to train with Octavia tonight?”

Echo chuckled a little bit, and then swallowed around what was obviously some sort of knee-jerk reaction and quickly said, “No, that won’t be necessary… It’s after business hours, so I’m not liable if either of you were to get hurt.” Their eyes met when Echo paused, and for a second Anya thought that was the end of it, but then Echo continued, much more protectively than before, “Though I will say this… Don’t you hurt her, or you’ll have to answer to me.” Anya heard Tristan pipe up with a quick “and me,” but Echo pressed on, quietly adding, “And… I don’t just mean in the ring, either.”

Anya ducked her head slightly, not in submission, but merely a nodded acknowledgement of the words. She respected Echo’s protective tone and knew that it was only out of a familial sort of love that Echo would be so bold as to challenge Anya over Octavia. When she lifted her eyes though, she immediately made eye contact with Tristan. His little sneer was gone, replaced by a cunning, hungry smirk. Anya knew that look, and instantly turned the tables on him, showing her teeth and emitting a low growl. She gritted her teeth and slid her eyes back to Echo’s as she spat, “I’ll take that warning from you, but not from him.” She pointed at Tristan’s chest, not touching him, merely emphasizing her point, and she watched him out of the corner of her eye as he growled in response, lowering his body, posturing for a fight.

For just a second, Anya thought he was going to actually attack her, but Echo’s hand jerked up in between them then, stopping Tristan from moving forward, as she barked, “Out, Tristan, Now.” He continued towards her anyway and Anya couldn’t help snarling as he pressed into Echo’s hand, testing his boss’ boundaries as well as her own. Echo growled again, “Leave now or don’t come back tomorrow, Tristan. I won’t have you losing control in my gym, not again, and you know it.”

Anya had initially been impressed by Echo’s stalwart demeanor, appreciating a like mind. Echo seemed calm and collected, despite the fact that she was essentially challenging an alpha over her perceived territory, but Anya was even more impressed when Tristan tried to take another step towards her. Echo had him on his knees in less time than it took Anya to blink. She could see him, still snarling and snapping his jaw at her, but Echo had him dead to rights; one hand gripping the back of his neck, with one of his arms twisted up behind him, wrist grasped tightly in Echo’s other hand. She grimaced when Echo wrenched his arm further up behind his back, knowing the strain his shoulder was under from the maneuver. He finally stilled, slumping against Echo’s hold. Seeming satisfied, Echo finally looked up at Anya and said, “You can just head on back to the locker room if you want. And, don’t worry about this one, he won’t be back. This is the third time this month he’s gotten like this. I thought it was just a protective thing at first, but it’s only gotten worse. I already told—” Anya almost laughed at the way she paused to drive her knee hard into his back when he started to squirm, only to quickly grit her teeth and continue, “I-already-told-him that he was only getting one more chance before I fired him.” Echo looked down at Tristan then, and Anya watched as she got right up in his face to add, “Get your stuff and get out of here Tristan, do you understand me?” Echo jerked his arm up at an even more awkward angle then, and Anya could hear his shoulder joint popping and creaking in protest. He groaned but nodded, and eventually, Echo let him up. Anya was thankful when he didn’t look up at either of them as he shuffled his way into the office he had come out of only a minute or two before. Echo was all business again when she finally turned back to Anya and said, “I’m very sorry about that.”

Feeling instant remorse for having shown her own alpha as well, Anya quickly said, “I apologize, as well. I— I shouldn’t have risen to his challenge. I have no claim over Octavia.” She tried to hide it, but a fair amount sadness unwillingly surfaced in the truth of that statement.

Echo just smiled at her formal tone though, and replied, “That may be, but she was certainly distracted today. I’m sure you overheard Tristan and I talking about it. I imagine you being here has something to do with that, but I can only hope that _tomorrow_ will be better. The weeks leading up to a fight can be the most crucial in training, at least the mental side of it. Psyching yourself out before a fight even begins is the easiest way to lose.”

Echo’s meaning was pretty clear, but Anya just wasn’t quite sure how to take it. Echo obviously meant that Anya was a distraction, but the thing that bothered her about it was that Echo wasn’t really telling her to back off, she was simply pointing out a fact. Anya considered her own words carefully, before she nodded and said, “I agree, but I suppose that principle applies to more in life than just fighting though, doesn’t it?”

When Echo smiled at her again and said, “You’re most definitely right there,” Anya knew she’d hit the nail right on the head. Echo wasn’t telling her to back off, not necessarily, not unless she wasn’t serious about Octavia, and if she was serious about anything, it was Octavia.

A silent understanding passed between them then, as Anya stretched her hand out towards Echo’s again, and Echo shook it briefly, before releasing her once more. Anya knew then that she’d just made her intentions with Octavia pretty clear, and to probably the closest thing Octavia had to a parent, barring Octavia’s older brother, of course. Instead of making Anya feel committed and trapped, it made her feel free, to know that she’d been accepted, and was even respected, at least by some part of Octavia’s ‘family.’ She tried not to think of what it would be like meeting Bellamy for the first time, as Echo began to excuse herself, saying, “Well, I’m just going to go make sure Tristan gets everything that’s his and takes it with him, that way I don’t have to worry about him coming back. I think Octavia is in locker room two, down that way.” Anya followed the movement as Echo gestured down a hallway along the right wall of the lobby. Anya was already moving in that direction when she heard Echo say, “Hurry up in there, Tristan. I’ve got a date tonight too, you know?”

Echo’s voice trailed off behind her as Anya made her way down the hall, passing a couple of doors on her left, labeled three and four. She continued on until she came upon doors one and two on her right. She knocked on the door with the big, plastic ‘2’ on it, but didn’t receive a response. She couldn’t hear anything except the sounds of the air conditioner creaking, but she could smell Octavia all around her. Slightly embarrassed, even though there was no one around, Anya leaned in to sniff the door and groaned as Octavia’s scent took on a sharper contrast. When the freshness hit her senses, she quickly turned the door knob and opened the door without another second’s thought.

The locker room was much like what Anya would expect from a professional athlete’s locker room, a long bench set into the middle of the room, facing a row of extra-wide lockers, three in all. Octavia’s clothes were piled up on one end of the bench, one arm of her top hanging off and dragging the floor. She walked over to it, righting it before setting her own bag down onto the bench. She continued to survey the room, noting the closed door at one end of the lockers and the open one at the other end.

The sound of running water filled her ears as the room filled her eyes, and for a second she couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, but then she noticed the steam rolling into the room from the open door on the right end of the lockers. She took a step towards the steam, but a breathy sigh coming from that direction drew her up short. She wondered if she should call out to Octavia, let her know she was there, but when that breathy sound echoed again, Anya could barely bring herself to breath much less speak. Octavia was touching herself; she knew it, and it was all she could do to not just rush in there to see what Octavia was getting up to without her.

 The breathy little sighs and moans continued emanating from the steaming doorway though, pulling her in. Octavia’s scent spiked as she reached the doorway, hot and aroused, and the sight that greeted Anya was like something out of a fantasy. Octavia had her bottom lip caught between her teeth, biting into it to keep herself from moaning too loudly, as her hand slipped down over her own body. Octavia’s fingers were digging furiously into her own hip, as her back arched off the shower wall at the contact. Her eyes were squeezed so tightly shut that Anya was sure Octavia was seeing stars already.

There in the moment, Anya knew she should announce herself. Octavia would be embarrassed enough at having been caught touching herself, but to know that Anya stood there and watched as she did it, Anya was sure Octavia would be mortified. But, the idea of watching Octavia work herself over for a few minutes, before joining in was a powerful one too. The dilemma was resolved a moment later though, when a muffled moan drew her focus back to what was right in front of her. One of Octavia’s hands was still clutched at her hip, and Anya could just see the edges of bruises she had left on Octavia’s skin, peeking out from under her fingers. Octavia’s other hand had drifted further down and when Octavia’s wet lips slipped around either side of one of her fingers, Anya couldn’t hold herself back anymore. Her alpha snarled at her for not being the one touching Octavia, for not being the one to make Octavia stifle her moans like that, for not being the one taking care of her omega. Still fully clothed, Anya crossed the distance between them in two quick strides, right through the streaming water, and took control.

 

~~~

 

It wasn’t until she heard, “What do you think you’re doing?” in that husky, rough whisper, that Octavia had any idea what was going on. She sighed in relief, oh-so-glad that it was Anya who had encroached on her space, but despite the tension leaving her body again, she still trembled when Anya continued, nearly growling as she said, “Did you think you could touch what’s mine without asking?”

Despite the almost degrading tone, Anya’s words seemed to set fire to her skin and Octavia whimpered softly against Anya’s hand, not sure she could answer even if Anya let her. Octavia felt Anya’s fingers digger deeper into her skin at the sound, but then Anya’s other hand was pushing her own out of the way and Octavia couldn’t do anything but submit to the rough brush off, her hand coming up to grip Anya’s forearm instead. She didn’t even think about using her grip to stop Anya though, as Anya’s finger quickly slipped through her folds. It was a just brief glancing stroke, only once up through her slick, before she felt Anya’s fingertip zero in, immediately drawing hard rough circles over her clit.

Octavia tried to shout away the sudden, almost sore, sensation, but Anya’s hand over her mouth kept most of the actual sound inside her head. The vibrations from her own moans, combined with the rumble coming from deep within Anya’s chest, was enough to make Octavia feel almost fuzzy at the edges, like she might actually _look_ blurry from the sensation. She was outright shaking by the time Anya leaned in to whisper, “And it is mine, isn’t it?”

Sucking in a gasp though her nose, Octavia nodded in lieu of answering, totally beyond words, but then Anya’s fingers left her clit throbbing against the empty air and she nearly screamed. She felt a little soothed as Anya’s fingers drifted down towards her entrance instead, but Anya’s touch was just dancing around her edges, teasing her, and she felt like screaming all over again. She tried to buck against Anya’s body then, desperate to take Anya inside her, or just force Anya’s fingers back up to her clit, but Anya simply pinned her harder against the wall, and said it again, “Octavia, tell me… is this mine?”

She heard it then; the measured anticipation, mixed with just a hint of hesitation. It was so clear, there was no question in Octavia’s mind as to what Anya really needed. Anya wasn’t seeking ownership, not really, but she did want permission. With the way tension was building inside her, that was a something Octavia was beyond eager to give. She would go anywhere Anya wanted to take her, as long as Anya kept touching her, like that; rough and possessive, but making Octavia feel safe at the same time. She wasn’t sure how to go about giving that permission though, not with Anya’s hand still clamped down over her mouth anyway. She figured if Anya needed to hear her say it, then she would have removed her hand. So, instead of speaking, she met Anya’s desire-filled eyes, and then slowly turned her head; up and to the side, exposing her neck to Anya. She could only hope Anya would take it for what it was, a clear sign of submission.

Anya growled at the display, and Octavia felt her head spin. That possessive sound was definitely the hottest thing she had ever experienced. The second Anya’s fingers slipped inside her, she was ready, her whole-body clenching and arching sharply into the touch. Anya’s pace was harsh right from the start too, but that just made the entire scenario that much more exciting. Anya seemed so out of control that she could only go fast and hard. The fact that Octavia had been caught touching herself added to the thrill too, and while she was embarrassed, she couldn’t spare a single second to think about that then. Anya’s lips were moving again, but between the hard, hammering thrusts, and her heart pounding in her ears, Octavia couldn’t make out the words.

The only thing she got was the way Anya’s lips and tongue formed the word, ‘Mine.’ It was enough to draw another sharp whine from her chest. She couldn’t keep her body from jumping against Anya’s either, and it seemed neither could Anya, Octavia’s hips quickly falling into rhythm with Anya’s hand. It wasn’t long before the rough pad of a thumb found her clit. It pounded against her with every curl of Anya’s fingers, and suddenly Octavia felt like her insides were about to become her outsides. She tried to keep breathing through her nose, but she couldn’t seem to get enough air that way. With Anya’s hand still clamped over her mouth, she found herself desperately licking Anya’s palm trying to find on opening. Anya seemed to understand quickly too, loosening her grip, finally allowing Octavia to breathe, even if only somewhat normally. Anya’s hand didn’t go far though, a warm palm brushing over her skin, moving down.

Arching into the touch, Octavia cried out as Anya’s hand slipped onto her throat, Anya cupping her pulse with her palm. She pressed into the contact, needing something more from Anya, but totally unable to imagine, much less express, what that might be. She felt Anya’s fingers tremble against her skin, but they didn’t squeeze, even though Octavia kind of hoped they would. There was something very intoxicating about the idea of allowing Anya to have that kind of control over her. Just thinking about it, wasn’t nearly as good as feeling it though, and her eyes slipped shut as Anya gently pressed farther forward, slowly cutting off her air-flow. Anya didn’t hold her there for long, three seconds, maybe five; Octavia wasn’t sure, but it was long enough to make her head spin again. If it hadn’t been for Anya’s fingers still plunging inside her, anchoring her, she might have floated off into space, especially considering how light she felt in that moment. It was like every burden she’d ever carried drifted away when Anya took control of her like that, and Octavia quickly found herself desperate for more.

The pace between her thighs increased, as the pressure at her throat swelled again, and Octavia just sank into Anya’s control then, needing that influence over her again. Octavia couldn’t bring herself to worry about when her next breath would be though, not when she could feel a greater pressure building further down. The weight against her throat eased, but Octavia couldn’t breathe, not yet, not when she so close. Her body betrayed her though, gasping in a deep draught, just as Anya’s pace increased yet again.

When she exhaled, a broken whine slipped from her lips at the denial, but she tried to bite it back, not wanting to give Anya any reason to think she might be dissatisfied in any way. This was the most intense thing she’d ever felt in her life, and Anya had already shown her a great many things the night before. She had thought that when they came together again it would be much the same as it was that morning, but this was so much more. She was giving Anya total control, not just of her orgasm, but of her very life. She trusted Anya to know what she was doing, to know when to push and when to release. She trusted Anya to not hurt her, or at least not injure her. She knew that any pain she did feel would only occur to bring her further pleasure. She trusted Anya to take her higher than she’d ever been, because truly, Anya had already done that, in spades.

The pressure in her lower belly became almost unbearable then, as Anya pulled away, only to quickly thrust back inside; this time with three fingers, instead of two. The new stretch burned, and Octavia thought that if she didn’t come soon, she might not be able to when the time came, too overstimulated to actually get there. Anya seemed to read her like an open book however, quickly whispering, “O, show me those gorgeous eyes… can you do that, baby?”

The words were barely loud enough for Octavia to hear them over her own panted breaths, and even hearing her, it took Octavia a long time to comprehend what Anya was asking. Still, she felt like she couldn’t, like if she opened them the moment might break. It wasn’t until Anya’s thumb stopped rubbing against her clit that she finally did as Anya asked. She didn’t dare move her head though, Anya’s hand still at her neck, but she peered up at Anya with the most pleading look she could muster. The fire she found in Anya’s eyes consumed her and her head fell into Anya’s hand, as Anya pressed forward again.

A lot of things happened at once then; her breath stopped, whether it was from Anya’s sudden pressure at the throat, or that Octavia simply didn’t want to breathe anymore, she wasn’t certain. Anya’s thumb found her clit at the same moment too, pressing hard against the swollen nub, even as all three of Anya’s fingers plunged inside her, pressing all the way in to the knuckle. It was total sensory overload, or so Octavia thought, that is, until a moment later, when Anya’s fingers curled harshly inside her, slamming against her front wall over and over. All Octavia could do was gasp as the dam inside her finally broke.

Every muscle in her body contracted and quivered, breaking and convulsing under the raw force of her orgasm. Her knees jerked and twisted, her hips sagged and faltered, and she felt weak like she might fall. In truth, she felt like she was already falling, but then Anya’s body pressed further into her own. The hand at her throat slipped behind her neck to pull her in, while the hand buried inside her shifted to hold some of her weight. The movement caused another shuddering set of contractions, but Octavia’s control over her muscles was so fluid that she couldn’t fight it. The spasming aftershock lingered for several long moments before it eventually passed. Octavia couldn’t do anything but slump against Anya though, thoroughly, and gloriously, spent.

A few minutes passed, Octavia just breathing as she tried to come down, but then Anya shifted a little awkwardly against her. Octavia thought Anya must be getting restless, or just tired of holding her up. She tried to make a more conscious effort to regain consciousness, flexing her toes first and then her ankles, but as she shifted her weight Anya’s fingers shifted inside her. For a second, Octavia thought she was going to come all over again. Anya’s fingers gracefully withdrew though, and Octavia tried, and failed, not to groan at the loss. Anya didn’t leave her exposed for more than a second however, Anya’s hand quickly cupping her sex with her warm palm to appease her discomfort. She sank back into Anya’s embrace once again, only to be startled out of it by Anya’s broken whisper, “Wa-Was that ok? I— I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

It was a long moment before Octavia could even think on how to respond, but ultimately it didn’t matter because all that came out was, “God, Anya, I-I—” before her voice failed her. She swallowed harshly around the lump that was rising in her throat, but she nearly choked on the emotions that Anya’s timid, tender tone evoked, touching her in a way no other person’s words ever had. Eventually, her voice returned to her, slightly stronger than before, but still strained as she said, “That… that was better than ok, ok? I— I said it before, Anya, I… I trust you.”

Anya let out a relieved sigh then and Octavia felt relieved as well, glad that Anya seemed to believe her, especially because it was the truth. She did trust Anya, and she could see it in Anya’s eyes, that Anya trusted her too, even as Anya said, “Good… good.” If the look in Anya’s eyes hadn’t been enough though, the way Anya pressed their lips togther, spoke volumes too. When Anya pulled away, she was breathless all over again. She panted openly, as she watched Anya smile at her, continuing on like she hadn’t been affected by the kiss at all, “Well, what do you think about just getting out of here? Head back to my place? I— I’m not sure I’m up for a fight right now. My arms are kinda tired…” Anya’s smile seemed to turn a little sheepish, but it was only there for a second before she blurted out, “You know, I think I’ve always been more of a fighter than a lover, but maybe… maybe I just needed to find a fighter to turn me into a lover instead.”

Octavia just smiled at Anya’s continued awkward shyness, delighted by the juxtaposition of Anya’s actions to her words. Only moments before Anya had been a force to be reckoned with, but the sweet tone of her words held an honesty in them Octavia hadn’t expected for a moment like that one. The intensity of the words drew a serious tone out in Octavia too, and she replied thoughtfully, “I think— I think I’ve always been a lover, I just didn’t realize that until I met you.” She blushed at the admission, knowing she’d just said more than she really meant to, but she couldn’t regret it, not with the way Anya burrowed in close to the side of her neck and sighed. The ticklish feeling of Anya’s breath flickering across her damp chest caused laughter to bubble out of her chest though, as she added, “But… I also think that all this water is turning me into a prune, so...” She slipped her still shaky arms up around Anya’s neck and pulled down slightly, sighing when her alpha responded instinctually, encircling her waist tightly with both arms. “…maybe you could, uh, carry me back to locker room, so we can get changed. I— I’d walk there myself, but I, uh, I don’t think my legs are working right quite yet.” The sound of Anya’s laughter was like music to her ears, and she went oh-so-willingly when Anya scooped her up into her arms and turned back towards the locker room. Cradled in Anya’s arms, Octavia couldn’t help thinking that maybe, at least with Anya, she could be a lover, and a fighter. In that moment though, she knew that with Anya by her side, she could be just whatever she wanted to be.


	25. The Daydreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, it's been another long week at work, but I'm pleased to say I've got this chapter and the next ready, so this will be one of two posts for today. Also, I've got some time off this week, and I imagine I'll be posting at least a few more chapters over the next five days as well.
> 
> The first chapter is a look at Abby and Raven's evening, and then next we'll see what's going on with Clarke and Lexa.
> 
> Together, these chapters are titled The Daydreams and The Doubts... Just thought I'd point that out, seemed too poetic not to... :)
> 
> Anyway... Enjoy, friends! More to come soon!

When Raven finally skulked her way back downstairs and into the shop, she found Bellamy and Wick both equally displeased with themselves at how they had reacted to her big news. She stomached their apologies, quickly accepting from both of them, before just saying, “Ok, conversation over. Let’s just get back to work.” They both seemed just fine with that and after only a little shuffling around, getting tools together and un-boxing a couple of parts, Raven finally settled in on her creeper and slid underneath that clunker she’d been trying to fix for three days. Really, she’d barely started the job on Sunday before she’d hurt herself, chasing after Abby. Then, she’d managed to get the brakes and suspension done the day before, despite her distractions then too, but when she’d tried to start it up to pull in out of the repair bay, it hadn’t wanted to start. By that point, Wick and Bellamy had both left for the day too, and she’d had her evening with Abby looming over her, so she’d just left it there for the morning.

Since then she had figured out it was the alternator, and while normally that was a simple fix, the sedan had some faulty wiring too that was probably the cause of the alternator going bad in the first place. She had dutifully called the customer and had been totally shocked when he’d said it didn’t matter what it cost, just to fix it. She knew he was already looking at about twelve hundred dollars for the brakes and suspension, but when she’d told him the alternator would set him back another eight hundred at least, he seemed totally unconcerned, simply asking again when she thought it would be done. She’d told him by morning the next day, not expecting to have to deal with Wick and Bellamy both throwing temper tantrums over her bonding with Abby. She thought she’d be lucky to finish by the end of the day at that point.

Now that she had calmed down though, she thought she could understand where Wick and Bellamy had been coming from; Wick was like her older brother, protective and concerned, and she couldn’t be sure, but Bellamy’s anger may have been driven by jealousy. There had never been anything between them, and Raven knew a long time ago that there never would be, but she could feel it sometimes. She could see it in his eyes, like there was something he wanted from her, or something he wanted to ask her. He’d just never actually had the nerve enough to do it.

Trying to put all that out of her mind though, Raven focused on the sedan once again. She pulled things apart, cleaned corroded bits and replaced broken ones, inspected wires and connectors, replacing the obviously damaged ones running between the alternator and the battery terminals. All in all, it didn’t take terribly long to get the old alternator out and the new one in, and once all the wiring was set back right, she lurched out from underneath the car. She grimaced though when she found Wick standing over her with a big smile on his face. He stuck his hand out and she shook her head as she took it with her own. She gasped a little as he pulled her up to her feet, but only because the sudden motion made her head swim. Wick just chuckled as her eyes rolled back in her head, and she heard him say, “Did you eat today?”

She thought about it… She could remember breakfast quite clearly, cheesy eggs and toast and coffee, and Abby, but she wasn’t sure she’d eaten anything since. She vaguely remembered seeing a pack of peanuts from the big, box store stash she kept in the breakroom, but she couldn’t actually remember eating them. She slumped a little at the thought, but thankfully Wick didn’t make her say it, instead ushering her towards the breakroom before pushing her down into a chair. She waited while he made a her a sandwich from the fridge; Turkey and Swiss, Wick’s personal favorite, one that she knew he thought everyone should love. The two flavors had grown on her over the years and when he finally sat the plate down in front of her, bread piled high with turkey and cheese and lettuce, both pieces of bread slathered in mustard, she couldn’t resist, tearing into the sandwich like she hadn’t eaten in days instead of hours.

After the first bite or two though, she felt Wick’s eyes still on her. She looked up at him expecting to find that concern and disbelief from earlier, but instead he was grinning, almost smirking, as he said, “Maybe this alpha can help you remember to take better care of yourself. Lord knows you need the help…”

Pleased at the return of Wick’s playful side, she joked too, “Oh yeah right!” Her still full mouth, meant it didn’t come out quite like that though; the words were muffled, and the sharp consonants dampened, but she could tell by the light in Wick’s eyes that he understood exactly what she meant. Chewing the bite in her mouth and then swallowing, she followed up with, “She’s half the reason I haven’t eaten. Every time I tried to eat today, I, either, got nauseous from the stomach cramps or I got distracted thinking about how great last night was. It’s still kind of hard to believe. I mean… I’m mated… to an alpha whose twice my age, and a doctor no less… Let’s not even talk about the fact that she’s Clarke’s mom.”

Wick’s eyes widened to the size of her sandwich at that, and she suddenly realized that Wick wasn’t exactly aware of that little fact. She stumbled over her thoughts then, trying to figure out how to explain, but his smile stopped her floundering right in its tracks. “That makes so much more sense, why you were so stressed earlier… I just figure you’d gotten drunk and made a mistake, but that didn’t seem right. I get it, now…” Wick rambled on then, but Raven only caught little bits from there. She wasn’t sure if it made it better or worse that Wick just accepted things, when earlier he had been so upset, but the more she thought about it the more sense that made. Earlier, he had thought someone had taken advantage of her, that she hadn’t been able to make them stop because she had been intoxicated, but the only drug she had been on at the time, was Abby’s scent. It had called to her, luring her, drawing her in with each breath. Just the memory of Abby’s scent calmed her too, and she managed to focus, just as Wick said, “So, have you guys talked about kids and stuff?”

That sent another flurry through Raven, because she hadn’t even thought about kids, but with just that first mention, she knew that was something she and Abby would have to talk about, and sooner rather than later. She didn’t want to dump everything she was thinking on Wick though, so she simply replied, “No, not yet… but, I am moving in with her, after we’ve told Clarke, anyway.”

Wick’s smile stayed soft as he replied as well, “I can’t imagine that’s going to be fun. I don’t know Clarke very well, but from what you’ve told me, she seems like a ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ kind of girl.”

Raven shook her head a little, because she wouldn’t put it quite like that, and instead said, “Maybe not quite to that extreme, but when her long fuse finally burns out, you better watch your ass. All sulfur and brimstone after that.”

The soft laugh that earned her, relaxed her, because she felt like they were finally getting back to normal after his tantrum earlier, and she laughed as well, when he said, “Well, you let me know when you’re gonna tell her, just in case I need to seek shelter when the fallout hits.”

Shaking her head again, she said, “Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence,” before effectively ending the conversation, shoving another huge bite of sandwich into her mouth. She watched Wick as his eyes rolled at her childish tactic, but he didn’t say anything about it, just shot her look that said, ‘Good luck, you’re gonna need it,’ before he excused himself to get back to work. Raven finished the sandwich in silence then, her head swimming with things like kids, and weddings, and moving, and nuclear mushroom clouds, and weapons of mass destruction. When she finally realized the sandwich was gone, she dutifully went back to work herself, doing her best to focus despite all the distractions swirling in her mind.

It wasn’t a very long afternoon after that, and at ten minutes after seven, Raven finally pulled into a parking space on Abby’s block. Distracted, she thought, ‘I guess it’s my block too, now,’ as she settled into the driver’s seat to wait for Abby to get home from work. She let her head relax against the headrest, as she allowed herself to daydream a little, imagining what it would be like to relax on _their_ sofa as she waited for Abby to come home instead. She imagined greeting Abby with sweet kisses, hugs that went on too long, touches too intimate to be shared by two people who weren’t absolutely in love with each other. She imagined chatting easily over a homecooked dinner and squabbling playfully over who got the shower first before deciding to just shower together to ‘save water.’ She imagined waking up with a face full of Abby’s hair, Abby’s arm thrown over her belly, Abby protecting her even in her sleep. Letting her mind wander further and further, imaging their content happy faces, eventually she envisioned pudgy, little cheeks with dark, shiny hair and delicate, brown eyes.

Raven’s own eyes flashed open as she suddenly said, “Where did that come from?” She had never once before imagined having kids, even after Wick had brought it up earlier. She’d always said she didn’t want kids, didn’t want the responsibility, the headache. Truthfully, she was afraid; Raven Ariana Reyes was afraid, because deep down, she knew she would be a bad parent. Not having any positive memories of her own mother only reinforced that belief every time she thought about the woman. And yet, here she was, daydreaming about a child with her hair and Abby’s eyes, her tenacious spirit and Abby’s caregiver’s soul. She imagined, first, a girl with that dark hair and shining eyes, and then, a little boy that would follow a few years later, with Abby’s light brown locks, but with her darker skin tone. He would be a heartbreaker from the day he was born. Maybe they would name the girl Rose or Rosa, after her grandmother, who she’d only meet a handful of times, but who had definitely left an impression on Raven as a child. Maybe the boy could be named Jacob, after Jake, who would always be a part of Abby, which in turn, made him a part of Raven too.

It was such a dangerous dream though, because while Raven wasn’t sure whether she wanted kids, she and Abby hadn’t talked about it at all. They hadn’t talked about a lot of things actually, like she didn’t even know if Abby was open to the idea of having more children. As it was now, Raven knew Abby would be in her late sixties by the time their first child would be heading off to college, let alone a second. The age difference between them hadn’t seemed like that big of a deal when it was just the two of them but adding a child or two into the mix made that gap seem like it was expanding wider and wider the longer Raven thought about it. She slammed her eyes shut, trying to un-see the things she had seen, already fighting back tears, but she couldn’t keep her first inkling of regret about mating with Abby at bay. If they were, in fact, phased together, then there was nothing they could have done about what happened, short of not putting themselves in that situation to begin with, but it was done and now here they were. Well, here she was anyway, racked with worry and fear and guilt, all over something she wasn’t even sure was a problem to begin with.

There was a light tapping sound on the window and Raven thought, ‘Great, and now it’s raining, too.’ She slumped back in her seat, eyes still closed, trying to calm herself down, trying not to let her one moment of regret grow into something that she couldn’t control. If it got too big, she wasn’t sure it was something she could live with. She pictured Abby’s face then; the way her smile shined when she laughed, the way the delicate lines around her eyes crinkled when she was worried, the way the ones across her forehead scrunched when she was deep in thought, the way all her features finally relaxed after a blissfully powerful orgasm. The tapping on the window continued, and Raven figured the rain was just picking up in intensity instead of slacking off, especially if the rising rate and volume of it against the car window was any indication. She huffed, dreading having to trudge up the stairs to Abby’s townhouse in the pouring rain. “It wasn’t even supposed to rain today,” she said to no one, as she clenched her fists in her lap, praying it would just stop.

Then Raven heard, “It wasn’t, and it isn’t,” muffled and quiet, but it was there. Her eyes snapped open, flashing around until they landed on Abby, standing maybe a foot away from the driver’s door, arms folded over her chest, a worried smile stretched across her face. Raven felt so relieved to see her, like the knot that had been tied up inside her stomach all day disappeared in an instant. Beyond eager to finally be in Abby’s arms again, Raven whipped the keys out the ignition, jerked her bag into her lap from the passenger’s seat and scrambled to get herself, and her keys and bag, all out of her truck in one go.

 

~~~

 

By the late afternoon, Abby felt absolutely bone weary. Two surgeries back to back was enough to wear her out on a good day, but combined that with her constant cramps, and she felt like she could barely stand upright. She was surprised she could even stand at the sink to wash her hands, but then two of her co-workers passed through the room, whispering to each other as they went. It wasn’t hard to get herself moving after that. She needed a break, not just from the operating room, but from people in general. She’d hoped that her coworkers would mind their own business, but the news of her new mating mark had spread like wildfire. She’d had more than ten people just ask her about it outright, and she’d heard people whispering more than a few times that day too.

Needing an escape from prying eyes, Abby simply snuck off to her office then, hoping for just a few minutes of peace and quiet before she had to get back to it. She only had one more surgery scheduled, but it was a long one; at least two, maybe three hours. It was the re-scheduled appendectomy from the day before too, so it wasn’t like she could put it off because she was tired. Honestly, she figured most people would rather be operated on by someone fresh and awake. It wasn’t that she thought she’d make a mistake or anything, but it was a risk that she just didn’t think she would take if she was the patient. As she settled in at her desk, she tried not to think about why she’d had to re-schedule that appendectomy, but it was like that metaphorical eight-hundred-pound gorilla standing in the middle of the room. With the way it loomed over her, she couldn’t not think about it.

Instead of feeling guilt and regret though, all she could feel was sorrow. She knew Senator Wallace had a son; she’d met him, and he had aides and employees, people who depended on him for their lives, as well as their livelihoods. So, not only had Cage Wallace lost his father, but probably twenty-five or thirty people were unemployed as a result of Senator Wallace’s death as well. It hadn’t even crossed her mind what his vacant Senate seat would mean for his home state, and the nation as a whole. Struck by that thought, Abby winced, already feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t stand the thought that she could have caused a ripple that wide, with just one cut of her scalpel.

A sharp rap at her office door snapped her head up, and for just a second, she thought about shouting, ‘GO AWAY!’ She knew she couldn’t do that though, no matter how much she wanted to, so instead she heaved a heavy sigh, and quietly said, “Come in.”

Nurse McIntyre peeked in through the door then, and Abby immediately noticed how nervous she looked. Her voice was just as timid too, as she pulled herself through the door and said, “I’m sorry to be bothering you, Doctor Griffin…” Abby could only nod, not trusting herself not to say something that she might regret. Her prep-nurse was obviously nervous enough without Abby biting her head off. The nod seemed to reassure Nurse McIntyre somewhat, and a moment later, Abby heard her sigh before she said, “Well… I know this is probably none of my business, but… are— are you alright?”

The question kind of caught Abby off guard. She’d been expecting something more like, ‘Who’s the lucky fella?’ but the way her nurse said it made Abby think there was more there than just simple concern. She tried to keep her smile friendly, if a little impassive, as she replied, “Yes, I’m alright… I suppose I’m still a little shaken up about yesterday, but I’ll get through it. The Senator wasn’t my first loss, you know?”

Nurse McIntyre, Harper, if Abby remembered correctly, just smiled at her for a moment, but then it seemed like her nerves peaked right before Abby’s eyes as she blurted out, “Oh! I— I was more talking about that…” At least, Harper didn’t point at her; for that Abby could be thankful, but that feeling didn’t stop her from grimacing as she watched Harper lift her hand to tap the side of her own neck. The reaction seemed to spur Harper on too, and she began to ramble, “… because, you know… I know Anya, well sort of know her, and I know she knows you and I don’t even know why I’m in here asking you this, but did… I mean, did someone— you know?”

Abby felt like she was listening to a staticky radio station with how Harper’s words translated into her ears, but as she put all the pieces together, she realized the girl was asking her if she was _alright._ Harper was checking on her to make sure someone hadn’t marked her without her consent. Obviously, she was trying to justify her concern, by associating them via Anya, but Abby knew what kind of _friend_ Anya was with omegas Harper’s age. It was obvious that Anya felt differently about Octavia, but any _relationships_ Anya had had before that, tended to be short-lived. They didn’t usually lead to holding hands and skipping down the street. That was neither here nor there at the moment though, as Harper interrupted her thoughts, saying, “Like I said, definitely none of my business, but if someone did this to you against your will, you have rights… You have support, too.”

Harper quickly crossed the room, and for a second Abby, was too dumbstruck to even glance at the grimy business card clutched tightly in Harper’s hand. It didn’t take much to snap Abby out it though, her eyes jumping to the movement as the card thrusted out in front of her face. She could tell Harper was about to start to ramble again though, so she quickly reached out for her hand, gripping lightly onto Harper’s still closed fist as she said, “Why don’t you have a seat for a minute, Harper, so we can chat? I can call you Harper, right?”

The quiet, “Yes, Ma’am,” Abby got in response, while polite, just wouldn’t do, so she quickly said, “And… you can call me Abby, at least behind closed doors… Like you say, we’re practically friends, we should be on friendly terms, right?”

A smile lit up Harper’s face at that, and Abby nearly sighed as she watched the girl relax into one of her visitor’s chairs. Harper still looked a little nervous, and Abby was dying to figure out what that was about, but she decided to put Harper’s mind at ease about herself first, and then see if Harper would open up to her. It was a technique she had used for years in Group and it worked almost every time. It wasn’t that Abby was trying to trick her into talking, but she could definitely tell Harper needed someone to talk to, or at least someone to listen. She figured she was probably a better candidate than most people Harper could have chosen to talk to. Trying to keep her voice soft and even was key as she said, “Harper, while I appreciate your concern, it isn’t necessary… I believe my partner and I are phased. Our bonding was sudden, of course… but we’re both committed to making it work. She’s even moving in with me, once we get a few things settled… It wasn’t something either one of us was looking for, but now that we’re together, I can barely remember what life was like without her.”

Cutting herself off before she could get any mushier, Abby waited and watched as her words sunk into Harper sitting across form her. The smile that spread across Harper lips then, was both sweet and knowing, and Abby easily returned it, that is, until Harper finally responded, “I— I guess I shouldn’t’ve made assumptions. I don’t know why that’s immediately where my brain went. Well… I guess I do know but that’s not your problem… Anyway, I’m sorry for barging in here. I’ll just show myself out then.”

Stopping Harper before she could even get up, Abby said, “Harper, you don’t have to apologize for showing concern for someone else, even when you barely know each other. It was actually very brave of you to come here and ask questions. Most people are too busy gossiping behind my back to show any concern for my wellbeing.” Harper chuckled at that, and Abby wondered what it was that people were saying about her that made Harper laugh like that, but she quickly decided she was probably better off not knowing and just said, “Thank you,” instead.

“Your Welcome, Ma— I mean, Abby… It’s just, I know that sometimes its hard to come forward when someone takes advantage of you. I wanted to make sure you knew you weren’t alone, if that was what happened,” Harper replied, somewhat shakily, and for the briefest of moments Abby thought that someone had taken advantage of Harper like that, but then Harper went on to explain, “My sister didn’t think she could tell anyone… That bastard got away with it because she was too scared to tell anyone what happened.” Abby could hear the hurt in Harper’s words, clear as day, and while she thought there was probably more to the story, she didn’t push. She knew that if Harper wanted to tell her, she would, and if she didn’t, she wouldn’t. It would only make things worse if she pushed. Still, she was almost disappointed when Harper simply choked back the emotion straining in her voice and said, “Well, I… I won’t take up anymore of your time. I’ll see you in the OR in thirty, ok?”

Instead of letting the slight rejection get to her, Abby just nodded, and Harper started to get up. Abby didn’t let her get far though before she said, “Harper, why were you so nervous when you first walked in here? Was it because of what you were going to ask me? Or was it something else?”

Harper turned back when she got to the door, and Abby saw a flash of that nervousness back in her features, but smiled when Harper simply said, “Well, if I’m being honest, Ma— Sorry… If I’m being honest, Abby… You’re kinda like my hero.” That was definitely not what Abby had been expecting to hear, but as Harper continued, she understood, “I wanted to be a surgeon, like you, but Med school is expensive… so, I settled for being a nurse. I figured if I couldn’t be like you, at least as a nurse, I could still be helpful.”

Feeling like that was probably the bravest thing Harper had said since she walked in, Abby quickly made a decision, all-but blurting it out as she said, “You know, if money is the only issue, there are quite a few grants out there to help out with that. If you decide to pursue any of them and you need a letter of recommendation, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’d be happy to write a good one for you.”

The look on Harper’s face flipped on a dime; one second nervous and unsure, the next all smiles and cheer. It made Abby feel good to see that smile, especially when Harper replied happily, “I may just take you up on that,” before letting herself out.

The rest of the afternoon seemed kind of lack-luster in comparison to that happy moment. The appendectomy went as planned, no surprises or complications, a simple snip and stitch kind of job. Nurse McIntyre was there of course, polite and respectful, but that was just another thing that Abby appreciated about the girl. Her ability to act like their little heart to heart had never happened was refreshing. Abby knew too many people that liked to think that they could socialize while they were elbow deep in a bowel resection or a stint placement, but Harper conducted herself in only the most professional of manners when they were inside the operating room. She did catch a little smile that crossed Harper’s lips, and of course, she returned it, but that was the extent of their personal exchanges. Abby actually found herself respecting Harper all the more because of it.

Despite the ease of her third surgery, her separation cramps were a different story. The closer she got to home, and the closer she got to being with Raven again, the more she seemed to notice them. Which was how she found herself, waiting in the car, grumbling at the constant fluttering of her insides, when a big pick-up truck finally turned on to her street. She was kind of amazed at how quickly the cramps in her stomach dissipated as she watched Raven pull up and park a couple cars behind her. ‘Of course, she drives a beat-up, old truck,’ Abby thought when the headlights finally turned off, making it easier to see for sure that the occupant of the truck was in fact Raven. She smiled as Raven relaxed into the driver’s seat, realizing quickly that Raven didn’t know she was right there in front of her. She couldn’t see Raven as clearly as she wanted to, through her rear-view mirror in the waning light of the evening, but she could tell Raven was daydreaming, a sweet soft look seeping into Raven’s features. She could feel the contentment and peace spreading out from Raven too, covering her like a blanket, enveloping her in a warm, fuzzy feeling. She concentrated on simply feeling Raven’s feelings, whilst watching the emotions dance across her mate’s face. Her eyes slipped closed as she lost herself in the waves of happiness spilling into her from Raven.

A sudden spike of anxiety rippled through her though, and as the dam gave way she was swamped in a flood of worry. She was already pulling her things together before she had even told her body to start moving. By the time she actually got out of the car though, it was almost completely dark on the street, save for the pale amber glow of a street light down the block. She could just make out Raven’s frozen form as she approached the truck. She wanted to call out, wanted to alert Raven to her presence, but she was scared, scared she would do or say the wrong thing and only make whatever was plaguing Raven’s daydreams worse. She knew she had to do something though, because she could feel Raven’s fears quickly transforming into a twisted sense of regret and shame. It didn’t take long for her to realize Raven was sinking deeper and deeper into herself under the weight. For a brief moment, Abby thought Raven was going to fight back against her feelings, sensing a sort of hope, but the smile that eventually graced Raven’s lips was bittersweet, and it hurt Abby to feel that kind of sorrow clouding her mate’s mind.

Abby couldn’t wait anymore, she couldn’t let this self-loathing and suffering go on, so she tapped lightly on the window, hoping she wouldn’t end up scaring the bejesus out of Raven in the process of getting her attention. Raven didn’t even respond though, didn’t open her eyes, didn’t even flinch, just slumped further into her seat, shaking her head. Abby waited a moment and then tapped a little harder and a little faster, thinking maybe she hadn’t made as much noise as she thought she had. Raven called out, eyes still closed, barking something about the rain and Abby chuckled a little as she stepped back, giving Raven a little room so she didn’t startle her too badly as she loudly said, “It wasn’t, and it isn’t.”

It was almost comical how Raven struggled to get herself and her stuff out of the truck in one piece then, and in fact, Abby had to stifle a laugh when Raven nearly fell right out the truck and onto the pavement. Somehow, Raven had ensnared her arm in the seat belt, but Abby managed to catch her, sighing in relief as Raven fell, unharmed, right into her arms. She held tight to Raven then, hoping she could comfort her mate. She just needed to figure out what was bothering Raven so badly and then do her level best to help Raven fix it; or at least be able to live with it, if it was something that couldn’t be fixed.

 

~~~

 

Raven crashed the moment Abby’s arms wrapped around her, she couldn’t help it; tears she’d been fighting off, falling freely right there on the street. Abby mumbled little reassurances in her ear as Abby escorted her inside, but Raven couldn’t even look at her, a wave of fresh guilt washing over her, guilt for regretting this, the inevitability of this, for even just a single moment. She could feel herself crumbling, she just hoped when she told Abby how she felt and why she felt that way, that Abby would let her stay long enough for her to get her shit together before Abby pushed her away, because that’s what everyone who’s ever loved her has done.

First, it was her father, an alpha who her mother had said was perfect until she found out she was going to be a father. Then it was her mother herself, drinking and screwing herself into oblivion just to forget about her own pain, to forget about the fact that her mate was gone, not dead, just gone. And, then, it had been Finn. Finn had been the worst, a liar and cheat. He’d tried the whole ‘I wasn’t lying, I just didn’t tell you,’ approach to her finding out about his other girlfriend, one Clarke Griffin. She hadn’t known what was going to happen at the time, but when she found out that Finn was even sharing an apartment with this girl, she hadn’t been able to stop herself. She’d gone over to their place with every intention of confronting this _other woman,_ only to find out that Clarke didn’t have any idea Raven had been seeing Finn for almost two years.

Clarke had quickly explained that she really had just needed a place to crash for the summer because she couldn’t stay in the dorms and she didn’t really have anywhere else to go. Raven knew that feeling all too feel and one thing lead to another, and by the time Finn busted in on them an hour later, Raven had already offered for Clarke to come stay with her until she figured out what she was going to do. She had always felt like that moment had been special, like she had finally taken some of her power back.

The moment Finn had come through that door, she’d fixed him with this look that clearly said, ‘Say something, I dare you.’ He did, of course, and Raven hadn’t hesitated to let him have it either. She could remember it, screaming at him, “I expected better than this from you, Finn. You’re a beta, for Christ’s sake, not some dumb knothead who only thinks with their dick, but I guess apparently, I was wrong. And, you had to bring Clarke into this too… God, I am so glad I never let you knock me up…” The look of Finn’s face then had been worth every moment of headache and heartache, as she’d said, “Now if you’ll excuse us, I’m taking Clarke with me. She’s not staying here another minute with someone like you.” Raven had felt a surge of absolute pride when he pleaded with Clarke for her not to leave and she simply spit right in his face. That had been the end of Raven and Finn, and Clarke and Finn. What Raven hadn’t realized at the time, was that night wasn’t just the beginning of her friendship with Clarke; it was also the very beginning of her and Abby.

And, there was Abby, caring for her, cradling her against her side as they made their way slowly up the stairs of the stoop and on into the townhouse, all the while squeezing her side intermittently, whispering words like, “Let’s just get you inside,” and “Don’t worry, I’m here.” Raven still blubbered the whole way, unable to stop herself, because while Abby’s words and tone were comforting, she still couldn’t shake the idea of Abby pushing her away. She couldn’t shake it even when Abby settled in on the couch beside her and whispered, “Raven, it’s ok… Just get it all out…”

Raven absolutely sobbed for a few minutes, but eventually her throat felt so constricted that no more sound would come out. Still, she just couldn’t stop. Every time she thought she was getting control over herself, another little, wiggling worm of guilt or regret or fear would wrench away her barely won control and plunge her right back down the spiral. Abby was trying to help, still murmuring to her with soft words, in even softer tones, but she just couldn’t comprehend how Abby could be ok with how she was feeling and why. Raven dreaded more than anything having to explain what brought all this on. The mere thought racking her body up with fresh shivers and shakes.

When Abby moved to pull her in close, Raven flinched for a second before Abby’s arms enveloped her in warmth. Abby’s words filled her head then as Abby whispered, “Is this ok?” She couldn’t respond, not with words anyway, but she couldn’t stomach the idea of Abby letting her go, not yet. She needed Abby to hold her together until her could manage the feat on her own. She snuggled into Abby’s embrace a little deeper and just tried to breathe. She felt Abby’s lips press into her hair then, and she almost started crying a whole new flood, but the tender words that followed, made her pause. “Do you want to talk about it?” was all Abby said, but the way Abby said it was different. It wasn’t ‘Do you wanna talk about it or else…’ It was an invitation, not a demand and that subtle shift, made all the difference.

Abby was right there, holding her in a loving embrace, asking if she wanted to talk, and for a moment, Raven’s only hesitation was where to begin. She almost just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, but when she opened her mouth, she realized her throat was too sore and dry to actually make words. She managed to croak out a shaky request for, “Wa-ter?” and smiled as Abby quickly shuffled off the couch to fetch her some from the kitchen.

Thankfully, Abby was only gone a second, handing her a glass of water, before settling on the sofa again. Raven took a couple of grateful swallows and then set the half-full glass on the coffee table for safe keeping as she was sure she’d want more in a minute. As she was leaning forward though, she felt Abby shift closer and nuzzle into the side her neck. She smiled at the ticklish feeling of Abby’s breath on her skin, purring ever so slightly at the sensation as well. It was such a relaxing feeling, just having Abby there, breathing against her skin, and the words were out of her mouth before she even really thought about them, “Do you want more kids?”

She felt Abby stiffen against her neck and instantly knew what Abby was going to say, that she didn’t, but Abby managed to surprise her instead, quickly saying, “I don’t need more kids, Raven, but if you want some, I am more than open to the idea.”

“I think I might, bu-but what if…” Raven said, her voice choking off again, her throat tightening as she thought the words she couldn’t make come out, ‘but what if I’m a bad mother?’ The thought had her fighting off a wave of fresh tears.

Abby was still right there though, comforting her and begging her at the same time, as she asked, “What if what, honey?”

Again, Raven didn’t feel like it was a demand, it was just a request to be let in and she couldn’t fight the tears anymore as she quietly admitted, “What if I’m a terrible mother? What if I screw up our kids the way my mom screwed me up? What if I ruin them?”

It was quiet for just the briefest of seconds before Raven felt Abby say, “Oh Raven,” against her neck. Abby’s arms wrap around her again too, and Raven allowed herself to be pulled back onto the couch as she listened to Abby continue, “You won’t be a bad mother. You care far too much for that to happen… Think about it this way, your worries about being a bad mother, are exactly the thing that will keep you from being just that. You care… maybe too much. When we have kids, you’ll be good with them, because you’ll want them to be good, to be happy and healthy and safe. Half the battle of being a good parent is caring…” Abby paused then, and Raven could feel there was more, so she waited until Abby continued, “The other half is patience, which comes and goes, depending on things like if they sleep through the night at three months or if it takes a year before they’re down for more than a couple hours at a time, or if they gripe and complain about doing homework or chores all the time or not. Raising kids isn’t a science Raven, it’s an art form, one that not everyone is good at, but when you care it makes all the difference.”

Feeling herself sink further and further into Abby reassuring words, Raven began to relax. She appreciated Abby’s words even more because she could tell Abby’s wisdom came from experience. These were things Abby had obviously worried about with Clarke, and while Raven knew that it wouldn’t be easy, she felt better knowing that raising a child wasn’t something that she’d have to do alone, like her mother had tried to do. That really started to sink in right around the time Abby said, ‘When _we_ have kids,’ and by the time Abby was done talking, Raven felt ten times lighter.

Raven shifted slightly in Abby’s embrace then, tucking her face into Abby’s that time. The second her eyes were closed she found herself imagining those little faces again, and she quietly said, “I— I bet we’ll have a girl first, an alpha, with my hair and your eyes, maybe name her after my grandmother. And then the little omega boy that comes after… He’ll have your hair, but my skin. Maybe we’d name him Jacob, after Jake, because he’s a part of us both now, too.” As Raven admitted her daydream out loud, the images of her babies running around the house, barking and laughing and teasing each other, flashed through her mind. She thought of how protective Rose would be over Jacob, guarding her little brother against bullies on the playground or keeping him safe from strangers as they walked back and forth from school together. She imagined how little Rose would grow up to be so much like Abby, strong but soft, and how she and Abby would gang up on Jacob’s prospective high school dates. The vision was simply heart-warming, and she felt her fears drifting away like they’d never been there at all, because now that she knew where Abby stood, those visions could come true.

 

~~~

 

Abby almost cried herself when Raven spoke about what she thought their children would look like, imagining the four of them playing in the park on sunny Saturdays or going to the movies on rainy Sundays. She wanted that so badly now that she’d seen what Raven had seen, but she also needed Raven to know what this all would mean to her. She knew she wouldn’t get through this without crying, but half of Raven’s anxiety seemed to be stemming from her fear of the unknown variables between them. She knew the only way to fix that was to share, so when Raven grew quiet, obviously losing herself to her own daydreams again, Abby began softly, “Two sounds good to me, though I wouldn’t necessarily rule out three if the first two are girls… I always wanted a little boy, a son, a little brother for Clarke, but—” The words dried up like a desert in her mouth and she couldn’t continue right away. She swallowed a few times, grateful that Raven could tell she had more to say. Once she thought she could continue, she croaked, “But, that… that didn’t happen. We tried. We did, but little Jake Jr. and Joseph didn’t make it past the week 26 of my pregnancy… I— I remember every moment of that day. I was on bed rest for my blood pressure and Jake had just left for work. Clarke, oh Clarke, she was barely four, not even in school yet. She was cuddling in bed with me when I got this cramp, low in my belly and I just knew something was wrong. I—”

Abby’s voice simply gave out, and she worried she would never get it back, but as Raven snuggled deeper into her arms, whirring softly, she felt herself start to strengthen. She appreciated Raven’s loaned strength probably more than Raven knew, and she pressed a soft kiss to Raven’s forehead before continuing in a husky whisper, “Clarke, she was so good that day, so brave. She called 911 all by herself and stayed on the phone with them until the ambulance got there. She rode in the back with me and held my hand as she said, ‘You… you’ll be ok, Mommy. I just know you will, Joe and Jake too. I… I-I just know it.’ But... but Clarke was wrong. B-by the time we got to the hospital it… it was too late.” Abby let that lie for just a moment, but she knew that wasn’t all of it, so she grimaced, pushing on in a whisper, “we… we didn’t try again after that. Jake didn’t want to, and even though I did, we just… didn’t.”

Raven’s arm pulled her in even tighter as she spoke, and Abby let herself be strengthened further by the embrace. It felt oddly good to talk about it; it felt oddly good to talk to Raven about it. She was wrapped up in the feeling of Raven’s breath on her throat that she almost missed it when Raven started whispering, “Abby, I’m sorry you had to go through that. And— and I’m sorry I was freaking out earlier. I… I got really hung up on the idea that I didn’t know whether you wanted kids or not and then I was freaking out about how we really don’t much about each other at all, and then I was freaking out because maybe, for just a half a second, I regretted this, about how this happened and I… I feel so guilty for regretting us, Abby, and I just… I just panicked and then I couldn’t stop panicking, and I—”

Despite how cute Raven’s rambling could be, Abby could feel Raven’s anxiety spiking hotly against her skin, so she cut Raven off the only way she knew how, with a kiss. Raven tried to keep apologizing, but instead of letting her, Abby simply drew Raven’s bottom lip into her mouth and sucked on it. Raven stopped protesting after that, moaning instead, pressing closer for more, but Abby simply let go, to whisper against her lips, “Raven, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Their noses knocked as Raven looked down, face dropping, and Abby could still feel the shame radiating off Raven. The ache it was causing in her chest drove her on, “Raven, listen to me, I know how you feel. I wish I had gotten a chance to get to know you better and you, I, before we got to this point in our relationship. Hell, if we ever got to this point.” She pulled back from Raven slightly then, to make sure their eyes met as she added, “But, that doesn’t change that we are here, together. There’s going to be a learning curve and things might get hard sometimes, but we’ll get through it, because we… we have each other now, even if we have no one else.”

It seemed she was finally getting through to Raven then, her mate relaxing a little in her arms. Abby just snuggled closer, bringing her head to rest of Raven’s chest. She sighed as Raven’s lips met the top of her head and stayed there. In the silence that followed, Abby thought she heard something strange in Raven’s heartbeat. Maybe strange wasn’t the right way to describe it; it was simply irregular. She thought that maybe it was just Raven’s anxiety causing her heart to beat frantically, but after a few moments, Abby realized there was a certain regular quality to the irregularity. Raven’s huffed laughter interrupted her ability to hear the sound though, and she sighed as Raven said, “Everything alright down there, Doc? The way you’re listening to my heartbeat, I can’t help thinking there’s something wrong in there.”

The sound came back when Raven got quiet again, and Abby finally realized what it was; it was a sound she had heard many times over her career, a heart murmur. It probably wasn’t anything to worry about and Abby tried to make it sound as such as she casually replied, “I think you have a heart murmur, actually. It’s slight, but it’s there.”

“What?” Raven exclaimed unexpectedly, and Abby had to struggle to keep Raven from falling off her lap as she jerked away.

Guessing that she hadn’t made it sound casual at all, Abby decided to have a closer listen, if Raven would let her anyway. She gripped at Raven’s waist as she urged her to shift out of her lap, saying simply, “I think you might have a heart murmur. Can I have a listen? Then we’ll know for sure, ok?”

With Raven settled back on to the couch, Abby got up and hustled over to her work bag for her stethoscope. When she returned to the couch, she slid the ear pieces into Raven’s ears and then positioned the receiving end on Raven’s chest right where she thought she had heard it; just the slightest of whooshing sounds after every set of thumps. She told Raven what to listen for and Raven nodded, her brow furrowed in concentration. It was the most adorable expression Abby had ever seen, that is, until Raven’s eyes widened with alarm and she muttered, “A-abs, am I— Am I ok?”

Abby smiled despite Raven’s obvious anxiety and simply said, “Can I?” gesturing to the stethoscope. Raven quickly whipped the listening device out of her ears and Abby had to fight down a laugh as Raven unceremoniously shoved it into her hands. She slipped the ear pieces into her own ears and positioned the listening end again. Raven started to try to say something then, but Abby just moved her hand up to brush Raven’s bottom lip, smiling at the way Raven’s heart rate rose at her touch. With Raven quiet and still, she concentrated on the thump, thump, shh, thump, thump, shh, for a minute or more, moving the listening end of the stethoscope around, listening for any subtle changes in the sound. It was just as consistent as Raven’s heartbeat itself, indicating an innocent murmur, like she had thought, nothing to worry about, but she breathed a sigh of relief anyway, thankful for small favors.

She didn’t say anything for a long time, just listening to Raven… live, but eventually Raven squirmed under her touch and Abby looked up just in time for Raven to say, “So, I’m dying aren’t I, Doc?”

Raven’s expression belied her unease though, so Abby pulled the stethoscope from her ears as she said, “Not for a long time, if I have anything to say about it.” She quickly slid the stethoscope onto the coffee table, deciding that, in that moment, it was much more important to stay with Raven rather than put it away immediately. She settled in beside Raven again, only to have Raven clamber into her arms, right back up into her lap. They sat there for a moment or two before Abby felt compelled to add, “And… speaking of time, we have tons of time to talk about kids, and how many we want, and what their names will be. We, uh, we’ll have to wait for your heat before we could even conceive anyway, so there’s no… there’s no rush. I— I don’t want there to be any more rushing when it comes to us, ok?”

“Yeah, me too. I want that, too,” Raven said softly, sighing as she brought her head to rest on Abby’s shoulder, slumping a little into Abby’s arms. “I wouldn’t mind if we rushed into some food though,” she added with a laugh when her stomach rumbled.

Abby laughed right along with her, taken by how quickly Raven’s mood could shift, but she decided she would take some of their fun banter after the last few minutes, smiling as she replied, “Sounds good to me. I’ll cook if you want or we could order out again, your choice.”

She felt Raven smile against the side of her neck before Raven eventually pulled back and said, “We should order out, that way we can cuddle on the couch while somebody else does the cooking and the cleaning.”

“Sounds perfect,” Abby replied, hugging Raven a little tighter, before shuffling Raven out of her lap once again, but this time to go get the take-out menus.


	26. The Doubts

The dim glimmer from the streetlights was still shining in through the window of the bedroom when Lexa woke up. That fact didn’t really give her any indication of what time it was though, because at that point she couldn’t be sure it if was late at night or early morning. Her internal clock was definitely messed up. The last three days, Clarke’s heat had dictated when they were awake and when they were asleep. It wasn’t like Lexa was complaining, per se, she just couldn’t help thinking that something had changed, things seemed different. Normally, it was Clarke that woke her, not the other way around; even that morning, when Lexa had decided to make Clarke breakfast in bed, it had been Clarke’s growling stomach that had woken her up in the first place. Not that the ‘breakfast in bed’ part had worked out too well, but she figured it was what happened after that had been really worth the effort. The image of Clarke, face down on the hard surface of the kitchen table, lifting her hips in the air and wiggling them suggestively, was pretty much burned into Lexa’s mind for the rest of time.

Clarke shifted in her sleep then, and Lexa thought for a second that she was waking up, but Clarke just snuggled in closer to her and settled once again. Lexa took the opportunity to slip an arm over Clarke’s waist, trying to get more comfortable herself, but Clarke’s new proximity had Lexa noticing other things that were different. Clarke’s skin wasn’t nearly as sweaty as it had been over the last couple of days. The overall temperature of her skin was different, too, cooler, almost clammy. She hoped Clarke wasn’t coming down with a cold or something. She leaned in slightly, trying to get a better whiff of Clarke’s scent and that’s when she connected the dots. That’s where the biggest change was; she had to lean in to smell Clarke. Clarke’s scent had been everywhere when she had fallen asleep, thick and sweet and all encompassing, but now, Lexa had to search for it, and the loss almost made her whine.

She could make only one logical conclusion from there; Clarke’s heat was waning, almost gone in fact, and that realization made her sigh conflictedly. Now that their interactions wouldn’t be driven by instincts and hormones and pheromones, she wasn’t sure what to expect. She wondered if Clarke’s feelings towards her would change once her heat was totally gone. Just the thought of Clarke looking at her differently had agita rising in her chest, mostly because Lexa knew she would in fact be different. Clarke’s heat slipping away meant her anatomy was going to revert back to its natural state, at least until Clarke’s next heat, in another three months, and while most people these days were pretty progressive about it, she couldn’t help but to worry that she wouldn’t be able to be what Clarke needed anymore.

She’d never had sex with anyone else, other than Costia anyway, and even then, it had mostly only been when Costia herself had been in heat. The first few times she and Costia had tried to have sex outside of Costia’s heat, Lexa had gotten there, so to speak, but Costia never had. It was a bone of contention in their relationship for a while, until Costia had finally admitted that she needed more, that she needed something inside her to come. Lexa had been upset, obviously, but ultimately, Costia had talked her into trying a prosthetic and harness. That had definitely worked for Costia, but Lexa found that she had a really hard time _getting there_ after that. She never said anything about it, just faked it as best she could, because she had loved making Costia feel good. The idea that she wouldn’t be able to please Clarke anymore really began to weigh on her though. She wanted to be good enough for Clarke, to just be enough in general.

It wasn’t just about Costia either. Lexa knew Clarke’s last long-term relationship had been with a beta boy named Finn, and while they hadn’t talked about him at any great length, the little that Lexa did know about him told her they were different in every way. When he and Clarke had been together, he had been a junior-year Business Major with a promising future, biding his time before taking over his father’s Fortune-500. That was just about as opposite as it could get from Lexa herself, who spent the first two years of college eating ramen in her room with Costia, because neither one of them could afford a college meal plan. Even after college, it wasn’t until Lexa had sold that first sample, that she and Costia had more than just a roof over their heads. Finn could have given Clarke anything she wanted, and while Lexa knew she would try to do the same, she was sure she would never measure up to Finn, at least in that way.

She hated that she even felt the need to compare them, Clarke to Costia, and Finn to herself, but there were just so many differences, it was hard not to; Clarke was blonde haired, and blue-eyed, with a doctor for a mother and Costia had been the daughter of a baker, with deep caramel skin and almost no hair at all. Finn was a rich, beta male, probably with the world at his fingertips, and Lexa was a female alpha, with a couple of residuals keeping her afloat, but for how long, she couldn’t even be sure. She worried that not only would she not be enough for Clarke in the bedroom, but she just wouldn’t, couldn’t, be enough for Clarke at all. Those worries compounded too, when she realized that she was making assumptions about the nature of their relationship before she and Clarke had even talked about what was going to happen after Clarke’s heat. Lexa wanted to keep seeing Clarke; she felt things for Clarke she’d never felt before, but what if the changes to her body, and her psyche, ended up driving Clarke away? What if Clarke didn’t actually love her? What if Clarke didn’t even like her, once she got to really know her?

Trying not to drown in her worry, Lexa simply laid beside Clarke and watched her sleep for a while, hoping she could calm herself down before Clarke eventually awoke. She concentrated on Clarke’s breathing. It was steady and regular, and that helped; Lexa trying to match the rhythm, feeling a little better once they were finally in sync. She smiled as she watched Clarke’s eyes move under their lids for just a few moments before stilling again. She wondered what Clarke was dreaming about, whether it was a good dream or a bad dream. At least she knew Clarke’s dreams weren’t nightmares, having had to wake Clarke up, at least twice in as many nights, because Clarke was kicking and whimpering in her sleep. Lexa had done her best to reassure Clarke each time, whispering words of comfort, like “It’s ok. I’m here. You’re safe.” Clarke had said it wasn’t a big deal, that she had nightmares sometimes, but Lexa could see the hurt and fear in her eyes and hoped that one day Clarke would be comfortable enough to share her nightmares as well as her dreams.

Eventually, Clarke cooed in her sleep, stirring and shifting, and a light shiver ran down Lexa’s spine. It seemed Lexa was stirring as well. She sighed as she felt her shaft swelling and hardening. Somehow, she knew it was going to the last time of Clarke’s heat, that after this, things would change, whether she wanted them to or not. Her doubts tried to swell to the surface again, but she willed herself to feel confident and hopeful instead. She wasn’t going to allow herself to dwell on things she couldn’t control anymore, not when she had Clarke still here, wrapped in her arms, and especially not when she could sense Clarke’s delicate scent flaring, coming to life right under her nose. Clarke shifted again, and Lexa knew she was finally, truly, waking. She settled in against Clarke’s side to wait for Clarke’s eyes to open. It was something she hadn’t gotten to do, watch as Clarke took her first look at the world after a long sleep. She decided she wanted to memorize Clarke’s face in the exact moment she woke up, just in case she wouldn’t get the opportunity again, but Clarke didn’t open her eyes, not immediately anyway.

Instead, Lexa watched as a slow smile crept over Clarke’s lips. She knew Clarke was awake; there was no way she wasn’t, but Clarke seemed content to just lay there, so Lexa did the same, trying to push her worries further and further away the longer they laid there. Clarke’s husky voice was what ultimately broke their silence though, and Lexa grinned sheepishly as Clarke said, “What are you doing?”

Blushing, Lexa didn’t have an immediate response, thinking that she couldn’t just come out and tell Clarke what she had been doing; watching her sleep and worrying. She really didn’t want to tell Clarke about her worries at all, because she didn’t want to ruin the moment, but she didn’t want to deliver a sappy answer either. Despite her best efforts though, she couldn’t come up with anything smooth to say, so she just said what was on her mind nonetheless, “I was watching you sleep, Clarke. You’re very cute when you sleep.” Clarke scoffed, her nose wrinkling up at the compliment and Lexa couldn’t help barking out, “See! That’s what I’m talking about… Too Cute…”

Clarke’s face turned almost sour and Lexa watched as she playfully hid a grimace behind one of her arms. The obstruction caused Clarke’s next words to come out a little garbled, but Lexa managed to make sense of it, “Watching me sleep is creepy, Lexa. I mean, what if I farted in my sleep or something. I wouldn’t even know it and you’d have this thing to laugh at me over, even though I had no control over it.” Clarke’s tone was gruff and serious, but Lexa couldn’t help laughing as she thought, ‘Everyone farts in their sleep, it’s just a thing that happens.’

Apparently, Clarke didn’t think anything was funny about it, as she fixed Lexa with a sharp look; a look that told Lexa it was clearly a big deal that Lexa not know Clarke did indelicate things like that. It was that little bit of insecurity shining through Clarke huffy exterior that had Lexa completely pushing aside her own doubts though, because she suddenly realized, everyone has doubts and fears, and she simply wasn’t going to let a little worry control her. “God, I love you,” Lexa muttered then, slipping in close to place a sweet kiss on Clarke’s still wrinkled nose.

It was the first time she had said those words, in the light of day, so to speak, rather than in the heat of the moment, and it felt so different, like it meant more, just because of when she was saying it. She had almost convinced herself that the adoration she felt for Clarke was just a reaction to Clarke’s heat and hormones, but she could feel it swelling inside her every pore when Clarke finally opened her eyes. The love she could see in Clarke’s eyes only made her own feelings amplify and Lexa shivered as she felt one of Clarke’s hands move up her arm, coming to rest against her neck.

“Lexa, I love you too,” Clarke whispered then, before pulling her in for a kiss. Hearing Clarke say it, hearing her love returned, felt like a flame striking to life inside her. The surge of emotion had Lexa arching into the kiss, quickly pressing herself closer to Clarke, deepening their kiss, holding Clarke to her as if the flame would go out if she were to let go. Clarke bucked against her too, whining into Lexa’s mouth when Lexa deliberately angled her body so that her length brushed up against Clarke’s outer thigh. Lexa smirked into their kiss, as Clarke turned into her then, quickly swinging a leg over her hip, trapping her shaft between their warm bodies. Lexa groaned at the sudden move, but her shock didn’t stop her from clutching at Clarke’s arms, throwing them over her shoulders, and quickly rolling on top of her.

During the last three days, they’d had sex, in pretty much every position, and on pretty much every available surface in the apartment; all but this one, plain, old missionary. Sure, she had faced Clarke, several times in fact, but this time it would be different. It would be face to face, but with no slippery shower walls or maple syrup flavor to distract her, nothing to keep her from staring right into Clarke’s eyes as they, not just had sex, but made love. She already felt like Clarke’s eyes could bore deep down into her, see all the places Lexa hid things, so the added intimacy was daunting. The last thing she wanted Clarke to find there, was fear; either, her fear of rejection, Clarke not wanting her after her heat was over, or, worries about what it would be like to emerge from this heat, having been whole only to find herself split in two once again. She had other worries too, ones that actually had nothing to do with Clarke too, like what it would be like to go to Polaris the next night, and actually play music for other people’s enjoyment instead of just her own, or other little niggling worries about things like whether she had paid the water bill this month or not. Lexa kept pushing all of her doubts down though, banishing them to the far corners of her mind. She tried to just enjoy the feeling of being with someone, of being in love with someone again. She wasn’t sure she was ready for Clarke to see just how nervous she was about the future, about their future, but with the way Clarke was looking at her, she also wasn’t sure she had much of a choice.

 

~~~

 

For a while, it was nice to just look at Lexa and have Lexa look back at her, but she could feel Lexa’s shaft throbbing against her lower belly and the sensation was starting to make her feel like the skin there was going to just tingle right off her body. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” Clarke finally asked, squirming slightly as she pressed up into Lexa hovering above her. Lexa had been staring into the space between them for far too long, and it was almost as if Clarke could hear how hard Lexa was worrying.

The haze cleared from Lexa’s gaze too quickly though, and Clarke’s brow furrowed as Lexa gently shook her head and murmured, “Nothing but this, love, just this.” Despite herself, Clarke groaned at the words, or maybe it was at the way Lexa swooped in to kiss her then, she wasn’t sure. It didn’t really matter either way, she couldn’t really think about whatever was bothering Lexa for very long, not when she felt Lexa’s tongue lick firmly at her bottom lip before swirling inside her mouth. She arched into the kiss then, groaning again as Lexa’s shaft nudged at her sex through Lexa’s gym shorts. She grumbled slightly, momentarily annoyed that Lexa had even put them on, but when Lexa smiled into their kiss she couldn’t bring herself to be that upset about it. Instead, she just pulled her hands back to Lexa’s shoulders and began to push, muttering about Lexa’s stupid modesty as she went.

Lexa grinning at her then, as she took off her shorts, was quite the sight to behold, especially when Lexa’s length sprang free, slapping against her stomach before leveling Clarke with its one-eyed stare. She couldn’t take her eyes off it either as Lexa’s hips twitched forward a little, making the end bob and weave. Lexa was beautiful, this she knew, but this Lexa was so much more than that. It was the easy confidence; the way she paused, Lexa’s hands resting casually on her knees for a moment, before slowly pushing them apart. It was the fluid grace; the way Lexa slunk back up the bed, Lexa’s knees barely bumping into her elbows as Lexa settled over her. It was the closeness; the way Lexa covered every part of her body with her own. It felt hot and soft and hard and… wet. Clarke’s eyes snapped to the source of the wetness, but instead of finding the head of Lexa’s shaft leaking, she found Lexa’s eyes leaking instead.

Immediately, Clarke knew something was wrong. These certainly weren’t tears of joy, or even tears of sadness. No, they were tears made out of fear. She didn’t have any idea what Lexa could be afraid of, but that didn’t stop her from reaching out for Lexa anyway, quickly wrapping her arms around Lexa’s shoulders, and pulling Lexa into her chest. The shift caused Lexa’s shaft to get trapped between them again, and Clarke nearly groaned as she felt Lexa twitch against her lower belly, but she couldn’t think about that though, not when Lexa was crying into her cleavage.

It didn’t seem like Lexa was an ugly crier though, simply sniffling and dripping against her breasts for a few moments, before, obviously, deliberately starting to try to calm herself down. Clarke counted the breaths too, listening as Lexa’s finally began to even out. Lexa didn’t move to get up, and Clarke didn’t want her to; the feeling of cradling Lexa in her arms as she cried too powerful to let go of yet anyway, so Clarke simply relaxed further into the bed, and thus, Lexa’s embrace. It seemed like hours were ticking by, but Clarke didn’t mind, she was comfortable and content, at least for the most part. Lexa’s length was still hot against her skin, so there was that, but Clarke merely tried to enjoy the closeness as long as she could.

Eventually though, she started to get a little restless. Lexa started twitching against her, first just once, but the longer they stayed like that, the more Clarke felt, and whether Lexa realized it was happening or not, the sensation was starting to make Clarke feel like squirming and whining, and clawing and biting, and _anything_ to get a little friction to break up the staccato rhythm of Lexa’s trembling muscles. When she felt Lexa finally move against her, she thought Lexa was going to give her what she needed, but instead, Lexa was moving away. She started to whine then, instantly reaching for Lexa again, but then her eyes flashed up to meet Lexa’s when she heard Lexa finally whisper, “Is this— are we real?”

Biting down on her whine, and her needs, took a miracle, but Clarke nodded immediately, thankful that Lexa had decided to let her in on what she was thinking at least. She tried to think of something to say, some way to tell Lexa how she felt, but in the end, she said the only thing she could say, “Lexa, yes… this is real to me. Is it— is it real to you?”

Lexa nodded quickly too, face lighting up with a soft smile as she replied, “So real… it’s almost too real, you know?”

Clarke chuckled a little at how that sounded, but she knew exactly what Lexa meant. The last three days had felt like it would just be the two of them in this apartment forever. It felt like they’d been in a different world entirely, like they’d spent the whole time to in some fantasy place where the outside world didn’t exist. But it did exist, the real world, that is; she knew they both had jobs and friends and lives separate from each other, but somewhere deep down, Clarke didn’t feel like that that was really the case anymore. Their lives were already intertwining; Octavia and Anya had seemed very into each other, and maybe Lexa had another cousin, or a friend even, that they could set Raven up with and then they’d all set, all six of them. She shook her head at little though, realizing it probably wasn’t a great idea to be thinking about her best friends at a time like that, and so, she simply said, “Yes, I know what you mean, Lexa, but I… I want to keep this feeling though. I want to keep you, ok?"

“Keep me then… As long as I get to keep you too, then it’s fair,” Lexa replied, sniffling one last time before sitting up fully. Clarke saw the change in Lexa immediately then, that confidence and grace coming back tenfold, and she knew she had said just the right thing. Lexa’s grave tone from before was gone; replaced by a swelling affection and love that looked so natural that Clarke wondered if it had been there all along and Lexa had just been hiding it, right along with all her other emotions. Lexa shifted a little more then, probably getting stiff from sitting with her knees bent up for so long, but the movement caused Clarke to bite her own lip to keep from screaming. Lexa’s length brushed through her folds, giving a heavy throb against her skin, and Clarke almost choked as she tried to say, “I— As long as… we-we’re talking about fairness, I think you owe me an or-orgasm.”

Lexa’s eyes bulged for just a moment and Clarke almost laughed at the shocked look on Lexa’s face, but then Lexa hastily replied, “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”

Clarke’s smile widened into a greedy smirk as she rolled her hips up, pulling a hearty groan from Lexa as she seductively replied, “Because… you started a serious conversation right when I thought we were gonna…” She rolled her hips again, making her point, but when Lexa buckled forward against her, she whispered, “Come on, love… If I don’t come soon, I think I might spontaneously combust.” She groaned as if to emphasize her predicament, and Lexa choked on a groan too, as if she was almost surprised by their position.

Lexa’s surprise didn’t seem to last though, as Lexa quickly picked up a rhythm with her hips, dragging her length up and down through Clarke’s folds. Clarke arched up into the contact, gasping when Lexa’s shaft slipped between her outer lips, finally bringing her that friction she had been longing for. It wasn’t more than a minute of just Lexa humping against her before Clarke felt her first orgasm wash over her. It felt good, but was only mildly satisfying, and as she came down, Clarke knew her heat was still lingering enough to need more. She tried not to groan as Lexa pulled away from her, but when she felt Lexa’s fingers prying apart her sex, the sound escaped anyway, because the feeling of Lexa’s shaft immediately pressing against her entrance was too overwhelming.

Then Lexa was all over her, on top of her, inside her, and Clarke sighed in relief. There was no driving pace then, no wild abandon, just Lexa slowly filling her over and over again. Their foreheads rested together, eyes locked, as they shared everything with each other, even their breaths. It was almost like there was no end goal, no final destination. To Clarke, there was no amount of bliss that was worth ending the pleasure of feeling Lexa totally inside her. Clarke didn’t have to fear an ending though, because it seemed like there never would be one, as Lexa continued to steadily plunge inside her, murmuring things against her lips like, “I want you,” and, “I need you,” and, “I love you,” over and over.

Eventually, all the sensations, and emotions, sent Clarke past the point of no return again, and she shuddered through another, stronger orgasm. Lexa just continued murmuring, and driving solidly forward though the whole thing, until Clarke felt Lexa’s strokes finally start to quicken and shorten. She looked deep, deep, deep into Lexa’s eyes then, drawing her further and further in until there was nothing left between them; until Clarke had pulled Lexa completely inside, and vowed, at least to herself, to never let Lexa go.

 

~~~

 

Lexa wasn’t going anywhere, at least not until her knot contracted, but it seemed like that was going to happen much faster than she was really ready for. Maybe only ten minutes after her own orgasm had ended, she started to feel the all-too-familiar signs; her knot was already diminishing in size. The mess that seeped out from in between them wasn’t as viscous either, and Lexa instantly knew why. Clarke’s heat was well and truly over, and she grimaced as she felt her knot completely fade, her length shortening along with it.

At least Clarke wasn’t awake anymore, too tired to witness Lexa’s disappointment firsthand. Mixed with her frustrated feelings was a soul-crushing sort of shame that Lexa had no way to rectify. All her worries came rushing back into her conscious mind then, like the dam that had been holding them back had suddenly been destroyed in some sort of explosion. As she felt her shaft shrivel up, shrinking to only the two and a half, maybe three inches, she was used to, she nearly choked on her own breath at the sensation. She longed for the return of her length, her confidence, her pride. She snuggled her face into Clarke’s hair, breathing deeply, trying to recapture even just a hint of Clarke’s waning heat, but she found not a whiff of that sweet scent that had called to her so strongly only a few hours before.

Disheartened and thoroughly nervous, Lexa recoiled from Clarke’s body slightly, shifting off and to the side, not wanting Clarke to wake and immediately find her lacking, but Clarke just shifted with her, rolling onto her side as well, so Lexa was cuddled up against her rear instead of her front. Lexa thanked all that was holy that Clarke simply settled against her then, still sleeping, totally unaware of Lexa’s body betraying them both. Instead of trying to shift away again, Lexa settled herself too, figuring she should try to get some sleep if she could, but just as soon as she had made the decision to try to sleep, her stomach grumbled and growled. She craned her neck up slightly, glancing over Clarke’s shoulder to her alarm clock on her nightstand. She realized then, that neither one of them had eaten since the pancakes the morning before, and while that had been a very filling meal, the energy those calories had provided was long gone.

It was only six in the morning, but Lexa knew her favorite place, the one right down the street, opened at five, so eventually, when Clarke shifted in her sleep, obviously trying to find a more comfortable position, Lexa shifted away from her instead of toward her. Clarke whimpered a little as the chilly air rushed in between their bodies, and Lexa shivered at the loss of heat as well, but it was really the sound that almost broke Lexa in two; the need to offer comfort warring with her desire to get some distance. Lexa felt like she might throw up from the vertigo her whipping thoughts were causing her. She managed to shift to the edge of the bed before she had to pause to breathe. She wasn’t sure if it was just her thoughts that were making her feel so nauseas; her low blood sugar was probably a contributing factor too, so she decided to tackle one problem at a time. ‘Food first and then the rest…’ Lexa thought as she stood from the bed and quietly made her way over to her dresser to throw on some sweats. She didn’t bother with underwear, not wanting to have to open any more drawers than was strictly necessary, and within a few moments, she was dressed enough to venture out into the real world.

Slipping into the half bath on her way out proved to be a quite fortunate, as her hair was a wild mess of tangles and twists. She combed through it with the wide-toothed comb from the medicine cabinet, thinking to herself, that it might be a good idea to buy a brush to keep in there instead of just her old comb. After a minute or two of trying to pick through the chaos, Lexa gave up, hastily braiding the knotted dreads, instead of trying to do more to straighten it all out. She made her way to the kitchen then, deciding to leave a quick note on the counter just in case Clarke woke up before she got back. She figured she would only be gone a half hour or so, but she definitely didn’t want Clarke to think that she had just abandoned her.

Scrawling her note on a piece of scrap paper, she wrote, “Clarke, I’ll be back in a few. Just stepped out to get breakfast. I hope you like bagels… I’ll bring back coffee too… Love, Lexa.” She read through it once, grimacing at the casual, yet also not-so-causal conclusion, but quickly decided it was enough, but not too much. She left the note right on the edge of the breakfast bar, thinking the kitchen would probably be the third place Clarke would look for her. She was tempted to walk it back to the bedroom and leave it on the nightstand, but she knew that if she went back into the bedroom she wouldn’t be able to walk away from Clarke a second time. Her need to comfort Clarke’s small whimper had already almost gotten the better of her once and if she saw Clarke, alone and cold, cuddled up in the middle of her bed, she didn’t think she’d be able to deny that need again.

Shuffling into her slip-ons by the door was a bit of a challenge, a slight wave of dizziness causing Lexa to list too heavily to one side each time she tried to pull one of them on. She finally had to lean her butt against the door to have enough balance to manage the task. The routine of checking for her keys and her phone and her wallet helped her to focus though, and when the nausea had, finally, completely subsided, she made her way out of her apartment, being doubly sure to lock the door behind her.

It was only a short walk up the block to Grounders, the local coffee roaster/handmade bagel shop. In Lexa’s opinion, it was the best coffee in the city, and she’d fight anyone who said otherwise. The bagels weren’t half bad either, but Roan, the owner, put great pride into his unique roasts, mixing his coffee with all sorts of ingredients to bring out the best flavors in each one. She had tried a few blends that hadn’t really done it for her, like the caramel and green apple Tanzanian that he had made for her that one time. It had a heavy acidic flavor she hadn’t cared for, but when she complained, Roan simply cut it with heavy cream, and she hadn’t been able to stop herself from slurping up every last drop.

As always, Roan was there, working the register, greeting everyone that came through the door and Lexa was no exception. She just wasn’t expecting his boisterous, almost leering, smile, and his booming voice when he proclaimed, “AH! The Commander returns. We were beginning to get worried about you. This place just doesn’t seem the same without you brooding in the corner writing your death blog.”

Several people in the shop turned to look at her and Lexa felt about two, maybe three inches tall altogether. She could tell Roan was joking with her; they had had many conversations about her blog, and she knew he knew that it wasn’t just centered around death. It was dark, sure, but sometimes she posted picture of live trees, as well as dead ones. It was an aesthetic thing, the dark and the light, the pain and the hope, juxta positioning each other, creating harmony and balance, where Lexa didn’t have any herself. Thinking about her blog, brought about a new wave of worries, her chest filling with anxiety at the thought of some her followers feeling lost without that balance. She pushed past those thoughts though, when the person in front of her in line shifted further down the bar to wait for their order.

Roan cleared his throat a little, obviously preparing to make some other snide comment, but Lexa cut him off, saying, “You know very well I don’t like it when you say things like that, Roan. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t want me to spend my money here anymore… I guess I could always try that chain place two doors down…”

It was an empty threat and they both knew it, but that didn’t stop Roan from sneering at her as he said, “Oh, heaven forbid you spend more money on that swill over my fine blends and brews. I guess I could take it easy on you just this once, at least about your brooding anyway, especially because it seems like you may have found a treatment for that particular ailment. Gotta say Commander, that hickey on your neck is anything but subtle.”

Lexa flushed at the blatant comment. She knew there was likely a huge bruise on her neck, especially considering all the times Clarke had bitten her over the last few days, but she had been so distracted by the state of her hair that she had missed the evidence of their activities so boldly displayed on her skin. She ducked her head, trying to hide it, even though she was sure Roan had already gotten an eye full and when she heard him laugh at her from across the counter, she knew that there was no point in trying to play it off. When she looked back up and found Roan looking back at her, she stuttered, “Yeah, well, I should probably get back to that before she wakes up then, shouldn’t I?”

Roan’s knowing smile and nod was comforting, and they continued their business with no more embarrassment, Lexa ordering a mixed half dozen of bagels, a small tub of plain cream cheese, and two Jamaican blends to go. Much to Lexa’s chagrin though, Roan caught her just as she was collecting her order from the barista at the other end of the bar, saying, “Look, Commander, you don’t have to be embarrassed. All I was trying to say is, that I’m happy you seem happy. She’s a lucky girl to have an alpha like you. You’re too good a person to be alone all the time.”

His easy-going tone was a little strange, because Lexa had always sort of felt like Roan was attracted to her, but as he offered her his hand, she realized he might have just wanted to be friends and hadn’t known how to bridge the gap between customer and friend before. She gratefully sat her bag down to take his hand in her own, as she replied, “It’s me who’s the lucky one… I don’t know, Clarke’s just special, I guess. She elevates herself, you know. I’ve never met an omega quite like her.”

“Well, I’ve never met an alpha quite like you, so it’s sounds like you’re a match made in heaven,” Roan replied quickly, and Lexa felt just a twinge of guilt as he pulled his hand away. _Why hadn’t she tried to be his friend before?_

Maybe it was his honest expression that had made her open up just then, and before she could stop herself, she said, “Yeah, I’m not so sure about that. It’s really soon, like four days soon, like four days of into her heat soon, and I’m just not sure I’ll, uh, measure up when the haze has fully cleared.”

Nearly gasping for breath at her own admission, Lexa held herself completely still as Roan seemed to consider her words. From the look on his face, she had no choice but to assume that she had, in fact, just condemned herself to more expensive, mediocre coffee for the rest of her days, but Roan’s features eventually softened and he leaned across the counter to reply quietly, “Lexa, believe me when I say, she’d be a fool to let something like that get in between you, but I guess you’ll just have to take my word for it. That is… unless you take her this breakfast and coffee and find out for yourself.”

Roan was right, and Lexa knew it. It wouldn’t do her any good to wallow in her misery, especially if she didn’t know whether there was something to be miserable about in the first place. The only way to know if that was the case, was to talk to Clarke about it. She wasn’t sure she was ready to burn that bridge that morning, or even that day, but she decided to just try to relax until that situation finally arose, well, arose, so to speak. She smiled at Roan as she thanked him for kind words, and kind reminders, saying, “Roan, I never realized what a good friend you are to me. I’m sorry I’ve kept my distance, but I hope in the future we can build on that.”

That brilliant, easy going smile returned to Roan’s lips as he said, “I think I’d like that… How about next Monday night? My cousin, Echo, usually hosts a quarters-only poker game every Monday, but from what she tells me, we’re only gonna have three to play from now on. One of her employees used to play with us, but I guess she fired him… You could take his seat.”

A little taken aback by Roan sudden proposition, Lexa took a second before she replied. Monday night would work with her new work schedule, and she didn’t really have that many friends to speak of anyway, and Roan seemed genuinely interested in being her friend, and _just_ her friend. She figured she might as well give it a try, what was the worst that could happen; she’d have a miserable time and leave early, or maybe she’d actually enjoy herself and win a little money to boot. Returning his smile, she finally said, “Alright, why not? Here… text me the details and I’ll be there.” She grabbed a sharpie off the bar and scribbled her name and number down on a cup sleeve, before handing both things to Roan. He grinned, probably chuckling at her choice of business card, but she hadn’t wanted to waste any more time digging through her wallet to look for a real business card that might not even be in there in the first place, especially when she thought of Clarke, still alone, and possibly awake and alone, back at her apartment.

Roan’s grin was knowing too though, and he seemed grateful as he accepted the cup sleeve anyway, as he said, “Ay, ay, Commander. Expect to hear from me later on today or tomorrow. Just wanna double check with Echo, and make sure this is all good with her too.”

“Of course, of course,” Lexa heard herself saying, even as she was already making her way towards the door. Only when she reached it, did she turn back and call out, “Oh! Roan if you really want to be friends, you’re gonna have to stop with the whole Commander thing. People might get the wrong idea.” She was sure she could feel his eyes roll from all the way across the restaurant, but she just smirked and wiggled her eyebrows at him, before she turned back to the door and began to make her way back to her apartment, to her omega, to her home.

 

~~~

 

The light streaming in through the blinds wasn’t really as bright as Clarke expected it to be when she finally woke up, especially for how well rested she felt, but when she glanced over at the clock and saw it was only about six-fifteen, she sighed, realizing she’d only been asleep for about an hour rather the full eight she felt like she’d gotten. She glanced around for Lexa then, but before she could even sweep the room with her eyes, she knew Lexa wasn’t there. She didn’t think Lexa was anywhere in the apartment for that matter. The strength of Lexa’s scent was nearly non-existent, leaving not much more than the lived-in smell one would expect find in someone’s bedroom. Her nose could be playing tricks on her though, so she quieted her breathing as best she could, and listened. There was no music playing, drifting softly into the bedroom from the kitchen like the day before. There were no swishing sounds of running water coming from the bathroom or babbling TV sounds coming from the living room either.

Deciding it was probably best if she just got up and looked for herself, she shuffled to the edge of the bed, immediately cursing her still slightly sore muscles and joints. The ache was pleasant as always, but she couldn’t help feeling a little awkward about waking up, totally alone in someone else’s house. Despite all the things she and Lexa had shared over the last few days, they were still very much in the getting-to-know-you stage of their relationship. She thought it was a little early on for Lexa to be leaving her like that, especially without writing her a note saying where she had gone.

Clarke checked the nightstand again, just to be sure she hadn’t missed that very note when she had glanced at the clock earlier, but sure enough the only things on the surface were the alarm clock itself and three empty water bottles. She was sure Lexa wouldn’t simply abandon her without a word though, so she got up and threw on the top two things out of her overnight bag, just a pair of grey briefs and a loose-fitting tank top. There was really no reason to stand on ceremony and put on pants, not when she kind of hoped Lexa would just want to take them off again anyway. Even though her heat felt like it was officially over, that didn’t mean she wasn’t just as eager to have Lexa inside her all over again, even if it was just with her fingers. They were nice and long anyway, and she knew from experience they had no problem reaching deep enough to drive her right over the edge all on their own. She was nervous to admit it, but she was kind of curious about Lexa’s new body too.

Well, ‘new’ was maybe the totally wrong way to describe it, but Clarke couldn’t imagine any better way to think of it. Lexa’s body had reacted to the final satisfaction of her heat like it had throughout the days before, but surely by then she would have settled back into her original, i.e. new, state. The longer she thought about it the more curious Clarke became, her imagination filling in the blanks about Lexa’s sex would look like now that her heat was over. Lexa would actually have to be in the same room with her for her find out for herself though. Now that Clarke was at least partially dressed, she felt like she could venture out into the rest of the apartment and venture she did. The first room she came to, was a small linen closet, with the tiniest washer and dryer Clarke had ever seen. She thought maybe two full outfits would fit inside, but when she thought about the fact that Lexa lived alone, and even worked from home, so she figured Lexa could afford to wash laundry every few days to keep things from piling up.

She closed the door to the closet almost as quickly as she had opened it and moved on though, pacing down the hall in the opposite direction from where she knew the kitchen and living room to be. There was only one door at the end and Clarke should have known what was going to be in there before she opened the door, but she was still surprised at the amount of musical gear she found when she flipped on the light. There were computers and monitors, drum machines and keyboards, and some equipment Clarke could even identify. Some of the pieces were laid out on customs stands, while others were set up on top of one the room’s three desks. After a moment or two of surveying the room, Clarke realized that at some point this room had been the master bedroom, but the door that connected it to the bathroom between this larger room and Lexa’s actual bedroom had been taken out and walled off.

It made sense, to Clarke at least. This was Lexa’s studio, her workspace, just like Clarke had always dreamed of having a room big enough to use an art studio. A room where all that took place inside was art. She didn’t mind painting in the park, or drawing while sitting on the living room couch, but every since she had been a little girl she had wanted a room for making art, just for making things in general; whether it was painting a fancy self-portrait or sculpting an abstract piece for an art show or knitting a scarf for her friends for their birthdays.

Thinking of her friends made Clarke wonder how many text messages she had missed from them over the last few days. Not wanting to disturb anything in Lexa’s studio, she admired all the equipment and cords and such from the doorway for another second or two before she carefully closed the door and headed back to Lexa’s bedroom to grab her phone. She found it quickly enough, buried under the small pile of dirty clothes next to her overnight bag. Sure enough, she had seven missed messages too; three from Octavia, two from Niylah, one from her mom, and one from a number that wasn’t saved into her phone. The last one she checked first, thinking Raven might have texted her from someone else’s phone when her phone had died or something, but Clarke deleted the message almost before she had finished reading it, knowing it was, in fact, not from Raven. She even went so far as to block the number too.

It was a recent thing, getting texts from Finn, but they hadn’t bother her too badly. They were few and far between, and always short, always the same message, simply ‘I miss you.’ She noted his text had come in late Tuesday night, and Clarke figured he had probably been drunk when he sent it. She decided to just ignore it like she had ignored all his other messages. Instead of trying to field the other messages, wary of any more emotional landmines, Clarke made her way back out into the apartment proper then, ducking her head into Lexa’s spare bedroom for a second, before moving on to the half bath on her way to the living room.

In the bathroom, she found a wad of Lexa’s long brown hair tangled in a wide-toothed comb that was resting on the sink, but no Lexa herself, so Clarke quickly moved on again, finally padding her way into the empty living room. Again, no Lexa, but glinting light on the opposite wall caught her eye and she took a minute or two to peruse the pictures hanging on that wall. There were a couple of shots of Lexa and Anya and a very tall, grisly looking man in a cop uniform, big shiny badge standing out on his chest like it was a medal. Clarke wasn’t really sure who the man was, but she had a sneaking suspicion that was Anya’s father, Lexa’s uncle, Gustus. Lexa had mentioned him a couple of times, but Clarke didn’t have many details, so she quickly drifted past those photos to the ones of Lexa and a dark-skinned young woman. Lexa was younger in all the pictures as well, and from the intimate poses, Clarke could only assume these photos included Costia; Lexa’s first mate, the omega that Clarke had to keep up with if she wanted to keep Lexa.

Costia was beautiful, Clarke couldn’t deny that, with her deep caramel skin, and soft brown eyes, but it was her smile that made Costia truly enamoring. It was bright and full of life, broad and shining in each photo, even the one where Lexa was grimacing as they rode in a Ferris Wheel car together. It was bitter sweet though because Clarke knew she would never get to see that smile in person; never get to know the one person who had loved Lexa before her. They’d never get the chance to be friends, or even rivals, and the thought of such a loss to the world made Clarke grimace herself. Actually, seeing Costia in those photos, made Clarke feel as much hope as it did despair too, because while she couldn’t think of two people any more different, at least physically, the love she could see radiating in those eyes was daunting. She couldn’t help worrying that there was no way she would ever be able to love Lexa as much as Costia had seemed to love Lexa.

Finally turning away from the pictures, Clarke realized her mouth had grown dry and her eyes had begun to water instead. As the tears started to run down her face, she tried to sniffle them back, deciding to try not to dwell on things she couldn’t change. She would just have to love Lexa the best way she knew how and hope for the best. She decided to head to the kitchen to make herself some coffee while she waited for Lexa, because what else was she supposed to do in an apartment that wasn’t hers. She wasn’t much for snooping; she felt like she’d done enough of that as it was, but she figured that it was good to know what Costia looked like, at least. That way she knew for sure what she had to contest with in Lexa’s memories. She hated that she felt the need to compare herself to Costia at all, but the emotions she felt for Lexa were still just as strong as they had been during her heat, and that meant she needed to know the competition, as it were.

When she crossed into the kitchen, the first thing she noticed was the piece of legal-sized paper that had been ripped in half and hastily scribbled on. She sighed as she read the words, grateful to finally know where Lexa had gone. She smiled too, at the idea of Lexa sneaking out of her own apartment to go get them breakfast. It was incredibly thoughtful, especially because Clarke knew pancakes and bacon was pretty much the only option for breakfast other than oatmeal. She had never cared for oatmeal, and while she loved pancakes and would probably never turn them down, a bagel with cream cheese sounded like it would definitely hit the spot too. With Lexa bringing back coffee too, Clarke figured it wasn’t the best idea to make some herself and decided to settle in at the breakfast bar and just wait. She whipped out her phone again, just for something to do. She promptly ignored the texts from her boss and her mother again, clicking over to reply to Octavia’s missed texts instead.

The first one was a gif of two love birds cuddled up next to each other cooing. The second was a message about how Anya had blown Octavia’s mind at dinner, wooing her like an old-fashioned gentleman and a horny teenager all at the same time. The third text was the one that made Clarke’s eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline though, simply, ‘I hope Lexa’s as good as Anya in bed, because DAMN!’ She smiled, happy that her friend had found someone special for her first time, but she couldn’t help feeling a little uneasy anyway. She and Raven were very protective over Octavia, mostly because Octavia was like their little sister, but as she rationalized about that for a few seconds, she realized that if Anya was anything like Lexa, Octavia was in good hands. She shot off a quick reply to Octavia then, also simply, ‘You have no idea…’ before she finally clicked over to her missed texts from Niylah, again deciding her mother’s message could wait.

Niylah could be high strung sometimes, and her messages were clear evidence of that. Clarke tried to keep herself calm as she replied to her boss’ vague threats and snide comments, knowing that she really owed Niylah for being so understanding about her early heat. She vowed to make it up to Niylah, adding a little extra promise to her reply, ‘I’ll sort it all out when I get there, I promise. By the end of the day, it’ll be like I never left. See you in a bit…’ She dreaded going back to work, but again, she tried not to dwell on sad things. Lexa would be back soon with coffee and bagels, and hopefully cream cheese, and they could have breakfast together and talk, before she had leave.

The talking to Lexa was daunting too though, because she wasn’t sure what she was going to say. She hoped that dating Lexa would be as easy as falling into bed with her, but something Clarke her that there may be monsters that way. Maybe not the physical ‘monsters’ she had seen depicted on old maps, marking the unknown, but there were definitely metaphorical, emotional monsters looming on the horizon. Thinking of emotional monsters, Clarke turned her attention back to her phone as best she could and tried to focus on her mother’s missed message, but just as she got it up on the screen, she heard the front door to the apartment open. She quickly abandoned her phone and her mother’s message, in favor of greeting Lexa, because obviously she was much more excited about the prospect of Lexa with her breakfast than some surely shady attempt to garner good will from her mother.

Lexa didn’t disappoint either, stumbling through the door a moment later, arms full of stuff; a large brown paper bag, a drink tray with two still steaming coffees, plus her keys and her phone and her wallet. Clarke hustled over to relieve Lexa of the bag at least, only to catch Lexa smirking at the way her breasts moved under her tank top. Normally, Clarke would feel sort of self-conscious about not wearing a bra; the girls were just a little too big to leave them unrestrained, but she quickly found she liked the hungry look in Lexa’s eyes, much more than she cared to admit. Instead of relinquishing the bag though, Lexa smooshed it in between them as she leaned for a kiss, one that Clarke fell into just as gratefully. She realized that even if she was nervous and unsure, she could just kiss Lexa until the feeling went away.

It seemed like that was exactly what Lexa was doing too, leaning in further and further as they continued kissing, until Clarke felt Lexa hiss against her lips. When she glanced down and saw coffee dribbling out of the top of one of the cups, she pushed back slightly, forcing Lexa to right the tray and stop hurting herself. She smiled when Lexa just leaned in for another kiss as she whispered, “Hi…” Clarke, naturally, replied in kind, taking Lexa’s hand as she led Lexa into the apartment, like she lived there. It was a little awkward after that, settling in at the very table where, not twenty-four hours before, Lexa had bent her over and fucked her into the table so hard she had bruises across the tops of her thighs to prove it. She blushed at the thought, and Lexa seemed to be thinking about it too, the redness in the alpha’s cheeks mirroring her own. The memory was as stimulating as it was disappointing though, knowing that she’d have to wait a whole three months to feel Lexa inside her like that again. She found she was more than excited about the prospect of exploring the other side of Lexa too though; the side that was more Lexa than alpha.


	27. The Double-Trouble Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I wanted to have this up yesterday, but that just wasn't in the cards. Apparently, at some point when I was editing this chapter, I managed to delete an entire section of it by mistake. The three hours I had set aside yesterday to proofread were spent re-writing that section instead.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the delay...

The next morning, Abby woke in much the same position she had fallen asleep in, Raven snuggled up against her side, Raven’s head resting on her bare chest. She glanced over at the clock, and for once, was actually thankful that she’d woken up before the alarm. It gave her a few minutes to bask in the glow of just being with Raven. Her deep, even breaths were comforting, lulling Abby into an almost half sleep. Raven’s warm skin was soft and tempting though, and Abby forced herself to stay awake, if for no other reason than to enjoy the way it felt pressed against her own. She didn’t dare move to stroke the skin of Raven’s back or side however, not wanting to wake Raven any earlier than she had to, knowing they’d had a late night.

 After she and Raven had finished dinner the night before, Raven had gotten unusually quiet. Abby had tried to ride it out, but the longer Raven had cuddled against her side on the couch, not watching the movie that was on the TV, just staring into space instead, the more anxious Abby had felt. She had eventually realized that some of what she was feeling was coming from Raven, and she had tried to comfort her, pulling Raven in closer to her side, trying to share her strength like Raven had done for her earlier. It had seemed to work too, because only a few moments later, Raven had whispered, “Abby? What are we going to do about Clarke?”

Luckily, Abby had spent most of the day thinking about how to tell Clarke about the two of them. She already had a pseudo plan ready to go; as long as Raven agreed to it, that is. “I’ll ask her to meet me for dinner tomorrow night. I should meet with her alone first, because I’ve already told her I met someone, but that is was complicated,” Abby had said then, letting her voice trail off when Raven snuggled a little closer at her words, clearly feeling nervous. Abby had simply smiled, because she knew that no matter what, they’d make Clarke see how good this could be for both of them. “When I’ve got Clarke at least used to the idea of us, I’ll call you over. I— I don’t know whether to tell it’s you or not, though, before I call you over anyway… I don’t want her to walk out before we’ve even had a chance to explain, but I don’t want to surprise her either, you know?” She had felt Raven’s nerves race then, surely imagining the same scenario Abby herself had envisioned several times throughout the day; Clarke being so angry and upset that she stormed out of whatever restaurant they were in, causing an embarrassing scene. Abby wasn’t as worried about that, as she was what that would all mean for her and Clarke’s relationship, but then Raven’s nerves had spiked again, and she hadn’t been able to stop herself from saying, “Don’t worry, honey. We’ll figure it out… together…”

They’d gone to bed shortly after that, both still so on edge that they’d needed the reassurances and releases that followed. They made love for hours then, filled each other with such passion and fervor, like they had been trying to lose themselves in each other again. And, lose themselves they did; it wasn’t until they were physically too tried to continue that they finally crashed, wrapped tightly in each other’s arms, not even bothering to wipe the sweat from their skin before succumbing to sleep. For those few hours, Abby had felt her worries drift away, allowing herself to focus on bringing Raven as much pleasure as she could. Raven had given as good as she had gotten too, and Abby almost felt sore from Raven’s voracious attentions. She had expected her worries to return that morning, but with Raven still cuddled into her side, her worries didn’t seem like as big of a burden anymore. Maybe it was the early morning light streaming in through a crack in the curtains, shedding light on everything it touched, including her dark thoughts. She glanced over at the clock again, and realized she’d have to get up soon, if she was going to get to work on time. She knew from the morning before that having Raven around was going to mess with her morning routine, but she found herself looking forward to making a new routine; one that included Raven every step of the way.

She shifted a little underneath Raven then, trying to slink out of the bed without waking her, but the second she started to pull herself out from under Raven’s weight, she heard, “Ugh… Abs, where are you going?”

Abby smiled at Raven’s already comfortable use of a nickname for her but tried not to let it go to her head as she replied softly, “I have appointments starting at eleven again, so I was going to get up, so I could shower… I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Her smile widened when Raven grumbled and shuffled off of her, leaving Abby free to get up. She paused by the side of the bed for a moment though, as Raven buried herself under the covers, still grumbling. Abby wanted to get back in that bed with her so badly; wanted to curl up behind Raven and snuggle her all day long, but she had appointments and surgeries scheduled, and she knew Raven was probably needed at the shop too. That didn’t stop her from thinking about it though as she pulled out a set of scrubs from her chest of drawers. She laid them on the bed, catching a little glimpse of Raven’s bare ankle sticking out from under the blanket. She couldn’t see which foot it was, but she reached out anyway, running her finger along the skin as she said, “I’m going to text Clarke about dinner tonight. What time should I tell her to meet me, uh, us?”

She could hear Raven grumbling again then, even through the covers, and Abby thought she might have to get back in the bed just to get an answer. Eventually, Raven’s head emerged from under the blankets though, and what Abby saw made her pause. Raven’s hair was a wild mass of tangles and knots, static causing it to stick out at funny angles. Raven’s expression was sour too, and Abby nearly laughed at how petulant the look was, but reigned in her amusement when Raven complained, “Tell me again why we have to do this tonight?”

Sighing, Abby moved back onto the bed then, needing to be closer to Raven as she explained, “Because Clarke’s heat should be over today, and I, for one, don’t want to run the risk of her figuring it out on her own.” She hoped she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt. She tried to cover up the shaking of her hands by light stroking the skin of Raven’s ankle some more. Raven laughed though, and that was when Abby realized that Raven couldn’t actually feel her touch. She didn’t let it spoil her intentions however, instead sliding her hand up along Raven’s skin until she felt Raven sigh. With her hand lightly gripping just above Raven’s knee, she finally continued, saying, “I just want us to have a chance at getting through this without a blow up… I mean, I know you only spent a little time at your apartment yesterday, but if she smells me there, I just…”

“It’s ok, Abs… I get it. We should tell her today. It’s the right thing to do,” Raven said, essentially cutting her off, but Abby didn’t mind, because she was thinking the same thing. Abby smiled and pulled Raven into her side when she heard Raven add, “I can be done whenever you want me to be today. I finished the car I was working on yesterday, and as far as I know the only things on the schedule today are oil changes… heh… and a couple brake jobs.”

Abby was confused when Raven paused to snicker, only to push on a second later. Despite her curiosity, she didn’t dwell on it, simply squeezing Raven a little tighter as she said, “Ok then… How about seven, at that new place… Marco’s on 10th, between 22nd and 23rd?”

Raven pressed into her embrace, and Abby smiled as Raven easily replied, “That sounds fine to me.”

As reluctant as she was to get up, Abby knew she was wasting valuable shower time by lingering, and eventually, she talked herself into leaving the bed and Raven’s embrace. She wasn’t quite ready to leave Raven alone yet though, and quickly shuffled over to the closet to search through her clothes, looking for something to wear to dinner. She could feel Raven watching her, but she didn’t turn back towards the bed until she’d chosen her intended outfit; a not-too-fancy, blue blouse and a pair of black skinny slacks. She left them on the hanger for the moment, moving them out of the closet to hang on the back of the bedroom door so she wouldn’t forget them later.

When she finally turned back to Raven, she found her mate sitting up in the bed, staring at her with a goofy grin on her face. Even with Raven still looking at her though, Abby could tell Raven was miles away, probably daydreaming again. She didn’t want to interrupt whatever was going on in Raven’s head either, as whatever it was, was obviously pleasant, so she made her way toward the bathroom instead. She heard Raven start grumbling again, and then a shuffling in the covers, so when she reached the bathroom door, she glanced back to find Raven watching her walk away; that goofy grin gone, replaced with a hunger Abby felt all too familiar with. Obviously, Raven liked something she was seeing, so Abby added a little extra swish to her hips as she made her way through the doorway, calling out over her shoulder, “Well, are you coming or are you gonna sit just there with that look on your face?”

Abby kept moving into the bathroom, even as she heard Raven grumble all over again, barley making the words out as she turned the shower on, “Oh, I’ll show you who’s coming.”

A moment later, Abby heard Raven hobbling towards the bathroom and Abby turned just in time to see Raven stretch her arms out over her head. The elongation put all of Raven’s assets on display, and Abby felt her mouth water at the sight; pert, young breasts peeking out in her direction, the line of Raven’s abs drawing her gaze down to trail over the ‘V’ at the apex of her thighs. Abby quickly moved to her mate then, drawn to Raven like a moth to a flame. Raven squeaked and stumbled when their bodies pressed together, but Abby caught her before she could fall, ducking her face into the crook of Raven’s neck to breathe against her skin, “you know… I could get used to this…”

She should have known that Raven would have a snappy retort, but when Raven pressed harder into her body and said, “You better…” Abby felt her jaw drop. Raven was teasing; she knew it, but something about the way Raven said those words made Abby feel like it was a challenge instead of a joke. With all of Raven pressed against her though, Abby quickly realized that was a challenge she was more than willing to accept.

 

~~~

 

Dumbstruck, all Clarke could do was stare at her phone. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was glad she’d already read and responded to everyone else’s missed texts that morning, because even breakfast was all but forgotten when she read her mother’s message. And, having read it; she couldn’t stop reading it, over and over again, trying to figure out what her mother wasn’t saying. ‘So, you said if I ever needed to talk to let you know. This is me letting you know. Tonight, 7pm? At Marco’s on 10th? My treat, of course,’ was all it said, but there was something about it that seemed off. Maybe it was the causal tone, or the unassuming expectation of it all, and Clarke couldn’t help thinking that her mother was deliberately hiding something. Somehow, she knew the sudden need to talk had everything to do with the ‘twenty-something omega’ her mother had met the weekend before, but she couldn’t figure out why the mystery woman was such a big deal.

Of course, Abby had said the woman was complicated, or maybe she had said the situation was complicated; Clarke couldn’t remember, but either way, the details didn’t matter. What mattered, was that her mother was asking for her help and Clarke was nervous to actually give it to her, worried she might not want to hear what her mother had to say about this omega and her ‘complications.’ She would never admit it, but there was just a tiny part of her that was selfish, that wanted her mother to be alone forever for divorcing her father. That small part was always the one that whispered to her in her nightmares too, telling her that if he and Abby had still been together, then maybe things would have different. Maybe, he wouldn’t have died.

Clarke never gave voice to those thoughts though, because she knew that that was just the petty little girl inside her, wishing they could just go back to the way things used to be. She’d known for a long time, there was no going back; that little girl was gone, and Clarke knew she really should just let her go. Knowing that all that didn’t make it any easier to actually do that though, but when she glanced over her shoulder and saw Lexa was rummaging around in the kitchen, gathering the cream and sugar for their coffees, things became clearer. Clarke didn’t really want to go back, especially not if that meant that she might not meet Lexa. It was a difficult thing to think, that she would so easily trade one love for another, but her love for Lexa seemed so easy and perfect that Clarke couldn’t imagine not knowing her, not being with her. Besides, she knew her father would want her to be happy; he wouldn’t want her to ruin something could worrying about ‘what-if’s?’ Those worries were much easier to ignore as she watched Lexa carefully pour the cream out into a small carafe and dollop the sugar into a dish. Lexa had this effortless way about her that Clarke wasn’t sure she’d ever seen in another person before. She just wished she had some of that calm when it came to her mother. A sudden thought hit her; she could have that calm with her, if she’d just ask, so she quickly called out, “Hey! What time do you have to be at Polaris tonight?”

As Lexa’s sharp jawline was revealed, Clarke couldn’t help smiling. It was just a quick nod her way though, Lexa calling back, “They open at ten, but I should probably be there around nine or nine-thirty… Why?”

Actually glad, that Lexa wasn’t looking at her, Clarke took a deep breath before she explained, “Well, my mom wants to have dinner with me tonight, ‘cause she says she needs to talk… and I thought maybe you’d like to come too. Do you— do you want to go with me? Be my buffer, maybe?” She knew she sounded nervous, but she hoped Lexa would join her anyway. As much as it would be nice to have someone else for her mother to focus on, she didn’t really want to miss out on time she could be spending with Lexa, especially if her mother didn’t mind if she brought Lexa. She had to get Lexa to agree first though; she wouldn’t even bring it up to her mother if Lexa turned her down. She wouldn’t really blame Lexa either, it was sure to be an awkward evening; to say the least.

The longer Lexa pondered, the more Clarke prepared for rejection, but eventually, Lexa simply turned back into the fridge, muffling her voice a little as she asked, “Did she invite me? Or did you?”

Despite the muffling, Clarke heard the trepidation in Lexa’s voice, and quickly said, “I did, but I wanted to ask you first, before I brought it up to Mom, that way if you said ‘no’ she’d never have to know.” She laughed a little then, suddenly thinking how ridiculous it would be, texting her mom and saying, ‘Hey can I bring _your_ friend to dinner with us?’ She knew it was reaching, but really, she didn’t have to be the one to text her mother at all. She decided to go for it anyway, quietly adding, “Or, you know… you could just text her yourself.”

She should have known better than to hope for that though, because Lexa quickly glanced over her shoulder again and said, “Yeah, that’s not happening.” It wasn’t meant to be rude or hurtful, Lexa’s tone was far too playful for her words to be taken the wrong way. Clarke just smiled at her as Lexa continued to turn, cream carafe and sugar bowl in hand as she said, “But… if you want me to be there, and it’s ok with Abby, then I’ll be there. I should probably get food before… I go to Polaris.” Clarke thought she heard Lexa’s voice falter a little, but then her suspicions where made into reality when Lexa’s shoulders slumped. Trying to give her a little privacy, Clarke looked away, only to hear Lexa grumble under her breath, “Why did I even let myself get talked into this?”

Turning fully towards Lexa then, Clarke found her leaning over the counter, palms pressed flat against the surface, her head hanging between her outstretched arms. She wasn’t sure she should, but she knew she just couldn’t sit by and do nothing while Lexa suffered. She got up slowly anyway though, not wanting to startle Lexa as she moved, and only when she was close, did she start murmuring sweetly, “Lexa, I’m sure you’re going to be great… You said yourself, Wednesday nights are the slow nights, and I’ll be there, so you’ll have a nice distraction if it gets to be too much… You’re gonna be fine…” She paused for just a second before she wrapped both arms around Lexa from behind, resting her head between Lexa’s shoulders. Lexa pressed back into her, sighing as they moved closer, and Clarke couldn’t stop herself from placing a quick kiss on the tattoo on back of Lexa’s neck. She felt Lexa’s anxiety drift away almost instantly, and she quickly loosened her grip, urging Lexa to spin in her arms with a bump of her hip. She laughed a little as Lexa immediately took the hint, pulling them even closer together when they were finally chest to chest. The position gave Clarke an enticing view too, and she quickly nuzzled into the side of Lexa’s neck. “You—are—gonna—be—great!” Clarke mumbled as she made her way up to Lexa’s lips, punctuating each word with a kiss until she reached her goal.

The first kiss to Lexa’s lips was a sweet little peck, but the next wasn’t. Clarke pushed into Lexa as deep as she could with that kiss, filling it with heat and passion, but also with so much love and care that she and Lexa both found themselves breathless in mere moments. She resisted her body’s need for air as long as she could, but eventually, she finally had to pull back to breathe. She was a little surprised to find Lexa smirking at her, even as she also panted trying to catch her breath. The way Lexa’s eyes were lit up, but dark all at once, made shivers run down Clarke’s spine. Still, she tried not to swoon as Lexa whispered, “If that’s the response I’m going to get, I think I might be self-conscious more often, instead of less.”

Lexa’s playful tone firmly back in place, Clarke simply swatted at Lexa’s shoulder, trying not to focus on the way her cheeks heated at Lexa’s words. She very much enjoyed kissing Lexa; it was comforting and exhilarating and sexy, and she didn’t really need an excuse to keep doing it, but if Lexa was going to give her more opportunities, she wasn’t going to complain either. She laughed as Lexa rolled her eyes and spun towards the dining table again, quickly carrying the cream and sugar over to the table. Clarke followed, despite her laughter, and the hungry part of her watched as Lexa’s hips swayed as she made her way back to the table. A moment later, she found Lexa watching her too, eyes fixed on her chest as she settled in her chair. She smiled at the attention too, happy that Lexa seemed happy. She needed a distraction though; she needed a way to keep herself from just pushing her way across the table and into Lexa’s lap. She didn’t want to, but with few options, she quickly scooped up her phone. She read over her mom’s text one more time before she typed in, ‘Ok but can I bring Lexa? She says she knows you, that you guys are friends?’ She winced as she reread her own message, cringing at how awkward it sounded, but she tried not second guess herself too much, figuring she ought to just send it before her coffee got too cold to enjoy anyway.

 

~~~

 

Standing at the sink, Raven was staring at her neck as she brushed her teeth. She was surprised to see that the bruising had already begun to turn, the deep purple giving way to a much lighter shade of red. The places where Abby’s teeth had broken her skin were already sealed over too and were well on their way to healing, after only two days. She thought it was probably some chemical reaction that made mating marks heal so quickly, but she didn’t get much of a chance to think about that, Abby’s voice drawing her out of her head. With the toothbrush going in her mouth, and her louder-than-normal thoughts though, Raven couldn’t make all of the words out. She poked her head out of the bathroom door, searching for Abby as she mumbled, “Wha—Chu—Say?” around her mouthful of suds.

She found Abby perched on the edge of the bed, staring at her phone, and Raven could instantly tell she was agonizing over whatever Clarke had said in reply to her dinner invitation. She smiled though when Abby looked up at her and grinned. Raven was sure she looked ‘goofy’ again, toothpaste foam dripping down towards her chin, but she didn’t mind, not when Abby looked at her like that. “Finish up and then we can talk,” Abby replied eventually, before glancing back down at her phone. Raven dipped back into the bathroom then too, eager to get back to Abby and whatever Clarke had said. Turning the faucet on, she spit in the sink a couple times, and rinsed her brush. She smiled as she slid it back into the holder on the counter, right in next to Abby’s. She kept smiling too, as she pulled the hand towel off its towel rod, drying her hands and face as she made her way back into the bedroom. When she pulled the towel away from her face, she found Abby still looking at her phone, so she simply crossed to the bed and sat next to Abby and waited. Eventually, Abby just handed her the phone, and Raven read Clarke’s response for herself.

The idea of having Lexa there for their big reveal didn’t really make Raven feel one way or another, but she nearly flinched when Abby finally looked up at her again. Abby’s eyes were filled with such doubt and worry that Raven couldn’t help but feel the way Abby ached. She scooted a little closer then, bringing her hand to rest against Abby’s cheek as she said, “Just hear me out… maybe, it would be nice for Lexa to be there… She would give Clarke a buffer… I’m sure that’s what Clarke’s thinking anyway, and I’m ok with that… especially if she thinks that what she needs. And… I don’t really know Lexa very well, or at all, but if she and Clarke are going to be together, and I’m gonna be with you, then I think we should change that, don’t you?”

Thankfully, her rambling hit all the right spots, and she smiled as Abby relaxed into her touch and said, “That— That makes sense, I guess… I mean, I almost told Lexa about us on Sunday anyway… She called to discuss her relationship with Clarke, and how I fit into that, but one thing led to another, and I almost ended up saying you name anyway. I didn’t though… I didn’t want to put that on Lexa. I didn’t want her to start her relationship with Clarke with such a secret to keep. I’m sure she’ll be pretty floored by what’s happened between us too, but she’s always been pretty stoic, or maybe… maybe stalwart is a good way to describe her, solid on the outside, even if she’s falling apart inside, you know?” Raven felt a lot less self-conscious about her own rambling as Abby mused along. Even when Abby got more animated and Raven had to give up her hold on Abby’s cheek, she still didn’t have the heart to stop her as Abby just kept going. She held Abby’s hand instead, as she began to share the sad story of how she had first met Lexa and Anya. She smiled though, when that story quickly moved into how they had all become friends afterwards, sharing grief and joy all the same. Raven even asked a few questions here and there, but she mostly just listened quietly as Abby went on and on, explaining how she and Anya had helped Lexa to come back from the brink of giving up on life altogether.

Abby’s explanation revealed a lot too; not just about who Lexa was, but about Abby herself as well. Some things that Raven wasn’t even sure Abby knew about herself. Abby’s innate sense of dedication was one of those things; Abby was the sort of person that she hadn’t just been a part of, but had been leading, a mate-loss support group for almost six years. Abby was so dedicated to those people and her work with them, that she’d sacrificed even more of her own time to befriend Anya and Lexa. All because she could tell they were hurting, and she thought she could help. Raven had already known Abby to be unbelievably kind and caring, but that Anya and Lexa had started as complete strangers to Abby gave her such hope for their own future. She found herself so-damn-happy to be where she was; her feelings for Abby growing more and more every moment they were together. She wouldn’t call it love, not yet, but she definitely felt well on her way.

Eventually, after Abby had sort of talked herself out, Raven finally suggested, “How about you tell Clarke she can bring Lexa if she wants, maybe even use the word ‘buffer,’ too. That way Clarke can see you’re both on the same page.” Abby seemed relieved by the suggestion, if still a little nervous. When Abby turned back to her phone, brow furrowed in concentration, Raven quickly shuffled over to her bag, intent on pulling out some clothes for work. Mostly, she was just trying to keep herself from invading Abby’s privacy, not wanting to watch over her shoulder as she texted Clarke back.

Slipping into her bra and underwear was quick enough, but she struggled for a moment getting her jeans on over her brace. With them finally buttoned though, she was just pulling an old ‘Ark Towing & Service’ shirt on when she heard Abby sigh behind her. Getting her shirt settled took only another second, and she turned back to Abby just in time to hear Abby say, “Do you want to go shopping with me on Saturday?”

That was a random question, and Raven barely held in her curiosity as she made her way back to Abby, still perched on the edge of the bed. The tender look in Abby’s eyes drew her words out of her anyway though, and she stuttered as she said, “S-s-shopping?”

Abby’s soft laugh felt warm, and Raven settled in beside her with a sigh as Abby replied, “New bedroom furniture. I think it’s well past time for an update… I mean, this furniture is fine, but it’s mine, you know, and I— I kinda want some that’s ours, instead…” Abby’s words were just as soft as her laugh, and Raven was filled with emotion as the sweet, hopeful tone rolled over her. What Abby wasn’t saying felt best of all though; Abby didn’t just want Raven to move in with her. Abby wanted Raven to help her turn _her_ place into _their_ home. Raven didn’t get a chance to reply though as Abby quickly added, “And… when we’re done in here, maybe we could update a couple other rooms too. I’ve always hated that ugly rug in the dining room.”

Raven wanted that, wanted to make Abby’s home her own, _their_ own, but she knew that having new things meant dealing with money, and money was another one of those things they hadn’t talked about yet. At just the thought, Raven could feel her head spinning, immediately thinking that Abby would want to keep their money separate, because Abby obviously had a lot more than Raven did. She couldn’t help the sort of choking laugh she let out, as she thought about Abby’s nice car and nice house and nice things. It was strange, suddenly realizing that the nicest thing she owned was her brace, and she’d had to design and build the damn thing herself. Somehow, she pushed past her anxiety though, determined not to let her worries to get the better of her again, and finally said, “Abs… doesn’t redecorating usually take money?”

Abby’s sheepish smile was a little unexpected, but Raven didn’t let it distract her as Abby replied, “Raven… I own this place, outright, bought and paid for… With two incomes in the house, I’m sure we won’t have any problem financing just about anything we would want to change, either redecorating… or even remodeling.” Hearing that slight hesitation in Abby’s voice, Raven tensed, readying herself for the other shoe to drop, but when it did, she wasn’t quite sure how to react to it. She mostly just stared dumbfoundedly at her mate as Abby added, “Actually, there’s something I’ve been thinking about getting installed… something that might make life a little easier… I think we should talk about having a stair lift put in.” Raven tensed further at just thought, imagining a bulky chair lift as it slowly droned its way up the stairs. It would be loud and obnoxious; an absolute eyesore, one that she would absolutely refuse to use. Abby seemed to read everything thought she was having, continuing on through the tension, saying, “It would have to be discreet though… maybe, just like a foot pedal or something you could stand on. I know better than to think you’d use one of those chair lifts they put in elderly people’s homes… I mean, you wouldn’t even have to use it all the time, you know? You’d just have the option, if you needed it…” By the time Abby finished her little speech, Raven was already feeling her brief flash of apprehension drift away. It was when Abby finally looked up at her, with those soft eyes and that hopeful smile, that she felt herself smile too. It didn’t take much for her to believe what Abby was saying; all Abby wanted was something to make it easier for her on hard days.

Of course, her technical brain piped up then, ‘But… nobody makes a stair lift like that.’ That thought only got her gears turning harder, so to speak, and she figured she could always just try to design it herself. After all, that had worked out pretty well with her brace. “How hard could it be?” Raven mused aloud then, too wrapped up in thinking on technical aspects, to even realize she spoken. She started muttering to herself after that, totally lost in her speculations; what gear ratio she would need to use to not over tax the motor on the uphill climb, and what kind of brake she could use for the descent. She figured they’d probably have to widen the staircase walls the accommodate the drive chain too, and that she hoped there was a decent sized crawlspace underneath the house for motors and such.

Abby’s laugh brought her out of her thought yet again, just in time to hear Abby say, “Raven, you don’t have to do all the work yourself... We can hire a contractor for the heavy lifting and construction… There’s a basement too, not a crawlspace, but still, there’s almost nothing down there… the water heater, and the washer and dryer… some of Clarke’s old things, but I’m sure any of that stuff can be moved.”

Feeling a little more than overwhelmed, Raven turned to Abby then, eyes filling with tears, but they were tears of joy. She didn’t let them fall though. Instead, she gathered herself a little, swallowing a big gulp of air before she said, “I think that sounds great Abby, but it’ll have to be a custom job, like lot-of-money type of job… I— I’ve looked at stair lifts before, and they’re all the big, bulky chair ones. Nobody makes anything even close to what you’re thinking…”

“Raven, don’t worry about the money… What’s mine is yours, and what’s yours is _yours,_ right?” Abby said then, laughing and holding her arms open. Raven was sure that wasn’t how that saying was supposed to go, but she gratefully pressed herself into Abby’s embrace anyway. If Abby was making jokes like that, it had to be a good sign, but Raven didn’t have to wonder what she meant for long. Abby drove her point home a moment later, as she softly added, “And… I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Raven felt her affection for Abby swell then, almost beyond her limits of actually feeling it. Before the moment could totally overwhelm her again though, Abby let her go, but Raven smiled when she realized the feeling was lingered, like Abby had wrapped her in warm blanket to keep her safe until she was back in Abby’s arms.

Movement caught her attention, and she watched as Abby pulled her phone out from under her thigh. When she saw the reply from Clarke pop up, she turned away, again trying to give Abby some privacy. She needed have bothered though, Abby’s voice sounding hopeful as she relayed the message, saying softly, “Clarke and Lexa will meet us at Marco’s at seven… She said she’s looking forward to meeting you.”

 

~~~

 

“Ok, so, Mom says it would _nice_ if you came, that you can be our buffer… her word, not mine… I mean, listen to the way she worded this, ‘We’d be delighted to have Lexa along. It would be nice for us to have buffer anyway, in case, tempers flare. Remember when you meet her, I already told you she’s a lot younger than me…” Clarke rambled as she stared at her phone, re-reading the message for the third time. Her mother’s words seemed too calculated, too perfect, and she couldn’t help wondering aloud, “It’s just weird, right?” She glanced up from her phone, looking at Lexa for only a second before grabbing her coffee cup. She threw down the last sip, wetting her whistle, before she added, “I mean, I can’t believe she’s actually bringing someone to meet me. I guess it must be serious, but really, how serious can it be aft—” Clarke cut herself off there though, because she realized she about to say something she really didn’t believe. She knew how serious things could get in such a short amount of time. The way she felt about Lexa was certainly serious. She glanced up at Lexa again then, only to find Lexa smirking at her, like Lexa knew exactly what she was about to say and why she had stopped.

That smirk stayed settled over Lexa’s lips as she replied, “I’m sure whoever this woman is, you’re not going to think she’s good enough for your mom, but just try to remember that you want her to be happy...” Lexa’s words trailed off, but it seemed like she was just pausing for dramatic effect when she continued a second later, adding in a joking tone, “Of course, that’s assuming you do in fact want her to be happy…”

Clarke rolled her eyes at that, mostly because she knew Lexa was right. Despite Lexa’s rightness though, she couldn’t help herself from spilling out, “I do I want her to be happy… It’s just… it’s gonna take some getting used to… the whole idea of my mom being with someone who isn’t my dad, you know? As far as I know she hasn’t dated anyone since they were together, this seriously at least, and even though he’s gone, part of me will always wish they could get back together. Part of me will always want to go back to being that happy family… the one that took pictures together in the park and went camping together, and that, you know, just did things together…” She managed to get that far before she could feel tears prickling at the backs of her eyelids. She knew there was more to be said though, so she pushed past them, swallowing hard against the lump forming in her throat, before she quietly added, “I know that’s crazy… and I know you’re right… I want her to be happy and if… if this twenty-something omega is what makes her happy, then I’ll try to be happy about it, too… no matter how weird it feels…”

Lexa was still smiling at her when she looked up once again, and Clarke returned it a little uneasily, as Lexa replied, “Sometimes that’s all we can do, just try… Anyway, what are your plans in the mean time?”

That was a question she definitely didn’t want to hear, because Clarke didn’t want to think about the rest of her day. She _really_ didn’t want to go back to work. Niylah had already threatened to fire her, and she knew all it would take was not showing up when she was supposed to and Niylah would do it. She felt too much loyalty towards Niylah to do that to her boss though. She was sure her early heat had really thrown a wrench into the week’s schedule, and generally, Niylah didn’t like it when things changed. So, shifting the whole schedule around had probably been a bigger headache than Clarke really knew. The only thing that had gotten Clarke off the hook was that she had promised she would come in that day at eleven, whether her heat was over or not, and do the stocking and inventory. It was the one thing Niylah hated the most about the responsibilities they shared, so Clarke had gladly taken it on, if for no other reason than some bonus points and a little job security. But, if the urgency of Niylah’s texts from that morning were any indication, Clarke was in for a long six hours.

Apparently, Niylah had gone a little crazy while she was away, searching for an expensive brush set that they had special ordered for a customer. From the picture, it looked like Niylah had turned the stock room into a disaster area while she’d been looking for it. Clarke had known exactly where to look for it; she’d placed it under the front counter before she left on Saturday afternoon. She’d even gone so far as to text Niylah to let her know where she had put it. Obviously, Niylah had missed that, and when Clarke pointed that out, Niylah’s reply to that message had been borderline threatening again, ‘See, this is what happens when you’re gone for more than a day or two… Guess that’s why I can’t just fire you…’

Eventually, a clearing throat drew her from her thoughts, only for Clarke to realize Lexa was still staring at her, waiting for an answer to the question Clarke had nearly forgotten she’d asked. She smiled shyly then, trying to sound apologetic as she muttered, “I— I have to go into work for a while… My boss is passive-aggressively threatening to fire me at this point.”

As expected, Lexa chuckled at that and Clarke laughed with her a little as Lexa replied, “Yeah, you did kinda drop off the face of the planet with me for the last three days.”

“I explained the situation to Niylah on Sunday before I came here,” Clarke defended, glowering when Lexa simply laughed harder at her pouty lip trick.

“Yes, and when she texted you on Monday, didn’t you say something like, ‘God, just fire me already,” Lexa joked back, eyes going a little glassy. It didn’t take much for Clarke to figure out what she was thinking about; she remembered that moment quite well too.

She huffed though, knowing she couldn’t let Lexa get one over on her like that. She adopted an almost haughty tone as she pushed back, “Yeah, well… it was really hard to think about what she wanted when you kept rocking your hips like that, your knot still inside me no less. I mean, a girl can only multitask so well.”

“Hey! I didn’t hear you complaining at the time,” Lexa barked then, and for a moment, Clarke thought she actually looked a little offended, but then Lexa just moved into her space and kissed her, hard. Clarke couldn’t help but get swept up into it too, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s shoulders and pulling her closer. She felt Lexa’s hands paw at her hips as well, and when Lexa’s fingers met the bruises she had left on her hips, Clarke groaned, unable to hold in the sound the pain caused. It was a good pain though; a sharp sort of ache that reminded her of some of the best sex of her life. It was also enough to snap Clarke out of the haze she had started dipping into while they’d been kissing though. She had responsibilities, and Lexa probably needed time to prepare for work too. She groaned again as she started to pull away, not wanting to stop kissing Lexa but knowing they should. Thankfully, it seemed Lexa had the same sense, quietly saying, “I love you,” before it was Lexa that finally separated them.

Clarke noticed instantly how awkward and uncomfortable Lexa seemed then, but instead of letting it put her off, Clarke simply cupped both sides of Lexa’s jaw with her hands and pulled Lexa’s lips back to her own. It was much different from their last kiss; all soft and sweet, filled with affection and love, not just passion. Clarke hoped it was reassuring too, feeling how tense Lexa was in the set of her jaw. When she felt Lexa sigh into the kiss, she smiled against Lexa’s lips before pulling back a little to say, “I love you too.” Unable to resist those lips, she pressed in for one more kiss, before pulling away again, firming her resolve as she added, “I gotta go finish getting dressed though… so, I can get this day over with, so then we can get this dinner over with, and then we can get your night at Polaris over with, so we can be back right here later...” She knew she sounded presumptuous, just assuming that Lexa would want her to spend the night again, especially after the last four nights together, but when Lexa just grinned at her, she knew she didn’t have anything to worry about. Or, at least, she didn’t have to worry about that.

 

~~~

 

That day, ten hours felt more like ten weeks. It was all the waiting that had really made it feel that way, and Abby knew that, but every moment of down time she’d had that day, she’d spent it waiting, and worrying, anyway. She was so stressed and tense that she was early to the restaurant too, so that meant she was in for more waiting. Thankfully, she’d only been sitting in the parking lot for a minute or two before Raven pulled in the spot beside her. She was beyond grateful that Raven hadn’t made her wait long, because honestly, she’d been waiting for this moment all day. She smiled as she got out of her car, finally feeling that knot in her stomach loosen just a little bit. She was still nervous about what was about to happen, but just having Raven close by made some of her anxiety subside.

When she came around the end of Raven’s truck, Abby hadn’t really known what to expect. Raven had had to go by her apartment to pick up something to wear to dinner, but when she saw the cross-body neck line of Raven’s top, she nearly choked. One of her shoulders was covered in a slinky blue-black fabric, but the other was completely bare. When Raven turned towards her, her hair swept over her clothed shoulder, and Abby did choke then, because there it was; her mark on Raven’s neck, plain as day for everyone to see. She was shocked, to say the least, but as Raven sashayed towards her, she couldn’t help herself as she stuttered, “I— I guess s-subtly isn’t your strong suit, huh?”

She instantly regretted how harsh her words sounded though, as Raven’s face fell, and her steps faltered. Abby reached out for her on instinct, wanting to steady her, wanting to apologize, but she drew herself up short when she heard Raven say, “I— I thought you’d like it. I thought that if we got to the point where neither one of us could say it, that we could just, you know, show it… maybe… maybe that was stupid…” Raven’s words sounded so dejected, almost jaded, and Abby didn’t have the willpower to stop herself from moving towards Raven then. Still, she forced herself to be cautious, tentatively bringing her hands up from her sides as she closed the distance between them, not wanting to make Raven feel cornered. She simply wanted to offer comfort if Raven wanted it.

Apparently, Raven did want it too, taking the last step between them herself, the urgency of the movement drawing a huff from Abby as their bodies collided. There was a brief moment of relief then, as Raven clutched tightly around her neck, but all too quickly, Abby realized Raven was pushing away just as much as she was pulling close. It wasn’t relief that Abby felt emanating from Raven; it was more like resigned acceptance, and that just wouldn’t do. Abby quickly tried to apologize, only getting so far as, “Raven, I’m sorry. I didn’t—” before Raven interrupted.

“I know you didn’t…” Raven spat then, and Abby tried not to flinch at Raven’s harsh tone. Not knowing what else to say, Abby just sighed, and pulled Raven closer, whispering, “I’m sorry,” again into the top of Raven’s head before falling silent. Raven was quiet for a long time too, but at least Abby could take comfort in the fact that Raven didn’t try pull away from her. If anything, Raven sank deeper into her arms as time went on, until ultimately, most of Raven’s weight was resting against her. That close it wasn’t hard to tell when Raven’s gloom started to pass, and as such, Abby wasn’t the least bit surprised when Raven eventually said, “I’ll forgive you… on one condition…”

The change in Raven’s voice was almost palpable; where there had been a bite before, there was only a playful sort of spite, so Abby decided to play along, quickly saying, “Oh yeah? And what would that be?”

“Admit how great this top looks on me, and I’ll forget all about how rude you were just now,” Raven snarked then, and honestly, Abby couldn’t think of a better deal than that. She pulled back a little to appraise Raven’s top again, hoping to continue the playful mood, but she groaned when she spotted all that exposed skin right under her nose. She’d been trying not to think about it; what it felt like under her fingertips, what it tasted like, but that close she couldn’t resist. Before she knew what she was doing, she was crowding Raven back towards the side of her truck, nuzzling her face into Raven’s exposed shoulder, kissing and nipping at the skin. Raven gasped against the side of her head, but the sound only drove Abby on as she let her mouth do the talking for her; grazing Raven’s collarbone with her lips before dragging her teeth over Raven’s skin, working her way up as she went. When her lips finally touched the edge of the bite, Raven shivered against her and Abby knew if she didn’t stop, Raven was going to melt into a puddle right in front of her. She could already feel how turned on Raven was, from just a little nuzzling and kissing, but if they got carried away, she knew they’d end up in the back of her car instead of inside the restaurant with Clarke and Lexa. Telling Clarke would be hard enough without the added complication of standing her up because she and Raven were having sex in the parking lot.

However reluctantly, Abby finally managed to pull her lips away from Raven’s skin, but only far enough to whisper, “You look… incredible,” before touching her lips to skin again. A violent shudder rolled down Raven’s spine then, and Abby had to fight down the groan that bubbled in her chest at the feeling of Raven trembling with desire against her. Instead, she tried to steer them back in the right direction, smiling as she whispered jokingly, “although, I can’t believe a respectable mechanic like you would drive such a hunk of junk.”

Raven grunted and shifted against her, but Abby noted the dry smirk on Raven’s lips just before she snarked, “Just because she looks a little beat up on the outside, doesn’t mean she doesn’t work just fine on the inside… Besides, she’s not just some old truck. Val is a 1978 Ford Custom. She’s a classic.”

Smiling at the return of Raven’s confident tone, Abby snarked right back at her, saying, “Val, huh? I like it… but I think I’d like her a lot more if she had airbags.”

Snickering at Raven’s huff, Abby soon found herself backed up against the side of Val, Raven pressed against her front; a fierce, smoldering look in Raven’s eyes as they fixed on her own. The sudden shift was nothing compared to what Raven said then though, “Well, she may not have air bags, but she’s all steel… solid and hard. Can you say the same about your little AMG?” Abby was too shocked by the blatant innuendo to even gasp, before Raven quickly added, “What about a five-foot-long bench seat that’s deep enough for two? Or, how about an adjustable tailgate? Locks in three different positions for easy access…” The images those words brought to mind should have been pleasing, but instead, they left a bit of a bad taste in Abby’s mouth. She tried not to, but when she imagined Raven doing the things she was alluding to; it wasn’t her, but some other faceless person enjoying those amenities with Raven.

A sudden wave of jealousy coursed through her and she quickly flipped them, so Raven’s back was to the truck again. She instinctually pressed into Raven’s neck then, her alpha demanding to know for sure that Raven was indeed hers. When her lips met skin, she immediately latched on, reconfirming their connection. Raven gasped and shook, but didn’t protest, instead blurting out a husky, “fuck, yes…” as Abby pressed her teeth in against Raven’s skin.

The words made Abby shiver with desire too, but a honking horn drove a whole other type of shudder down her spine. She just managed to focus on the world around her again, as someone shouted, “Get a room!” The voice sounded sort of familiar, but Abby couldn’t place it, especially not with the way her blood was rushing between her ears. The shout caused Raven to gasp and buck against her too, only making her blood rush faster, but it wasn’t much a stretch to figure out that Raven was actually more turned on just by the idea of someone seeing them. That was certainly an interesting prospect to explore later, but Abby could feel it deep down; she knew that voice. Young… female… loud… With each thought, new images flashed through her mind, and Abby nearly panicked thinking of Clarke walking up on them in their current position. Abby pulled back quickly then but brought her hand up to cup her mark over Raven’s neck when Raven whined at the loss of contact. Still breathing a little heavy, Abby glanced around, making sure they were still alone before she managed to croak out, “We should, uh, yeah…”

It was only a second before Raven agreed, croaking back at her, “Yeah, we should, because I’m this close to…” Raven didn’t even have to finish, because Abby had been pretty close too; she was still close to just saying fuck it and opening Val’s door and shuffling her omega up inside. She pulled further away from Raven then, hoping a little distance might help her maintain some modicum of control.

Raven’s scent swirled into the air between them instead, and Abby nearly groaned when the sticky, sweet scent of Raven’s arousal hit her senses. “I know, I can smell you,” Abby whispered then, blushing a little at her own words. She wasn’t sure why it made her feel so naughty to admit it, but the smell of Raven’s arousal was filling her head with a whole new set of images; laying Raven out on the bench seat of her truck, stripping off her pants and licking Raven’s legs from one end to the other; bending Raven over the lowered tailgate, pulling her jeans down just enough to get inside and pushing Raven over the edge with her fingers.

While Raven’s scent was nearly driving Abby crazy, Raven’s next words nearly broke her; her mind skittering off in twenty different directions when she heard Raven huskily say, “I know… I can smell you too.”

Shaking with the effort, Abby managed to keep herself from pushing Raven back against the side of the truck, and instead, she said, “We should… before we… before I— Just come on, we should hit the bathroom before Clarke gets here anyway.” Raven’s raised eyebrow almost had Abby slapping herself when she realized what she had suggested, but rather than let Raven’s little smirk get to her, she quickly added, “So we can get cleaned up, not get dirty. Really, Raven that’s just not… sanitary.”

Raven laughed then, like honest to goodness, full-belly laughed, and the sound was like music to Abby’s ears. The sexual tension between them was suspended, at least for the moment, but as they fell into step together, making their way into the restaurant, Abby wondered if it would ever be truly broken. She found herself becoming more aware of Raven with every passing step, and by the time they got inside and into the bathroom, Abby was seriously reconsidering her aversion to throwing Raven up against one of the stall walls. Her phone buzzing in her pocket was probably the only thing that stopped her, because when she checked the message, she realized they probably only had five minutes before Clarke would arrive. That wasn’t nearly enough time for the things she wanted to do to Raven. Giving one final push down on her libido, she glanced up from her phone, catching Raven’s eyes in the mirror as she said, “T-Minus five minutes. We should, uh, get you situated at the bar before they get here.”

As Abby moved up to the dual sinks to wash her hands, Raven smiled at her through the mirror and replied, “Yeah, I think I could use a drink anyway. I’m pretty thirsty…”

A fresh wave of Raven’s scent hit her then and Abby had to clench her fists together to keep them under the running water. “ _Raven,_ ” she warned, feeling her control already being worn away again.

Raven seemed mostly unaffected by her tone though, sliding down the counter to bump her hip as she said, “Come on, let’s get out there. Wouldn’t wanna be late for our first double date, now would we?” Abby simply groaned as she followed Raven out of the bathroom then, quietly resolving herself to a long night of teasing.

They got Raven a seat at the bar easily enough, but Abby couldn’t help feeling bad for leaving Raven alone, especially because it was five after seven, and Clarke and Lexa still weren’t there. She guessed it was probably taking Clarke some time to work up the courage to come inside, but that didn’t mean it was any easier to sit there and sip at her wine glass, like she wasn’t about to jump off a cliff. It didn’t help that she could feel Raven’s nerves frazzling more and more with every second that they waited for Clarke and Lexa to appear. She was trying to keep herself from allowing Raven’s anxiety to affect her, but Raven kept glancing over at her nervously, like maybe this wasn’t a good idea anymore. Abby assumed it was a reflex, her omega checking every few seconds just to make sure she was still there, but she could feel her gut twisting into knot upon knot the longer they waited.

Eventually, Abby just fixed her gaze on the table in front of her, mostly to keep her eyes from drifting back to Raven again, but just as she started to try to relax; that’s when the shit hit the fan. She felt it before she heard it; Raven’s anxiety spiking sharply just before she heard “Oh my god, Rae! Is that you?” breaking through the cacophony of the restaurant. For just a moment, Abby froze. All she could think was, ‘This can’t be happening…’ as she heard her daughter exclaim rather loudly, “Rae?! Why— Why do you smell like… like that?”

In an instant, Abby was up, moving through the fairly crowded restaurant as quickly as she could. Raven’s anxiety was buzzing, arching inside her, and her alpha needed to comfort to her omega, immediately. She pushed past a couple of people, not rudely necessarily, but if one of them had moved further into her way, she wasn’t sure what she would have done. She could feel the eyes of every person in the room falling on them, because just as she reached them, Clarke barked, “WHY the HELL do you SMELL like my MOM?”

Raven started to sputter a reply, but Abby wasn’t going to let anyone take that tone with her mate, much less her own daughter, and she glowered at Clarke as she called back, “Clarke, you will not speak to her like that.”

The crowd became a faceless mass as Clarke spun towards her, vehement rage barely concealed by gritted, bared teeth. Abby felt herself drift to Raven’s side, eyes still locked with her daughter’s, her instincts screaming to her to protect her mate from the threat. Clarke snarled when she wrapped her arm around Raven’s shoulders, but Abby wasn’t going to back down, not to her daughter, and not to the lowly growling alpha standing behind her. Abby became vaguely aware of Lexa then though, and perceiving the new threat, she squeezed Raven closer into her side and bared her own teeth at the two of them.

A long moment of silent tension passed through the four of them, and Abby felt every second of it, like a poison slowly sinking down into her bones. It made her ache to go back in time, to make sure things didn’t happen like this, but when Clarke quietly sputtered, “You… and you… Mom, is this really happening?” she knew there was no going back.

She couldn’t help it; she grimaced at the disbelief in her daughter’s voice. Something about Clarke’s tone made her hurt in ways she never had. Clarke felt betrayed and Abby knew she was the one to make her daughter feel that way. She unwound slightly, relaxing her grip on Raven just a little bit, attempting to soften the blow as she tried to explain, “We— we’re a phased pair...”

That was as far as she got though, before Clarke’s next words sounded out, fast and cruel and harsh, “And, you think that gives you the right to mate my best friend?”

Too shocked to reply immediately, Abby just stood there for a moment, but before she could get herself together, Raven broke in, whispering quietly, “Clarke, I am hers. Just like she’s mine.”

Abby flinched then, squeezing Raven tight again when a broken growl erupted from Clarke’s lips. Raven whimpered against her side and Abby prepared herself to tear into Clarke, but when she opened her mouth to speak, Clarke held up her hand and said, “I— I can’t…”

Before Abby could say another word, Clarke turned and bolted, right out of the restaurant; probably right out of Abby’s life too.


	28. The Lost and Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok... so I know it's been almost a week since I posted anything, and I'm sorry about that. Work stuff and family stuff and yeah... Anyway, here's the next installment... Enjoy!

Barely sparing Abby and Raven a second glance, Lexa turned and followed Clarke. Abby was her friend, but Clarke was special. Not to mention, Abby seemed too consumed in her omega to put much effort into a conversation anyway, even if Lexa had known what to say. She didn’t know what she was going to say to Clarke when she caught up to her either, but that didn’t slow Lexa down one bit. She got outside, glancing quickly one way then the other, before finally spotting Clarke stomping off up the sidewalk. She rushed to catch up, but when she was almost upon her, Clarke whirled on her and nearly shouted, “Did You Know About This?!”

Skidding to a stop, Lexa looked up to find Clarke’s ire directed directly at her, and she almost whimpered as the first whiff of Clarke’s rage rolled over her. Instead, she sputtered her reply as best she could, “God, no. No, Clarke. I— I wouldn’t’ve been able to keep a secret like that from you over the last three days.” Clarke seemed to consider her answer for a second, and Lexa thought that was a good sign. Clarke was surely thinking over what she’d said, searching her tone and inflection looking for any sign of a lie, and Lexa hoped she wouldn’t find any, because it was the truth.

All Abby had told her was that she’d met someone, and that it was complicated. Although, now that Lexa was thinking about it, Abby hadn’t even said that much. She realized she had just sort of assumed that Abby had run into someone from work, or from Group, and that she’d needed to leave because it had made her uncomfortable. It wasn’t until she’d been talking to Clarke that morning that she’d figured out Abby had met someone, like with a capital ‘M.’ To be honest even, when she got that far, she hadn’t had much brainpower to devote to figuring out who Abby’s mystery woman was; she was far too involved with thoughts of Clarke to have room for much else. She wanted to explain that much to Clarke, wanted to try to explain herself in some way, but Clarke didn’t give her the chance, cutting into her thoughts as she said, “I— I think I need some time to think, Lex. I’m just— I’ve gotta go, ok? Please don’t follow me. Just go to work and I… I’ll call you later…” Before Lexa could even nod, Clarke was turning back up the sidewalk and trudging away from her again. Unable to help herself, she watched until Clarke disappeared around the next corner. When there was nothing more to see, and no more reason to stall, Lexa steadied herself, and prepared to go back into that restaurant. She would drag Abby and Raven out if she had to; kicking, screaming and all.

All Lexa could think was, ‘How could Abby do this… like _this_?’ as she made her way through the front doors into the restaurant’s foyer. She’d just gotten the door closed behind her when she heard a throat clearing. She turned towards the sound, only to nearly bump right into two people on their way out. She barked out, “Good… saves me the trouble of having to go back in there and make an even bigger scene.” Abby looked shocked and a little embarrassed, but Lexa didn’t let that soften her up though, nearly growling as she added, “What the fuck, Abby?”

Abby’s feet faltered and she stumbled, but Lexa could see the look on her face; looking every bit like she wanted to just curl up and die. In fact, Abby looked so wrung out that Lexa almost felt bad for how harsh she was being, but then Abby tried to explain, and the words really only served to make Lexa angrier. She could barely focus as Abby said, “It— it wasn’t supposed to happen like that, Lexa. Y-you have to believe me. I wouldn’t intentionally hurt Clarke like that and you know it. I… I wanted to sit her down and explain what happened and then tell her who it happened with. It was still going to be a bit of a shock, I’m sure, but it wasn’t supposed to be a slap in the face like that. I’m... I’m sorry.”

Even hearing Abby’s heartfelt apology, Lexa still felt like gnashing her teeth; still felt like spitting curses at Abby and Raven until she felt better. Usually, she had better control over that part of herself, but the way Clarke had begged her not to follow made Lexa feel like she’d taken a bullet to the chest, and that wound hurt more and more the longer Lexa had to live with it. She knew eventually she would reach her boiling point, and instead of unleashing her rage at Abby, she turned back towards the front doors and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She hoped the distance and fresh air would help clear her head, but even trying to keep herself in check, she ground out through gritted teeth, “I- am- not- the- one- you need to be explaining yourself to, Abby… Clarke was already upset about you being with someone at all, and then _this_ … This?!... I mean, Clarke’s so mixed up right now, I’m not even sure she believed me when I told her I didn’t know about… this…” She pressed on up the sidewalk then, knowing that if she didn’t put more distance between them, she would actually end up screaming at Abby right there on the street. A part of her couldn’t help hoping that Abby and Raven were following her though, because she very much wanted to be able to keep yelling at them.

It only took a few steps for her realize they were in fact following, but Lexa keep going, all the way to the corner where she’d watched Clarke disappear. She turned back on Abby and Raven there, ready to tear into them, but when she saw the state Abby was in, she drew herself up short. The way Abby’s neck was bowed suggested a great weight resting on her shoulders; the heaviness of Abby’s guilt making Lexa cringe too. It wasn’t hard to see how her harsh tone had taken a toll on her already fragile friend. If Lexa thought Abby had looked like she wanted to die earlier; Abby looked like she was actually dying, then. Soft whimpers drew her attention to raven then, and she instantly noticed how uncomfortable Raven looked, rocking back on her feet, looking like she was ready to run for her life. That was maybe the worst of it too, because Lexa didn’t even know Raven, and still she had caused the omega such distress.

Abby’s clearing throat drew Lexa’s eyes back though, and just as their eyes met, she heard Abby murmur, “Lexa… Truly, I’m sorry. You— You have to know, this is exactly why I didn’t tell you what was going on. I didn’t want to put you in middle of Clarke and I, not with a big secret like that. I didn’t want this to screw things up between you two… guess I fucked that up too… Look, if she’ll ever talk to me again, I’ll do my best to make sure she knows that you didn’t know. You two deserve a chance, just like Raven and I do…”

Every word was sincere, Lexa could tell, and rationally, logically, she knew Abby wouldn’t hurt Clarke like this, especially if it could have been avoided. She just needed to remember what she knew about Abby. She knew Abby would lay down her life to protect her daughter, if that’s what Clarke needed. She knew Abby would never have bonded with Clarke’s best friend, if her alpha had given her any choice in the matter. She knew Abby was one of the most caring, compassionate individuals she’d ever met, but knowing all those facts didn’t stop Lexa from asking, “And… and, you’re sure you’re phased?”

Startled by the vehemence of the reply she got, Lexa nearly squeaked when she heard, “What does this tell you?” Movement caught her eye too, and she glanced over at Raven just in time to see her throw her hair over her opposite shoulder, exposing the days-old mating mark on her neck. She couldn’t help staring at it; the vibrant red ring of teeth, superimposed over the deep bruise on Raven’s throat.

Her eyes snapped back to Abby though as Abby quickly jumped back in, saying, “I— I haven’t done any hormone testing or anything, but I don’t have any other explanation.”

The look on Abby’s face had become more plaintive, but it seemed, at least to Lexa, that Raven was recovering from her outburst of irritation, as she asked abruptly, “Wait? There are hormone tests for that?”

As Abby’s attention turned fully to Raven then, Lexa watched on, but she quickly became uncomfortable. With the way Abby was looking at Raven, there was no doubt in left Lexa’s mind; Abby and Raven were phased. Of course, there was desire in Abby’s eyes, because Raven was attractive, but Lexa could see the layers underneath that as well; a fierce sort of pride, and a swelling affection, that Lexa couldn’t even think about actually naming. It looked like _love_ , like true, ends-of-the-earth love, but it was almost like there was something deeper to it too, like Abby’s whole world revolved around Raven, and vice-versa. It was such a moment that, Lexa almost turned away as she heard Abby tenderly explain, “Yes, honey. There are a few hospitals out there using the same hormone tests we use for cycle tracking, to look for indicators towards phasing...” When Abby paused, Lexa cleared her throat; she couldn’t help it. She really didn’t like being the sudden third wheel with the newly mated pair, and she saw what might have been her out. She was just about to excuse herself too, when Abby suddenly turned to her and added, “Lexa… where did Clarke go?”

Frowning, Lexa didn’t quite know what to say to that, because honestly, she had no idea where Clarke might have gone. That was why she’d felt so hurt to begin with too. It wasn’t that Clarke didn’t want to see her, it was that she didn’t even know if Clarke was alright or not. She imagined Clarke, alone and wandering aimlessly in her rage and grief, not paying attention to where she was going or who might be around her. Those images drove all sorts of fears through Lexa too, making her feel like a weight of her own was crushing her as well. It was all she could do to crawl out from under it, even if it was only enough to mumble, “I— I don’t know. She said she needed time to think and that she would call me later.” She glanced at her watch almost instinctively then and groaned when she realized how much time had passed. Somehow it was nearly eight o’clock already and she still needed to try to get something to eat before going to Polaris. She wasn’t sure how successful that would be, her stomach protesting just at the thought of food, but at least if anyone would understand the need to get to work on time, it would be Abby. She figured it was as good an excuse as any to get away from the new couple too, especially because it was true, so she steeled herself a little before she said, “I , uh, I actually need to be getting to Polaris pretty soon… My first night back as the headliner, so…” She trailed off, rocking back on her heels, feeling like she wanted to bolt out of there just like Clarke had. She didn’t want to experience any more of Abby and Raven being so… together, not when all she could think about was Clarke walking away from her and out into the night. Shaking that off as best she could, she pressed on, “…so, yeah, I’m gonna go… I’ll let you know if I hear from Clarke… and, you let me know if you do, alright?”

Somehow, she knew she would be hearing from Clarke before Abby did, but Abby didn’t seem to pick up on her reluctant afterthought though, and simply said, “We will, Lexa. Good luck tonight, I know it’s got to be hard going back. Will I, uh, will I see you next week?”

Sighing, Lexa appreciated Abby’s attempt at discretion; asking if she would see her at Group or not, without actually saying it. It wasn’t like she was ashamed of needing someone to talk to sometimes, well, not anymore anyway. Still, it was nice that Abby treated the question like she was asking if they were still having dinner or drinks together; like it was just a casual get-together with a friend. She wasn’t sure how to respond though. She figured it would be a good idea to have someone to help her process her new-found relationship with Clarke, and her return to work, but she wasn’t sure she could do it with Abby in the room, not after this debacle. She decided to try to be as ambiguous as possible, leaving it up in the air as she said, “I’m not sure… I’ll have to see how I’m feeling.”

Abby seemed to notice her reluctance that time, and Lexa nearly flinched when Abby reached across the space between them and took her hand. She managed to control the impulse though, if only by concentrating on Abby’s words instead, as she said, “Ok then… This, uh, this may seem awkward, but you can still call me if you need anything… I’d still like to be your friend, if you’ll let me…”

Lexa knew Abby meant every word, that Abby still wanted them to be friends, even if she and Clarke weren’t on speaking terms for a while. It still took Lexa a moment to get her head around that idea though, knowing that wasn’t a position she wanted to put herself in with Clarke. She didn’t really want to lose her friendship with Abby either however, so she finally just said, “We’ll see, Abby, but if you‘ll excuse me…” She nodded to the both of them then, not waiting for a reply as she simply turned towards her car; and inevitably, her long, worry-filled evening at Polaris.

 

~~~

 

Mostly, Raven had been too shocked to do anything except hold herself together since they’d left the restaurant. Oddly enough, the only thing that had been able to pull her out of her spiral towards darkness, was the prospect of being able to prove what had happened to them. Maybe if they could prove they were phased, maybe Clarke would listen. Even that hope only held off the inevitable for a little while though, and by the time she got to her truck, Raven could feel her thin veneer of control slipping away. Not only was she worried about Clarke, and subsequently, Lexa as well, but what she really dreaded was separating from Abby. She had hated it before, that she and Abby hadn’t been able to arrive together, but just the thought of being away from Abby, even if only by a couple of car lengths, was especially painful. All she could feel coming from Abby herself was worry and pain too, and that just compounded the way her stomach ached.

As they walked, she felt like the only thing that was holding her upright anymore was Abby’s arm around her waist. She couldn’t believe everything had gone so wrong so quickly. She couldn’t believe how Clarke had exploded, how cruel her tone had been, how hurt she had sounded. Clarke’s shouting echoed through her head then, ‘WHY the HELL do you SMELL like my MOM?’ It wasn’t just a statement; it was an accusation, like she’d done all this on purpose. The wave of rage and betrayal that washed over her was such a bombardment, that Raven hadn’t had any way to respond at first. Then, in the end, she hadn’t been able to keep herself from making things worse anyway. If she could change anything about the whole fiasco, it was claiming Abby out loud, with Abby’s mark in clear view. She’d seen it, the moment Clarke’s eyes had zeroed in on her throat, and Raven hadn’t been able to hold in her whimper at the hurt she’d seen in those eyes. That look was still haunting her, flashing against the dark every time she blinked.

Wrapped up in her dread, she didn’t even realize Abby had ushered her all the way to her driver’s side door, until Abby murmured against the shell of her ear, “Are you sure you’re ok to drive? We could come back for Val tomorrow…”

The suggestion sparked something inside Raven, a hope that she couldn’t quite explain, and before she knew it, her mind was rapidly flashing through the possibilities. The thought of getting to ride with Abby was sorely tempting, but she worried about what she might find when they came back to get her truck. She glanced around, looking to see if she could tell whether Val would be safe or not. It wasn’t that she thought someone would steal her; nobody steals the old, loud pickup for joy-rides, but she did worry about getting towed for being illegally parked all night. She didn’t see any signs about towing enforcement, and the neighbor was a pretty good one, but still she could be sure, so she finally just said, “Do you… do you think the restaurant would be ok with it if we left her here?”

Her voice was scratchy from stress, and she was sure she sounded weak, but Raven couldn’t really bring herself to care. There was nothing she wanted more than to ride home holding Abby’s hand, maybe stealing glances or kisses at a stoplight or two. They wouldn’t talk, not yet anyway; she knew they both needed time to think before that happened, but maybe just being together would help with that. Still, they needed to actually be together for that to happen. She glanced up to meet Abby’s eyes when she heard her inhale to respond, watching Abby’s face soften with care as she said, “Why don’t you wait in my car while I run back in and ask?”

Nodding, because that was about all she could do, Raven allowed Abby to usher her around to the passenger’s side of the Mercedes then; not complaining, even in the slightest, when Abby opened the door for her and helped her inside. She dreaded Abby walking away, knowing the knot in her stomach was about to get worse, but a moment of pure relief came instead. Abby leaned into the car after her and pressed a quick, but immensely reassuring, kiss to her lips. Even when their lips parted, Abby only pulled away far enough to whisper, “I’ll be back in a minute, ok?” She nodded again, unable to trust her voice, but she did manage to return Abby’s smile when Abby finally pulled completely away.

Her relief was short lived though, because when Abby closed the car door, all her thoughts and worries and fears came rushing towards her all over again. As they began to pile up, she felt herself physically sink under their weight. ‘I should have just waited in the car all along,’ Raven thought then, feeling even more guilty for wanting to be close to Abby while they waited for Clarke and Lexa to arrive. It hadn’t occurred to her that by being in the restaurant, they ran the risk of Clarke spotting her first instead of Abby. Why she hadn’t thought of it wasn’t the problem though; the problem was now it had happened, and she and Abby were going to have to figure out a way to fix things with Clarke. She didn’t think she could handle the idea of Clarke never speaking to her again, not after everything they had been through together.

Just when she thought she couldn’t feel any worse, a sudden wave of caring affection rolled over her. Her eyes snapped up, searching for the source; searching for Abby. She couldn’t see her alpha anywhere, but that didn’t matter, Raven could _feel_ her. She realized that Abby was holding them together even though they were apart, and it was such a relief that Raven found herself actually relaxing a little. It was only another minute or so, before Abby returned anyway, a big grin on her face as she slipped into the driver’s seat. “The owner said, and I quote, ‘Not a problem, I live right upstairs. I’ll keep an eye on her for you.’ It actually helped when he realized who I was… I thought he would be upset about the scene we caused, but he was very understanding about the whole thing,” Abby said, as she slid her seatbelt on, and Raven hurried to follow suit, eager to be home. She tried not to think too hard about how much her idea of _home_ had changed in the last three days, but as Abby slipped the car into gear and began to pull out of the parking spot, Raven couldn’t help it. In such a short time, Abby had become her home and she realized that as long as she had Abby, she’d be ok; they’d be ok.

Once they were out on the road, her home embraced her too, and she sighed as Abby slipped their fingers together over the center console. Needing more though, Raven just pulled Abby’s hand into her lap. She hugged tightly to Abby’s arm too, cuddling as close to Abby as she could get. It reminded her of just days before, when they’d made a similar trip to Abby’s townhouse, only now there was a whole new set of worries on top of the old ones. Part of her wondered if they’d ever have a time where they weren’t worried about something, but with that thought came determination; a need to enjoy what they had even more.

Despite all the stress, or maybe because of it, they shared a few significant looks, and a few more-significant kisses, at red lights along the way home. It got so heated that when they finally pulled up in front of the townhouse, Raven found herself locked in Abby’s embrace, lips pressed together in one of the most passionate kisses Abby had given her. Raven allowed herself to be swept up in Abby’s passion, and she tried to reciprocate that passion as best she knew how too, pulling Abby closer with every slip of her tongue or gnash of her teeth. She was totally breathless by the time she managed to tear herself away from Abby, but a loud groan of disappointment escaped her lips anyway. She really didn’t want to stop, but she couldn’t help feeling like something seemed off. She also knew that if they kept kissing like that, she’d never figure out what was wrong.

It didn’t take her as long to figure it out as she thought it would. The second their eyes met, Raven understood perfectly. Abby _needed_ her; needed to touch her and kiss her and hold her, needed to know that Raven was still with her, come hell or high water. Abby needed her to feel grounded, needed her like she needed oxygen and nitrogen and whatever else was floating around in the atmosphere. That need only made Raven want to pull Abby closer, not push her away, so Raven followed her instincts, pulling Abby back in until their foreheads were pressed together. Abby swallowed, her mouth opening and closing like she had something she wanted to say, but Raven just shushed her, pressing a finger to Abby’s lips as she whispered, “Let’s go inside and take a shower, huh? See if we can’t relax some of those raw nerves?”

Of course, Raven hadn’t meant for her words to be overtly sexual, but the way Abby smiled at her after that, warmed Raven to the very core. It felt slightly inappropriate, being turned on when there was so much going on, but the feeling just made her squirm in her seat. She quickly realized that if they didn’t get out of the car soon, she might actually end up dragging Abby over into the back seat. All the teasing from before the restaurant, and the stress of their evening in general, were making it difficult for Raven to think past the end of her nose. Throw in Abby’s seemingly desperate need to reconnect, and Raven thought even if they made it out of the car, they might not make inside before she was begging Abby to touch her. Thankfully, Abby seemed to feel the same, quietly whispering, “come on, honey. I need you…” into the air between them, before pulling away, and slipping out of the car. Raven gave chase, scrambling out of the passenger’s seat as well, because honestly, what else could she do except follow her alpha, no matter the cost.

 

~~~

 

By the time Lexa arrived at Polaris, she felt so thoroughly mixed up in her emotions, that she was glad she had some time to just sit in the car and try to get her shit together. She’d stopped and gotten some fast food along the way, nothing healthy by any means, but at least it was something. She’d even managed to pick at it a little as she tried to calm down, but eventually, she resorted to stuffing her mouth full of burger every time she thought she was about to sob. At least, when she was chewing, she had to concentrate on not choking on her food, instead of choking back her sob. Even after she’d calmed down though, she still agonized over whether to reach out to Clarke or not. Part of her just needed to know Clarke was safe, but it didn’t take her long to realize that part of her was just selfish. Clarke was strong, resilient even, and Lexa just had to keep herself together long enough to give Clarke the space she needed. Her heart hurt though, thinking of Clarke, the woman she’d fallen so easily for, alone and in pain.

Ultimately, she decided to send a single text, just one; not something obtrusive or invading, just a short message that let Clarke know where she was if she needed anything. Still, it took Lexa three tries to get her message even close to right, and when she reread it that time, her words seemed too dry, affectionless. One more rewrite and she finally decided on, ‘I’m heading into work. I’ll put you on the guest list, just in case you still wanted to stop by.’ It felt more authentic than her other attempts; inviting without being pressuring, with no questions, so if Clarke didn’t feel like responding, there was really nothing compelling her to do so.

Without another thought, Lexa just sent it. She grimaced though, finding herself rereading it one more time, as she waited for the ‘delivered’ indicator to pop up beneath the message. When it finally did, she forced herself to take one last bite of her burger. She was actually sort of proud of herself for managing a total of six bites in all. She wrapped up the remainder of the sandwich, thinking of saving it for later, but as she swallowed her last bite, she couldn’t help feeling queasy. She pushed the wrapper down to the bottom of the garbage bag then, trying to push down her nausea too. She just needed to get through the night. She just needed to be personable enough to not piss anyone off. She just needed to do her job and then she could go home. She tried not dwell on the fact that when she did, it would probably to a devastatingly empty bed.

Of course, Titus was there to greet her at the door, and he was oddly excited. It seemed so strange to see the usually stoic beta so cheerful, but Lexa just thought he was pleased that she was there. He asked her how she was, and she answered. She lied, but she answered. She asked him how he was, and he answered, although, Lexa didn’t think he was lying. Apparently, it had been an eventful couple of days at Polaris; too bad Lexa couldn’t really concentrate on what he was saying. That is, until she heard him say, “Ryder and I took all Quint’s stuff out of the booth this morning. We didn’t know what to do with it, so we just boxed it all up and moved it to the back… I doubt he’ll be coming for it anytime soon anyway.”

“Oh, yeah? Why’s that?” Lexa mused, trying to sound interested, but mostly just excited by the prospect of not having to share the booth with a sleaze-bag like Quint.

“You didn’t hear me?” Titus asked confusedly then, and Lexa at least had the decency to look sheepish as she shook her head. Titus didn’t seem too upset though as he repeated himself, “He got really drunk Monday night after we closed and then tried to drive home. That’s his third DUI in under a year. He’ll probably be spending some time on house arrest… if he’s lucky enough to avoid actual jail time.”

“Wow,” was all Lexa could say as she processed that. She was a little put off by Titus’ matter of fact way of explaining the situation; a situation that would probably ruin Quint’s chances of continuing to lead a normal life. She knew there was no love lost between the two of them, and she barely tolerated Quint the few times they had crossed paths, but Titus’ lassiez-faire attitude seemed sort of harsh. She figured maybe Quint had stiffed him on a pay advance or something too. She knew all too well how Titus was about money. That brought her to think about the nights she wouldn’t be there though, and feeling some genuine concern, she asked, “Well, then what are you going to do about the nights when I’m not here?” She couldn’t help but worry that she may have to share the booth with some random kid off the street instead of Quint.

Titus’ voice was even, despite the uncertainty of his words, as he replied, “Well, I haven’t quite figured that out. I know we’ll be open, but attendance is so low on Mondays and Tuesdays that I can’t really afford to pay someone for those nights anymore, anyway.” Lexa unconsciously narrowed her eyes, suddenly fearing the worst, that Titus would ask her to spin every night. She could handle it, of course; if she could get through the first few nights, she’d get back into the rhythm, but the idea of spending every night at Polaris, even for the foreseeable future, was daunting at best. However, Lexa only thought that was the worst-case scenario for a moment, before Titus hit her with a worse one, adding with an exaggerated huff, “I’m thinking about just getting a jukebox and calling a day.”

If there was one thing Lexa hated it was a jukebox in a bar. She was a firm believer in, ‘Never leave drunk people in charge of their own music,’ but the suggestion coming from Titus was a low blow. His little coy smile told Lexa that he knew how just low it was too. Lexa couldn’t help the way her pheromones quickly filled the air, making Titus’ flinch before she put a damper on her own swirling scent. She tried to cover up her momentary lapse in control though, quickly saying, “Look, I probably have a hundred different mixes sitting on my hard drive at home. Just… please don’t get a jukebox.”

Titus simply smirked harder at her words, and Lexa had to fight back a grimace as he said, “So, I can pay you a fee to use your mixes, instead of making money on the jukebox?”

Kicking herself, Lexa, finally, fully caught on to his game. Of course, she would want payment, but the way he had twisted it, she couldn’t ask for much without it sounding like that was all she was after. Titus always was a little too good at manipulating her, but she tried to reason with him anyway, saying, “Yes, you will pay me to use them, but I can promise you this… Someday you’ll thank me for taking your money… Just imagine, some drunk alpha raging out to metal, breaking stuff, or some lonely girl playing the same sappy love song over and over until your ears bleed.”

Titus looked pensive for a moment, and Lexa thought for a second he was going to turn her down just to be contrary, but finally he agreed, “Well, I guess you’ve got me there. How about I pay you for one extra night for 3 new mixes a week?”

Lexa tried to make herself look just as pensive, hoping to string Titus along a little too, but eventually she finally just said, “Seems fair, but I still own the mixes, so don’t get any ideas about using them more than once.”

Of course, Titus seemed mostly unaffected by her attempt at making him uncomfortable, and only nodded his head slightly, before saying, “Well, if that’s settled… We open in about a half hour, so you let me know if you’ve got any questions or need anything. I’ve got to go make sure Jasper is actually stocking the bar instead of just drinking all the liquor himself.”

Lexa couldn’t help it, she laughed, mostly because she knew that was a lost cause; Jasper would have a half a bottle in him by the time the night was over. He was a happy drunk most of the time though, so she figured that was why Titus let his habits slide. Well, that and Jasper seemed to have an uncanny ability to disappear when the State Inspectors came by for a visit. She was convinced he’d installed escape hatches behind the bar or something. She laughed a little harder when she thought about asking him if he could install one in the booth too. She wasn’t sure she wouldn’t need one before the night was over.

 

~~~

 

It had been a long day, filled with sick patients and angry loved ones, but the thing that had really drained Anya’s energy had been training Tris. It seemed like she had a never-ending bank of questions to pull from, and by the end of their shift, Anya felt like she might actually quit just to get away from the eager trainee. She wouldn’t actually do that; well, she couldn’t afford to do that anyway, but still she had thought about it. She knew she owed Tris more credit than that anyway; Tris just wanted to do her job right and that was something Anya could respect, even if all the questions drove her a little crazy. She was just starting to relax when she heard Octavia call out through the open bathroom door, “So… did you want to do anything tonight? Go out to dinner again, maybe… or are we staying in?”

Staring at the ceiling, Anya smirked, easily hearing the hope in Octavia’s voice. She instantly knew what Octavia wanted, but she had different plans for their evening. A couple’s night in wasn’t normally her thing anyway, especially when she had opportunity to go out, but she was sure being with Octavia would make any evening in more interesting. As much as she wanted that though, she knew that she couldn’t do that to Lexa. It was her first night back at Polaris and Anya knew that it would help if she was there. Maybe she could convince Octavia to come with her, so she called back, “Well, I have the morning off tomorrow, and I was thinking about maybe going to Polaris for a while. It’s a slow night, but Lexa’s spinning for the first time in a while, so I thought I’d go and show my support.”

The sound of the toilet flushing, followed by running water in the sink, suggested Octavia would be back in bed with her in just a moment, so she decided to wait before saying anything else. Octavia’s head eventually popped out around the edge of the doorframe, all smiling lips and sparkling eyes, and for a moment Anya found she couldn’t look away. It was only a moment however, before Octavia was skipping back towards the bed, and even though Anya tried to fight it, her eyes fell. She felt her mouth fall open at the absolute vision coming her way. Octavia’s muscled arms and sculpted shoulders were proudly on display, hanging out of one of Anya’s own tank tops. She briefly noted how it was almost long enough to cover Octavia’s underwear, only just the barest glimpse of the purple briefs sticking out from the bottom hem. From there, Octavia was all toned thighs and cut calves. There was so much skin to take in that Anya actually felt her mouth water. She shuddered at the thought of laying Octavia out on the bed right then, just to taste every inch of her. Octavia’s skipping made things bounce and shift too, and Anya thought it was probably one of the sweetest, sexiest, things she’d ever seen. Octavia skidded to a halt at the edge of the bed, and all Anya could do was sigh when Octavia immediately crawled up into the bed beside her. She allowed herself to just enjoy the moment for a second before she finally said, “What do you think? Do you want to go dancing with me?”

Octavia snuggled in closer, and Anya simply wrapped her arms tighter around her too, sighing again when one of Octavia’s bare legs snaked its way over her hips. By the time she was settled, Octavia was nearly laying on top of her, but Anya didn’t mind; feeling Octavia cuddled up against her chest was well worth a little labored breathing. Octavia’s pouting whisper reached her ears then, and Anya couldn’t keep herself from smirking as Octavia said, “Well, if I can’t stay right here all night, then I guess dancing is fine… I don’t have any club clothes with me though, so we’ll have to swing by my place, so I can change.” Anya was about to suggest Octavia wear some of her clothes, but Octavia’s next words left her momentarily speechless, “Maybe you could even help me choose my outfit… I’ve got some ideas I could model for you.”

Groaning at Octavia’s seductive tone, Anya trembled slightly, trying to keep her hands from drifting over Octavia’s body as she spoke. The way Octavia’s breath heated her skin was doing some absolutely wicked things to her, but Anya tried desperately not to be tempted, instinctually gripping the back of Octavia’s thighs as she replied, “That’s something I’d like to see… so, shall we?”

Octavia out-right scrambled to move off her then, and Anya smiled as she watched Octavia scoot to the edge of the bed. Before she moved a single muscle to get up, Octavia had already pulled on her jeans and was working on her socks. Eventually, Octavia glanced over her shoulder and caught her watching, but Anya just smirked at the sweet smile the spread over Octavia’s lips. It was gone in a flash though, when Octavia ducked her head, facing away from her to hide her blush. Anya could still see, rising onto the back of Octavia’s neck, all the way up to her ears. She scooted forward then too, sliding up behind Octavia to bracket Octavia’s hips with her thighs. She wrapped her arms around Octavia’s middle too, pressing in as close as she could get, fitting her lips in under Octavia’s ear to whisper, “Don’t get shy on me, little O. I love your enthusiasm… It’s one of your best qualities.”

Anya cooed against Octavia’s ear a little too, the sound growing louder as she felt Octavia’s body shiver against her own. Octavia tensed in hold though, so Anya loosened her grip, and pulled back to try to reassure Octavia again, only to be cut off by Octavia snarking, “You sure that’s not a really polite way to say you don’t mind how young I am?”

Despite Octavia’s obvious reluctance, she didn’t pull away, so Anya just dipped her head back into the crook of Octavia’s neck, pressing a kiss just under her ear, before she whispered, “Not at all… You’re young, but what I’m talking about isn’t just youthfulness; it’s passion, excitement… It’s adrenaline. I love that you feel that way, that I can make you feel like that. It makes me… _feel_.” Octavia made a sort of noncommittal noise to that declaration, and Anya figured that she’d only managed to confuse Octavia more. They’d only had a couple ‘deep’ conversations, and not that it was really the best time, but Anya felt like she needed Octavia to know what her feeling _anything_ really meant. She took in a deep breath then, trying to prepare herself. Deep down, she knew she’d never really be prepared to take a leap like that, so she just kind of blurted it out instead, “I— I don’t really have a lot of experience with relationships, not ones with feelings anyway. Sensations, sure… but never feelings. I’ve just never been interested in anyone enough to try for more, but I… I really like you, and even though I’ve never tried to have a— a relationship, a girlfriend before, I think I’d like to try with you, if, uh, that’s something you’d want, that is.”

Thankfully, at least for Anya’s sake, Octavia’s reply was quick, Anya grunting as Octavia whipped around in her arms and said, “Anya Woods… are you trying to ask me to be your girlfriend?”

Notwithstanding the excitement written all over Octavia’s face, Anya still felt a little gun-shy, so she just nodded. She wasn’t sure how she would feel if Octavia turned her down, but then Octavia giggled at her bashful nod, and she felt like she wanted to melt right into the bed. That feeling passed pretty quickly though, when Octavia pulled her in for a deep kiss. It felt so good having Octavia perched in her lap, arms swung over her shoulders, kissing her like they were celebrating some great achievement. Eventually, she pulled back from the kiss, more than a little out of breath, but when she opened her eyes, there was Octavia’s smiling face, saying, “I’d very much like to be your girlfriend, Anya, feelings and all.”

Hearing Octavia say that, specifically like that, made Anya feel lighter than she’d ever felt before. It wasn’t hard to see that there was more to those words, ‘feelings and all.’ Octavia was admitting she had feelings, and even if she didn’t know what those feelings were at the moment, Octavia was still saying she was feeling _something_. At the moment, that was all Anya could hope for, a return of her _feelings_. Honestly, Anya wasn’t sure what her feelings were either, but she knew, just like Octavia obviously did, that there was definitely something there. They kissed once more, softer and sweeter than before, but Anya didn’t mind, especially not when Octavia whispered against her lips, “OK, now, figure out what you’re wearing, so we can get a move on. I can’t wait for you to see the outfits I’ve got picked out in my head.”

Anya helped Octavia off her lap that time, not wanting Octavia’s enthusiasm to get the better of her and Octavia end up landing in the floor on her head. Of course, Octavia blushed at the tender care, and that made Anya want to kiss her all over again, preferably in places other than her lips, but she pushed back against her more physical urges and simply grunted as she made her way to her closet. She pulled out the first pair of pants her fingers touched, knowing that that whole side of the closet was either leather or jeans. She wasn’t feeling picky, not when Octavia was dancing around her bedroom saying things like, “Yes, this is Anya, my girlfriend,” and, “Oh, you haven’t met Anya before. Well, she’s my girlfriend.” Anya was pretty sure she would have found it annoying if Octavia didn’t look so cute doing it, but the honest truth was, Anya liked it. She liked how much joy it gave Octavia to claim her in such a way. It didn’t take long before she found herself thinking much along the same lines, imaging introducing Octavia to her friends at Polaris, or even her father, as her girlfriend. She was sure Gustus would like Octavia; after all, she was the little spitfire who had claimed her heart and tamed her libido.

Bristling with pride at the thought, Anya ducked a little deeper into the closet then, grabbing her way through a few tops before laying her hands on something she thought was suitable for a casual night out. It was a deep-red, three-quarter sleeve shirt that shimmered like it was made out of silk, only it was really made of spandex. It wasn’t such a tight weave that Anya would have to struggle to get it on or off, but still, it fit her like a tailored glove. She figured it would be a fitting temptation; she’d wear just about anything as long as it got Octavia to dance with her.

By the time she was stepping back out of the closet, she had just tugged the hem down over her stomach, but she froze when she found Octavia standing in the middle of the bedroom, eyes fixed on her barely covered abs. She couldn’t hide the blush that rose up on her cheeks, but it didn’t matter, Octavia wasn’t paying attention to her face anyway. She slinked out of the closet then, like she didn’t have any idea what was going on and smiled as she watched Octavia’s pupils grow wider and wider. She snickered a little when Octavia’s mouth finally fell open, but the sound seemed to snap Octavia’s fixation. She felt the rush of air just before she felt Octavia’s body crash into her own. Just that second to prepare was enough though, and she simply used Octavia’s momentum against her, flipping them around until she was pinning Octavia to the bed.

The second Octavia’s back hit the head, she was baring her neck to the side, obviously overwhelmed by the display of force, and Anya didn’t hesitate before dipping her face in to nuzzle against the side of Octavia’s throat. She felt Octavia’s hands try to grip the satiny fabric of her shirt, only to slip off when she couldn’t find any purchase. Anya simply smirked even harder against Octavia’s neck at the attempt and growled, “Ah, ah, ah. Later, gorgeous. I’ll let you jump me all you want later, I promise… but we should probably get to your place before we start taking clothes off again.”

Octavia tried to clutch at her again, but only came away grumbling, and eventually, conceding, “Ok, ok, you’re right… but don’t expect us to stay at Polaris long. I have a lot of things I want you to do to me tonight.” Grumbling herself, Anya reluctantly pulled back, releasing Octavia from where she’d had her pinned to the bed. Anya didn’t get far though before she turned back to pull Octavia up off the bed as well. The last thing she needed while she was trying to finish getting dressed, was to look back and find Octavia splayed out on the bed, further testing her barely-contained control. Instead of returning to the edge of the bed herself, Anya moved over to the arm chair in the corner of the room to start to pull on her boots. The jeans she’d picked didn’t want to tuck into her boots the right way though, and she could hear Octavia laughing at her when she ended up re-tying the left one just trying to get them situated.

Boot/jean problems aside, Anya found they were quickly ready to go. She sighed when Octavia took her hand as they made their way towards the front door. They paused only long enough for her to grab up her keys, and her wallet, and after a quick glance around, to make sure she’d turned off all the lights, Anya led Octavia to the elevator. Thankfully, they didn’t run into the ever-obnoxious Gideon, or any of her other neighbors for that matter, on their way down to the parking garage. It was quiet there too, but Anya figured that made sense. Her building was designed for young professionals, one bedroom and studio apartments only, so most of her neighbors were probably in for the night. She and Octavia had very little trouble getting situated onto her bike, the motions feeling almost practiced at that point. She simply climbed on first and then steadied the bike as Octavia climbed on behind her.

The closeness that came from riding with Octavia hadn’t gotten old though, and as they rode, Anya fought down groan after groan; once when she felt Octavia grind against her rear as they pulled to a stop, once when she felt Octavia’s hands dip low in between her thighs as they made a turn, and once, Octavia got so bold as to repeat both actions at the same time, her hips grinding against Anya’s ass as her hands held her still from the front. Anya nearly pulled the bike over that time, but she persevered, forcing herself to concentrate on the road, all the way to Octavia’s apartment.

When they arrived, Octavia jumped off the bike like she didn’t have a care in the world, and Anya was glad she had enjoyed the ride at least. All the teasing had Anya feeling like a wind-up toy with her spring stretched too tight. Part of her couldn’t help hoping that they would find Octavia’s apartment empty, so she and Octavia could work off a little tension before they continued on with their evening. She could feel that spring winding ever tighter too, as they made their way up in the elevator, alone and forced into close quarters by the small elevator. Anya was legitimately considering pushing Octavia up against her front door by the time they reached it, but a strange sort of melancholy was hanging in the air as they approached. Anya could hear someone on the other side of the door, breathing heavy, but when Octavia finally opened it, she definitely wasn’t expecting what they found.

Clarke was curled up in the middle of the floor in front of them, sobbing and crying like the world was ending. Clarke didn’t stay there for long though, and Anya nearly followed when she saw Clarke scramble off the floor and out of sight. Octavia stopped her however, placing a firm hand on her chest, silently asking her to stand down. She did, but still Anya couldn’t explain why she felt such a need to follow Clarke. Maybe it was just how upset Clarke had seemed, or the lingering scent of her misery in the air, but either way, Anya couldn’t deny that some part of Clarke was calling to her. It wasn’t the same way Octavia’s scent called to her, of course, but still she felt like she needed to comfort Clarke if she could. She was staring off down the hallway where Clarke had gone when a quiet, “O, you’re on speaker,” broke her from her thoughts.

When she turned to find the source, she found Octavia with her phone pressed to her ear. Anya didn’t have to guess who Octavia was talking too. It became fairly clear as Octavia sputtered into the phone, “I— I don’t care, Rae… Look, Clarke is here, and she’s a wreck. What did you do?”

Only a second later, “How bad, O?” came through the phone’s tiny speaker, but it was only loud enough for Anya to barely make it out.

“Like bad, like worse than I ever seen… like Finn bad… like, all we can hear through her bedroom door are wracking sobs and muttered curses,” Octavia explained then, and Anya thought she was laying it on a little thick. Still, she moved to press her ear against the door that Clarke had disappeared behind, grimacing as she confirmed Octavia’s assumption.

It hurt to hear Clarke’s despair, but not so much that she missed Raven’s quiet questions, first, “We?” quickly followed by a, “Oh, Anya’s with you?”

She didn’t know why, but Anya gently reached out and tried the door knob, knowing it was locked, but she couldn’t help it. She heard Octavia clear her throat and glanced back just in time to see Octavia say, “Yeah, we were gonna go to Polaris to watch Lexa spin, but I didn’t have anything to wear so we decided to stop by here, and that’s when we found Clarke… curled up in a ball… sobbing in the middle of the floor…” Octavia seemed to be ramping herself up again, and for a second Anya thought she was about to scream at Raven through the phone. Anya smiled slightly though, when instead, Octavia simply gritted her teeth and growled, “So, I’ll say it again… What The Fuck Did You Do?”

Raven’s voice through the phone was suddenly a lot louder, and Anya figured Raven had done the smart thing and taken Octavia of speaker phone. It made it easier for Anya to listen in too, so she heard it loud and clear as Raven explained, “We— we fucked up, O. We had this whole plan… Abby was going to talk to Clarke and Lexa alone first, and then I was going to come over, and we were gonna talk it out, b-but Clarke spotted me at the bar first…”  A notable pause happened then, and Anya could almost hear Raven murmuring to someone in the back ground. She assumed that was Abby, but she didn’t get much time to think about it, as Raven continued on into the phone, “Some things were said, and then she just stormed out… She didn’t give us much of a chance to explain.”

Anya thought Octavia looked like her head was getting ready to explode. Instead, it was just her mouth that did, as Octavia exclaimed loudly, “Good God!! No wonder she’s like this…” Somehow, through the cacophony, Anya heard a noticeable clicking sound then. She immediately turned back to the door and palmed the handle once again, only this time finding it unlocked. That was an invitation if she’d ever sen one, but she still glanced back over her shoulder at Octavia, trying to tell Octavia want she was going to do, but without saying anything. A moment later, Octavia’s understanding came; it was only the most miniscule of nods, but it was permission nonetheless, and before Anya could second guess herself, she slipped inside the room. As she closed the door behind her, she heard Octavia say, “Look, Anya and I will try to talk to her… I’ll call you back later, just sit tight.”

 

~~~

 

Head down, eyes focused on her feet, Clarke struggled to just get one foot out in front of the other as she made her way towards her apartment. She couldn’t think of anywhere else to go, really. She didn’t want to be in public, that was for sure, and it wasn’t like she could go to her mom for comfort. She thought at least if she went home, Octavia would come by eventually. Although from the texts she’d gotten from Octavia, it was likely her friend was out for the evening too. That would be alright though, being alone was better than having Octavia worry all over her anyway.

About half way to her apartment, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, but she barely registered it. She definitely didn’t check it. Whoever it was, she couldn’t really care; she was just too upset to care about anything anymore. She felt so dazed, it was a bit of a shock when she found herself trudging up a familiar set of stairs. Her apartment was a place she wasn’t even sure she was welcome in, not with the betrayal that had been bred right under her own roof, but with what she could feel coming, she needed to find somewhere private soon. She’d felt her emotions surging inside her the entire way home, and she could sense that anger, betrayal, and hurt were about to boil over. She knew the second she was behind closed doors, feeling utterly alone and adrift, she would finally snap. Honestly, that’s really what she felt like she needed; to let herself break down so it didn’t hurt as much, or if she was lucky, at all.

Thoughts continued to swirl through her head too, things like, ‘How could she do this to me? To Raven? How… how?’ Those questions only made her feel more on edge, but she did manage to get her door open despite her shaking hands. As she stumbled her way inside, she thought she’d never felt so wrung out before. Not even the day she’d first met Raven, when Raven had burst through her door and told her that her boyfriend was cheating on her. Raven had stayed to pick up her pieces then though, but with a wracking sob, Clarke realized that she didn’t even have Raven to help put herself back together. Not only had her mother taken her father away, but now she had taken her best friend away from her as well. The anger swelled inside her again as she thought, ‘How could she think that mating my best friend would be ok? How could she just forget about Dad like that? How did this even happen?’ She tried to pull in a breath of air, choking on it, as her mind added, ‘Just how long has this even been going on? She said she met someone Saturday night, but did she…’

That’s when it finally hit her; she finally put the pieces together. At brunch, her mother had told her that she had met someone when she had been out the night before. Only, Clarke hadn’t known at the time that Abby had been out with Lexa and Anya at Polaris. Abby had said it was complicated and that it was done, that she hadn’t even said goodbye to the girl, but still, Clarke hadn’t put the pieces together. She shuddered when she realized she’d actually encouraged her mother to make herself happy by pursuing a relationship with Raven. Her own words echoed back to her then, haunting her, ‘If this woman, this omega, makes you happy, then who am I to judge, you know? Sometimes you have to do things for your own wellbeing and worry about the complicated parts later…’

Things were certainly complicated, but still, Clarke couldn’t help kicking herself for not figuring it out sooner. She thought back to when she’d taken Raven to the hospital; how goofy Raven had looked when her mom had come into the exam room, how Raven had insisted on Abby being the one to stitch her up. She’d left them alone together too, not even realizing she was only encouraging them further.  When she’d smelled her mother all over Raven on the way home that evening, she hadn’t though much of it, but now, she realized that Abby had comforted her, had probably hugged Raven and held her tight and told her she would be ok. The worst part of that was her mother wasn’t there to do the same for her when she needed it.

That hurt had Clarke choking all over again, desperately trying to get enough air, but no matter how hard she tried she just couldn’t get enough. The tears came after that; they came and came and came. For a long time, she was completely incapable of functioning; that is, until the front door to the apartment opened. She was only vaguely aware of the sound at first, but then there were Octavia and Anya, staring at her, blinking like deer in headlights. The shocked looks in their eyes belied their concern, but Clarke couldn’t stay there, not exposed like that. She scrambled to get off the floor, not even remembering when she had collapsed onto it, and then sobbed her way to her room before slamming the door behind her. She threw the lock for good measure, but she doubted either Octavia or Anya would try to force their way in. She just couldn’t allow herself to be comforted in that moment. She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want any of it, at all.

Still, Clarke could feel Octavia and Anya hovering in the hallway, obviously trying to decide what to do. She just wanted them to do whatever they were going to do before they stumbled upon her, and then leave again, but it didn’t seem like she was going to get that lucky. She could hear Octavia speaking then, could make out a few words anyway, and that’s when the final piece fit in. Octavia had known about Raven and her mom all along. That brought a whole new wave of emotions swirling to the surface, and before she knew it, Clarke was muttering angrily to herself, “I can’t believe this, I bet they all knew, I bet I was last to know, I bet Lexa knew and she just lied to save her own ass…”

The only thing that broke her from her ranting was a sharp, alpha presence at her door. Rationally, she knew it was Anya, but that didn’t stop her from feeling threatened. She barely knew Anya, hadn’t actually said more than a few words to her, even in the several months that they had been acquainted. She trembled at the thought of being this vulnerable in front some stranger, especially an alpha after her heat had just ended, but the longer Anya just stood out there, not advancing or retreating, the more comfortable Clarke became. Eventually, she decided that if Anya wanted in, a hollow wooden door probably wasn’t going to stop her, so she slipped over to the door and unlocked it. She scampered back over to her bed and perched on the edge just as light broke through the doorway. She held her breath, hoping she hadn’t made some awful mistake, only to hear a voice whisper, “Clarke, it’s Anya. Is it alright if I come in?”

The words were almost timid, not at all what Clarke was expecting and she replied a quiet, “yes,” without even realizing it. As Anya came further into the room though, Clarke suddenly felt more bashful than before, turning herself away from the door, so Anya wouldn’t have to actually see her sorrow. When she heard Anya mutter a stiff apology behind her, her anger flared. What right did Anya have to apologize for anything? She whirled on Anya then, unable to help herself from growling out, “I don’t know why you feel like you need to apologize… or have you been lying to me too?”

Anya’s forward strides seemed even as she moved across the room, but when Clarke caught a whiff of her scent, Clarke realized, somehow, she was making Anya nervous. Anya stopped a few feet away, giving her space while also engaging her, and the comfortable distance made it easy for Clarke to listen as Anya finally said, “I didn’t say I was sorry because I was trying to assume blame, Clarke. I said it because you’re hurting and that sucks, and I feel bad because you feel bad. It’s a kinda shitty situation all around.” Clarke merely scoffed at that, feeling her anger swirl inside her again, but Anya pressed on, adding almost casually, “I guess that means you know about Abby and Raven then, huh?” The sound of their names together like that made Clarke feel like she was going to freak out again, but she just didn’t have the energy to yell, or scream, or cry anymore. Instead, she just slumped over onto the bed and grunted. She thought maybe Anya would leave it at that, but then Anya’s voice called out quietly once more, breaking the silence that had followed, “Did Abby tell you what happened?”

Too tired to resist, Clarke burrowed the side of her face into her pillow and huffed as she replied, “I… I didn’t give her a chance to. I— I couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with her. I just, I can’t believe she did this to Raven…” She could feel her breath starting to get away from her again and had to pull her face away from the pillow to keep from hyperventilating. With each breathe that followed she became more aware of Anya’s scent though, and it didn’t take much to realize that Anya had moved to perch on the edge of the bed beside her. She didn’t flinch away though, Anya’s demeanor and body language had been calm so far, if only still a little stiff, and she could smell Anya’s almost docile scent much better with the new proximity. It was obvious that Anya was intentionally dulling her scent to try to keep everything calmer. That was a welcome change from how most alphas acted around emotions, and Clarke tried to relax when Anya finally asked, “Can I— Do you want to know what I think?”

Turning to look at Anya then, Clarke was instantly caught up in Anya’s plaintive gaze. It burrowed into her, making its way in and under her walls. She suddenly found herself desperate for an explanation for all of this, something to help her understand how her mother could do something like this, at least without telling her about it. She’d been so blindsided at the restaurant, totally unable to process what her eyes were telling her, but she knew that she hadn’t been imagining it when she’d spotted that fresh mating bite on Raven’s neck. It hurt just to think about it, the way her mother had pulled Raven into her side, shielded Raven with her body, protected her as if Clarke was some sort of threat. She needed some kind of explanation for that. She tried to tell Anya all this, but her mouth just opened and closed a few times before she finally just nodded and hoped Anya would take that for the permission that was and continue.

Anya seemed to accept it as a response though, so Clarke settled in as Anya cleared her throat, listening intently as Anya elaborated, “I know your mom, maybe not a well as you do, but I feel like I’ve known her long enough that I’m entitled to an opinion… Bonding with Raven wasn’t even on her radar. She wasn’t looking for Raven, or anyone else for that matter, but it seems her alpha didn’t give her much of a choice. She thinks they’re a phased pair, and I’m sure Abby didn’t mean to hurt you, but I doubt she could’ve stopped it. I haven’t spoken to Raven directly, but I can only imagine her omega didn’t give her a choice either.” Anya paused there, but only for a moment, before she said something that Clarke thought must have taken real courage to say, “My mom and dad were phased. She’s not around anymore, but dad has always said that phasing with my mom was the scariest experience of his life. He described it as an all-consuming need, one so powerful he didn’t even want to resist. If that’s what happened between Raven and your mom, then I can only imagine how scared they must be; scared of losing you, of losing each other… scared of what the future holds for them. I mean, they’re probably scared of just trying to be together at this point.” Clarke still wasn’t convinced though, they seemed perfectly happy to shut her out of their little pair at the first opportunity, but luckily for her, Anya didn’t give up, eventually adding, “Try to think about it this way, is it really so hard to believe that none of this is a coincidence? Did you met Raven, so she could one day meet your mom? Or even, did your mom have you so that one day she would meet Raven? Think about it and tell me… is that really so hard to believe?”

Clarke thought about it alright; really thought about it. She should be angry. She should be furious. How dare Anya trying to convince her that this was just how things were meant to be, but every second she spent thinking about it, the more sense it made. She thought about the look on her mother’s face at the restaurant earlier; like her whole world revolved around Raven, like Raven held the entire galaxy in her hands, like her mother wouldn’t continue breathing if Raven suddenly stopped. Now that Clarke was letting herself recognize that look for what it was though, the connection and chemistry there was undeniable. Maybe, just maybe, this _was_ how things were supposed to be. She certainly felt that way about Lexa, that their whole lives had led them to each other. ‘Why would their lives be any different?’ Clarke found herself thinking then. She and Raven had become friends, and even roommates, so fast; one cheating boyfriend and that was all she wrote. She had trusted Raven immediately, and even after all this, Clarke found herself still trusting Raven. Surely, if Raven had known who Abby was and hadn’t been able to stop herself, there was something to their phasing theory.

Raven and her mother may have met through pure chance, Octavia’s birthday lining up with the alpha’s night out, but it didn’t take long for Clarke to realize that even if they hadn’t met that night, they would have met someday, through her. The inevitable would have only been delayed. She knew exactly what it felt like to have an alpha call to her, and how that alpha would react to an answering call. If her connection with Lexa was any stronger, she was sure they would have bonded that first night of her heat. If Raven and her mother truly were phased, then there was no way to of avoided any of it. The situation was simply complicated, more so by the combination of shitty timing and overreactions, her mother’s as well as her own, but she didn’t think that the damage they had done to each other was permanent. She just needed to concentrate on how she might start fixing it; first with her mother and then with Raven. She imagined hugs and cheek-kisses and jokes and teasing, but there was something missing; something she wasn’t remembering. That’s when she thought about how she left things with Lexa and immediately blurted out… “Shit! Lexa… she— she really di-didn’t know!”

 

~~~

 

Watching carefully, Anya held her breath as Clarke mulled over her words. She could tell Clarke was considering each of her suggestions, and in the end, Anya was sure Clarke was going to tell her to get out and never look back. Just like that though, a switch flipped; a clear look of realization crossed Clarke’s features just before she spoke. It took Anya a second to process the words, but when she did, she knew she had to tell Clarke everything, and right then. She started by explaining what had happened Saturday night at Polaris, and then told Clarke about her conversation with Abby the next day. She tried to be as specific as she could, tried to explain how Abby had struggled just to keep Raven out of her head. Clarke needed to know how hard Abby had tried to avoid their whole situation. At least, she wanted it to be clear that Abby had made the conscious decision not to tell Lexa. Abby hadn’t wanted her drama to get in between her daughter and a chance at happiness. Anya explained until she simply couldn’t explain anymore, finally concluding her little rant with a firm, “Lexa didn’t know, I’m sure of that.”

Anya felt Octavia come into the room just as she’d begun her rambling explanations, but she didn’t let Octavia’s presence stop her. She simply pressed on, figuring she wasn’t sharing anything with Octavia that Octavia probably didn’t already know. She was thankful that Octavia stayed by the door though, allowing her the space to say what she needed to say without interruption. The moment she was finished though, Anya hoped Octavia would come and sit with them, help her reassure Clarke. It seemed Octavia understood too, and she joined them a moment later, putting a hand on Clarke’s shoulder as she said, “Clarke, I’m s—”

That was as far as she got before Clarke interrupted her, saying, “It’s ok, O. I get it, you don’t have to apologize. It’s not like I’ve been around for you to tell me about any of this anyway, but I— Oh God! Lexa…” The urgency of Clarke’s words caught Anya off guard, but only because when she looked back to Clarke, she realized why. The look of horror on Clarke’s face was pretty obvious, and despite Anya’s longwinded explanations, it seemed Clarke was finally reacting. “Oh God,” Clarke quickly exclaimed again, and this time Anya reached out for her hand, trying to help Clarke hold herself together, even as Clarke continued to mumble, “I— I just walked away from… from her, from us. Oh Lexa— sh-she must think… I— I— I…”

Anya readied herself to jump back in, to try to reassure Clarke that Lexa would forgive her, but Octavia beat her to it, leaning in to say, “She’ll understand, Clarke, don’t worry. Why don’t we all go to Polaris, and then you can explain in person, huh? What do you say?”

“yeah… yeah, yeah,” Clarke quickly replied, and Anya thought it seemed sort of absent at first, but it wasn’t hard to notice the change in tone as Clarke continued. As such, she was ready when Clarke pushed up on shaky legs, steadying Clarke for a moment before she began to make her way over to her dresser. Anya smiled, watching as Clarke grew more and more stable as she moved, but then, suddenly, Anya had to look away. A second later, Clarke’s discarded shirt sailed by her head.

Hearing Octavia laugh made her blush a little, but still, Anya stared at her feet. Surely, Clarke wasn’t thinking clearly, and Anya wasn’t about to take advantage of that, especially not right in front of Octavia, and most definitely not with Octavia’s best friend. She was grateful when she felt a hand wrap tightly around her own and went along willingly when Octavia began pulling her from the room. She nearly sighed when Octavia paused at the door, but it was only long enough for her to say, “We’ll be right back. I’m gonna go change, too…” The grip on her hand tightened then, and Octavia continued on through the door, dragging Anya behind. It was only a few steps back down the hall to Octavia’s bedroom, but the second they stepped through the door, Anya found herself being pressed up against it as it closed. Octavia was crowding into her, bringing their bodies flush against one another. It was such a flip that all Anya could do was gasp as Octavia said, “Anya, that was— you were incredible…” She didn’t even think about protesting as Octavia began to kiss her; she melted into it instead. She guessed that this was Octavia’s own special way of thanking her for helping her friend, and Anya was going to enjoy every second. She kissed Octavia back, hot and messy and passionate, again and again and again, until finally, the need for air forced her to throw her head back against the door.

Having just a second to breathe brought her out of the moment though, and it wasn’t long before she realized that it probably wouldn’t take long before Clarke was ready to go. She wasn’t quite comfortable with the idea of Clarke driving to Polaris on her own either, but she knew if they took too long, Clarke might get impatient and leave without them. Even with all that, she couldn’t help stealing one more kiss before she said, “You should get changed, babe… Clarke will be ready any minute, and I don’t want her to leave without us. She shouldn’t be driving herself anywhere with her head so full.”

For a second, Octavia just chuckled against her, but Anya didn’t miss the little grumble that followed. Something about ‘damned logic,’ but before Anya could ask Octavia what she meant, Octavia was actually speaking up, saying, “You’re right… Of course, you’re right. If she’ll let one of us drive, we can take her car… or we could just take a cab. My car wasn’t really made for more than two, and it’s not like we can ride three-deep on the bike.”

As Octavia spoke, Anya sighed, a little disappointed when Octavia actually started to move away, releasing Anya from where she had pretty much pinned her against the door. Octavia smiled a little sheepishly as she stepped back, and Anya instantly knew what Octavia was thinking about. Octavia was finally realizing the position she had put them in, how easy it had been for her to take control. Anya had allowed it of course, not in an alpha-superiority-bullshit way, but in a consenting partner way. Secretly, she enjoyed the switch; maybe it wasn’t what she wanted every day but knowing that she could inspire Octavia to such actions was a big turn on. In fact, on several occasions, she had encouraged Octavia to take what she wanted. So far, it had been what Anya wanted at the time too. Octavia went to take a step back into her space then, obviously reading Anya’s acceptance on her face, but Anya simply placed her hands on top of Octavia’s hips and said, “Ok. Let’s go, gorgeous. Change now… we’ll have plenty of time for you to model for me later on.”

When Octavia grumbled again, it was so quiet Anya almost missed it, but she could make out the, “yeah, yeah… later, later…” She decided that she wasn’t going to forget Octavia’s obvious impatience; maybe, she could even use it to teach Octavia a lesson later. Making Octavia beg sounded like a good plan, but she pushed those thoughts aside, when she heard Octavia speak up again, “Oh, I’m definitely looking forward to later.”

It was meant to be teasing, but Anya could tell Octavia was a little nervous. She didn’t mention it though, instead just watching as Octavia scurried about the room. Octavia crossed to her chest of drawers first, quickly pulling a clean, black, tank out of a drawer. She didn’t avert her eyes when Octavia’s shirt came up over her head, very much enjoying the view of her barely-bra obscured back. She was sad to see the tank top go on, but her eyes narrowed then, as Octavia bent over to pick up a pair of jeans from a pile on the floor. She could only assume they were clean enough to wear though, because Octavia simply sniffed them, shrugged, and then swapped them for the legging her had on. She caught a brief little glimpse of damp patch at the front of Octavia’s underwear, but she figured Octavia knew better than to change them out; she’d probably just end up dirtying another pair before the night was out anyway.

Eventually, they emerged from Octavia’s room, only to find Clarke standing in the middle of the living room, clutching desperately to her phone. Her head jerked up when they came into the room and for a second Anya thought Clarke looked like she was ready to snap again, but instead, Clarke just barked at them, “God, finally! Come on, I’m driving…”

By the time they got to the car, Anya had managed to talk Clarke out of driving, convincing her that she would be better off if she relaxed a little before they got to Polaris. She was thankful her logic had won out yet again, because she really wasn’t good with Clarke driving with the state she was in. From miserable to excited in no time flat was not a good way to get behind the wheel. The first few minutes of the drive weren’t so bad; Clarke’s car was in decent shape, and it handled well, but as the time went on, Anya could feel Clarke growing tense all over again. Her scent was already clouding the air, covering up Octavia’s sweetness, but when she heard Clarke choke back a sob, she finally said, “Clarke, just try to calm down. Lexa has probably already forgiven you… Just relax...”

Octavia quickly backed her up too, pushing into the space between the driver’s seat and the passenger’s seat to say, “Yeah, your anxiety’s making me anxious up here.”

Hearing Clarke laugh should have been reassuring, but Anya could hear the watery quality of it. Clarke was crying again. Anya glanced over at Octavia then, hoping Octavia had a plan, only to discover Octavia was already on it, knee barely missing her face as Octavia crawled over the back of her seat. It wasn’t long before Anya heard Octavia gently murmuring, “It’s ok, Clarke… Lexa will understand. I know, you feel really overwhelmed, that you’re not sure way which way was up, but take some time to get yourself upright again… It’ll be ok…” Anya only caught glimpses of them in the rear-view mirror after that, but eventually, she heard both of them sigh, content and calm. By the time they reached Polaris, Anya could tell Clarke was feeling better, determined even, and it made her feel good to have been a part of helping Clarke get herself back together. She just hoped Clarke could keep herself that way as the rest of the night unfolded.


	29. The Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter... Just in time for the weekend! Enjoy!!

The hot shower helped, filled with tender, reassuring touches and whispered words of devotion, but Abby was still tense; Raven could tell. Physically, she seemed fine, sort of loose and relaxed, but there was an undercurrent to Abby’s emotions that, at least to Raven, felt a lot like guilt. Not having heard from Lexa about Clarke, or from Clarke directly, was obviously beginning to take its toll on Abby, and Raven worried that if they didn’t hear from someone soon, Abby might do something rash out of desperation.

The second they’d emerged from the shower, Abby had started to get redressed, muttering to herself about finding Clarke, about her little girl being hurt and alone, about making things right. It took some prodding but Raven managed to get Abby into the bed instead, promising that once they were cuddled up in the sheets, both still mostly naked and slightly damp, Abby would feel better. Just holding each other seemed to be helping too, but Raven still rolled her eyes when Abby reached around her to check her phone. The worst part was Abby kept doing too, muttering even more every time she came away disappointed. Finally, Raven couldn’t take the constant jostling and grumbling anymore, and when Abby went to check her phone again, Raven gently placed her hand over Abby’s and said, “Abs, she’ll reach out when she’s ready, ok? You can’t rush her by watching your phone like a hawk.”

It was several long seconds before Abby finally admitted, “I know.” Raven nearly grimaced at how tight Abby’s voice sounded. It was like worn gears grinding against each other, so rough that Raven wasn’t sure how Abby continued, “I just… I wish she’d let us know she’s ok. I don’t like not knowing where she is… especially right now.”

Giving Abby’s hand a little squeeze, Raven bought herself a little time, searching for a way to comfort Abby, when she, herself, was the reason why all this had happened in the first place. She wouldn’t let herself regret it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel just as guilty. She nearly apologized, but instantly knew how that would sound; dry and emotionless, just like it did anytime anyone ever said ‘they were sorry’ about her leg. Instead, she sunk down deeper in the bed and snuggled herself closer into Abby. Of course, the moment she felt Abby sigh contentedly against the back of her neck, her own phone suddenly started vibrating against the top of the nightstand. She felt Abby twitch against her, stiffening at the sound and Raven couldn’t help hoping she was about to alleviate that tension once and for all. She hurried to right herself in the bed, swiping her phone off the nightstand as she settled against the headboard. She barely even took the time to look to see who it was, too frantic to just get the damned thing unlocked and answer the call. She had enough sense to put Octavia on speaker, at least, so she wouldn’t have to relay all the details to Abby after the call was over.

Most of their conversation was just a blur to Raven. She tried to pay attention to the things Octavia was saying, but Abby’s reactions were overwhelming. The second Octavia mentioned Clarke’s name, Abby was scrambling out of the bed, tearing her way around the room trying to finish getting dressed. The amount of fear and guilt and regret pouring off of Abby was astounding, but Raven just tried that much harder to focus on Octavia’s voice coming through her phone. They got about as far as ‘… Clarke… sobbing in the middle of the floor…’ before Abby went tearing out of the room, and Raven was almost glad to be able to turn off the speaker phone feature, figuring that if Abby didn’t want to know anymore right then, she wouldn’t force her.

Actually, without Abby to distract her, Raven managed to explain, at least a little. It helped that Octavia wasn’t as mad as she could have been too, and Raven eventually disconnected the call, not really feeling reassured, but maybe Octavia and Anya could talk some sense into Clarke. Or, baring that, they could at least be there for Clarke when Raven couldn’t. She sat on the edge of the bed then, mulling over the whole situation, thinking about how to proceed. It didn’t take her long to find the bright side, realizing that even though Clarke was a wreck, she was safe and amongst friends. That was good news, and even if it was the only good news that they got that night, Raven felt like it was enough. She quickly decided that was how she was going to approach things with Abby too, because Raven knew she could use that to keep Abby from driving over there. Showing up, before Octavia and Anya had a chance to talk Clarke down, could blow their chances at ever reconciling with her. She wasn’t sure Clarke would see them right away anyway, even if Octavia and Anya did manage to calm her down. She just had to convince Abby to wait and see; to ‘just sit tight,’ as Octavia had so eloquently put it.

The problem with that was, Raven wasn’t exactly sure where Abby had gone. She checked the bathroom first, thinking maybe she’d find Abby perched on the toilet lid, her head in her hands, but Abby wasn’t there. Resigning herself to leaving the bedroom, and maybe the floor, Raven slipped on her brace and made her way over to her overnight-bag. In her rush, she simply dumped the contents of the bag onto the floor and pulled out the first pair of clean underwear she came across. She yanked on a bra and t-shirt too, just in case she had to follow Abby all the way to the street. She hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but she knew she wouldn’t have any problem going out in public in her underwear, especially if it meant keeping Abby from doing something stupid. She grimaced though, knowing what kind of scene that would make; chasing, i.e. hobbling, down the sidewalk, probably shouting at the top of her lungs, drawing way more attention to herself than necessary. She rooted around in pile at her feet for another second before pulling out a pair of jeans. She didn’t even think about whether they were clean or not, she just shuffled over to the bed and seated herself on the edge. She whipped her brace off, but only long enough to pull the jeans up her legs, before slapping the brace back on again.

The metal banged against her leg a little as she struggled with the buckles, and she grimaced again, wincing even though she couldn’t actually feel the pain. She was all too aware of how deeply her bum leg could bruise, and having blood trapped under the skin like that was not good for her circulation either. She pressed on though, quickly fumbling her way through the rest of the closures. Almost as an afterthought, she grabbed up her phone off the nightstand again, checking to make sure she didn’t have any new messages before she made her way out into the hall. Not really sure where to start, Raven called out to Abby, hoping her mate would respond, but when she didn’t hear an answer, she decided to move from room to room to check anyway. She braced herself on the walls and door frames when she needed to turn, not wanting to fall as she checked each room. There only was a home office, and what looked like a storage room, but she didn’t find Abby.

Stumbling, and nearly falling, down the stairs, Raven had to stop and steady herself against the railing for a minute. She was rushing and that was a really good way for her end up hurt. The fear of hurting herself didn’t stop her from pushing off of the handrail after only a few seconds though. She continued to move down the stairs, clutching tightly at both handrails as she just jumped down the last few steps. From the second-floor landing, she finally saw a strip of light spreading across the hallway, and she sighed, relieved. It wasn’t bright, like maybe an overhead light would create, and it was softer and warmer too, but Raven followed it like the homing beacon anyway. When she pushed the slightly ajar door open a little wider, she found Abby curled up in the middle of a twin-sized bed, sobbing. Rushing to her mate’s side, Raven immediately pressed herself into Abby’s back, cooing softly, “Shh, Abby, just try to take some deep breaths… At least, we know she’s ok, right?”

“B-but, wha— what if she never speaks to me again? What if she…” Abby began to sob again, but Raven just squeezed her tighter as Abby’s frame wracked against her own.

The force of Abby’s tears caused her body to twitch and jerk randomly, and it was agonizing, feeling like Abby was just going to shake herself apart. Raven knew she had to say or do something before Abby completely fell off the deep end. “Abby… listen to me… She’s safe, and she’s with Octavia and Anya. That’s the best we can ask for right now. The what if’s… they can wait,” Raven gently encouraged then, struggling to keep her voice steady in the face of Abby’s anguish. Her words seemed to resonate, at least somewhat, and Raven snuggled closer as Abby’s breathing began to even out. Over the next few minutes, she just held her mate and breathed too. Even once Abby seemed calm, Raven didn’t dare move; at that point she needed the contact just as much as Abby did.

Eventually though, she started to get a little antsy. Abby hadn’t said anything in several, long minutes, and it didn’t seem like she was going to say anything else anytime soon. Something about Abby’s silence had Raven growing nervous all over again. She knew from personal experience that it wasn’t good idea to stew on things, because inevitably, the stewing would lead to burying, and burying feelings could only lead to more heartbreak. She was just about to ask Abby if she needed anything, or if she could get Abby anything, when her phone vibrated in her back pocket. It kept vibrating too. Suddenly, she was scared to even look at it, much less answer the call, but she wasn’t going to let fear get the better of her either.

Shifting to fish it out of her pocket, Raven only moved enough to get ahold of it and get it to her ear. It wasn’t like she was worried about disturbing Abby, not really anyway. She knew Abby was awake and she also knew Abby could hear the phone vibrating, it was too quiet in the room not to hear it. They were finally calm though, and Raven really didn’t want the phone call to disturb that, at least, any more than it had to anyway. She didn’t check to see who it was this time, figuring that it didn’t matter who it was, she had to answer it. She offered a tentative greeting when she heard the call connect, but there was so much background noise she wasn’t sure the person on the other end could even hear her. It seemed that they had though, when Raven heard Octavia bark, “God, Rae. You really know how to fuck things up good, don’t ya?”

Instantly grimacing at the harsh tone, Raven felt her throat tighten with emotion. She grunted, trying to get her vocal cords working, but even that didn’t help. It wasn’t until Abby shifted against her, obviously just as uncomfortable as she was, that Raven managed to say anything. When she did though, it all came spilling out in a rush, “Ugh, O, we already feel bad enough, ok? Can you just tell us what’s going on?”

“Well, since I’m such a good friend, how about I tell you where we are, and you can just come see for yourself?” Octavia replied playfully, the background noise intensifying for a second before dipping back down again. Raven couldn’t really make out what it was, but when Octavia quickly added, “We’re at Polaris… I think you guys should come over,” Raven wasn’t really thinking about the background noise anymore.

She quickly whispered, “We’re going to Polaris,” into the back of Abby’s neck, and barely managed to press her lips to the nape of Abby’s neck before Abby was up and out of the bed. Raven followed the movement, sighing when Abby stopped when she reached the doorway to the hall. Abby looked back at her then too, and Raven couldn’t help smiling at Abby’s expression, like she actually had hope again. She held Abby’s gaze for a long moment, letting that hope fill her too, until she finally said, “Ok… Thanks, O. We’ll be there soon.”

 

~~~

 

From the moment Lexa had stepped into the booth, she’d felt an odd sort of deja-vu. As she stood, surveying the small crowd on the dance floor, she felt that feeling crawl up her spine and drive an energetic wave of goosebumps over her skin. The first thing she thought was that Clarke was there, but as she continued to scan the fifty or so people in front of her, she didn’t immediately see her. After another moment, she figured her mind was just playing tricks on her, but then she heard, “Can I come up?” being shouted from directly below her.

Her eyes fixed on the source of those words, eyes lighting up when she saw Clarke looking up at her, Clarke’s eyes shining back at her, even in the dim light. She nodded immediately, glancing at the time left on her current track, before scurrying over to the booth door. When she opened it, Clarke was still there, waiting at the bottom of the stairs. The smile on Clarke’s face spoke literal-volumes about how much better Clarke was feeling, and Lexa threw her arms open as Clarke bounded up the stairs, two steps at a time. Clarke crashed into her too, causing Lexa to sigh when arms wrapped tightly around her middle and squeezed. Clarke tried to apologize then, barely managing to choke out a pitiful, sniffling, “I… I—” before Lexa managed to quiet her with her lips.

There were so many things said through that kiss; things Lexa had said before and probably would say again, and much of the same from Clarke too. When Lexa finally pulled back to look Clarke in the eyes once again, she felt like she needed to say it all out loud anyway though and quickly said, “Please love, don’t apologize, I understand… You’re here and that’s all that matters. It’s gonna be ok…”

It seemed to take Clarke a few seconds to process that, but then Clarke was sinking into her arms as she said, “I just— I reacted so badly… I didn’t want to believe it, you know? Raven and my mom… I mean, it’s weird, right?” Lexa felt her brow furrow as she thought about that. She hadn’t really put much thought into how she felt about Raven and Abby being together. Their intimacy after the incident at the restaurant had made her a little uncomfortable, but she thought she would have felt the same way if she had been standing there with any other newly-mated pair. The rest of the evening she’d been too focused on how their relationship was affecting her relationship with Clarke to really consider it much beyond that. Now that she was thinking about it though, she didn’t really think it was weird necessarily; abrupt and shocking, but not strange. She didn’t know Raven at all, but Abby, Lexa knew Abby, and of all the people Lexa knew, Abby deserved a chance at happiness. She was too good a person to spend the rest of her life alone. If Raven was who made Abby happy, Lexa wasn’t going to judge her, or them, for it.

Suddenly realizing that the continuous, thumbing beat was in fact not her racing heart, Lexa figured she had maybe fifteen seconds before she hit dead air on the decks. She quickly squeezed Clarke’s waist, hoping to soften their parting, before dashing over to the switcher and slipping on her headphones. Luckily, the timing for the next track was only off by a little bit, and she managed to get it synced up just in time for the beat drop. She turned back to Clarke, headphones still on her head, ready to apologize for just sort of ditching her, but Clarke was smiling so wide that Lexa knew there was no reason for her to apologize; Clarke understood. Turning back to the turn tables for just a second, Lexa went ahead and set up the next track. It was a much longer than the one playing, one that she had already premixed to included four different songs. She would have at least fifteen minutes before she needed to do anything else. She let the current track play for another thirty seconds or so, just so the shifts wouldn’t be so closer together, but when the chorus started to play, she found a good lyric to loop and went with it. She smiled as one song shifted effortlessly into the next, hoping that the rest of her life with Clarke would go that smoothly.

When she eventually turned back towards Clarke again, Lexa found her watching the crowd with an almost wistful gaze. She briefly thought about asking Clarke if she wanted to dance, but Lexa could tell Clarke wasn’t really hearing the music; her eyes were too far away. Instead, she just sidled back to Clarke’s side, slipping her arm around Clarke’s waist as she said, “So… I know you might not want to hear this, but I don’t think it’s weird… Sudden, yes, but not strange. I mean, it sorta feels good to see Abby happy, because to be honest, I kinda thought she’d given up on ever feeling that way again.”

Clarke tensed a little in her grip, but Lexa only squeezed her tighter as she heard Clarke’s quiet reply, “Wha-what do you mean?”

Half-way expecting that, Lexa took in a big breath before she said, “Well, I can’t give you an exact reason, but think of it this way… How long has your dad been gone? Six years? And, she still goes to Group every week? That’s a long time to grieve like that…” She hoped that she didn’t sound like she knew Abby better than her own daughter, but in a way, she did know Abby better than Clarke. She had seen sides of Abby that Clarke probably never had; the screaming, crying, broken woman who didn’t understand why the universe had taken away the father of her child, and the comforting, but still grieving, widow that helped others share their own grief. Lexa was sure that even though Abby and Jake had been divorced when he died, Abby still felt like Jake’s widow, and she probably always would. Lexa knew it wasn’t really her place to share all of that, but she also knew she had to try to make Clarke understand if she could, so she finally added, “She cries at Group… every single week. I’m sure she hasn’t forgotten about your dad… even if she’s found someone new who makes her happy too.”

It was a long moment before Clarke said anything, but when she did, Lexa couldn’t help smiling as she heard, “Do you— Do you really think so?”

“Yeah, I do... After— after you left earlier, I went back to the restaurant to confront her,” Lexa quickly replied, trying to plow through the resurfacing feelings of regret. She managed, pushing the image far from her mind, as she willed herself to continue, “She said a lot of things, apologized mostly, explained a little, but she... she asked me if I would see her next week. She’s still planning on going to the meetings… I don’t know about you, but that says a lot to me about where Abby’s head is at.”

“I know you didn’t know, Anya told me,” Clarke blurted then, voice strained and emotional, but Lexa just held her, turning Clarke into her body, so Clarke could cry into her shoulder if that’s what she needed. A few drops did land on her shirt, but Lexa couldn’t be bothered; she just rubbed her hands up and down Clarke’s back, comforting her. Eventually, she felt Clarke whisper into her neck, “she… she said Mom didn’t want you to have to keep her secret… she didn’t want to come between us.”

Pulling Clarke’s shaking frame closer, Lexa simply whispered back, “Abby told me the same thing… She loves you, Clarke, just like I do.”

“you mean… even after… for… me… i can’t... believe…” was about all Lexa could make out in Clarke’s response. The words were so broken and quiet that she got as much from feeling Clarke’s breath against her skin, as she did actually hearing the words over the music.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what Clarke was driving at though, and Lexa simply snuggled her face down against Clarke’s head, lips brushing Clarke’s hair as she said, “Of course, I forgive you, Clarke. I love you.” Clarke slumped into her shoulder then, murmuring and kissing against the side of her neck. Lexa had to fight down a giggle as Clarke’s tongue even made an appearance, licking over the source of her scent. She couldn’t hold it in anymore when a sudden thought occurred to her, and she barked out, “Well… maybe Abby doesn’t love you _just_ like I do. Then it would be _weird_ …”

The snarking comment earned her a huff and slap on the back, but Lexa didn’t mind, not when Clarke pulled away from her neck to reveal a huge smile on her face. She smiled when Clarke finally said, “You’re impossible… but I guess I love you anyway.”

“You guess, huh? Well, maybe I’ll have to step up my game… I’ve been told I have some of the best pickup lines,” Lexa replied, grinning like a fool when Clarke rolled her eyes. Not one to back down from an obvious challenge, she quickly added, “Hey, Clarke, Knock, Knock?”

Clarke’s eyes narrowed, but Lexa just looked at her expectantly, not letting Clarke’s reluctance get to her. Finally, Clarke grumbled, and even though Lexa couldn’t really make out the ‘Who’s There?’ she pressed on anyway, quickly saying, “When where…”

Lexa thought Clarke’s eyes might roll right out of her head then, but thankfully, Clarke played along, dutifully saying, “When where who?”

“Tonight, at my place, just me and you,” Lexa said smoothly, not even caring how cheesy she sounded; it was actually kind of the point.

She was rewarded for her efforts when Clarke’s smile returned, if only a little more devious than before. Clarke pressed back into her space then, a little growl reverberating from her chest as she said, “Is that a promise or a threat?”

Lexa chuckled, loving the turn things had taken, and she easily replied, “Both, my love. It’s both.”

 

~~~

 

Watching Clarke cross the dance floor, making a beeline for the DJ booth, Anya felt confident Clarke and Lexa were going to make up. She could tell Clarke really cared for her cousin, and Lexa’s feelings for Clarke seemed just a strong. This was obviously just a bump in the road, a hurdle to jump, so they could get on with their lives together. She smiled when she saw Lexa’s face lit up, finally spotting Clarke standing right in front of the booth. She watched until Clarke disappeared up the booth stairs before she turned her attention back to Octavia, who was standing next to her. She had thought Octavia was watching Clarke too, but instead Anya found Octavia looking at her instead. She looked preoccupied, deep in thought, but when their eyes finally meet, Octavia lit up too, smiling at her as she took her arm and began leading her towards the bar. When they settled in at one end, Anya wasn’t terribly surprised when she felt Octavia lean into her, whispering against her ear, “So… about what you said to Clarke. Do you— Is that what you really think, that all this was meant to be?”

The incredulity in Octavia’s voice made Anya chuckle, but she easily asked back, “You don’t?” Octavia gave her this skeptical look then, one that told Anya she definitely didn’t, but Anya just chuckled harder, figuring she’d explain it in terms closer to Octavia’s heart, and then see what she believed. “Well, then how do you explain us?” Anya asked next, smiling when she could tell Octavia’s interest was piqued. She didn’t give Octavia time to answer either, pressing on to drive her point home, “You just happen to live with Clarke and Raven. They just happen to suggest Polaris for your birthday celebration. I just happen to be covering for a sick bartender…” She paused mostly for dramatic effect, but when Octavia started to say something, Anya simply cut her off, adding quickly, “I know what you’re going to say; What if I hadn’t been covering the bar? What if… any number of things… The point is there are just too many coincidences.” Octavia still didn’t look convinced, but Anya didn’t let it discourage her, she simply slid her arms around Octavia’s waist and drew her closer, whispering in her ear, “All I’m trying to say is… I feel like I’m right where I supposed to be, right where I need to be.” Octavia shivered in her arms, obviously affected by her words. The movement made Anya sigh a happy sigh too, because she thought that even if the stars hadn’t aligned just right that night, they would have crossed paths at some point. It all felt inevitable; it had just taken a near-catastrophic collision to make it happen when it did.

They were both quiet for a moment, but then Anya heard Octavia’s was a little shaky as she finally said, “Well, when you put it like that… I guess I don’t have much room to argue. I think— I mean, I should probably call Raven back now… I felt like they need to be here.”

Anya nodded, knowing exactly what Octavia meant. She could see the booth window from where they were sitting and when she focused that way, she spotted Lexa and Clarke, holding each other in a similar embrace to their own. She gave Octavia a little squeeze as she said, “Yeah, let’s go to the patio. It’ll be quieter out there.”

Ushering Octavia out the back door, Anya couldn’t stop touching her, not even for more than just a second or two. She felt like after the ups and downs of their evening, she needed the connection to stay sane. When she sat down on one of the patio benches though, she made sure to leave enough room on the bench for Octavia to sit beside her, just in case Octavia wanted a little privacy for her phone call. Octavia surprised her though, when she simply climbed into her lap and straddled her instead. It was a little awkward to start, sitting there with her lap full of Octavia, while Octavia talked to her friend on the phone, but mostly that was because Anya found she couldn’t actually concentrate on anything Octavia was saying. She was too fixated on the way Octavia’s hips were moving against her own to spare anything else a second thought.

It started slowly, just a single, deliberately playful roll, but as Octavia’s conversation got going, so did her rhythm. It was so slow, almost sinuous, and obviously intentional. Anya brought her hands up to hold Octavia’s waist, as Octavia continued to roll and arch into her, and that’s right about the time Anya lost the plot on Octavia’s conversation completely. She’d had lap dances before; she’d had good lap dances before, but not once had she ever been given one from someone she was intimate with. Feeling the pumping bass of the club vibrating through the wall behind her was stirring but getting to feel Octavia’s muscles moving against her hands had Anya quickly imagining nothing between them but slick, wet heat. She groaned at the thought, only to be startled out of her haze by Octavia giggling at her. “Doesn’t take much, huh?” Octavia teased then, and it was all Anya could do to keep herself from growling at the sound.

As much as she didn’t like being teased though, she knew that Octavia was right; there wasn’t much about Octavia that didn’t get her going. So, she sighed as she said, “When it comes to you, definitely not, but you should probably stop.”

Octavia pouted, bottom lip sticking out, whining as she replied, “But why? I thought we could have a little fun while we wait for Raven and Abby to get here.”

Tempted, Anya spared a glance over Octavia’s shoulder, just to check and see if they were alone, but her jaw clenched immediately when she spotted a long-haired man, standing not fifteen feet away, looking like he was trying very hard not to watch them. She could see just enough of his face to make out his smirking lips and wide eyes though. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he was definitely watching Octavia ride her lap. She slid her hands around Octavia’s back then, taking a more possessive grip as she growled lowly, “You should stop because we have an audience, and I’m not good with sharing with strangers.”

Much to her surprise, Octavia just arched into her harder, head dropping back, eyes flying open as their hips made contact yet again. Anya thought Octavia was doing it just to tempt her further but then Octavia’s eyes were searching around, and Anya realized Octavia was trying to get a glimpse of their voyeur. She subtly tilted her grip around Octavia’s waist, trying to direct Octavia where to look. She felt it the second Octavia’s eyes fixed on the stranger; a sudden stiffness, Octavia’s hands clenching in the fabric of her jacket. Anya knew Octavia’s reactions by now and when Octavia’s head drop back down again, coming to rest on her chest, Anya wasn’t the least bit surprised when she heard Octavia whisper, “Hold me ‘til he goes away?”

The return of Octavia’s shyness was a welcome change, but not because Anya necessarily wanted Octavia’s submission. It was nice that Octavia deferred to her, but there was a possessive nature to Octavia’s grip around her shoulders too, like Octavia didn’t want to share either. She glared over the top of Octavia’s head, daring their voyeur to come any closer, but she smirked as he began to slowly back away instead. He disappeared through the back door of the club a moment later, and Anya let herself relax, satisfied now that they were alone. She felt Octavia relax against her as well, when she whispered, “It’s ok, he’s gone.” Octavia stayed cuddled up to her for maybe a minute or so, but eventually she pulled back to look Anya in the eyes. The affection swirling in Octavia’s eyes was almost too much for Anya to bear. She kissed her then; she couldn’t not kiss her, not when Octavia was looking at her like that. Octavia pressed into the kiss too, obviously inviting Anya to push things further, but she knew their voyeur, or any number of other people, could stumble upon them again at any moment, so she pulled back before she could let herself be dragged too much deeper into Octavia’s wiles. Octavia whined at the loss of contact, but Anya wasn’t going to be swayed, quickly saying, “None of that now… but, don’t worry. I will expect you to finish what you’ve started, later… in a more _private_ setting.”

Squirming, Octavia rolled her hips one more time, and Anya had to bite down on her lip to keep from groaning when the apex of Octavia’s thighs lingered against her abs. The heat of Octavia’s sex was still clearly evident, despite the layers of fabric between them. Her hands flexed against Octavia’s sides when Octavia’s butt finally came to rest on the top of her thighs though, half of her suddenly wishing that they could keep going. Octavia’s voice was pretty much the only thing that kept Anya from simply pulling Octavia back against her; Octavia distracting her from the urge as she said, “Oh, you can count on that, but how about you buy a drink in the mean time? This bench is digging into my knees anyway.”

Quickly shuffling Octavia out of her lap, Anya made to stand, but instantly realized Octavia’s weight on her thighs had left her with pins and needles all the way down to her toes. She didn’t mind the shaky legs though, not when Octavia took the opportunity their separation provided, spinning on the spot and bending over in front of her, clearly trying to stretch her own tight muscles. It was a glorious sight; Octavia’s firm flesh straining against her jeans, twisting and flexing and writhing under the fabric, but then she caught Octavia looking around her knees at her. It wasn’t hard to tell Octavia was doing it on purpose, still teasing, and Anya couldn’t help the growl that filled her chest. She pushed through the painful way her blood rushed through her legs as she stalked forward, grabbing Octavia’s hips again once they were in reach and jerking Octavia back against her as she said, “If you don’t stop teasing, your knees might not be the only thing that hurts by the time I’m down with you.”

Octavia gasped at the rough treatment, but followed the momentum, rolling her upper body back up, back arched and head back. Anya nearly growled again when Octavia tilted her head to look at her as she said, “Who says that’s not exactly what I’m after, huh? After all, bad girls are supposed to get punished, aren’t they?” All Anya could do was stare after her when Octavia pulled out of her grip and sauntered towards the door, calling out over her shoulder, “Now, how about that drink, alpha? Or should I go find that guy from earlier and see if he’ll buy me one instead?”

Hustling to catch up, because what else could she do, Anya felt herself grow more determined. She was going to memorize every little thing Octavia did to tease her for the rest of the evening, so when they were finally alone, she would have plenty of ammunition. She would very much enjoy showing Octavia what happens when bad girls push her limits.

 

~~~

 

It wasn’t a long drive to Polaris, or at least it wasn’t supposed to be; only a few blocks from the bridge on either side, but when Abby saw the flashing yellow and white lights of the construction zone on the other side of the bridge, and the blaring red lights in between, she couldn’t help cursing, “Shit, we should have taken the tunnel. We never gonna get there now…”

Raven just chuckled at her side, and Abby forced down a growl as Raven reached across to pull her white knuckled hand from the steering wheel. She knew better than to take her frustrations out on Raven though and managed to get control over herself just as she heard Raven say, “Abs, you’re being overdramatic. The traffic is moving… Look.”

Following Raven’s pointing finger, Abby noticed that Raven was right; the traffic was moving, it was just moving very slowly. Even with that small blessing, she still couldn’t help grumbling about it though, “This is gonna slow us down twenty minutes. I just want to be there already.”

”I know, Abs, me too, but a few extra minutes isn’t gonna kill us. Just think, we could do so much with those minutes,” Raven teased then, and Abby had to bite her cheek to keep from squeaking as Raven pulled her hand into her lap, much deeper than was really necessary. Abby was too shocked to react at first, as Raven began dragging her fingers up along the inseam of her jeans. Still, it wasn’t hard to understand the implications as Raven hissed, “In fact, there’s a whole lot we could do in twenty minutes…” Abby gasped as Raven forced her fingers in a firm circle over her sex, but she sighed as a hoarse moan escaped from Raven’s lips. As much as Abby wanted to pull that sound out of Raven again and again, she couldn’t help being a little apprehensive. For one thing, she was driving, and in her rational mind, she knew distracted driving was a really bad idea. Before she could point that out though, Raven was already on top of it, pushing into her fingertips as she husked, “C-construction ’s on the right, so g-get in the left lane.” Not knowing what else to do, Abby checked her blind spot as she turned on the signal, and then, merged when the car behind them let her in.

For just a second, Abby didn’t worry about a thing; Raven’s hips were bucking against her hand and Raven’s groans filled her ears. All that mattered was touching Raven, making her groan and squirm, but then the car behind them honked. Abby sighed as she realized there was a stream of cars filling the space between her car and the car that had just been in front of them. Raven chuckled then, and Abby felt her face heat with a hot blush. There was no way she was going to be able to do this; she obviously couldn’t split her attentions very well, but it seemed Raven had a plan for that too, as she quickly whispered, “Just watch the car in front of us and hold your hand still… I can do the rest.”

Feeling Raven’s grip on her hand tighten, Abby blurted out, “Raven, I—” before she cut herself off. She wasn’t sure what she was trying to say, but the words had started to come out already, so she decided to just let them out and see what happened, “You… and I want to, but… should we r-really b-be doing this r-r-right now?”

Raven’s grip on her hand flexed again, and for a second Abby thought she was going to let go, but then she heard Raven’s husky voice calling out again, “Abby… If you don’t want to, we don’t have to, but I’ve a-always that found that a good orgasm can relieve tension.” Abby thought Raven made a pretty good argument there; their shower earlier had definitely helped her, but then she realized she hadn’t really returned the favor Raven had done for her under the spray. She figured that if this was how Raven wanted to be ‘repaid,’ so to speak, then who was she to argue. Still, she couldn’t help wondering what that said about Raven, that she defaulted to orgasms as a form of relaxation. Bringing Raven pleasure wasn’t a hardship by any stretch of the word; it had quickly become one of her favorite activities. She felt like there was a big difference between making love to Raven in, what was now, their bed, and essentially helping Raven rub one out in the passenger’s seat of her car. Before she could really talk herself out of it, or into it, Raven really drove the argument home, when she finally added, “And, besides, why have privacy tint this dark without taking advantage of it, huh?”

Abby remembered the flash of desire she had felt from Raven when they’d been outside the restaurant earlier. Obviously, the idea of having sex in public appealed to Raven, but it seemed that the idea of being able to do pretty much anything they wanted, and no one around them having a clue, appealed to Raven even more. Instinctively, Abby glanced over at the car next to them, and even though she knew the woman driving it couldn’t see her, she still blushed like she’d been caught doing something wrong. She didn’t feel like helping Raven relax was wrong; maybe a little inappropriately timed, what with the driving, and with thoughts of Clarke still looming over both of them too. Taking care of her mate’s needs definitely wasn’t wrong though.

Red lights flared in the corner of her eye and she immediately tapped the brake, slowing them to a stop. She couldn’t help but look at Raven then, and the pleading look Raven was giving her made her mind up for her. She firmed the hand cupping Raven’s sex and nodded sharply, before looking back to the road in front of them. Focusing after that was a lot harder than she thought it would be, with Raven squirming and sighing in the seat next to her, but Abby did her best, managing to guide them through the traffic with only a few glances Raven’s way. She knew she would get mesmerized by the movement if she looked for too long, but that didn’t stop her from sneaking a glimpse every now and then anyway. She heard a particularly heavy sigh come from Raven’s direction, and when she looked over that time, she felt herself groan.

The way Raven’s body was arched against her hand was quite the sight to see, and it wasn’t long before Abby knew Raven was coming. She could feel it against the pads of her fingers; she could see it in the way Raven started shaking in her seat; she could hear it in the soft whimpers escaping Raven’s mouth. It didn’t go on and on, maybe ten or fifteen seconds, but when Raven huffed and sank down in seat, Abby could feel the wave of relief as it rolled off of Raven. It was so strong that Abby felt like it was her own feeling, and she sighed as Raven’s orgasm relaxed her too.

Keeping her hand cupped protectively against Raven’s heat the rest of the way, made Abby feel even more relaxed, and she barely noticed the passage of time and distance after that. It seemed like no time at all before they were pulling into the parking lot down the block from Polaris. Her hand tensed in its cradle though, a sudden flash of nervousness causing her to flinch. Raven hissed at the sharp contact though, and Abby quickly removed her hand, murmuring a soft, “sorry,” as she moved.

Seeing Raven cringe made Abby wish she’d been a little more tender, because she sure Raven was sensitive, but when Raven mumbled, “It’s ok. We should go in anyway,” Abby felt her heart clench.

“Raven, what is it?” Abby asked quickly, certain she’d heard disappointment in Raven’s tone.

Raven’s answer was just as quick, as she said, “Abs, it’s nothing. I just wish we could keep going… I— I’d just really like to be touching you right now.”

Smiling, Abby leaned across the center console then, pulling Raven in for a kiss before she whispered, “Well if we survive the next fifteen minutes, maybe I’ll try to convince you to take me into the bathroom later and ravage me.” It was almost comical how wide Raven’s eyes blew at that, pupils dark and expanding. Abby could tell that she wouldn’t have to do much convincing, if any at all.

Before Abby could stop her, Raven was out the car door and hobbling around to her side of the car. It seemed that Raven was in a hurry now, and Abby couldn’t help giggling at Raven’s enthusiasm as she made her own way out of the car. They met around the rear of the Mercedes, and Abby sighed when Raven simply scooped up her hand and started dragging her towards the club, calling out over her shoulder, “Come on, Abs… It’s time to face the music.”

For all her enthusiasm, Raven hesitated when they reached the front door, and Abby had to struggle to keep her balance when Raven stopped rather abruptly in front of her. Abby slid her arms around Raven’s waist easily enough though, and when her face came close enough to Raven’s ear, she whispered, “we’re together, honey, just remember that. it’s me and you, all the way.”

Eyes rolling hard, Abby had to bite her tongue when Raven snickered and blurted out, “Play your cards right and I’ll show you the meaning of the words, ‘All the way.”

Abby just teased right back though, hoping to keep the playful mood going as she whispered, “Promises, promises.” Her attempt at levity worked too, Raven only grumbling a little bit when Abby flipped their positions and started dragging Raven the rest of the way into the club.

Once they were inside, Abby did a quick sweep of the room, keeping her eyes hawkish as she scanned the space looking for Clarke’s bright-blonde hair. Clarke was nowhere to be seen though, so Abby had no choice but to clutch helplessly to Raven’s arm as they started to make their way across the room to Octavia and Anya at the bar. Abby figured they were as good a place as any to start looking, but she couldn’t keep herself from wincing when Anya called out, “You really are a go-big or go-home kinda girl aren’t you, Abby?”

Blushing furiously at Anya’s mocking remark, Abby felt the sting of her friend’s words, but she managed to keep most of the snark out in her own voice when she replied, “Yeah, I like to go all out when I screw something up. It’s a talent really…”

It seemed she was moderately successful too, as Anya merely clapped a hand on her shoulder and said, “Well, let’s hope you put just as much dedication into fixing things too… Clarke’s up in the booth with Lexa, if you’re interested.”

Abby’s eyes immediately drifted to the raised booth, and she sighed when she thought she caught a glimpse of blonde hair swishing around behind Lexa, who was obviously tending to the music, headphones over her ears and all. She took just a second to appreciate the sight of Lexa in her element, and a soft smile spread across her face as the beat changed smoothly from one song to the next. Raven didn’t seem to have the same appreciation though, tugging at her sleeve then, and Abby looked back at her just in time to hear Raven say, “Do you want me to come with you?”

Tempted, Abby started to say she would love ‘having a buffer,’ but part of her knew that she and Clarke needed to try to settle things on their own first. She owed Clarke some explanations, and those explanations would probably be easier to deliver without Raven as a distraction. She didn’t know how Raven would feel about that though, so she tried to be gentle as she replied, “Uh, will you be mad if I say no?”

Raven’s full-bellied laugh was a welcome relief, and Abby smiled again as Raven took her apprehension in stride, continuing to laugh as she said, “Abs, no… Ha—Of course not. Go… Talk to her. Make things better… I’ll be right here when you guys are done.”

Feeling sort of exhilarated, Abby leaned in to give Raven a kiss then, happily whispering, “Thank you,” against Raven’s lips before she turned and made her way across the room. With Raven’s strength and affection backing her, Abby had no problem keeping her head held high, even though she felt like she might be walking into her doom.

 

~~~

 

Happily dancing her bad day away, Clarke twirled around in the booth behind Lexa as she worked. She’d danced with Lexa some too; at least, when Lexa hadn’t been busy making the music happen anyway. It was soothing, letting Lexa’s music take her away, but when she saw Lexa freeze at the desk, looking out over the crowd, the little hairs on the back of her neck stood straight on end. She could tell something was wrong just by Lexa’s ramrod straight posture, but she definitely didn’t expect to hear Lexa mutter, “Is that— is that Abby and Raven?”

Bolting up to the booth window, Clarke gasped when she saw her mom standing by the door, surveying the crowd, with Raven standing right next to her. Not knowing what to do, Clarke immediately shrunk down behind the desk, grumbling along the way, “Shit, what are they doing here?” She slid back along the floor until she came to rest with her back against the opposite wall, hoping that they simply wouldn’t see her and leave.

It didn’t seem like she was going to get that lucky though, when she heard Lexa snicker and say, “Well, I’ll give you three guesses… and two of them should be Octavia and Anya. They’re all over by the bar now.”

Clarke shuffled to her feet, staying as low as she could, as she made her way back across the booth. She chanced a glance over the desk towards the bar, but immediately regretted it, seeing her mom looking right back at her. She shrank back down behind the counter, scrambling for the back wall again, but apparently she wasn’t fast enough, because a moment later she heard Lexa say, “Busted... She’s coming over. What do you wanna do?”

Breathing heavy from the adrenaline, Clarke wasn’t sure what she wanted, but when she looked up and found Lexa looking back at her, a soft understanding smile on her face, Clarke realized that while she wanted to be mad at her mom, and Raven too for that matter, she just couldn’t. Staring in Lexa’s eyes, Anya’s words echoed in her head, ‘Is it really so hard to believe that none of this is a coincidence?’ She couldn’t deny the truth behind those words; when things felt right, they just felt right. “There’s no such thing as a coincidence, not when it feels like this,” she affirmed as she stood from her stooped position against the booth’s back wall. She moved to the booth door with purpose then, opening it quickly when she reached it and then there was her mom, standing at the bottom of the stairs, with tears in her eyes.

It was heart breaking seeing her mother that close to crying, but as Abby slowly made her way up the stairs, Clarke couldn’t help thinking that her mom still looked happy. It was a strange combination to be sure, but it seemed fitting too. It was in that moment, staring into her mother’s watery eyes, that Clarke finally understood. Anya had said her mom was scared; of losing her, of the future, of just _living her life_. The strange look on her mother’s face wasn’t happy or sad or angry; it was fear, and it was no wonder Clarke didn’t recognize it. She was sure she had never seen her mom that scared before. That made Clarke’s heart wrench even more too, because she’d caused her mother to feel that way. She started to say something, anything to get that look off her mother’s face, but she didn’t get the chance to, as Abby cut her off, blurting out, “No… I— I have to say it, Clarke… I’m— I’m sorry... I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Raven and I met the other night, and then she came over, so we could talk about that… and I don’t even know what happened. I just couldn’t help it. I _needed_ her, I… I still do. I don’t think I can live without her, but I know I can’t live without you and I, ugh—”

Whatever else her mom was going to say was quickly stopped off by tears streaming down her face, but Clarke automatically reached out for her then, not wanting to see her mom hurt unnecessarily. She wasn’t sure she had totally forgiven her mother or Raven for how she’d found out about them, but she wasn’t going to hold best laid plans against them anymore. She needed to set her mother’s mind at ease though, so she gently placed her hand on her mother’s shoulder as she said, “Mom, I understand, ok? Maybe I didn’t before, but I know what how it’s like when it just feels right.” She glanced over her shoulder to Lexa then, sure that her mother’s eyes followed. As if she could sense it, Lexa glanced over and gave them a little nod, and Clarke felt like running to her and hugging her, happy that at least for the moment everything was better. Lexa was obviously busy switching tracks though, so Clarke just turned back to her mom and said, “I know that you didn’t do any of this on purpose… You didn’t mean to hurt me… I know that.”

The relieved looked that sweep over her mother’s features was delightful, despite the wet streaks still running down her face, and Clarke couldn’t help the smile that spread across her own lips. For once, her mother looked happy, truly happy. It seemed that she was only growing happier too, as her mother finally said, “Clarke, you’re— I’m just so proud of you, you know? You’ve grown up into this beautiful, intelligent, strong woman and I… I couldn’t be more honored to have you as a daughter.”

Clarke all but threw herself into her mother’s arms then, nearly toppling them both down the stairs. Of course, Abby managed to keep them upright, but still, they bumped harshly into the handrail a couple times before eventually landing against the wall at the base of the stairs with a grunt. Clarke couldn’t be bothered though, laughing as she said, “Oh, Mom, I— I love you…” She felt her mother return those words against the side of her head, but Clarke pressed on, knowing that she had some things she needed to say too. “I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but you’ve never given up… even after Dad died. You deserve to be happy… and if that’s how Raven makes you feel, and you make her feel the same way, then who am I to get in the way of that.” Her mom simply squeezed her tighter then, crying softly into her hair, but Clarke knew she wasn’t finished yet; she still had one more thing to say, and she decided to just get on with it, quickly adding, “I’m— I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. You didn’t deserve that. I… I guess I was just overwhelmed, you know?”

That fearful look started to reappear on her mother’s face and for a second Clarke thought she had said something terribly wrong, but then Abby said, “You have nothing to be sorry for, Clarke. You shouldn’t have had to find out that way. I meant to sit you and Lexa down together and explain… I wanted to tell you about the incredible young woman who stole my heart the second our eyes met. I wanted to tell you about the beautiful omega that my alpha just wouldn’t let me let walk away from. I wanted to tell you about this great person that I’d met, who just happened to be your best friend…” Clarke winced slightly at that phrasing, not because she didn’t think Raven was a great person, but it was more of a reflex. The term ‘best friend’ had always been a bit of joke between Raven, Octavia and herself, but for just a moment, Clarke wondered if she could still consider Raven her best friend or not. They obviously hadn’t spoken yet, but she was sure Raven was hurt by how she had acted earlier. She just hoped she’d get a chance to repair the damage she had done before Raven’s feelings could fester. She didn’t get much of a chance to dwell on that though, when Abby pressed on, “I… I wanted to make it easier to swallow, but I— I guess I should’ve known better… Murphy’s law, right?”

Nodding, Clarke snickered, thinking back to their conversation at brunch. It seemed Abby had predicted some of this mess then, but Clarke knew that she had done just as much to set things into motion as her mother had, despite how naive she had been at the time. Now that she’d had some time to get her head around that, she didn’t regret any of it either. She and Lexa were good. Her mother was happier than she had seen her in a very long time, with Raven no less, and Octavia and Anya seemed just as smitten as well. “It seems to me Murphy’s law doesn’t always end badly though… I mean, look at you two,” came from over her shoulder and Clarke smiled against her mom’s cheek.

Glancing over her shoulder then, Clarke sighed at the sight of Lexa watching them, a huge smile on her face. As delicately as she could, Clarke pulled out of her mother’s embrace, only to immediately turn and sweep her arms around Lexa instead. She heard her mom sigh behind her, but that didn’t stop Clarke from burrowing her face into Lexa’s neck and whispering, “I love you,” against her skin.

As if on cue, Lexa shivered at her words, and Clarke trembled as well, when Lexa pressed in just as close and whispered back, “I love you, too.”

The moment didn’t last long though before Clarke she heard her mother call out, “Well, I can see you too have some making up left to do, so I’m just gonna leave you to it, ok?” It was a nice suggestion and part of her wanted to just stay with Lexa and let Raven stew a little, but Clarke knew she should try to make amends. A sudden thought struck her though, and she wondered how Raven would react if their roles were reversed. There was no way Raven would ever let her hear the end of it, teasing her into infinity. Clarke quickly decided that if she and Raven were still best friends, Raven would be disappointed in her if Clarke missed an opportunity to make her squirm a little.

Plan ready, Clarke called out after her mom, “Hold up just a sec and I’ll go with you. I really should talk to Raven. I’m sure she feels pretty shitty about this too.” She glanced that way too, and seeing her mother pause to wait for her, Clarke pressed into Lexa for just a second more, kissing under her jaw before pulling away. She was sad that Lexa was going to miss the epic razzing she was about to unleash. Still, that wasn’t going to stop Clarke from giving Raven the hard time she had earned. By the time Clarke was done with her, she was certain Raven would suffer for fucking her mom.

 

~~~

 

Watching Abby move across the dance floor didn’t bother Octavia; she was more worried about Clarke anyway, but if the look of distress on Raven’s face was any indication Raven was definitely bothered. The further away Abby got the worse the look on Raven’s face got too, until finally Octavia could help but ask, “You ok, Rae?” Raven didn’t respond, and Octavia thought maybe Raven hadn’t heard her, so she decided to try a different tactic. She nudged the mostly full whiskey-rocks glass a little closer to Raven, hoping that a little liquid courage would loosen her up. She watched as Raven eventually picked up the glass, and the tremble in Raven’s fingers was made even more obvious when Raven sipped at the contents. That was strange; Raven wasn’t usually one to tremble and shake, too proud to seem weak. The way Raven sipped at her whiskey was even stranger though. Raven had always been more of a gulper than a sipper. On more than one occasion, Octavia could remember Raven telling her that dainty, little omegas sipped at their drinks, but strong, independent omegas took what they wanted; they gulped. It was silly, but Octavia couldn’t argue with the logic behind it, knowing that attitude was important. Raven’s attitude however, needed an adjustment, so she tried for a little levity as she added, “Raven, something’s up… You’re sipping…”

Raven sipped at her a drink again before simply staring down into it, but Octavia could see just the slightest bit of wetness clinging to Raven’s eyelashes. She couldn’t stop herself from rubbing a hand up Raven’s back then, certain that Raven wouldn’t mind a little comfort. The contact seemed to snap something inside Raven too, and when she looked up, tears still in her eyes, Octavia smiled, glad that Raven would at least look at her. There seemed to have been enough tears though, and Octavia smiled harder as Raven snuffed a few back and said, “Yeah, O, I’m ok… I just— I hope Clarke doesn’t blow up again. She was pretty mad earlier.”

Remembering the sight of Clarke curled up in the floor of their shared apartment with big, fat, salty tears running down her face, Octavia figured Raven was right not to cry. There had definitely been enough tears for one day. Hoping to put some of Raven’s worries to rest, she slid her hand up to Raven’s shoulder, leaning in as she said, “Yeah, she was pretty upset when we got to the apartment too, but Anya talked her down. It was pretty incredible actually… You know how stubborn Clarke can be, but Anya just kept talking ‘til things started to sink in… Anyway, I think Clarke’s gonna be ok with it, with you and Abby, I mean.”

It seemed to take Raven a minute to process that, but Octavia followed her gaze when Raven directed her next words to Anya, eventually saying, “What did you say to her?”

“Just what I told Abby when she was freaking out in her office the other day,” Anya replied quickly, and Octavia nearly rolled her eyes at the obtuse vagueness. She knew Anya was sensitive about who she shared her thoughts and ideas with, but she felt like Raven probably needed to hear what she had said too. It would go a long way towards relieving Raven’s worries, just like it had Abby’s and Clarke’s before her. It seemed like Anya figured that one out though, and after only a brief pause, she continued, “I don’t know about you but it’s not hard for me to accept that you and Clarke met and became friends so that one day you would meet Abby. Call it fate if you want, or kismet or whatever… doesn’t change the fact that this all seems meant to be.”

Glancing back to Raven then, Octavia could see that she wasn’t quite ready to accept that a face value; a skeptical grin raising the corners of Raven’s lips. Raven wasn’t gentle about her disbelief either, quickly barking out, “Wow, Anya, I would have never thought you were the type to believe in stuff like that. I mean, you seem so logical and stoic.”

Raven gestured up and down Anya then, like Anya’s logic and stoicism were physical traits, but even though Octavia knew that wasn’t the case, she couldn’t help but follow the motion with her eyes. Anya did seem that way on the outside, all brawn and no brains, almost aloof, but Octavia knew better. She had seen the tender, almost unsure, side of Anya, and she’d seen the witty intelligence that spoke of years of level-headed thinking. She was just about to defend Anya’s ability to care too, but Anya cut in on her instead, stating almost heatedly, “But it is logical, isn’t it? Causation is a logical concept; one thing causes another. How do you know Abby didn’t have Clarke just so that she would one day meet you, so then you would meet Abby? How do you know you didn’t let Octavia into your home, just so she could meet me one day?”

Hearing Anya’s reasoning again, didn’t make it any less powerful, and Octavia swooned a little at the affection in Anya’s voice. In true Raven fashion though, Raven quickly said, “That’s some deep philosophical shit, right there.”

Octavia chuckled a little at Raven’s rough edges, because that was one of the things she loved most about her friend. Obviously not used to it, Anya didn’t laugh, simply gulped in a big breath of air before she said, “Yes, well, my stoicism generally means I tend to overthink things… so I guess there’s that to think on, too.”

Turning to Anya fully then, Octavia started to say that she didn’t mind Anya overthinking, especially if it meant they all got to happy instead of angry, but then she spotted Clarke, beelining in their direction, rage written clearly all over her face. She wanted to step in between Raven and Clarke then, try to stop the imminent destruction that was coming, but then Anya piped up, pulling her out of the way as she said, “Uh oh, look out, Raven. Angry omega at your four o’clock.”

Watching in horror, Octavia winced as Raven banged her bad leg into the bar as she whipped around, turning just in time for Clarke to reach them. The way Clarke was sneering made Octavia cringe too, but when Clarke half-shouted, “You Mother Fucker!” Octavia couldn’t help thinking that Clarke didn’t actually seem that upset. Clarke rage was usually a sight to behold. She’d seen a flash or two of it earlier when Anya had been trying to talk her down, but this was different. It was almost like Clarke was barely managing to keep herself from laughing; whether her laughter would be maniacal or not still remained to be seen though.

Raven began to backpedal immediately, blurting out a sharp, “Clarke, I—” before her voice cut off. Octavia wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her friend then, stop Raven from apologizing for something she obviously had no control over, but there was still that nagging feeling that Clarke wasn’t actually mad. She shifted a little against Anya side, trying to get a better look at Clarke. What she got was a glimpse of Abby coming up behind Clarke, a plaintive smile on her face. Octavia finally understood then; Clarke wasn’t sneering. She was smiling.

There could only be one reason why Clarke was smiling too, and Octavia nearly rolled her eyes when she figured it out. Clarke was messing with Raven, just like Raven probably would have messed with her, if things were the other way around. Clarke confirmed her suspicions a moment later too, finally letting her laughter out as she said, “Ha—God, Raven, you’re too easy.” Raven didn’t seem to get it though, still looking down, her drawn-in posture radiating shame. Octavia almost did step in then, but Clarke was quicker, swiftly moving into Raven’s side instead as she said, “It was a joke, get it, because you’re a mother fucker now?”

A little nervous laugh drew her attention to Abby just she stepped in too, pushing Clarke away from Raven a little as she scolded Clarke, “Really, Clarke… watch your language.” Octavia watched then as Abby pulled Raven closer into her body. She smiled as Abby’s head dipped into the crook of Raven’s neck too. A moment later, the tension surrounding them eased, and Octavia could feel it herself when Raven relaxed into Abby’s arms. Abby’s next words were low, obviously meant only for Raven, but Octavia was just close enough to hear Abby whisper, “she’s just messing with you, honey. I think we’re ok…”

Octavia almost felt like she was intruding then, with how tender their moment seemed, but it really only lasted a moment, because Clarke’s loud groan drew everyone’s attention back to her. She looked over just as Clarke started to whine, “Oh, Come On, Moooom! You couldn’t just let me make her uncomfortable, not even for a minute?”

 Half expecting Abby to defend herself, Octavia waited for the eventual response, but it was Raven who actually spoke up, murmuring quietly, “s-so wait… you’re not mad?”

It was so soft that Octavia wasn’t even sure anyone else had heard her, but it seemed Clarke had, immediately gesturing towards the two of them, as she said, “Why would I be mad? I’ve never seen her like this before.” Octavia couldn’t help but look at Abby then too, and there was no mistaking the look on Abby’s face. It was so filled with love that Octavia couldn’t help feeling it too. For a moment, it was like Abby wasn’t just hugging Raven; Abby was hugging her too.

That felt sort of weird however, when a pair of actual arms slid along her sides. She didn’t flinch or squirm though, even when those arms moved to cradle around her waist. She knew those arms were Anya’s, just like she knew that breath on her neck was Anya’s too. She couldn’t just smell it either, she could read it in Anya’s body language. She could hear it in Anya’s voice too, as Anya whispered against her skin, “It’s kinda sweet, isn’t it? Clarke messing with Raven like that?” Not really sure what Anya meant, Octavia just shrugged as she continued to try to take in what was going on within the group, but Anya didn’t let her get too involved, whispering in her ear again, “They normally joke around with each other, right? Fight and play and argue and laugh?” Octavia made a more affirmative gesture at that, nodding slightly and when she did, Anya pressed in a little closer to add, “Well then, if you think about it like that, Clarke is probably trying to return things to normal the best way she knows how, by making Raven laugh.” ‘Ever-logical Anya strikes again,’ Octavia thought as she nodded again, smiling when Anya nuzzled into her neck in response. With Anya behind her, Octavia had the luxury of being able to look interested, without actually having to be included in the conversation going on right in front of them. It wasn’t an excuse, but Anya’s closeness was… distracting. Octavia caught little bits here and there anyway, but with Anya pressed into her back, it was really hard to concentrate on anything else. She didn’t really need a map to follow the conversation though; Raven and Clarke and Abby were all smiling, Raven still tucked into Abby’s side as they talked things out.

Thankfully, they didn’t need much input from her, and she managed to seem passably interested, smiling anytime anyone looked her way. Mostly, she was just relaxing in Anya’s arms, relishing in everyone’s good mood. Even when Lexa joined them a few minutes later, and Anya separated from her to greet her cousin, Octavia still felt warm from their embrace. That warmth started to dissipate quickly, but Anya didn’t leave her alone for long either. When Octavia settled back into the cradle of Anya’s arms and chest, she sighed happily at the return of their connection. She looked around at all her happy friends then and smiled. Clarke was standing side by side with Lexa, their hands clasped together, fingers intertwined; Raven had her head resting on Abby’s shoulder as Abby’s fingers played through the end of Raven’s ponytail. It was the most content Octavia had ever seen either of them be, and she felt content too, but then Anya leaned into her ear one last time and whispered, “we should head out soon… this all seems pretty settled, and if I’m not mistaken you and I both have some promises to keep before we sleep.”

Octavia couldn’t excuse them fast enough after that, breaking into the conversation at her first opportunity, claiming that she and Anya both had early mornings and that they were leaving. She didn’t dither around too much about saying goodbye either, but when Raven pulled her into a tight hug and whispered, “thanks,” Octavia didn’t have the heart to end their embrace. She let herself linger about as long as she could stand it before she gently pulled away. She and Raven shared one more moment, just smiling at each other, but then she felt Anya’s hand meet her lower back and shiver followed. With one last nod, Octavia began leading Anya towards the front door then. She wouldn’t say she was dragging Anya, but there was definitely some arm pulling involved. She was so eager to get on with the rest of her evening that she didn’t even stop to sneer when she heard Raven call out behind her, “Have fun, Kiddo! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”


	30. The Right Track

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some complex scenes coming up in this chapter, both emotionally and physically. I don't want spoil anything, so I won't give details, but I feel like this chapter is pretty intense. Take that as you will...

Abby and Raven didn’t linger long after Anya and Octavia left, and Lexa was both glad and sad to see them go. She wanted an opportunity to get to know Raven better. Not only was she Clarke’s best friend, or one her best friends as it were, but Raven was also her friend’s new mate. Lexa felt like she needed to know more about the omega who had broken through Abby’s control so easily. It was still sort of hard to believe that Abby had bonded with Raven, despite their situation. Lexa decided that she couldn’t be too disappointed though, because she figured she would get plenty of opportunities to get to know Raven. At least, eventually anyway; it wasn’t like she was planning on letting go of Clarke any time soon. She already felt a good mother-in-law vibe from Abby, and she hoped that maybe someday she would feel like that with Raven too. It was a little weird to think of it that way though, what with how close they were in age, and Lexa quickly decided to try not to categorize Raven like that. She hoped maybe someday they could be friends; that was a much better way to go about getting to know Raven.

In the meantime, Lexa had other problems though. Titus was giving her his very own special brand of side eye and had been for several minutes. She knew what had his jockeys in a jerk, but she was confidant she was good on the music front. Before she’d left the booth, she’d set the system up to play the half hour mix she’d made that afternoon. She’d planned on using it take a break, probably sometime around midnight, but being by Clarke’s side as she talked things out with Abby was well-worth the inconvenience of using it early. She knew she had all the power in her reformed relationship with Titus anyway. He needed her to save his business, and if he said anything to her about being away from the booth, she wasn’t going to afraid to press that issue. He had already manipulated her once by talking her into taking her job back in the first place, but then he’d done it again with the jukebox threat. She was glad she’d let him talk her into those things, but he certainly didn’t need to know that.

Besides, she couldn’t help it if she was being a little neglectful of her duty, not with Clarke giving her an entirely different kind of side eye. The darkness of Clarke’s pupils easily rivaled the inky blackness Lexa had seen during her heat, and when they did finally return to the booth, Lexa had barely gotten the decks switched over to manual control when Clarke moved into her space and pulled her into a deep kiss. It felt so good having Clarke close, kissing her like their lives depended on it, but Lexa knew that at some point very soon she needed to work. They should probably wait until the night was over to reconnect the way Clarke was obviously demanding anyway, but then Clarke pulled away slightly and husked against her lips, “I _need_ something from you, _Heda_ … Are you gonna give it to me? Or am I gonna have to take it?” Clarke’s voice was so filled with need that Lexa was already hard-pressed to deny her, but it was the way Clarke said her stage name that really tipped the scales. It made her feel powerful, like _Heda_ was a title instead of just a pseudonym. She sank into the kiss then, deepening it further, using her own tongue to set the pace. Clarke hummed receptively against her lips, and before she could stop herself, Lexa had slotted a thigh between Clarke’s legs and was encouraging Clarke to grind against it.

It wasn’t long before Clarke had established a rhythm either, pumping her hips in time with the music, and Lexa smirked as Clarke’s face fell away from her own, obviously too out of breath to continue kissing her. Lexa briefly considered whether getting Clarke off in the booth on her first night back was a good idea. It seemed that Clarke understood her better than she knew though, because after only a few seconds, Clarke leaned back in and whispered against her lips, “I know you still have to work… and you’d think that after three straight days of you getting me off, I’d need a break, but I’m— I’m just a mess… Will you… w-will you just let me?” The little hitches in Clarke’s breath were what made Lexa’s decision for her. She would let Clarke do whatever she needed to do to satisfy herself. Lexa thought she could even participate a little, as long as she could concentrate on work when it was necessary. For a moment, she really wished she had another long mix with her. It was gut-wrenching to think that every three minutes or so, for the rest of the night, she would need to be paying attention to the decks instead of Clarke.

Trying to push work firmly into the front of her mind though, Lexa quickly dropped her hands from where they had settled against Clarke’s waist. She picked up her headphones, but that was mostly to keep herself from gripping Clarke waist again instead. She left one ear uncovered, just in case Clarke needed to get her attention, and then laid her hands back down on the switch deck, waiting for the exact right moment to throw the toggle. That moment came quickly enough, but when Lexa glanced back at Clarke, she hoped Clarke would come quickly too. The darkness in Clarke’s eyes had only gotten darker, but it was the way Clarke’s lower lip was trapped between her teeth that really told Lexa how desperate Clarke had become.

With the new eye contact, Lexa finally nodded, giving Clarke permission to continue. She was a little shocked at how quickly Clarke moved around behind her, but as Clarke began dancing and grinding against her rear, Lexa sighed. It was a heady feeling, Clarke gyrating against her, and Lexa couldn’t help moaning as Clarke thrust her hips against the swell of her ass. As good as that felt, it was nothing compare to how she felt when Clarke’s husky whisper reached her uncovered ear, “God, _Heda_ … You are so sexy fucking right now. So powerful, confident… I wish you could touch me right now, feel how wet I am for you…”

A rapid shudder shot down Lexa’s spine at those words, and she wished nothing more than for that to be the case, but she kept her hands firmly in place on her desk, trying not to tempt fate by turning to Clarke before she could switch for a longer song. Clarke’s words continued swirling around in her head anyway, echoing every time Clarke rocked into her. Lexa tried to breathe through it though, tried to keep her head in the game long enough to make that switch. She couldn’t smell Clarke yet; there were too many other scents in the room, but as Clarke continued humping against her rear, Lexa could tell Clarke was close even without her attention. The harsh panted breaths against the back of her neck were one pretty good indication, but then one of Clarke’s hands gripped tightly at her hip bone. The next grind was accompanied by a bulge against her rear, and Lexa realized Clarke had figured out a way around not having her touch. Lexa’s own hands flinched against the desk, but rather than give into her urges, she pulled her hands up to her headphones instead. She needed to double check the pace for the switch, so she pulled the second muff over her ear. She didn’t keep it there for long though, pulling it away again only a few seconds later, not wanting to miss a single one of the sounds Clarke was making behind her.

They started as little moans and breathy whimpers, but as Clarke grew bolder, her sounds increased in volume, and in duration. At one point, Clarke let loose an animalistic sort of groan, but Lexa wasn’t worried. There was no way anyone would hear over the music and the din of the crowd, so little worries like that drifted far from her mind. Actually, Lexa didn’t have any worries at all in that moment, because Clarke was whispering in her ear again, and this time she said, “I— I can’t wait to feel those long fingers t-teasing me… dipping inside me… tracing my lips… flicking my clit… I love your fingers… I… just… I can’t—”

Purely on instinct, Lexa hit the switch, mostly because it was time, but she really didn’t care if it was the right time or not. The second the new beat dropped, Clarke arched hard against her backside, and Lexa felt the tension as Clarke lingered on the edge. It was tangible; the frustration, the annoyance, relief hanging in the air just out of reach. In that moment, Lexa knew that Clarke needed help, or she wasn’t going to get there. Before she could second guess herself, she quickly turned into Clarke’s body and cupped Clarke’s frantically moving hand with her own. It wasn’t hard to tell what Clarke was doing under the fabric, and Lexa couldn’t help but smirk as she pulled Clarke’s lips to her own with her other hand.

Their kiss was just as frantic too, all teeth and tongue and panted breaths, but when Lexa pulled away, Clarke looked like she wasn’t just close to coming; she looked like she was close to passing out. “Breathe, love. I’ll get you there, don’t worry,” Lexa whispered then, firming her grip on Clarke’s hand through her leggings, hoping to refocus Clarke’s attention. The new pressure had Clarke sighing harshly against her lips, and Lexa pushed in with her middle finger, urging Clarke to do the same. Clarke arched into her again, harder than before, and Lexa realized she was probably putting too much pressure on Clarke’s clit, but when Clarke’s breath caught in her throat, Lexa figured Clarke didn’t mind the firmer touch. She only hesitated for a second before she began dragging her hand over Clarke’s, moving Clarke’s fingers in time with the new beat. Clarke’s swirling hips eventually followed the rhythm too. It wasn’t long before Clarke’s hand was clenching against her side, probably hard enough to leave bruises, but Lexa just sighed and drove her fingers up harder, hoping it would be the last little push that Clarke needed.

The lights were flashing, and the booth was filled with haze from the club’s smoke machines, and the bass was booming, but Lexa could still feel it when Clarke’s orgasm finally crested. The long lines of Clarke’s still-bruised neck were exposed and right under Lexa’s nose. In full view of the public or not, Lexa couldn’t stop herself from burying her face in Clarke’s neck and breathing in Clarke from her source. Clarke shuddered at the contact as Lexa dragged her nose over the tender flesh of her throat, and Lexa smirked against Clarke’s skin in response. Getting Clarke off in the DJ booth, surrounded by a bunch of people she didn’t know, and maybe even a few that she did, was like giving Lexa’s confidence the shot of steroids it needed. Suddenly, she realized that even if she couldn’t be exactly what Clarke needed all the time, she figured if nothing else she could still make Clarke come her brains out, and without even really touching her. That was a feat in and of itself, and she relished in the idea of being able to give Clarke pleasure in any way she could.

Even though she didn’t want to, eventually, Lexa had to pull away. She knew Clarke wasn’t quite ready to stand on her own yet, but if she didn’t turn back to the decks soon, there wouldn’t be a single person in the club that didn’t know what they were up to; the dead air filling the place would be suspicious, drawing attention their way. Clarke whined as she moved, but Lexa tried to stay steady long enough to get the next track lined up and into the mix. She set a timer for the fade and pressed start when she thought it might sound best, but she didn’t necessarily like DJing by numbers like that. She nodded along as the songs transitioned, only wincing slightly at the way the bass lines thumped against each other for a couple beats before one tapered off. With Clarke sagging against her back, mumbling things like, “I love you,” and “god, you’re just so perfect,” Lexa found it very hard to concentrate on both things at once anyway.

Glancing out over the crowd, Lexa didn’t think anyone seemed particularly upset about the momentarily-doubled beat, and as everyone continued on about their evenings, she decided to try to relax a little. Not that Clarke wasn’t doing enough relaxing for them both, but Lexa really wanted to share in Clarke’s afterglow if she could. Checking the time on the track, Lexa quickly turned so she could face Clarke again, catching Clarke around the waist to better support Clarke’s wobbly, unwound weight. It was several songs later before Clarke seemed to fully come back to herself, but when she did, it wasn’t hard for Lexa to tell the difference. Clarke’s muscles stiffened a little, and she seemed to tense up, not just physically, but emotionally. Lexa just held her through it though, trying to calm Clarke by whispering words of her own; things like, “don’t worry love, I’m here,” and, “I won’t let you fall,” and “I love you, too.” She hated alternating her attention between the intoxicating warmth of Clarke’s neck and her work desk, but she made sure to only take enough time to tweak timings and switch songs before turning her attention back to Clarke again.

Eventually, Clarke started taking some of her own weight, but Lexa nearly laughed when Clarke whined unhappily. She found it nearly impossible to hold on to her serious expression when she saw that Clarke was literally pouting though; bottom lip stuck way out, eyes as big as saucers. Lexa wasn’t sure what Clarke was upset about, but she figured it didn’t matter. Clarke still looked adorably ridiculous either way, and she couldn’t help it when her amusement finally bubbled over. Clarke looked hurt however, grimacing instead of just pouting, but Lexa simply pulled her closer and said, “If you’re going to be this unreasonably cute, I’m allowed to laugh, ok?”

Clarke’s eyes rolled, but Lexa thought she saw Clarke’s features soften a little as she replied, “Yeah, but you’re not like… you know, weirded out or anything? I mean… you did just make me come in front of about a hundred people.”

“God, Clarke, is that what you’re worried about?” Lexa exclaimed, expecting Clarke to be disappointed that they couldn’t keep going, or frustrated by her level of participation. She definitely hadn’t been expecting Clarke to feel embarrassed by her own relief. That was a shame too, because Clarke always looked so beautifully relaxed in the aftermath of an orgasm. Needing to put Clarke’s fears to rest, Lexa didn’t hesitate to bring her hands up to cup Clarke’s jaw, holding Clarke’s eyes with her own as she said, “Listen to me, you have nothing to be embarrassed or worried about. I can categorically say that that was the sexiest thing I have ever experienced. I just hated that I couldn’t focus more of my attention on your needs myself.”

“Is that your fancy, formal way of saying, you wanna be the one who’s knuckle deep inside me the next time I come?” Clarke blurted then, and Lexa’s breath caught at Clarke’s blunt, yet sultry, tone.

Part of her wanted to blurt out ‘God, Please, Yes,’ but she had managed to mostly keep her cool thus far, and so, shaking her head, Lexa just said, “Yes, Clarke. I would like that very much. Next time, and every time after that…”

 

~~~

 

The ride home felt like the longest part of their whole evening, because even though Octavia wanted to go straight to Anya’s, Anya didn’t feel right about leaving her bike parked on the street all night. It made sense; of course, it did. A motorcycle parked on her street was just asking to get hit. Parking in her neighborhood was at a premium, so it was possible that some drunk idiot would try to park in the same spot in the middle of the night. While they were in the back of the cab, the trip didn’t seem so bad; being cuddled up against Anya’s shoulder made it easier, but when she settled in behind Anya on the bike, she began to feel nervous.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want to take her clothes of for Anya. The idea of stripping for Anya was very appealing actually, but it was after that that she was a little worried about. They had whispered back and forth about punishment a few times, but always in the abstract. It was teasing, like ‘if you do this then I’ll do that.’ It was always just to turn each other on in the moment, but this time seemed different. She was actually considering letting Anya _punish_ her, and the longer she thought about it the more she wanted it. Anya had already done so much to teach the fine line between pain and pleasure, and she found herself eager to explore that further. Not for the first time, her mind drifted back to the things she had seen in Anya’s closet. The restraints, the oils, the toys; they all danced through her imagination and created an arousing, yet still nerve-wracking image: squirming against the restraints that tied her to Anya’s bed, holding her arms and legs out wide, exposing her wet and wanting core to the open air and Anya’s hungry gaze. It that position she would be completely at Anya’s mercy, and that shouldn’t have made nervous, but it did.

Rationalizing, Octavia knew she could trust Anya. Anya wouldn’t do anything to her that didn’t feel good, at least in the end, but that was the crux of the matter. What if she didn’t want the pain part to end? What if she didn’t want it to feel good? What if she liked the pain because it was all she’d ever had? Her father left before she was born, her mother died having her, and in the end, Bellamy left her too; all she knew was loss. Even after Bell came back from the military, things weren’t the same. She found herself chasing pain after that, taking punches in her boxing classes that grown alphas couldn’t, insisting on finishing sparring matches she had no business continuing in. Pushing through the physical pain always made her feel stronger, more powerful, like if she could endure that, then what harm could emotional pain do to her.

It didn’t take Octavia long to figure out that was what she was really afraid of though; exposing herself like that to Anya and having something go wrong. She didn’t think Anya would ridicule her or leave her, but what if they went too far, too deep, and Octavia never came out of it. What if Anya didn’t like what she saw when Octavia was stripped raw and broken before her? Octavia knew deep down that if they were going to continue on the path they were on, she would need to show Anya her pain at some point, but she just wasn’t sure if she was ready. She knew she couldn’t put it off too long either, Anya was too clever; she would figure out something was wrong, and probably sooner rather than later. She thought, ‘No time like the present, I guess,’ as Anya finally pulled the bike down into the parking garage, thinking that the least she could do was get it all out in the open, and then see where the chips fell after that.

They didn’t speak as Anya stowed their helmets, and Anya ushered her to the elevator in silence too, a hand simply resting against the small of her back to guide her. Octavia didn’t mind; the simple contact actually felt good, but even after they got inside the elevator, Anya still didn’t say anything, and the silence was starting to make Octavia uneasy. There was a tension to it that she didn’t understand, like there were a hundred thoughts right on the tip of Anya’s tongue, all trying to get out of her mouth. She did her best to push past the awkwardness though, hoping that once they were behind closed doors, Anya would part with at least some of what she was thinking. Octavia figured it was good timing; she had quite a few things they needed to talk about too. Even with reassuring herself, by the time they got to Anya’s door, Octavia found she couldn’t bare the tense silence anymore and finally asked, “You gonna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, or am I gonna have to guess?”

Anya’s warm chuckle made Octavia’s chest swell with affection, because if Anya could laugh so easily, whatever was on her mind couldn’t be too bad. Anya’s easy response was soothing too as she said, “Don’t worry, O. Let’s just get inside, maybe have a beer and then we can talk, ok?”

Nodding, Octavia simply followed Anya as she made her way inside. She sat her bag down on the table by the door and slipped off her jacket and shoes too, relishing in the feeling of being home. At least that was how she had begun to think of it anyway; she had spent the last three nights there and if their _talk_ went well _,_ then she figured she’d be spending a lot more time in Anya’s space. Anya was moving towards the kitchen and Octavia followed then too, gratefully accepting a beer when Anya offered her one. She didn’t chug it like she wanted to though; despite wanting the relaxed feeling the alcohol would provide, she really didn’t think getting drunk was a good idea. So, instead she took a just sip before heading towards the living room. She could feel Anya following her this time, and the anticipation only made Octavia pick up the pace. She quickly settled in at one end of the couch, leaning her back against the arm and folding her legs up under her butt. She felt like being able to see Anya’s face might make things easier, but as Anya took a seat at the opposite end of the couch, she realized the opposite was true. The distance between them hurt, and not in a good way.

Shaking her head, Octavia quickly shuffled over to Anya’s end of the couch, even as Anya laughed at her silliness. She settled with her back against Anya’s chest then, feeling the lingering vibrations of Anya’s laughter reverberating against her skin. Anya’s arms wrapped around her waist too as she cuddled in close, and for just a second, Octavia’s anxieties seemed to move very far away. That is, until Anya dipped down and whispered in her ear, “You really wanna know what’s on my mind?”

Tensing, Octavia didn’t want to say yes. Suddenly, she didn’t want to hear anything from Anya that wasn’t moaning or panting, but Anya was obviously trying to break the ice and Octavia would be stupid not to let her. Still, she didn’t think she could actually say anything yet, so she just nodded again and hoped that would be enough. Anya’s whispered response confused her at first, because all Anya said was, “you…” but thankfully, Anya only paused long enough to breathe before she elaborated, “It’s just… you seem really nervous, so I’m wondering if you need to table our plans for the evening. We can come back to them on a different night, or not at all, if that’s what you want.”

“No, I want—” Octavia blurted before she could stop herself, only to realize that she didn’t actually know what she wanted. She wanted Anya, that much was obvious, but in what capacity was the question.

Anya seemed to understand what she was thinking though, probably better than she understood herself, and simply squeezed her a little tighter, as she said, “I want what you want baby, so why don’t you just show me what you want and that’s what we’ll do, ok?”

Feeling oddly emboldened by Anya words, Octavia quickly flipped herself in Anya’s lap. Kneeling between Anya’s thighs, Octavia looked up at Anya, and while the soft, understanding smile on Anya’s face wasn’t quite what she expected, it was comforting, nonetheless. She took another sip from her beer, mostly to hide her blush, but feeling Anya’s eyes following the movement, she drew it out, taking a second gulp before she shifted to place on the side table behind Anya’s head. The effort pushed her chest right up under Anya’s nose, and the resulting groan from Anya made her smile. When she settled back between Anya’s thighs that easy, kind smile was long gone, replaced by Anya’s signature smirk, all hungry and gleaming. It made Octavia shiver, seeing Anya’s mood flip like a switch, but it also made her more confident. She could do this; she could strip herself raw for Anya, because she was sure Anya would still be there when it was over, no matter what happened.

Gathering Anya’s beer into her hands, Octavia leaned up again, setting the beer down next to her own. Holding herself up, hovering over Anya, she pulled her phone out of her back pocket too, and despite the disgruntled huff from below her, she took her time thumbing her way through her music on her phone. She needed the perfect song, something with a slow build and big beat drop. She figured if they were going to get back around to where they had been earlier, what better way to start than to go back to the beginning of the evening. She turned the volume up on the phone high enough where she thought it would be plenty loud without wrecking her phone’s speakers and settled the phone onto the side table as well. She let her body sag forward slightly as she clicked the play bottom, dragging the front of her tank top over Anya’s pointy nose.

The growl that vibrated against her chest made shudder again, but she pushed herself up anyway, not wanting to get distracted; she had a promise to fulfill. Then, maybe Anya would feel like she could fulfill her promises too. She slid off the couch, to give herself some room, and she felt it as Anya’s eyes followed her. When Octavia turned back to her, it seemed that Anya’s eyes hadn’t been the only thing to follow her either. Anya was leaning forward over her knees, licking her lips as Octavia began to back away. For the first couple of seconds, the music was so slow that she wasn’t quite sure what to do, but when the beat kicked in, she had no problem finding it. She started to slowly roll her hips then, nearly chuckling when Anya’s head drifted back and forth with the movement. Even though she’d never done anything like this before, she figured she was off to a good start. She obviously had Anya’s full attention.

Swishing her hips was all well and good, but she knew needed to start getting naked if she was going to make the beat drop. She a plan for that moment, something that she thought would drive Anya wild, but she needed to get a move on for it to work. She brought her hands up to the hem of her tank top then, and she smiled as Anya’s eyes flashed to the new movement. Taking a firm grip, Octavia whipped off her top then, almost like she had been practicing. She had been, but that was something she would never admit to in public. With a flick of her wrist, she tossed the top over Anya’s head. She tracked the tank top, but out of the corner of her eye, she could see Anya’s gaze hadn’t left her body. That hungry stare was almost enough for Octavia to forget about the rest of her little strip tease, but instead of giving in, she gritted her teeth and turned her back to Anya.

Swaying harder to the beat, she started to work the button and zipper of her jeans. The beat drop was coming, and she wanted to drop her pants as just the right moment. Building with the beat, she added a little extra shimmy as glanced back over her shoulder at Anya. She watched Anya’s eyes grow even wider as she worked her jeans over her hips, finally exposing her black, thong-back underwear. She hadn’t planned this, that was for sure, but her choice in underwear for the evening was definitely useful then. The second silence filled the room, she sank forward, yanking her jeans down as she went. They were tight, so they got a little caught up around her knees, but she pushed through it, forcing them down over her ankles. Kicking them away with a flourish, Octavia straightened up, swaying her hips and knees along the way for a little added effect.

A growl shook the air behind her, so loud that for a second Octavia couldn’t hear the music. She glanced back at Anya then, only to find Anya’s eyes had grown impossibly wide. They were filled with darkness too, like Anya was thinking about just eating her alive. Movement drew her attention away from Anya’s eyes though, and she shuddered at the way Anya’s tongue brushed over her lower lip. It seemed that Anya was thinking about eating her, but as appealing as that idea was, that wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to make this good for Anya too. As she sashayed forward, Octavia reached out and took Anya’s clenched fists in her own, pulling them away from their resting place at her knees. Anya started to push back against her hold, but Octavia just huffed at her, and soon Anya’s protests waned. She pushed Anya’s hands up until they were resting behind her head then, giving them a little squeeze before she let go, silently saying, ‘You can touch me when I say you can touch me.’ However reluctantly, Anya seemed to agree, swallowing hard before she finally just nodded.

Climbing onto Anya’s lap wasn’t as graceful as Octavia meant it to be, but Anya didn’t seem to mind. Anya actually saved her ass, literally; shifting her weight at just the last second to keep Octavia’s knee from slipping off the edge of the couch. Octavia was grateful too; she wasn’t really keen on the idea of getting rug burn on her ass, especially when she was trying to be sexy. She decided not to mention it though, trying not to break the moment. Instead, she thanked Anya with her body, sinking into the music’s rhythm again without a second’s hesitation. She could feel how tense Anya’s thighs were underneath her butt as she moved, and she could see the muscles in Anya’s forearms, straining against her skin. Knowing how hard Anya was struggling turned Octavia on to no end, and before she really knew what she was doing, she was reaching behind Anya’s head and pulling her arms back down, moving Anya’s hands to grip her butt while she continued to grind in Anya’s lap. The seemed to work out well too, giving Octavia a chance to grab the back of the couch to use for leverage.

The song was coming to an end; Octavia knew it, but there was one more section of the song she thought she could exploit. It was a really short dance break, but she felt like it was long enough to really set Anya on fire. When the time came, Octavia pressed forward, forcing Anya’s face in between her breasts. The move caused Anya to gasp and stiffen, and Octavia felt the sting as Anya’s nails dug into her bare ass. She didn’t care that Anya was leaving a mark; the burn felt far too good for her to care. The force of Anya’s grip pulled her forward again too, and when her barely-covered clit slammed against Anya’s solid abs, a harsh cry drove its way out of her throat. Before she could even think to hold back, she came. It wasn’t fireworks or explosions or anything, but it wasn’t like she could try to deny that it had happened either; especially when she felt herself clench and gush inside her nearly-nonexistent underwear. There was probably a wet spot on the front of Anya’s shirt too.

The sad part was that Octavia had been so focused on Anya that she hadn’t even realized how close she had gotten, and as she shuddered through the aftershocks, she couldn’t help feeling guilty. She’d been trying to drive Anya wild, not go wild herself. The longer her orgasm lingered the worse she felt too, and by the time the song ended, she had buried her face in Anya’s shoulder and was barely choking back tears. She wanted to apologize, but she knew that would only make things worse. She had apologized to Anya for coming too quickly once before and all she got was a proper tongue lashing for her trouble. While being at the mercy of Anya, and that tongue, wasn’t exactly a hardship, she still felt like she needed to do something to excuse herself for coming, especially because Anya hadn’t told her she could. Even though they weren’t explicitly playing that game at the moment, Octavia still felt uneasy about coming without Anya’s permission. Of course, it seemed that was what Anya was thinking about too, when she finally said, “Wow, you are a naughty girl, aren’t you? Not only did you come in the middle of _my_ lap dance, but you did it without _my_ permission too… Whatever shall I do with you?”

Gasping at the way Anya’s tone made her pulse and throb, Octavia could feel that inevitable tension already building inside her again. Still, she recognized those words for what they were; an invitation to explore, if that was what she wanted. All she had to do was play along and Anya would do things to her she’d only deemed about so far. She was still a little nervous, not sure how far Anya would take it, but she quickly realized she was more excited than anything. Despite her enthusiasm, or maybe because of it, she couldn’t really think of a way to respond to Anya’s question without sounding ridiculous though, so instead she ducked her head shyly and waited to see if Anya would continue. Eventually, after what seemed like an eon, she felt Anya’s fingers dig a little deeper into her skin, and Anya pulled her even closer as she whispered, “You’ll have to tell me, gorgeous. What should I do with you? How should I punish you for coming without my permission?”

“S-sp-spank me!” Octavia blurted, the timbre of her voice peaking as Anya squeezed her ass again. She was sure both sets of her cheeks were flushed with heat, but when Anya groaned appreciatively, she couldn’t regret her boldness.

When Anya’s voice reached her ears again, she felt her entire body flush with heat though, feeling both exhilarated and humiliated all at the same time, as Anya said, “That’s right, bad girls get spanked. How many do you think you can take, huh? And, remember, I won’t be gentle just because you’re an omega.”

Feeling a little incensed by the dig, Octavia squirmed uncomfortably for a moment, but as those words sank in, she realized they were just another way for Anya to let her control the pace. It was actually kind of comforting that Anya wasn’t going to ‘go easy’ on her. That wasn’t what she wanted anyway. Still, not having done this before, Octavia just blurted out the first number that came to mind, “TEN!” hoping that was too many or too few. It seemed like a nice round number in her head, but after she’d said it, she wasn’t sure if that was the right answer or not.

There was no going back though. She didn’t think Anya would pressure her to keep going, but she felt like she was too close to a break-through to stop. Well, either that or a break-down, she wasn’t sure. She just knew she couldn’t stop; somewhere deep down, she needed this. She was starting to feel sort of desperate for it actually, but then ever-even Anya slipped a hand around the back of her neck and guided her head up until their eyes met. Anya’s eyes were still dark, but soft somehow too, and Octavia shivered as Anya said, “We’ll start with ten, but maybe if you show me you can be a good girl, I’ll stop after five.” Octavia felt a little relief at that, thinking maybe five was a better goal, but it seemed Anya wasn’t done, quickly adding in a harsher tone, “If you can’t, then maybe I won’t stop until we hit twenty.” The thought of Anya’s hand striking her ass for twenty blows caused Octavia’s breath to catch in her throat, but she didn’t protest. She knew they wouldn’t get that far; Anya wouldn’t let it, but just the threat was enough to have Octavia literally dripping into Anya’s lap. She shifted as she felt herself trickle, but she didn’t make any moves to get up; she was going to be good and wait until Anya told her she could. Eventually, the command came, Anya’s voice tight and strained as she said, “Stand up and lean over the arm of the couch. Get ready for me, while I get something I need from the hall.”

Mind running a mile a minute, Octavia scrambled out of Anya’s lap and into position, burying her face into the crook of her elbow before Anya had even left the room. She had to shift her knees apart a little bit to brace herself for impact, but she found the exposed position arousing, as well as embarrassing. Anya would definitely be able to see that trickle that had drifted down, even though it had smeared in between her thighs. There would no question about how turned on she was in a minute; she was pretty sure her thighs would be soaked by the time Anya was done with her.

It was eerily quiet then, only the brief shuffling of Anya opening and closing the hall closet door breaking up the monotonous silence. The longer Octavia waited, the more tense she became, but she relaxed a little when she finally heard Anya padding back towards the living room. She wanted to look, wanted to see what Anya had, but something told her the surprise would be worth it. When she felt Anya’s hand roughly grip her thong and pull it down to her thighs, she wished she had looked though, because then a cold gel of some kind slicked over her backside. She shuddered as the thick liquid clung to her skin, but she tried to stay still as best she could. The gel made her skin feel colder and colder as the time went on, but then Anya’s ungreased palm landed in the small of her back, the firm pressure holding her in place.

Knowing what was about to happen, didn’t actually prepare her for the feeling of Anya’s hand landing sharply against her ass though, and she gasped as the gel turned white-hot under Anya’s palm. Even after Anya’s hand moved away, it burned and stung, but it was only a few moments before the blow started to settle in. The stinging mellowed until all that was left behind was spreading warmth and tingling nerves, and the anticipation for more. It left her feeling heavy, almost like she was falling into a daze. The one thing Octavia could focus on though, was how her clit throbbed. It was like it was begging her to push back, to seek out Anya’s hand that was surely hovering near by, but Octavia held herself still, trusting that Anya would give her more when she was ready. The moment she had leaned over the side of that couch, she had given herself over to Anya’s control, and she would hold to that. There was trust in a relationship, and then there was _trust in a relationship._

Lost in those thoughts, it wasn’t until she felt Anya’s thumb rubbing gentle circles against the skin of her lower back, that Octavia realized Anya had asked her something. Of course, she hadn’t heard a word, too deep inside her own head to notice much else. After a moment, Anya’s whole hand started to move against her back, and she felt Anya lean down close as she said, “O, you still with me?”

Not trusting her voice, Octavia nodded, but she knew that wouldn’t be enough. If her limited experience with Anya had taught her anything, Octavia knew that Anya would want to hear her consent out loud. It was really very sweet actually, how much Anya cared about her consent, so she croaked out her best, “y-yeah,” and hoped it was loud enough for Anya to hear.

Anya’s lips pressed against the side of her head then, and Octavia sighed at the tender gesture. A second or two later, she felt Anya’s fingers card through her hair and sweep it away from her face. Then Anya’s lips ghosted over her cheek for a moment, before Anya whispered against her ear, “Do you wanna keep going?” When she nodded again, Anya chuckled a little bit, but pressed on, her tone taking on a dangerous note as she added, “Can you be a good girl and keep count for me? I’d hate to forget what number we were on and have to start over…”

Not sure whether that was an empty threat or not, Octavia hurried to reply, quickly coughing out, “y-yeah, yeah… that’s one…” She felt Anya’s lips linger only for a second before Anya’s hand was pressing down on her lower back again. She tried to relax as she felt Anya’s fingers tense, tried to sink into that daze again, but even though she breathed through Anya’s next stroke, the sting was far worse. Anya had slapped the same spot as before, and to say the sensation was intense, would be an understatement. Her voice caught in her throat as she tried to respond, but eventually she managed to hiss out, “Shhhit, T-two.” The softly drawn circles of against her back resumed a moment later, reassuring her through the worst of it. The contact helped in other ways too; the stinging eventually settling into that warm tingle again, and as it spread over her body, Octavia found herself only wanting more.

A huskily whispered, “good girl,” was all Octavia heard before the third blow landed, sharp and loud. Thankfully, it was on her other cheek, but Octavia was sure it was at least as hard as the first two combined. An unexpected cry drove its way out of her throat as the sting burned its way deep into her flesh, and she couldn’t help the way her body flinch away from the sudden pain either.

Feeling Anya’s hand twitch against her back, Octavia knew what that meant; Anya was having second thoughts. The burn was already starting to settle in though, making Octavia feel even heavier, and she couldn’t imagine Anya stopping, not when she was finally learning how good a spanking could feel. The second Octavia had enough breath to count, she huffed out, “Three,” into her elbow as loud as she could, hoping that if she kept up her part, Anya would keep hers up too.

It was a few more seconds before the tension in Anya’s body drifted away again. When it did though, Octavia shivered as she felt Anya lean over her prone form, blowing a cool stream of air over the hot, slick skin of her rear. The rush of breath seemed to make the gel grow cold again, almost to the point of numbing, and Octavia sighed at the moment of relief. Without that tingling warmth to distract her, Octavia allowed herself a moment to take stock of her body. She didn’t get very however, her mind immediately focusing on her throbbing clit again. She could feel how her own slick was running freely down her inner thighs too, probably ruining the arm of Anya’s couch. She couldn’t be concerned with that for long though, because when Anya’s next strike landed, all conscious thought stopped. The blow was a little lower and more centralized than the others, causing Anya’s fingertips to overlap the outer lips of her core. Whether it was what Anya had meant to do, or just a happy accident, Octavia didn’t care, because even though her clit stung and burned, she felt like she wanted that sharp feeling again and again.

The only way to get that was to keep counting though, and she screamed “Four!” before the echo of Anya’s blow had even tapered off. The speed of her response clearly drew Anya’s attention, but at least it drew her touch too, and Octavia gasped as Anya’s hand returned to the scene of her last strike. Her touch was soft and gentle, like Anya was petting her, but the sensation only seemed to enflame Octavia more. She’d managed to hold still for the first few strokes of Anya’s slick fingers, but it wasn’t long before she couldn’t take it the waiting anymore. She pushed back almost violently then, half-hoping that Anya would pop her again just for her disobedience.

Anya’s dry chuckle was even more incensing, and she struggled to push back again, but Anya pushed down more firmly on her tailbone and said, “You liked that, didn’t you? You liked how the sting made your clit burn, didn’t you?” Unable to stop herself, Octavia moaned at the words, her body trying to push back again, even with more of Anya’s weight over her back than before. She felt Anya’s shirt scrape over her skin, just before she heard Anya whisper, “I bet you’ll like coming like that too…”

Not a second later, Anya’s hand drew away from her folds, only to return again and again, as a series of sharp slaps rained down against her most-sensitive skin. Each blow made her clit burn and her insides pulse and her blood boil, but somehow, Octavia managed to keep counting, choking out each word, “Five, SIX, s-seven, e-e-eight, nin… Te—” Ultimately, her voice abandoned her there, but Anya kept going, and Octavia couldn’t have been more ok with that. Somewhere around blow twelve or thirteen, the sting transformed, and that heavy, warm feeling returned ten-fold. It spread outward from her core, consuming her as it made its way through her entire body, driving her over the edge before she even realized what was happening. Her second orgasm of the evening was much deeper than the first, continuing on and on, even as Anya’s sharp blows slowly decreased to nothing. In the end, Anya was only cupping her core, covering her as her insides continued to clench and contract, although weaker and weaker each time.

It was a very long time before Octavia could do anything more than breathe. As she came down, Anya’s constant praise sang through her body though, the words comforting her beyond her own understanding of the feeling. “Such a good girl… Taking your punishment so well for me… Waiting for me to give you what you needed… Such a good, gorgeous girl,” drifted through her ears, until finally, the waves of her orgasm ebbed. The intensity of it all left her muscles feeling so loose and dense that she wasn’t even sure how she was still standing. She was barely conscious of the movement as Anya carefully rolled her over, lifting her at the same time, until Octavia found herself cradled in Anya’s strong arms.

Groaning at the way she sagged and drooped across Anya’s frame, Octavia tried put some effort into supporting herself, but quickly found that she simply didn’t have the energy. She tried to lift her head to nuzzle in closer to Anya’s neck, only for it to loll over the other direction, eventually just flopping heavily against her other shoulder. Anya righted it for her though, jostling her a little awkwardly, until her head thumped against Anya’s chest again. She didn’t even have the energy to help Anya by holding on around Anya’s neck, her arms too loose to do more than just wiggle underneath her shoulders as Anya swayed their way down the hall. She sighed when Anya gently laid her out face down on the bed, but she couldn’t fight back the whimper that bubbled out of her throat when she felt Anya pull away instead of climbing onto the bed with her. Her whining was short lived though, a and she quieted as she felt Anya’s fingers brush over the clasp of her bra. The garment fell away from her back with ease, but it was still trapped around her shoulders. That was fine with Octavia, at least for the moment, but it seemed Anya had other ideas. Still, she didn’t have the energy to resist as Anya rolled her from one side to the other, slipping the bra off over each of her arms. Once she was settled on her stomach again, Octavia let out another sigh, as she heard Anya whisper, “I’m just gonna go get something to clean you up with, and then I’ll rub something special into the places where it still hurts, alright?”

Octavia just grumbled when she felt Anya pull completely away then, leaving the bedside and then the room. It felt like Anya was only out of the room for a moment or two though, before Octavia felt a warm washcloth drifting over her skin. Starting with her inner thighs, Anya began to wipe away the mess she had made. It felt a little disappointing, as it did every time Octavia got cleaned up after a round or three with Anya, but as the cloth glided over her, Octavia sighed. She loved the way Anya seemed to take extra care not to press down too hard on her tender flesh. The cloth disappeared for a moment then, only to return for another pass a second later. She figured Anya was going back over her with a cleaner section of the cloth, but Octavia still didn’t the energy to do more than just lay there, so she really couldn’t be sure.

The strokes were gentle and soothing, and Octavia could tell that was the intent, but she couldn’t help hissing when Anya’s fingers returned to her skin after the cloth had been tossed aside. A new sort of sensation spread over her then, as Anya began rubbing some kind of cream into her skin. It smelled like lavender, with maybe just a hint of mint, and as it soaked into her muscles, a profound, almost blissful, numbness followed. She whirred at the sensation, sinking further into the bed, as Anya’s fingertips began working the lotion deeper into the muscles of her ass. Eventually, a soft, “so… how are you feeling?” came from beside her, and she gathered her energy as best she could to turn her head towards the sound.

Anya’s eyes were full and dark, desire clearly evident in their depths, but Octavia could see the concern swimming beneath the surface too. She smiled, despite how drained she felt, loving these tender moments with Anya even more than the harsh ones. Anya had brought her all the way to the edge of her sanity and then brought her back to reality all over again, and it was perfect; she felt perfect. She tried to respond, only to get choked up on how dry her throat was; apparently, her voice was still weak from all the screaming she had done. She blinked and swallowed before she tried again, staring up into Anya’s eyes as she finally said, “I… I feel perfect… You’re perfect.” She was sure she sounded silly, but as Anya crawled up into the bed beside her, she really couldn’t think of any better way to describe it… just perfect.

 

~~~

 

The walk back to the car had Abby more than a little unsettled. Raven hadn’t said anything since they’d left the club, except a small, “thank you,” when Abby had saved her from tripping and falling on the sidewalk. Abby tried not to let Raven’s quiet demeanor affect her, but the absence of Raven’s usually jovial self was disconcerting. Maybe Raven was having seconds thoughts; or, maybe she was still worried about Clarke’s reactions. Abby knew they didn’t need to worry about Clarke anymore, though. Clarke rarely said things she didn’t mean, and if she said she was happy for them, then she probably was.

If Raven was having second thoughts; well, there wasn’t much Abby could say or do about that. She had them too. How could she not? Bonding with Raven was the single most impulsive thing she had ever done. The idea of taking another mate had never even occurred to her. Still, it had happened anyway, and she knew that there was no going back, unless they decided to live with the constant pain of separation. The ache she felt when Raven was at work had weakened over the course of the week, but she knew if they were away from each other for too long, it would come back with a vengeance. Raven wasn’t fragile either, not by any definition of the word, but Abby felt like Raven already had enough pain to deal with to add more. She saw it on Raven’s face sometimes, the little grimaces of pain wrinkling her lips. Other times, Abby only heard it instead, the soft grunts and heavy sighs as Raven tried to move around. She couldn’t imagine condemning Raven to more pain, especially when her presence was all that was needed to avoid it.

Not wanting to make anything worse, Abby decided not to say anything about Raven’s mood until they were home; maybe not until they were cuddled up in bed together, so she could whisper reassurances into Raven’s hair until she fell asleep. By the time they reached the Mercedes, Raven’s bearing seemed to have lighten a little anyway, making the decision to wait that much easier to follow.  Abby helped Raven inside the car with a smile on her face, loving the way Raven gripped her arm to steady herself as she climbed inside. As she crossed around the front end to get in herself, Abby couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she should trade cars though; the AMG was great for when she needed to zip around the city, but it was awfully low to the ground too. Something higher would be easier for Raven to get into and out of, but she thought that Raven probably wouldn’t like being patronized either.

That debate was for another time however, and Abby forced herself to focus on the present instead as she climbed into the driver’s seat. She was barely settled in before she felt Raven’s hand come to rest on her thigh, just above her knee. The contact felt oddly soothing, like everything she’d been worrying about simply started to drift away at Raven’s touch. She needed to worry about getting them home though, so she only offered Raven a brief smile in response before she started the car and got them on the road. The drive back to the townhouse wasn’t nearly as long, or as exciting, as the drive to Polaris had been, but Abby wasn’t going to complain. It seemed that whatever had been bothering Raven earlier was far from her mind, and with Raven’s hand occasionally squeezing or rubbing her thigh, Abby only worried about the cars in front of her. She knew what Raven was after of course; reassurance and reconnection. That was all Abby wanted too, to show Raven how much she cared for her and how much she wanted her. Abby knew that she would spend the rest of her life reassuring Raven if that’s what it took. Her alpha wouldn’t mind the opportunity to reaffirm her claim on Raven either.

It was only a couple of blocks west to the bridge, and then only a few more blocks past that, but Abby was still grateful when she saw their townhouse come into view. Still, it was late on a weeknight, so finding parking spot was a challenge, but eventually she found one half-way down the next block. It would be a long walk in the morning when she left for work, but the walk would be even longer for Raven. There weren’t any other options though, so she just escorted Raven as best she could, clutching tightly to her hand the whole way. Raven didn’t falter too much, at least until they got to the stairs. She secretly loved the way Raven leaned into her then, using Abby to hoist herself each step. It was pretty obvious Raven was tried though, and Abby wondered if Raven would consent to being carried up the two flights of stairs to their bedroom. She knew Raven didn’t like it, but she figured if it meant Raven still had energy left when they finally got into bed, it was at least worth it to ask. Just when Abby was about to do just that though, Raven cut her off at the pass, turning to her in front of their door and asking softly, “Take me to bed?”

Grinning, Abby was happy that Raven felt secure enough to ask for her help like that. It was nice, and not just because Abby wanted Raven to have enough energy for them to make love before falling asleep. It was nice that Raven trusted her, would allow Abby to keep her safe and take care of her, even when Raven didn’t like that she needed to be taken care of. She gratefully scooped Raven up into her arms then and started to carry her omega up the stairs, sighing as Raven arms fell around her neck and shoulders. She relished in the feeling of having Raven cradled in her arms, so close that Raven’s face was pressed into her neck. For a moment, she almost regretted suggesting that they have a stair lift installed, because it probably meant her opportunities to carry Raven would be fewer and farther between, but Abby decided she would just have to enjoy what she had and try to leave her regrets behind.

Thinking better of stopping at the bed though, Abby carried Raven all the way into the master bathroom, settling Raven onto the counter by the sink before letting her go. Abby smirked as she turned and opened the medicine cabinet on the opposite end of the counter from Raven, feeling Raven’s eyes following her the whole way. She pulled out her toothbrush then, loading it with paste and wetting it under the tap before quickly shoving it into her mouth for safe keeping. She reached back into the cabinet and pulled out Raven’s toothbrush too, wetting and loading it as well, before turning back to Raven. Raven was smiling at her, obviously enjoying the domesticity of the moment just as much as Abby, and she smiled back at her as Raven accepted the toothbrush and shoved into her own mouth.

Getting her teeth clean hadn’t ever giving Abby a reason to smile. It was usually a boring, although necessary task, but with Raven staring at her, fist wrapped around one end of her brush as she plunged the other end in and out of her mouth, Abby couldn’t help but smile. She tried not to think about the other applications of Raven’s lips, but when Raven’s smile turned a little wicked and the brush started to poke at the side of her cheek, Abby was bombarded with images: Raven’s mouth hot and heavy against her own, Raven’s breath steaming against the skin as Raven kissed her way across her chest, Raven’s warm mouth wrapped around her clit, sucking and pulling and nipping. She felt a sudden heaviness in her thighs, and she groaned as she felt her clit twitch and swell as her blood rushed inside her. Brushing her teeth may have never made her smile before, but certainly hadn’t ever turned her on either. She figured Raven could turn anything sexual but wasn’t like she minded. In all honestly, it was thrilling, being wanted like that, being desired by a woman as beautiful as Raven.

Pushing through her hazy thoughts wasn’t easy, but Abby managed, quickly finishing with her teeth. It seemed Raven was in a hurry then too, and they ended up taking turns spitting and rinsing into the sink. When she looked back at Raven though, white foam still hanging from her lower lip, Abby groaned again as more images flooded her mind: Raven’s mouth full of her come, so much that it dribbled out over her lips, sticky and thick, clinging to Raven’s skin. She gripped harshly at the counter as her clit twitched again, her blood rushing so fast then that she almost felt lightheaded. Raven’s hand at her cheek brought her back to reality though, cupping her jaw as she repeated her earlier words, “ _Take me to bed..._ ”

Abby had no choice but to comply to a request like that, compelled, both by the images running through her head and Raven’s sultry tone. She scooped Raven up off the counter, but instead of carrying her, she settled Raven onto the floor and walked with her, leading her to the bed by the hand. When they reached it, she spun Raven into her chest, cradling her from behind even as her hands slipped under the edge of Raven’s top. Raven shivered against her, and Abby smiled in anticipation of what was to come. She almost laughed when Raven’s arms shot up over her head; obviously, someone was eager to have her top come off. Abby didn’t rush as she trailed her hands higher though, brushing them lightly over Raven’s quivering stomach for a second before moving up to tease the edges of Raven’s bra instead. Raven shuddered again, and that time, Abby had to hide her smirk in Raven’s neck. She loved being able to make Raven tremble like that, knowing that with just the lightest brush of her fingers affected Raven so much. She breathed Raven in deep then, hoping to catch a hint of Raven’s arousal, but the steamy scent was so strong it quickly overwhelmed her, driving her a little wild. She whipped Raven’s top off then, suddenly needing better access to Raven’s skin. She heard Raven gasp at the move but then sigh the breath out again, as Abby wrapped her arms back around her.

Holding Raven tight to her chest, Abby allowed her hands to drift higher again, cupping Raven’s breasts through her thin bra instead of just teasing around the edges. She felt Raven’s nipples harden immediately when her fingers brushed over them and she relished in the feeling of them poking into the palms of her hands, straining against the fabric, desperate for her touch. Raven moaned when she squeezed them, and Abby wanted nothing more than to hear that sound again and again. She began teasing Raven’s nipples through the fabric then, pinching the straining tips with her fingertips and rubbing her palms over them. The husky, “please” that escaped Raven’s lips was like a drug, quickly pulling Abby under its control and Abby gratefully sank into that word’s power. Moving up, Abby played with the straps for a second before tracing the strips of fabric behind Raven’s back. Raven leaned forward a little then, trying to give Abby better access to the clasp, but Abby ended up having to widen her stance a little as Raven’s ass pressed back into her hips. The simple pressure made Abby shiver, the round swells of Raven’s cheeks dragging against her in such a way that Abby struggled just to stay standing at all.

Focusing on the task at hand though, Abby finally brought her fingertips to the hooks of Raven’s bra and loosened them, quickly pushing the sides away, and pulling the straps down Raven’s shoulders. It was Raven’s turn to shiver then, but Abby simply brought her hands back around and cupped Raven’s breasts, helping Raven fight off the sudden chill that Abby knew had made Raven tremble. Raven moaned again, much more lewdly than before, and the sound inspired Abby to squeeze and massage those perfect breasts all over again. Raven’s ass rolled back against her with every caress, but Abby did her best to resist the urge to just pull Raven back into her body until she came in her pants. She wanted to come; of course, she did, but she didn’t want to rush towards the edge either. She wanted to build it and savor it, and she wanted to do the same for Raven too.

With that goal in mind, Abby moved one of her hands down, teasing the skin of Raven’s stomach again as she continued massaging Raven’s breast with her other hand. Feeling Raven’s muscles move under her hand was one of Abby’s favorite things in the world, the tension making them jump and roll beneath Raven’s soft, smooth skin. Obviously, there were places on Raven’s skin that weren’t smooth, like the curved surgery scar on Raven’s lower back and the angry-looking scars that tore down the side her bad hip. There was the little cut on Raven’s forehead that was still healing too, but those spots only made Abby think Raven was more beautiful though. The evidence of how far Raven had come seemed to make Raven glow right before her eyes. When her fingers finally brushed the waistband of Raven’s pants, the violent shudder that shot through Raven’s body made Abby fumble for a moment, and she quickly realized that Raven probably needed to sit before they went any further.

Turning Raven in her arms with ease, Abby brought their lips together, capturing Raven’s mouth in a fierce kiss. Raven met her with equal fervor, pressing into her as their mouths molded together. She groaned as she felt Raven’s fingernails dig into her back, pulling her even closer. When their pelvises finally aligned, Abby wasn’t sure who groaned then; she was too busy focusing on getting Raven onto the bed safely instead. She pushed her hands up under Raven’s arms, lifting slightly as she walked Raven back a step and when she thought they were close enough, she lowered Raven towards the bed. Raven sank into the edge and Abby followed, dropping to her knees between Raven’s feet. She moved to bring her hands up to rest on Raven’s knees, but she hesitated just above the top strap of Raven’s brace instead. She looked up then, not sure if Raven wanted her to take the brace off or if Raven wanted to do it herself, but when she saw the soft smile on Raven’s face, she knew Raven wanted her to do it. She made quick work of the device, driven by her desire to get beyond that layer and move on to the next, but she wasn’t so crazed that she discarded the brace the second it was off though. Instead, she shuffled down towards the footboard to lean it up there. She always tried to leave it somewhere that Raven could easily reach it if she needed it.

Feeling Raven’s palm pressing into the side of her neck, Abby brought her eyes back up to Raven’s face, gratefully accepting the praise as Raven whispered, “thank you.” She smiled even though she felt like Raven didn’t need to thank her for something like that. It was just common sense, leaving the brace where Raven could get to it, but the way Raven was looking at her made Abby think that Raven was thanking her for more than just that. She leaned into the contact as Raven’s hand trailed up to cup her cheek, closing her eyes and rubbing her face against Raven’s palm so she could fully enjoy the slightly-calloused texture. Raven’s gentle touch, combined with that little bit of roughness, always seemed to turn Abby on, but when that hand turned more insistent, Abby shuddered as she felt Raven’s nails drag down the side of her neck.

Another husky, “please,” whispered through the air, and Abby couldn’t help the way her eyes flashed open at the sound, immediately fixing on Raven’s face. Swirling dark eyes and an almost pained grimace; Raven was obviously desperate for something, and Abby thought she knew just what Raven needed. Quickly shuffling back between Raven’s knees, her hands flew to the button and zipper of Raven’s pants, only for a disgruntled noise to sound from above her. She felt Raven’s hand clench in the fabric of her shirt then and Abby finally understood what Raven wanted. She moved her hands to the hem of her shirt, intent on taking it off, but Raven’s next words made her pause, “what if I wanted to do it?”

Smiling, Abby dropped her hands from her shirt hem and stood up, totally unable to deny such a needy request. She shivered when she felt Raven’s hands come to rest on her hips, knowing it wouldn’t be long before they were moving up under her shirt. She leaned forward a little to help Raven with the angle, and only a moment later, Raven’s hands were sliding up her sides, carrying her top up with them. Before Abby knew it, Raven was pulling her top over her head too. Her bra followed shortly thereafter, Raven’s deft, mechanic’s fingers making quick work of the fastener. She felt a little silly, leaning awkwardly over Raven as Raven pulled the straps down over her arms, but when she tried to stand back up, a sudden, hot, wetness enveloped her right nipple. Her hands fell to Raven’s shoulders of their own accord then, digging into the muscles there to keep herself from toppling forward. Raven groaned as her hands squeezed and the vibrations against her already straining nipple made Abby moan in return, the sensations zipping through her body like lightening, setting fire to her nerves along the way.

It wasn’t long before Abby was absolutely throbbing inside her underwear, but when she felt teeth graze the hardened tip of her breast, she cried out, her clit twitching forcefully against the wet fabric of her briefs. Suddenly, it was her own knees that felt weak, and she nearly collapsed when she felt Raven’s fingers scrambling to get to the fly of her pants. Those pants were gone a moment later, along with her underwear, Raven’s strong hands making their descent all that much easier. The rapid exposure made Abby gasp, and she jerked away as the chill of the room rushed between her thighs. Another disgruntled grunt came from Raven then, but without the distraction of Raven’s hot mouth on her, Abby noticed that Raven was still wearing her pants. That just wouldn’t do, she needed to see Raven the way Raven was seeing her.

Without hesitation, Abby sank down again, her hands meeting the tops of Raven’s jeans the second her knees were firmly planted on the floor. The muscles of Raven’s stomach jumped towards her fingers as she slipped the button loose, but Abby managed to resist the urge to touch them, forcing herself to focus on Raven’s zipper instead. Raven’s hips rolled up towards her as she tried to get the zipper down though, and all Abby could do then, was push forward as well. She kept her hands working, but that didn’t stop her from swiftly sucking at the skin just below Raven’s navel, needing to feel Raven’s muscles tremble beneath her lips. Breath hitched above her, but she reluctantly pulled away from Raven’s stomach as she began tugging Raven’s jeans down over her legs. The removal of Raven’s jeans revealed a dark, wet mark on the front of Raven’s briefs, and Abby wasn’t prepared for how overwhelming that sight was, instantly leaning back in. She couldn’t help herself; she had smell it, had to taste it, had to experience Raven’s arousal in every way she could, because it was all hers. Raven was _hers,_ just as she was _Raven’s_.

Lightly dragging her nose over the front of Raven’s briefs, Abby thought that the smell of Raven’s arousal was like nothing else in the world, hot and tangy and sweet, but as Abby’s tongue followed her nose, she thought maybe it wasn’t just Raven’s flavor that was like no other. Maybe, it was Raven herself who was not of this world. Lapping and sniffing and purring, Abby teased Raven through the wet fabric then, knowing that Raven would enjoy the attention as well as the denial, but eventually Abby wanted more. She needed to feel Raven’s skin with her own, needed to taste Raven without the barrier in between. She brought her hands up to rest on Raven’s hips, smirking against Raven’s center when Raven shivered at the new contact. Raven huffed above her, obviously feeling her smirk, but that huff was quickly followed by a gasp as Abby took a firm grip in the sides of Raven’s underwear and began to pull.

 Raven’s hips bucked into her face then, rising off the bed, and Abby relished in that warmth for just a moment more as she finally pulled Raven’s briefs down over her ass. Reluctantly, she leaned back to give herself some room, but when the full force of Raven’s scent hit her, she found herself scrambling to get Raven’s underwear off. All she could think about was burying her face in Raven’s center once again. In her haste, Abby got a little caught up around on of Raven’s ankles, but eventually, she managed to pull Raven’s underwear all the way off. When she looked back up, Raven was smirking down at her, a look of mischief in her eyes. Abby knew why; she was the one who was looking at Raven with wild, hungry eyes then, but Abby refused to feel embarrassed by it. She was proud of her desire, and she had every intention on acting on it, until she heard Raven whisper uncertainly, “t-together?”

There was implication there, as well as hesitation, and Abby nearly gasped when she realized what Raven was asking. It wasn’t something she’d ever done before, but like with so many other things with Raven, just the idea thrilled her. Mounting Raven’s face while she went down on Raven as well sounded like nothing short of paradise. It felt elicit and exciting, but because it was Raven, it felt safe and natural too, and Abby found herself nodding easily, as she replied, “Ok, together.” She followed as Raven scrambled back onto the bed, settling beside her for just a second to kiss her, before shifting around so that her knees were on either side of Raven’s head. There was a bit of uncoordinated shuffling when some of Raven’s hair ended up under her knee, but Abby didn’t mind a little awkwardness, not when Raven’s legs finally fell open below her, revealing the most delicious sight Abby had ever seen. Flushed outer lips darkened by arousal, trim, glistening folds beyond, and the head of Raven’s clit, straining against the open air, already swollen out from under its hood, begging Abby to suck on it.

Unable to resist even for a second, Abby swiftly encircled her arms around Raven’s thighs and dove in. Raven filled her senses in a matter of moments: the softness, the bouquet, the tang, the sounds, the view. It was too much, all the stimulation making Abby’s vision blur. Overwhelmed trying to take in everything at once, Abby eventually had to close her eyes. She couldn’t continue processing what she was seeing anymore anyway. Instead, she did everything by feel, gripping and tugging at the backs of Raven’s thighs, trying to pull Raven closer even as Raven’s hips began to roll up to meet her mouth. She licked around her own lips, trying to savor as much of Raven as she could as Raven’s slick began to coat the lower half of her face. She roamed through Raven’s drenched folds, licking every inch of Raven’s core that she could reach, driven to tease more and more of those wanton sounds from Raven’s own mouth. When Abby felt Raven’s hands, bracketing her hips and pulling down, she couldn’t resist that either, widening her knees, and finally sinking down on top of Raven.

Even with Raven’s hot breath warming her skin, Abby managed to keep her own need mostly in check, as she continued to tend to Raven’s needs. She could feel Raven nosing and licking through her own folds, but at least for a while, her own needs seemed secondary to Raven’s, like she wouldn’t be able to come if Raven wasn’t with her when she was ready. When she felt Raven’s lips completely surround her clit and sucked it deep into her mouth, her need came roaring back to the surface though, especially when Raven’s lips stayed firmly attached to her as the rest of Raven’s face pulled away. The draw felt incredible, making Abby keen and arch away from Raven’s core, but she quickly reburied her face and resumed pleasing Raven, determined not to come until Raven was ready too. Redoubling her efforts, it didn’t take long before Raven was gasping wildly against her core, licking and sucking at her clit in between panted breaths. Abby knew then that Raven felt just as desperate as she did, and even though she didn’t want to, she forced herself to pull away from Raven’s clit to cough out, “G-go ahead, honey. I’m… I’m with you.”

Raven’s mouth broke away from her then as well, and Abby nearly sobbed at the loss, but when she heard the quiet, “together?” come from between her thighs, she nearly sobbed for an entirely different reason. She could still hear that hesitation in Raven’s voice, that uncertainty, and it wrenched at Abby’s heart. Of course, she wanted to come with Raven; it was the best feeling in the world when they came at the same time, but then she realized that Raven’s plea wasn’t just about reaching the edge together. Finally, Abby was starting to understand Raven’s pensive nature from earlier. Raven was still worried that Abby was going to leave her, and while that hurt a little, Abby wasn’t deterred by it. She knew from experience relationships took work, and while she and Jake had finally agreed that getting a divorce and living separate lives was right for them, Abby couldn’t imagine spending a single day without Raven by her side. They were already like a matching set of spoons, fitting into each other so well, that Abby was starting to feel like she didn’t know where she ended, and Raven began. She couldn’t imagine separating from Raven, not ever, not even in death.

A huffed breath against her wet thigh, snatched Abby away from that long, dark road just in time though, and she sighed as she placed a gentle kiss to the top of Raven’s mound. She whispered, “together,” against Raven’s skin then, before sinking down to dive back in again. At first, Abby wasn’t sure whether Raven had heard her or not, but when she felt Raven hum against her sex, Abby knew they were on the same page. She followed suite as Raven took her completely inside her mouth once again, sucking and pulling at Raven’s engorged clit, just as Raven started to do the same to her.

One of them started it, the seizing and clenching and shaking, Abby just wasn’t sure which; she didn’t really care either, as the rapid rolling waves of her release washed over her. She could feel how high Raven was soaring too, and that only added to her own pleasure. Knowing that she could drive Raven to such heights fed her ego as well as her heart and that feeling carried her even higher, to the point that Abby wasn’t sure she’d ever come down. As her release finally crested though, Abby suddenly realized how exhausted the day had made her. The mind-altering orgasm she just had hadn’t helped with that either. She desperately tried not to suffocate Raven, tried to push herself up onto shaky arms and legs, but when Raven’s hands gripped her hips and pulled her back down, Abby didn’t have the strength to resist. She landed on top of Raven in an unapologetic huff, but when Raven released a pleased sigh, Abby realized that her prone position was exactly what Raven was after. Raven’s tongue began to probe at her then; broad, flat laps and light, little swirling patterns, and while it felt incredible, it didn’t take Abby long to figure out that Raven was cleaning her. Abby knew she would be neglecting her duties as a good mate if she didn't return the favor, and if she accidentally got Raven worked up again in the process, so be it; making love to Raven was more important than sleep anyway.


	31. The In-Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was first writing this story, I thought that chapter 30 would be the last. 'The Right Track' seemed like a good place to stop, but then I realized there were so many loose ends I hadn't tied up. I also knew that if I wasn't satisfied with where the story ended, anyone reading it probably wouldn't be either, so this next chapter is a time jump. It spans the time 'in-between' the big blow out with Clarke, up until the day before Octavia's fight with Ontari, with the fight being chapter 32, and then so on from there.
> 
> Anyway... I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I look forward to diving into proofreading the next one tomorrow...

Time seemed to pass almost too quickly after that. People fell into routines and for the most part, things settled down… at least for a little while.

 

~~~

 

Train, train, train… For two weeks, Octavia felt like all she did was train. Prepping for her fight, either physically or mentally, took over her whole life. Even with all that training though, she was still so worried that she wouldn’t be ready that she’d almost convinced herself to skip class a few times, just to work out more. She hadn’t skipped, of course, but only because Anya had managed to talk her out of it, offering to come by after work every day and spend some time sparring with her instead. Octavia wasn’t going to turn down a chance to see Anya every day, especially because her heightened training schedule didn’t leave much room for socializing, or anything else for that matter. It wasn’t until a week into her new schedule that Octavia realized she’d only spoken to Raven twice and Clarke once since the big blow out. She figured they were both a little preoccupied with their own lives though, so it made sense. Hopefully, they would have more time to hang out together when she wasn’t spending every waking minute training.

Well, she was spending every night at Anya’s too, so that wasn’t helping, but with Raven pretty much already moved in at Abby’s, and Clarke at Lexa’s most of the time too, she didn’t want to spend any more time alone in their used-to-be shared apartment than was necessary. She went by every day, or every other, mostly to change out the clothes in her bag for clean ones or to check the mail, but still, it was sort of depressing. She peaked into Raven’s room every time she went by, and it hurt to see Raven’s stuff disappear piece by piece. At least, when she peaked into Clarke’s room, the opposite was true; there was still a mountain dirty clothes in the corner, one that only seemed to be getting bigger every time Octavia looked to see if Clarke was home. She couldn’t judge though; the pile in her room was almost just as bad.

As that first week moved into the next though, Octavia began to really feel the pressure. It built inside her throughout each day, and even though she slept well every night, she was still waking up more and more tense the next day. She knew why; ‘the fight’ was looming ever closer too but knowing that didn’t make the tension any easier to handle either. Trying to ignore it only made her more nervous and on edge. The only thing that actually helped, was working with Anya, both in and out of the cage. They sparred every night, like Anya had promised, and it was good, challenging Octavia in ways she hadn’t thought it would. Anya’s military background gave her a unique perspective on combat, but that only pushed Octavia out of comfort zone, which was actually a really good way to practice thinking outside the box. If she was going to beat Ontari, she knew she’d have to be good enough to surprise her, and that would definitely take some unconventional thinking.

It was when they left the gym and went back to Anya’s place, that Octavia truly enjoyed Anya’s experience and expertise though. Anya tried her stamina and her patience. Anya turned her in to a quivering needy mess, but then gave her the freedom she needed to let go over and over. In short, their sex life was great, despite the limited about of time they were spending on it. Time constraints notwithstanding, there were a couple things about their nightly trysts that actually bothered Octavia. First, was Anya’s little toy room, hiding away in plain sight, lying in wait behind those unassuming double doors of the hall closet. The contents seemed to loom over her every morning when she walked by it on her way to the kitchen. It was even worse at night, those doors seeming to laugh at her as she and Anya made their way to Anya’s bedroom for a little quality time before falling asleep. They hadn’t really talked about it, not beyond that night after the blow out anyway, and even then, they hadn’t talked about _all of it_. When they had a few minutes to spare they were usually busy doing instead of talking, but when they were home and alone, the prospect of what was behind those doors was never far from Octavia’s mind.

Anya’s fire, that down-right, Alpha possessiveness, that Anya had displayed time and time again was gone too. Well, maybe gone wasn’t quite the right way to put it. Octavia still caught little glimpses of it here and there; like the night Anya had bent her over the edge of the bed and fucked her over and over again with her fingers, slapping her ass harder and harder every time she came. The night that Anya had made her come so many times she nearly cried came to mind too, but even on those nights, Octavia felt like Anya was holding herself back. Figuring it was just her upcoming bout making her antsy and irritable, Octavia didn’t mention it, but secretly she hoped she hadn’t seen the last of Anya’s dominant nature. Something about Anya taking such complete control over her was addicting, and she felt a little like a junkie looking for fix without that release.

Octavia tried to put all that out of her mind, tried to really focus on her training, but in the end, she was only mildly successful. She found herself trying to come up with ways to draw Anya’s alpha closer to the surface instead, eventually going so far as to invite Lincoln to come by the gym one night and watch her spar with Anya. Little did Octavia know, Lincoln had a bit of a military background as well, and when Octavia told Anya that Lincoln was coming by, Anya seemed pleased, encouraging Octavia spar with Lincoln instead of her, to _get a little variety,_ Anya had said. Any dreams of Anya dragging her off to the locker room in a fit of possessiveness died instantly. Sparring with Lincoln was boring after that disappointment; Octavia was far too fast for him, avoiding every blow he tried to land and delivering two of her own in its place. After only two rounds, she called a stop to it, claiming she was tired and ready to go home. Lincoln seemed grateful for the stop, but Anya just seemed pensive, offering only a grunt of acknowledgement before gathering her things and preparing to head home.

If she’d regretted her little stunt with Lincoln before, she felt even worse when Anya refused to take her at all that night, saying that she’d been selfish with Octavia’s down time. Anya went on to insist that Octavia stay at her own apartment, so she could get some obviously much-needed rest. Of course, that night was anything but restful; Octavia tossing and turning at any little sound, totally unable to get comfortable without Anya resting beside her. At least, when she saw Anya the next evening, Anya seemed just as drained as she did. They left the gym hand in hand that night, and Anya didn’t even ask if Octavia wanted to come over, just kissed her and said, “I’ll see you back at my place?” before climbing into her car and driving away. Their sex that night still wasn’t everything that Octavia really wanted, but when Anya tenderly drove her over the edge, not twice, but three times in a row, Octavia couldn’t really complain either.

When the last day before her fight came, Octavia woke up a complete wreck, and only got more nervous and agitated as the day went on. It wasn’t until Anya walked through the doors of the training room that evening, with flowers in one hand and fake prize belt in the other, that Octavia felt some of that tension drift away. The flowers weren’t roses, or lilies, or anything nearly as romantic as that, just yellow daffodils and some white clover. At first, Octavia thought it was just a generic bouquet that Anya had picked up at the grocery store, or even the bodega down the street from the gym. When Anya explained that the florist had said they were meant to bring good luck, she blushed at her own wild assumptions. The fake prize belt definitely looked like it was a cheap, kids toy though, like ‘everything for a dollar’ store cheap. She laughed when Anya explained that that was exactly where she had found one, but she just ended up feeling sheepish when Anya went on to say that she’d spent her lunch break every day that week looking for it. Despite her embarrassment, Octavia swooned at the gesture anyway though, realizing that not only was Anya wishing her luck, but Anya was also saying that she was already a winner, no matter what happened the following night. The simplicity of it, and the silliness, touched Octavia in a way she couldn’t quite understand. They didn’t spar that night. Octavia didn’t think she could, even if she’d wanted to; she was too tired to even think. Instead, they went out for a nice, light meal, and an even nicer overnight stay at Anya’s after. The aggressive side of Anya still didn’t resurface, but as Anya held her in her arms after another earth-bending orgasm, Octavia realized that she was falling in love with Anya anyway; the possessive alpha and the tender lover, all rolled into one.

 

~~~

 

When Clarke walked into work the day after her big blow out, and subsequent makeup, with her mom, she was surprised to find Niylah standing at the counter talking to a man she was sure she recognized. He was familiar, but she just couldn’t place his face. He seemed so familiar in fact, that Clarke almost interjected herself into their conversation to ask who he was, but she clammed up when she heard Niylah say that the painting that hung behind the cash register wasn’t for sale. The man started to protest, but Niylah just kept going, insisting that is was an original done by one of her employees as a gift, and she wasn’t interested in selling it. Clarke knew that they were talking about the abstract portrait she had made for Niylah the year before, when she’d been promoted to assistant manager. It made Clarke smile to hear that Niylah wouldn’t even hear of parting with it, but it also made her a little upset too. She figured Niylah would have at least told him where he could find more of her work, like at the coffee shop just down the street or even at that fancy gallery across town where she had a whole two pieces on display. Niylah just dismissed him instead, simply handing him his bag and ending their conversation with a terse, “Have a nice day now.”

That awkwardness aside, Clarke worked in a sort of happy haze most of the day, daydreaming about getting to spend her evening with Lexa. The next day was much the same too, but the up-all-day at work/up-all-night with Lexa schedule really started to take its toll by the third day. She tried to change her shifts around, hoping to take on more second shifts, but even when she tried to bribe Niylah with promises of doing all the stocking and inventory forever, Niylah still didn’t budge. It wasn’t until Clarke mentioned doing another painting for her as a thank you that Niylah even considered it. She said that Clarke would do all the stocking and inventory anyway, because that was her job, but that if Clarke made her another painting, then they would see about a change to her schedule. Clarke laughed a little though, when she saw Niylah put up the schedule for the following week, realizing quickly that she wasn’t scheduled before noon any day that week. She thought about thanking Niylah the next day but decided she would just hold up her end of the bargain and make a new piece for Niylah to show her appreciation instead.

Making that piece wasn’t exactly a hardship either. It seemed Clarke had found her muse. Every night after she closed the store, she would dash home, change clothes, re-pack her bag with fresh clothes for the next day, and then head straight to Polaris. She danced and she chatted with patrons, and even made a few new friends. She found she was quite fond of Ryder despite his burly nature. The rest of the time she sat behind Lexa in the booth while Lexa worked. It didn’t take her long to figure out that while she was watching Lexa spin, with the music and the atmosphere and the emotions swirling around, she was easily inspired. Most of the pieces she created were just line drawings, because she couldn’t exactly set up an easel and her oil paints in the small DJ booth, but each drawing was more detailed than the last. Stark landscapes, abstract portraits, full-page textures, and even some anatomy drawings came out of the tip of her pen. Although, most of the ‘anatomy drawings’ were just replications of Lexa’s hands in different positions. She found that the more she watched Lexa work, the more she appreciated Lexa’s hands: the little scar on the inside of her left pinky where Lexa had cut herself once trying to cut up an apple, the birthmark in the middle of her right palm shaped kind of like a Kanji character, the short, soft hairs on the backs of her knuckles, white-blond despite Lexa’s tanned complexion.

Possibly the thing Clarke appreciated the most about Lexa’s hands though, was the length and grace of her fingers. Lexa could definitely take her places with those fingers, so many places in fact, that Clarke didn’t even think about missing the days of her heat. In fact, Lexa was almost more diligent about fulfilling her every need now that her heat was gone, but while the attention was refreshing, she almost felt like Lexa was treating her like a pillow princess or something. Anytime she tried to get her hands on Lexa, or her mouth for that matter, Lexa would softly shrug her off, saying something sweet like, “It’s ok, love. You look tired. I’m ok…” Even when Clarke tried to argue, that she wasn’t tired and that it wasn’t ok, Lexa would just kiss her and cuddle around her, and Clarke would end up falling asleep anyway.

It also didn’t escape her notice that in the mornings when Lexa scampered out of the bed, heading for the bathroom or the kitchen, Lexa was still wearing her boy shorts from the night before. Clarke couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d seen Lexa fully naked; maybe when Lexa was on her way to the shower the morning after her heat ended. It was a little shocking to realize that almost two weeks had passed since then, but while it hadn’t really bothered Clarke before, now that she recognized the pattern, she couldn’t help wondering what Lexa was hiding under those shorts. It was almost like a mystery waiting to be solved, but Clarke knew she’d have to be cautious about how she went about solving it. She could understand if Lexa was nervous about the changes her body had gone through for her in her heat, but Clarke also knew that they would have to find a way to talk about those nerves before the situation devolved into something a lot less manageable.

Her sex life wasn’t the only nervous situation she found herself in either. With all the extra pieces she was making at the club, she thought maybe she could convince Titus to let her put up a few of them to see if they’d sell. She was nervous though, because even after spending every night for two weeks in Polaris, Titus hadn’t said more than two words to her. At Lexa’s encouragement though, she approached him about it, only for Titus to insist, rather vehemently, that he take a percentage of anything that sold. By the time they finally agreed on a measly ten percent going to Titus, Clarke felt more confidant, wondering why Lexa had hyped Titus as such a shrewd negotiator. The gallery where she had sold a few paintings usually took twenty-five percent. The coffee shop even took twenty. At least at the coffee shop, Clarke knew that her money was going right into the tip cup. It seemed that Roan owned four coffee shops in and around the city, and being a reasonable man, he gave the money to his employees, because he obviously didn’t need it. It was one reasons she loved having her work hanging in Grounders, because she knew that when something sold, her favorite baristas were getting something out of it too.

When she’d gone back to Lexa and told her how it had gone with Titus, Lexa had said that maybe Titus wasn’t so concerned with how much he would get as long as he got something. Well, either that or he thought they wouldn’t sell at all. If that was the case, Titus was surely regretting that stand point, because every time Clarke put up a new piece, it sold the same night. The take home wasn’t much; the smaller pieces going for twenty dollars apiece, and the larger ones, thirty, but after a couple nights of going home with an extra fifty or a hundred dollars cash in her pocket, Clarke started to feel very good about the arrangement. Her excitement didn’t stop there either. One day while she was at work, she got a call on her cell. She’d let it go to voicemail because she thought it was rude to answer calls while she was at work, but when she finally checked the message though, she couldn’t return the call fast enough. It was from one of the people who had bought one of new her drawings and apparently, they wanted more like it. The woman claimed that every person who had seen the drawing on her desk had asked who is was by and where they could get one. Eventually, that conversation led to another, with another prospective buyer, and as these things go, he just happened to know somebody else who might be interested. Before she knew it, Clarke had a meeting set up for the following week, with a prominent gallery owner from one of the uppity neighborhoods across town, and he wanted to discuss a series. It was all happening very fast, but Clarke figured that’s what happens when talent gets discovered; one minute nobody, the next, somebody.

 

~~~

 

Furniture shopping wasn’t actually as boring as Raven had imagined. She and Abby took one tour around one store, before they decided on a rustic looking storage bed with a dresser, chest of drawers and nightstands to match. Raven liked the texture and Abby liked the amount of storage; it was a no brainer. When they got to signing for the financing, Raven wasn’t the least bit surprised to find out that Abby had nearly perfect credit. Despite living on her own since she was seventeen, Raven had decent credit, but that was only a recent shift, and that was mostly because Wick and Bellamy had cosigned on her loan for the shop. She had cosigned on theirs too, not that it had helped them much, but it just felt right. She’d simply wanted to make the same commitment to them as they had her. Signing papers with Abby felt different than it had with Wick and Bellamy though. With the boys, it felt like they were all signing together out of necessity, but Abby didn’t need her measly credit score to get a decent interest rate. In fact, Abby probably could have gotten a better rate without Raven’s signature. Still, Abby wanted them to do it together though, so Raven decided not to complain, figuring the boost in her credit rating would be nice anyway. Later, when they were watching the workmen bring all the new furniture in, Abby even brought it up, saying she was intentionally trying to help Raven get her credit rating up. She thought that when it was high enough, they could even try to refinance the shop loan for a better rate too. Of course, Raven hadn’t even thought of it that way, but when Abby said, “That’s what couples do, honey… They help each other,” she found she couldn’t agree more.

Abby had been helping her too, and with things other than making her credit rating better. Abby made sure she ate quality food at mealtimes and helped her feel at home in _their_ townhouse. It was still a little weird, moving out of her old place, but Raven’s things slowly made their way over to the townhouse anyway. She’d waited to start moving the big things until after the new furniture had been delivered, but still, it didn’t take long before the only things left at the old place were cleaning supplies. She was thinking about leaving those behind for Clarke and Octavia too; her _former_ roommates certainly could use it. Every day, when she stopped by after work to grab another load of her stuff, she’d peak around the apartment to see if they were home. All she found were rising mountains of dirty clothes in their rooms, and a growing pile of dishes in the sink. One night, she brought Wick and Bellamy and Lincoln along to help her move a couple big things, and while they worked, she finally just did the dishes herself. The pile had gotten so big that there weren’t even enough clean glasses to offer the boys some water when they were done. She didn’t mind helping out a little bit, knowing Clarke and Octavia were just busy with their lives, but she definitely drew the line at doing their laundry.

There were enough delightfully-domestic things for her to do at home with Abby anyway, like the laundry, or the grocery shopping and cooking. Although, maybe ‘delightful’ wasn’t really the best way to describe it. The first time they did laundry together, she and Abby bickered over it. Raven always did her laundry all together in cold water; it didn’t really matter because most of what she had was covered in grease stains anyway. Abby separated hers though; whites in hot water, colors and darks, in separate loads, in cold, and so on. Abby even had differently-colored baskets that she kept in the basement to make the separating easy. When Raven tried to argue, that doing it all together in cold was more efficient, Abby didn’t let her get very far before she said, “Well, if you’re worried about efficiency, then it’s _more_ efficient to do our laundry together… So, start separating…”

Doing the grocery shopping and cooking together was another point of contention. Raven never shopped with a list and that seemed to drive Abby crazy. Raven almost laughed when Abby said, “How do you shop without a list? I’d get home and not have half the things I needed…” It was like Abby couldn’t understand the idea of going to the grocery store more than once a week, much less every other day. That was how Raven had always done it; sometimes it was out of necessity, not having enough money to do a week’s worth of shopping at a time. Even when she had the money, she wasn’t always good at thinking ahead like that, and would just end up wasting food if she tried. Of course, Abby liked to have a plan, so Raven tried not to complain too much when Abby dragged her to the store the first time and said, “Here… you manage the list and the cart, and I’ll do all the running around. _It’s efficient._ ”

When they got all the groceries home, Raven wasn’t much help in the kitchen at first either. Abby liked to make everything from scratch, or at least, most things. Apparently, Abby drew the line at baking her own bread, but Raven was still a little amazed when Abby made her own cheese sauce for mac and cheese. When Raven wanted mac and cheese, she always bought the cheapest box version she could find; it didn’t matter if the cheese was powdered or not. The horrified look on Abby’s face, when Raven suggested they try the box version next time, was priceless, but then she actually tried Abby’s mac and cheese, and she couldn’t help but say, “Well, I guess there is a difference between ‘made with real cheese,’ and made with _real cheese_.” Abby laughed and smiled, and they chatted some more while they ate, and Raven realized it was nice to share a real meal with Abby, both of them enjoying something that they’d made together. After that, it didn’t take long before they fell into a rhythm in the kitchen too. Raven could follow instructions and was good with her hands, so most of the time, she stuck to chopping the vegetables, while Abby did the more complicated things like seasoning, and getting it all hot and on a plate at the same time.

Cleaning was where Raven excelled anyway. She always did things one step further than any other, regular person would, like the first time Raven cleaned the tub in their bathroom, she snaked the drain. She’d caught a glimpse of some of Abby’s hair in the bottom and couldn’t just leave it there. Eventually, it would get backed up, especially with both of them having long hair. She did the same thing to the tub in the second-floor bathroom the next day, figuring if it was the one Clarke had used while she was high school, that it was well over due to be cleaned like that too. The couple of days she spent alone, while Abby was at work and she wasn’t, she made use of her time cleaning out the part of the basement they would need to have clear to put in the stair lift. Most of it was Clarke’s old stuff that had been stored down there for safe-keeping, so Raven just shuffled those things from one side of the room to the other. She found all sorts of great blackmail material though, like Clarke’s eighth-grade yearbook. Apparently, little 13-year-old Clarke had bulky metal braces and a bad case of acne on picture day. Raven couldn’t resist snapping a picture of that little gem with her phone, for posterity.

With each passing day, Raven got them closer and closer to putting in that stair lift too. The day after she and Abby had first discussed it, she’d gotten in touch with one of her old engineering teachers from high school. It hadn’t taken much to rope him into helping her design it; she knew he’d always had a special place in his heart for her anyway. Mr. Sinclair, or just Sinclair since Raven wasn’t a student anymore, had been so excited to hear from her that he had immediately jumped at the chance to help. After only a couple of conversations on the phone with him, Raven felt like they had a solid plan for where to start, but there were still some big details to work out. They needed a contractor they could trust with a custom job, and they needed an electrical company to come in and run more power into the basement too. When Raven eventually mentioned those things to Abby though, Abby had just laughed and said that she’d already taken care of all that. Abby had even gone so far as to get the building permits that they would need, and she’d made an appointment with her bank to talk about financing too. It seemed like all their ducks were in a row, and if all went well with the bank, they would be calling the electrician to come start laying in the extra power they would need the following week.

Everything wasn’t smooth sailing all the time, though; there were tensions too. They were little things mostly, like when Raven insisted on helping with the after-dinner dishes, despite the fact that she felt bone tired after a long day on her back under a car. Abby always let her help, even if she complained that it wasn’t necessary. Raven just needed to feel useful though, and sometimes that meant pushing herself to stand at the sink and wash the dishes by hand instead of putting them in the dishwasher. Other times, it meant carrying the laundry down to the basement herself, even when Abby was right behind her on the steps. There were little things that Abby did that frustrated Raven too, like Abby’s strict work-out routine. Every day, Abby would get up at the crack of dawn, to go for a run or work out in the study, and that left Raven cold and alone in the bed when she woke up. Abby always came back and snuggled in with her afterwards, sweaty and sexy as hell in her little work out shorts and sports bra. If Raven was really being honest with herself, she didn’t mind too terribly much, especially when she got the chance to follow sexy, sweaty Abby into the shower to start each day.

The one big thing that Raven did that she knew really got to Abby was not being careful enough when at work. It seemed like she came home every day with some new bump or bruise or cut. Every time Abby cleaned a new cut or rubbed ointment into a bruise, Abby joked that it was a good thing she was a doctor, but Raven could tell it hurt Abby to see her harmed in any way. After one particularly nasty accident, one where Raven had nearly lost a finger, Abby, almost in tears herself, asked her to be more careful at work, and she actually started to make a conscious effort to slow down a little bit. She knew that every time she hurt herself, it was because she was in a rush. She’d be struggling to get something done quickly and her hand would slip, or she’d trip over something and end up with new bruise for her trouble. She found that slowing down at work didn’t really slow down her productivity though; if anything, it was making her more efficient. After a few days of the new pace, she was so ahead at work that she managed to finally get some more time to put in some work on the door latch of her own truck. After a little, not-so-gentle coaxing, a lot of grease, and a new ball bearing or two, she got it working like new. Well, like old-new anyway, which meant that the door hinges still screeched like demons from hell when she opened it, but at least, she could lock the damned thing.

 

~~~

 

Every time Octavia entered the cage, Anya felt her world narrow, too focused on Octavia to process much else. She couldn’t help it; Octavia was a force to be reckoned with, all fluid movements and sharp strikes. She remembered that ‘slide, slide, jab, hook’ combination quite well too. She’d been in that cage with Octavia every night for a week. She’d experience that ‘jab, hook’ more than once too. Octavia always pulled her punches, never actually hitting Anya hard enough to do any damage, but Anya knew there was plenty of power behind each punch. She could feel it every time Octavia knocked the wind out of her. To her pride, Anya managed to get the upper hand a few times over the course of the week, but her victories were always short lived. Octavia would have her flat on her back shortly thereafter anyway. Not that she minded, having Octavia straddling her hips wasn’t exactly a bad thing, especially with the way Octavia easily manipulated her arms into an arm bar or pressed against her trying to get her into a choke hold. Anya wasn’t sure whether she was proud or horny or worried or what, but she did know that Ontari was going to have to be at the top of her game to beat Octavia in that invitational.

Being in the ring with Octavia was very different from watching her though; watching was a special kind of torture. She was already worried that Octavia would get hurt somehow, either in or out of the cage, but when all she could do was watch from the sidelines, it was worse. She didn’t hold herself back in the ring because she knew that Octavia needed her to be her best, but she didn’t know what Lincoln thought he was doing. She’d seen him throw around enough drunk idiots to know that he knew what he was doing in a fight, but Octavia was literally running circles around him. She thought maybe he was just taking it easy on Octavia, trying not to hurt her too, but the whole point of having him spar with her was to give Octavia a challenge. It didn’t really surprise her when Octavia called a stop after only the second round, but the reason why Octavia wanted to stop worried her. Anya knew Octavia had to be tired; she was training eight hours a day, and going to class, and trying to find time to eat and sleep. Octavia was even making time for them too, but that just made Anya feel like she was being selfish, spending hours enjoying Octavia’s body when Octavia could be getting sleep instead.

Octavia hadn’t complained before though, if anything Octavia seemed to very much enjoy their time together, but Anya had definitely toned things down too; well, as much as she could anyway. She always tried to focus on making Octavia feel good, but she was also worried she’d slap Octavia’s ass too hard and jolt her, making her pull a muscle or something. Now, Octavia was saying that she was tired, and Anya realized that the multiple orgasms she was giving Octavia every night wasn’t helping with that either. She tried to take a step back that night, encouraging Octavia to spend the night in her own bed, to get the rest she obviously needed, but that didn’t work out so well though. Octavia texted her at four am, saying that she couldn’t sleep, and the worst part was that Anya was still awake to see it. Even after hours of trying, she hadn’t been able to fall asleep without Octavia by her side. The next night Anya made sure they didn’t make that mistake again, but it seemed that damage was done; Octavia was so tense that night it took Anya almost thirty minutes to get Octavia to relax enough to come the first time. Still, Anya persevered, holding Octavia tight to her chest, tenderly driving her over the edge again and again, until Octavia was finally tired enough to just pass out.

When they woke the next morning, Anya could feel that tension building inside Octavia all over again. She wasn’t sure what she could do to relieve it at that point, but she knew she needed to do something to try to help Octavia; that tension would cripple her against Ontari, but only if she let it. Not knowing who else to ask, Anya ended up asking Tris if she had any advice about the situation. It turned out Tris had several suggestions actually, but the idea that stuck out to Anya was a grand romantic gesture; something that would make it impossible for Octavia to think about anything else. They eventually decided on flowers and a gag gift, thinking that the flowers would show how much Anya cared, and if nothing else, the gag would make Octavia laugh. She knew it would be best if they had the place to themselves too; she just needed to find time to speak to Echo about that beforehand. So, one night after she and Octavia were finished sparring, she slipped out of the locker room while Octavia was in the shower, hoping to catch Echo before she left. She hadn’t even bothered to change out of her sparring gear, knowing that she would end up joining Octavia in the shower when she was done talking with Echo anyway.

When she rounded the corner into gym’s reception area though, she definitely hadn’t expected to find Echo already talking to someone else. As far as Anya knew, they were the only three left in the building, but as Anya crossed further into the room, she realized the man still had his jacket on; he must have just arrived. With his proximity to Echo, he seemed to be pretty familiar to her too, as there was maybe only a foot between. Anya couldn’t hear what they were saying, both talking in voices low enough that she couldn’t make out anything other than the sound of their whispers. Not really wanting to interrupt, but also knowing that this may be her only chance to talk to Echo without Octavia around, Anya cleared her throat a little as she approached them.

Echo spotted her first, glancing over the man’s shoulder and smiling at her, but when the man turned to see who Echo was smiling at, the first person that Anya thought of when she saw his face, was Octavia. The family resemblance was clear as day, that hair, that jaw and chin; the man had to be Octavia’s older brother, Bellamy. She smiled herself as she took another step towards them, hoping that she didn’t stink too bad as she said, “Hey, you must be Bellamy, Octavia’s brother?”

There was just the briefest moment of uncertainty before the man finally nodded and stuck out his hand, saying, “Yeah, I’m Bellamy. Who are you?”

Feeling herself fill with a strange sense of pride, Anya gratefully accepted his hand as she said, “I’m Anya Woods, Octavia’s girlfriend.” She almost said more, like that it was a pleasure to meet him and all that other polite stuff, but when she saw his eyes narrow at her choice of words, she buttoned up her lips pretty quick. She wasn’t sure if it was a pleasure to meet him after all.

A moment of unbelievable awkwardness followed; Bellamy didn’t let go of her hand and Anya didn’t let go of his either. She wasn’t going to give up whatever advantage she might have, just in case he was planning on challenging her. Not that she was planning on fighting with Octavia’s brother, but if he pushed first, she had no reservations about putting him right in his place. Her feelings, her pesky, pesky feelings, were growing deeper with every day she got to spend with Octavia, and while she wasn’t ready to yell it from the mountain tops, she sure as hell wasn’t going to let Bellamy’s overprotective sibling act scare her off either. The longer they stood there, the more she thought those feelings were going to boil over. Her instincts were telling her to strike first, but her head was telling her what a terrible idea that was, like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. Thankfully, Echo finally broke the ice for both of them, saying, “Anya’s been helping out with Octavia’s training. I’m actually thinking about trying to hire her to fill Tristan’s spot, if I can convince her to quit her day job….”

That turned Anya’s attention quickly away from Bellamy and she suddenly ended their standoff, finally letting go of his hand. She forced herself to turn towards Echo too, as she said, “With the way things are going with my boss, you might not need to do a lot of convincing. She’s just… brutal, you know? I mean, it makes sense… She’s a former Army Major, but it’s a lot. Sometimes, I’m glad I joined the Guard instead of the Army. I’m not sure how I would have handled her attitude in an active combat situation.” As she spoke, Anya saw the shift out of the corner of her eye; something about Bellamy’s body language changed, and he suddenly wasn’t as stiff anymore. That air of arrogance that had surrounded him dissipated too, and she realized she had said the exact right things. She knew he was ex-military, ex-Army specifically, and while she’d hadn’t meant to ingratiate herself to him, his more relaxed stance obviously meant she’d done just that anyway. The National Guard wasn’t quite the same as active duty, but the fact that Guard members could be called back to service as reservist, up to fifteen years after their initial date of service, was an intense commitment; one that was respected and honored among the other branches of the military. Bellamy’s own service was a reason to respect him as well, so instead of allowing any more tension to build between them, she tried to bridge whatever gap that remained by adding, “I guess you’d know all about that, though. Octavia told me you served… Two tours with the Army, right?”

It seemed Anya was one a roll, because Bellamy relaxed even a little more as he replied, “Yeah, but the first one was a humanitarian posting. The closest thing I saw to combat those first two years was a fist fight between two guys in my unit. Our CO ended up whipping those two guys into shape though. Come to think of it, that night was probably the only reason why Murdoch and Pierce survived our second tour. Being in an active combat zone for almost eighteen months cracked a lot of good guys.”

His tone was just so that Anya wondered if he was one of those ‘good guys’ who had ‘cracked.’ Other than their brief moment of tension in the beginning though, Bellamy seemed like any other single, white, alpha male that she had met; a little too sure of himself, a little superior, but the glimpse of the man behind the stereotype was a touching one. When Echo’s throat cleared beside her, she barely had time to process the shift before Echo butted in, saying frankly, “Well, that’s depressing.”

The causal tone shocked Anya at first, but when she saw Bellamy’s lips curl up around the edges, she understood. It seemed there was a lot more going on between Echo and Bellamy than what appeared on the surface. She could see it in the little blush on Bellamy’s cheeks, and in Echo’s wide smile. All of the sudden, Anya felt like she was in the middle of something intimate and private, something certainly not meant for her eyes. The moment passed almost as quickly as it came though, as Octavia burst into the reception area, half-shouting, “Anya, why didn’t you come shower with me? I thought you were gonna—”

All three heads turned towards the doorway at once, and Anya couldn’t control her own blush as she finished that sentence in her head. She was sure Octavia would have said something along the lines of, ‘—push me up against the shower wall again.’ Honestly, before running in to Bellamy, that hadn’t been far from the truth, as she remembered the things she had whispered in Octavia’s ear when they’d been practicing holds and submissions. The thing that stuck out in her mind, the thing that had drawn the best reaction from Octavia, was when she’d said that she was ‘gonna make Octavia come so hard she forgot how to breath,’ and then when Octavia finally remembered how to again, she was ‘gonna to _do it_ to her again.’ She was suddenly very grateful Octavia had realized they weren’t alone, hadn’t finished whatever truly embarrassing thing she was going to say, especially with Bellamy standing there. Still, they were all just standing there staring at each other, and Anya knew she had to try to steer the conversation somehow, so she quickly blurted out, “Yeah, I was gonna shower, but then I heard voices. Decided to check it out, you know?”

It was a perfectly reasonable thing to say, if she’d hadn’t declared it so awkwardly, but Octavia seemed to buy it anyway, quickly replying, “Well, all right then, now you know. Are we going home soon, or...”

“Yeah, just a minute,” Anya replied just as quickly, catching the obvious way Bellamy’s eyes widened at Octavia’s use of the word ‘home.’ She decided not to comment on it and tried to think of a way take Bellamy’s mind off it instead. To Anya, there was no better way to do that than to touch back on something earlier in their conversation, so she glanced over at Echo and said, “If you’re serious about what you said earlier, I think I’d like to talk it over.” Echo nodded, smiling, so Anya quickly added, “How about tomorrow around lunch time? I’ll bring Chinese?”

Echo’s enthusiastic, “Sounds good,” was diminished in Anya’s mind a little, as Octavia settled in against her side. She could feel the heat of Octavia’s skin, even with Octavia’s post workout hoodie between them. Suddenly needing to feel their connection for herself, she let left her hand slip up the back of that hoodie as she shook Echo’s hand and then Bellamy’s with her other. She and Octavia made their way towards the locker room then, Echo and Bellamy heading out the front door as well, but even with Octavia walking beside her, Anya caught the soft look Octavia was shooting her. She didn’t let it slow her down though, only pausing in door way long enough to whisper into Octavia’s ear, “Don’t worry… I haven’t forgotten my promises. By the time I’m finished with you tonight, you’ll be lucky if you don’t black out, again.” Pleased with the shiver she felt pass over Octavia’s skin, she sauntered the rest of the way into the locker room then, and quickly began preparing herself for a long night. Despite Octavia’s need for rest, Anya didn’t think she’d be able to stop herself from loving Octavia all night long. With the way Octavia was watching her form the doorway, she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to stop.

 

~~~

 

Having a ‘normal’ routine, usually meant some implied sense of normalcy, but Lexa found that her ‘normal’ routine was anything but ordinary anymore. Up until her fate-filled return to Polaris, Lexa’s days had mostly been filled with just trying to hold herself together, making music or writing on her blog, or even napping when she was really on the edge. With Clarke in her life, she could barely remember what her ‘normal’ routine used to entail. She was sure she had gotten up and gone about her days, showering and eating breakfast and doing laundry, but now, when she got up and made breakfast, she automatically made it for two instead of one. When she found clothes in the laundry that weren’t hers, she wasn’t awkward about it, she would just smile and then throw that random pair of underwear, or tank top or whatever, right into the wash with the rest of her clothes. She’d leave those clothes folded on the top of her dresser though. She didn’t want to push her luck by being presumptuous, and actually put them in one of her drawers, but there was a part of her that felt like they belonged there. Leaving them on top was just a step towards their eventual domesticity anyway. She hoped Clarke would have a drawer in her apartment sooner or later, and maybe even more than that if she was really being honest with herself. Someday, Clarke would need her own dresser or chest of drawers, and Lexa wouldn’t ever have to sleep alone again; she wouldn’t have to be alone at all, unless she wanted to be.

Not that she did, want to be alone, that is. Going to sleep with Clarke every night was like finally finding rest after a long, arduous journey. Having Clarke in her bed every morning was like waking up to the sun every day, even if there were clouds in the sky outside. Still, no matter how hard Lexa tried, she couldn’t deny that things weren’t perfect. There was something that was bothering her, and it had been for days. She had tried to hide it, of course, but when she caught Clarke watching her scamper off to the bathroom to shower one morning, she knew she’d been caught. Despite how easily they had settled into each other, Lexa was still nervous about how Clarke would react to her ‘current state,’ as in her not heat-driven state. Clarke had tried to get into her pants every night, but Lexa just couldn’t bring herself to open up Clarke’s wandering hands. Every time, Lexa couldn’t help thinking about that look of disappointment she would find in Clarke’s eyes, just like the she’d seen in Costia. Clarke hadn’t pushed her to talk about it, at least not yet anyway, but that morning Clarke caught her, hiding in plain sight, Lexa felt her stomach sink. She knew there would be questions soon, and she wasn’t sure she had any answers. Her only little glimmer of hope came when she came back from the shower that morning and noticed the hunger in Clarke’s eyes as she sauntered in the bedroom in her robe. It was a look she was all too familiar with; she had seen it more times than she could count during Clarke’s heat. That look made her doubt herself though, wondering what Clarke was seeing when she looked at her. Was she thinking about Lexa driving into her, deeper and deeper, filling her over and over again? Was Clarke thinking about straddling her hips and taking what she wanted instead? Of course, Lexa knew the only way to get answers to those questions was to ask them, but she just didn’t think she could handle it if Clarke said yes.

Sex wasn’t always on her mind though; when she was at Polaris, she managed to split her attention pretty well. Despite Clarke’s near-constant proximity in the DJ booth, and the memories of the things they had done and said in that booth, Lexa found it easy to slip back into the swing of things at the decks, switching and dropping and spinning like she’d been born to do it. Things seemed to be going well all around at Polaris, at least at first. Attendance was up, and the bar was making more money too, but having more people around and more money spent at the bar meant more drama. It meant more drunk idiots doing stupid, drunk things; like the two guys who thought that swimming in the patio fountain would be fun or the girl who tripped up the stairs trying to get into the back building and broke her ankle. They even had a few people decided that their friend was a good candidate for a punching bag. A few nights, there were so many people around that Lexa worried about what would happen if an actual fight did break out. They had bouncers, and Ryder and Lincoln were good at their jobs, but it wasn’t hard to imagine a fight getting out of hand in the crowded club, especially considering they’d only been about fifty short of capacity her first Saturday night back. The crowd swelled even more her second weekend back; so many people trying to get in that at one point they’d actually had a line to get in the door. Of course, Ryder and Lincoln had noticed how thin they were stretched and had complained to her about it, but neither of them had mentioned it to Titus. She’d taken it on herself to try to convince Titus to hire Nathan Miller on full time, knowing that having a third person on would everyone’s jobs easier. He was the weeknight bouncer, only working Tuesday through Thursday, but when she’d spoken to him about it, he seemed thrilled at the prospect of more money. Titus wasn’t as thrilled, but at least he saw the logic behind having Miller there on the weekends and brought him in the next Friday night for a trial run. Titus hadn’t hired on any new bartenders, but Lexa knew he was at least thinking about it. Every time he asked her to call Anya and see if she would come in and help out, he looked worried when Anya had said she wasn’t available. Lexa knew why Anya wasn’t ‘available,’ a certain brunette had her pretty wrapped up most of the time, but she also wasn’t about to try to discourage their involvement in any way. She was quite happy for her cousin, even if they didn’t talk nearly as much as they used to; after all, Anya deserved to be happy too.

Knowing that Polaris was still struggling though, Lexa tried to come up with ways to get people to spend more money at the club. She had a bunch of ideas, but when Octavia’s fight night finally came around, she thought it was a fantastic opportunity to implement some of those plans. Too bad Titus didn’t see it that way, claiming that Lexa was just abandoning him again, that she wouldn’t come back if she took time off again. She knew that wasn’t true; it was one night, not a year. Besides, she felt like Polaris was where she belonged again. The new system Titus had gotten for the club helped with that too, especially after she’d had some time to move stuff around and get everything set up like she liked it. There was a fear in Titus’ eyes that night though, like she’d said she wanted the club to be closed in her absence. She knew there was no way her theme night idea would fail though. Everybody loved a gimmick, as long as it didn’t become too commonplace. One or two theme nights a month wouldn’t break Polaris, if anything, it would probably draw new people to the club.

There were already new faces in the crowd, even without the theme night. No one really stood out, but that was probably because Lexa didn’t have eyes for anyone except for the woman sitting behind her. Clarke was always doodling and sketching, or dancing and humming along to the music, trying to distract Lexa, but after three nights in a row, there was one new face that finally caught her attention. The first time she saw him, it was only in passing, as she made her way to the bathroom on a break. He seemed a little out of place, but with all the new people around, he didn’t really stand out because of his awkwardness. The next night she saw him in passing again, as he circled the dance floor, looking like he was trying to work up the courage to join in. She actually saw him slip onto the floor maybe a half an hour later, but he only danced for a minute or so before he made a bee-line for the exit. She didn’t think about it much after he left, figuring he just nervous and bolted, but when she saw him the next night, he definitely didn’t seem nervous anymore.

Something in his expression made him totally unreadable, but his body language spoke volumes. He was standing stock still in the middle of the dance floor; people swirling and twirling all around him, but he didn’t move a muscle. He seemed like a walking contradiction in other ways too, with his short-cropped hair and a rough-necked beard. His clothes set him apart as well, a blue polo shirt and jeans almost lost in a sea of black and neon. A moment later, it seemed like their eyes were going to meet, and Lexa had to look away, suddenly feeling uncomfortable about the way he was staring into the space between them. She tried to focus on work for a few minutes, searching the decks for her place in the song, and then lining up the next track, but when she finally glanced back to where the mystery man had been, he was gone. Maybe ten minutes later, Clarke came up behind her, asking if she wanted to take her break yet, and Lexa was glad for the distraction, going about the rest of her evening without giving him a second thought.

When she saw him in Grounder’s one day the following week though, she couldn’t help but check him out while she waited for her coffee. Seeing some random guy that she’d seen at Polaris shouldn’t have bothered her, but there was something about him that just irked her. He was just sitting there reading a book, but she didn’t miss the way he seemed to focus even more intently on that book every time she glanced his way. It made her sort of uncomfortable, almost uneasy, like he was the one trying to watch her without her noticing. She was relieved when Roan finally handed over her coffee, so she could just get out of there. When she didn’t see him the next day, she stopped to ask Roan about the mystery man, but Roan didn’t remember much about him. He’d paid in cash but hadn’t left a tip, and he’d stayed at the corner table for about two hours before he left. Roan said he thought the guy was just new in town and was checking the place out. Hearing some of her own observations reflected back at her, Lexa quickly decided she was probably just being paranoid or whatever, and tried to put him out of her mind, at least for the moment. 

 

~~~

 

Work was… well, _work_. Day after day, Abby consulted and operated and followed-up on patient after patient. The one exception to her routine was her new lunch partner. She’d gotten used to eating with Anya, but Anya was still on split shifts, so their lunch breaks weren’t lining up anymore. Without her friend as a distraction, Abby found herself feeling isolated, eating alone surrounded by the constant din of the cafeteria. She tired eating in her office a couple days, but that was even worse, because she couldn’t resist the urge to read or research while she ate. That meant she ate in a hurry, not really paying attention to what she was putting in her mouth as she poured over an article or her emails. She was done eating in ten minutes or less each time, leaving her with over forty-five before her next surgery. She thought about changing her schedule to shorten her breaks but having a lunch break was a luxury Abby hadn’t always had. She’d lived off of the vending machines as an intern, and she hadn’t done much better when she was thirty-six hour shifts during her residency either. The fact was, Abby had worked very hard to get to a point in her career where she could sit down and eat in the middle of the day and she wasn’t going to squander that by working through her lunch. She sure as hell wasn’t going to voluntarily give up that time either.

Eventually, she went back to eat in the cafe, because despite that ‘lost in the crowd’ feeling, at least there were always people she could watch to occupy herself. One day, she found herself smiling as she watched a family of five try to maneuver the line and then all get settled in at the same table together. She was so focused on them that she didn’t even notice when Harper McIntyre sat down next to her. Honestly, the family was so all over the place that Abby didn’t notice until she finally heard Harper whisper, “oh… looks like we’ve got a runner,” under her breath. Abby glanced over at Harper then, a little shocked by her nurse’s sudden proximity, but when she realized that Harper was watching the same family she had been, she couldn’t help smiling again. Looking back at the family, she outright laughed when the youngest child actually ‘made a run for it,’ toddling towards them with open arms. The oldest child, a girl of about seven or eight, came running after the babe, and Abby laughed harder as he squirmed against his sister’s hold, still trying to greet them, even if he couldn’t talk.

They fell into a sort of routine after that; Abby was almost always the first to the cafeteria, but Harper would join her a few minutes later, after getting her own food. They’d didn’t always people watch though, sometimes chatting back and forth in between bites instead. Abby learned all sorts of things about Harper then. She’d had a good, old-fashioned, farmhouse upbringing in the mid-west. She’d gotten good grades in high school and had performed well in college too, even though she’d had to do the first two years of her undergraduate degree at a two-year community college. She had an on-again, off-again boyfriend, who was sweet, but sort of flighty. Apparently, he had an on-again, off-again boyfriend as well. That was slightly alarming, but when it turned out that Harper’s boyfriend’s boyfriend also had another pseudo-girlfriend, Abby felt even more concerned. She knew better than to judge anyone for their choices; she had plenty of experience with people judging her for her unconventional relationships, but she was definitely worried about Harper’s health. If they were all sexually involved, there were a lot of things that could get around in a complicated relationship like that. Eventually, Harper admitted she wasn’t actually sleeping with any of them though, and Abby couldn’t help feeling relieved.

Her budding friendship with Harper was also how Abby found out about an impending performance review. Not the annual one that she dreaded every year, not the one that everyone in the hospital had to go through, but a special one set-up just for her. Harper had hurried to the lunch table that day, and Abby had immediately focused on Harper’s nervousness as she’d said, “SO… I think something big is going on.” Thankfully, Abby didn’t have to ask her to elaborate; Harper spilled it all on her own, quickly telling her about a strange man that she’d seen walking and talking with Chief Jaha. Harper had overheard some of what they’d been saying too, and when she relayed it all to Abby, Abby knew Harper was right; something big was going on. Apparently, the man was demanding that Abby undergo a thorough performance review and that the results be made public, no matter the outcome. There was only one explanation for why someone who didn’t work at the hospital would be asking for something like that; that someone was probably trying to sue her. It didn’t take much to figure out who either. Senator Wallace’s death was both unexpected and untimely, creating a perfect storm for scrutiny.

The hospital assumed liability in the case of malpractice, but in the event of a patient’s death, Abby could be sued, civilly at least. The family of the deceased could take her to court for wrongful death or negligence; the charge depending on the grounds for the lawsuit, i.e. how much compensation they were seeking in damages. She’d only had to deal with a few cases like that in her career, but every single one of them had become an ugly and tactless bid for money before they had ended. At least so far, they had all ended in her favor, but they were still costly as well as time consuming. Money and time were two things she didn’t have a lot of these days either, what with the impending upgrades to the townhouse and all the new furniture. Not to mention the fact that she had a new mate to get to know.

Whether the performance review had anything to do with Senator Wallace’s death or not, that same afternoon, she made sure to take a little time in between surgeries to call her own lawyer and put him on retainer. Just having Vincent Vie as her counsel made her feel a lot better about the whole situation too. He was a fair man, with a reputation for only representing clients he knew where on the up-and-up, and as far as Abby knew, she had nothing to do with the Senator’s death. Well, she had been the one leading the surgery that had killed him, so she had been involved, but she had been over and over the charts, both her own and those of her co-workers. Nothing in any of them pointed to her direct involvement, whether it be from negligence or otherwise. She still worried about it; she couldn’t not, but when the performance review came and went, with nothing but exemplary marks, she relaxed a little. Then, not two days later, Vincent called her to discuss the autopsy report and she nearly cried when he explained that it clearly stated that the cause of death was a hemorrhagic stroke, likely caused by an adverse reaction to the anesthesia. She hated that she felt relieved by that kind of news, because she had been involved in a good man’s death, but with everything else going on in her life, she had to admit, it was nice to have one less thing to worry about.

It seemed she had more than enough to worry about at home anyway. Most of the time they were little things, like when Raven came home with a new bump or scrape from work. Secretly, Abby relished in getting to treat Raven’s little wounds, washing out and cleaning the cuts before wrapping them up, sharing kisses and talking about their days. She loved getting to lay Raven out on the bed so she could rub some sore muscle or other too. It always made her feel good to watch Raven’s tense muscles relax under her touch. Still, she worried about other little things as well, like when Raven pushed herself to do the dishes or drag the laundry down into the basement, even though Abby knew she was exhausted after a long day at work. Abby hated to admit that Raven’s efforts filled her with pride too. She couldn’t help smiling every time Raven came back up from the basement, a basket full of clean laundry under one arm, her other raised high in the air as she triumphantly exclaimed, “I Have Conquered Laundry Mountain!”

Even with all those little things going on, Abby still worried about the bigger, more empirical things too, like whether she would ever be enough for Raven or not. Those worries stemmed from the daily challenge of just trying to keep up with Raven in the bedroom. Abby would have never considered herself adventurous when it came to sex, but as she learned more about what Raven liked and didn’t like, she found she was pushing her own boundaries in the process. Raven’s ‘didn’t like’ column was much, much shorter than her ‘like’ column, so that was good at least, but it wasn’t until they were lying in bed one night, naked and sweaty and sated, that Abby figured out what it was that Raven really liked. She’d had to ask, of course, because Raven could be mysterious and elusive sometimes, especially if Abby didn’t ask direct questions, so that night she finally just said, “Jeez… Is there anything that doesn’t check your boxes?”

The laugh Raven released at that was so beautiful and filled with joy that Abby felt lighter just at the sound, but then Raven said, “ _You_ check my boxes, Abs, all of them… Just you…” Abby felt like she might just float away then, she was so filled with joy herself. It wasn’t hard to stop worrying about being enough for Raven after that; she decided to try to just get enough of her instead.


	32. The Invitational

Five long years, Octavia had hoped this day would come. From that very first boxing class, she’d wanted to be a professional fighter, and in just a few hours, she’d finally make that a reality. She just had to keep herself together until then. The moment she woke up, she felt cagey, antsy and full of adrenaline. By the time breakfast was over, she was beside herself, worrying that she wasn’t ready. She was probably going to humiliate herself by losing in the first thirty seconds, or worse, she was going to get hurt because she made some rookie mistake. She knew better than that though, and she wasn’t going to quit either, not with Anya reassuring her every step of the way; cleaning up after their shared breakfast and then getting them both ready to head to the arena. On the way there, Anya drove her car; Octavia wasn’t sure it was a good idea for her to get behind the wheel anyway. Her antsy, cagey feelings were back, and she knew if she drove, she’d probably end up getting a speeding ticket, just trying to get there already. Anya held her hand as she sat in the passenger’s seat, obviously trying to keep her calm, and Octavia tried to let her too.

It wasn’t a long drive, maybe forty-five minutes, but by the end of it, Octavia wasn’t worried anymore. She wasn’t _anything_ anymore; a quiet resolve had settled over her in the car, and she actually felt like she was ready for whatever that was going to happen. That is, until she realized they were a full two and a half hours early for her fight. One hour would have been more than enough time to get her checked in, and weighed in, and she dreaded the idea of having to sit around her locker room and wait. She wasn’t sure how long her resolve would last, but she knew it wouldn’t be that long. Still, hanging out in her locker room was a better idea than hanging out in her car, so she and Anya quickly made their way inside and got her checked in with the officials. They assigned her a liaison, a short, grumbly sort of man who missing a few of his front teeth. Octavia figured he was probably a boxer; he had that sort of look, but before she could even think about asking, he grumbled, “Come on, then,” and began to walk away. Octavia hustled to keep up, with Anya right behind her, but after two short hallways, the boxer stopped and ushered them into a large meeting room.

It wasn’t packed full of people, but there were a few photographers scattered around, and a few other fighters here and there too. No one that Octavia recognized immediately, but after a little glancing around, she spotted Echo and Bellamy standing off to one side of the room. When she approached, it was obvious they’d been waiting for her, as they both turned to greet her with relieved smiles on their faces. Of course, they both wished her luck, Bellamy even going so far as to say he was proud of her. That turned the whole scene a little misty, and Octavia had to excuse herself before she ended up getting teary-eyed. She decided to just go ahead and get weighed in instead, figuring if she got it out of the way that would one less thing to think about. It was a pretty standard weigh in process; the official asked her to step up on the scale and she did. There were some pictures taken, both of her with the official and the official with the scale’s reading, and then that was it; she was officially ready to compete as a flyweight in The Mount Weather Invitational.

Once that was all finished, she glanced around for Echo and Bellamy again, but instead she would her boxer-liaison waiting expectantly by the door for her. She made her way over to him with a resigned sigh, feeling only marginally when Anya fell into step behind her. It seemed that Anya wasn’t planning on leaving her side and for that, Octavia was beyond grateful. With so much time to kill she’d need some kind of distraction. Her liaison left her at the door of her locker room a few minutes later, grumbling, “I’ll be back to get you later,” before turning and walking away. She watched him go, but when she glanced past him, she realized she could actually see in the inside of the arena from her locker room. That made sense though; her fight with Ontari was technically the main event for the evening, but that confirmation only seemed to make Octavia’s dread come back stronger than before.

Even though the schedule said she should be starting her fight in about an hour and a half, if every fight before hers went to the regulation limit, she could be waiting quite a while before her match actually began. Luckily for her, Anya was there and more than willing to distract her. When Anya started to undress her, Octavia didn’t have much headspace to really think about what she was doing, but when Anya hoisted her up to lay her out back down on the bench that ran down the middle of the room, Octavia felt herself clenching and dripping already. It wasn’t long before her thighs were draped over Anya’s shoulders and Anya’s face was buried between her thighs. The walls of the locker room weren’t particularly thick, and Octavia could hear people moving about in the hallway, just on the other side of the door. She was sure people could hear them too, but when Anya’s hands gripped her hips and pulled her even closer, Octavia couldn’t care less what anyone else thought.

Two earth-rocking orgasms later, Anya carried her to the shower and then took her there too. The warmth of the water combined with the heat of Anya’s fingers pushing inside her, and it wasn’t long before she was coming all over again. The endorphins did as much to sooth her nerves as they did to enflame them though, and when they finished in the shower and made their way back into the locker room, Octavia still felt like her insides were tingling. Anya was still there to help her though, pulling out the outfit her sponsors had given her to wear. They weren’t anything fancy, just black trunks and a red and black sports bra. They had the company’s logo and name written on the waist band and chest band, but that was the extent of their advertisement on her body. Still, it made Octavia feel proud to even be putting them on. These were the people who put faith in her, to go out there and represent their brand, and she was going to do her best to make them proud too.

Apparently, there was a ringside jumpsuit that matched the bra and trunks, with the company name on the back of the hoodie-style top. Even though it wasn’t quite time to head towards the cage, Octavia sat dutifully on the bench as Anya slipped the break-away pants up her legs. Anya put her hair up next, sweeping it all into a tight high ponytail, that she then braided to keep contained. Feeling Anya’s hands teasing her scalp and sifting through her hair lulled her into a sort of trance-like state and Octavia barely noticed when Anya moved back around in front of her to wrap her wrists. Anya kissed each one when she was done, and that brought Octavia swooning back to reality. She smiled at how reverent and tender and sweet Anya was being, but their tender moment was interrupted though, a harsh knock on the door finally bringing Octavia out of her Anya-induced daze.

Her liaison was back, and suddenly, Octavia was out of her mind all over again. She was breathing heavy and her heart was racing, and it was all she could do to put one foot in front of the other as she followed him out of the locker room. She could barely breathe though, as they wound their way through the crowd towards the cage in the center of the arena. She knew she needed to find her focus, but every time she tired, a camera went off in her face or some stranger shouted in her ear. By the time she got to the cage door, she was sure she was hyperventilating. Still, Anya was right there with her, pulling her in close and whisper-yelling over the crowd noise, “Breathe, Little O, breathe.” Octavia tried to do as she was told and found that each breath was a little easier, as long as she stared into Anya’s eyes while she took it. Anya’s lips were moving again though, and she focused just in time for Anya to add, “It doesn’t matter who you’re fighting or where or why. All that matters, is you being you and doing your best.” She wanted to believe Anya was right; she really wanted to, but she couldn’t help asking herself, if her best was good enough. She didn’t have time to think about that though. Ontari was on her way into the arena; Octavia could tell by the rising roar of the crowd. She spotted Ontari’s scowling face through the cacophony, but after that, she was shuffled into the cage and everything beyond its borders became a blur.

A moment later, the announcer’s voice rang in her head and she was still so overwhelmed that she barely registered the obligatory fist bump she shared with Ontari before the bout began. The second the opening bell rang though, something clicked. Everything became laser focused, crystal clear. Octavia circled and Ontari circled back, obviously sizing her up, and it wasn’t long before the alpha lashed out. Octavia countered, but only barely. They danced for a few seconds after that, and Octavia felt like she was floating, but Ontari sure could sting. One particularly brutal shot to the torso almost made her double over, and Ontari quickly poised to push the advantage. Despite the pain in her ribs, Octavia focused on the hands on the back of her head. Ontari was trying to throw her off balance enough to force her to the ground. She pushed back though, struggling against Ontari’s grip, trying to get free. The alpha jerked down abruptly, bringing her knee up at the same time, like she was about to plant her knee right into Octavia’s face.

For just a moment, Octavia was amazed that Ontari would blatantly break the rules like that; knees and elbows to the face were prohibited, but then she felt a significant amount of Ontari’s weight press down on her shoulders instead. It was a feint, an elaborate one, a distracting one, but Octavia instantly recognized what Ontari was doing. She’d seen it on the tapes a dozen times; Ontari was trying for a scissor takedown, maneuvering Octavia like a puppet, pulling her off balance so Ontari could wrap both legs around her waist and pull her to the ground with all her body weight. Octavia wasn’t about to let that happen though. The match would be over in a matter of moments if Ontari managed to get ahold of her arm unprotected after that. When Ontari’s weight shifted again, Octavia knew she had to act not react. She powered forward suddenly, driving Ontari off balance instead, and ended up knocking her opponent prone onto her back.

Ontari’s knee was still bent when she hit the ground, and in her haste, Octavia banged her inner thigh against it as she slipped down over top of Ontari. She settled into the mount position over Ontari’s hips easy enough though, tucking her body in close as she winced at the pain in her thigh. The alpha snarled below her, thrashing and flailing, obviously trying to throw Octavia off, but Octavia just took control of the chaos. It wasn’t hard to use Ontari’s momentum against her, and after maybe ten seconds, Octavia got Ontari rolled over onto her stomach. Octavia tucked herself in even closer to Ontari’s back then, knowing a floundering elbow could really do some damage in this position. As she settled her weight lower, Ontari roared beneath her, arching slightly into the increased pressure on her abdomen. Octavia didn’t hesitate then, immediately slipping her arm into the gap that formed between Ontari’s chin and chest. Elbow secured around Ontari’s throat with her other hand, Octavia leaned back, and shifted her knees apart, dropping even more of her weight onto Ontari’s midsection. She couldn’t really believe it was happening until it was actually happening, but then she felt Ontari tap frantically against her forearm. The referee was pulling her off the alpha not even a full second later.

If before the bout was blur, after was nearly incomprehensible. The referee raised her hand, and the crowd cheered, and the announcer’s voice boomed in her ears, but all Octavia could focus on was the scowl on Ontari’s face. It was a look that clearly said that this wasn’t over, but still, she could only focus on it for a second before the flashing lights and the shaking hands drew her attention away again. She could feel Anya in the periphery, skirting around the edge of the crowd trying to get to her; first it was just her voice and her scent, but then finally Octavia felt her touch, her arms, her warmth. She felt like she was flying. In fact, she was flying, or her feet left the ground at least as Anya spun her around, shouting over the crowd around them, “O! O! You Did It! I’m so proud of you… I— I love you…”

In an instant, Octavia’s hazy trance fell away. She felt her heart swell then, almost to the point of bursting, and for a moment, there was no one else in the world, just the two of them, alone. She was so in the moment though, she did even hesitate to reply, “God, I love you too, Anya… so much…”

 

~~~

 

Those two minutes and forty-one seconds seemed like they were the longest of Anya’s life, but when she watched the referee pull Octavia off of Ontari’s back, she wasn’t actually sure why the ref was putting a stop to the competition. Then, she saw the purple, panting face of Ontari and quickly realized Octavia had done it. She had beaten Ontari, by submission even, and Anya found herself filled to the brim with pride. She had seen how hard Octavia had been working the last two-odd weeks, and she didn’t think anyone deserved to win quite as much as Octavia. She knew her opinion might be a little biased, but Anya figured that if anyone said otherwise, she’d have no problem fight them over it.

When the cage door opened in front of her, she didn’t even hesitate for a second, rushing into the cage, right along with half the crowd from the first few rows. They were all press or trainers or sponsors. She even saw a couple of medical professionals make their way into the cage as well. As such, it took her a minute to push her way through, but she nearly ended up snarling when a tall, bald man stepped in between her and Octavia at the last second. Thankfully, he didn’t linger, stepping out of the way almost as quickly as he had come. She was too amped up to control her emotions; she was so happy she didn’t even want to, and she swept Octavia into her arms without a second thought, letting all her fluttering emotions come spilling out.

The way Octavia looked at her then, partly confused and partly overwhelmed, made Anya’s nerves flutter, but then Octavia gave her that smile and returned her feelings in a rush all her own. Suddenly, everything felt right and whole, like home. It felt so good that Anya never wanted to let go, but eventually, she couldn’t ignore the crowd encroaching in on their moment. She felt the cameras flashing and could hear the spectators beginning to speculate and she knew that they had to separate, at least far enough so Octavia could answer those questions being lobbed their way. Octavia’s bout was the last one of the night, so there was no rush as they chatted with the folks who were there from Octavia’s sponsors and took pictures with anyone and everyone who asked. There were even a couple of reps from bigger sponsors that wanted some of Octavia’s time, and when their conversation turned from simple congratulations to business, Anya finally let go of Octavia, thinking she didn’t want to intrude while they talked about money. She moved back outside of the cage to stand with Echo then and while they chatted a little bit as they waited, Anya could tell they were both just happy to watch Octavia be happy.

Eventually, Anya glanced around the arena at large, sighing when she realized that most of the crowd had dissipated, save for only a couple of groups of people here and there up in the stands. Straining her eyes, she could just make out Lexa and Clarke, and Abby and Raven, all waving at her from the nosebleed seats. She waved back, smiling at them even though she knew there was no way they could see her face from that far away. She figured they were probably waiting for Octavia to be done with the formalities before they came down to the arena floor, but as she watched she could tell they were already gathering their things and beginning to make their way down. She glanced back to Octavia then, and when she noticed the crowd inside the cage was dwindling too, she was very grateful. She was definitely looking forward to rewarding Octavia for a job well done. She found herself thinking, ‘there could be outfits,’ as Lexa and Clarke, and Abby and Raven finally walked up. Anya made sure to be polite, introducing Echo to everyone and everyone to Echo.

It turned out that Raven and Echo already knew each other, having meet one day at Raven’s repair shop. Anya figured that was more of an Octavia/Bellamy connection rather than Raven actually knowing Echo personally, but they all seemed amicable enough anyway. After the initial introductions and such, the conversation flowed fairly easily; Clarke commenting on how she had won two-hundred and fifty dollars on Octavia’s fight and that they should all go out to celebrate. Abby jumped in from there, chastising Clarke about gambling, but Clarke jumped right back, telling Abby that it had been Raven who given her the idea in the first place. Everyone was laughing and smiling and generally having a good time, but Anya couldn’t help wondering what was taking Octavia so long with those sponsors.

The distance between them didn’t really bother her at first, but when a lull in the conversation formed, Anya finally noticed how quiet the arena had gotten. She peeked back at the cage to look for Octavia then, only to find her backed up against the chain-link with the bald man from before encroaching on her space. For a half a second, Anya thought maybe it was Lincoln, but then the look of disgust on Octavia’s face told her the man definitely wasn’t Lincoln. The scent of reeking, raging alpha hit her just after that, and her mind snapped to, focusing, homing in on the threat. Before she was truly aware of what she was doing, her hand was shaking as she gripped the cage door. It slammed open a second later, rattling loudly against the section of cage next to it. The man whipped around, attention drawn by the sound and he snarled, face drawn up in sheer aggression. She finally placed a name with the face, and she down-right snarled Tristan’s name as she advanced on him. She knew from their earlier meeting that she was the stronger alpha, and she immediately turned it on, pouring dominant pheromones into the air by the truckload. She was sneering and growling louder and louder as she took each step, and her entire body was rigid under the tension. It was all she could do to keep herself from just ripping Tristan’s throat out right there in front of everyone. He was still advancing on her too, but with a girt of her teeth and clenching of her fists, she rained her will down on him, emptying herself into it, into forcing him to submit.

Finally, Tristan’s body wrenched forward, every muscle he had obviously straining against her call for submission. Anya almost laughed as he tried to fight it, but then his knees suddenly buckled, and he fell. The movement forced his head back too, and Anya snarled as his neck bared to her. She wasn’t sure how she came to be hovering over him, but when he swallowed her eyes tracked the movement instinctually. She could feel it then, he was readying himself to push back against her again. Anya wasn’t going to have that though, and before Tristan could do any more than breathe in, she dug her fingers into either side of her throat and squeezed.

Gritting her teeth, she managed to keep herself from adjusting her grip and actually ripping his throat out. She growled instead, squeezing her hand tighter around his windpipe. He snarled back, albeit sort of weakly, but before Anya could tighten her grip further, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist, not pulling, just holding her in place. Octavia’s soothing scent was everywhere then, swirling all around her and her grip slipped slightly. “That’s right, babe. Let him go. It’s ok, I’m safe,” vibrated against her back and her grip slipped some more. The second her grip finally released, Tristan was sliding across the mat, cringing and whimpering. He was acting like trapped prey and Anya’s instincts screamed at her to give chase, but when she tried to move to follow, Octavia’s strong arms around her waist didn’t let go. Instead, “Let him go, Anya. He’s not a threat… I love you, remember?” vibrated against her back again, and she found herself calming under the tender words. Still, she only managed to turn her back on her prey when it finally slithered out of the cage.

 

~~~

 

Sighing as Anya’s hackles started to die down, Octavia sank into Anya’s arms, feeling more exhausted by the last few minutes than she did from the fight. The things Tristan had said were still roaming around in her mind, playing over and over, ‘Do you remember our last embrace? The heat, the control… I need to feel that again, and… You’re gonna give it to me…’ Despite the overwhelming fear of that moment, she’d instantly known what he was talking about; the choke-hold he had caught her in almost three weeks before, the one where she’d nearly blacked out because she’d been so distracted. Oddly enough, it was the same hold she had just used to beat Ontari, but that barely registered in her mind. Pressed up against Anya’s chest, with Anya’s arms wrapped so tight around her, all she could think about was what she had been daydreaming about that day. It was almost like that dream had come true too, Anya’s possessive grip only reinforcing her need to be possessed. With that kind of raw power coursing around under Anya’s skin all the time, it was a wonder that Octavia didn’t just drop to her knee right there in the middle of the cage. She couldn’t get lost in those thoughts though, her mind snapping back to the present when she heard Tristan begging for her help, whimpering as he called out to her from somewhere behind her. She unburied her head from Anya’s chest just far enough to turn her head towards him, and she actually smiled when she saw the way Echo had him pressed up against the chain-link, one arm held up high behind his back, the other looking loose and dead at his side. She briefly wondered if Echo had dislocated that one before taking up his other arm instead, but then she noticed Lexa and Clarke, and Abby and Raven, were standing in pairs only a few feet behind Echo. Sneers and clenched fists all around, they looked like they were all ready to back Echo up if Tristan started struggling again.

For just the briefest of moments, her eyes met with Tristan’s, and the sick, desperate look there made her cringe and look away again. He called her name then, a pleading note in his tone, but the sound quickly cut off in a grunt. She looked back just in time to see Echo push up on his arm, wrenching it so far up that Octavia wasn’t sure Echo wasn’t going to dislocate that shoulder too. Even when he was just her trainer, Octavia had never liked him, but after the things he’d said, all the things he’d wanted to do to her, Octavia found she had absolutely no sympathy left for him. Anya stiffened against her at the sound of her name too though, so Octavia quickly spat at him as she said, “I’ll let her kill you next time, Tristan. Don’t think I won’t…”

There were a few more grunts and hisses of pain after that, but Octavia just turned her head back into Anya’s chest and let Anya lead her out of the cage. As they walked towards the locker room, Anya asked if she was ok, and Octavia insisted she was fine, a little shaken, but fine. Of course, she was lying; she wasn’t fine, but she didn’t know what else to say. How could she know what to say? She’d known Anya had been holding back, probably not wanting to get to rough with her before her fight, but that wave of dominance Anya had used on Tristan was something else entirely. Anya had been holding back alright, waaay back. It seemed that even that first night when Anya had almost challenged Lincoln over her, Anya hadn’t used the full extent of her will then either. Feeling that wave, even when it wasn’t directed at her, left Octavia uncomfortably sticky, her underwear wetting through in an instant. Even with everything that had happened, the fight and the fear, she couldn’t stop her imagination from running wild, images of Anya swirling through her head; Anya snarling commands at her, taking her and controlling her, _possessing_ her completely.

Of course, Anya seemed to sense some of what she was thinking though, wrapping an arm a little tighter around her waist as they passed the last lingering photographer. He’d taken their picture as they approached him, but when Anya snarled at him, he quickly apologized and averted his eyes. It didn’t take them long to reach the locker room after that, and Octavia couldn’t have been happier when they finally stepped out of the public eye. She wasn’t sure if she was on the edge of a crying fit, or if she was about to start tearing her clothes off and begging Anya to fuck her. She knew that neither of those things would solve how she was feeling, but they seemed like good places to start, nonetheless. She’d feel release from the tension building inside her either way.

Once they were alone inside the locker room though, neither of those things happened. Instead, Anya begin slowly undressing her, never letting them be physically separated, not even for a second. Octavia just stood there, a little dumbfounded as Anya started to unwrap her wrists, cutting them away as delicately as she could. She caught on quickly after that though, sighing when Anya reached for her ribs and began slowly pulling her sports bra up her body and over her head. Anya’s hands were so gentle when they eventually landed on her hips, and Octavia went along willingly when those hands started to guide her down onto the bench. She knew what was coming next, her trunks, and Octavia couldn’t help feeling a little nervous. There would be no mistaking how aroused she was when her trunks came off, but Anya didn’t seem to notice though. Well, Anya didn’t say anything about it, but Octavia caught the subtle way Anya’s nostrils flared as Anya gently tugged the spandex down her legs. Still, Anya’s touch remained gentle, maybe even more tender because of what had just happened with Tristan, and Octavia found the flames inside her starting to dwindle. It didn’t look like they were going to go out anytime soon, but with Anya’s fingers dipping inside the sides of her underwear and pulling them down, Octavia felt soothed instead on inflamed, the reverence of Anya’s aura tamping down the lingering flare ups.

Following Anya’s gaze, Octavia spotted her street clothes folded neatly at the other end of the bench, but when Anya leaned away to reach for them, Octavia whined in discomfort, both at the sudden distance from Anya, and the idea of getting dressed without showering. She was sweaty and gross from the fight, but she really wanted to wash away Tristan’s stink that still lingering on her skin. Thankfully, her whine, combined with the look on her face, seemed to inspire Anya to action and she smiled as Anya scooped her up and carried her into the adjoining shower. Reluctantly, she pulled her arms away from Anya’s shoulders as Anya sat her down on the bench in the shower. Anya was only away from her for a second though, as she quickly started up the hot water. A few moments later, hot steam started to fill the room; the warmth of which sank deep into Octavia’s bones, leaving her feeling calm and safe. She could hear Anya moving around behind her, and figured Anya was taking off her clothes as well, but she felt almost too relaxed to move. That was proved inaccurate a moment later though, when Anya pulled the showerhead down to spray her over back, and Octavia immediately flinched at the shock. The steam had felt good, but that water was definitely too hot.

Before she could say anything, Anya quickly reached over and turned the water temperature down a little before trying again. The water was much more palatable then, and Octavia felt her shoulders slump as Anya drew the water over her head to begin washing her hair. Anya’s hands scrunching the shampoo into her scalp felt like heaven and it wasn’t long before Octavia was leaning back against Anya’s thighs, head hanging loosely from her neck as Anya’s rinsed the suds away. Conditioner came next, just on the tips of her hair that time, and then more rinsing after that, before Anya moved on to wash her body. Anya’s touch was so gentle as she spread soap all over, but every time those hands brushed against her side, Octavia had to bite her lip to keep from hissing out a curse. Obviously, that one blow that Ontari had landed was a good one, leaving her left side feeling bruised already. The tender way Anya was taking care of her felt too good though; she didn’t want Anya to stop, and she knew if she expressed too much pain, Anya definitely would.

It was the good kind of pain anyway; one that reminded her that she had won and that she was alive and that she loved Anya and Anya loved her. It was hard to keep any train of thought from derailing though, especially with Anya’s fingers still lingering against her skin, even long after all the soap had been rinsed off. Her touch wasn’t sexual in any way; it was almost as if Anya was looking for the spots that hurt, and Octavia decided to be more honest as Anya’s hands continued to trail over her body. She winced here and there, allowing some her actual pain to show. She reassured Anya each time too, saying that it was alright and that she didn’t think anything was broken. Still, when Anya finally turned the shower off, Octavia heard the concern in Anya’s voice as she said, “I’d still like you to see someone tomorrow, just in case…”

At first, Octavia just nodded, knowing that she already had an appointment with the doctor that Echo kept on retainer. She also knew that Dr. Laurio was a large, male alpha, and she figured it probably wasn’t the best time to mention that said alpha would be seeing her mostly naked the next day. The little devious part of her brain thought that stirring up Anya’s alpha sounded like a lovely idea, but she reigned in the urge to bring it up, and instead, she murmured, “I… I’ve got it covered. Can we— Can we just go back to your place? I really need… need to forget about all this.”

They didn’t talk anymore after that, Anya nodding herself as she escorted Octavia back into the locker room proper. Again, Octavia swooned as Anya’s hands lingered against her body, always keeping one hand in contact with her skin, at her waist or her shoulder or her arm. Anya steadied her as she slipped into her boy shorts and sweats, helped her pin her bra on from behind her back and pull her tank top down over her shoulders. Anya pressed gentle kisses against her cheeks and forehead as she braided her hair, and then hugged her and held her tight when they were both finally dressed. After only a few minutes, Octavia started to get restless though. She knew they needed to leave, needed to go home, so that if, on the off chance, she did have a break down, it wouldn’t be anywhere near the press or the public. When she started to pull away, it seemed Anya understood instantly, grabbing up her bag and throwing in over one shoulder, and bringing her other arm to rest against Octavia’s waist as she ushered her out into the hall.

Even after they’d lingered so long in the locker room, when they finally got outside, there was still a bit of a commotion going on. Two cops were obviously struggling as they tried to shove the now-belligerent Tristan into the back of their squad car. Through the chaos, Octavia spotted Echo looking on, standing off to the side; Clarke and Lexa, and Raven and Abby, all standing behind her, watching the proceedings as well. Without a word, Anya led Octavia over to the group, finally stopping in between Lexa and Abby. Octavia didn’t argue when Anya took her hand and placed it on Lexa’s forearm, knowing what Anya was intending. A short, silent exchange occurred; Lexa nodding to Anya as she pulled Octavia closer into her side. As much as Octavia felt like she could take care of herself, she still sighed as Lexa placed a hand over her own and squeezed ever-so-slightly. She felt Abby take a step closer too, scooping up her other hand, offering her support with a gentle squeeze as well. She was sure Abby’s position would block her view of scene that Anya was about to make, but Octavia leaned out a little to watch, part of her desperate to see Anya Alpha-out, again.

When Anya had forced Tristan to his knees inside that cage, Octavia had almost passed out. The surge of pheromones that had rushed over her, felt like a highly addictive drug was burning its way through her veins. She needed to see Anya like that again, and as often as possible. It was like that first night at Skai’s together, when she’d given Anya the right to control the very air she breathed. It wasn’t just that she wanted Anya to control her either. When Anya got all dominant and aggressive like that, it felt like Anya wanted to control her and protect her and love her and devour her all at once. Even with all that running through her brain, she managed to focus as Anya approached the ruckus Tristan was making. He thrashed around wildly, struggling in the grip of the officers holding him, spitting curses and shouting obscenities, but then she heard Anya snarl his name. He twitched and flinched, going suddenly still at the sound, and Octavia nearly whined when she realized she wasn’t close enough to feel the pheromones that were surely coming off of Anya in droves. Well, she couldn’t sense them at first, but when they finally hit her, her whimper escaped anyway, her entire body quivering at the sensation of Anya’s dominance rolling over her once again. Lexa must have noticed her reaction though and coughed lightly, even as she continued to tremble. Of course, Octavia blushed, looking away from the scene in front of them, trying to hide how aroused she was, but then Lexa just whispered, “Don’t be embarrassed… I think she’d be flattered.”

It was exactly the encouragement Octavia needed, and she looked back up just as the two police officers managed to shove a slumping Tristan into the back of their car. She watched with a soft smile on her face as the officers pulled Anya aside for a second, but still, it wasn’t long before Anya was making her back to the group. Octavia easily slumped into Anya’s side when Anya placed an arm around her waist, suddenly needing that connection more than anything. She shared a few kind words with Echo, although most of them went in on ear and out the other. She got similar congratulations from Clarke and Lexa, and Raven and Abby, but again, it wasn’t long before they were all headed for the parking lot, moving towards their prospective cars. She smiled as ‘Goodnights’ were waved back and forth. Promises of double and triple dates were made too, and Octavia actually giggled when Clarke groaned at the idea of going on a group date with her mom. She was happy that they could all laugh about it though, because Octavia could tell Clarke was kidding, or at least mostly kidding. It seemed that despite their busy lives, they’d all grown closer over the last couple of weeks, and Octavia figured that even if things weren’t perfect, they were learning how to become a family, nonetheless.

 

~~~

 

When they were finally settled into the seats of Octavia’s car, Anya sighed in relief. She’d run the whole gambit of emotions over the last few hours and after so much exertion, Anya was beyond thankful to be heading home. If she felt tired, Octavia surely did too, but when she glanced over to the passenger’s seat, she found Octavia staring at her with this look like she couldn’t decide whether she was aroused or amazed. She had a few ideas why Octavia would be looking at her like that, but she decided to ask anyway, a part of her just wanting to hear Octavia say it out loud. Her attention seemed to snap Octavia back to reality too, and when Octavia’s hazy eyes cleared, she murmured, “What’s going on in that head of yours, O?”

Octavia blushed and tried to play it off, obviously going for a causal tone as she said, “Nothing… nothing…” but Anya knew better. Octavia was an open book most of the time, but she tended to clam up when it came to her true feelings, especially when they were the not-safe-for-work type of feelings. In turn, Anya had been trying to encourage Octavia to be more vocal. No matter how she felt about Octavia, if they were going to work, she needed Octavia to be able to tell her when she wanted to try something new, or when something was too intense. Anya guessed that message still hadn’t sunk in, but when she fixed Octavia with a skeptical look, raised eyebrow and all, Octavia just blushed even more and whispered, “I— I was just… daydreaming about you.”

Hearing the hesitation in Octavia’s voice, Anya began to worry. Had she been too dominant, too possessive? Was she scaring Octavia away and she didn’t even notice? Luckily, her rational mind didn’t let her get to far down that rabbit hole, and she realized Octavia had been nothing but receptive to her presence and her touch since the stand-off with Tristan. Still, there was this nagging feeling that the whole ordeal had upset Octavia more than she was letting on. The daydreaming was a least a place to start digging though, so she coaxed Octavia’s fingers to intertwine with her own as she said, “Come on, O, I find that a little had to believe… You’re daydreaming about me when I’m sitting right here? Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on in there?”

Bringing her other hand up to sweep a few stray hairs away from Octavia’s face, Anya timed the gesture to emphasize her point, but she sighed when Octavia shied away from her; not pulling away from her touch necessarily but turning her face down in embarrassment. Anya simply shifted her hand down to cup Octavia’s jaw and gently tipped her head back up, fixing Octavia with a soft smile that she hoped would inspire confidence. It seemed to work too, because a moment later, Octavia finally spoke, “I think you’ve been holding out on me, and I don’t like it.”

Not sure how to take that, Anya scoffed. The mildly accusatory tone picked at her pride and she suddenly felt confused. She thought she was doing pretty well with the whole expressing herself thing; telling Octavia that she wanted her to be her girlfriend, telling Octavia that she loved her. That was a huge step for her, whether Octavia realized it or not, and not just that she expressed it, but that she’d fallen in love with Octavia in the first place. She thought about defending herself, thought about coming back at Octavia with all the reasons why she thought she was doing so well, but she knew that wasn’t a good idea. Her words would come out wrong no matter how she said them, especially after the two clashes with Tristan. Riled up and confused was not a good way to go about solving problems, so instead of barking out the first ten things that came to her mind, she finally said, “I’m not sure I know what you mean, but… I’m willing to listen, if you’re willing to explain.”

“You’ve been holding your Alpha back and I don’t like it,” Octavia clarified quickly, before fixing Anya with an anxious stare. At first, Anya was too shocked to make much sense of that either, but as Octavia continued, she began to understand, “All that... dominance, Anya. I had no idea how deep it went. I… I haven’t been able to think about anything except being yours since. I want that, so bad… Please, I—” The words cut off there, but Octavia’s reaction to her dominance was clear, and Anya felt almost smug sort of pride as Octavia scooched closer, leaning across the center console to quietly add, “please, just take me, Alpha. show me I’m yours… please…”

Those words alone were enough to make Anya’s pulse race, but then she felt Octavia’s tongue gliding up the side of her neck. The contact drove a hoarse curse out of Anya’s mouth, and soon, it wasn’t just Octavia’s tongue against her skin. Anya hissed again, “ _SHIT_ ,” much more loudly than the first time, as Octavia’s hot mouth suddenly closed over her pulse point, all biting teeth and sucking lips. Her head was swimming and her blood rushed between her ears, but it wasn’t enough to distract her from what Octavia was offering her. Anya quickly brought her hand to the back of Octavia’s head, trying to take over the situation with a single clench of her fist. A choked moan erupted from Octavia’s lips and Anya dug her nails deeper into Octavia’s scalp as the sound vibrated against her skin.

In her rational, logical mind, Anya knew that Octavia’s desires were probably just a coping mechanism to help her deal with the way Tristan had acted towards her, but Anya couldn’t deny that she wanted Octavia too. She loved Octavia, wanted her almost more than she wanted air, but seeing Tristan threaten Octavia had changed things. Since the moment she’d seen that terrified look on Octavia’s face, she’d wanted to claim her. She wanted the world to know that Octavia was hers, and hers alone. She’d managed to stave off those urges so far, but with Octavia offering herself up on a silver platter, Anya was having a hard time not marking her right there in the parking lot. That reality was the only thing that held Anya back. They’d have to have several, serious conversations before Anya would let them get that far. She wouldn’t not allow them to be rushed into something so serious, especially after the general duress of their whole evening.

When she felt the fervor of Octavia’s lips at her throat though, her resolve faltered for a moment. Octavia was an obviously consenting adult, but Anya knew deep down that she would always wonder if Octavia regretted it or not. Even if Octavia said she didn’t, Anya would never be able to be sure, and she didn’t think that was something she could live with. She thought maybe there was a way she could make Octavia hers without leaving any permanent marks; she figured half of being committed to someone else was mental anyway. It seemed she’d spent too long thinking about all that though, and she couldn’t hold back the snarl that built in her chest as Octavia’s teeth sunk deep into her neck. It wasn’t enough pressure to break the skin, but there would surely be a deep bruise when Octavia was done. Cinching her fingers into Octavia’s quickly braided hair, Anya jerked back and finally forced Octavia away from her neck. She pulled and pulled, until they finally came eye to eye and when they did, Anya smirked as she growled out, “Gorgeous, if that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll get, but… not… here.”

Octavia whimpered, and the sound nearly broke through Anya’s resolve all over again, but she held fast. They were still in the very open parking lot, where anyone could walk up on them any second, and with the plan forming in her head they’d need a little more privacy than that. She clenched her fingers even harder into Octavia’s hair in warning, but Octavia simply squirmed in her seat and whimpered again, “A-ah, Ok... But, just… just hurry, ok?”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that,” Anya murmured as she withdrew her hand from Octavia’s hair. She quickly threw the car in gear and pointed it toward the main road, weaving through the sports complex’s parking lot with ease. The event traffic had completely clear out, and once they were out of the lot, there wasn’t much traffic on the surface streets either. Which was lucky, because Anya could feel Octavia’s unease growing. She tried to soothe Octavia a little bit, reaching back over to place her hand on the back of Octavia’s neck, playing with the little hairs that had escaped Octavia’s braid. Even with the added reassurance, Anya could still feel Octavia trembling under her touch, but she hoped it was simply anticipation that had Octavia so keyed up. Thinking Octavia could use a little more steadying, she slipped her hand up a little higher and gently carded her fingers into the looser hair underneath Octavia’s mostly still-intact braid. Octavia mewled softly beside her, her head sinking back a little at the contact, obviously searching for more of Anya’s touch. Anya obliged too, scrunching her fingers in Octavia’s hair, lightly dragging her blunt nails over the base of Octavia’s scalp. She hadn’t meant for the gesture to be anything more than reassuring, but it wasn’t long before Octavia was squirming in her seat again, letting out little puffed whimpers as Anya continued to tease her scalp.

Those little sounds had Anya digging in deeper, wanting to hear them over and over, but when Octavia’s hips started rocking down against her seat, a harsh rhythm right from the beginning, Anya lightened her grip. She wasn’t ready for that yet; she couldn’t devote more than a few seconds of her attention to Octavia at a time, not while she was driving anyway, and the things she wanted to do to Octavia definitely warranted more of her concentration than that. With the light traffic, she wasn’t totally unwilling to keep them moving towards those mutually-assured orgasms that were on the horizon, but they would have to play by her rules, or not at all. She scrunched her fingers one last time before she jerked back on Octavia’s braid, forcing her head back. Octavia keened at the rough gesture, but it seemed Anya’s point was clear when Octavia’s hips stilled, nonetheless. Anya felt quite smug about Octavia’s reaction actually and decided to harass her about it a little. She wanted to gauge Octavia’s reactions further, but she knew Octavia would enjoy the embarrassment too. When they pulled up to a red light, she leaned over the center console and said, “Look at you, so desperate you can’t even wait, can you? If I let you keep going, you’d probably come right in your sweats, wouldn’t you? Maybe, I should make you wait, huh? Wind you up and up and up, and then make you beg me to let you come… Is that what you want, little O? Do you want me to hold you right at the edge for hours before I give you what you need? Or… maybe, you want to have so many orgasms you pass out, hum? Because that can be arranged too…”

A long silence followed and for a second, Anya thought Octavia was simply too overwhelmed to respond, but eventually, Octavia stuttered out a soft, “I-I-I—” before the sound cut off again. It wasn’t hard to hear the desperation in Octavia’s voice, even in just that one letter. Octavia was ready to do anything Anya told her, probably had been from the start, and Anya relished in the feeling of Octavia submitting so easily to her. A smug smirk filled her face as Octavia’s stuttering continued though, Octavia managing to get a few words out that time, “I w-wa-want w-whatever you’ll give me, A-alpha. I’m… I’m yours...”

Octavia’s head tilted in her grip, and Anya could easily see how sure Octavia was, how ready she was for whatever was about to happen. She gave another solid tug to the back of Octavia’s head then, maintaining the firm pressure to hold Octavia’s head back, keeping her neck exposed. She glanced back at the light and was delighted to find it still red. Not wanting to miss the opportunity, she leaned in close to Octavia’s unprotected neck and nipped hard at her scent gland. Octavia gasped and jerked, but it was only a second before Octavia was settled back in her seat, obviously trying to keep herself still. Anya decided to reward her for the effort, husking against Octavia’s ear, “Since I can’t do it myself, I want you to touch yourself for me.” Clearly, Octavia didn’t want to wait the twenty minutes it would take them to get back to Anya’s, and to be honest, Anya was a little thrilled about how quickly Octavia moved to comply. She swiftly scooted her hips down in the seat, pulling her sweats down a little too as she went. Not a second later, her hand disappeared under them, and while Anya could see Octavia’s hand moving under the fabric, it wasn’t enough; Anya needed to be able to see her too, and she jerked in Octavia’s hair again, as she immediately barked out, “NO, I want to be able to see you. Take those off, underwear too.”

A little disappointed that the light chose that moment to turn green, Anya reluctantly pulled away as Octavia hustled to comply. All Anya could make out of the quick dispensation of Octavia’s sweats and underwear was the smell as the discarded clothes landed in her lap. After that, it was torturous having to keep her eyes on the road, because it was obvious when Octavia’s hand drifted back down her body and made contact again; a breathy, relieved sigh coming from the passenger’s seat. Anya kept one hand braced against the steering wheel, doing her best to remain focused on getting them to her apartment safely, but she needed to stay connected to Octavia too, so she kept her other hand clenched in Octavia’s hair. She could feel the way Octavia trembled against her grip, but as soft, squelching sounds filled the quiet cabin, she groaned at the thought of Octavia following her instructions, fingers moving over her own clit, circling her own entrance, pushing inside herself.

It was an altogether heady feeling, having Octavia hang on her every word, but for as much experience as Anya had, she’d never done this before. She’d never barked commands at an omega to bend her to her will, never pulled hair to make a point; never, never, never asked someone to masturbate for her. She quickly realized it was the next best thing to actually touching Octavia herself though and started giving commands, saying things like, “Just circle for a bit now,” or “Two inside, yes, that’s my good girl.” She loved it, setting a task for Octavia and hearing, and sometimes glancing over to see, the results. Sitting through a red-light cycle trying to make a left-hand turn, had never been so enjoyable before. Octavia followed each command, with fervor, drawing her fingers up to circle her clit or her folds, only to plunge two fingers in deep at Anya’s compulsory requests. Octavia’s sweet sounds continued on, little whimpers and throaty moans and breathy sighs. The speed at which those sounds drifted over from the passenger’s seat increased exponentially too, and it wasn’t long before Anya could tell Octavia was getting close. She wasn’t ready for Octavia to come yet though; she simply wasn’t ready for this to end. “Cup yourself and hold it… and don’t you dare come, you only come when I say so from now on,” Anya barked on instinct then, tightening her grip in Octavia’s hair. She gave a swift tug too, probably the hardest so far, and felt herself roar when Octavia made a choked moan, her breathe hitching from the force.

The light in front of them was green, but there weren’t any other cars around, so Anya chanced a quick glance over, just to be sure Octavia was still with her. When she found Octavia’s mouth slacked open, eyes shut tight in utter concentration, she knew her rougher treatment was appreciated. She checked the road again, only to glance back at Octavia again a moment later, but this time fixing her gaze much lower down. A smug smirk drew its way across her lips, as she noticed Octavia’s hand had gone still between her thighs, Octavia cupping herself just like she had asked. She was sure Octavia was pretty overwhelmed though and decided to lay off a little until they got back to her place, already imagining how explosive Octavia’s orgasm would be when Anya finally let her have it. She found herself filled with pride and love, and she couldn’t help the way she showered her omega with praise, “That’s a good girl, _my good girl_ … Listening to me and obeying me… so, so good for me.” Anya rewarded her further too, scrunching her fingers in Octavia’s hair again, dragging her nails lightly over her scalp. Octavia cooed at her words, pushing into her hand, and Anya continued with her ministrations as she purred, “Such a good little omega, taking what I give you… I can’t wait to give it to you myself; feel you, touch you, love you, myself, with my hand between your legs… or maybe with my mouth.”

The next light down the road shifted from green to yellow, and Anya let out a thankful sigh. She slowed to a stop when the light turned red, and without even a second’s hesitation, she quickly pulled Octavia’s head over to her own, devouring Octavia’s lips before the light could change to green again. When she pulled back to breathe, and to check the light, she smiled as Octavia panted into her mouth, “H-how much f-fur—further?”

The desperation she could hear in Octavia’s voice nearly made Anya chuckle that time. She had managed to turn Octavia into a complete mess, without even really touching her, but she held back her laughter when Octavia whined and arched into her hand. She resisted the urge to drag her nails harshly over Octavia’s scalp again, because she knew this was new for Octavia; new for them both really, so she simply continued her light scratching and said, “Not too long now, my little O… Do you need to stop?”

Catching the light turning green out of the corner of her eye, Anya forced herself to pull away from Octavia’s panting face to focus on the road again. She was sure if it hadn’t been so quiet in the car, she would have missed Octavia’s whispered response, “I— I want to be your good girl, but if-if I… if we don’t… _soon_ … I’m afraid you’ll have to p-punish me for coming without p-permission.”

Instantly picking up on the desire in Octavia’s voice, Anya couldn’t help thinking about bending Octavia over and spanking that impatience right out of her. Maybe, she would introduce Octavia to her restraints and show Octavia what it really meant to have to wait for her pleasure. She sneered at those thoughts, growling lowly as she said, “You like that, don’t you, baby girl? Me punishing you? Spanking you? Tying you up so you can’t move? Making you wait and wait and wait…” Octavia mewled at the suggestion, obviously even more turned on by those ideas, and Anya couldn’t stop herself from saying, “Three inside, and use your thumb too… and so help me, do not come until I tell you or there will be consequences.” Octavia let out a distressed whine, but after only a second, Anya could tell her orders were being followed. The soft squelching sounds from earlier were much louder than before and Anya groaned, realizing she probably had Octavia dripping all over the passenger’s seat.

At that point, Anya felt like she was probably just as desperate for Octavia’s release as Octavia seemed, and she was ever-so-thankful when her apartment building finally came into view. She didn’t think she would be able to make Octavia wait until they got all the way up to her place, but then she remembered the farther reaches of the parking garage under her building. No one would be parked in the visitor’s spots on the lower level; no one parked down there, period. They would be virtually alone, and she found that the closer they got to that relative privacy, the closer she got to giving into Octavia’s desperate little mewls and whimpers. The way Octavia’s breath caught with every push in and fell with every pull out was so tempting. In fact, Anya was amazed Octavia was managing to keep any kind of rhythm, but after a few moments, she realized Octavia was starting to reach a sort of catatonic state. Her heavy breathing slowed and slowed, until it almost stopped, but the slick, sucking sounds continued, and Anya knew that if she didn’t ground Octavia a little bit, Octavia might actually get to the point where she physically couldn’t come when the time came. She began clenching her fist every time Octavia pushed in, releasing again as she pulled out, and she smiled when she heard Octavia coming back to herself, little, breathy moans echoing inside the car with each thrust.

The last light before their turn-in into the garage shifted to yellow, and for just a second, Anya thought about gunning it on through, but she stopped promptly instead. They’d made it this far without getting into an accident; running a red light at the last minute was just tempting fate. She used the opportunity to pull Octavia back over to her instead, leaning in herself, to whisper against Octavia’s lips, “Such a good girl, my little O. So beautiful… You can slow down now. It’s ok. We’re almost there. You’re almost there… That’s it… Good, good girl… You can stop now. I’ve got you…” Octavia let out the sexiest, most-desperate whine Anya had ever heard then, obviously torn between wanting to continue and wanting to stop. Anya immediately relaxed her grip in Octavia’s braid, thinking the physical shift would help Octavia down from the edge. She began massaging Octavia’s scalp a little too, allowing her hand to trail lower as she went, eventually rubbing the stiff muscles of Octavia’s neck as she continued with her praise, “You’ve made me so proud, holding it so long for me. You look so beautiful like this, all pent up and desperate… You just keep your hand down there, ok? Keep that safe for me for just a minute…. I can’t wait to show you how good you’ve been, my gorgeous girl.”

The light changed to green again, and Anya immediately pulled forward. She wasn’t rushing though; well, she was trying not to rush. The last thing she wanted was to jostle Octavia into an unexpected orgasm. It was obvious how close Octavia was, and Anya though that accelerating or stopping too fast, or even going through a pothole, could possibly tip her over the edge. With Octavia’s hand where it was, still three fingers deep inside herself, it wouldn’t take much, and Anya would hate to ruin how good Octavia had been for her, especially over something as stupid as that. Not that she would punish Octavia for accidentally coming, but Octavia would be disappointed in herself nonetheless, and that was pretty much the exact opposite of how Anya wanted to her feel about this experience. The explosive orgasm was only part of what was going on between them, and Anya knew it. It wasn’t just about getting off; their whole situation was an exercise in trust. Octavia was trusting her to take away her control; to help her set aside everything else, her inhibitions, her responsibilities, her triumphs and failures, and just be in the moment, just be Anya’s. That would only work out as long as Anya could make her feel safe while they were doing it.

Which is just a long way of saying: Anya pulled the car down into the parking garage as gently as possible. She glanced at Octavia every couple of seconds, just to make sure she was ok, and each time Octavia seemed to fall deeper and deeper into that trance like state. The only moments of lucidity were when they slow-rolled over a speed-bump or made a turn to head deeper into the garage. Each time Octavia’s hips shifted, even just slightly, the sounds she made had Anya salivating to satisfy her. “Almost there, baby girl. God… I can’t wait much longer either… I’m gonna make you come so hard,” Anya husked quietly as she slid her hand back up Octavia’s neck, carding her fingers in underneath Octavia’s braid again. She scrunched her fingers a few times, sighing as Octavia sank back into her grip. Anya relaxed a little too, carefully wheeling the car into a guest spot in the least populated section of the floor. There was only one other car down there with them anyway, and it was on the other side of the lot.

Once the engine was off, Anya turned as much of herself to Octavia as she could, reaching out with both hands to cradle the sides of Octavia’s still upturned jaw. When Octavia didn’t open her eyes Anya whispered, “Hey, gorgeous? Can you open your eyes for me?” She didn’t get much of a reaction, so she began rubbing her thumbs back and forth over the stiff muscles under them, hoping to rouse Octavia out of her daze. After several strokes, Octavia’s eyes did eventually flutter open, but it was almost like Octavia was asleep in there; her eyes were completely glassed over, pupils so wide there was only the barest sliver of color left visible around it. Anya took it as a good sign though, that Octavia could still think enough to follow her request, and continued, cooing quietly, “There she is, my good girl, my gorgeous girl… You can pull out, now, ok? I’m here to keep you safe now.” Octavia blinked at her, but that was about it, and a not-so-little part of Anya started panicking, like _Panic_ -panicking. She had pushed too far, too hard, and had broken her girlfriend. Not sure what to do, Anya pinched at Octavia’s cheeks just a little. The effort pinked the flesh there a bit, but it did seem like the fog over Octavia’s features was starting to clear, so Anya asked, more firmly than before, “Octavia, babe, are you with me?”

 

~~~

 

For the last twenty minutes, Octavia felt like she’d been trying to control a forest fire with a glass of ice-water. It was a little awkward in the beginning, when Anya had first asked her to touch herself, but as Anya instructed her and encouraged her, she’d gained more and more confidence. In fact, she’d felt so confident that she nearly came all over her seat the first time Anya had called her ‘ _my good girl_.’ She’d managed to keep herself in check though, wanting nothing more than to make Anya proud. She wanted Anya to see how much she trusted her, how much she loved her, but Octavia had ridden the edge for so long, she wasn’t sure how she was going to actually give her release to Anya when Anya finally asked for it. She wanted to come more than… well, not more than anything, not more than she wanted to please Anya by holding it in, but her nerves felt raw and frayed, like if she didn’t come soon, she was literally going to fall apart at the seams. When Anya told her to stop, she almost couldn’t see past the white-hot edge of bliss, but she decided not to try, not until Anya was ready for her to experience the blinding orgasm that was sure to come.

They’d stopped actually, but it wasn’t her name that brought her back from the brink. It was the way Anya called her ‘babe’ that finally snatched away that white light filling her vision. The nickname was casual, instead of sultry, and Octavia blinked hard as the threshold of oblivion faded into the background of her thoughts. There was Anya, her alpha, looking a little confused, but as her eyes focused, Octavia sighed as she took in the wide grin spreading across Anya’s lips. “A-An—” she tried, but her throat was just too tight and dry to manage anything more.

Anya shushed her anyway, “Shh, shh, little O, It’s ok. I’m here, we’re ok…” Octavia smiled as Anya’s comforting tone swept over her. Thumbs ran in swooping circles over her cheeks, and Octavia relaxed into the tender touch as well, her eyes slipping closed again as Anya continued to rub her face and purr. She was perfectly content to just enjoy the moment, until Anya’s voice returned, not nearly as calm and collected as before, “Hey, we are ok, right? We’re good?”

Eyes blinking open at the change in tone, Octavia just stared at Anya for a second, not really sure what she meant. The look of fear in Anya’s eyes told her everything she needed to know though. Of course, Anya was afraid she had gone too far, but if Octavia was being honest with herself, they were far from good. ‘Good’ didn’t even begin to describe how she was feeling; maybe wonderful, fantastic, magnificent and perfect, all rolled together could begin to explain how she felt. She tried to articulate that too, but mostly all that came out was a dry wheeze, so quiet she couldn’t even hear it herself. She swallowed hard to try to ease the dryness in her throat and tried again, that time managing to croak, “Y-yes… God, yes, Anya, we— we’re good, but could you—?” Her voice broke off as a crude, grunted whine forced its way out of her mouth as she finally withdrew her fingers from inside herself. She was so sensitive she felt like she would come the second Anya touched her, but she figured that was probably alright, considering she had earned it.

It seemed that reward was further off than she thought though, as Anya immediately scooped up her hand and began licking and sucking her fingers as clean as she could get them. Octavia squirmed in her seat the whole time, imagining those talented lips and that wicked tongue finally attending to her needs. When Anya finally released her thumb with a sloppy wet pop, Octavia nearly groaned when she heard Anya whisper, “never forget the thumb.” She fixed Anya with a look then, like if Anya didn’t get on with things she was going to do something drastic. Octavia didn’t really have any idea what ‘something drastic’ might be, but she couldn’t help feeling like she was going to melt; or explode, or scream, or cry. Anya’s voice brought her back to reality before she could start to spiral out of control though, whispering again, “I’m sorry, baby girl, I got carried away. You just taste so good… do you wanna see?”

Nodding heavily, Octavia felt even more excited by the prospect of sampling herself on Anya’s lips and tongue. It was one of the things Anya had introduced her to over the last few weeks, and while Octavia had never expected it to feel so good, she loved being able to taste herself in Anya’s kisses. Usually it was because Anya had just made her come with her mouth and Anya was too eager to kiss her to wipe her face beforehand, but as Anya pulled her in for a deep, passionate kiss, Octavia didn’t care about how her flavor got there, too overwhelmed by the way Anya’s tongue teased her own to care.

Much to her delight, it was only a few seconds into the kiss before Anya was taking control all over again, and Octavia willing gave herself over to the demanding grip on either side of her neck, allowing Anya to direct her however she wanted. She groaned loudly, hips bucking forward of their own accord, when Anya’s tongue pushed deeper into her mouth, licking the roof of her mouth before withdrawing. Her teeth snapped shut on instinct, barely missing the tip of Anya’s tongue on its way out, She almost apologized for nearly biting Anya, but Anya just laughed a wicked little laugh and smirked as she said, “Don’t get impatient now, not when you’re so close to getting your reward…” Octavia sank further into the seat at the husky note in Anya’s voice. It was obvious Anya was just as interested in her orgasm as she was, so Octavia forced her neck to the side slightly, deferring herself to Anya’s pace. She would take whatever Anya decided to give her, whenever she decided to give it to her, because she was sure her reward would be worth it in the end; she could wait just a little bit more. Anya’s rough whispered, “good girl,” was a reward in itself anyway, but as Anya reached across her and slid the passenger’s seat back as far as it would go, Octavia shivered in anticipation.

That shifting weight was the only warning Octavia got before Anya was hovering over her, a down-right voracious look in her eye as she whispered, “I’m gonna take such good care of you, gonna make you feel so good.” She wasn’t sure what Anya meant to do, but then Octavia finally put two and two together when she glanced down towards the floorboard. Anya was pushing her feet back as far as they would go, tucking and folding herself into the small space between her knees. Octavia wanted to tell Anya that they could move this to her apartment, that she could wait, that she didn’t want Anya to be uncomfortable and cramped, but if she was being honest with herself, Octavia wasn’t even sure she could put her underwear back on without coming.

It wasn’t long before Anya’s warm breathe was tickling the tops of her thighs anyway. The sensation was both comforting and craze-inducing, but Octavia’s muscles still clenched tight in anticipation. Anya’s hands followed her breathe as she whispered, “it’s ok, little O, just relax…” Octavia tried to do as she was told, but she found relaxing harder than she expected, especially with Anya’s fingers teasing the insides her thighs. Her muscles jumped and twitched uncontrollably under Anya’s touch, but when Anya barked, “Feet on the dashboard,” Octavia instantly raised her trembling legs, spreading herself wide as she planted her feet on the dash on either side of Anya’s shoulders.

The warmth of Anya’s breath spread over her exposed sex then, drawing a sharp unexpected gasp from her lips. She whimpered at the non-contact though, forcing herself to stay still and wait, knowing that if she tried to hurry things along, Anya would probably only drag it out further. It seemed it didn’t matter what she did however, as Anya dragged it out anyway, running a single finger up her inner thigh, getting tantalizingly close, only to withdraw it before Anya gave her any relief. She couldn’t help but look down at Anya then, unable to keep herself completely still, and as she watched Anya’s finger disappear into her mouth, she groaned, officially starting to lose her mind. Thankfully, Anya seemed to be picking up on that, whispering, “you ready for your reward, _my good girl_?”

Not even caring how desperate she sounded, Octavia groaned out, “Yes, Anya… Please, Yes!” Her hips bucked forward of their own accord, chasing the heat of Anya’s mouth, but she whined when Anya just chuckled and pulled away.

Thinking about smacking that smugness right out of Anya, Octavia huffed herself, but Anya just smirked at her exasperated attitude and commanded, “Put both hands in my hair.” That threw Octavia for a bit of a loop; she definitely was not expecting that order, but she dutifully scrunched her fingers into the back of Anya’s scalp, nonetheless. She must have dug in harder than she thought though, as Anya’s actually barked at the contact, “G-good girl… now, now show me what you need…”

Not needing to be told twice, Octavia quickly pulled Anya forward. Her body rolled and twitched at that first contact and she nearly screamed as Anya’s tongue flicked and pushed against her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she felt a pain in her side. It was mostly meaningless information floating around in her brain though, especially with the stiff, hot pad of Anya’s tongue finally on her. She jerked and pulled and gripped at Anya’s hair as Anya lapped back and forth through her folds, circling and thrusting and slipping all over her. She couldn’t help it as she began to pump her hips, chasing that tongue everywhere it went. When Anya finally pushed past the tight ring of muscles at her entrance, Octavia had no idea how she hadn’t come yet; Anya was devouring her, and it felt so good, almost too good.

Just the first few pumps of Anya’s tongue inside her had her walls sucking and clenching, trying to draw her alpha further inside, but when Anya began to pull back, maybe to change the angle, maybe to focus on other places, Octavia let her grip slack in Anya’s hair. She knew she’d been too forceful already, and Anya was probably pulling back to punish her, but then Anya called out sharply, growling against her folds as she said, “No! Keep them there…” The vibration alone was enough to make Octavia flinch, but once she actually understood the words, she made a conscious effort to tighten her grip again. That drew another growl from Anya, and she moaned as the vibration returned. She was so wrung-out that she wasn’t even sure which way was up anymore though, and it wasn’t long before she felt her grip slipping again. Anya pulled back completely then, and her hands fell to Anya’s shoulders in a slump. She was trying to do as Anya asked, but she was just so overwhelmed. The way that Anya looked at her was almost enough to push Octavia over the edge all by itself, but then Anya said something that really did drive her past the point of no return, Anya’s husky whisper full of desire as she said, “you’ve been so good, little O, so good for me… Take what you want now, baby girl… Fuck my face, come all over it, show me how much you need me…” Anya drew in a deep breath then, and held it, looking like it was the last air she expected to get for a while, and Octavia shuddered as she pulled Anya’s mouth back to her flesh. Anya’s tongue sank deep inside her on the first thrust, and suddenly, it seemed like ‘a while’ was going to be a bit of an overestimation. Now that Anya had given her explicit permission to come, Octavia was sure it was going to happen in record time. That searing, white light of oblivion was prickling around the edges of her vision after only five magical thrusts, and maybe a total of fifteen seconds later, Octavia clenched her fingers in Anya’s hair, her thighs slamming against either side of Anya’s head as her hips stalled half-raised off her seat.

There it was, the moment of absolute weightlessness; floating, soaring, safe high above the clouds. Then, the tremors started, first deep in her gut, rolling out in shockingly-strong waves as they pulsed through the rest of her body. Her inner walls trembled wildly too as Anya’s tongue continued to move, still buried as deep as it would go inside her, curling and uncurling in time with each pulse. “H-ha-ha, Hoa- G-G-G,” was all Octavia could choke out to express what she was feeling, like she might just float away if she let go of Anya’s scalp. As her orgasm continued to roll over her, Anya coaxed her through it; which was good, because Octavia definitely didn’t have the coordination to continue it herself. Anya seemed to drag it out much longer than Octavia ever thought possible too, her walls continuing to flutter and clench with every curl of Anya’s tongue. Anya kept wheedling at her, building her up higher and higher, until Octavia wasn’t sure if Anya was going to stop before she came all over again. “H-Han-ya,” came out of her mouth then, but that was all she could manage to say as Anya dove in with even more fervor, pushing her hips back and forth with the force of her movements.

It was too much; the rocking back and forth, the curl and uncurl, the harsh bump of Anya’s nose against her clit with every drive forward. It was _way_ too much, but at the same time, woefully not enough. She was close, so close it was starting to hurt, the pressure inside her almost unbearable, but she just couldn’t will herself over the edge again. She wailed in frustration, arching her body hard into Anya’s face, desperately seeking the release she could feel almost within her reach. Her heart was pounding, and her blood was boiling, and her muscles were trembling, but then Anya’s hands grasped her ass and pulled her forward. The angle of Anya inside her shifted, and her heart suddenly stopped. Her blood stilled, and her muscles cramped, and all she could do was follow the light of bliss as it plunged her into the darkness.

When she came to, Octavia was naked, splayed out on a bed, and face down in a little pool of her own drool. It took her a second to get her eyes to focus, but when she finally mustered the energy to raise her head and look around, she sighed when she spotted Anya standing in the bathroom doorway, brushing her teeth, watching her. She shifted over a little, trying to get closer to Anya, even if it was only to the edge of the bed, but when she settled again, Anya had mover further away. She whined then, feeling sore and well-used, lonely and a little beat up, but Anya returned to the bedroom only a couple moments later, caring a second toothbrush and a cup of water. Octavia took the offerings gratefully, drinking half of the water down, before sticking the brush into her mouth to give her teeth a good scrub.

The domesticity of the gesture was not lost on Octavia, but there was so much more going on in that moment that the easy nature of it definitely took a back burner. The way Anya’s hand began trailing over her back, tender and soft; it almost seemed like Anya was seeking comfort for herself as much as offering it. That suited Octavia just fine. If Anya needed comfort, she was more than willing to offer it, shifting her toothbrush into her other hand so she could reach for Anya too. Her hand ended up resting on Anya’s thigh, fingers tickling at the skin inside her knee, and she smiled when she heard Anya sigh around her own toothbrush. They sat like that for only a minute or so though, before Anya’s hand disappeared from her back, only to appear in front of her face, offering her the half full cup of water again.

A little confused at first, Octavia took the cup, but then she noticed there were actually two cups stacked on top of each other. It didn’t take her long to figure out what Anya had intended from there. She pulled the second cup out from underneath the one still half full of water and then spit out her suds into it. She drew in a little water from the other cup, rinsed and then spit that out too. She huffed out a little laugh as she sat the spit-cup down onto the nightstand, thinking only Anya would find a way for her to brush her teeth without even having to get out of bed.

Anya disappeared into the bathroom again, only to return a moment later, sans toothbrush. Octavia tried to flip herself over, hoping to entice Anya into laying down with her and cuddling her, but that proved to be a mistake. She groaned as pain flared through her ribs, originating from that spot where she’d taken that one good shot from Ontari. Anya was there though, helping her ease herself back down onto the mattress. “My brave, beautiful girl,” came a moment later, whispered and reverent, and Octavia shivered at the way those words made her toes tingle and her heart pulse. Anya did cover her then, long and lean and spread across her back, but the weight of Anya’s body didn’t stay though. Instead, Anya merely settled against her uninjured side and continued to whisper to her, “you’re so… I just… I love you so much, Octavia.”

Hearing the way Anya’s voice tightened with emotion was almost as good as hearing the words themselves, but when Octavia tried to respond, “A-A—” was all that would come out. She forced herself to swallow, to try again, but even then, all she managed was a weak, “oh anya.”

It seemed Anya knew all the things she didn’t have the energy to say though and cuddled in close against her side as she said, “It’s ok, baby girl. I know… Just try to get some rest… I’ll still be here in the morning… and as many more after that as you want.” Octavia simply nodded, utterly content, feeling secure in the knowledge that Anya would be there for her, always. She tried to enjoy that feeling as long as she could too, but with Anya’s warm, even breaths caressing her skin, it wasn’t long before Octavia was lulled into the deepest, most-exhausted sleep of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's definitely the longest chapter to date. I just hope it'll be enough to tide everyone over for another week or so... I'm visiting with family next week, so I'm not sure how much time I'll have to devote to proofing the next chapter. Rest assured, it's coming though...


	33. The Wind-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the wait... As I expected, my mom occupied every waking second we were together. I did manage to spend a couple days with friends there in the middle, but the last two weeks have been slammed full. If only I could have been proofing while driving... I probably could have gotten a lot done in those 2000 miles. Anyway, it shouldn't be so long again... Thanks for sticking around!

Watching Octavia’s fight wasn’t exactly what Abby would call fun; violence for violence sake didn’t really make sense to her. She thought she could try to find something to enjoy about it, but her ‘doctor’ brain took over anyway, and then all she could think was, ‘Contusion, Contusion, Bruised ribs,’ when in reality, Ontari had rocked Octavia’s world with a ‘jab, jab, hook.’ Still, Octavia had won, and Raven and Clarke and Lexa were all so happy about it that Abby decided not to mention her distaste for the whole thing. After that, Abby expected to be up half the night trying to keep up with Raven’s excitement, but after a few slow, tender orgasms were shared back and forth, they’d fallen asleep wrapped in each other’s limps. Maybe, it was all the commotion after the fight, or maybe Raven was just in the mood, but it seemed like Raven _needed_ her more than she _wanted_ her. That suited Abby just fine though; she was just as happy either way, whether Raven was the one tearing at her clothes, desperate to get closer, or Abby herself was the one doing the undressing. Getting to make Raven feel good was a win-win, no matter how it happened.

What Abby woke up to the next morning, was markedly less enjoyable; Raven pawing at her face, as her emergency pager went off on the other side of the room. Her eyes shot open when she registered the shrill sound for what it was, but then, she was promptly poked in the eye. Abby muttered, “ow, shit…” as she clutched at her face, trying to ward off Raven’s still flailing limb with her other hand. “Raven, honey, stop… It’s just my pager,” Abby added, when Raven continued to swat at her, but it wasn’t until Abby rolled towards her and kissed her that Raven’s protests started to die down. Without the added distraction of trying to defend herself, Abby managed to extract herself from the tangled legs and twisted covers pretty quickly. Even on sleepy legs, she immediately crossed to the dresser to silence her pager. Once the sound stopped, she tried to focus on the page itself, but when she saw the code, for a second, she couldn’t actually believe what she was seeing: Orange- Report ASAP.

Stumbling back over to the bed, she perched on the edge to scoop up her phone off the nightstand. Her brain already running through a hundred different scenarios, she quickly pulled up her contact information for the hospital and dialed the hospital’s operator. A stern, cranky voice came down the line, and Abby understood the situation all-too-quickly. If the operators were already getting punchy, that meant something really big had happened, like mass causalities, all-hands-on-deck, big. She didn’t want to waste the irritated woman’s time, knowing her other lines were probably ringing too, and simply confirmed her details and told the woman she’d be in as soon as she could. The operator actually seemed a little relieved when she responded, “Report to the ER when you get here… The chief is overseeing things directly from there.” Abby thanked the woman and hung up, hustling to put her phone back down before she made her way to the bathroom.

A quick shower wasn’t Abby’s idea of a good time either, but the brevity was just as necessary as the shower itself. Still drying her hair with her towel, she wandered out into the bedroom, intent on pulling some scrubs out of her dresser, but she paused when she found Raven sitting up in the middle of the bed, staring at her. She smiled at the confused, sleepy-puppy look on Raven’s face; obviously, Raven didn’t like being awake at five-forty-five in the morning. She quickly crossed back to the bed, wrapping her arms around that face, and hugging Raven tight to her chest. She could feel Raven relaxing against her, but she couldn’t let Raven get too comfortable. Still, she tried to let Raven down gently, dipping down a little to kiss the top of Raven’s head before she said, “There’s been some sort of accident or something. I’m not sure what, but I have to head in to the hospital… I imagine I’ll be there all day.”

When she felt Raven sigh against her chest, Abby wished she could stay and cuddle Raven back to sleep, but she needed to go; literal lives depended on it. It seemed Raven knew that too though, and after only another second, Abby heard her grumble, “Go on… Just text me later and let me know you’re ok, ok?”

Abby smiled as she pressed her lips to the top of Raven’s head again, taking in a big breath, trying to fill herself with Raven’s scent. She hoped it would give her courage, but it just left her feeling torn instead; her body telling her to get back in bed with her omega, but her brain telling her to get a move on. Of course, her brain won out, and she finally just said, “I will, honey. You try to get some sleep and I’ll text you when I get a chance.” Raven tilted up into her then and Abby couldn’t help spending just one more second kissing her, especially not when she could feel how much Raven needed the connection. It was so strong that Abby hated to pull away, but ultimately, she had to; she had a job to do. She placed one last peck to Raven’s lips and said, “I’ll be home as soon as I can.” Raven only nodded, bumping their foreheads together slightly, and Abby smiled as she got up from the bed. Despite the likely-horrifying scene she about to face at the hospital, she knew that she could handle whatever came her way, as long as she could come home to Raven at the end of the day.

That resilience was tested before she even got into the hospital though. All the entrances were swarmed with emergency vehicles and she had to circle the staff lot twice just to find a parking spot. At least, she had tried to prepare herself for what was ahead, having tuned the radio to a local station for the drive to hospital. From what the broadcasters had said, several dozen people had been injured in a train accident. There weren’t any specific numbers yet, but one show host had speculated that it could be over a hundred by the time everything was said and done. When Abby finally got inside the hospital, she realized that host was probably going to be right, too. The triage nurses were obviously swamped; people were lining the halls and the waiting room was completely full too, but for the most part, Abby thought everything looked under control. That is, until she crossed into the ER proper and found herself staring down bed after bed, all filled with people who were either bleeding, groaning in pain or simply unconscious.

The hospital staff were all hustling around too, zipping for patient to patient, shouting things back and forth. Spotting Thelonious towering over the crowd wasn’t difficult though, and Abby quickly jostled her way through the throng of people to get to him. He smiled when he saw her, but it was for only the briefest of moments before someone else approached him from his other side. He turned to them to answer their question first, but Abby waited her turn, knowing that with so much going on, she couldn’t expect his undivided attention. Still, it wasn’t long before Jaha turned back to her and said, “Abby, go find McIntyre. She’s setting you up in three… Expect incoming in five.” She gave him a quick nod, even though he had already turned toward his next problem to solve, and then hustled off to OR Three, trying to remain calm despite the way the adrenaline was making her heart race.

It was slew of surgeries after that; stabilizing compromised arteries, repairing damaged organs, even setting a few badly broken bones. Abby was exhausted after only a few hours, but she pushed through it, sweated through it, even succeeded through it. Her team members were all good at their jobs, so that helped. Harper stayed with her through it all too, and Abby had been beyond grateful, needing that friendly face inside her OR. She knew a few of the others too, if not by face then by reputation, and even though there were a few close calls, they managed to stabilize every patient that came across her operating table. It felt good, saving those people, and that helped with Abby’s exhaustion too. By the time, they’d finished with their seventh patient, Abby was feeling like they could save seven more if that was what needed to be done.

Coincidentally though, after her eighth patient, the flow of critical injuries had finally seemed to ebb. It made sense, probably every hospital in the city had seen injuries from the accident, and even though CCMC was closest to the train station were the crash had occurred, surely some of the more serious injuries had ended up at St. Marks, or at one of the three other hospitals in between. Without the adrenaline rush, without lives hanging in the balance, Abby felt her fatigue peeking back into her periphery, and she eventually shuffled her way towards the break room for some coffee. Picking up her phone from the locker room on the way, Abby slumped onto one of the couches to rest as she checked her messages. She’d missed two from Raven, but neither of them was anything pressing; the first came in around nine am. It was a picture of Raven’s breakfast, two mostly burnt pieces of toast, with the caption, ‘I eat better when you’re around…’ The second message came through about an hour later, and it had a little more substance, but not much. It read, ‘Going to my old place for a while today. Figure I can get some clean up done while you’re stuck at work. Hope everything’s going ok. I’ll see you tonight.’

It was nice of Raven to do little things like that, letting Abby know where she was going to be and when. It felt nice just having someone to keep track of again, if that made any sense. When Clarke was younger and she’d still been married to Jake, keeping up with work and her family had been hard, but then Jake had died, and Clarke had gone off to college, and Abby had been left without anyone to care for. Even when Clarke had come back into her life, Abby hadn’t needed to care for her; she’d only needed to _care about_ her. So, it was nice to have someone to care for again, and it was nice having someone care for her again too. She guessed it was one of those things most people in relationships took for granted; she sure had in the past, but she wasn’t going to anymore. She was determined not to take Raven for granted, not when she’d been handed a second chance at happiness.

Not thinking much of it, she happily texted back, ‘I like keeping track of you, just so you know,’ but when she hit send and re-read what she had written, she realized how weird that sounded. It was almost like she enjoyed stalking Raven, but before she could even get her thoughts together to try to explain what she meant via another text, Raven’s reply came through, ‘I like keeping track of you too… Speaking of, you think you’ll be getting out of there any time soon? Clarke is asking if we’re still on for dinner at 8.’ To be honest, Abby had forgotten all about Octavia’s celebration dinner, but when she glanced up at the time on her phone, she figured if she could get out of the hospital in the next ten or fifteen minutes, she could still make it. She quickly replied to Raven then, a simple, ‘Leaving her in ten. See you soon,’ and then got up to go find Jaha, knowing that after her track record that day, it wouldn’t be hard to convince him to release her for the evening.

 

~~~

 

With Abby off at work, Raven decided that, instead of sitting around the house all day, she should actually be proactive and use the time to finish cleaning out her old room at her old apartment. It felt sort of weird thinking about it that way though, because while she’d only been out of that apartment for roughly three weeks, it seemed like it had been ages since she’d slept there. Just walking through the door felt foreign, almost like she didn’t belong there anymore. It wasn’t like she didn’t feel welcome, however; over the last few weeks, there hadn’t been alone around to make her feel that way anyway. Still, when she got there, she entered cautiously, peering around the kitchen and down the hall, listening intently for an indication that she wasn’t alone. She figured Octavia would have been ‘celebrating’ all night with Anya, and that they were probably at Anya’s. At least, Raven hoped they were at Anya’s place. She didn’t hear the tell-tale signs coming from Octavia’s room, but that didn’t mean they weren’t in there sleeping off their sex marathon instead. She knocked on Octavia’s door, just to be sure, and when she didn’t get a response, she moved on to do the same at Clarke’s door. She felt like Clarke was probably at Lexa’s too, but again she wanted to positive. The last thing she wanted was for one of them to come tromping out of their respective bedrooms, naked and not knowing she was there. She certainly wasn’t a prude, and she’d seen Clarke and Octavia both naked at one time or other, but it would be awkward, and Raven just wasn’t in the mood for awkward.

Thankfully, there was no answer from Clarke’s room either, so with a shrug, Raven moved on, no longer able to put off the inevitable. In her room, her old room, there were a couple garbage bags piled up in one corner waiting to be taken out, and there was a box by the door, various and sundry cleaning products sticking out of the top, but otherwise her room was empty. She had thought she would just be taking out that trash and stocking the cleaning supplies under the kitchen sink, but as she looked around the bare walls, she remembered she still needed to patch a few of the larger holes she had made. It wasn’t like she’d gone around punching holes in her walls or anything, but the shelves she’d put up had required larger anchors and she wanted to cover up the holes those had left behind; if she could anyway. It wasn’t hard to tell that that was going to take a little while, but she figured she had all day, so really, it wasn’t a big deal. Well, she was trying to convince herself that it wasn’t a big deal, but after nearly five years living in that room, it was hard for her to push past all those memories. Most of them were good; watching TV with Clarke and Octavia on the couch, making ‘family’ dinners in their tiny kitchen. More than once, one of them had ended up covered in flour, trying to make biscuits or pizza dough from scratch, only for the bread to come out of the oven hard as a rock and totally inedible.

Of course, some of her memories weren’t nearly so good, like all those nights she’d gone to bed alone, tired and sore, and honestly, depressed, almost unlovable. Even with Abby in her life, she still felt that way sometimes, but those instances were at least fewer and father between. Love was something she had starved for her entire life really, and even though that thought embarrassed her a little, it was true. She’d felt wanted before, both as a friend and as a lover, but she’d always felt like something was missing. Besides, she knew Abby wanted her. Their nights together were far from cold and quiet, but still, Raven felt like she needed more than that. She didn’t just want to feel loved either; she specifically wanted Abby to love her, like the ‘run blindly into a burning building’ kind of love, an ‘ends of the Earth’ kind of love. Abby was everything Raven could want, more than anything she could have ever hoped for really. She was kind and gentle, and passionate and steady, and nurturing and beautiful, god… so… beautiful, but there was still a nagging voice in the back of Raven’s mind that told her she just wasn’t good enough for Abby to love.

Shaking herself out of that negativity, Raven tried to focus on unloading the box of cleaning supplies instead. In the bottom, she found her wall-patching supplies tucked away; a putty knife, some spackle and sandpaper. There were a couple of pieces of drywall mesh underneath that too, and she rolled her eyes as she remembered how she’d ended up buying them. The hardware store clerk, James, she thought his name was, had seemed so excited by the prospect of helping her, that Raven hadn’t had the heart to tell him she didn’t think she would need them. If she’d been trying to fix a leaky sink or rewire an electrical outlet, she wouldn’t have even thought about asking for his help in the first place, but patching drywall wasn’t something she’d ever done before, so she had actually asked for his help.

That was something she was working on actually; asking for help when she needed it. She and Abby had already had a few ‘discussions’ about it, and James had seemed nice enough when he greeted her too, so she’d gone for it when he’d offered to help her find the things she needed. At one point, she was pretty sure he’d been hitting on her, but she was thankful when that hadn’t gone beyond a grin and a couple of compliments. As he’d shown her around the store, he chattered away about the benefits of drywall over plaster walls. Raven hadn’t been especially interested, but he seemed like he just liked helping people fix things, so she let him prattle on, interjecting comments and questions when she thought she had something intelligent to say. When they’d come to the mesh patches, she’d noticed that they weren’t expensive and figured that if she didn’t use them for fixing the drywall, she could always stash them away and find some other use for them later. She’d already scoped out a corner of the basement to set up a workbench anyway. It would be a little inconvenient, being in the basement and all, but at least if something she was working on threw off sparks, the cement-block walls weren’t as flammable as drywall.

Trying to focus on the task at hand once again, Raven finally opened up the spackle and quickly slathered it onto the walls anywhere there was a hole. She tried to keep it as thin and even as she could, remembering that she would have to sand it flat after it dried, but she tried to not let herself be too much of a perfectionist about it either. When she finished up, she looked around the room, and she couldn’t do anything but revel in all the memories she had in this apartment; from her first night all alone, sprawled out in the floor with a blanket and pillow and not much else, to now, patching holes in the walls because she had made the room her home.

A voice called out behind her, “So, this is it, then?” and when Raven turned, she found Clarke standing in her doorway, a wide smirk on her face. She was a little shocked by Clarke’s sudden interruption into her space and her thoughts, but simply nodded, turning back to her supplies to pack up the leftover spackle and the putty knife. Clarke didn’t say anything else either, just stood in the doorway and watched her.

After a few moments of sort of uncomfortable silence Raven turned back to find an utterly conflicted look on her friend’s face. “Out with it, Clarke. You’ve got something face,” Raven said bluntly, before turning to the garbage bags stacked up in the corner, intent on tying up the full ones so they would be ready to take out when she was ready to leave. As a bonus, she figured it might be easier for Clarke to say whatever she needed to say if she wasn’t looking at her.

Even with turning away, Raven wondered if Clarke was going to have the courage to say whatever she was on her mind, but eventually Clarke’s unsteady voice called out behind her again, “Rae, I- I know this isn’t really my business, but-”

Unable to help herself, Raven cackled a little and interrupted, murmuring, “Yeah, like that’s stopped you before…” She didn’t think her comment was too inflammatory; it was something she’d said to Clarke dozens of times before, but when she faced Clarke again, she found a flabbergasted, and irritated, look on Clarke’s face. She thought about cowering away, taking her teasing tone with her, but then Clarke’s features turned soft again only a moment later. The smile that followed was sad though, and Raven just wanted to comfort her friend then. She still didn’t have any idea what Clarke was thinking, but whatever it was, was obviously deep and she frowned slightly, regretting her snide comment.

However, Clarke didn’t let her flounder there for long, finally blurting out, “Are— Are you and my mom talking about having kids?”

While Raven had been expecting something intense and important, at least to Clarke, she definitely had not been expecting that and immediately sputtered, “S-Sh-Shit, Clarke! I-I—”

Clarke just continued on though, and Raven cut herself off to listen as her friend powered through, “I mean, if you are, that’s ok. I just— Has Mom— Has she talked to you about it? ‘Cause if not, there are a few things you should know.”

When Clarke’s eyes fixed on the floor between them, Raven knew exactly what Clarke meant, and she quickly hobbled across the small room to be at her friend’s side. “Clarke, it’s ok. We’ve talked about it. I know about… about Jake Jr. and Joe,” Raven said softly, reaching out to take one of Clarke’s hands, grateful when Clarke allowed it. Clarke finally looked up at her then, and there were tears streaming down her face. Reaching up to swipe the runny tears away from Clarke’s face, Raven asked gently, “Clarke, it’s ok… you can tell me when you’re ready ok?”

A couple of deep breaths later, Clarke began, “It— it’s just that Mom always wanted a big family, or at least, more than one child and… and…” but Raven nearly choked right along with her when Clarke’s next words shriveled up on their way out. After that, Raven would call the rest of their conversation a ‘catastrophic failure.’ Clarke sniffled and cried and sobbed, muttering incoherently to herself the whole time. Raven just held her through it though, knowing that Clarke needed to cry herself out a little bit. She had enough experience with Upset Clarke to know that when Clarke got like this, there was nothing she could do but just ride it out. Raven smiled though, thinking about all the times she had been the one to hold Clarke together until she was done. That was exactly what Raven did too, just scooped her arms around Clarke’s waist and held her, for as long as it took.

Eventually, Clarke’s breathing started to slow, and the flow of tears ebbed too, but still, they just stood there together in the doorway to her old room; Raven’s arms around Clarke’s waist, Clarke sniffling into her neck. It hadn’t taken long for Raven’s hip to start protesting the added weight of Clarke leaning against her, but she’d pushed through it. Her hip was screaming then though, and even if she didn’t want to break the moment, Raven needed to move before she ended up actually hurting herself. Pressing her cheek to the top of Clarke’s head, she whispered gingerly, “You think you’re ok to talk about it now?” Clarke nodded against her shoulder, so Raven, stifling a wince, added, “Wanna go to the living room? I think we should sit down...”

Clarke laughed a little and pulled away, but Raven couldn’t hide her wince that time, as her weight settled over her bad hip for a moment. Clarke’s laugh dried up quickly as she blurted out, “Jesus, Raven, why didn’t you say something? Here I am crying all over you while you’re obviously in pain? Ugh, come on, stubborn, let’s go.” Clarke pushed her arm in under Raven’s shoulder and began easing her down the hall towards the living room. For once, Raven didn’t even think about protesting the help.

When they were finally settled in next to each other on the couch, Raven wasn’t sure what to say, but luckily Clarke was ready and jumped right in, saying, “Rae, I— I always wanted a little brother or sister, and while I did manage to find some sisters eventually…” Clarke’s pause was accompanied by a poke at Raven’s ribs with her elbow, but it was only a second before Clarke continued, “I… I hated being the only child. I hated not having someone else to share things with as a kid. You know, like having a sibling meant I would always have a friend, always have someone to play with, or share secrets with, or argue with. I’m so envious of Octavia and Bellamy sometimes. I know they didn’t have it easy or anything, but they always had each other, and I— I’ve just never had that, and I always wanted it. I mean, is it even possible to miss something you never had in the first place?”

Raven just smiled and shook her head as Clarke ranted, happy that Clarke felt like she could share these things, could still talk to Raven like they were best friends. She guessed, despite whatever else they were to each other, they were still best friends, so she reached across and gripped Clarke’s hand tight and said, “Sure it is, Clarke. I’m glad I found some sisters too, but I was the total opposite growing up. I was always glad to be an only child… That way no one else had to suffer with me.”

The thinly veiled attempt at humor obviously didn’t help alleviate any of Clarke’s stress about the situation though, as Raven watched a tight grimace draw down the corners of her lips. “Yeah, I guess there’s that,” Clarke began again, her tone heavy and knowing, but after only another brief pause, she continued, “Anyway, it’s— it’s just scary, you know? The idea of having a kid… I mean, I saw you standing in there, all lit up and beaming… and I don’t know why, but I let myself imagine what you’d look like pregnant and then I got hit with a case of the ‘what-ifs.’ That’s what’s so scary, the what-ifs, like, what if the extra weight is too much for your leg and that causes a bunch of problems, or what if your body can’t handle the pregnancy and you l-lose the baby. I— I can’t even imagine what that would do to you, much less my mom… and I guess t-that’s what got me so upset just now, worrying about hypothetically-pregnant you, having a hypothetical miscarriage… I mean, that’s insane, right?”

Clarke’s rambling was a lot to take in, but still, Raven knew exactly where she was coming from; a miscarriage was something she was worried about too, but she had also decided that she wasn’t going to let that fear dictate her life. She just shook her head at the incredulous hint in Clarke’s voice, and squeezed Clarke’s hand again as she easily replied, “You’re not crazy, Clarke. I worry about that shit, too… but if bonding with your mom has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t spend the rest of my life worrying about what might happen. I just have to focus on what _is_ … I have to focus on enjoying what I have.” She let her words sink in for a second, before adding, “And… like I said, we’ve talked about having kids. When I first mentioned it, Abby acted like it was all up to me, but I knew there was something she wasn’t telling me. Then, when she told me about Jake Jr. and Joe… I don’t know, I guess that’s when I realized that we would definitely be having kids. There were no more ‘if’s,’ it was a matter of when.” Raven paused then, holding her breath, trying to think about how much more she should say. She and Abby hadn’t talked about the specifics of ‘when’ yet, but she had made an appointment to visit her gynecologist. She didn’t think there would be any harm in at least talking about having her implant removed, and what complications she might expect with her bad leg. When she’d made the appointment, she thought it would force her to talk to Abby about it too, but so far, she hadn’t managed to work up the courage. She knew she had to tell someone though, and with Clarke sitting right there, looking at her rather expectantly, Raven drew in a long breath, only to let it out in a hushed, “I already made an appointment to get my implant removed.”

 

~~~

 

Shocked wasn’t the right word for how Clarke felt; she was beyond shocked. She gasped as Raven’s words washed over her, sputtering out a choked, “WH-Wha—?” when she finally exhaled. She hadn’t even meant to start this conversation, but the second she had seen Raven, glowing in the afternoon light of her old room, Clarke had realized just how beautiful her friend would look pregnant. It wasn’t a way she had ever thought about Raven before, but that, combined with the realization that any children Raven would have would be her brothers or sisters, had quickly overwhelmed Clarke’s good sense. She had always, _always_ , wanted siblings. She remembered the day her mom and dad had sat her down and told her she was going to be a big sister. It was one of her earliest memories, and it was probably one of her happiest as well. Of course, it had become clouded by sadness, when her mom had lost the twins. Her opportunity to be that big sister had finally come around again though, even if it was about 20 years late, and she couldn’t keep from worrying that something would happen. Not only would she have to watch her mother go through the pain of losing a child again, but she’d have to watch Raven go through it as well. With Raven’s little revelation, those what-ifs came streaming right back to the front of her mind.

At least, they didn’t completely overwhelm her again, and Clarke managed to focus enough to listen as Raven explained, “Yeah, I made the appointment last week, for the Friday after next. I, uh, I haven’t managed to, uh…” Raven stumbled and hesitated, but Clarke could tell there was more Raven wanted, and _needed_ , to say. She just squeezed Raven’s hand, like Raven had done for her, hoping to remind Raven that she was there for her. She watched as Raven swallowed hard, preparing herself to speak again and Clarke just waited until Raven finally added, “I- I haven’t managed to work up the courage to tell Abby about the appointment yet, and I’m pretty sure my, uh, h-heat will come sometime shortly thereafter, like late the following week… maybe.”

Shaking her head, Clarke almost couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Of course, Emotionally- Stunted Raven would think that was a good idea; rushing her mom into making a decision, the same way Raven was trying to rush herself into telling Abby about the appointment. It made sense, sort of, but despite the appearance of logic, Clarke couldn’t help feeling like this may be one of the worst ideas Raven had ever had. Definitely worse than the time Raven had tried to ‘fix’ their broken toaster; the kitchen still smelled like burnt toast sometimes, especially in the heat of the summer. She could tell Raven was getting more and more tense as time went on though, and she eventually said, “Well, Rae. You just don’t know how to do things the easy way, do you?” Raven looked properly scolded, head hanging loosely with her chin resting against her chest, but that wasn’t really what Clarke had intended with her quippy remark, so she quickly added, “Look, I’m sure Mom will be thrilled, just as long as you actually tell her beforehand. Mark my words… you blindside her with this at the last minute and it will not be pretty.” It was a warning she hoped Raven would heed, because she knew that her mom would not be pleased if she were ambushed with information like this. To most people, Clarke was sure Abby seemed like she was taking her unexpected mating at an easy stride, but Clarke knew that, deep down, her mom’s inner control-freak was probably freaking out. Another blow, especially something this big, and her mom could crack.

When Raven groaned at her words, Clarke nearly rolled her eyes, but she kept herself in check until Raven finally replied, “I know, Clarke, I know… I really only called the doctor’s office for some information about getting it removed, like how long does it take to take it out, and how long before the drugs are out of my system? What I might expect if I were to get pregnant… you know with my leg… but when I tried to ask the nurse, she suggested, rather rudely, that I just make an appointment and talk it over with the doctor… I thought that if I actually had to go down there, that I might as well have them schedule enough time to take it out too. I figured if I decided to have it done, then there’d be time. If I didn’t, then I could just leave whenever I wanted, but I— I think I want it out... I mean, I want kids… When I imagine what they’re are gonna look like, they’re just so damn cute, Clarke. Little combinations of me and Abby; my hair but her eyes, or her hair and my skin. I just, I can’t wait to meet them, to love them, for your mom to love them… and love me, too.”

By the time she was finished speaking, Raven’s face had pinched up a little and her cheeks were flushed. Obviously, Raven hadn’t meant to say so much. Clarke thought she probably hadn’t ever said anything like that out loud before; maybe, hadn’t even admitted that need to herself before either. She thought about letting Raven squirm a little, but the tension in Raven’s neck was obvious too, extending down into her shoulders and arms. She decided to let Raven in on the secret; although, it didn’t seem like much of one to Clarke. Raven could be pretty dense when it came to her feelings though. With a smile, she simply said, “Raven, she already loves you.” Of course, Raven didn’t believe her right off, and Clarke shook her head slightly when Raven’s brow furrowed further. When she noticed that Raven’s frown had deepened too, she knew she couldn’t let this continue. Raven needed to know she was loved, so Clarke spelled it out for her, “I could see it that first night at Marco’s… I mean, I didn’t see it while we were there, cause, yeah, I kinda freaked, but after Anya calmed me down, I actually took the time to think about the two of you together. There’s something between you that can’t be argued, can’t be disputed. You’re connected in a way that I can barely even understand… The way she looked at you when you said that you were hers… Raven, I never saw her look at my dad like that, not once. What you two have is special, meant to be, just like me and Lexa, like Octavia and— and Anya.”

Before she had even finished, Raven was forcing herself into her arms, hugging herself tightly around Clarke’s middle. Clarke couldn’t help but smile though, throwing her arms around Raven as well when she heard Raven quietly whisper into her shoulder, “Clarke, I— You have no idea what that… I mean, thank you. Just… thanks.”

Giving Raven a squeeze of encouragement, Clarke’s smile widened as she replied, “I’m not saying anything that isn’t true here, Rae. Just… just talk to her about it, yeah? Like I said, she’s gonna be in to it, as long as you’re up front with her. Wait too long, and I make no guarantees.”

For a few moments, Raven didn’t reply, but Clarke figured that was good; Raven was absorbing her words, hopefully letting them bolster her courage. When Raven finally drew in a deep breath and pulled away from her shoulder, Clarke could tell that she was feeling at least a little better about the whole situation. “Ok. I… I’ll do it tonight, I guess,” Raven said then, sounding resigned, but far from defeated. Despite all the what-ifs still swirling around between them, Clarke felt hopeful too, like everything would work out the way it was supposed to, just as it had so far.

Her only problem was Raven’s timing. Obviously, someone had forgotten about their dinner plans, and even though Raven had plenty on her mind to distract her, Clarke couldn’t help teasing her about it, smirking as she said, “How about tomorrow night? I think you’re busy tonight…” All Raven offered her was a confused look, brow furrowed again, and Clarke laughed a little before she said, “Remember… I said I wanted to take everyone to dinner to celebrate Octavia’s win?”

To be honest, Clarke already felt like that two-hundred and fifty dollars was burning a hole in her pocket. If they didn’t go out that night, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to hold on to that money until they all got a chance to get together. There was a fancy set of charcoals she’d had her eyes on for months. She snapped out of those thoughts though, when Raven quickly said, “Oh, shit… Right, dinner, tonight, all six of us… I guess I sorta forgot…”

Rolling her eyes, Clarke figured Raven probably wasn’t the only one with a lot on her mind, and quickly said, “Ugh. I bet everybody else forgot, too… I’ll text O, and she can remind Anya… Can I leave reminding my mom up to you?” Raven nodded, her frown turning upside down, and Clarke smiled too. She’d thought about just texting her mom herself, but obviously, Raven welcomed the excuse to reach out instead. It was actually a little confusing why her mom wasn’t there with Raven, but she figured they didn’t have to go everywhere together. She and Raven both shifted then, fishing phones out of pockets, and that was when Clarke realized she’d forgotten something too. She needed to pee; had needed to since she’d first broken-down all-over Raven. Feeling that urgency return, she quickly extracted herself from the couch, ignoring Raven’s huff as she headed towards the bathroom. Just before she closed the door, she finally called out, “Stop being dramatic… I’ll be right back…”

Still perched on the toilet, Clarke decided to kill two birds with one stone, and sent off a quick text to Octavia, politely reminding her of their evening plans. She was debating on waiting for a response, when she heard movement in the hallway outside the bathroom door. She hustled to finish up then, quickly slipping her phone back into her pocket, before rushing through washing and drying her hands. She emerged from the bathroom just in time too, catching a cardboard box filled with cleaning supplies with her chest, just as Raven stumbled under the load. She pulled the box out of Raven’s grip, despite her friend’s protests, Raven indignantly claiming, “I coulda carried that, you know?”

Clarke just laughed at her friend’s haughty tone, knowing how much Raven hated appearing weak. Still, the way they’d always dealt with that in the past was harsh sarcasm and teasing, so she quickly said, “Yeah… I know you could have, gimpy, but can’t I just help you out every once in a while?”

For a half a second, Clarke thought Raven might actually be offended by the sort of insulting nickname, but she was relieved when Raven’s irritation seemed to fizzle out. She smiled when Raven finally grumbled, “Yeah, I guess you can, ‘mom friend.”

Mocking shock and annoyance, Clarke scoffed loudly as she quipped back, “Oh, I don’t think you wanna call me that anymore, Rae.”

Smiling even brighter, Clarke tittered when Raven crossed her arms over her chest and walked right into her next jibe, Raven scoffing herself as she replied, “Oh, yeah? And why’s that?”

“Cause you’re a mother fucker now… I wouldn’t want my mom to get the wrong idea about our friendship. She’s got quite the jealous streak, you know,” Clarke declared proudly, turning up the hallway towards the kitchen, giggling at the way she could practically hear Raven squirming behind her.

That squirming didn’t last long though, and by the time they reached the kitchen, Clarke felt almost nervous. Raven grew very quiet, and Clarke knew from experience that Raven was about to throw down the gauntlet. Still, she nearly choked when Raven finally said, “Oh yeah? Maybe I should tell Lexa about that time last year when you crawled into my bed, three sheets to the wind and naked as the day you were born?”

“Ugh. You wouldn’t dare!” Clarke shouted then, rounding on her friend, almost dropping the box of cleaning supplies herself when it pumped harshly into the side of the counter. When she saw the smirk on Raven’s lips though, she knew that her friend would never; that night was embarrassing enough for both of them, without bringing it up in front of anyone else. She took in deep breath to calm herself before she added, “Ok, truce. I’ll cool it on the mother fucker thing, if you cool it on the mom friend thing.”

The skeptical look on Raven’s face almost made her laugh, but when Raven asked, “Does that mean we have to stop calling O ‘kiddo,’ too?” Clarke couldn’t help it. A barking laugh slipped past her lips anyway. It was instantly contagious too, and before long, Raven was in stitches as well.

Eventually, after what felt like way too long to be laughing about something so silly, Clarke managed to catch her breath enough to reply, finally saying, “Never, Rae, never… Even long after you’ve got kids of your own… O will always be our kiddo.”


	34. The Pitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure this out, but for some reason, the tab function doesn't translate from Word very well (or, at all really), so I'll be going back through and fixing a couple of places where the margins got weird... It'll drive me crazy if I just leave it...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy Chapter 34... The next chapter will be the triple date :-)

Drifting back into consciousness, the first thing Anya noticed was how warm she was, like she was cocooned in it. That warmth was heavy too, and as she opened her eyes, she found Octavia’s still sleeping body resting on top of her own. It felt incredible; having the woman she loved, and that loved her back, so close. The way Octavia was draped over her was almost like some graceful yoga pose too. Her arms were thrown loosely over Anya’s shoulders; her head turned to the side with an ear pressed into Anya’s skin. Octavia’s knees and calves straddled her hips and thighs too, and for the briefest of moments, Anya wondered how Octavia was going to walk after having her knees bent for so long. With nearly all of Octavia’s weight was resting on top of her though, at least Octavia’s joints were getting a little relief. Anya wasn’t going to complain; she was comfortable as well, but when she heard her phone vibrate on the nightstand, she knew she was about to be uncomfortable. She didn’t want to wake Octavia up, her omega seemed so peaceful, but she knew there was no way she was reaching her phone with Octavia sprawled onto top of her.

Knowing that didn’t stop Anya from trying anyway though. She sighed as she reached for it; her fingers to barely brush the edge of the nightstand. She figured she wouldn’t have to move far to be able to grab it. She just needed to move a little bit at a time and try not to jostle Octavia too much. Maybe, just maybe, she could get it and not wake Octavia up in the process. First, she scooched her butt over, taking Octavia with her. When that didn’t get a reaction, she moved her shoulders to match. Again, Octavia didn’t stir, so Anya squirmed again, inching her way towards the edge of the bed. When she reached out then, she could get just one finger onto her phone. Pushing down on the corner, she managed to slide it to the edge of the nightstand, until she could get ahold of it with her whole hand. When she finally brought the phone up in front of her face, a text notification was there waiting for her. It was from her union rep at work, and so she quickly unlocked the phone to get to the full message. It read, ‘Emergency Protocol Orange- Any available security staff report to C. Byrne for immediate assignment.’ That drove her heartrate through the roof, but when she checked the time stamp, she quickly realized it was probably too late for her to actually report in for the emergency.

Four hours was the general expiration for an ‘all-call’ like a Code Orange, and when she looked up at the actual time, she realized it had been almost six since it had been issued. Still, Anya felt obligated to respond in some way. She clicked over to a new message, and sent off a quick text to Byrne, simply saying, ‘Just saw the all-call, do you still need more hands?’ She didn’t have to wait long for her boss to reply either; a dry, ‘Your presence won’t be necessary,’ popping up only a minute later. ‘At least, she can’t fire me for missing an all-call,’ Anya thought as she pushed her phone back up onto the nightstand. That proved to be a mistake though, because what she should have been thinking about, was not waking Octavia. A sudden grunt vibrated against her chest, followed by Octavia’s weight slumping even harder into her body. Anya grimaced at the sound, knowing that Octavia had had a big day the day before, and then a really big night after that. Honestly, they’d both had a big night; between the stress of the fight and Tristan’s persistence, Anya had felt wrung out before they’d even made it to the car.

That car ride home though; Anya was pretty sure she would remember that twenty minutes for the rest of her life. Just thinking about it had her feeling hot all over again, remembering how Octavia had absolutely gushed into her mouth when she finally came. The sensation had been so arousing that Anya had nearly come right along with her. Anya figured that after an orgasm like that one, Octavia deserved to sleep as long as she wanted. Somewhere in their shifting, Anya had managed to get uncomfortable though. When she tried to settle into the mattress again, she felt Octavia’s damp center press against the top of her mound. She managed to bite back the groan that that sort of contact demanded, but still-sleeping Octavia didn’t have that kind of control, her next grunt coming out much more like a moan. That sound did things to Anya, and even though she tried not to, her hips twitched, bucking into Octavia core. The action caused her mound to roll against Octavia’s cleft again, and another husky moan huffed out against Anya’s chest.

It was just that one thrust, just one roll of her hips, but it seemed like it was more than enough to get Octavia going, even in her sleep. All Anya could do was lay there as Octavia began to move back and forth against her; eventually, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from moaning at the feeling of Octavia’s slick coating the skin below her navel. It wasn’t long before Anya couldn’t help but move with her too, the little breathy moans escaping from Octavia’s slightly parted lips, driving her into action. A part of her couldn’t believe she was doing something like this; it almost felt like violating some unspoken rule, but as Octavia’s moans increased in intensity, her own arousal swelled as well. On one particularly well-placed grind, Octavia’s clit actually caught against her own and Anya nearly cried out at the slick friction. The contact seemed to do wonders for Octavia too, and Anya could feel her chasing the sensation, grinding down again and again, searching for the edge.

It was only a few moments before Anya’s own orgasm snuck up on her, drawing all her muscles tight in a sweet moment of bliss. She sighed into it, letting it take her, as she felt Octavia’s body quiver through release as well. It wasn’t anything magnificent; it didn’t seem to go on forever or anything equally as poetic as that, but it was unexpected and that made it all the much more pleasant. She was sure it wasn’t something she could have slept through, but it seemed that Octavia certainly had, her twitching muscles eventually calming until her breathing was slow and even once more. Anya almost laughed when Octavia went deep enough to snore; each lungful of air puffed out, hot and steaming, against Anya’s slightly sweat-slicked skin.

Just lying there with Octavia, basking in the afterglow, Anya couldn’t help but think back to the night before again; the way she had toyed with Octavia, the way she had pushed Octavia’s limits. It wasn’t the first time she had pushed Octavia’s limits either, like the night she’d bent Octavia over the couch and spanked her, or that first night in Skai’s The Limit’s locker room. She realized that, despite all the things they had done, all the ways she had opened, and closed, Octavia’s eyes, they still hadn’t discussed things like boundaries and expectations. Obviously, Anya hadn’t ever been with someone long enough to have in depth discussions about those sorts of things, but she did know a thing or two about exploring other people’s desires. With her more causal partners in the past, she’d used the color system; Green for go, Yellow for slow down, and Red for stop. It was simple and easy to adhere to, a straightforward call and response structure, but for some reason, she was nervous about even bringing that up with Octavia. She worried that it might define things too much, that it would inevitably take away some of the excitement.

From what Octavia had told her, she didn’t have much, if any, experience with sex, and Anya couldn’t help wondering if Octavia even knew if she had any hard boundaries. Surely there were things Octavia wasn’t willing to even try, even if Anya hadn’t found them yet. Despite Octavia having exceeded her expectations thus far, at least as far as their deeper discussions were concerned, she worried Octavia would be uncomfortable openly discussing things like pain play and restraints and toys. It would be an awkward conversation, that was sure, but Anya knew if they were going to continue exploring their power dynamic, or venture further into things like sexual punishment and denial, they were going to have to talk about it, all of it. She wouldn’t risk hurting Octavia, or even making her uneasy, just because they hadn’t talked about the things they were doing beforehand.

Consent was key, and Anya couldn’t believe she hadn’t forced some sort of discussion before she’d let things get as far as they’d gone. When she thought back, recalling each time she’d pushed Octavia’s limits, she found that she could clearly remember the moment Octavia had asked for it, whatever it was, at the time. For example, the night in the gym’s showers, she could remember the way Octavia had pressed into her grip, had asked Anya to take control with her deliberate choice in posture, even if she hadn’t said it out loud. When she thought about the night she’d bent Octavia over the couch and spanked her, Anya remembered how Octavia had set every parameter of that encounter too, asking for it with her words and her body. Octavia had even gone so far as to set a limit on how many licks she thought she could take. Anya had toyed with her a little both times, and had definitely pushed her own limits, as well as Octavia’s, on their car ride home from the fight, but she didn’t think she’d done anything that had actually upset Octavia.

Without talking about it though, she really couldn’t be sure. She wasn’t even sure Octavia would approach her if she had done or said something out of line, and that was a situation Anya needed to rectify. That was why they needed rules, needed protocols so to speak, especially if they were going to keep going down the path they were on. One day, maybe years down the road, maybe next week, Anya was sure she would find some way Octavia didn’t like to be touched. Either that, or Anya would simply push her too hard, and that, at least to Anya, was unacceptable. They needed a system in place, so they never got that far, so that she never pushed Octavia away, because now that she knew what it felt like to be loved, to be in love, she never wanted that feeling to end. It had been hard for her to admit it at first, but when she’d scooped Octavia up into her arms the night before, she couldn’t help the way those three words had slipped from her lips. She’d never said that to anyone other than her father, and maybe Lexa once or twice, but she knew instantly she had never said anything truer in her life. She did love Octavia, with everything she had. She loved her enthusiasm and her youthfulness, her perseverance and her fighting spirit, her intelligence and her innocence. Anya loved her voice and her smell and her body too, but those things seemed almost secondary to how she felt about Octavia as a person. She was strong, so strong, both in and out of the cage, and Anya realized she couldn’t have asked for a better match for herself. She just needed to make sure they got on the same page when it came to how far they were both willing to go in search of pleasure. With some of the things Anya had imagined saying and doing to Octavia, they definitely needed to discuss those things first. As safe words and color systems and possibilities drifted through her head, Anya was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn’t even realize it when Octavia finally began to stir against her chest.

 

~~~

 

_The thumping surf was so loud the sound rang in her ears. Hot wind rushed against her skin, making sweat crop up at the nape of her neck. A storm was coming. Dark clouds swirled overhead, charged with heat and plasma. The energy of it all made her skin tingle, like she needed that first release of pressure too. The wind picked up, blowing even more heat against her skin, the spray from the ocean making her feel wet all over. It hadn’t even started raining yet, but from the look of those clouds, it certainly would rain soon. She squirmed, thinking of leaving the beach, but then the ocean groaned, almost as if it didn’t want her to leave. Glancing out over the water, she watched as the waves rose higher and higher, static occasionally stinging its surface, egging it on. She felt every shock, lighting her up as well, making her buck and pitch as the loose energy coursed through her. When the first wave actually crashed over her, she thought that she wouldn’t be able to actually breath through the force, but soon, the wind carried the weight away, leaving her feeling free and alive. The surf rushed against her skin then, soaking her in salty wetness. It was comforting instead of uncomfortable, familiar in a way she couldn’t quite describe, and she allowed it to move her, to lift her up. At the peak of the storm, she could swear she felt every electron sing against her skin; clouds rolling, winds rushing, waves thumping. The ocean itself groaned and sighed, quickly reaching such a crescendo that when it all stopped, she stopped right along with it. It was like hovering on the precipice, all that mattered was the rise and fall of her own breathing. A moment later, the sounds and sensations all returned; some faster, some slower, some louder, some softer, but all there just the same. She followed them and chased them, enjoyed them and released them, and in the end, she felt release as well._

 

~~~

 

Stretching her limbs, Octavia felt every sore joint and tender bruise, and she couldn’t help but groan. Her knees felt the stiffest, but her shoulders were a close second, and she was sure there was a huge bruise on her side, the skin there feeling tight and swollen. She shifted to try to alleviate some of the tension, only for the bed to hiss beneath her. Of course, she was curled up on top of Anya; it was how she’d woken up several times of the last few weeks, but she cursed her cuddly nature as she felt her knees creak and her shoulders pop. Anya’s hiss tickled against the skin of her neck too, and the sensation brought some sort of sense memory to the surface. She’d been dreaming before she’d woken up, but she couldn’t remember much about it. There were waves, maybe, or a storm; she couldn’t be quite sure. Anya’s voice eventually broke her from her thoughts, the husky tone sounding just as strained as her taut muscles, as Anya said, “You ok?”

Swallowing quickly, trying to help her own dry throat, Octavia nodded against Anya’s chest, as she replied, “Y-yeah, just… just sore, I guess.” Despite her best efforts, her voice still sounded just as rough as Anya’s had; it could have been from sleep, but she had a feeling that all the strangled moans and screams for the night before hadn’t helped. Either way, she didn’t care, especially as she remembered the events in the car on their way home the night before. The images were so vivid, she could almost feel Anya’s mouth moving against her. In a matter of seconds, she had gone from sleepy and sore, to awake and horny, and she smiled at the thought of getting to experience Alpha Anya again so soon. That thought had her squirming too, and she quickly realized she was still wet from the night before. With the heat rushing under her skin, she thought it might have been a more recent occurrence too, but again, she didn’t care either way. All that mattered was the desire she could feel stirring inside her, making her throb, aching for Anya’s touch.

As soft fingers brushed against her cheek though, she tried to let the sweeping gesture cool her down a little, and she sighed as a few stray hairs were pushed back from her face. She leaned eagerly into the warmth as Anya’s palm as it cupped her jaw. She easily moved with the pressure she felt placed there too, allowing Anya to pull her up in for the most tender of ‘good morning’ kisses. When their lips finally parted, Octavia snuggled back against Anya’s chest again, whirring as Anya whispered into her hair, “I love you… even though you snore.”

Totally shocked and a little peeved, Octavia quickly pulled out of Anya’s arms, groaning at her body’s protests even as she slapped playfully at Anya’s shoulder. Sitting up on her knees, she could see the wicked little smirk on Anya’s face though, and quickly knew Anya was only teasing her, but that didn’t help her hold her tongue as she spat, “I. Do. Not.”

Expecting Anya to make some lewd joke about how she must have really worn Octavia out, Octavia almost missed it when Anya said seriously, “Yes, you do… Earlier, after we… I mean, you snore, let’s just leave it at that.”

‘After we… what?’ Octavia thought, as she stared down at Anya then. Just that little hint of hesitation was enough to ger her interest peaked, and she knew she had to figure out how to get the rest of the story out of Anya. It was obviously something that made Anya nervous, and she hoped maybe a little tease would distract Anya to spill her secret. She pushed herself up again, bracing her hands against Anya’s shoulders that time. Anya’s hands immediately found her hips, fingers digging in, and Octavia moaned as she clenched her thighs tighter around Anya’s hipbones and rocked her own hips forward. She delighted in the choked groan that wrenched its way out of Anya’s throat, knowing that she’d just smeared wetness all over the skin below Anya’s navel. She rocked down again, bringing her body down over Anya’s then, leaning all the way down to whisper against Anya’s lips, “earlier, after we…’ what, Anya?”

A long, almost stilted silence followed, and Octavia worried that whatever had happened actually bothered Anya. She couldn’t really think of anything Anya could have done to her in her sleep that she’d object to, but still, her worries grew deeper the longer the silence went on. Anya didn’t seem that tense though, if anything she seemed embarrassed. Maybe, she just needed a little more encouragement, a little reassurance, so Octavia decided to up the ante. She arched up again, sliding against Anya’s body as she went, dragging her core over Anya’s skin once more. When she reached Anya’s belly button, she tipped up onto her shins, allowing herself to hover just inches away. As she held herself there, she felt her slick still clinging between them. She could feel it running down the inside of one of her thighs too, but she quickly pushed past how needy she was becoming. She _needed_ to know; Anya had started something that she didn’t know how to stop. The tease seemed to be the right choice too; the denial quickly drawing the story from Anya’s lips. She almost seemed desperate for it to come out, her words rushing as she mumbled, “Ear-earlier, I was trying to get my phone, but uh, I was trying not to wake you up either. Maybe I was squirming too much, but you were just, on top of me and then you were grinding on top of me. I— I knew you were still asleep, so I tried to not get involved but then you w-were ma-making all those c-cute l-l-little noi—SES!”

Octavia’s thighs were trembling before Anya had even started talking, and by the time Anya had gotten to ‘grinding on top of me’ Octavia was already desperately close to doing just that. Of course, where Anya had been chivalrous and tried to resist her, Octavia knew she didn’t have that kind of willpower. The image of grinding against Anya was too much for her and she quickly dropped onto Anya’s stomach then, her breath hitching in a little hiccupped moan at the sudden contact. Her hips rocked down of their own accord then, and she sighed as she felt more of her slick smear over Anya’s skin. She wanted to hear the rest of the story though. ‘How far did we go?’ she wondered then, her thoughts slipping through her lips too as she choked out, “keep… going… tell me what happened next…”

For a moment, Anya only groaned at the command, but then Octavia felt Anya’s fingers twitch against her hips. The grip was commanding too, and she allowed herself to sink into the harsh rhythm Anya was trying to set for her, moving back and forth just enough to really zero in on one of Anya’s tense ab muscles. The little bump provided almost more stimulation than Octavia could handle at the moment, but luckily Anya’s voice filtered up to her ears then, distracting her from the orgasm she could already feel building inside her. “I— I couldn’t help myself. You were just so… fucking… sexy… grinding down against my abs, hips wandering lower and lower each time. When you started catching against me, I lost it. I was c-coming before I even realized it was happening… I couldn’t hold it back, even when you were asleep the wh-hole t-t-time.”

The regret she could hear in Anya’s voice then, almost made Octavia pull away again, but she knew how Anya would read into that that kind of reaction. Anya would think she was upset or hurt; she would read it as rejection, so instead Octavia leaned back and drove her hips down hard against Anya’s stomach. Another choked moan clawed its way up her throat, and she didn’t hesitate to let it out. The thought of being too much for Anya to handle forced her hips down again and she nearly screamed when she felt her sex collide with hot, stiff flesh. She could feel Anya’s clit throbbing against her, begging her for more friction, but she couldn’t resist teasing as she whispered against Anya’s lips again, “you mean… like this?”

“Yessss…” was all she heard from Anya after that; well, all that was a word anyway. She didn’t think the gasping, wanton moans that fell from Anya’s mouth then could be counted as words. Skin rocked against skin, slick versus slick, and Octavia groaned as Anya’s hands grasped harder at her hips, helping her establish a rhythm once again. She panted as her clit dragged against Anya’s, over and over again. The friction was just right, and she was so close, but it wasn’t until she heard Anya gasp out the rest of the story, that Octavia finally let herself fall apart. She was sure she’d drown Anya when she heard, “Af-after… You were so still, so content… I— I loved it… I… love… you…” That was what did it; the love in Anya’s voice finally tipped Octavia over the edge. Anya’s hands didn’t stop pulling against her hips either and it wasn’t long before she was gasping her way through another, stronger orgasm.

Anya’s love crawled under her skin then, warmed her blood to the point of boiling; drawing her muscles up oh-so-tight, only to release them all at once again a moment later. She relished in it, amazed that Anya could be so tender and so desperate in the same breath. She wasn’t surprised when her successive orgasms left her feeling lax and lazy, but she was surprised when Anya continued to pull her hips back and forth, if only at a slower, softer pace. When she heard Anya’s voice again, she shivered as Anya purred into her ear, “Actually, come to think of it… you fell asleep in the car last night too. I hope that’s not a negative reflection of my performance… I would hate to think I was boring you.”

Octavia groaned, both at the words and at the way Anya inched her upwards, until her sex settled over the hard muscles of Anya’s stomach again. She felt so sensitive she almost came the second her sex rolled over Anya’s navel the first time. The light suction that dip caused, had her arching and gasping, rocketing towards the edge all over again. Of course, Anya could read her well too, choosing that position to pick up the pace again. Before Octavia knew it, she was crying out against Anya’s chest, one of Anya’s hands trailing down to dip in between their bodies. It only took a few strokes over Anya’s ridged fingers before the stars themselves exploded behind Octavia’s eyes. She screwed them shut in concentration though, trying to keep herself from right exploding along with them. She was sore and sticky, but she really didn’t want that moment to ever end. It felt almost too good though, and when she heard Anya’s soft voice against her ear again, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Not when Anya all but begged her, “Come, Octavia, please… Please…”

The second she let go, she felt Anya arch underneath her too, shivering through an orgasm of her own. Even in the throes, Anya kept her stomach pressed up in between Octavia’s thighs, cradling her quivering sex with her own trembling abs. It felt incredible having Anya pressed up against like that too, riding out their high together. All too soon, Octavia felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over her though and she couldn’t fight it as she slumped down on top of Anya, spent beyond belief. It was a long time before she felt like she could do anything other than lay there, and even still, she was panting when she finally huffed out, “S-shit, Anya, am I ever going to get tired of just riding you? I mean… really… that was ridiculous.”

Obviously still trying to catch her own breath, it was a few seconds before Octavia heard Anya cough out, “Well, y-you haven’t fallen asleep again, yet, s-so we’ll see.” The salty tone made Octavia bristle, but when Anya straight-up winked at her, she could only offer a soft growl in response. Their sweet, teasing moment was interrupted, of course, as there was a sudden buzzing from somewhere across the room. It was annoying, and mostly, Octavia just wanted it to stop, but she quickly realized she couldn’t just will it to. When she heard Anya murmur, “That must be yours,” she ever-so-reluctantly disengaged herself from Anya. Her joints protested, and the sore muscles in her shoulders contracted harshly again, forcing her bite down on a groan as she tried to get up off the bed. It wasn’t the good kind of groaning she’d been doing only a few minutes before either. It took her a second to find her legs, but when she was finally standing upright, she glanced around the room, looking for her clothes. When she didn’t see her usual pile in the corner, she looked back to Anya, curious what she had done with her clothes. Anya had a fond look on her face, her arm outstretched towards her dresser. The words, “Bottom drawer,” reached Octavia’s ears as she turned towards the dresser and she quickly hustled over to it, suddenly very interested.

Inside, were her leggings, tank top and hoodie from night before, as well as one of her favorite things of Anya’s to steal to wear around the apartment in the morning; a long-sleeved button-down. Her underwear seemed to be missing, but she figured Anya had probably thrown them in with the wash. It was possible Anya had just thrown them out instead; they were ruined, anyway. She didn’t have time to think about what her things being in Anya’s dresser really meant though, as her phone buzzed again, from somewhere inside the drawer. She pulled Anya’s the button-down out, and found her phone and keys tucked away in the corner.

A text notification popped up immediately; the banner indicating it was from Clarke. ‘Are we still on for dinner tonight? Meet at the restaurant at 8?’ came up on the screen once she got it unlocked. Confused, Octavia sent back a simple ‘Huh?’ as a response, hoping would Clarke would elaborate, and soon. After a couple of seconds of waiting, she realized she was being silly; why wait, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, when she could just wait in bed, with Anya.

Anya was waiting for her too, propped up against the headboard like a ‘husband’ pillow, arms and legs stretched out to her sides. Her chest looked like a very inviting place for Octavia to cuddle up, and who was Octavia to resist such as enticing offer, quickly climbing onto the bed in between Anya’s thighs and curling up in her lap. When Anya’s arms wrapped around her, she almost forgot she had even gotten up, until she heard Anya whisper, “Everything ok?”

Nodding against Anya’s chest, Octavia sank deeper into Anya’s arms as she replied, “It was Clarke… asking me about dinner plans that I don’t even remember making.”

Feeling Anya grow tense underneath her, was not the reaction Octavia was expecting, and she tensed as well, only to relax when Anya quickly explained herself, “Shit… Sorry, I kinda forgot… I _must_ have gotten _distracted_ somehow… Anyway, I was supposed to tell you that Clarke wants to take everyone out to dinner tonight. Apparently, she won two hundred and fifty bucks on your fight last night and thought we could use her winnings to celebrate.”

For just a moment, Octavia was steaming, fuming mad. She couldn’t believe Clarke had actually bet money on her. They’d talked about it, joked about it even, and yet Clarke hadn’t said anything. It was just the type of thing Clarke would do though, place some low money bet at decent odds and make out good when Octavia won. She figured Clarke wouldn’t have ever even mentioned it if she had lost the fight; another very-Clarke thing to do. The fact that Clarke was offering to share her winnings helped mitigate some of Octavia’s anger though, and she figured it would feel good to have a drink and eat a meal on Clarke’s dime. She texted Clarke to that effect too, whipping out her phone and typing in, ‘I hope you know how lucky you are… If I wasn’t so tired from too many orgasms, I’d probably be mad right now, but since I won and you’re buying, I think I’d like a beer and a burger the size of my head.’ She hoped her ‘too many orgasms’ comment wasn’t too much, but when she heard Anya chuckle behind her, obviously reading over her shoulder, she figured it was just enough and sent the message on without another thought. She sank back down into Anya’s lap again, thinking of tossing her phone off to the side; that is, until it vibrated in her hand. When Clarke’s new message popped up, she couldn’t help but smile, reading the long line of ‘EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW’ first. When she got over the eye strain of all those capitals, she saw the ‘But whatever, good for you…’ demurely perched underneath. It was only another second before her phone buzzed again; another message coming in. It read, ‘Anyway, how about AliA at 8? You know, that place Raven took us to for my birthday last year?’ Octavia remembered the place; she also remembered that none of the three of them had a single negative thing to say about the whole experience. She shot back a quick, ‘Great, see you at 8!’ and then did toss her phone to the side, only for it to immediately go off again. She scrambled to scoop it up again, growling slightly, but when she saw it was a message from Echo, not Clarke, she swallowed harshly before she opened it. She knew why Echo was texting her the second she saw the name pop up, but she wasn’t really prepared for the text to feel so cutting.

It wasn’t like the words were especially harsh or anything either, just, ‘So, will we be seeing you at 4 for your appointment with Dr. Laurio or not? I figured it being quarter of, you’d be here by now. Maybe you’re sleeping in?’ Octavia couldn’t help feeling embarrassed though, Echo’s knowing tone, echoing through the message. She shot back the quickest of responses, ‘I’ll be there, soon,’ only sparing a second to make sure everything was typed in right before sending it. She looked up at Anya then, and finding that smirking face already staring down at her, she shivered. Anya’s eyebrows raised, and then fell a little at the movement, but before Octavia could say anything, Anya was shuffling her out of the bed and heading towards the bathroom. Octavia watched her the whole way there, until Anya paused in the doorway, and turned back to say, “Come on, babe. Let’s shower real quick and then I’ll drive you wherever you need to go, ok?” Octavia wasn’t about to turn down an invitation like that one.

 

~~~

 

When Clarke left for her apartment, Lexa almost didn’t know what to do with herself. They had been spending so much time together that she had almost forgotten how to be alone with nothing to do. She decided to use the time wisely, tucking herself away in her studio for a couple of hours to work on the new mixes Titus had requested. He had been bugging her about it since her first week back, claiming the mixes she was giving him were too dark, and that the people who came in on the off nights didn’t like it. She figured that made sense, the customers he had on Sunday nights, and subsequently, Monday and Tuesday nights, were different from the club kids and the college students of the weekends. They were working people, probably just wanting a drink after work; they were people who didn’t really go for synthesized sounds and thumping bass. They were people who didn’t even really listen to the music but wanted to complain about it anyway. Lexa couldn’t hold that against those people though, because while she couldn’t imagine her life without her music, she was sure those people who were simply passionate about other things. Clarke always seemed to enjoy her music, but she was definitely more passionate about art. Abby and Raven both seemed to enjoy science as a profession and as a hobby, and Anya and Octavia were both into physical fitness.

Sometimes, it was hard for her to remember that not everyone loved the things she loved. It seemed like they all had fun together the night before though, even if Abby seemed a little put off by the whole thing. When she’d left the club Friday night, Titus had been none-too-happy about it either. That was probably because Lexa had pretty much forced him to give her the night off for Octavia’s fight. She was sure he wouldn’t be over it when she met with him later that day, but there was nothing she could do about that now. She had enjoyed watching Octavia fight; it had felt so exhilarating, watching Octavia struggle and win, but she dreaded having to walk into Polaris and face Titus’ surely-sour expression. She knew what the crowd wanted though, had always seemed to know, and she knew that her idea to move the dance rooms around, at least for one night a month, was a good one. The regular crowd would welcome any sort of break-up in the monotony of club life. She knew from experience that hearing the exact same songs every week got tedious. Moving 80’s music into the main room would draw in new people too, and that was exactly what Titus needed, new customers. If they came and had a good time on a theme night, then maybe they would come back on a regular night. Maybe they’d even bring their friends. That was really what Titus needed, what Polaris needed; repeat customers. She had other ideas about how to get people back in the club, but the theme night was the only one she had managed to actually convince Titus to try.

Putting Titus’ dry smile and pouting expression out of her mind, she tried to concentrate on what she was doing instead, focusing on the flow, adding slower beats to a new mix. It definitely wasn’t what she was used to spinning, but as she listened through the transitions in the first mix she made, she found the more measured beats sort of comforting. It reminded her of listening to Clarke’s heartbeat when she was asleep, lulling Lexa into a sense of security that was anything but false. It didn’t take much from there for her to pound her way through two more mixes. After what was probably three straight hours of matching beats and sliding from one into the next, Lexa realized the slower stuff was actually easier to mix too. It wasn’t like she imagined doing this all the time, the club beat was still calling to her, but she figured if it was going to be this easy to set up the mixes the way Titus wanted, then she really didn’t have a problem doing it.

Thinking of Titus again brought a little bile back to her throat though, because she knew she would never be able to tell him that. She knew he would use information like that to manipulate her. It was something he was very good at, but Lexa wasn’t going to let that happen again. She wasn’t that naïve twenty-one-year-old kid who needed his money anymore; she was an adult, with money and a career of her own. She was only at Polaris for the crowd anyway, not for him. Well, that was what she told herself, but in the back of her mind, she knew that wasn’t entirely true. She did feel like she owed him something, at least, for giving her her start, but she also felt like he would try to take anything she would give too. It was a delicate balance, giving him what he needed, without giving herself over to his demands in the process.

Glancing at the clock, she realized she was running short on time before their meeting, and quickly finished up what she was working on and then set the new mixes up to finalize as new tracks. She rushed off to the shower then, but again, she felt sort of strange showering alone. That was something she and Clarke liked to do together; mostly because one of them usually ended up on their knees before they were done. Obviously, that wasn’t the case that morning. Clarke had gotten up earlier than Lexa had, had actually showered before she had even woken Lexa up. Lexa couldn’t really complain though, not when Clarke woke her up the way she did, anyway; still naked from the shower, smelling sweet from that strawberry bodywash Lexa had bought on a whim, almost a year ago. She was glad she still had it in her shower, hadn’t thrown it out, because while it hadn’t smelled good on her, the strawberry mixed really well with Clarke’s already heavy-floral scent.

Despite her protests, Clarke hadn’t lingered, simply kissing her a few times before she’d got off the bed again to get dressed. Lexa had smiled as she watched Clarke pull clothes out of her now-familiar overnight bag. A little regret stained her thoughts though, worrying that maybe they should spend more nights at Clarke’s place. The feeling was as brief as it could have been though, because she knew the state of Clarke’s room. She’d been over there a few times, each time just passing through with Clarke, but she still couldn’t help the shocked little gasp that escaped her mouth every time she saw Clarke’s ‘dirty’ clothes pile. The last time she had been over there, it had been almost completely covering the floor of Clarke’s bedroom and was definitely better than ankle deep. She figured maybe some of that was due to the fact that she and Clarke spent pretty much every waking minute together. She thought, ‘When was there time to do laundry, anyway?’ but she had a sneaking suspicion Clarke wasn’t the neatest person on the planet either.

Lexa’s laundry hamper was full too, and that said a lot. Her laundry hamper hadn’t been full in a year. She tried not to think about why. Not because she didn’t want to think about Costia, but because she knew she didn’t have time to get lost in her own thoughts again. She’d already spent far too long in the shower and needed to get out. She hustled through drying off and getting dressed, throwing on whatever she grabbed first. When she checked her phone before pocketing it, she realized she only had about fifteen minutes to make the twenty-minute trip and decided she may as well go ahead and text Titus and let him know she’d be a few minutes late. She could blame it on traffic when she got there, because it was something that happened all the time in the city, even on a Sunday afternoon.

As Lexa made her way down to her car, Titus’ reply came, as brief as it was dry, simply, ‘Marcus and I will have to wait for you then.’ She had to fight to keep from rolling her eyes, his sneering, irritated tone radiating out through his message; that is, until she actually thought about what Titus was saying. She quickly realized that she didn’t know anyone named Marcus, and she didn’t know Titus knew anyone named Marcus either. Titus had always seemed like he was too private a person to have real friends, so she immediately began wondering who this person was to Titus. As she settled into the driver’s seat of her car, she decided she may as well try not to think about it too much. She was going to find out who Marcus was soon enough.

Thankfully, there wasn’t much actual traffic on her way, so she made good time, only arriving about 5 minutes late. She sighed as she found the front doors to Polaris unlocked; she wasn’t looking forward to having to knock just to be let in. Lexa pulled, and then pushed her way through the two sets of doors. Titus was standing in the middle of the dance floor, with a man that Lexa definitely recognized, but she couldn’t place him. He was older, maybe forty-five to fifty, some grey streaks in his beard and side burns. He looked like a regular, every-day guy, but there was something about the way he was dressed that put Lexa off. He was wearing a suit, like an honest-to-god three-piece suit. On a weekday, she probably wouldn’t have blinked an eye, assuming he was a businessman or a banker or something, but on a Sunday, the suit seemed out of place. She thought maybe he was religious, just coming from church or something. Still that didn’t seem quite right; that suit was probably worth money than her car. It was designer to be sure, obviously expertly tailored too, and Lexa felt a little envious. She owned a couple of decent suits, for days when she needed to get dressed up, but neither of the ones she owned looked that good on her.

As she approached them, Titus interrupted her thoughts though, patting the man on the shoulder as he said, “Heda, I’d like you to meet Marcus Kane, my new business partner.” She tried to keep her eyes from narrowing, taking in Marcus up close. He had a delighted little sneer on his face, one that made Lexa automatically not want to trust him, but she forced herself to remember her manners, reaching out to take his extended hand and shaking it as Titus continued, “And, Marcus, this is _Heda_.”

Trying not to feel dwarfed by Marcus’ much larger hands, and also trying to not get off on the wrong foot, she gave his hand a final shake as she said, “Welcome to the team, Marcus. Please just call me Lexa though… Titus is the only person I know who calls me _Heda_.” She nearly snickered when she realized that wasn’t quite true anymore; there was one other person who called her _Heda_. Clarke had taken to calling her that sometimes, in bed. It was usually when Lexa had drawn things out for too long and Clarke was feeling particularly needy. Lexa really needed to not be thinking about that at the moment though, especially because Marcus was talking.

“… you, Lexa. Titus was just telling me you’re recently back from a bit of sabbatical yourself, so I suppose I could say the same to you,” was about all Lexa caught, but she figured she had probably only missed the beginning of his first sentence, so she relaxed a little.

“Thank you, Marcus. I did leave for a while. Last year, I… I lost someone dear to me, but after some time off, and some convincing from Titus, I’m glad to be back,” Lexa said then, not sure if she should have said that much, but if Marcus was going to be around, she figured there was no reason not to be honest with each other. It was just good business; simple misunderstandings were an easy way to mess up a business relationship. As Titus escorted them towards the bar, she found herself relaxing a little more, going so far as to add, “It feels good to make other people feel good again.”

It wasn’t until they settled in at the bar, Marcus sitting on a stool beside her and Titus standing across from them behind the bar, that Marcus replied, “Well, that’s good to hear… If there’s anything I understand, it’s loss. My mother, Vera, passed last year too… heart attack.”

The sort of sudden confession struck Lexa, because despite the almost-casual way Marcus divulged that information, she could hear the way his voice tightened as he said his mother’s name. She felt an almost immediate change in her attitude towards him then, realizing that Marcus’ well-manicured beard, and his fancy suit, and his even fancier shoes, weren’t what was important about him. He was a person too, and she tried to remember that as she said, “I’m sorry to hear that, Marcus. I’m sure she was a lovely woman.”

His expression softened at her kind words, and Lexa realized she really was getting a glimpse of the man behind the suit when he said, “She really was… strongest, most dedicated person I ever knew.”

It was a moment before any of them said anything, Lexa thinking of Costia and their child, sure that Marcus was remembering his mother as well. Finally, it was Titus who broke the silence, when he said, “I think a round of drinks in order…” Lexa had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed Titus had pulled out three ‘rocks’ glasses and had filled them with whiskey. She saw the good whiskey she knew Titus kept behind the bar sitting beside the glasses. She’d never had a taste of the hundred-dollar liquor. Actually, she couldn’t remember a time she’d shared a drink with Titus at all; maybe a beer at the end of the night, sipping as they cleaned up and shut down, but they’d never just sat down at the bar together and had a drink. Titus casually slid the drinks across the bar to Marcus and herself, and she had to fight to concentrate as he lifted his own glass in a toast, “To those who’ve left us behind...”

There was another long moment of silence that followed that, as they sipped from their drinks, but eventually it was broken again, this time by Marcus, as he said, “Well, Lexa, I’m sure Titus has told you about the financial troubles Polaris is going through, so I’ll try not bore you with the details there. Suffice to say, despite the recent gains, I don’t think this place would have been open another three months the way the numbers read.”

Eyes widening slightly, Lexa looked to Titus then, expecting some sort of rebuttal or admonishment, only to find him still staring into his glass. When he did finally look up, it wasn’t good either; Lexa could see the truth in Marcus’ words written all over his face. Unable to help herself, she plaintively asked, “You said it was bad, but why didn’t you tell me it was that bad?”

The little bit of anger that slipped into Titus’ voice as he said, “Would you have come back sooner if you had known?” made Lexa bristle, but she could hear the embarrassment in his tone too. Obviously, Titus hadn’t wanted things to get this bad, and Lexa quickly decided to try not to hold his tone against him. Still, she found herself unable to respond, without her words coming out wrong anyway.

Thankfully, Marcus stepped in, saying, “That’s neither here nor there. The fact is that without a more-steady flow of clientele, this place isn’t going to survive, which is why I’d like to discuss the numbers from last night.”

Still feeling the shock, Lexa had almost forgotten about her own strategies to improve conditions at Polaris, even if only a little at a time, but when Marcus mentioned it, she quickly said, “Yes, I’m curious to hear how my theme night idea went too.”

The way Marcus smiled at her then, made her a little nervous, but she relaxed when she heard him say, “I don’t think I’d consider it a complete success, but with a little more marketing and some regularity, theme night definitely has the potential to grow this business.”

Beaming with pride, Lexa took the compliment for what it was, and smiled as she replied, “That’s excellent… I had some other ideas too, like maybe we do Guest DJ’s once a month too. I’d love to get DJ Luna one night, or someone really big like Semet or Daax, someone that would draw in the ‘out of town’ crowd… maybe, the influx would balance out the slower nights.” Lexa hadn’t even realized she’d begun talking animatedly with her hands until Marcus and Titus both laughed at her air-quoting ‘out of town.’ She wasn’t going to be embarrassed by her enthusiasm though, instead pressing on, saying, “There are lots of things to try, like changing up the way we do cover charges, or having more live music, or maybe even a local artist’s night…”

Quickly realizing she was starting to rant again, Lexa tried to reign herself in, but Marcus just smiled and said, “No, please, keep going… What this place needs, is passion like that.” She couldn’t help the way her smile widened then, and she proceeded to tell Marcus every idea she’d ever had, good or bad or otherwise.


	35. The Winnings... and The Losings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I know it's been a another full week between postings, but I think that this one will be worth the wait. It's also super long, so that's a thing too. I've been debating splitting this chapter up since I first wrote it, but the three sections all happen on the same night and I kinda wanted to keep them all together. I hope you don't mind... 
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy!!!

Dinner was everything Clarke thought it would be; slightly awkward at first, with nobody really knowing what to say, but as everyone settled in, the conversations picked up. She couldn’t help but feel relieved when everyone started to, at least appear, to be having a good time. It was nice actually, friends and family, or rather just family really, enjoying a meal together, learning more about each other, caring more about each other. The only distraction from the conversation around her was the nearly constant contact of Lexa’s hand on her thigh, thumb rubbing soft circles into her denim covered skin. It started out innocent enough, mostly just a reassurance, but when the conversation turned towards sex anyway (thank Octavia and Anya for that one), Clarke couldn’t help thinking about what the pad of Lexa’s thumb would feel like in other places. She knew, of course, having experienced the magic of Lexa’s thumbs, and fingers and palms for that matter. She could vividly recall how they felt rubbing themselves over every inch of her body, and even though, her mother sitting only a few feet away, that didn’t stop her from feeling heated just thinking about that. The tender touch, and the memories it evoked, had her quickly becoming wet enough to need to excuse herself to the restroom to ‘powder her nose.’ She slumped against the stall wall when she got there, using all her willpower to not simply text Lexa, ‘Get your ass in this bathroom right now and fix this mess you’ve made.’ She knew Lexa would do it, would take her up against the wall of that bathroom without a second thought, but the second Lexa got up from the table, her mother would know what was going on. It was thing to think about it while her mom was so close, it was a whole other to actually do something about it.

Resolving herself to a test of patience, Clarke simply relieved herself in other ways, wiping up as best she could, before moving to the sink to wash her hands. She was tempted to splash some water on her flushed face, but she settled for wiping a cold damp paper towel down the sides of her neck to cool off instead. When she finally returned to the table, she tried to focus on just getting through the rest of the meal, but after only a minute or two, Clarke’s resolve was already being tested again, Lexa leaning over to whisper against her ear, “You ok?” Clarke merely nodded, pushing down the electric shiver that Lexa’s hot breath caused and did her best to reengage herself in the conversation. She succeeded mostly, only allowing her mind to drift back into the gutter when she just couldn’t resist anymore. She managed to turn everyone’s attention towards Octavia and Anya though, pointing out the deep gouges on the side of Octavia’s neck. Once everyone was distracted by that conversation, she decided to fight back a little, placing her hand on Lexa’s thigh and trailing her fingertips lightly up and down the inseam of Lexa’s jeans. Lexa didn’t exactly tense under her touch, but she did shift slightly before bringing a hand down to cover her own, squeezing gently to pull her hand away from Lexa’s inner thigh.

In the moment, Clarke didn’t really think much about it, getting distracted herself by the appearance of their server with the check. She quickly scooped it up, not wanting anyone to get any ideas about splitting it. She’d said it was her treat, but she knew her mother would offer to pay instead, and Clarke just couldn’t have that; it was a matter of pride. When it came time to decide how much of a tip to leave the server, Clarke figured it was a perfect opportunity to pass the rest of her good fortune off to someone else too. She slipped all but her original fifty dollars into the bill holder, along with the receipt, smiling when she thought about their server’s face when he saw how much she’d left him. With everyone’s meal and drinks only coming to about a hundred and twenty-five dollars, she was sure he would be beyond pleased.

As they made their way towards the door, Clarke tried to initiate a little intimacy with Lexa again, sliding a hand along her back, right along the waistband of her pants, dangerously low to be considered appropriate in public. Lexa shirked her advances then too though, simply spinning in her arms and pulling her close as they waited for the others to emerge from the restaurant. Still, it didn’t really bother Clarke, because Lexa simply kissed her, just as easily as always. When everyone clustered together to say their goodnights, Clarke couldn’t help feeling like there might be something more significant there though. Lexa didn’t seem to have any trouble hugging her mom or accepting pats on the back from Anya. She even shook hands with Raven and Octavia, and while these interactions weren’t nearly as intimate as what Clarke had been going for, the subtle rejection still stung a little bit.

Walking back to the car with Lexa, Clarke’s mind started swirling, running over all the reasons Lexa might not want to be touched by her. She was grateful when Lexa didn’t protest to interlacing their fingers; she wasn’t sure she could handle it if Lexa rejected holding her hand. With Lexa’s hand filling her own though, it was hard to think about the things that needed to be said. She didn’t want to bring it up, but Lexa’s slight rejection at dinner, and after, weren’t the first times Lexa had shirked away from her. The more she thought about it, the more she knew they needed to talk about it though. They’d spent every night together over the last two weeks, and they’d had sex, made love even, but not once since her heat, had Clarke brought Lexa directly to her peak. She wouldn’t lie; she was amazed the first time Lexa had come just from making her come. Lexa was nearly insatiable when it came to giving her pleasure too; sometimes, driving her over the edge again and again, until all she could do was slump indelicately against Lexa’s chest and fall asleep. When Lexa’s libido didn’t bring her to the point of exhaustion, and she actually had the energy to try to return the favor, Lexa would claim that it was ok, that she was ok. Those nights Lexa had wrapped her up in her arms and whispered little love notes into her ear until she fell asleep. It didn’t make Clarke suspicious at first, but whether she wanted to admit it or not, it seemed like Lexa was deliberately wearing her out or hushing her off to sleep every night. The most nagging thing about the whole situation was that she couldn’t for the life of her figure out why.

A loud “Hey?!” broke Clarke out of her thoughts. She blinked a few times only to realize she had almost walked right past Lexa’s car, obviously lost so deeply in thought she hadn’t even noticed where they were going. She blushed, and nodded, too embarrassed to respond verbally, simply turning back towards Lexa’s car when Lexa tugged at her hand. She slid into the passenger’s seat then, relieved that Lexa didn’t ask her why she was so distracted, but that relief only lasted until Lexa settled into the driver’s seat next to her, turning to her almost immediately to ask, “So, you want to tell me what’s going on in that beautiful brain or not?”

Trying not to grimace, because while Clarke really didn’t want to talk about it at all, she definitely didn’t want to have this conversation parked on a busy street. If they were going to get into whatever was bothering Lexa, she knew they needed to be somewhere totally private. Lexa might not want to open up otherwise. Figuring Lexa wouldn’t let it go without some kind of explanation though, she finally said, “It’s nothing really, we can talk about it when we get home.” Clarke’s choice of words seemed to be enough to make Lexa smile at least and she relaxed a little as Lexa simply nodded as she started the car and pulled away from the curb.

Thankfully, it was a short ride back to Lexa’s apartment, but as they grew closer to their destination, Clarke couldn’t help it as her mind began to wander again. She knew they needed to talk, but part of her wanted to put it off. She didn’t want it to ruin the rest of their evening, because she had a feeling that by the end of their talk, one of them would be in tears. She also knew that if they were going to have any kind of future together, they had to learn how to tell each other when something was wrong.  And, something was most definitely wrong. She forced herself to think back over the last two weeks, trying to really pay attention to the details of what she could remember. Not once could she think of a time Lexa had pulled away from her as abruptly as at the restaurant, but there were hints of that urgency in her memories; Lexa holding her hand against her thigh whenever Clarke’s fingers wandered too far, Lexa always urging her up instead of down. She almost felt stupid when it hit her; Lexa hadn’t let Clarke touch her since her heat because Lexa was afraid, afraid that Clarke wouldn’t like what she found. Clarke didn’t think she’d ever thought anything more ridiculous though, because while she was curious about what she would find, she knew that it didn’t really matter what was inside Lexa’s pants. She already knew she was going to like it, because whatever state Lexa was in, Lexa was still Lexa. She was still the kind, caring, soft-hearted mush that squealed over squid videos. She was still the hardworking, talented artist that could invoke feelings of joy or sorrow or peace all from the drop of a beat. She was still the passionate lover that made Clarke’s whole world tilt on its axis, not matter what her body had to offer. Just the press of Lexa’s thigh in between her own was more than enough sometimes, and Clarke couldn’t imagine herself being disappointed by a little more skin to rub up against, especially if it was hot and stiff and slick.

Trying not to get too carried away, Clarke managed to push aside the more salacious thoughts she was having and decided to try to concentrate on how to get Lexa to talk about it instead. With how long Lexa had obviously been struggling with her feelings of inadequacy, Clarke figured the only thing she could do was just ask Lexa about it point blank and see where that got her. Clearly, Lexa wasn’t going to come out with it on her own, so the direct approach was really the only way. Clarke kind of hated the direct approach though, because she didn’t want to make things worse by just blurting it out either. She hated that she felt like she was scheming on Lexa, like she was trying to figure out a way to coerce her into talking, when really all Clarke wanted was for Lexa to talk to her honestly. That felt manipulative and hypocritical too, because there she was strategizing about how to get her to talk anyway.

It was just a big mess in her head by the time they parked outside Lexa’s apartment, but when she heard Lexa say her name, filled with sorrow and anxiety, she knew she’d been caught deep in thought again. Lexa was sure to be thinking the worst too, because when Clarke finally looked up at her, Lexa already had tears in her eyes. Only one escaped, but it was enough to rip at Clarke’s heart. All her worrying had clearly pushed Lexa to the edge of sanity. Clarke had made it worse and she hadn’t even said anything yet. Well, she wasn’t going to let that go on any longer, and like stripping off an old band-aid, she blurted out, “You haven’t let me touch you since my heat.” Her tone wasn’t harsh or demanding, or at least she hoped it hadn’t sounded that way, but when she saw Lexa flinch, she knew she hadn’t been very successful. Instead of letting Lexa withdraw further though, she reached out and took Lexa’s trembling hand, squeezing Lexa’s fingers with her own as she added, much more softly than before, “Do _you_ wanna tell _me_ why?”

For a long time, Clarke thought Lexa wasn’t going to answer her. Her question just hung in the ether between them, Lexa’s fingers still shaking in her grip, but eventually the tremors started to slow. She could tell Lexa was bolstering herself then, trying to figure out what to say, how to explain herself. Clarke found it easy to give her that time too, simply rubbing her thumb over the back of Lexa’s knuckles, until Lexa finally broke the silence, whispering, “Clarke, I— I want… I want to please you, but I’m not… not at my best now, not equipped to please you best… I mean, I didn’t think you’d want to— I don’t have a… anymore.”

It was obvious how hard it was for Lexa to admit even that much, if only in a roundabout sort of way. Clarke could hear it in her voice; the strained consonants, the shortened vowels, the stilted speech. Despite the almost-juvenile way Lexa described her predicament, Clarke knew that Lexa was deadly serious about her assumptions. The fact that Lexa was willing to deny herself, if only to make Clarke feel good, was selfless and noble, but it was a silly endeavor really. Clarke would never be satisfied with their relationship if it stayed so one sided. There was probably only one real way for her to make that point clear though, and that was to show Lexa how much her parts didn’t matter. It was _Lexa_ that turned her on, not just one specific part of her, and she needed Lexa to know that. She brought out her most sultry smile then, and reached over to cup Lexa’s cheek with her free hand, directing Lexa’s face up to meet her own as she said, “Lexa… do you really think that just because you don’t have a dick right now, that I wouldn’t want to touch you, wouldn’t want to go down on you?”

The lewd words and the enticing tone seemed to take Lexa by surprise; to be honest, Clarke’s own boldness kind of struck her too, but she wasn’t about to take the words back. She had thought about it several times over the last couple of weeks, taking Lexa’s clit in between her fingers or her lips, working Lexa up and up and up, until Lexa came all over her hand or her face. It was one of the things that made her embarrassingly slick actually, thinking about being able to draw such reactions from Lexa without her heat hormones upping the ante. She considered it her personal mission to help Lexa through whatever was making her feel inadequate, with her mouth and her hands if necessary. She didn’t see any reason why she couldn’t start that immediately too, leaning over the center console to draw Lexa closer, bringing their lips together for a soft kiss. It was as short as it was soft too, as Clarke pulled back to whisper, “Lexa, I love you… all of you… and I just, I wanna be able make you feel good the way you make me feel good, ok?”

Feeling Lexa press their foreheads together then, Clarke watched as one more tear trailed down her face. She wanted to reach up a little with her thumb and brush it away, but she felt like maybe Lexa needed it there, needed the reminder of how deep her feelings went. She simply gave Lexa fingers another gentle squeeze instead, trying to reassure her. They stayed like that for another long moment before Clarke felt Lexa nod against her. Clarke pulled their lips together for just another brief second before she pulled away again, not letting go of Lexa’s hand until she had to in order to get out of the car.

Once Lexa was around her side of the car though, she retook Lexa’s hand again quickly, needing the connection just as much as she was sure Lexa did. She followed easily when Lexa began leading them towards her apartment, but it wasn’t long before Clarke could feel the anticipation building along her nerves, making her skin feel electrified. Everywhere their skin touched as they made their way up the stairs felt like a shock, the contact ricocheting around inside her until she felt buzzed, just from holding Lexa’s hand and bumping into her as they walked. She could only imagine what it would feel like to have Lexa naked and bare before her. She nearly groaned as she imagined holding Lexa’s hips down as Lexa tried to writhe against her tongue. She was stumbling through the door when she thought about feeling Lexa’s hands clenching in her hair because she just needed somewhere to hold on to, too. Clarke was getting ahead of herself again, and she knew that, but when Lexa let go of her hand to shrug out of her jacket, Clarke became mesmerized by the way Lexa’s muscles moved under her skin. Before she could stop herself, she was pushing herself into Lexa’s space, pulling Lexa’s rear into the cradle of her hips with a firm grip Lexa’s waist. Even being that close didn’t feel like enough though, and Clarke found herself quickly whispering into the back of Lexa’s neck, “God, Lexa, I can’t wait to touch you. Please… please don’t make me wait?”

The tremor that rolled through Lexa’s body then, was almost permission enough, but Clarke held fast, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from moaning at the sensation of Lexa trembling with desire in her arms. Luckily, it was only a second before Lexa nodded again, choking out a soft, “please,” and Clarke didn’t hesitate, quickly slipping an arm down and around Lexa’s waist, hand hovering over the button of her jeans. She did hesitate then though, giving Lexa a moment to change her mind. This was essentially new territory for them, and Clarke didn’t want to be so eager that she missed some sign that Lexa wasn’t enjoying herself. When Lexa’s hips rolled forward, pressing that button into her hand, Clarke let herself smile against the back of Lexa’s neck, accepting that as permission enough to continue.

A soft gasp sounded from Lexa’s lips as Clarke thumbed the button loose, and Clarke couldn’t hold in a moan of her own at that sound. If Clarke could make Lexa gasp so easily, she wondered how long it would be before Lexa was crying out her name instead. Hoping that wouldn’t take long, Clarke decided to up the ante herself, pressing herself flush against Lexa’s back as she began to pull down the zipper of her pants. They were so close then Clarke could feel Lexa’s need in every breath, the expansion and contraction of Lexa’s chest pulsing in time with the parting of her zipper’s teeth. Clarke took her time unzipping them too, wanting to draw this out, wanting to remember every second, every tiny reaction.

When the zipper finally bottomed out, Clarke couldn’t help but tease just a little more, dragging her fingers up the front of Lexa’s underwear only to trace the soft skin just above. She didn’t have to ask, she’d just felt the evidence herself, but she coyly whispered anyway, “Are you wet?” Lexa flat-out whimpered then, hips rocking forward violently, chasing her teasing fingertips, and Clarke sighed as her hand slide down into Lexa’s pants. It was tight fit, but she found herself palming Lexa’s sex in no time. She groaned at the sheer heat of it, like a boiling furnace under her fingertips, even through Lexa’s underwear. The fabric was soaked through too, enough that she could clearly feel the pulsing bulge of Lexa’s clit and the shell of her outer lips below. If Lexa felt this warm and inviting through her briefs, Clarke couldn’t even imagine how she would feel skin to skin. She was sorely tempted to slip inside Lexa’s briefs, just to find out how much of that sweet, slick heat lay beyond the barrier, but feeling Lexa like that for the first time, was something far too intimate to be done standing in the front hall, with her hand stuffed down her love’s pants. Clarke wanted Lexa laid out naked on her bed, so she could worship Lexa’s body properly. She wanted to be able to touch Lexa everywhere at once like she wanted.

Probably through sheer force of will alone, she managed to pull her hand away from Lexa’s hot core, returning her grip to Lexa’s waist instead. Lexa whimpered again, probably from the loss of contact, but Clarke didn’t give her any time to complain, quickly spinning Lexa in her arms and pressing in for a desperate kind of kiss. The hot sweep of Lexa’s tongue threatened to sweep Clarke off her feet, distracting her from her goal, but when they eventually broke apart, Clarke didn’t go far, mumbling against Lexa’s lips, “Bedroom, plea…” Lexa didn’t even let her finish her plea, as she literally swept Clarke off her feet then, hands quickly finding purchase against the backs of her thighs, squeezing and encouraging Clarke to jump. Clarke didn’t have to be asked twice either, quickly hopping into Lexa’s arms, wrapping her own arms and legs around Lexa’s body to help support some of her own weight. Lexa didn’t seem to care about that though, walking them to the bedroom with ease and purpose. It was clear that their brief foray by the door had alleviated some of Lexa’s fears, and truthfully, Clarke couldn’t wait to show Lexa how wrong she had been.

Keeping up a litany of kisses as they made their way to the bedroom, Clarke found herself breathless by the time they finally reached it; the heat of Lexa’s body against her own combined with the ferocity of their kissing driving her towards desperation. Lexa slowed as they approached the bed, and Clarke could sense something shifting, and quickly broke away from Lexa’s mouth to whisper, “Lexa, this is all that matters right now, just us, ok? Just… just let me love you…”

Surprised by how quickly Lexa relaxed at her words, Clarke almost slipped from Lexa’s grip, and only by some eloquent twisting of her body did she manage to not end up unceremoniously dumped onto the bed. Instead, Lexa went down first, and Clarke wound up straddling her hips, hands pressed into the mattress on either side of Lexa’s head. She just hovered there for a moment, taking in Lexa’s face and neck and throat. It was all chiseled lines and hardened tendons, like always, but there was a softest in Lexa’s smile that Clarke had never seen before. It was beautiful, how the corners of her lips were turned up just the slightest bit, like even though she was smiling, she was still trying to hide it. Clarke leaned in then, hoping to make Lexa’s smile spread, and she was very pleased when the corners of Lexa’s mouth tilted up just slightly more. She kept leaning in, until there was not but a hair’s breadth between them, and when their lips finally met, Clarke smiled into the kiss, because Lexa was smiling into it too.

It wasn’t the fevered passion from before, but a soft, almost-tender thing; a reassurance, for both of them, for Clarke to continue and for Lexa to enjoy it. And, Clarke did continue, beginning with kisses along Lexa’s jaw all the way up to her earlobe, and then down the side of her neck again. Lexa’s breath hitched in her ear when her lips grazed the sensitive skin over Lexa’s scent, and Clarke purred as Lexa’s essence filled her senses. If she had any doubts left about what Lexa wanted, Lexa’s next words drove them from Clarke’s mind. “Please, Clarke… I— I’m yours…” Lexa whispered then, against the side of her head, and it was all Clarke could do to keep her hips from rocking against Lexa’s stomach at the desperation in Lexa’s voice.

Pulling back, Clarke stared down at her love splayed out underneath her; hair a mess on the pillows, breaths heavy and fast, lips dark and swollen from their kisses. Clarke realized what a gift Lexa was giving her, offering herself so openly and freely. She couldn’t keep her hips from rolling forward then, even more turned on by Lexa’s love and acceptance. When Lexa let out a pleased sigh, Clarke’s muscles quivered in anticipation, and she was forced to rest most of her weight over Lexa’s hips as she tried not to tumble over on top of her. Lexa squirmed below her, probably shifting to accommodate the extra weight, but as Lexa’s lower abs pressed into her, Clarke gasped. This was definitely not about her, but she couldn’t help feeling like she was well on her way to an orgasm, just from a little grinding against Lexa’s stomach, fully clothed even.

There was something she could do about that though, and she quickly pushed herself up off of Lexa’s body. She wiggled her fingers in underneath Lexa’s top, quickly removing the garment with a little flourish. Delighting in the way Lexa’s breath hitched at the move, her fingers quickly followed the line of Lexa’s bra around her back and loosed the clasp, thankful that Lexa arched up to give her a little better access. Lexa’s little maneuver drove her collarbone up towards Clarke’s face though, and she just couldn’t resist pressing a suckling kiss to the newly reveal skin. Lexa arched harder into the kiss, briefly trapping Clarke’s hands between them as she tried to slip the bra off Lexa’s arms. She eventually managed to get Lexa’s bra out of the way, but only after she released Lexa’s skin from the grip of her teeth. Lexa sagged back against the bed when she finally pulled her lips away from her skin, and Clarke was treated to a new sight below her, Lexa’s bare chest heaving with violent, panted breaths, and a fresh bruise already forming where her lips had just been.

It was an altogether heady feeling, seeing her mark on Lexa’s body, but instead of moving to deepen the bruise, like her instincts were screaming at her to do, she leaned back in to lavish the spot with soft kisses, sure that the bruise was already throbbing. Lexa relaxed under her ministrations, as Clarke began trailing her kisses further down. When she reached Lexa’s chest proper, she tried not to zero in too quickly on one of Lexa’s nipples, but the first time her lips brushed against the rock-solid bud, she couldn’t not take it into her mouth. Before she could stop herself, she was suckling it almost as hard as she had Lexa’s collarbone just moments before. Lexa hissed at the rough treatment, hips arching up once again, but when Clarke felt Lexa’s abs press up into her again, she didn’t let the pressure get to her, simply slipping further down in the bed to prevent any more distractions.

Still lavishing the skin of Lexa’s breasts with kisses and nips, Clarke settled with one of her knees between Lexa’s legs, offering Lexa a firm place to rock up against. Lexa didn’t disappoint either, crying out when her hips drove upwards once again. The way Clarke could feel Lexa’s clit, bulging slightly against the front of her jeans, nearly drove her wild, and she barely managed to stifle a gasp as Lexa’s thigh came up to press in between her own legs. She did her best to buckle down on her own desires though, as Lexa’s hips continued to rock into her body, allowing Lexa to simply grind against her instead, desperately trying to ignore the friction of Lexa’s denim-covered thigh against her body. Determined to do this right, to love Lexa right, she pulled her mouth away from Lexa’s chest, her voice coming out much huskier than she expected as she said, “Let’s get you out of these jeans, huh? They’ve gotta be feeling pretty restricting right now?” She pushed her knee forward a little to emphasize her point, and she smiled as Lexa groaned at the increase on pressure.

Lexa’s voice was husky and strained as well when she choked out, “Y-yeah… yeah… but…” The hesitation caused Clarke to pull even further back, because she felt like she needed to be able to see Lexa’s face. She worried something was wrong, or that Lexa had in fact changed her mind, but when she saw those dark green eyes, filled with nothing but desire, she instantly relaxed. The movement of Lexa’s jaw and throat caught her eye a second later, and she glanced down, watching the way the muscles moved and constricted as Lexa swallowed. It wasn’t long before the muscles moved again too, as she heard Lexa finally continue, “C-can I see you, too?”

Nearly chuckling at the way Lexa made the question sound so innocent, Clarke simply smiled at her, moving up Lexa’s body to press a ‘yes’ against her lips. She felt Lexa’s hands clench in the fabric of her top a moment later, one side holding tight while the other groped for the tab of the zipper along the opposite side. When Lexa found it, Clarke was shocked at how quickly Lexa managed to get the temperamental zipper all the way down. Not like she was going to complain, but she usually had to slip it half way around her body, so she could use two hands to get it undone. Lexa began pulling up then, gathering the fabric around her chest, and Clarke had to fight down a shiver as Lexa’s fingertips grazed her skin, drifting over her hips and up her sides along the way. Clarke reluctantly pulled back as Lexa continued to pull up, and only a moment later, her top went flying, landing somewhere on the floor to her left. She didn’t even spare it a second glance though, as Lexa’s hands quickly found her hips again. _Those hands_ were all she could think about for a moment, sliding up her body, shifting behind her back. She arched into Lexa’s touch; she couldn’t not, especially as those hands slipped the clasps of her bra loose. The straps fell away from her shoulders as the garment slacked, and she gasped as the cooler air rushed in against her nipples. Her bra flew off to the side then, off to her right that time, but again, she couldn’t think about where it went, not when Lexa pressed up into her, bringing their bare chests flush against each other.

Lexa’s mouth found her own again too, and there was a raw sort of need in Lexa’s kiss. All teeth and tongue, Clarke struggled to keep up, but when Lexa’s bottom lip slipped between her lips, she sucked it right into her mouth, holding it there as Lexa tried to keep kissing her. Lexa groaned in protest, but Clarke wasn’t going to let Lexa carry her away again, not when she could feel Lexa still straining against her thigh. She pressed Lexa back down on to the bed, both with her mouth and her hands, trailing her fingers down to play at the waistband of Lexa’s jeans. Lexa gasped as her fingertips dipped just below the hem of her underwear, and Clarke smiled against Lexa’s bottom lip. She began quickly retracing her path back down Lexa’s body with her mouth, pausing briefly at her collarbone and her nipples and chest again, leaving little nips and sucks along the way. She shifted further down as she went, and finally settled with both her knees between Lexa’s legs. She went about pressing kisses to Lexa’s quivering abs then, as she pulled at Lexa’s still open fly. Lexa’s pants were always tight, but Clarke had almost no problem peeling them away from Lexa’s skin though. Lexa simply lifted her hips the second she started to pull down and even shimmied a little when the pants ended up getting punched around her ankles. With the pants cast away, Clarke’s eyes zeroed in on the dark stain on the front of Lexa’s underwear, and she quickly helped Lexa out of those as well, delighting in the little gasp Lexa released as the fabric peeled away from her soaked sex.

With Lexa’s lower body finally revealed to her, Clarke sat back on her heels, overwhelmed by the mere sight of her, Lexa’s prominent clit standing out above her petaled, thick folds. There was glistening slick everywhere too, and despite her desires, Clarke was briefly mesmerized by the way the soft light filtering in from the hallway made Lexa glimmer and shine. She only got a few moments to unabashedly stare though, because soon after, Lexa shifted below her, obviously trying to close her legs even though Clarke was still sitting between them. She glanced up to Lexa’s face again then, but instead of seeing those dark eyes filled with that want from earlier, she found only unease and nervousness in its place. She quickly reached out, placing her hand on the top of Lexa’s knee, turning her most reassuring smile up at Lexa’s apprehension. “You’re beautiful,” she said then, a simple statement, but as Lexa eyes darkened once again, she knew it was the right thing to say. Her hand drifted along Lexa’s thigh as Lexa’s legs began to part again, and Clarke didn’t slow its descent, more than ready to just be touching Lexa already.

The first slip through that silky heat was like touching heaven, especially when she heard the sharp intake of breath coming from above her. Truthfully, Clarke nearly gasped too; the way Lexa’s clit seemed to lurch towards her fingertips was a stunning spectacle. She thought for a second that maybe she had imagined the movement, but when Lexa’s clit twitched against the open air, instantly flushing a more furious shade of red. She couldn’t resist touching Lexa again then, just to see her swell even more. As she began drawing her finger up and down, and back and forth, Clarke reveled in the little whimpers and soft sighs and rushed yelps that escaped from Lexa’s lips, the sounds quickly filling the room with the song of Clarke loving Lexa.

Eventually, that song took a bit of a turn though, sounding more like a dirge than an aria. Clarke quickly glanced back up Lexa’s body, only to find her hands clutched tightly in the comforter below her. Her jaw was clenched too, as she hissed through her teeth. It was in Lexa’s eyes that Clarke found her true feelings though. They were dark and stormy, filled with tremulous desire. Clarke couldn’t believe how tense and desperate Lexa looked too, like a combination of being incredibly turned on and wholly embarrassed at the same time. Clarke didn’t hesitate to press back over top of Lexa’s body then, keeping her hand pressed against Lexa’s sex as she held herself over Lexa with the other. She immediately leaned on that arm too, drawing Lexa’s lips to her own for a ground-shaking kind of kiss.

It wasn’t long before Clarke felt the tension in Lexa’s limbs start to retreat, and she took it as a sign to continue, moving her hand slowly at first, just rubbing up and down, tracing the edges of Lexa’s clit with her fingertips. A broken sob escaped Lexa’s mouth, huffed out against her lips, as Clarke slid a finger in on either side of her clit, shifting down to deliberately rub the swollen head with the slight webbing in between her fingers. The sound of Lexa’s fractured breathing bordered on sounding painful, but when Lexa’s hand shot up behind her, clutching at the back of her neck, holding her in place, Clarke continued, trying to keep her pace slow and measured, trying to make this last. After only another couple of strokes though, Lexa’s other hand came up to grip her forearm, squeezing and urging her onward. Clarke couldn’t resist either, she didn’t want to; suddenly all that mattered was making Lexa come. Too breathless to continue kissing, Clarke pressed her forehead against Lexa’s as she sped up her fingers, drawing them up before rocking them back down again, curling her fingers towards Lexa’s entrance as she went. She wanted to slip inside that heat as well, but with Lexa trembling against her, clearly barely holding herself together, Clarke decided there would always be time for that later. In fact, there were a lot of things she wanted to do later, and “God, Lexa, I— I can’t wait to taste you,” fell from her lips before she even realized she was speaking.

It seemed that mental image was enough to send Lexa screaming towards the edge, and Clarke was shocked when it happened, Lexa shaking so quickly it almost seemed like she wasn’t moving at all. Then Lexa’s back arched sharply, rising off the bed, pressing her front into Clarke’s chest, and Clarke gasped as Lexa slammed their lips together again too. The flushed heat of Lexa’s skin brushing against her own, sweat mixing and mingling, created more and more slick friction as Clarke continued to try to draw Lexa the rest of the way over the edge. On the next stroke down, Clarke sucked Lexa’s bottom lip back into her mouth, and Lexa’s gasping breath stopped, held in tight for a moment, before rushing back out again in a choked moan.

Lexa’s strangled sounds weren’t the only things that came rushing out either. Lexa’s hips jerked and shook, and Clarke moaned as well, as her hand quickly became covered in sticky heat. The flow was spurting out with every jerk of her hips, and Clarke felt a sudden urge to witness Lexa’s release in every way she could. She pushed up higher on her arm, trying to make a miniscule gap between their bodies, and when she glanced down, she realized it was just enough. She was quickly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of wetness pouring out of Lexa, but she continued working over Lexa’s clit, continued to draw out every second of Lexa’s release she could get. She eventually had to slow her movements, as Lexa’s body started to relax, but even when she could tell Lexa’s orgasm was over, she didn’t remove her fingers. She was too entranced by the way Lexa’s muscles twitched and contracted to even think about removing them, each round of aftershocks that shuddered through Lexa’s body more captivating than the last.

When it finally seemed like no more tremors were forthcoming, Clarke slowly drug her fingers up the length of Lexa’s sex, trying to gather as much of her love’s release as possible. She shifted up on her other arm too, and quickly pulled her hand up between their bodies to push her fingers into her own mouth, nearly desperate for a taste of that slick heat. Lexa was staring up at her, all wide eyed and panting, but body still lax from her orgasm. Clarke pushed her fingers further inside her mouth, eyes closing as she delighted in the way Lexa’s flavor filled her mouth. It was much like the way Lexa’s release had tasted during her heat, if only a bit milder. Clarke quickly decided that one second-hand sampling would never be enough though; she needed to drink from Lexa from the source, and _soon_. She opened her eyes, immediately finding Lexa’s again. She smirked around her fingers, making one last sexy swirl around them with her tongue before she finally pulled them out. With the way she’d been sucking them, they left her mouth with a slick wet pop, and she was delighted when Lexa shuddered at the sound. She pushed herself all the way up then, shifting slightly so that she was kneeling between Lexa’s still spread thighs again. A hungry gleam filled in her eyes as she looked down at Lexa then, all flushed and slick and swollen, almost begging for contact. Trailing her still wet fingers up Lexa’s quivering thigh, Clarke glanced up to meet Lexa’s eyes as she said, “Hope you’re ready for round two, love. ‘Cause I think I’m about to rock your world.” She didn’t wait for permission; the loud groan and sharp jerk of Lexa’s hips was more than enough for her.

 

~~~

 

All through dinner, Raven tried to keep her earlier conversation with Clarke stuffed far into the back of her mind. She wanted to be able to enjoy their dinner together, without her uncertainties looming over her. They were there to celebrate Octavia’s big win anyway, and Raven wanted to be able to share in her friend’s excitement. Although, now that she thought about it, Clarke and Octavia weren’t really just friends anymore; Anya and Lexa either. The way their lives had all intertwined; they were Raven’s _family._ Of course, that thought brought the prospect of children back to the forefront of her mind, and Raven had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying something right then. This dinner was definitely not supposed to be about the serious conversation she knew she needed to have with Abby. She had spent most of the afternoon and early evening obsessing over it, simply trying to figure out how to bring it up. Even still, she hadn’t really come up with any way to break that particular piece of ice, but she also knew she couldn’t put it off either. She owed Abby at least that much; she’d already drug her feet for too long anyway. Abby deserved to know what was going on, and ultimately, whether they decided to have children or not, they still had to decide that together. It was true that she’d already made the appointment with her doctor, but it could easily be rescheduled for later on in the year if Abby said she wanted to wait. It could even be canceled altogether, if Abby said she’d changed her mind about children. Raven really didn’t want to think about that though, because she wasn’t sure what she would do if that was what Abby wanted.

Pushing all those thoughts back again, Raven forced herself to concentrate on the conversation going on around her, interjecting when she thought she had something smart to say. Mostly, everyone else just talked around her though, and in the interim between quips, she happily munched on her burger and fries to occupy herself. Of course, leave it to Octavia to pick a swanky burger place for her celebratory dinner. She glanced around the table as she chewed, but whenever Abby spoke, Raven tried not to look at her too much. Every time their eyes met Raven felt this sudden urge to just gush all over her. She worried that she’d end up just blurting out that she wanted to have Abby’s babies, shouting it at her like some needy, senseless omega. Maybe it was the look in Abby’s eyes, like she knew she was missing something, or maybe, it was because Abby’s scent had been getting progressively stronger over the last couple of days. Either way, Raven felt like if she didn’t get this weight of her chest, and soon, she might suffocate.

Trying to rationalize, Raven struggled to get handle on herself, knowing if she didn’t, she might spiral out of control right there in the middle of the restaurant. She tried to focus on the facts; the scientific things that couldn’t be disputed. Part of her attraction to Abby was purely chemical, a reaction between her body’s hormones and Abby’s pheromones. That was a comforting thought too, knowing that Abby felt just as drawn to her as she did to Abby. The other part of her attraction was purely instinctual. Abby was a strong, dominant alpha, and she would sire strong children; Clarke was clear evidence of that. Raven knew her omega side would be proud to bear Abby’s young. Not to mention, Abby was attractive in other ways; her caring nature and her sexy hips, those cute little dimples that puckered under her cheeks when she smiled. Abby really was the total package, at least for Raven anyway. As her thoughts drifted, Raven recognized that part of her connection to Abby was emotional now too. It had snuck up on her, but she felt a swelling sort of affection for Abby, one that grew every day she got to wake up in Abby’s arms. It was the kind of feeling that she couldn’t really deny anymore.

It all seemed quite simple when she finally put all those thoughts together in a row; being with Abby made her happy, probably happier than she had ever been. She wanted to be able to share that happiness, not just with Abby, but with a child they had created together, too. It wasn’t a far reach to continue right on into her daydreams after that, especially when she clued back into the real world just in time for the conversation to turn to the half-moon shaped marks on the side of Octavia’s neck and how they got there. She didn’t really want to know about how rough Anya was in the sack, and she definitely didn’t need to hear about how much Octavia enjoyed it either. She drifted off into la-la land instead, sighing as her head filled with images of another time. Eventually, there was a shuffling in her periphery though, and she blinked wildly as she felt a body press in close to her own. Still, it wasn’t until she heard, “Hey, Earth to Raven. Come in, Raven?” whispered in her ear that she could even attempt focus on her surroundings again.

“Huh?” Raven grunted automatically, feeling a little uncomfortable when she realized she had no idea how long she had been out of touch with reality. Her fantasy had been so real that time though; strolling through the park with Abby, a little dark-haired kid, maybe four or five-years-old, swinging from their joined hands as they walked along the path. It was a beautiful day too; sun shining, a light breeze rustling the leaves on the trees. Everything about their lives seemed perfect. Rationally, Raven knew that nothing was ever perfect, but she thought her dreams for their future were as close as anything could be. Abby’s throat cleared beside her, and she blushed as she noticed that Clarke and Lexa, and Octavia and Anya were all already making their way for the front of the restaurant. She began wiggling her way out of the booth then, Abby giggling as she slid across the bench behind her. In her haste to catch up, the rubber sole of her sneaker caught against on the carpet, causing her to stumble, but Abby was there in a flash, keeping her upright. Raven didn’t even think about objecting to the help either, mostly just happy to have Abby’s warmth against her side, and Abby’s arm around her waist. She was even more relieved when their collective ‘goodnights’ didn’t take long, and Raven sighed as she settled into Abby’s side once again.

Giving one final wave to the group, Raven and Abby made their way towards Abby’s Mercedes then, strolling up the sidewalk in a sort of contented silence. At least, Raven thought it was content, but as they approached the car, she could feel Abby’s anxiety teetering towards the surface. She assumed her silence was probably partially to blame, but Raven also knew that it would not go well if she brought up what she was thinking right there on the sidewalk. Abby didn’t seem too put off though, easily helping her into the passenger’s seat before scooting herself around to the driver’s side. When Abby got into the car though, Raven found herself needing to do something to soften the raw ends of Abby’s nerves. She quickly pulled one of Abby’s hands into her own when Abby was finished pulling the car away from the curb. With Abby still so on edge, Raven knew better than to bring up babies then either. So, she bided her time and tried to keep herself calm and cool too.

It wasn’t like she expected a lot of a push back from Abby anyway. She knew Abby wanted more children, even if she’d said she didn’t _need_ them. Abby had alluded to _wanting_ more than once, and Clarke had out-and-out said it. Over the last couple of weeks, Raven had found herself thinking, ‘There’s a big difference between wanting and needing,’ but it was Clarke’s vehemence that had really driven the point home. It was Raven’s biology that was making her think she needed to have children, but she felt like she actually wanted them with Abby. In turn, Abby had said she didn’t need more children to feel like her life had been fulfilling, but Raven hoped Abby wanted a child or two with her anyway. That hope was enough to make Raven feel like they were at least reading from the same book, even if they weren’t quite on the same page yet. Still, she worried too; she couldn’t not. Telling Abby about her doctor’s appointment would make it real, make it permanent, even if the appointment could be easily cancelled or postponed. Never having been one to back down from a confrontation though, Raven decided meeting things head on was her best option. She just needed to sit Abby down and tell her how she felt, and then, they could go from there. She figured that was probably all she really could do anyway, just put it all out there and hope for the best.

The closer they got to home, the more tense Raven became though. By the time they were parked on the street in front of the townhouse, Raven was wondering if her hope for the future would be the boost that she needed to tell Abby anything at all. Her fear of rejection was rearing its ugly head again, but as her doubts began to overwhelm her once more, Abby’s fingers gently squeezed against her own, quickly bringing her back down to Earth again. It didn’t take long for Raven to realize that even though she hadn’t said a word, their conversation had already begun. She wouldn’t be able to play off her suddenly spiking anxiety. If she didn’t know before, surely, Abby knew then that something was bothering her, and she was going to have to own up to it, probably sooner rather than later. Abby seemed content to at least get them behind closed doors first, taking Raven’s arm to delicately leading her inside. They got all the way into the living room before Raven finally heard Abby murmur, “Let’s get comfortable, and then, when you’re ready, you can tell me about whatever’s been bothering you all night.”

Hearing the slight, goading nature in Abby’s tone, Raven started to protest, even though she knew she shouldn’t, but Abby just plopped down on the couch and opened her arms, obviously hoping Raven would just settle in with her until she was ready to talk. Raven knew she couldn’t do that though; she needed to be able to look Abby in the eyes for this. She needed to be able to see Abby’s reactions for herself. Still, it was tempting to just curl up into Abby’s lap anyway and cry the things she needed to say against Abby’s shoulder. It would give her a very convenient place to hide when the inevitable rejection came. When she finally chose to sit beside Abby, instead of on her lap, Raven could tell the subtle rejection stung, and she quickly tried to smooth things over, blurting out, “I— I just… I need to be able t-to look at you right now, ok?”

It took a moment, a long moment, but a soft smile finally graced Abby’s lips as she replied, “Of course, Raven… Whatever you need, honey.” Raven caught the faintest twitch of Abby’s hand then, just the slightest of movements, and she nearly whined at Abby’s hesitation to touch her.

That was definitely not a good way to start their conversation, and she quickly scooched towards Abby, taking that trembling hand into her own as she said, “Just because I sat here, instead of there, doesn’t mean I don’t want you to touch me.” She hesitated, thinking a little humor might help, but ultimately thought better of it, and simply added, “I just have something I need to tell you, and I can’t let you distract me. It’s kinda serious…” She drew their intertwined hands into her lap as she spoke, nestling their fists in between her thighs, deliberately positioning their hands so she could hold the back of Abby’s hand against her body. She hoped that the contact would transfer some of her feelings as well. She thought about how much she wanted Abby, how much she needed her; not just in the bedroom, but in her life in general. Raven already felt like she was a better person, just in the three short weeks they had known each other. She let herself fill with all the hope and love and affection she was feeling, and then tried push those emotions into Abby. In seconds, Abby seemed to relax, and Raven decided it was time. She tried to keep her voice calm and even as she said, “I have a doctor’s appointment next week… and I’d like for you to go with me.”

Raven barely had time to finish before Abby half-shouted, “WHAT do you mean, ‘doctor?’ What— What’s wrong? Is it your leg or—” Instantly realizing her mistake, Raven winced at Abby’s panic-stricken tone; she should have known that Abby would immediately fear the worst. Raven did the only thing she could think to do then, quickly pushing her way into Abby’s space, and bringing their lips together, effectively swallowing the rest of Abby’s rant. Abby grunted against her lips, but Raven just pressed in closer, not letting up until she could feel Abby smiling into their kiss.

Smiling herself as she pulled away, Raven brought her free hand up to cup Abby’s jaw, soothing her thumb over Abby’s cheek as she said, “Abby, no… nothing’s wrong. It’s not that kind of doctor’s appointment.” She nearly sighed as Abby’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she tried to keep her smile bright as she explained, “I’m going to see my gynecologist.”

Confused to stunned in two seconds flat, Abby muttered a simple, “Oh…” before falling silent again. The emotions that filtered into Raven left her head spinning; first, a wave of arousal that made her feel warm all over, then a spike of anxiety that made her breath hitch, and finally, a deep longing that made her feel like the bottom of her stomach had just fallen out. It was so disorienting that she actually felt sort of lightheaded and nauseous as Abby’s emotions whipped around inside her, but when she heard Abby quietly ask, “what’s the appointment for?” the strongest of Abby’s emotions so far hit her full force.

It was a gut-wrenching sort of feeling, Abby’s terror flowing into her. It was worse too, because Raven knew that Abby felt that way all because she didn’t have the full story. The rush of emotion made it easier though, and she finally blurted out what she’d been dying to say all night, “I— I want to have my birth control implant removed. I want kids, Abs… I want to have _your_ baby.”

“Oh,” Abby exclaimed again, only this time it was an almost joyful, excited sound, and Raven sighed in sudden relief as Abby’s arms flew out around her. “Raven, I… I don’t how to… I don’t know what to say… Just, yes, God, yes…” Abby hissed into her ear then, and Raven’s heart soared off into space. She had so many things she wanted to say to Abby then, how excited she was and how worried she was and how overwhelmed she was, but before she could get her thoughts organized, Abby was kissing her, _hard_. It was all lips and tongue and heat; every ‘yes’ Raven could have asked for and more. It was like an affirmation, a solidification of what was between them, the physical and the emotional sides of their relationship crashing into each other. She wasn’t sure who ended the kiss, or how or why, but when Abby started peppering kisses across her jaw and cheeks, she sighed again, loving Abby loving her. Eventually, Abby drew away from her though, but Raven didn’t even open her eyes, already pulling Abby back to her. When she felt Abby’s breath, hotly panted against her face, she paused, thinking about giving Abby another second to catch her breath. It seemed Abby was ramping herself up instead of relaxing herself though, her breaths coming harder and faster, until Raven finally opened her eyes, just to make sure Abby wasn’t hyperventilating. What she wasn’t expecting, was for Abby to finally whisper, “Raven, I… Raven, I love you…”

Totally floored, Raven just gaped at Abby for a second. That was definitely not the reaction she had been imagining all night, but even still, her heart swelled at those three little words. She returned Abby’s sentiment wholeheartedly, without a moment’s hesitation, sighing as she said, “Oh, Abby… I love you, too.” Abby pulled then, and she shifted, until she was finally firmly sitting across Abby’s lap, surrounded by Abby’s arms, and her love. She buried her face in Abby’s neck the instant she could, absorbing the words and the feelings and the moment as best she could, knowing she’d needed to commit the whole exchange to memory, before even a second of it faded from her mind. Abby cuddled her close too, whispering her love into her hair, or simply pressing kisses to the top of her head, obviously content to just enjoy being so close as well.

Too soon, it wasn’t enough for Raven though. She wanted to celebrate, and as much as she loved cuddling on the couch, she could think of a few more athletic ways to enjoy this next step in their lives together. Those ideas didn’t include the couch however. She knew from experience how complicated the logistics of couch sex could be, especially because of her leg, and while it was _do-able_ , that wasn’t what Raven wanted. She wanted tender touches and little love bites. She wanted skin to skin and heart to heart. She wanted to feel as close as she could get to Abby without physically being inside her. She nearly snickered when she thought that maybe she would actually get inside Abby at some point during their celebration. She just had to get them to the bedroom to try. Knowing Abby wouldn’t say no, especially if she asked, she pulled away from Abby’s neck, just far enough to be heard, and she whispered, “Take me to bed, Abby…”

Raven’s husky words seemed to feed right into Abby’s flame, and Raven was instantly engulfed in a flush of desire. She barely had time to process the heat of Abby’s need, before she felt herself being shuffled in Abby’s arms. When Abby went to stand though, she pushed a hand to Abby’s chest, and stuttered out, “Wa-wait… I— I want to try something!” Abby looked confused again, but Raven didn’t take the time to explain, she just squirmed off of Abby’s lap and onto her own shaky legs. Abby was right behind her though, steadying her yet again, and Raven smiled as she moved to drape her arms over Abby’s shoulders. Abby swayed a little in her hold, pressing in for a kiss that Raven gratefully accepted. Raven didn’t let them linger there for long though, eventually pulling back to say, “Just… just put your hands under my butt and be ready to help me.”

Thankful that she didn’t have to explain beyond that, Raven squeaked as Abby quickly complied, seemingly eager to try to help her however she needed. It turned out that Raven did need a little help too, as she pulled down on Abby’s neck with her arms and jumped with her good leg. That leg went up fine, but she struggled to pull her dead leg up using only her thigh muscles. Abby’s hand quickly slid underneath that thigh though and got her the rest of the way there. A moment later, Raven managed to hook her feet together at the ankle, or at least that’s what she hoped had happened. Only being able to feel one side of the connection between her ankles was a slightly weird sensation, but she felt a little downward pressure in her hip and thigh, so she figured she had as good of a hold on Abby as she was going to get. She shifted her weight on her arms, sliding one of them further over Abby’s neck so she could reach down with the other. She had to search around for it was just a second, but eventually, she found the new locking disc she had installed on her brace. Abby gave her a bit of a puzzled look at the shift and click, but Raven simply sighed as she finally settled her weight back down on top of Abby’s hips. “I’ve been tinkering with my brace. It… It’ll keep my knee locked at a 90-degree angle, so now… now we can do this,” Raven explained when Abby’s confused look persisted. Raven couldn’t help rocking her hips forward a little bit, if only to emphasize her point, and her core throbbed as she pressed herself into Abby’s tense stomach.

Groaning as she felt Abby’s hands dig into her ass, Raven’s hips jerked forward again, and when Abby groaned in return, Raven knew she’d done good. Abby obviously liked the new position too, especially if her break-necked stumble towards the stairs was any indication. Not once did Raven feel like she was going to fall though, even as Abby bounded up the stairs, even taking some of them two at a time. It seemed like Abby was on a mission, and it was one Raven was more than willing to go along on. Before she knew it, Abby was pressing her up against the inside of their bedroom door, rocking into her, kissing her, devouring her and Raven was decidedly not shy about how good if felt. She moaned into Abby’s mouth as she felt Abby’s hands begin to drift up her sides. It seemed the new addition to her brace seemed to be holding, so Raven settled in against the door and she brought her hands up to bury her fists in Abby’s hair. It wasn’t like Abby needed the encouragement, or the direction, but Raven simply needed something to hold on to, and the back of Abby’s head seemed like a good place to start.

Being able to telegraph Abby’s moves still didn’t prepare her for the way Abby shifted then, and she gasped as Abby’s lips sealed over her mating mark. She arched harshly into the contact, her fists scrunching in Abby’s hair as she tried to keep herself grounded. Abby’s abs weren’t helping with that effort though, pressed tightly against her sex, slithering and sliding against her every time Abby moved to press her lips against a new spot on her neck. Raven could tell that some of that extra movement was just for her benefit, timed just right to drive her wild and she couldn’t help thinking about what it would be like to have Abby like this, only during her heat. Images of Abby pinning her against the nearest hard surface rushed through her mind; Abby too worked up to control herself, driving inside her, stretching her, knotting her, breeding her. She moaned again, as she felt Abby’s hands finally drift up under her shirt. With a better grip on her hips, Abby began directing her movements then too, and it wasn’t long before Raven fell right into Abby’s rhythm.

Honestly, she was a little embarrassed, but it only took a few well-timed grinds before Raven was absolutely throbbing with need. The need to be touched, to be taken, quickly overpowered her good sense, and a broken “p-ple-ase…” fell from her lips. Abby picked up the pace, pressing into her harder and faster, but at that point, Raven wasn’t even sure what she was begging for; she wanted to come, almost desperately, but it felt like there was something missing too. It didn’t take her long to realize what that was either. She _needed_ more. She needed more of Abby’s hands on her skin, without her bunchy clothes getting in the way. She needed more of Abby’s skin to touch as well, but when she tried to reiterate her desperate plea, she only managed to choke out a few vowels. It seemed Abby understood her though and Raven whimpered as Abby pulled them away from the door. The sudden release of pressure against her sex nearly made her scream, as her sex quivered against her obviously ruined underwear, but Raven quickly reminded herself that soon she’d have more of Abby than she could probably handle.

If only she had realized at the time just how true that statement was about to be. Abby’s lips found her own for just the briefest of moments, before Raven landed on the bed with a thump. The rough landing would have been fine though, if Abby hadn’t followed her down, falling over on top of her in a huff. The sudden pressure forced all the air from Raven’s lungs, but it was the way that Abby’s stiff abs pounded into her core that really stole Raven’s breath. For just a moment, she actually couldn’t breathe at all. Her insides clenched so tight, that there wasn’t enough room in her body for air, even if she could catch her breath. The tension snapped along her nerves, shooting pain and pleasure across every nerve ending, every synapse, overwhelming Raven in the best possible way.

Arms shaking, and thighs trembling, Raven came, like a horny virgin on prom night, still fully clothed, barely even touched. Abby shifted against her then, obviously trying to remove some of her weight from Raven, but Raven just clenched her fists harder in Abby’s hair, needing Abby to stay right where she was. Her insides twitched and clenched and rolled, waves of pleasure and pain washing through her body. When those waves finally slowed, Raven was finally able to breathe again, at least a little bit, but when Abby tried to shift again, Raven managed to pant out, “N-O, st-ay, I—UH…” That was as far as she got though, before a round of aftershocks shook through her, locking her muscles up again, only to release in a rolling tremor a moment later. Abby seemed to get the picture however, pressing herself back down against her, and Raven had to admit, it felt good, enjoying the aftermath with Abby’s weight on top of her, even if it wasn’t everything she had wanted.

It was quiet for a few moments, only the sound of her broken breathing filling the silence, but when she heard Abby eek out, “honey? did you just…?” Raven couldn’t help laughing. It was broken, just like her breathing, but the incredulous tone in Abby’s voice was just too much for her to handle in her blissed-out state.

When Abby buried her face into the side of her neck, Raven knew she was trying to hide there, but the contact stole Raven’s breath again, and her choking laughter cut off in a gasp. It was Abby’s turn to chuckle then, but Raven felt more than heard the softly exhaled sounds. She couldn’t begrudge Abby though, it was pretty funny, and when Raven managed to catch her breath a little bit, she joined in, chuckling herself as she said, “Y-yeah, I did. What— what can I say? You’re awesome…”

Whimpering slightly as Abby finally made to pull away from her, Raven tamped down on the sound as soon as their eyes met. The joy in Abby’s eyes was well worth the embarrassingly quick orgasm. She felt like she could endure the indignity of a thousand ‘little deaths’ just like that one, if it meant Abby looked at her like that after each one. Abby’s lips were pulled up in a soft smile and there was a softness to her eyes that spoke volumes. It was a look Raven very much appreciated, the caring and love Abby felt for her unquestionably clear. Raven didn’t have to guess about it either, as Abby said, “You’re the awesome one…” Blushing at the praise, Raven tried to pull Abby back down on top of her, hoping to hide in Abby’s neck this time, but Abby shifted out of her grip anyway, softly adding, “And… if you think I’m done showing you that, you’re sorely mistaken.”

Gasping as Abby tried to pull completely away, Raven realized why Abby had fallen on top of her in the first place. Her legs were still locked around Abby’s waist, literally. She quickly reached down and turned the locking disc on her brace, sighing as her legs fell open, finally releasing Abby from her hold. Abby didn’t go far though, kneeling at the side of the bed, hands immediately moving to help her position herself more comfortably. Raven let her too, sighing again as her hips popped and stretched. When Abby’s touch disappeared though, Raven quickly propped herself up on her elbows to see what Abby was doing. The look in Abby’s eyes had turned, as Abby just stared at her brace. It was like Raven could see the worry brewing in Abby’s eyes, smell it building in her scent, and Raven knew Abby was thinking about how her leg would fair through a pregnancy.

Honestly, Raven had thought about that too, a lot in fact, and she quickly blurted out, “It’ll be ok. I don’t’ care if I’m on bed rest for months, or what I have to do… I want your baby, Abby.” Abby’s eyes flashed up to meet her own then and Raven could see that her words brought Abby some comfort, but Raven also knew that Abby knew it might not be as simple as that. There were a thousand things that could go wrong, even if Raven was healthy as a horse, but her leg made simple things like treatable blood clots or water-weight swollen limbs, all the more dangerous. Realizing that she really couldn’t have picked a better mate for herself though, Raven hurriedly added, “Look, I get it, Abs… You’re a doctor. You know my leg’s gonna make things harder, but that’s why everything’s gonna be fine. You’ll know when something is wrong, probably before I do. This is gonna work… We’ll make it work…”

Letting her voice trail off there, Raven watched as Abby’s worried expression softened slightly. Wanting, no, _needing_ , to feel Abby’s relief for herself, she sat up and brought her hands down to cup the sides of Abby’s face. She sighed as Abby pressed into her touch, shifting them both until she was back between Raven’s knees. Raven hugged Abby to her chest then, enjoying the way Abby’s chest moved against her stomach, enjoying just being together for a moment. When Abby’s hands eventually started to wander; first, down her back, pressing into the dimples at the base of her spine, and then drifting up her sides, and Raven thought for a second Abby was just trying to comfort her. Then Abby’s hands slipped under the sides of her shirt again though, and Raven shivered as Abby’s warm hands met her skin. Goosebumps pebbled her flesh everywhere Abby’s hands touched, and before too long, Raven was ready to see how far Abby’s hands would wander, if only she had more access.

Releasing her grip around Abby’s shoulders, Raven ran her hands down Abby’s back as well, teasingly dragging her fingernails back up when she reached the bottom. Abby arched into her, sighing against her chest, and Raven repeated the motion, digging her nails in a little harder, even as Abby’s hands slid up her own back again. The added pressure earned her a moan instead of a sigh, and Raven smiled, happy that Abby seemed to be done talking, at least for the next little while anyway. She gathered the fabric of Abby’s top in her hands on her next trip back up Abby’s back, and her smile widened as Abby shifted to allow her to pull the shirt up over her head. Abby’s abs were probably one of Raven’s favorite parts of her alpha, but she had to admit the sharp lines of Abby’s collarbone and shoulders were quite appealing too. She couldn’t resist tracing her nails over the newly exposed skin, delighting in the shiver that rolled over Abby’s skin at her touch. She didn’t get long to tease though, before Abby was pushing up on her own shirt. Raven drew her hands away only long enough to let Abby pull the garment over her head, bringing her back down to tease the skin along the edges of Abby’s bra instead of her collarbone. Abby seemed to get the picture pretty quickly too, her hands disappearing behind her back for only a second before Raven saw the straps of her bra fall slack. Her fingers slipped easily underneath the cup of Abby’s bra then, and Raven moaned as she pulled the bra away from Abby’s skin. Abby’s nipples were already pebbled and hard, begging Raven to touch them, and that was exactly what Raven did; quickly throwing Abby’s bra off somewhere into the room before enveloping Abby’s full breasts in her hands.

Abby absolutely sagged into her touch then, to the point Raven nearly fell backwards as Abby’s weight shifted against her. Abby recovered quickly enough to keep them both upright though, and Raven gasped when felt Abby’s tense stomach muscles pressed against her core again. Her own bra loosened a second later, and she sighed as Abby’s fingertips traced the line where it had left an imprint on her skin. Abby’s fingers drifted around to her front then, and Raven tensed as Abby brushed over her nipples as she pulled her bra away from her breasts. Shivering, but not from a chill, Raven pulled Abby back to her chest, gasping as wet heat quickly enclosed one of her nipples. Suckling lips and the edges of blunt teeth teased, and all Raven could do was moan as Abby moved across her chest, kissing and sucking her way from one nipple to the other. She groaned as Abby’s teeth sank further into her flesh, gasping and clenching her fists in Abby’s hair as Abby sucked in a cool breath through her teeth. It felt so good she nearly missed it when Abby’s hands moved further down, but when she realized she could feel one of Abby’s hands but not the other, she knew Abby was doing that thing again; distracting her as she took off her brace. Raven wasn’t about to complain though. Secretly, she loved how Abby took off her brace when they were making love, treating it like just another layer of clothing between them, just maybe with a bit more delicacy. A few moments later, Abby’s hands returned to her bare sides, and Raven knew she would find her brace in the same place she always found it, laid out on the end of the bed, resting against the footboard. Abby had actually insisted that their new bed have a footboard just for that reason. As wet heat enveloped her nipple again though, Raven couldn’t really think about that anymore.

Surrendering herself to Abby’s luxurious pace, Raven moaned and hissed as Abby continued to lavish her breasts with attention. Abby was alternating so expertly between pleasure and pain, that it wasn’t long before Raven felt like she might come again just from those simple sensations alone. Her nipples were pulsing and throbbing, only finding relief when they were enveloped in the wet heat of Abby’s mouth. Her clit was aching as well, twitching roughly against the sullied fabric of her underwear, but the slight pain there felt good too, especially when Abby’s mouth was particularly rough against her skin. She clenched and sighed as Abby’s teeth worried a deep bruise into the underside of one of her breasts. She shivered and throbbed when Abby gripped and pulled at one of her nipples until it tingled and burned from lack of blood flow.

Eventually, the sweet torture ended though, but when Abby pulled away, Raven’s breath hitched again as she felt Abby’s fingertips sink just under the waistband of her pants. She quickly released her grip in Abby’s hair too, and immediately moved her hands to her sides, ready to press down against the bed when Abby was ready. The button and zipper gave way easily under Abby’s grip and the second Raven’s butt left the mattress, Abby was pulling down on her pants. Her underwear disappeared as well, and Raven hissed as the cooler air of the room rushed against her core, making her ache even more.

Much to Raven’s chagrin, Abby’s hands didn’t immediately move to soothe that ache, but when she glanced down at Abby, still kneeling on the floor, just beyond her knees, she realized why. Abby was staring at her sex, mouth open, breathing elevated, eyes so dark they almost looked scary. Raven couldn’t help but whimper at the sight of her alpha so entranced by her arousal, but when Abby’s dark eyes instantly fixed on her own, Raven chomped down on it, forcing it to come out as more of a groan instead. Abby seemed encouraged by her noises though, and Raven nearly moaned when Abby simply shuffled forward, her shoulders easily pressing in between Raven’s knees. Abby’s hands where on her again then, gripping at her hips, and Raven completely surrendered herself to Abby’s touch. She fell back in a huff as Abby dragged her closer to the edge of the bed, but she gasped as Abby quickly threw her good leg up over her shoulder and pinned her bad leg down with her other arm.

The feeling of hot breath teasing her folds was almost too much for Raven and her back arched sharply off the mattress as she tried to jog her hips up, seeking that heat like a missile. Abby’s weight shifted with her though, pressing her more firmly to the bed. She felt it, more than heard it, when Abby whispered, “shh… just let me…” against her weeping core. She didn’t have to go searching for Abby’s hot mouth then, as Abby fell into her, lips immediately seeking out her clit, wrapping around it and roughly suckling it. Raven would have shot off the mattress if she could, but instead her muscles strained and pulled, insides frantically clenching at nothing. She whined as the pressure of Abby’s mouth only increased against her too, Abby’s chin nestling against her entrance. The friction was wonderful, but it just wasn’t quite enough. She needed Abby inside her, _needed_ to feel Abby filling her up; body, mind and soul. Most specifically, in body, at least at the moment, but she knew that just feeling Abby press inside her would fill her up everywhere else anyway.

It wasn’t long before she was absolutely twitching inside the heat of Abby’s mouth, desperate to feel that pressure inside her release. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and her blood was rushing between her ears too. She could feel herself getting closer and closer to that edge, until she felt like it was just out of reach. She almost felt frustrated that she wasn’t tipping over and she tried to give voice to her need, choking out brokenly, “In— ssss—”

That was all Raven could manage as Abby’s lips and tongue continued to tease and torment her, but thankfully, it seemed Abby understood her. Maybe, it was just instinct or some kind of intuition, who knew really, but still, Raven gasped when she felt Abby’s weight shift again, the pressure of Abby’s chin quickly being replaced by a hot, wet tongue. Raven’s clit certainly throbbed then, the sudden release of pressure causing it pulse with every wild beating of her heart, but as Abby’s tongue sank inside her, Raven was too overwhelmed to notice. The stretch was slight, but it was definitely enough, and when she felt Abby’s tongue curl forward, lapping at the spongey surface of her front wall, Raven knew she was done for. There was no resisting the orgasm she could feel pulsing inside her, and she welcomed it.

A wild, broken sob fell from her lips as her walls clenched around Abby’s tongue, locking up tight enough to push Abby out, but as usual, Abby didn’t give up, driving forward into her, forcing her tongue back inside as deep as she could get. Raven felt Abby’s thumb pressing down on her clit then too, circling the hardened nub, rough and fast. The added stimulation had Raven absolutely wailing as her orgasm slammed through her body, the sound echoing as her release soared through every inch of her. She shook and trembled, and pulsed and clenched, and squirmed and arched, until she thought Abby had coaxed every last second of her release out of her. As the last few tremors ricocheted along her nerves, she sank back against the mattress, so beautifully and utterly spent, but Abby’s tongue didn’t stop probing at her, lapping noisily through her folds and dipping back into her relaxed entrance. The slick sounds were quickly joined by a chorus of groans and moans, the vibrations making Raven’s skin buzz with renewed energy. It certainly seemed like Abby was enjoying herself and Raven wouldn’t stop her, even if she had the energy to do so. It felt too good, too intimate to stop her, so Raven just soaked up the attention as long as she could.

After several, long, delicate minutes though, Abby eventually pulled away. Glancing down then proved to be almost as satisfying as her orgasm though, as Raven took in the widely-blown nature of Abby’s pupils and her whole lower face wet and glistening. Abby was smiling too, that dopey, satisfied grin that Abby often wore after her own orgasms. Raven couldn’t help but wonder what brought on that smile. Surely Abby hadn’t come with her, completely untouched and still half clothed, but that didn’t stop Raven from thinking it anyway. A moment later, her suspicions were confirmed though, as Abby’s shoulders shook and trembled against her thighs. Abby’s head came to rest on her upper thigh too, and the huffed little pants that rushed against her skin were what sealed the deal. Feeling much less embarrassed about her own unexpected orgasm earlier, Raven scrunched one of her hands in Abby’s hair, tugging slightly to try to get Abby to look up at her. When Abby finally did, she smirked as she said, “I guess I’m not the only horny teenager in the room, huh?”

When their relationship had rushed ahead them, it had fused them together before they even really know each other, so there had been a bit of a learning curve, figuring each other out by trial and error. Raven knew if she had made such a joke, even a week before, Abby would have gotten upset over her teasing, but at the moment, Abby just looked up at her with that same soft smile, and said, “Yeah… I, uh, might have gotten a little carried away.” Abby began the slow climb up her body then, kissing her lower belly and dragging her short nails over Raven’s skin, but Raven didn’t let Abby distract her this time. She wanted to know what had been going through Abby’s mind that had gotten her so ‘carried away.’

Bidding her time, and still trying to fully catch her breath, Raven waited until Abby was settled in by her side, before she finally whispered, “And, what were you thinking about, that got you so carried away?” The long silence that followed intrigued Raven all the more, and she leaned up a little bit to try to get a better look at her alpha. Abby’s eyes were still dark and wide, and her mouth was open as if she wanted to speak, but there was obviously something holding her back. Thinking that Abby was probably still a little embarrassed, and a little breathless, she softly added, “You can tell me anything, Abs… Anything you want me to know, I want to know, ok?”

It was another long moment or two, before Raven saw some of that glazed darkness leaving Abby’s eyes, and when the haze finally seemed to clear, Abby replied, “I… I was thinking about your heat… I’m not sure I— No, I know I’m not gonna know what to do, that’s a fact… but there is one thing that I do know. You definitely won’t be able to push me out when my knot is sealing us together, and I… I can’t wait to feel you clenching around me like that…”

Abby’s words were like throwing gasoline on the embers of her desire, enflaming her mind with a sudden onslaught of images: Abby’s hips pumping in between her own, feeling Abby stretch and strain inside her, coming around Abby’s hot, hard length, having Abby explode inside her. She knew that without her implant she would be filled so full that there was no way Abby’s seed wouldn’t catch. She groaned as the images flowed through her, suddenly desperate for another round, and she flipped and flopped herself until she was half straddling Abby’s lap. Abby’s hand found her hip, trying to help her steady herself, but Raven didn’t need the help, quickly sinking down onto Abby’s thigh and pressing her own between Abby’s spread legs. Abby groaned then, as she dropped most of her weight on her good knee, and Raven delighted in the sound. Even still half-clothed, she loved that she could pull such reactions from Abby. She needed to rectify the half-clothed bit however, and quickly slipped her hands down to the waistband of Abby’s pants, tugging at the button and zipper. She shifted her weight again, trying to get Abby’s pants down without having to relinquish her position, but eventually, she slipped off of Abby to get them all the way down.

A brief flash of wonder poured over her though, as she thought about how Abby would change during her heat. Not that she didn’t know, she’d been with a female alpha before, but she couldn’t help being curious about what _Abby_ would look like, all dominance displays and surging pheromones, shaft standing proud against her thatch of dark brown curls. ‘Will she be long and thin, perfect for reaching those deep, places that felt so good? Or would she be thick and stout, stretching me to the absolute limit with her knot? Oh, god… what if she’s thick and long? _’_ Raven thought, as she fished Abby’s pants off her ankles, but as her eyes fixed on the dark stain on the center of Abby’s underwear, need quickly overpowered those thoughts. She figured that it didn’t matter what Abby looked like, as long as she was wet and wanting when they got there.

 

~~~

 

Watching Dr. Nyko Laurio put his hands all over Octavia was not the way Anya wanted to spend her afternoon. Thankfully, the good doctor seemed to be the professional sort, obviously noticing the fingernail shaped marks on the back of Octavia neck, but keeping his comments to himself. It had been a struggle to leave the room as he continued his exam though, feeling uneasy about Octavia being pretty much naked and alone with him. Ultimately, she knew that his exam was necessary though, and had simply settled in on the couch in the lobby to wait for the exam to be over. She spent every second she was alone, thinking about Octavia, and their night before, and their evening to come. The conversation she knew they needed to have loomed over her, making her feel more nervous as time went on. When Octavia finally came out from the back, all smiles and good news, Anya felt herself sigh in relief, and not just from the positive prognosis either. Being separated from Octavia, even for just a little while, made her feel anxious enough, but with Octavia by her side again, she decided not to dwell on that too much. She figured it was just an unpleasant side effect of being in love, one that she would gladly endure, as long as necessary, just to get to feel Octavia snuggled in against her side again.

When they finally made it to dinner, a few minutes late of course, because they’d gotten distracted, the group dynamic was far too interesting for Anya’s worries to get her down. It seemed that even though they were all sitting at the same table, having the same conversation, everyone had something else on their minds. She noticed how Clarke and Lexa seemed to orbit around each other as the night went on. She knew Lexa was trying to be subtle about it, but it was still pretty obvious that Lexa’s hand had been creeping up Clarke’s thigh the entire time they had been there. She was a little surprised when Lexa didn’t follow her obviously-aroused omega to the bathroom for a quick bit of relief. When Clarke came back though, not quite as flushed as before, but still tense, Anya sensed they would not be hanging around for very long after the check came.

When the conversation eventually turned to the marks she had made on Octavia’s neck, (Thank you, Clarke) Anya thought she might die of embarrassment, especially with the way Octavia preened under the attention. She barely got her hand over Octavia’s mouth before Octavia started in on explaining exactly how they’d gotten there. Octavia gave her a very confused look, like she didn’t understand what the problem was, so Anya just pulled her in close and whispered in her ear, “look at Raven.” She felt Octavia peer around the side of her head then, and a soft sound of exclamation reached her own ear. Anya had noticed it the second Clarke had opened her mouth, bluntly asking if Octavia ‘got those claw marks during the fight, or after.’ All the color had drained out of Raven’s face at that first mention of the marks, and as the moments had ticked by Raven had seemed to get further and further away from their conversation. Anya figured, at some point, Raven had become totally detached from reality. She didn’t want to think that hearing about their sex life would be that traumatic, but she also didn’t want to alienate Octavia’s friend any more than they obviously already had.

Thankfully, Abby turned the conversation again, asking if Octavia had been injured at all in the fight, and Anya smiled at her friend as she released her hold over Octavia’s mouth. Octavia launched into the story of their trip to Dr. Laurio’s office, and while Anya was embarrassed further by Octavia’s vivid recollection, especially the part about her getting huffy about having to leave the room during the physical, Anya couldn’t help watching Raven a little more closely than before. There was something obviously very serious going on behind those glassy eyes, but she just couldn’t figure out what. It didn’t help that she didn’t know Raven very well, but Anya still couldn’t put that far-off look on Raven’s face out of her mind, glancing over to check on her as Octavia went on and on about her bumps and bruises. Abby seemed genuinely worried about Octavia though, asking more questions, but Anya caught her glancing over at Raven every few words as well. When Octavia finally finished her story, revealing her clean bill of health to a round of applause, Anya smiled as she watched Abby lean over towards Raven and whisper in her ear.

Before she knew it though, Octavia was tugging on her arm, claiming she was tired and ready to head home. Briefly, Anya wondered if Octavia was actually tired; she certainly had every right to be. Even with the ten or so hours of sleep that they’d gotten, Anya could tell Octavia was still feeling the fight, occasionally grunting or groaning when she moved too fast. She silently hoped that Octavia was still feeling their escapades from after the fight too, secretly thrilled to think that Octavia could still feel the places Anya had touched her, even almost a day later. Octavia’s exaggerated stretch and yawn routine was easy-to-read however, so Anya quickly got up to follow her towards the front of the restaurant, actually looking forward to getting on with their evening. She’d had time to plan, sitting on the couch in Dr. Laurio’s waiting room, and she felt ready… or, at least, as ready as she was going to get.

Lexa and Clarke weren’t far behind them, with Raven and Abby taking up the rear, as they all spilled out onto the sidewalk. Octavia didn’t let go of her hand as she said her goodnights to the others. It made it a little awkward, forcing her to shake hands with her off hand and offer half-hugs, but Anya couldn’t help but smile and laugh, as Octavia all but pulled her away from their friends, calling out over her shoulder, “Thanks again for dinner, Clarke!”

Pleased that they had opted to take her bike, if only for the convenient parking, it was only about a minute before Anya was swinging her leg over the seat with practiced ease, quickly steadying it for Octavia’s inevitable climb onto the back. However graceful Octavia was in the ring, she still hadn’t quite mastered mounting the back of the bike without swaying all her weight heavily to one side. Not that Anya minded, especially when Octavia eventually settled in behind her, clinging to her like her life depended on it. The truth was it did, but still it felt nice to have Octavia’s arms wrapped around her nonetheless. There was an inherent trust that went in to the action, one that made Anya swell with pride every time. It was obvious Octavia trusted her, now if only she could trust herself.

That was part of what they needed to talk about, or frankly, why they needed to talk at all. Anya didn’t feel like she could trust herself around Octavia, scared she would hurt her and lose that trust that Octavia had instilled in her. Octavia’s scent was maddening at the best of times, and there had been a few occasions where it had nearly overwhelmed Anya’s good sense. The noises Octavia made didn’t help either; that needy whimper, that husky moan, that almost pained groan. Those noises did something to Anya, making her want to pull them from Octavia’s lips over and over again, until no more sound would come out at all. The way Octavia looked at her as she fell over the edge, was just another thing that drove Anya wild, her glassed over and filled with passion. Anya wanted to see that look every day if she could.

There was too much to risk though, trying to leave things the way they were. Anya couldn’t risk losing Octavia over something as silly as not knowing whether she liked anal or not, or whether she would even try it or not. Not that anal was something that Anya was particularly into, at least not when she wasn’t with an omega while they were in heat, but if it was something Octavia wanted to try, she’d be more than willing to satisfy that want. She’d do just about anything to please Octavia really, including tone things down if she needed to, especially if that was what Octavia wanted.

Relieved when they finally pulled down into the parking garage, Anya was reaching up to unbuckle her helmet before she had even finished putting down the kickstand. Octavia was off the back just as quickly, but Anya noticed she didn’t immediately move to remove her helmet. She shot Octavia a puzzled look when she finished removing her own helmet. She turned to set it down on the seat of her bike, but when she turned back towards Octavia, Anya found her a good step or two further away from her than she expected. There was a tension rising in the air between them too, and that unsettled Anya even more. She opened her mouth to speak, but not sure what to say, she buttoned her lips back together, and simply opened her arms, hoping Octavia would take it for the invitation that it was, hoping she would just accept the comfort being offered to her.

Octavia did take a step forward, obviously drawn towards her, but Anya winced when Octavia stopped herself a step short, reaching out to brace herself against her shoulders instead. The contact drove Anya back a half step, mostly because she wasn’t expecting Octavia’s weight to hit her so high, but she recovered quickly, grunting as she finally said, “U-Octavia, what’s wrong?”

The mask and helmet muffled the sound, but Anya heard the pain in Octavia’s voice loud and clear as Octavia said, “Oo cod hav jus sad sum-in?”

If it weren’t for that pain Anya would have laughed; she nearly did anyway, reaching out to flip open Octavia’s mask as she said, “Care to try that one again?”

The tears in Octavia’s eyes shrank as the air pressure changed inside her helmet, but Anya could still see them glistening in the corners, as Octavia sniffled, “You— you were tense the whole way here. If you… if you didn’t want me to come home with you tonight, y-you could have just said s-something.”

Those tears were back in full force by the time Octavia was finished speaking, and Anya felt like she might be crushed by the weight of them if they actually fell. She moved then on instinct, pulling Octavia close to her chest, whimpering slightly when Octavia thrashed against her hold. After only a second of struggle though, she let Octavia go, kicking herself for treading so carelessly over Octavia’s boundaries, physical and emotional all at once. This was exactly what she was afraid of, not knowing what Octavia needed when she needed it and screwing things up between them because of her ignorance. She was apologizing before her thoughts had time to form actual sentences, so her words ended up coming out all jumbled as she said, “O, no, I— I just… and now you’re… I’m… I’m sorry.” She paused to breathe, trying to get her thoughts in order, but again, before she was ready, she just blurted out, “This is exactly what I was afraid off.” Octavia’s eyes turned from sad to confused in no time, and Anya huffed a sigh, thinking, ‘Great, now I get to explain all this right here in the middle of the parking garage.’ She could see Octavia trembling though, those tears still threatening to fall, and Anya realized that whether those tears fell or not, depended on her next words. She took a deep breath and finally said what she had meant to say so many times over the last few weeks, “I want you here, I do. It’s just… I can’t keep doing the things I do to you without knowing what your limits are. It’s… it’s not right. I don’t want to hurt you…”

Octavia’s expression changed rapidly again, but Anya didn’t get time to process the new look before Octavia was pressing into her chest once again. Anya laughed, she couldn’t help it, as Octavia sank into her body, obviously relieved as well. It was a bit awkward, what with the face mask of Octavia’s helmet digging into her collarbone, but Anya didn’t let go until Octavia did, allowing her omega to pull back and take the space that she needed. When Anya looked down at her then, she noticed that Octavia’s tears had finally fallen, but the smile on her face made the tear tracks down her cheeks seem utterly unimportant by comparison. Octavia pressed up on her toes then, obviously seeking Anya’s lips but when Anya tried to accommodate her, her nose banged right into the still flipped up mask of Octavia’s helmet. Anya chuckled again, even though the sharp jab made her eyes water, because of course, Octavia wasn’t deterred, tilting her head further to the side and pressing up again. Anya maneuvered a little better that time too, and when their lips met, she sighed as Octavia’s tongue immediately sought entrance into her mouth. She stood there for a moment, letting Octavia kiss her like it was the only thing that mattered in the world. Eventually though, when Octavia started panting and whining into her mouth, Anya pushed lightly against her hips, silently indicating that they should go somewhere more private, before she let them get carried away in middle of the parking garage… again. They hadn’t been caught yet, but Anya didn’t relish the idea of someone walking up on them, especially when she was already on edge. She wasn’t sure she wouldn’t just tear their head off for interrupting, even if they were polite about it.

Thankfully, Octavia seemed to agree, finally pulling away far enough to remove her helmet. Anya couldn’t resist dipping in for one more kiss as she took it from Octavia, but she didn’t linger, quickly turning away to stow their helmets before leading Octavia towards the elevators. It seemed, at least for the moment, that the brief explanation she had given was good enough for Octavia, and they sank into an easily silence as they entered the elevator. The silence went on as the car climbed, floor after floor, until it reached their stop. She could feel the tension building again too, as they made their way down the hallway towards her door. Anya briefly wondered if it was Octavia who was nervous, or if it was her own nerves causing the strain. Before they managed to make it inside her apartment, Octavia’s hand found her own, squeezing like she needed something to hold on to, and Anya immediately understood. The nervous pressure between them was all Octavia, and she did her best to reassure her love, saying, “Don’t worry, O. I’ll explain when we get inside, ok?” She gave a little comforting squeeze to Octavia’s fingers when, in lieu of answering, Octavia just nodded shyly and fell into step beside her.

They made it the rest of the way into Anya’s apartment then, fingers entwined the whole way; through the kitchen, and then on to the living room from there. Anya only let go of her hand long enough to pour them both a glass of wine before taking it back into her own again. Soon after, they were settling in on the couch, both of their wine glasses already mostly forgotten on the coffee table. They were sitting close, side by side, but Anya felt like she needed to be able to see Octavia more than she needed to touch her. She quickly shifted, drawing one knee up onto the couch between them, trying to at least be physically comfortable, even as she grew more uncomfortable in other ways. Octavia wasn’t looking at her, hadn’t really looked at her since the parking garage, and that made Anya hurt, that Octavia was so nervous she couldn’t even look her in the eyes. She didn’t have to see Octavia’s face to know how uneasy she was either; Anya could smell the awkwardness polluting the edges of Octavia’s scent. Before it could completely sour from the anxiety, Anya reached out and took Octavia’s hand once again, this time saying, “Octavia, I just… I wanted to talk about the ride home last night. We, uh, haven’t really gotten a chance to discuss it and frankly, I’m worried about whether you enjoyed it or not?” She tried to keep her voice even and moderate, as if the conversation was completely casual, because she hoped that’s what this was; a casual conversation where they could come to some sort of arrangement, and then move on with the rest of their night, preferably testing some of the limits they were about to define.

Octavia’s sputtered reply caught Anya a little off guard, but only because of how enthusiastic it was, as Octavia half-shouted, “ShiT, babe… Is _that_ what you’re so worried about? That you didn’t totally rock my world last night? That you didn’t make me come so hard I probably ruined the upholstery in the passenger’s seat of my car?” For a minute, Anya was too stunned to reply, because while she was sure she had made Octavia feel good, or at least better than she had after their altercation with Tristan, hearing Octavia put it so… eloquently, shocked her a little bit. It seemed Octavia took her silence as a bad sign though, and Octavia’s free hand came up to cup her cheek as she added, “Anya, you did exactly what I asked you to do, and it was… it was incredible.”

The sincerity she could her in Octavia’s voice loosened something in Anya’s chest, something that had felt tight for far longer than just the last twenty-four hours, and she couldn’t help but sigh in absolute relief, finally feeling like she could breathe freely again. Unable to disagree, Anya nodded, knowing exactly what Octavia meant. It had felt like being on top of the world, commanding Octavia to touch herself, feeling Octavia’s desperation to come, and then finally allowing Octavia to take the release she had been so determined not to reach. The image of Octavia’s thighs closing in on either side of her face, squeezing her head, holding her in place, was just as vivid as it had been the night before and she struggled not to shiver as she felt herself twitch against her underwear. There were still things to say, things that needed to be worked out, and she couldn’t let her own need fuck this up either, so she quickly said, “That’s… that’s good to hear. I enjoyed it too, but before we go doing something like that again, I need to know that you know how to tell me to stop. The last thing I want to do is hurt you or do something that’s off limits.” Octavia looked at her then, like she didn’t even know what that meant, and Anya figured that was about right. Octavia’s inexperience was something that she had been wary of, but it was something she was ready to deal with too. That was part of her plan, and figuring there was no time like the present, she quietly implemented it, asking softly, “Do you know your colors?”

The blunt question seemed to throw Octavia for a loop, causing her to giggle and push at Anya’s shoulder as she said, “Of course, I know my colors, Anya. I’m young, but I’m not that young.” Anya just laughed along with her, pleased when Octavia visibly relaxed in front of her eyes. She took in Octavia’s easy posture, relishing in the feeling of Octavia’s warmth against her leg as they just sat and laughed together. It felt good, after all that tension, to just let it all loose for a moment, getting it out of their systems before moving on into more serious territory.

Even still, Anya’s laughter was the first to taper off, with Octavia following her only a moment later. She sat there staring at Octavia for a second then, evening herself out again before she finally said, “Well then, what do you think about, green for good to go, yellow to slow down, and red to stop?” The question seemed pretty straight forward to her, but Octavia still looked like she didn’t get it, so Anya decided to one up her explanation, hoping Octavia would agree to a little demonstration. “Do you trust me?” she asked then, smiling brightly as Octavia immediately started nodding.

“With my life,” fell from Octavia’s lips without a single bit of hesitation, and Anya surged forward to her kiss her as the words translated in her head. Octavia trusted her, _with her life_ , even when she didn’t fully understand what was happening. Octavia loved her, with her whole self, no matter what else she felt, Octavia _loved_ her. Octavia kissed her back too, but Anya didn’t let her control the kiss like she had in the parking garage, resisting the sweep of that hot tongue, opting to suck Octavia’s bottom lip into her mouth instead. Octavia’s head fell back slightly, as Anya captured that lip further, sinking her teeth into it. The sharp bite caused Octavia to brokenly moan against her lips, urging her onward, but Anya had a point to prove though and pulled away from Octavia’s lip with a wet smack. Octavia looked thoroughly put out by the loss of contact, but when Anya urged her to lie back, she smiled as Octavia complied anyway, her omega huffing lightly as her back hit the arm of the couch.

After only a moment though, Anya could tell Octavia was already getting impatient, scooching down, pulling at Anya’s shirt, trying to urge her into action, but Anya wouldn’t be rushed, not this time. She did lean over Octavia though, moving only as far as she needed to so that their faces line up. Octavia continued tugging at her, but Anya just brought her hands down to cup Octavia’s clenching fingers. “Arms up, over your head,” she commanded firmly but softly, her pupils blowing wide as Octavia’s fingers instantly released their grip on her shirt. Octavia’s arms shot up over her head too, and Anya reached up with one hand to secure Octavia’s slim wrists above her head, holding them down against the arm of the couch as she adjusted her weight. She brought her other hand down, moving Octavia as she pleased too, eventually positioning herself between Octavia’s spread thighs. Settling in on her knees, she leaned over Octavia again, using her hips to pin Octavia fully to the couch.

Her weight didn’t stop Octavia from trying to squirm anyway, and Anya simply delighted in the breathy little sounds echoing through the air, Octavia’s whimpering proving her need. The sounds almost broke her, but Anya clenched her teeth and brought her free hand to press down on Octavia’s hip, gruffly saying, “Do you need something, love?” Her tone was rough with her own need, but as Octavia squirmed underneath her again, she positively growled at her omega, “Use your words, or you’ll get nothing from me.”

That seemed to spark something in Octavia, but when she replied, Anya could hear the desperation in her voice as Octavia whispered, “please, Anya, _I want you_ …” It wasn’t quite what Anya wanted to hear, but she decided that easing Octavia into this was probably for the best anyway. She quickly rewarded Octavia, sliding her hand in underneath Octavia’s top to tease her bare stomach. Octavia’s back arched off the couch at the contact and she mewled and whined like it wasn’t enough. Anya knew it wasn’t enough too, but she purposely kept her touch light, just barely drifting her fingertips over Octavia’s skin, knowing she was driving Octavia a little crazy. She could feel Octavia’s muscles jerking and twitching under the strain of trying to simply stay still, while trying to feel more of Anya’s touch anyway. Anya desperately wished she could glance down and watch the way Octavia’s abs were jumping, but she kept her eyes fixed on Octavia’s face. She wanted to watch as her omega figured out how to get her to move on.

Smirking, hovering above her omega, Anya continued to tease until Octavia was whimpering like a needy mess. It was especially satisfying because essentially all she had done was pin Octavia down and tickle her. She pushed the envelope though as she swiped her fingertips low on Octavia’s belly, causing Octavia’s hips to jerk up hard against her pelvis. She chuckled at the reaction, asking huskily, “Is that your way of saying I can continue?” Her omega’s hips jerked up again, but she didn’t say anything, so Anya decided it was finally time to make her point. She dropped most of her weight onto her hips, completely pinning Octavia’s pelvis down with the added pressure. Octavia still tried to buck underneath her, but Anya just stretched her body out on top of Octavia’s struggling form, and said, “Ah ah ah, little O. Be a good girl for me… Tell me your color.”

Octavia’s eyes fixed on her own then, sparkling and shining, but this time not from tears. She looked so wanton, pupils dilated and vision hazy, Anya nearly gave in without a response, but she held herself still and waited. It seemed like it took a moment for Octavia to focus, but eventually, her eyes cleared and then Octavia nodded as she haltingly said, “I— I un-derstand. I’m good, Anya. Please… we’re green, so green.” Anya absolutely beamed down at Octavia then, driving her arm up under Octavia’s shirt, immediately grasping Octavia’s breast with a firm squeeze. She could feel the already stiff nipple underneath the fabric of Octavia’s bra and quickly pulled her hand back to grip that nipple in a vice-like pinch. Octavia moaned and surged underneath her, but Anya didn’t have it in her to reprimand Octavia for seeking more contact that time. She was too busy groaning as the heat of Octavia’s core met her own abs. She began pulling at Octavia’s probably already stinging nipple, trapping it between her tweaking fingers until she heard Octavia’s breath catch hard. She pulled just a little more then, and as Octavia’s body seized up, a choked, “yell-ow,” fell from her lips.

Instantly releasing her grip, Anya swiped her thumb over the fabric covered nub instead, moving in firm circles, rubbing away the sting. She tended the mistreated nipple until she was sure the burning had subsided, before moving her hand back down to trace little nonsense patterns over Octavia’s spectacular abs again. Octavia looked up at her with a goofy, open-mouthed smile as Anya said, “Good, Octavia, such a good girl for me. You’re doing so well, gorgeous. I think maybe you’ve earned a little reward, don’t you?” Octavia nodded so eagerly that their heads almost banged together, but Anya pulled away at just the right moment, narrowly avoiding taking Octavia’s forehead to her nose. She smiled though, because this was exactly what she wanted, Octavia eager to continue, Octavia willing to do anything to get her to continue.

That was what Anya wanted as well, so she shifted her weight off of Octavia’s hips and prepared to stand. She released her grip on Octavia’s wrists then too, smiling when Octavia kept them where they were, even without the pressure of her hand. Standing over Octavia then, arms up over her head, legs still spread and open to her, Anya almost gave in to the urge to cover Octavia’s body with her own once more. Instead, she simply reached out and grabbed Octavia’s hand, pulling her up off the couch in a swift motion. Octavia sagged into her grip, legs obviously shaky, but Anya just adjusted her stance to accommodate the extra weight.

They stood there holding each other for a moment before Anya began leading Octavia towards the bedroom, looking forward to giving Octavia her reward for good behavior. As Octavia trailed behind her, Anya could feel how on edge she was, Octavia’s hand trembling slightly as they crossed the threshold into her room. Anya hoped that shiver was all anticipation, and when she pulled Octavia around to face her and looked down into her eyes again, that hope became a reality. It was pretty obvious what Octavia wanted, and Anya was more than ready to give it to her. Not that she was going to make it easy on Octavia, but she definitely wanted to get Octavia naked, so she could play with her some more. If one or both of them got off in the process, that was just a bonus to Anya at that point. Of course, she had needs, and she knew Octavia wanted to come too, but drawing this new experience out seemed so much more important than the end goal. She just wanted to explore loving Octavia this way, and have Octavia enjoy every minute of it too.

Leaning down, bringing their faces oh-so-close together, Anya finally said, “I want you to take off all your clothes… except your underwear, and then kneel on the floor for me.” Octavia didn’t respond verbally, but Octavia’s submission to her was easy anyway; a little kiss to the underside of her jaw before Octavia looked down at her feet and turned away. The display had Anya’s alpha screaming to take Octavia and claim her, to make Octavia _hers_ , but Anya knew they weren’t there yet and tamped that urge down just as quickly as it rose. As Octavia sauntered away though, rolling her hips in an obviously teasing way, Anya couldn’t stop herself from saying, “Don’t dawdle now, little O, or I might have to punish you for taking too long.”

When Octavia’s head whipped around, she almost laughed at how dark her love’s eyes had become. Watching as her words drove a hard shiver down Octavia’s spine, it was clear to Anya how much the idea of punishment appealed to Octavia, but that wasn’t really want she wanted. She wanted that easy submission Octavia had already offered her, and as Octavia quickly began to strip, she smiled, relieved. She wanted to ‘consult the oracle’ anyway. Sure, she had her previous experiences as a base line, and she had her more recent forays with Octavia to go on too, but even with as much confidence as Anya had, she knew that finding more information would only make their play safer. She was sure googling something like ‘sexual punishment,’ or ‘sexual domination,’ or even ‘breath play’ would be like navigating a minefield of possible computer viruses, but it was a risk she was eager and willing to take, especially if it meant establishing a deeper connection with Octavia.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Anya focused just as Octavia sank to her knees. Her smiled widened as she took in Octavia’s demeanor. Her eyes were fixed on the floor in front of her and her hands were folded neatly in her lap. She was clearly waiting for more instructions. Anya praised her as she crossed the room, whispering a simple, “good girl,” before she brought her hand down to cup Octavia’s jaw. When she tipped Octavia’s head up to meet her gaze, Anya could tell her omega was teetering on the edge of sanity; pleased anticipation evident in her wide smile, but there was a hungry sort of desire residing in her eyes. “God, look at you… so perfect, so gorgeous… delicious even. I could just eat you up,” Anya continued, circling around behind Octavia as she spoke, moving her hands to rest on Octavia’s low shoulders. She braced herself slightly on those strong shoulders as she bent down to whisper in her love’s ear, “actually, I think I might do just that… I do love it when you come in my mouth.” Anya thought for a moment, about having Octavia move up on to the bed for this but quickly thought better of that idea. The rug burn Octavia was sure to get while riding her face would make things more interesting. She knew she had something in her repertoire to rub into Octavia sore places when they were done anyway. Deciding that was exactly what she wanted, Anya husked, “Sit up on your knees, baby girl. Spread’em nice and wide for me. You’re gonna show me how much you want your reward… Do a good job convincing me, and I’ll let you come, but come before I tell you to, and it’ll be the only one you have tonight.” Anya hesitated, not sure if she should push it, but ultimately decided to go for it, ending her tease with, “Or… for the next week, for that matter.”

The shiver that ran down Octavia’s back at those words was obviously part pleasure, and part shock. She felt Octavia’s muscles stiffen under her hands, even as the rest of her trembled, and Anya knew instantly what Octavia was thinking about. They had had sex, at least once, every day since their first night together. Clearly, the idea of going a whole week without that release, without that connection between them, had Octavia frozen in place, torn between moving to obey and whining in despair. Thankfully, Octavia’s hesitation only lasted for a second, before she pressed into Anya’s hands, shifting up onto her knees. Octavia settled down again as she spread them, nice and wide, exactly as Anya had instructed. As the cooler air of the room slipped down in between Octavia’s legs, Anya felt her squirm, her hips twitching forward, already seeking friction. Anya could help herself but to ‘reward’ Octavia for that little slip of impatience. She let her hands drift down Octavia’s back, all gentle and soft, at least until she reached Octavia’s butt. Then, she dug her mostly blunted nails in to the seat of Octavia’s underwear, dragging the fabric along with her, until the elastic waistband snapped back down. She pressed in closer to Octavia’s ear too, growling when she got close, “You don’t move ‘til I tell you to move, either. That’s how this works. You’re mine to do with as I please, right?”

It seemed like a very long time before Octavia could respond, but Anya smiled when Octavia finally managed to husk out, “Y-Yes, A-alpha. I’m sorry. I’ll be good… I— I promise.”

Utterly pleased when Octavia went stock still in front of her, Anya balanced Octavia’s submission with a little praise, quickly saying, “Good girl, little O… You’re gonna look so gorgeous riding my face. You always do…” The resulting shiver that ran up Octavia’s spine had goosebumps forming all over her skin, and Anya couldn’t resist slipping down into the floor behind her to run her hands all over that puckered flesh. She brushed her hands over Octavia’s sides at first, trying to make her intentions clear, before bringing her arms around her omega’s body to cup Octavia’s bare breasts. Palming them in her hands, she groaned as she felt Octavia’s nipples stiffen under her touch. She tried to keep the contact light though, wanting to be more promising than maddening. She still wanted to check in one more time, to reinforce Octavia’s ultimate control of the situation. She brought her lips to Octavia’s shoulder, kissing her back way up to the sensitive place just below Octavia’s ear before she whispered, “we still green, good girl?”

“Yes, Green… Please… I want—” was as far as Anya allowed Octavia to get before she drove her one of her hands south, cupping Octavia over her underwear. The resulting whimper from Octavia drew a deep groan from Anya’s chest. She could feel Octavia fighting the urge to rock forward into the contact, and even though it took some obvious force of will, she smiled as Octavia managed to keep herself still.

Bringing her lips to Octavia’s skin one more time, Anya whispered against her throat, “Shhh…  You’re gonna show me what you want, little O. Don’t you worry about that.” Anya purred as she felt another shiver roll down Octavia’s spine, but she didn’t allow herself to linger, pulling away instead, despite the desperate whine that broke from Octavia’s throat. She shifted quickly onto her back and wiggled up underneath Octavia, until all she could focus on was the dark stain in the center of Octavia’s underwear. She was suddenly very glad she’d had Octavia keep her briefs on. She wasn’t sure she wouldn’t have come herself, just from the sight of Octavia, wet and wanting and open, hovering right above her. Once she was past that initial wave of desire though, she noticed how Octavia’s thighs were trembling. Either in anticipation or tension, Anya wasn’t quite sure, so she brought her hands up to rub over those shaky muscles, gently easing Octavia’s knees a little further apart, bringing Octavia that much closer to her face. She glanced up Octavia’s body then and the look on her omega’s face was full of awe and excitement. It seemed like all Octavia needed was somewhere to anchor herself then, so Anya brought her hands down to her omega’s calves and encouraged Octavia to nestle her feet into her arm pits. With Octavia maneuvered into a comfortable position, she smiled up at her and said, “Alright, gorgeous, time to show me what you’ve got… Ride me…”

Octavia sank down onto her face almost immediately. Anya barely had time to suck in a quick breath of air before she felt Octavia’s heat meeting her lips. With the fabric still between them though, it seemed like Octavia couldn’t get enough, well, _anything_. Not enough heat, not enough friction, not enough pressure, and Anya moaned against her as Octavia rode her face, hard and desperate right form the start. Anya kept her eyes up, looking past the waistband of Octavia’s underwear, and her rolling abs, and her heaving breasts, to watch Octavia’s face as she pushed herself down over and over again. She was like a wild mare, bucking and running, tearing across the fields of Anya’s face. The choked moans and delighted whimpers coming from Octavia’s mouth were muted by Octavia’s thighs against her ears, but Anya didn’t really need to hear them. She could feel the vibrations of those sounds, tingling against her tongue, ricocheting around in her head, sending sympathizing pulses straight to her own sex, throbbing in time with the twitches of Octavia’s clit.

It was obvious how incensed Octavia was, falling into that harsh rhythm so fast, forcing Anya’s tongue to drag roughly over her clit again and again, but Anya added some pressure of her own when Octavia seemed to get too comfortable, not wanting Octavia to get too close too fast. The little interruption caused Octavia’s rhythm to falter, drawing an absolutely wild sob from her mouth as she teetered back from the edge, but Anya was pleased when she didn’t stop altogether. Octavia seemed to simply change tactics instead, slow rolling her hips until Anya couldn’t take any more of the teasing pace and encouraged her to go faster, firmly flicking her tongue against the swollen sex above her. Breathy moans and pleas of desperation filled the air then, but in her current position, all Anya could really hear was the urgency in Octavia’s voice, calling out her name like a supplication.

Still not ready for Octavia to come, the moment Anya felt her shudder above her, she pulled back. She hadn’t even realized that she was pressing up into Octavia until she relaxed her neck. She took a second to rest those sore muscles, but she found herself surging upwards again only a moment later, needing to ease the way Octavia’s breath hitched at the sudden loss of contact. She didn’t use the same amount of pressure or re-adopt the same harsh rhythm, sure that Octavia wouldn’t be able to stop herself from coming if Anya treated her too roughly at the moment. It’s not like it was exactly a hardship to suck open-mouthed kisses against Octavia’s still fabric-covered sex instead.

More of Octavia’s weight dropped onto her face, and the muffle of Octavia’s thighs fell away from her ears as Octavia’s knees moved outwards against the rug. She nearly winced at the pained hiss that Octavia released, but when Octavia just rocked down harder against her lips, Anya knew she’d made the right choice about the rug burn. Obviously, Octavia was enjoying the burn as much as she was hating it. It was that pained hiss and the frantic rhythm that followed that finally told Anya that Octavia was beyond ready for her reward. If Octavia was willing to chase her mouth with her knees burning the way they surely were, then Anya was more than willing to let her come for her efforts. She had one more trick up her sleeve though; it was the reason she had had Octavia keep her underwear on in the first place. She wanted to literally rip them off Octavia, knowing that the aggressive, possessive gesture would drive Octavia past the point of no return.

Keeping her lips sucking against Octavia’s clit, she brushed her hands up along Octavia’s legs, leaving their resting place against the back of Octavia’s straining calves and moving up to bracket her hips instead. She didn’t try to guide them though, letting Octavia have whatever staccato rhythm she was trying to keep up. She was too intent on getting her fingertips in underneath the fabric of Octavia’s briefs to think about trying to control everything that was happening anyway. Once she had a firm grip, she twisted the fabric in her hands and used the fabric to literally push Octavia up off of her face. The fabric drew up tight against Octavia’s sex too, and Anya moaned as the shape of Octavia’s clit became crystal clear. It twitched, right in front of her face, like it knew she was there, and it knew what she was going to do. The sound Octavia made then was pure frustration, a keening whine so desperate it was both beautiful and painful, all at the same time. Anya’s heart wrenched, and her hands clenched, and then a whole new sound filled the air.

The popping of stitches and the ripping of fabric was probably the most satisfying thing Anya had heard all night, especially when Octavia’s breath hitched harshly again shortly thereafter. As Anya chucked the ruined fabric away, Octavia went totally still above her. The tension was arcing along Octavia’s muscles; Anya could see it traveling from place to place along Octavia’s body. There was another hitch of breath and then a twitch rolled over Octavia’s stomach. There was a shiver and then a drop of wetness hit Anya’s face; it was _overwhelming_. In that moment, Anya had no control left, not over herself, not over Octavia, and as she surged forward again, desperate and frantic herself. All she managed to say was, “Com—” before her tongue sank into that wanting, waiting heat. The sound didn’t end though, she hummed the rest right into Octavia’s sex; her nose rubbing against Octavia’s clit as she curled her tongue, trying to draw herself deeper into that sweet darkness. A moment later, a flood washed over her face, running down her jaw with every clench and shudder of Octavia’s walls. Overwhelmed by the sheer volume, Anya clasped her hands onto Octavia’s hips, surely leaving bruises as she held Octavia against her, but she curled and lapped and sucked until every last second of Octavia’s orgasm had finished, feeling like she’d never get enough of that sweet release.

There was a thump and then a sigh, and Anya suddenly found Octavia’s quivering abs staring back at her. Thoroughly impressed, Anya realized that Octavia had managed to hold herself up on just her knees that whole time. Octavia winced and hissed as she tried to shift her weight though, and Anya knew she needed to get Octavia off her knees, sooner rather than later. She quickly moved to slide out from underneath her, gently guiding her omega over onto her back once she was out of the way. A soft smile met her eyes once she got Octavia settled, and without wiping her face, Anya swooped in to kiss that smile, too eager to reconnect with Octavia to think about the mess of come that was surely still covering her face. She found herself groaning into their kiss though, as Octavia hungrily slurped at her lips and tongue, and then her cheeks and chin and jaw. Octavia was obviously enjoying the taste of herself all over Anya’s face, and Anya kissed her right back, fevered and heated. They went on like that for several minutes, trading nips and licks until it seemed, at least to Anya, that Octavia had cleaned her entire face. “God… Good… good girl, O. You. Were. So. Good,” Anya panted against Octavia’s lips when they finally pulled apart, only to lean back down and take them in one more, brief peck. When she opened her eyes again, she found Octavia looking up at her, half-exhausted. She figured they had probably had enough for one night, so she quickly added, “Now, let’s get you cleaned up too, and then we’ll be ready for bed, huh?”

For a moment, Octavia just blinked at her, clearly not really understanding what she was saying, but eventually Octavia nodded, eeking out a whispered, “ok,” as a response. Scooting back on her knees, Anya managed to scoop Octavia up off the floor and into her arms bridal-style. Getting up from there was a bit of a struggle, but eventually she got control over Octavia’s nearly-dead weight and managed to stand. She brought them over to the bed and gently transferred Octavia down onto the mattress, kissing Octavia once more before pulling away again. Hearing Octavia whimper, Anya said, “I’m coming right back, I promise,” before slipping out of the room. She made her way down the hall with efficiency, not wanting to be away from Octavia any longer than she had to be. She grabbed three clean washcloths from the linen closet, and then made her way back to the bedroom. She smiled as she crossed into the room though, catching Octavia watching the door for her return. Octavia was wearing this ridiculously goofy smile herself, and the affection Anya could see there made her grin widen. She hustled through the room though, moving to the bathroom to wet the washcloths, two with cool water and one with warm. She grabbed the homeopathic burn cream she kept in the medicine cabinet to treat friction burns and a pair of scissors too, thinking that cutting the remains of Octavia’s underwear off might be easier than trying to pull them down over Octavia’s legs.

Finally returning to the bedroom again, Anya found Octavia curled up on her side that time, watching the bathroom door for her, and she couldn’t help but feel like her heart skipped a beat. Octavia’s stare was so open, so excited even, that Anya didn’t hesitate, quickly moving back into the room with her supplies. Octavia rolled towards her as she moved around the end of the bed, eyes fixed on the items in her hands. Anya made a show of setting the three washcloths and the little jar of balm off to the side, intent on removing the remains of Octavia’s briefs before doing anything else. She saw a little flash of heat in Octavia’s eyes as she brought the scissors into her field of view and Anya filed that reaction away for later, already planning their next scene before the current one was even over. She smirked as she leaned over Octavia then, nearly drooling when the first snip made Octavia moan. Each cut made a little shudder travel through Octavia’s muscles too and Anya couldn’t help herself, drawing out removing the largest remaining piece of fabric, lightly running the side of the blades over the exposed skin of Octavia’s hip before making the final snip at the waistband. Octavia was squirming by the time she was done, and Anya was tempted to just bury her face between Octavia’s thighs again. She wanted to make Octavia come over and over, taking turns between aftercare and orgasm until the sun came up, but unfortunately, she knew they both had things to do the next day, work and class and training. Honestly, she couldn’t afford to be late for work… at least not again.

Resisting that urge proved to be all that much harder when she started to pull away and Octavia released another distressed whimper, but Anya managed, running a soothing hand over Octavia’s side as she quickly discarded the ruined briefs and scissors. She picked up the two cool washcloths and turned back to Octavia as she whispered, “these are for your knees. taking the heat out of the burns will help.” Despite being warned Octavia still flinched as Anya placed the first cloth against her skin, but when Octavia didn’t complain, Anya cupped the second one over her other knee. She urged Octavia’s legs up and open then, shifting the cloths so they would stay without Anya having to hold them. Keeping her eyes on Octavia, she leaned back towards the nightstand again, scooping up the warm washcloth instead. She unfolded it so the still hot center was exposed as she said, “And this one is for the mess you made.” She gingerly settled herself between Octavia spread knees, smiling when Octavia’s legs splayed wider to accommodate her. Even after all that pleasure and pain, Octavia was still more than willing to open to her. Octavia looked so beautiful like that too, laid out before her, awaiting her touch.

Not wanting to deprive Octavia in any way, she quickly checked the washcloth to make sure it wasn’t too hot before swiping it up the inside of one of Octavia’s thighs, wiping away the still-slick come covering Octavia’s skin. She repeated the motion on the other thigh, before finally swiping the cloth over Octavia’s still flushed folds. Octavia squirmed slightly at the contact, but as Anya continued her gentle yet thorough cleaning, Octavia seemed to relax into the softness of it all, sighing and sinking deeper into the mattress. With one last swipe, Anya pulled away again, smoothly lifting the cool cloths off of Octavia’s knees as well, before setting all three back on the nightstand. Octavia seemed like she was already half asleep, even though her eyes were still open, and Anya had to say her name twice before Octavia finally focused on her. “I’ve got a salve for your knees too. You’re not allergic to anything right?” Anya asked then, realizing that she should probably ask questions like that before rubbing anything into an essentially open wound.

Smiling as Octavia shook her head, Anya was already opening the jar when she heard Octavia reply, “I don’t think so, but uh, I am sensitive to… latex.”

Intrigued, Anya thought, ‘Well, that’s good to know.’ It was a very good thing that most of her toy collection was glass, but she made a mental note to invest in some silicone options too, in case that was something they wanted to try. Now that she had a way to introduce Octavia to new things, she was actually looking forward to strapping up for a round or two of hard fucking. Her fingers were long, and she had a fair bit of reach with her tongue too, but just thinking about bending Octavia over and stuffing her full made Anya feel dizzy. The idea of doing that while Octavia was heat, feeling Octavia clench down around her own flesh, almost made Anya gasp. She quickly shook off those thoughts though; that would be an adventure for later, so she simply said, “Latex sensitivity noted... Now, this shouldn’t sting or anything, so just try to relax.” She scooped a little bit of the balm out of the jar with two fingers, maybe only a quarter-sized dollop, and then set the jar aside again. She spread the ointment over her hands, making sure they were well coated, before she reached out for Octavia’s raw-skinned knees. The relieved sigh that slipped from Octavia’s lips was good to hear as she rubbed the balm in, being sure to keep the pressure light, not wanting to cause Octavia any discomfort but still working the mixture into her skin.

When she finished, Anya’s hands were still sticky, so she reached over for one of the still mostly-clean washcloths. She wiped the excess balm from her fingers and palms, being sure to get in between her fingers and wipe all the way down to her wrists. She took a quick sniff of her fingers then, trying to figure out if she still needed to wash them or not, but she immediately decided washing them would be for the best; that heavy herbal smell was still lingering on her skin. She didn’t want to leave Octavia’s side, enjoying the warmth radiating off of her too much, but she had a feeling if she didn’t wash her hands, she would regret it. Inevitably, she would forget it was there and rub her eyes, or rub them over some other sensitive place, and end up with more of a burn than she bargained for. However reluctantly, she slid out from between Octavia’s knees and made a beeline for the bathroom, taking the soiled washcloths with her. She quickly dumped them in on top of the laundry hamper, before setting about getting her hands thoroughly cleaned and dried. She gave them another quick sniff when she was finished and smiled when she only detected the slightest hint of the balm.

When she returned to the bedroom, Octavia was watching for her again, but this time when Anya came around the end of the bed, Octavia sat up, already reaching for her before she was even close. “Why are you still wearing clothes?” was all Octavia said then, but Anya knew what she really meant; ‘Why haven’t you let me touch you yet?’ Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand and seeing that it was already after midnight, Anya simply sighed, resigning herself to long day the next day, and started to remove her shirt. She could go all day on no sleep; for Octavia, she could do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a side note, I had a very helpful reader comment that I've been misspelling a certain Latin phrase, and I'll be going back to fix that today. Somewhere in the back of my head, I think I knew I had it wrong, but I guess my fingers were just too far ahead of my brain to catch it. So, thank you gentle reader... I appreciate your attention to detail; your constructive criticism and glowing praise make me feel like a better writer. Thank you... :)


	36. The Second Triple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, after working 80 hours in six days last week, and using my one day off to prep meals for this next 80 hour week, I have chapter 36 for you all. There's laughing, and crying. There are some announcements; things you'll be expecting, and things you won't either. There are a couple dilemmas too. Generally, it's a fluffy, gloomy, angsty, and sort of smutty, chapter, one that I hope everyone will enjoy...

Since it had gone so well the first time, even though they had all been a little distracted, Abby thought it would be a good idea to make family dinners a weekly event. She knew they couldn’t all afford to eat out at a nice restaurant every week though, so she decided to offer to cook for everyone; a dinner party of sorts. Getting everyone together would provide an opportunity to make an announcement or two anyway. She figured she could make lasagna, a family favorite that also went well with wine; maybe, a salad and bread too. The bread would have to be store bought, Abby wasn’t much of a baker, but the Italian deli around the corner made their own, so that would be easy enough to pick up one night on her way home from work. It seemed like an easy enough evening to plan, if she could just get everyone to agree to the same night.

When Abby originally threw the idea out to Raven, she had expected enthusiasm, but the level of Raven’s excitement surprised her. Raven had almost skipped to her phone and immediately started texting back and forth with Clarke and Octavia. Fifteen minutes later, they had a plan; Sunday night at seven-thirty, at the townhouse. Of course, by six-thirty that evening, Abby already had the lasagna together and waiting on the counter, ready to just pop in the oven. When she’d started the dish at about two-thirty in the afternoon, Raven had teased her about how early it was, but Abby knew the sauce took time to make from scratch, and she was just trying to make it perfect. Later on, when she started meticulously layering the lasagna into the casserole dish, Raven gave her a hard time about how careful she was being then too, but when Abby finally whined, “I just want this to be right, ok? A dinner party doesn’t work without an edible dinner,” Raven laid off a little.

The kitchen was only quiet for a minute or two though, before Raven was offering to help her make the salad, saying, “The earlier we’re done, the more time we can spend pre-gaming before they get here.” The idea of enjoying a glass of wine before everyone got there was appealing, and honestly, Abby could tell that Raven had had enough of just sitting and watching her. There was an air of restlessness to Raven, and that was easy enough to understand. She knew how Raven didn’t like to feel useless, so Abby simply got down a second cutting board and put the onion down on top of it. Raven scoffed, saying, “Oh, of course, make me cut up the onion,” but Abby knew Raven wasn’t really offended, her tone was light and playful instead. They chatted back and forth a little as they cut up the rest of the vegetables, and it wasn’t long before they were enjoying that glass of wine. They had to set the dinner table while they were drinking it, but Abby didn’t mind; it was a nice moment anyway, bumping and laughing with Raven as they folded napkins and placed silverware and plates at each sitting.

They’d only just sat down themselves, when the doorbell rang, and Abby hustled downstairs to answer it, pleased as punch when she found Anya and Octavia standing on the stoop. She quickly ushered them inside, hugging Anya and even Octavia too before she took their coats. She was hanging them up in the closet by the door when she heard Anya say, “Nice place you got, Abby, even if I had to cross a bridge to get here.”

Rolling her eyes; a mannerism she had definitely picked up from Raven, Abby turned back toward her friend and found her snickering with Octavia. Mollified, Abby just said, “Yeah, well, if you find a place as nice as this for the same price on your side of the river, you let me know. I’ll happily sell you this one when I move.”

That was something else she had picked up from Raven; the playful banter she thought she had forgotten how to make, and when Anya smirked at her and barked out, “Yeah, fat chance!” Abby was too happy not to smile back.

Octavia was quiet as they made their exchange though, and Abby couldn’t help wondering if she was uncomfortable, not knowing where she fit in. Abby could fix that though, if she could just pull Octavia into the conversation. She knew that Octavia was quick and clever enough to join in, if she had somewhere to jump off from, so she turned her smile down at her and said, “Some kind of friend she is, huh? Though, I guess maybe I should be talking to the one who really wears the pants in your relationship?” She meant for it to be a joke, but it seemed her comment was a little too racy for Octavia, and all Abby got in way of a response was a sputtered chuckle. That was enlightening to say the least, making Abby wonder just how right she was, but when Anya just huffed and hawed, she couldn’t resist, turning her grin back at her friend as she said, “…and, don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, either.”

Being a doctor, Abby had taken all sorts of classes in college; one of which being about sex and relationships and the psychology of it all, and from what she’d observed between Anya and Octavia, she figured she was right on the money. Anya’s huffy demeanor was only reinforcing those assumptions too. Not to mention, all the times she’d listened to Anya talk about her previous partners. It was obvious that Anya like to be in control, and Abby could understand that too; there were many things that had happened in Anya’s life that she hadn’t been able to control. That need for order usually translated directly to her bedtime behaviors, but there something different about the way she was with Octavia. Something about Octavia called to Anya; something that made Anya want to give instead of take. Abby was glad Anya was listening to that call too, happy to see her friend happy. When Anya didn’t immediately have a witty response of her own, Abby decided not to comment further, knowing that her point had been made. Honestly, it felt a little too good to one up Anya to gloat over it.

Turning towards the stairs, Abby heard Raven shuffling around somewhere out of sight, but before she could spot her, the doorbell rang again. She instinctively glanced down at her watch and smiled again when she realized that Clarke and Lexa were right on time. She and Anya and Octavia all shuffled around in the entryway so that Abby could get to the door, but when she opened it, she was struck by the strangest sense of deja-vu. This had happened once before, many years before; Clark had gotten so caught up kissing her boyfriend at the time that they had bumped the doorbell by accident. Abby could instantly tell this kiss was different though. It wasn’t the frantic throes of teenage hormones. It was more like a tender reassurance between mates, and as Clarke and Lexa parted, Abby suddenly felt like she was intruding, even in her own house.

Lexa had the decency to look a little sheepish when their eyes met, but Clarke obviously didn’t feel the same embarrassment, brushing past Lexa as she stepped through the door, immediately pushing herself into Abby’s arms. Not that Abby minded the tight embrace, but her heart clenched as she thought about just how grown up Clarke had become. Even though she was out of college, an adult in her own right, with a job and bills and a life of her own, Abby still felt like Clarke was her little miracle, her baby, and now, her baby was growing up again, with a love of her own too. It was all the more bittersweet when she thought about having to watch another one of her babies grow up. She thought about the joys she was sure to share with that child though, and the benefits far outweighed the sacrifices she knew she would have to make. She was already trying to figure out how she could start spending less time at work anyway, and holding Clarke in her arms, thinking about the future only made her want that even more. She didn’t want to make the same mistakes she’d made with Clarke, missing so much of Clarke’s childhood because of her internships and residencies. She wanted to be home, so she could enjoy every moment she could get with the baby she and Raven were planning to make together.

Eventually, Clarke let her go, and Abby reluctantly loosened her hold on Clarke as well, trying not to get so lost in her thoughts that she made things awkward. Lexa stepped up into the house then too, and Abby pushed her lingering thoughts aside as pulled Lexa in for a hug too. “Lexa, it’s good to see you. Can I take your coat?” Abby asked, as she drew Lexa further inside, shutting the door behind her. It wasn’t cold out; fall hadn’t quite given way to winter yet, but Abby was sure if the wind blew just right, the draft would certainly drive up their heating bill. With thoughts of their new baby still swirling around in her head, Abby figured every little bit of money they could save would help. She wasn’t necessarily worried about it, but she remembered how expensive those first few years were; at one point, Clarke had grown so fast that they’d had to buy three different sized diapers all in the same month and those things weren’t cheap.

Getting Clarke and Lexa’s coats settled took only another moment, but by that point Raven had descended the stairs and when Abby turned back form the closet, she found the foyer completely filled with people. She caught Raven’s eye, just as Raven said, “Well, I hope we don’t have to spend all night in the entry way. It’ll be crowded in here once all the food is in here too.”

Laughing, Abby smiled up at her mate, about to suggest they move into the kitchen so she could get the food into the oven, but Clarke beat her to the punch, saying, “Speaking of… Mom, why don’t I smell baked, cheesy, garlic goodness right now?”

Clarke’s haughty tone almost made Abby laugh again, but she simply shook her head as she moved through the crowd to Raven’s side. Only once Raven’s hand was securely in her own did she answer Clarke, saying, “Well, since someone has a habit of showing up late, I thought I’d put it in once everybody got here… Why don’t we all go into the kitchen for a glass of wine, and I can get it started.” Clarke huffed in response, but the little exasperated sound only made Abby smile wider. She knew Clarke hated waiting, especially when food was involved, and she couldn’t help teasing her daughter about it either, quickly adding, “Relax, Clarke… You know it only takes about thirty minutes to bake. Surely you can stand hanging out with your family for that long.” Glancing back over her shoulder, she caught the soft smile gracing Clarke’s lips, and Abby smiled again too, her cheeks beginning to hurt from showing how happy she felt.

Being first into the kitchen, with Raven close behind, Abby quickly moved to preheat the oven and set the timer. When she turned to start setting up the wineglasses though, she realized Raven was already doing it, playing hostess like she had practiced the actions beforehand. She watched as Raven spun to the opposite counter to grab the bottle of red wine that they had already opened and another one from the rack built in under the cabinet. As she spun back though, Raven offered Abby the second bottle, and she gratefully accepted it, moving down the counter to grab the corkscrew from its drawer. As she opened the bottle, Abby listened to Raven and Clarke and Octavia catch up a little; Octavia talking about her finals and her classes for the next semester, Clarke talking about a series of pen and ink sketches she was doing for a gallery uptown, and Raven talking about the shop like business wasn’t booming, like they weren’t backed up because they had so many customers. She smiled when she heard Raven say they were looking to hire another mechanic though, because ultimately, she was the only one who truly knew why. Raven was planning for their baby too, already training her replacement for when she inevitably wouldn’t be able to be there for a while.

That thought brought with it the usual swell of emotions, worry and fear clouding her head for a moment, before she felt one of Raven’s hands meet her waist and the fingers of Raven’s other hand gripping her own around the neck of the wine bottle. Raven didn’t linger for long, obviously trying not to draw attention to Abby’s unease, simply pressing up to kiss her cheek, with a soft, “thanks, Abs,” trailing after her lips. Raven’s warmth was gone a second later, but the brief contact was enough to help Abby solidify herself again, and she slipped the corkscrew back into the drawer before turning to the crowd standing behind her waiting for their wine. Anya was watching her when she turned, because of course, Anya would be the one to notice her discomfort, but thankfully her friend didn’t say anything. The rest of the assembled crowd was too busy sorting out who got what wine glass charm to spot her awkwardness, so Abby just joined in, selecting her favorite from the ones remaining; the seahorse. The charms were all ocean themed in fact, a set that Abby had bought on her last trip to the beach. It had been one of those impulse buys she had picked up at the souvenir shop in town when she had really gone in to buy some sunscreen. Now that they were actually being used though, she felt pretty good about buying them on a whim.

The timer went off on the oven, startling everyone, but Abby was used to how loud it was, and quickly handed her glass charm off to Raven before turning to put the lasagna into the oven. As everyone else made their way into the living room to wait for it to be done, Abby excused herself and made her way back upstairs to grab the glasses of wine she and Raven had left in the dining room. On the way back, she took just a second to check herself in the mirror in the hall, and she smiled when she found her cheeks still a little flushed from all her smiling from before. That happiness carried her the rest of the way back to the living room, and she sighed when she found everyone all settled in on the furniture; Clarke and Lexa sprawled out on the chaise together, Anya and Octavia sitting close on the couch, and Raven perching lightly on the edge of their extra-wide arm chair. Raven started to get up when she came into the room, but Abby quickly crossed over to her and handed her glass before she could stand. She rested her empty hand on Raven’s shoulder then, not trying to hold her down, simply knowing that what Raven had wanted was the contact. When Raven looked up at her, a soft expression on her face, Abby just smiled and mouthed the words, ‘I love you.’ Loving Raven was still so new that she wasn’t sure she was ready to share it with everyone, but when Raven mouthed her words back to her, she felt like she could shout it for the rooftops. Raven scooched over to allow Abby some room to sit down beside her too, and Abby didn’t hesitate; she couldn’t resist an invitation like that.

Hearing someone cough and gag from across the coffee table, Abby’s eyes shot across the room, thinking someone might actually be choking, but before she could really focus, she heard Clarke whine out, “Ga-ross, Mom. If I’d known you guys were going be so lovey-dovey all night, I would have brought a barf bag.”

 Despite Clarke’s teasing tone, Abby suddenly she felt like she had done something wrong. For the first time since she and Raven had fallen into each other’s arms outside Raven’s repair shop, she felt truly guilty; guilty for loving someone that wasn’t Clarke’s father, someone that wasn’t Jake Griffin. It had been such a long time though, since they’d lost him, and even more since she had actually been in love with him, but still, she felt like she was betraying Clarke in some way. When she and Jake had first spilt up, Abby hadn’t even thought about who would come after him. Now that Raven had worked her way into both of their lives, first with Clarke and then with her, Abby couldn’t help but feel like she was betraying Jake a little too. All the baby talk with Raven wasn’t helping with those feelings either, making her worry that maybe she was just trying to replace him and the things she had missed by being bonded to him. She was sure Jake wouldn’t want her to be alone forever though; he would want her to finally move on with her life. She guessed that part of that was loving someone that wasn’t him. She hoped that part of it was also sharing that love with a child that wasn’t his too.

Feeling a hand squeezing her knee, Abby turned to Raven then, and found her enduring the wave of emotions Abby was surely forcing on her, with a soft smile on her face. It was a look that gave Abby confidence again, and she was responding to Clarke’s sarcastic remark before she even really thought about what she was saying, “Well, you better get used to it Clarke, because when the baby gets here, it’ll be ten times worse.”

Feeling nervous when she saw Raven’s eyes go wide, Abby watched as her mate looked over at Clarke, but when Raven’s face suddenly relaxed, Abby knew it was safe to look herself. She glanced over at Clarke then too, and was delighted to find Clarke smiling, beaming actually, a similar expression on Lexa’s face as well. It was Octavia who squealed though, startling Abby a little bit as she half-shouted, “Oh. My. God.” A small, compact frame collided with her side a moment later, but Abby laughed as Octavia began to crawl across her to get to Raven. Octavia ended up dumped out in the floor at her feet instead of sprawled across her lap, but Abby smiled when Octavia didn’t skip a beat, quickly righting herself as she continued, “Rae, is this the big news you’ve been hinting at all week? Oh! Or, are you guys getting married too?”

It was Abby’s turn for wide eyes then, because while she and Raven hadn’t talked about it, the surprise she had in her pocket seemed to pulse with heat just because she was thinking about it. She hadn’t told anyone, but she’d gone to the jeweler down the street from work on her lunch break the Monday before. She’d originally gone in just to look around, casually shopping for a Christmas present for Raven; something simple but beautiful, just like Raven. She’d thought maybe a pair of earrings or a necklace, but when she’d seen the interlocking bracelet set, she had instantly fallen in love with them. When she had the clerk pull them out of the case, he explained they were a meant to be a wedding set but would make a fine gift anytime of the year. The mention of their purpose was what had sparked the idea of marrying Raven, but the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to be tied to Raven in every way. Getting married would afford Raven certain legal rights that they didn’t already enjoy from being bonded too, but Abby knew that Raven wasn’t the conventional type and probably wouldn’t wear her ring even if Abby brought her the most expensive diamond in the store.

Actually, she didn’t think Raven would wear any ring she bought, but that was mostly because Raven worked with her hands and it would get in the way. Abby would only be able to wear hers when she wasn’t at work too, but she quickly realized that the bracelet set wouldn’t interfere with either of their jobs. The ones from the case were too big, but the clerk was happy to help her order a smaller size, claiming she could pick them up at the end of the week. True to his word, Abby had picked them up on Friday, also on her lunch break, and they had been burning a hole in her pocket ever since.

While Abby could only stare, struggling to not to blurt out what she was thinking, Raven seemed to take Octavia’s question in stride, immediately saying, “Well, O, I’m mostly just waiting for someone to ask me on that one.” That was a bit shocking too, but Abby couldn’t help smiling when she thought about how it would happen; standing with Clarke as they waited for Raven to walk down the aisle or just a simple courthouse wedding with a reception afterwards.

It would have been all too easy to get lost in those daydreams though, and she shook herself a little, trying to focus on the moment again. She wanted it to be special; asking Raven to marry her wasn’t something to do on a whim, but as she took stock of her surroundings, she realized that she probably wouldn’t find a better moment than the one she was in, so she simply said, “And, I was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to _ask_.” Slipping her hand into her pocket, like she had done a thousand times over the last two days, Abby finally pulled the bracelets out of their hiding place. The brushed bronze didn’t exactly shimmer like it would have if they were made of gold, but she still heard several gasps come from around the room. None of those sounds was as important as the little squeak she heard from Raven though. Going all out, Abby slid into the floor then, coming to rest on her knees beside Octavia, as she presented her treasures to Raven, softly adding, “What’s that old saying? No time like the present?”

For just a second, Raven seemed absolutely speechless, but to Abby, the silence seemed like it lasted forever. So, she was floored when Raven finally replied, leaping into her body as she declared, “Yes, yes… God, Yes!” Dinner was completely forgotten, the people around them were too, as Raven’s lips found her own. She could feel love and acceptance pouring into her from Raven, and Abby relished in it, doing her best to memorize every second of their moment together. There was a soft sniffling sound, coming from somewhere over her shoulder though, and when they broke apart, both a little breathless, Abby chanced another glance over at Clarke again. There were big, fat tears welled up in Clarke’s eyes, but there was an almost-happy smile on her lips too. Abby thought she knew what Clarke was feeling, just as conflicted as she herself had been only moments before, but when Clarke quickly extracted herself from Lexa and rose from the chaise, Abby didn’t know what to make of those tears in Clarke’s eyes. It seemed she didn’t need to worry though, her gaze meeting Lexa’s eyes for only moment before Lexa was dutifully following Clarke up the stairs.

 

~~~

 

Not exactly sure where they were going, Lexa simply followed Clarke to the second floor and then down a hallway a few steps before they reached door on the right. Clarke opened it and again, Lexa followed, catching up a step at the turn, and nearly running right into Clarke’s frozen back when she stepped into the room. She caught herself by placing her hands on Clarke’s hips, but when Clarke sank into her grip instead of shirking away, Lexa figured at least she, and her touch, weren’t unwelcome. Standing in the doorway still, Lexa took a moment to look around. All around the room, there were splashes of color and stark lines; paintings and sketches littering every surface. Some looked finished, but some were only half-finished. There were just as many that were scratched out and marked over, and even a few wadded up in a ball, taking up space on an already cluttered desktop. They were in frames, hanging on the walls and stacked up long-ways against the base. They were even piled up in one of the corners. Along one wall, there were two tall bookcases, filled to the brim with obviously used sketch books too. There was so much to look at, it was hard for Lexa to focus, but still, it was pretty clear they had just entered Clarke’s childhood bedroom, the place where she had lived for the first eighteen years of her life. Of course, there was a full-sized bed and a low dresser with a large mirror, and the two bookcases and the desk, but it was the easel that finally held Lexa’s attention.

The painting sitting on the easel was stunning; a vivid, lifelike depiction of Earth from space. Swirling white clouds veiled lush green continents and deep-blue oceans; ones just the color of Clarke’s eyes. The greens looked familiar too, warm and soft, despite the contrast to the blue of the oceans. Surrounding the sphere was a dark, yawning abyss, dotted here and there with little milky points of light. Lexa could easily make out the big dipper hovering just to the right of the Earth, and what was probably meant to be Sirius, shining brightly on the left. Some distant memory told Lexa that something wasn’t quite right about the constellation placements, but she didn’t dream of pointing that out. The painting was too beautiful for her to even consider things like that for long. She hesitated to leave Clarke’s side, but she wanted to take a closer look.

Actually, she wanted to touch it, to feel the texture of the paint and study all the little details with her fingertips, but Clarke’s voice broke her from her thoughts, a mere whisper, as she said, “I guess I’ll have to move all this down to the basement ‘til I get a bigger place.” The pain that Lexa could hear in Clarke’s voice was gut-wrenching, and before she really thought about it, she was crowding herself in behind Clarke, moving in close to wrap her hands around Clarke’s waist. Thankfully, Clarke didn’t seem to mind the sudden move, sinking into her arms like she was barely holding herself up anyway. Lexa shuffled them towards the bed then, glad when Clarke easily moved along with her, seating herself on the edge of the bed when they reached it. Settling in beside her, Lexa immediately wrapped her arms around Clarke’s shoulders and pulled her into her chest. Clarke fell into her embrace again too and was sniffling into her shoulder in no time. Instead of trying to soothe her with words, Lexa just held her for a few minutes, knowing that Clarke needed to get some of her emotions out before they tried to talk about what was bothering her.

Truthfully, Lexa already knew; Clarke was simply reacting to what they had just witnessed. For her part, Lexa was thrilled for Abby and Raven, a wedding and a baby and a life together. It was everything she could want for either of them. If she was being honest with herself, it was everything she could want too. She knew that she and Clarke weren’t ready for such steps, but she couldn’t help the little smile that tugged at her lips when she thought about Clarke standing in front of her in a white dress, declaring her love for all to hear. Even if they weren’t there yet, she found herself hoping for that one day anyway. She knew that if they were going to have that though, they’d have to actually take steps to get there. So, again, before she could really think about what she was doing, Lexa was whispering into Clarke’s hair, “Well, you know I’ve got that second bedroom…”

Her words seemed to shock Clarke a little bit, as Lexa felt her flinch in her hold. The sniffling against her neck increased again too, and Lexa grew worried that she’d overstepped. Maybe, Clarke didn’t want to move in with her, maybe she wasn’t ready for that, but then finally Clarke nodded, despite her tears. “I— I think I’d like that… i-if that’s what you want,” was eventually huffed out against her skin too, and Lexa sighed, relieved and overjoyed all at once.

“it is, Clarke, more than anything…” Lexa replied just as softly, her words coming out like a prayer and promise. That was just how she meant them too. As much as she would’ve liked being the one who had proposed earlier, she simply wanted Clarke with her every day, no matter how she could get her. The only difference was a piece of paper anyway. Of course, Lexa knew there were some legal protections and financial benefits that came with that piece of paper, but at least for the moment, Lexa would enjoy getting to wake up with Clarke every morning, knowing that she would get to fall asleep with her again when the day was done.

Eventually, the sniffling against her neck quieted again, and Clarke’s breath became more and more even with every inhale, until Lexa finally felt Clarke lips brush against her skin. It was obviously meant to be soothing and reassuring, but still, Lexa had to fight down the shiver that the contact caused. Of course, Clarke noticed though, pulling her lips away to say, “It’s good to know that even when I’m crying all over you, you still want me… but that’s not happening.”

Clarke’s teasing tone broke up some the tension that had risen between them, and Lexa laughed as she replied, “Yeah, well, what can I say?” The little nudge drew a watery laugh from Clarke too, but the moment turned increasingly more tender when Lexa quietly added, “except that… I love you…”

A fresh round of tears swelled in Clarke’s eyes, and Lexa felt them as they dripped down onto her neck. She knew they were happier tears though, when she heard Clarke parrot her words, a soft “I love you too,” filling her ears and her heart. They just sat there like that for a long time; Lexa wasn’t sure how long, but as Clarke’s tears dried up once again, and her lips returned to Lexa’s skin, she couldn’t really care either. Clarke’s lips started to make their way up to her own too, and Lexa sighed into it when Clarke finally pressed their lips together in a tender kiss. It was a little watery, Lexa feeling the remnants of Clarke’s tears still staining her cheeks, but it was perfect too; simple and gentle and calming, everything they both needed.

Eventually, Lexa pulled away, if only to breathe, but for the first time in several minutes, she finally got a look at Clarke’s face. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was flushed and a little sweaty. She was still so beautiful, even in her disarray, that Lexa brought them back together once more, unable to stop herself from finding those lips again. When they broke apart that time, Lexa could tell there something still lingering behind Clarke’s eyes though; a hardship Clarke hadn’t shared yet. Lexa thought about letting it go, figuring maybe they’d had enough of the heavy emotional stuff for one night, but she had a feeling it was something Clarke needed to get out. Clarke probably just didn’t know how to start. That assumption was proven true a moment later, when Clarke’s mouth opened, only to close again without a single word coming out. “It’s ok, love. Take your time…” Lexa said then, finally bringing her hand up to brush the last of Clarke’s tears from her face.

By the time Lexa had finished wiping them away, Clarke was smiling at her again and Lexa returned it, too in love not to mirror Clarke’s affection for her. There was still that sadness looming behind her eyes, but as Clarke swallowed, obviously preparing herself to speak, Lexa noticed a little glinting in them too, a hope she hadn’t seen before. “I— I just wish he was here to see all this. I think he would have been happy seeing Mom so happy,” was all Clarke said, but Lexa knew how hard just those two sentences must have been for her. Clarke fell back into her space then, pushing her way in against the side of Lexa’s neck again. Lexa welcomed her though, moving her arm back around Clarke to rub at her back instead of her cheek. She knew who Clarke was talking about the second she’d said ‘he.’ Clarke was thinking of her father, and the sentiment wasn’t totally lost on Lexa either. She had thought of her own parents several times over the last few weeks, pondering some of the same things Clarke was probably pondering. _Would they be happy for her, even proud of her? Would they like the person she had become? Would they like Clarke?_

The answers to those questions were ultimately unknown, but Lexa had a feeling they would be pleased just seeing her happy and in love. She couldn’t help thinking about her parents then too, about how she had loved them, and ultimately, about how she had lost them. She realized she hadn’t told Clarke much about her parents, only that they had died a long time ago. She figured that if Clarke was going to understand that she was right there with her, Lexa would have to finally tell that story. Pulling Clarke a little closer, Lexa swallowed against the emotional knot in her throat and when she felt like she could, she finally said, “I know it sounds cliché, but I know how you feel.” She felt Clarke bristle a little, but Lexa didn’t let that bother her. She knew how much those words could hurt, because while those words were meant to be soothing, it was still frustrating that someone else thought they knew what she was going through. She wasn’t going to let wounds from the past slow her down though, and she quickly continued, “I wonder the same things sometimes. Would my parents be happy for me? Would they be proud of me? Would they like you and the family I’ve found since they… since they died?” She took in a shuddering breath then, trying to pull herself together for Clarke, and when she eventually managed, she quietly added, “I— I blamed myself from their deaths for a long time. I pushed so hard to sleepover at Costia’s that night… I’ve thought about it a thousand times. What would be different if I’d stayed home? Would they have been in that car, at that same moment, if I had been with them instead of at Costia’s house? Would they be alive right now... or would I have been in the car with them? Would I be dead too?” Clarke clutched to her a little tighter at that, and Lexa knew her point was starting to sink in, but she also knew that there was more to say. She squeezed Clarke a little tighter too as she continued, “It took a few years, but it was Anya who eventually made me see sense. She said that I probably wouldn’t be able to enjoy being happy if I didn’t know pain, that without something to compare it to, happiness didn’t have as much meaning… and she was right. I’m a better person because of the things I’ve gone through. I’m here with you because of those things… I can enjoy loving you because I know what it’s like to not feel anything at all.” She paused again, her throat suddenly feeling tighter, but still she had one last thing to say, so she swallowed once again and finally concluded, “I— I try to remember that part of them lives on through me… and… and part of Jake will live on through you too, as long as you keep remembering him.”

After that, they were both quiet for a long time, but it was a peaceful sort of silence, one shared between two people both reminiscing about the past. Even though she and Clarke didn’t have much of a past, at least not together anyway, Lexa couldn’t help focusing on how her life had changed since she’d met Clarke. She had things to look forward to again. She had a future; she had a future _with Clarke_ , and as long as they had each other, Lexa thought they could overcome anything life threw their way. It seemed Clarke wasn’t as convinced though, when she heard Clarke mumble into the crook of her neck, “It’s just so much, you know… all the _improvements_ to the house, the stair lift and the new furniture… and, now they’re gonna get married and have kids. What if… what if I’m not ready for things to change?”

Smiling into Clarke’s hair, Lexa pressed her lips to the top of Clarke’s head as she formulated her response. She knew Clarke was looking for reassurance, and Lexa was more than willing to give it to her, she just wanted the words to be right when they came out. Eventually, she decided on a little brutal honesty, and she said, “I know you want this, Clarke. You know you do, too… I mean, you already love Raven like she’s family, and getting a little brother or sister out of the deal, what could be wrong with that? Besides… you’ll always have me to come to when things get rough. That’s not gonna change, I can promise you that.”

Clarke pressed ever closer as she spoke, so close that by the time she was done, Lexa could feel it when Clarke’s frown literally started to turn upside down. There was a little more sniffling, and a little more wetness dripped onto Lexa’s skin too, but after only a minute or two, she finally heard Clarke say, “Y-you’re right. I— I do want a brother or sister. I’ve always wanted that… and Rae already feels like family, but I’m definitely not calling her mom… not unless it’s just to mess with her.”

Laughing, Lexa gave Clarke one more squeeze before she began to extract herself from Clarke’s grip. When she could see Clarke’s face again, still tear stained and flushed, her first instinct was to kiss that lingering sadness away, to kiss Clarke until neither of them could think anymore, but she knew this wasn’t the place for that. Kisses like that would have to wait until they got home. She smiled when she thought about her apartment as their home, but she found Clarke’s doubts had twisted her feelings on that a little, and she couldn’t help but say, “Hey, you, uh, you don’t have to move in with me if you don’t really want that. I’ll understand if you want to wait until things are more… settled.”

Hearing Clarke’s quick scoff was a relief, Clarke obviously not liking that idea, but it wasn’t until she heard Clarke say, “I think that’s one change I’m definitely ready for,” that Lexa truly felt herself relax. She kissed Clarke then too; she couldn’t not, too overjoyed to really censor herself, and as Clarke met her move for move, shift for shift, she realized that, at least with Clarke, she didn’t need to suppress her urges. She just needed to tame them for the time being, just enough to get them home. She knew they still had to get through dinner though; it wasn’t like they could just leave.

For one, Lexa was hungry, and the smell of tomatoes and cheese and spices had started to permeate the air around them. Lexa felt like she was going a little crazy from how good it smelled. On the other hand, she knew that if they left without eating that would surely send the wrong message to Abby and Raven. She figured Clarke was probably calm enough to go back downstairs and try to enjoy their time together anyway. Maybe finishing that glass of wine from earlier would help Clarke smooth her edges out a little more too. In the end, Lexa knew she needed to let Clarke make that decision however, so she quietly asked, “Do still want to stay for dinner, or did you just wan—?”

“No… no, we should stay,” Clarke blurted then, interrupting her, but Lexa merely smiled. She was a little surprised by Clarke’s enthusiasm, but when she heard Clarke’s stomach give a light little rumble, she figured Clarke’s apparent excitement was more hunger driven than anything else.

Clarke, at least, had the decency to look sheepish about interrupting her, but Lexa just said, “It’s ok, love. I get it… Let’s splash a little water on your face before we go back down there though.”

That sheepish look on Clarke’s face became a little more unapologetic at her words, taking on a sort of smugness that told Lexa she’d said something she probably shouldn’t have. There was no time to take the words back either as Clarke quickly asked, “What are you trying to say, babe?”

Sputtering, Lexa tried to think her way out of the little hole she’d dug herself into, but ultimately, she knew there was nothing she could say to backtrack, so she just said the first thing that came to mind, “UH… well, h-honestly, you… you look a little like a sad raccoon right now…”

Clarke’s eyes widened, obviously shocked by her blunt, if shaky, response, but when she heard Clarke’s husky laugh, she figured her honesty was a least appreciated. What she wasn’t expecting was for Clarke to say, “Ha… Yeah, you’re one to talk, Miss I-smear-my-eyeliner-to-look-like-a-raccoon-on-purpose.”

“Hey!” Lexa squealed then, astonished. She took great care not to look like a raccoon actually. It was just that something that happened when she went a little overboard with the smoky eye look. Anya had teased her about before, and it was something she wasn’t looking forward to being teased about again. Of course, Clarke didn’t know about the weeks, if not months, of raccoon gifs and videos Lexa had endured at the hands of Anya. At one point, it had gotten so bad that Lexa had simply stopped opening messages from Anya altogether. The way Clarke was smiling at her was different though, and Lexa knew that Clarke was just trying to lighten the mood, so she smiled herself as she said, “I happen to know that you like the smoky eye look on me.”

“Oh, yeah? What makes you say that, huh?” Clarke said back quickly, playing along; playing right into Lexa’s hands.

Intentionally dropping her voice an octave then, Lexa husked out, “Because… It seems like someone can’t seem to keep their hands off me when we’re at the club… Hell, you can’t even keep your hands off yourself when I’m around, looking all dusky and mysterious.”

Huffing, Clarke looked a little perturbed, but that was obviously because she couldn’t argue with that. Still, Lexa smirked as Clarke admitted it, haughtily saying, “Yeah, well… I have trouble keeping my hands to myself whether you look like a racoon or not, so…”

“Oh… I know, and honestly, that’s one of my favorite qualities about you… you just take what you want, and sometimes, that’s exactly the push I need to get outta my own head,” Lexa replied quickly, not wanting Clarke to think that her voracious appetite was a problem. Actually, Lexa valued Clarke’s assertiveness probably more than Clarke knew. Since confessing her doubts about her own ‘shortcomings,’ Lexa had appreciated Clarke’s attentions every single night; a couple of times to the point of passing out.

Admittedly, it was a little disorienting, waking up and not remembering falling asleep, but each time, when she found Clarke snuggled up against her side, she couldn’t really complain. Clarke seemed to take her words as the compliment she meant them to be too, pressing their lips together for a quick kiss before she said, “I think you do plenty of pushing yourself, Lex. Don’t sell yourself short… If I remember correctly, you’ve coaxed me out of my shell a few times too.”

Smiling, loving the now flirty way Clarke was looking at her, Lexa pulled Clarke close again and whispered, “and, that’s just the way it’s supposed to be.” There was more to that statement, Lexa knew that, but she didn’t say what she was thinking. She didn’t have to; it was understood. There were a lot of things about their relationship that seemed meant to be; the changes in her life, as well as the ones in Clarke’s, the way they just fit together. It was all so surreal too, when Clarke merely sank into her arms. She knew that Clarke had heard her, had heard those words she didn’t have to say.

They sat there, just cuddling close, for a few more minutes before Clarke finally said, “Ok, I think I’m ready now.” Lexa nodded, pressing on more kiss to the top of Clarke’s head before releasing her. Clarke got up first, and Lexa assumed she was heading for the bathroom when Clarke didn’t move towards the door that lead back to the hallway. A light flicked on, and then Lexa could hear the water running, but when her eyes fell on the painting on the easel again, she got distracted. With the added light, she could see a lot more of the details about the Earth and quickly realized that maybe she was wrong about the constellation placement. She rose from the bed and moved towards the painting without a second thought. It was almost as if she was drawn to it, that she needed to _see_ it, needed to touch it. Before she knew it, she was running her fingers over the paint, feeling all the little ridges of the Earth. She picked out the Andes Mountains in the southern hemisphere and followed that line all the way up, across the Blue Ridge Mountains in the north. She considered the position of the Earth, and its tilt, and realized the stars actually seemed to be in exactly the right positions, like with an eerie sort of accuracy.

Apparently, she had been staring at the painting a lot longer than she realized too, as she heard Clark say from somewhere behind her, “It took me two years to get that one just right… It’s finished, but I just can’t make myself take it off that easel and mat it. I— it was supposed to be for my dad, for his office. He… he always loved space, said he would have lived there if he could… just so he could people watch.” Lexa tore her eyes away from the painting just in time to see Clarke moving back into the room, still speaking as she made her over to the easel too, “I always thought that was just a dumb-dad joke, because how could you watch people from that far away, but every time I look at this painting I think maybe that was the point. He wanted to watch the world go by, to watch over it, protect it… to watch over me.”

“It’s beautiful, Clarke,” was all Lexa could say in response, a little overwhelmed by the way Clarke’s words drudged through her own memories. Nights spent out in the back yard, pressing her eye to the eyepiece on her junior-sized telescope, asking her mom about Sirius and Polaris, and _Hercules_ and _Orion,_ learning everything she could about space. It was the place where her mom would disappear to for months on end, after all. It was such a foreign concept to her little ten-year-old self, that her mother could go to this place that seemed so dark and lifeless. True, there were those little specks of light scattered about, the stars lighting up the dark, but even they seemed to pale in comparison to the deep void of space. Honestly, the thing that baffled her the most, was wondering how her mother could even get there and back safely. It wasn’t until the eighth grade that she understood why her parents had never let her watch a shuttle launch before, when her science teacher had shown videos of _The Challenger_ accident from the Eighties. Trying to swallow against the lump in her throat, Lexa managed to eek out some of that story too, squeaking a little as she said, “My… my mom l-loved space too. She got in three trips, before… the accident.”

Before she even realized it, Clarke was inside her space, cuddling into her side again, comforting her, and Lexa sighed as her own emotions surged at the gesture. She wouldn’t cry; she willed herself not to, but it was a near thing, happiness and sadness melting together so evenly that she wasn’t sure if there was a difference between the two anymore. When Clarke pulled away to look in her eyes though, it was easy to tell where one began and the other ended. The answers were right there in those deep blues. Clarke was her light in the dark, and even if they weren’t always this close to each other, there would always be that connection, one that only grew stronger the more time they got to spend together. A beeping sound pinged somewhere below them, probably the sound of the oven timer, but Lexa couldn’t bring herself to end their moment. So many admissions had been made in the last few minutes, and she needed the time to just reflect on the things she had said and the things she had heard; the decisions that had been made. Unfortunately, it seemed that someone else didn’t have that same apprehension, as she heard a brief knock on the doorframe, followed by a soft, “uh, guys…” There was a brief pause then, before a different voice added, “…dinner’s ready…”

Finally tearing herself away from Clarke, Lexa looked over her shoulder, only to find Anya and Octavia watching them through the open doorway. Obviously, she and Clarke had been too deep into their own thoughts to even notice they were there. Feeling Clarke still clutching to her side though, Lexa simply said, “We’ll be right there,” knowing Clarke still needed just another minute. She got a brief nod from her cousin, before Anya and Octavia both disappeared past the edge of the doorway. Alone with Clarke once again, she quietly added, “it’s ok, love… we’ve got nothing but time… _time together_ …”

 

~~~

 

After Clarke and Lexa left, venturing off upstairs, a quiet tension started to fill the living room. It was so tense in fact, that Octavia found herself wishing she knew where a bathroom was, just so she could escape the heavy foreboding feeling that was making the air around them seem stuffy and stagnant. She was still standing sort of awkwardly off to the side, separated from the group after her enthusiastic scramble to hug Raven, and while she wanted to return to Anya’s side, she remained stationary. She felt the need to blot out the sudden awkwardness with Anya’s warmth, but she didn’t want to be the first one to break the silence that had fallen over them either. She glanced at Raven and Abby then, trying to gauge their reactions, but she looked away just as quickly. Seeing them comforting each other, fingers entwined as they stared into each other’s eyes, made her feel like she was intruding. Her eyes met Anya’s instead though, and despite the uneasiness of the silence, she drifted back over to the couch, trying to keep her movements as subdued as possible, even though all she wanted to do was rush into Anya’s arms. Anya seemed to understand her need though, immediately enveloping her in hug the second she sat down again. Octavia sank easily into Anya’s side as well, feeling like she could finally breathe now that she had Anya’s warmth back against her skin. It was like her embrace instilled a bit of confidence in Anya as well, as Octavia heard her say, “Congratulations, Abby… to you too, Raven.”

Nodding in agreement, Octavia finally found her own words again too. Even still, they were mostly just a parrot of what Anya had just said, as she mumbled, “Yeah, Rae, Congratulations.”

Raven’s reply was a little watery, a simple, “thanks, guys,” and then there was silence again, but Octavia could hear the sincerity in Raven’s voice as clear as day. She smiled as Raven and Abby seemed to come back from whatever depths they had ventured to, both blinking a few times before looking over at her and Anya. She could see tears glistening in Abby’s eyes, and one or two that had already trickled down Raven’s cheeks, but Octavia didn’t even think about teasing her about it; not when Raven croaked, “Your s-support means a lot to us.”

Smiling wider, Octavia opened her mouth to reply, wanting to say something smart, something to lighten the mood, like, ‘Yeah, just don’t expect me to be your flower girl,’ but Anya beat her to it, suggesting a toast instead. Octavia saw Abby flinch a little and wondered what that was about, but before she got a chance to really consider it, Anya was handing her wine glass as she said, “To fate, without which maybe none of us would be here.”

Raising her glass, Octavia met Abby’s and Raven’s eyes in turn, before she finally took a sip of her wine, pausing with the glass to her lips, trying to actually acknowledge the significance of the events that had led them all here. Seemingly random meetings and friends of friends, instant attractions and reluctant confluences, all culminating at the right moment, bringing them all together, building their family. And, their family was going to get bigger too. Raven and Abby were going to have a baby; Octavia had almost forgotten about that little piece of news after Abby’s sudden proposal, but now that that fog was clearing, she almost felt nervous, worried. If Raven and Abby were going to have a baby, did that mean that was what was expected of her too? Was that what Anya wanted? Was that what she wanted with Anya? She could feel herself getting ramped up, the thoughts swirling and merging, making her head swim.

Anya’s arm gave a squeeze around her shoulder though, grounding her, and Octavia quickly decided that she couldn’t let those worries bother her, at least not at the moment anyway. She and Anya had plenty of time to talk about all those things later; pick through all the details, what they both wanted when it came to marriage and kids and where they saw themselves in five years, or even in ten. They were only a month into their relationship anyway, and while secretly, Octavia thought that if Anya asked her, she would probably say yes, they didn’t have to rush into deciding about marriage and kids, much less an actual wedding and a baby. Being as young as she was, she knew she could have her MMA career for a few years, maybe a few more than a few, and still have plenty of time to have kids and grow old well after she retired. Maybe, she could start her own training gym, or buy into Skai’s The Limit with Echo, and then spend her days training the next generation of fighters. Perhaps, some of those trainees would even be her own children.

Looking at Raven and Abby again, seeing them smiling at each other, it wasn’t like Octavia thought they were rushing things though. Which seemed strange, considering their situation, but she guessed it made sense too. She knew that Raven and Abby hadn’t had much control over themselves in the beginning, but she figured if they had decided to have kids together, they were trying to make an honest go of the life that fate had dealt them. She wasn’t going to begrudge them that. She decided she was simply going to be happy for them because they seemed happy. As she watched them, Abby reached up and wiped that little bit of wetness off Raven’s cheek, and Octavia smiled as she moved to take another sip of her wine. She was a little surprised to find only a half-swallow left in the glass though. She glanced back to Raven and Abby feeling a little self-conscious, but she noticed Abby’s lips turned up in a soft smile as she heard Raven say, “Come on, O. Let’s get you a refill. We can check the lasagna while we’re up too.”

If she was surprised about how much wine she’d actually managed to drink, she was even more so when Raven said, ‘check the lasagna.’ She knew Raven’s track record in the kitchen, nearly burning down their apartment anytime she wanted to make something more complicated than a fried egg sandwich or a microwave dinner. She guessed ‘checking in’ on dinner wouldn’t involve more than just looking through the glass of the oven door, so how bad could it be. Nodding, she gently extracted herself from Anya’s grip, turning back to her once she was standing again to say, “Babe, can I get you anything?” Anya just shook her head, and of course, Octavia knew why. Anya didn’t drink more than one glass of anything if she knew she would have to drive later. She had actually been a little shocked when Anya had even accepted even that one glass, but she realized that they had taken Anya’s car to get there, instead of her motorcycle, so it made sense for Anya to bend her usually stringent rules just a little. She figured she’d bring Anya a glass of water, because her one glass of wine was almost empty anyway, and after a quick peck to Anya’s cheek she sauntered across the room, following Raven back into the kitchen.

Raven already had the door to the oven open by the time she caught up and Octavia couldn’t help swooning when the spicy, savory aroma of the lasagna absolutely filled her senses. She could hear the sauce bubbling, and she could see the cheese on top starting to melt and knew it probably wouldn’t be long before it was done. She watched as Raven grabbed a potholder off the counter and made to pull the glass dish filled with goodness out of the oven. Instead of taking it all the way out though, Raven simply turned it around and then slid it back in, closing the door again when she was done. Octavia was sure her face showed every bit of the confusion she was feeling, but without missing a beat Raven explained, “The oven is a little off. I think one of the heating elements needs to be replaced. I told Abby I’d take a look at it, but she thinks we should call a _professional_.” Octavia could hear it before Raven even said it, Raven’s tone turning smug, and maybe even a little arrogant, but Octavia still smiled anyway when Raven quickly added, “I mean, doesn’t she know by now… I’m a genius.”

Laughing, Octavia felt a bit of relief at the return of her cheeky, smart-assed friend, because although, the last remains of the tears she had shed earlier had been wiped away, Octavia couldn’t quite get that memory out of her head. She knew they’d been happy tears, but they’d looked out of place, nonetheless. Raven’s usually playful nature normally overrode any penchant toward tears she might have had. Octavia had seen Raven laugh through pain that would have brought most grown alphas to their knees. She had felt Raven tense as the muscle in the back of her thigh bunched to the point of bulging out against her skin, but still Raven had just sighed and grunted when Octavia had massaged the knot away. Seeing her friend with tears in her eyes, running down her cheeks even, had made Octavia feel like she was in _The Twilight Zone._

A clearing throat drew her attention back to the moment right in front of her though, and she snapped to, just in time to see Raven jiggle the bottle of wine in her direction. She quickly crossed around to the other side of the kitchen island and extended her glass with a quiet, “thanks.”

It seemed Raven could tell she was feeling a little uncertain though, when she heard Raven say, “You ok, O? You seem a little distracted…”

Answering almost automatically, Octavia said, “Yeah… yeah,” but she knew that would never be a good enough answer for Raven, and before Raven could press the issue, she quickly added, “I’m happy for you, and for Abby… I mean, I’m a little worried about my own future, but honestly, I’m thrilled about yours.”

Wine sloshed into her glass then, almost tipping over the side, but Octavia managed to save it by tilting the glass the other way, forcing the liquid back down inside. She was so intent on not letting the red wine spill all over the white tile floor that she nearly missed the soft look on Raven’s face, but her friend obviously concerned. She immediately wished she hadn’t mentioned it. She had mostly pushed it out of her mind anyway, intending to wait and talk to Anya before she worried too much, but the words had slipped out before she could really censor them and now she was going to have to have this conversation whether she wanted to or not. Because of course, Raven wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity like that as she quickly said, “Worried about what? You and Anya seem happy…”

“We are…” Octavia defended softly, because they were happy, or at least she had thought they were, but her sudden worries about kids and marriage, and all the things that went along with those worries, had her wondering if she was making good choices or not. _What if Anya doesn’t want kids and I do?_ What if it’s the other way around? ‘What if we try and can’t have them?’ “What if all the training and fighting makes me infertile or something?”

A laugh from Raven brought her out of her thoughts again, only to realize that somewhere in her internal ramblings, she had begun voicing them out loud. She hoped she hadn’t said anything too stupid, but the way Raven was laughing, she figured she’d probably stepped in it pretty good. She could only sigh when Raven lightened the mood, joking, “I don’t think those things are mutually exclusive. You can have whatever you want… do whatever the hell you want, remember?”

Smiling, Octavia did remember. The night she had met Anya, Raven had said those words too, and she realized that even though the circumstances had changed, the sentiment still applied. She could do both; be both a fighter and a mother, or a physical therapist-slash-trainer and a mother, for that matter. She was prepared, or as prepared as she could be, for adult decisions like those. She’d been making those adult decisions for long enough to know that no matter what was decided, there would be good things that came from each one. There would be consequences, and sacrifices too, but ultimately, she knew it was all about finding the balance between the two. Just being with Anya was good, and if they decided it would be just the two of them forever, that would be alright, because they would have decided that together. Anya made her feel complete, whole really, and Octavia knew she couldn’t ask for more than that. Well, she could ask, but she knew she wouldn’t be disappointed if the answer was ‘no,’ or even ‘not now.’ Either way, she had something to cling to, someone to love and love her back, and that would be enough. She was pressing herself into Raven’s arms then, all but forcing her friend to accept her affection, but Raven didn’t seem to mind too much, laughing again as she said, “It’ll be ok, kiddo. Just talk to her? It seems to be working really well for me and Abby.”

With the reminder of Abby, Octavia sputtered a little as she replied, “I— I’m sorry, Rae. We shouldn’t be talking about me right now. What we should be talking about is what your dress is going to look like…”

Hopeful that Raven would take the bait and let her change the subject, Octavia held her breath as she waited for Raven to catch up. She should have known though, that Raven wouldn’t let the transition in conversation be easy, and she could almost hear the smirk on Raven’s face as her friend said, “You know I’m not the traditional type, O… but you can be our flower girl if that’s what you really want.” She groaned; she couldn’t help it, because that was the furthest thing from what she wanted. Would she stand by Raven’s side and cry as she watched her get married? Of course. But, did she want to prance down the aisle strewing flower petals everywhere? No… She did have _some_ of her dignity to maintain. At least, she knew Raven was joking, or maybe, Octavia really just hoped that she was; although, if that was what Raven wanted on her big day, Octavia would do it, no matter how stupid it would make her look.

The oven timer going off behind her nearly made Octavia pee herself it scared her so bad. It didn’t help that it was loud enough to wake the dead and being in the kitchen with it when it went off was like standing next to a fire truck with its siren on. Raven chuckled when she flinched, shuffling out of her arms and over to the oven to silence the alarm. A voice called out over her shoulder then too, “Sorry… I should have warned you both. I had the installation crew turn the volume up loud enough so that I could hear it on the second floor.” She turned just in time to find Abby and Anya paused in the doorway, a fight-or-flight look on Anya’s face as well. As they made their way into the kitchen, Octavia immediately gravitated to Anya’s side, seeking comfort as much as she was offering it. When Anya’s arm slipped over her shoulder, and she slid her own arm behind Anya’s back, she finally felt her heart start to slow, a calm washing over her the instant they joined. She could see Raven and Abby pressed close and whispering to each other too, still standing in front of the oven, but with Anya pressing kisses to the top of her head and purring, she didn’t bother trying to catch what they were saying. It seemed she didn’t have to either, when after a second or two, Abby turned to them and asked, “Do you two want to go see if Clarke and Lexa are ready for dinner?” Octavia wanted to agree, but she quickly realized she didn’t really know where they had gone, only that they were upstairs, somewhere. It was as if Abby was anticipating that though, as she quickly added, “They’re probably on the second floor… in Clarke’s old room.”

The way Abby said those words struck a chord with Octavia, and she realized that Abby really wanted to go check on them herself but was afraid of what she might find. Whether Abby was worried that she’d find them canoodling or not, Octavia wasn’t sure, but she still blushed at the implication. The idea of walking in on Clarke and Lexa was probably mortifying to Abby, but Octavia found it didn’t bother her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen Clarke naked before. When you spend a couple years sharing the same bathroom, it was something that just happened sometimes, but Octavia quickly realized that seeing Clarke and Lexa _together_ would be different; nothing like catching a glimpse of Clarke’s side boob as she got out the shower or seeing Clarke’s towel slip out of place as she made her way to her bedroom. Just thinking about seeing all that skin against skin made her shiver, but it wasn’t like Octavia was lusting out over her friend either. She simply found the idea of _watching_ appealing. She wondered if they made the same sorts of power plays that she and Anya did; she also wondered if it was the other way around. Something told her Clarke was definitely the more demanding one between the two of them, but she had also seen Lexa’s possessive side too. They would probably be very interesting together. She had to physically shake her head then, trying to keep those strange, and mildly inappropriate, thoughts at bay. She made herself focus on answering Abby instead, and finally said, “No problem, Abby. We’ll go see what their up to.”

All but dragging Anya behind her, Octavia made for the stairs then, trying to get away from Raven and Abby, like that would help her get away from her thoughts. When Anya’s hands found her hips as they made their way up the stairs, she knew Anya wanted her stop, wanted her to turn around, and Octavia found she couldn’t deny her. She stopped and turned, Anya’s hands never leaving her waist, and she smiled when they actually came face to face. It was nice being the same height as Anya for once, and Octavia thought about trying to turn the conversation that direction before it even began, saying something like, ‘We should stop on the stairs more often… I like the view,’ but she could already see the expectant look on Anya’s face and knew that she needed to just spit it out. Obviously, Anya had detected her little shivers and shakes in the kitchen and wanted to know what she was thinking. Octavia didn’t want to just shout it out though, too aware of Raven and Abby just down the stairs, and Clarke and Lexa just above, so she quickly pulled Anya close, cupping Anya’s face with her hands as she whispered, “I think… I think I might like to watch.” When Anya’s eyes shot wide, a hot red flush flashing across her cheeks, Octavia quickly corrected herself, “Maybe, not with your cousin and my best friend, but uh…”

“Maybe, with another couple, or even just another single?” Anya finished for her, and Octavia was thankful Anya had had the courage to say what she wasn’t sure she could have said herself. Not that she was ashamed of the impulse, it just opened up a whole new world of possibilities; concepts that turned her on, even if she wasn’t sure she was ready to admit yet. It seemed Anya had reservations too, when she quietly added, “I— I don’t think I’m ready to share… not yet anyway, maybe not ever. I don’t know… Could we, uh, shelve this conversation for another time? Preferably one where we’re at home and in bed all day?”

Smiling, Octavia gratefully agreed, “Yeah, I just… I thought you should know that that was something I was thinking about.” She paused for a second, taking her own words to heart, before she said, “Actually, there are some other things I’d like to talk about later too… more serious things, if you know what I mean.”

Feeling Anya’s hands sliding up her back distracted her a little, but Octavia still had enough focus to understand when Anya responded, saying, “I’d like that too, but let’s just try to enjoy dinner first, ok?” Kissing Anya was so easy then, especially with their newly matched height, but when she felt Anya shuffle against her, she realized she was probably leaning too much of her weight into Anya’s frame to be considered safe. At least, while they were still on the stairs anyway. She forced herself to pull back, albeit, rather reluctantly, especially when Anya chased her lips after they broke apart. She laughed against Anya’s lips when they met again, unable to contain the sound as her heart filled with joy. Anya’s words sounded like a confession, like Anya was thinking and feeling some of the same things she was, and Octavia found herself looking forward to getting over with, so they could talk until all those feelings were out in the open.

When Anya took the lead, pulling her up the stairs instead of following behind, Octavia went along willingly, only separating herself from Anya when they reached the second-floor landing. She went left and Anya right, but when all she found was an empty dining room, Octavia quickly hustled back to Anya’s side, coming upon her leaning against an open doorway. There were Clarke and Lexa, clutching to each other like their lives depended on it, obviously so lost in their embrace that they didn’t even realize she and Anya were standing there behind them. Octavia glanced up at Anya then, silently asking what they should do, even though, deep down, she already knew. They were going to have to interrupt them to get their attention, and she held her breath as Anya reached out and knocked on the doorframe. When Clarke and Lexa didn’t even flinch, she cleared her throat, preparing to call out to them. She found her throat was too dry though and only managed to croak out, “uh… guys?” before her voice dried up.

Thankfully, Anya was right there though, finishing her sentences again, as she quietly added, “Dinner’s ready…”

Still, it was a few seconds before Lexa finally turned to look over her shoulder, and Octavia could tell in just that one look, that Lexa and Clarke needed another minute. The fact that Clarke didn’t even look up was a pretty good indication too. She was already moving back towards the dining room before Lexa even finished responding, hoping for a little quiet moment for herself and Anya too. She certainly wouldn’t mind if Anya pressed her up against a wall for a few minutes; although, she was sort of thinking about taking things the other way around too. She knew Anya wouldn’t complain if she was the one doing the pushing instead. Their give-and-take was something Octavia loved about their relationship, almost as much as she loved Anya herself. When they crossed into the dining room though, she was instantly disappointed. Only a few minutes ago, the dining room had been empty, but there was Raven, just sort of lingering awkwardly in the far corner of the room. She was dancing back and forth on her feet a little bit, her thumb pressed to a button on the wall, like she was anxiously awaiting the opening of a secret passage or something. To Octavia’s absolute shock, a moment later, that was exactly what happened; a hidden panel in the wall slid up and out of the way, revealing a fairly large opening beyond. She watched as Raven reached inside, suddenly nervous for some reason, but when Raven turned back towards her, she felt a little embarrassed when she saw a bowl full of salad in Raven’s arms.

Noticing Raven wincing a little bit, Octavia quickly shuffled around the table to the other end of the room, hoping to get in between Raven and the table so they could make a sort of bucket brigade. She smiled when Anya moved with her too, falling into line with her, extending their collective reach to the table. Her smile grew even wider too, when Raven played along, manning the dumbwaiter, while she and Anya got everything settled on the table. It wasn’t like she was trying to take things away from Raven; she simply jumped in to help like she would with anyone else. She also knew that her nonchalance about it, was the only reason why Raven actually let them help in the first place. They made quick work of arranging everything, settling the lasagna as a center piece, with the salad at one end and an empty space for the garlic bread on the other. She and Anya got everyone’s glasses organized, so that all three couples could sit together as couples, while Raven turned back to the dumbwaiter one more time. A platter of steaming, cheesy, garlic bread crossed behind her a few moments later, and Octavia couldn’t help turning towards Raven as she passed. She nearly followed her to the other end of the table too, stomach rumbling loudly at the thought of how good that bread smelled.

Abby’s arrival interrupted that impulse though, the confused look on Abby’s face unmistakable. She was trying to figure out where Clarke and Lexa were, and Octavia quickly spoke up, saying, “They’re coming… Just give ’em a minute.” She didn’t really mean for her words to sound the way they did, but when she heard Abby snicker, Octavia figured Abby probably needed a little comic relief anyway. True to her word, maybe only another sixty seconds later, Clarke and Lexa came tumbling into the room, all smiles and ruddy cheeks. She almost felt like she’d missed some inside joke, but as Clarke turned her smile towards Abby, Octavia realized that Clarke was just genuinely happy. It was a quick turn around from the somber mood she and Anya had disturbed when they’d come across them in Clarke’s old bedroom, but the sing in their steps was definitely a welcome change. When Abby quickly took both Clarke and Lexa into her arms, Octavia couldn’t help but smile, thinking that it didn’t really matter how they all got to this point; she was just glad that they did.

The actual dinner part of the evening was surprisingly smooth. It helped that Abby’s lasagna was everything Octavia thought it would be; rich and flavorful and filling. Even though she felt like she might burst, Octavia’s couldn’t stop herself from having seconds, and almost thirds. The salad was just right too, crisp and light, a nice balance to the heavy pasta. The garlic bread was definitely the star of the show though. Covered in shredded Parmesan and Mozzarella, the middle was soft and rich and buttery, but the edges were hard and crunchy, perfect for mopping up the little bits of sauce the lasagna left behind. By the time they were all done eating, all that was left were six ‘clean’ plates, and not much else. The two small portions of lasagna that were leftover were going home with Clarke and Lexa; a point that Octavia had almost started to argue, but when Clarke fixed her with a death glare, she quickly decided against it. She thought maybe Abby would just give her the recipe, and then she could try to make it herself at some point instead.

All full, and obviously all a little sleepy, Octavia was glad when Anya bowed them out of coffee and dessert, claiming they both had early mornings. And, while that was true, Octavia couldn’t help feeling a little guilty when the ride home actually perked her up, instead of making her more tired. The subject matter of her conversation with Anya may have had something to do with that though. The second they were alone in the car, she’d brought up her concerns about marriage and kids, but Anya had put all her worries to rest with just one sentence, Anya’s voice sounding oh-so-sincere as she’d said, “Babe, I want what you want; nothing more, but also nothing less…” It was such a simple statement, but the devotion and the dedication that Anya was implying made Octavia’s heart swell to bursting. Those words, and the meaning behind them, made other parts of her swell too, and when they finally got back to Anya’s apartment, Octavia showed Anya just how much that commitment meant to her. In fact, she spent so much time _showing_ Anya, that she slept through her alarm and was twenty minutes late for her first class the next day.

The sad part was, Octavia didn’t feel the least bit bad about it, even when Professor Franco spent the entire class dragging her over the coals about it. She’d done the reading for class the day before anyway and felt a little smug when she had an answer for every question the professor asked. Franco seemed put off by her enthusiastic responses, but it wasn’t Octavia’s fault that she found genetic manipulation interesting enough to actually want to learn about it. At the end of class, the professor even asked her to stay behind, probably intending to scold her some more, but when the lecture hall had finally cleared, all her teacher said was, “Good answers today, Miss Blake… though next time, maybe don’t come to class twenty minutes late with bruises all over your neck. Hickies tend to hurt your credibility…” Octavia blushed, of course, because to be honest, she’d been in such a rush that she hadn’t even checked the mirror on her way out the door that morning. The second Franco mentioned it though, she immediately thought back to the night before, and knew her neck was probably the least of her concerns. She was pretty sure that if her professor could see her collarbone or her rib-cage, she’d be shocked by what she found. It seemed that Anya’s penchant for leaving marks was all the more prevalent after Octavia had finally told her that she hoped she did get to have Anya’s babies, at least someday. Not that Octavia minded the rougher treatment either; not when Anya was hot and sweaty and pressed tight against her, teeth worrying and gnawing at any skin she could reach, her alpha thrusting three fingers deep inside her, as she chanted, “mine, mine, mine...” It was well worth a little embarrassment, and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized today that my initial estimate for how long it would take me to get this story posted was six weeks. Well, obviously I've missed that deadline. But, considering that, I'd like to take a moment to thank the people who've stuck with this story from the beginning. You've commented and kudo'd, and generally, I feel like if finishing this one for all of you, even if it's taking me longer than I wanted it to take.
> 
> That being said, we've got 5 chapters left after this one, but don't think for a second the story is over. There are still plenty of loose ends that need to get tied up over the next ~80,000 words... So hold on to your hats!


	37. The Erection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to take a moment to talk about the title of this chapter. I know it seems a little obvious, or at least it will once you get into the chapter, but I kinda fell into the thesaurus rabbit hole when I was trying to figure out what to call this chapter. I think the title started out as 'The Growth,' but that seemed sort of gross and off-putting. Then, I thought maybe, 'The Construction,' but that wasn't quite right either. When Microsoft Word suggested 'erection' instead of 'construction,' I laughed, (how could I not), but then I thought about all the implications of that word and it just seemed to fit. I feel like I've built something with this chapter and I hope it reads as such. So... I hope the title makes you laugh, but I also hope it makes you think too.
> 
> Without further ado.. Enjoy!

It started Monday night at dinner; the questions. Who her doctor was exactly? How long she had been seeing them? Did she like them? Where did they go to college? Where did they go to medical school? What was their GPA? Did they have references? Honestly, Raven had been expecting those questions to come earlier, even days earlier, but she guessed that Abby was getting more nervous as time went on. Raven could understand that; she was nervous too. Her appointment was only a few days away at that point. Of course, Raven didn’t have answers for half of Abby’s questions, and that seemed to make Abby even more anxious. Raven tried to be accommodating, reassuring even, giving Abby her doctor’s full name, one Dr. Nygel Walker, OB-GYN, and permission to find the answers she needed herself. Not ten minutes after dinner, Abby was hunched over her computer, mumbling to herself about peer reviews and test scores. After the third time of trying to coax Abby out of her study, Raven eventually went to bed alone, figuring Abby would come on when she was ready.

When Raven awoke on Tuesday morning, she found Abby cuddled up behind her. Obviously, Abby skipped her morning work-out in favor of a few extra minutes of sleep, and Raven let her have them, sneaking off to the shower as quietly as possible. By the time Raven was done in the bathroom, Abby was already getting up on her own, but Raven could tell she was still struggling, running on such little sleep. Abby was almost grumpy, and Raven quickly decided not to ask what time Abby had finally come to bed, hoping a cup of coffee and some breakfast would help her get through her day. Throughout the day, Raven got texts from Abby, like, ‘Did you know Dr. Walker used to work for a practice that was accused of prescribing medications for profit?’ and ‘Were you aware of Dr. Walker’s malpractice record?’ Of course, Raven hadn’t even thought of those things, but clearly, Abby was looking at her OB-GYN from all angles. Still, those new questions didn’t prepare her for that night at dinner, when Abby voiced outright concerns about her doctor. Abby claimed that she couldn’t find a public copy of her license, or records of her clinic’s most recent quarterly returns. Raven would have laughed at that, because what did it matter how much money her doctor’s business was making, but she could tell Abby was in no mood for levity. Instead, she suggested Abby simply call the office and explain the situation and see if they could clear things up.

That proved to be a mistake though, when she got a call from her doctor’s office the next afternoon, asking if they could share information with a ‘Dr. Abigail Griffin of Center City Medical Center.’ Reluctantly, Raven agreed. Maybe, she was a little pissed off that Abby had used her doctor credentials to get access, instead of just asking Raven to call and release information to her as her mate, but it made too much sense for Raven to be mad long. With an official HIPAA release, Abby could have direct access to her files and test results, instead of only her doctor’s recommendations. Raven figured, at that point, anything that would help Abby feel more secure was worth a little frustration. She was getting a little tired of going to bed by herself while Abby poured over files in her study anyway.

By dinner Wednesday night, Abby seemed a little more at ease, if only still a little pre-occupied. Raven managed to coax Abby into bed with her that night though, and after only a little further convincing, did she get Abby naked and on top of her. She was tired the next day, but it was definitely worth it too. Honestly, it was the best four hours of sleep Raven got all week. That was mostly because by Thursday night, she was the one too worried to sleep. She tossed and turned all night, Abby shifting and grumbling each time she rolled over, until finally she just woke Abby up. She knew she sounded desperate, but she didn’t care. She just pressed her lips into Abby’s pulse and begged Abby to help her work off some her tension. Of course, Abby agreed, and even though it was sleepy and languid and soft, it was exactly what Raven needed too; a long, slow build up where she absolutely crashed when she finally reached the peak.

Too bad the alarm went off no less than twenty minutes later, almost making Raven feel worse than if she hadn’t slept at all. It was rough just trying to get out of the bed, much less get ready for her appointment, but she managed, barely. Abby was struggling too, but after some hustle and bustle in the kitchen, making coffee and gulping down some oatmeal, they made it to Dr. Walker’s office on time. Well, right on time anyway, but that was the luxury of having the first appointment of the day; walking in right on time meant they wouldn’t have to wait long before being taken back into the office, and truly, it was maybe only five minutes before Raven was following the nurse back towards the exam rooms, Abby trailing right behind her. Those five minutes of silence felt a little like torture anyway, as Raven rode the rollercoaster of Abby’s emotions. They hadn’t spoken much since waking up, both running on autopilot, but it seemed that the closer they got to the actual ‘doctor’ part of her doctor’s appointment, the higher and lower Abby’s mood wandered. It got to the point that, when the nurse left them, so Raven could get changed into a gown, she finally said, “Abby, you’ve got to calm down. I feel nauseous enough as it is…”

“sorry,” was all Abby whispered then, but Raven could feel it when Abby began to actually relax. She went about changing into her gown then, thankful it was one of the cloth ones, instead of the flimsy paper ones she’d experienced in the hospital after her accident. She hated those things; fiery passion sort of hated them. Abby ‘helped’ her change too, folding her discarded clothes and setting them aside as she took them off. It was obvious Abby needed something to do with her hands, and Raven was happy to oblige by accepting her help. She figured if they were going to do this, make a baby together, she was going to have to get even more comfortable with accepting help, especially when she needed it.

After a few minutes, the nurse came back to take her vitals, under Abby’s watchful eye. Her blood pressure and temperature seemed normal, the nurse making a little pleased sound as she noted the information in a computer. The nurse asked her questions too, like what kinds medications and supplements Raven took and when was her last heat. Raven knew the exact date on the latter, though she couldn’t help but shudder when she thought about how she’d spent her last heat, miserable and alone, oversensitive and unable to relieve herself of the feeling. Her next one was sure to be a different experience, but she pointedly decided not to think about that at the moment, not wanting to get all hot and bothered when Dr. Walker was probably going to examining her in a few minutes.

As for the medications and supplements, Raven knew she took a muscle relaxer every day, but she couldn’t quite remember the name. Her podiatrist had changed her prescription so many times in the last couple of years that she wasn’t quite sure which one she was taking anymore. She usually took Glucosamine and a multi-vitamin too, as well as an iron supplement and a fish oil pill that she had started taking since bonding with Abby, at Abby’s request. Raven hoped she wouldn’t forget anything else, but thankfully, Abby was the type to be prepared and had actually brought the pill bottles with them, so they wouldn’t get any of the information wrong. Abby’s concern made Raven smile, even if she wished Abby wasn’t quite so obsessive about the whole thing, organizing the bottles by variety before she handed them over to the nurse. The nurse was patient at least, leaving Raven to think that she probably dealt with a lot of nervous would-be parents and was used to the over-preparedness. After all her medicines were finally entered into her file, the nurse quickly excused herself, claiming, “Dr. Walker will be right in.”

Sitting perched on the end of the exam table, Raven could feel Abby’s nerves ramping up again then, but instead of chastising her about it, Raven shook her head and gestured for Abby to come over to her, opening her arms and inviting Abby in. It was an opportunity Abby didn’t pass up either, sliding up next to her, Abby wrapping an arm around her waist the second she was close enough. Raven didn’t begrudge her the possessive posture, easily sinking into Abby’s firm grip as they waited for the doctor. It was comforting, holding Abby and having Abby hold her, like they were literally holding each other together, but a clearing throat, and a quiet, “Miss Reyes?” later, and then Abby was slipping away from her. She let Abby go too, at least most of the way, only catching Abby by the hand so she couldn’t go too far. She smiled when she turned her attention towards the door. Dr. Walker was lingering in the doorway, looking at the ceiling, obviously a little embarrassed for having interrupted them.

Not wanting the situation to turn anymore awkward than it already had, Raven simply launched into it, saying, “Hey, Doc… what do you say we get this implant out, huh?”

Abby let out a little gasp at her blunt words, but when Dr. Walker finally met her eyes, Raven just shrugged as her doctor replied, “Well… How about we talk first and make sure that’s what you want? I’m Dr. Nygel Walker, and you are?” Raven smiled as Dr. Walker moved to introduce herself to Abby but ended up shaking her head again when Abby emphasized her official title, obviously wanting her doctor to know who she was dealing with. Raven couldn’t really blame Abby for that though; if they saw each other as equals, it would only make it easier for them to communicate and she knew Abby still had a few questions she wanted to ask. She let Abby take the lead as they talked through the finer details; how long the implant’s drugs would linger in Raven’s system and possible side effects she might expect from its removal. Dr. Walker even went so far as to explain which hormones the implant impacted and how, complete with proper scientific names and descriptions of chemical compositions. Abby clearly liked how in-depth Dr. Walker was being, asking questions here and there, and seemingly pleased with the answers she was getting. Most of what they were saying was gibberish to Raven, but she smiled through the whole conversation, delighted when Abby seemed to get more and more confident, the longer they discussed things.

 Eventually, Dr. Walker brought up her leg, and Raven tried to pay closer attention then, actually tried to absorb the things that were being said. Abby’s main concern seemed to be ensuring they maintained blood flow throughout the pregnancy, but Dr. Walker took those concerns in stride, saying that regular massages and calisthenics would help with that. She also said that there were several pregnancy-safe drugs on the market that could be prescribed, if they were to encounter any serious complications with blood clots. Raven wasn’t going to lie; the idea of exercising every day wasn’t appealing, especially if she was going to have to exercise while pregnant. She knew just being pregnant was going to be taxing on her body, but the idea of getting daily massages from Abby seemed like it might be a fair trade off. She loved feeling Abby’s hands on her anywhere she could get them.

After that, the conversation took a bit of a turn; Dr. Walker asking the questions, leaving Raven and Abby stumbling for answers. First, she mentioned the bruises Raven had on her neck and shoulders, indirectly asking if Raven was being pressured into the procedure. Abby scoffed at Dr. Walker’s slightly accusatory tone, but Raven managed to calm her down, simply explaining that she liked being bitten and that all her bruises were consensual. She knew her face was probably as red as Abby’s, but she couldn’t really bring herself to care. She wasn’t going to let her doctor kink shame them. The next set of questions were a bit shocking though, and when Raven heard her doctor say, “Alright then… Will this be your first heat together?” she grimaced, feeling Abby’s hand flinch against her own. They both nodded anyway, because it was the truth, but then, Dr. Walker asked an ‘eight-hundred-pound gorilla’ question, saying, “Will this be your first time with an omega in heat?”

For just a second, Raven thought Abby’s head was actually going to explode. She sputtered and huffed, posturing as like she was about to lose control of her mouth. Raven figured that probably wouldn’t be fun, so she simply squeezed down on Abby’s hand and pulled Abby towards her, replying coolly, “Don’t worry about that, Doc… I got us covered there.” Waggling her eyebrows for good measure, Raven smiled as she felt Abby relax, if only a little. She pulled Abby’s hand up to her lips then, kissing it as they locked eyes. She found nothing but love there, and when she raised her eyebrows again, silently asking, ‘Are you ready?’ she got a little nod in response. She smiled against Abby skin for another second before she turned her attention fully back to Dr. Walker, and said, “Now, if you’d be so kind, I think we’d like to get this show on the road.”

Dr. Walker chuckled a little, clearly appreciating Raven’s certainty, and nodded herself as she replied, “Alright… let me just go wash up and get a nurse, and we’ll get started.” Dr. Walker turned towards the door then, and the air in the room shifted the second she stepped out. Raven felt it like a wave; an undeniable sort of relief washing over her when Abby pressed into her side a moment later. Not that Raven minded the tight embrace; she could use a little reinforcement too, but Abby’s grip had a certain desperation to it, one that Raven couldn’t merely brush aside. She clutched to Abby just as tight, hoping that she could alleviate whatever ache that was making Abby feel so conflicted. Over the next couple of minutes, she said whatever little reassurances that came to mind, murmuring them into Abby’s shoulder. With every word, Raven felt Abby wind down, bit by bit, and by the time, a cleared throat broke them apart again, Abby actually seemed more clam than Raven was herself. At least, Dr. Walker looked less embarrassed this time, offering Raven a soft smile, but the nurse that was with her, was looking pointedly at the floor, her hands clasped tightly in front of her. Raven almost snickered at the woman. She was about to see things much more intimate than a simple embrace, but Raven held herself in check, knowing it was not the time for laughter, whether it was nervous or not. It wasn’t long before Dr Walker spoke up anyway, saying, “Alright, lie back and try to relax, Miss Reyes. Most patients say the only thing they feel is cold, but there maybe be a bit of internal pressure too.”

The sentiment to those words was encouraging and Raven found it easy to comply, even with that Abby’s hand gripping her own a little tighter as she leaned back on the exam table. She could feel Dr. Walker positioning her legs then; well, one of them anyway. Suddenly a little more nervous, the blood started to rush so quickly through Raven’s ears that all she could hear from Dr. Walker after that were ‘wah-wah’ sounds. She was sure that her doctor was explaining the things she was doing, but when that first bit of cold rushed through her senses, she flinched, squeezing Abby’s hand ever tighter. As the cold spread, Raven felt like her insides had frozen solid, but with the numbness came a sense of surety. She stared up into Abby’s eyes then, waiting for the pressure Dr. Walker had mentioned, but she got so lost in Abby’s gaze that if that pressure came, she didn’t notice. As they stared at each other, Raven felt her eyes fill with tears, even as she watched a few drip down Abby’s cheeks as well. It was as profound as any moment they’d ever had together; a decision made and acted upon, a promise of a future, full of love and happiness, and probably some hardship and strife too, but Raven knew that any complication life threw at them was worth it. The look of absolute adoration in Abby’s eyes was worth everything.

The moment was over as quickly as it began though, Dr. Walker declaring proudly, “And, we’re done.” Raven blinked a few times, thinking there was no way her implant was actually gone, but when she heard a soft tinkling sound, her eyes immediately darted towards the noise. She found herself quickly focusing on a little piece of plastic teetering from side to side in a dish on the instrument table. Without having ever actually seen an implant before, Raven was little astounded by the actual size of the thing. It looked like it was maybe two inches long; two and a half if she included arms of ‘Y’ shape. She could easily guess why it was shaped like that, and a little blush crept over her face as she realized that everyone in the room had probably just seen her cervix. Her legs were being moved again though, and she felt some of her dignity return as her gown was pulled back down over her knees. “I suppose we’ll be wanting to schedule a round of tests in about… seven weeks?” she heard Dr. Walker say then, still sort of muffed by the blood still rushing in her ears, but the words were still clear enough for Raven to understand the implication.

“Y-yeah,” Raven sputtered, not sure she could say more; especially when visions of Abby surging inside her danced through her head. Abby’s hand squeezed her own then, an obvious reaction to her sudden spike in arousal, but Raven steeled herself enough to add, “My heat should be late next week, so six weeks after that I guess…” Feeling Abby’s hand flinch again, Raven knew that that wait would probably feel like the longest of theirs lives, but she also knew that getting tested any earlier than that wouldn’t be anything but disappointing. The results wouldn’t be readable, or if they were, they wouldn’t be one-hundred percent accurate until the six-week mark. She knew Abby knew that too, probably with scientific explanations as to how and why, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t be on a razor’s edge until they got some kind of results, positive or negative. Dr. Walker and the nurse, excused themselves then, giving Raven a little privacy so she could get cleaned up and then redressed. On the way out, Raven heard her doctor say that the receptionist would help them make the follow-up appointment when they were ready, but Raven wasn’t sure she would ever really be ready. The days, and weeks and months, to come would be hard, but as she and Abby made their way back to the front of the office, hand in hand, she smiled anyway, knowing that as long as Abby was with her, she didn’t need to worry; at least not too much.

 

~~~

 

The next six days were absolute torture; well, most of the time anyway. The subtle shifts in Raven’s scent made Abby feel more and more anxious as the days went on. Every time she even thought about Raven’s impending heat, she worried that when the time came, she wouldn’t be able to ‘perform.’ She’d never shifted before, much less popped a knot, and she couldn’t help feeling nervous about the whole thing. What if she couldn’t rise to the occasion? What if she could, but then it turned out that she wasn’t ‘well-built’ enough to actually satisfy Raven? What if she was big enough, but popping her knot hurt so much that she couldn’t enjoy Raven’s heat? It seemed like every thought made her feel rawer and more emotional than the last.

The rest of the world wasn’t trying to help her keep calm either. At work, she had to fill out a mountain of paperwork, just to request time off for ‘bonded heat leave.’ The whole time she was going over the pages, in triplicate, all she could think about was word getting around the hospital and then having to deal with nosy nurses and well-intentioned advice. She didn’t mind it so much when it came up at the lunch table one day, but that was mostly because Anya was so easy to talk to about it. Of course, Anya had plenty of that ‘well-intentioned’ advice to give, but Abby trusted Anya not to sugar coat things. Not to mention, Abby knew that Anya had experience to spare; over the last few years, Abby had heard all the stories. She wasn’t thrilled that Anya had brought it up in front of Harper, but when her protégé just smiled and nodded along, Abby accepted the support without protest. Being an omega, Abby figured Harper knew what it was like to be nervous about situations like these. Harper wasn’t the type to spread things around either, so that helped too.

Later that same day, Abby got a call from Lexa, and that was probably the most awkward Abby had felt in her whole life. It was a blissfully short conversation but getting advice from the alpha that was sleeping with her daughter made Abby’s skin crawl. At least, Lexa’s comments were vague; her only advice was for them to take their time, and make sure they were both ready before taking the next step. Those suggestions made her feel more frustrated though, knowing that even with that advice in mind, Abby still wasn’t sure what ‘taking their time’ would entail. The more she worried about it, the more frustrated she felt all around, but probably the most frustrating thing, was that Raven didn’t seem worried at all. She made little suggestive comments every chance she got, saying things like, “I can’t wait to hold you in my hand,” and, “I bet you’ll be big… God, I hope I can even take you all in.” Of course, it turned Abby on when Raven said things like that, and it was a confidence booster too, but she worried that Raven was using the little quips to mask her real feelings.

It wasn’t until Tuesday night that Abby finally realized that Raven’s little teases were just that, meant to stimulate not stifle, and she managed to bolster enough courage to actually use them against Raven in the bedroom. That night she teased Raven’s entrance with her fingers, pushing inside for a few shallow thrusts before pulling out, only to play with Raven’s clit for a few moments before moving back down again. All the while, she whispered the dirtiest things she could think of into Raven’s ear; things she never thought she’d hear herself say, like, “can’t wait to fill you up… make you take every drop… make you take my knot… make you come over and over and over…” Raven didn’t seem to mind the mental images Abby was making though, crying her way through, not two but three orgasms, right in a row. They fell into an exhausted sleep that night, a heap of tangled limps and sweaty skin, but when they woke up the next morning, Abby couldn’t help feeling like something was off. Raven’s skin was too hot, her nerves were too sensitive, her scent was too strong. There was only one conclusion; Raven’s heat was coming, faster than either one of them could have anticipated.

By the time they laid down in bed the next night, it seemed Raven could hardly stand to be touched, complaining about her itchy, burning skin anytime they brushed against each other. Abby tried to comfort her, but after the third failed attempt, she simply curled up alone on her side of the bed. The last thing she wanted was to make things worse for Raven, and if her warmth was the problem, then so be it. It was only a few minutes before Abby heard Raven drift off into a fitful sleep, but she laid awake, staring despondently at the far wall of their bedroom. She knew that an omega’s heat could make them think and act contrarily to their personality, and she tried not to read too much into Raven’s rejection of her touch, but it still hurt. Abby was an alpha, and alphas were supposed to be able to comfort their mates, heat or no heat. It felt like it was just another way that Abby wasn’t what Raven needed.

A soft whimper drew her attention and Abby rolled over to take in the shivering form of her mate, nearly sobbing herself when a wave of pained arousal surged into the air. She could only assume that Raven’s heat would hit full force by the next afternoon, and at just the thought, the alpha inside her surged to the surface as well, wanting to sneer and growl, and breed and claim. Raven’s scent was already tugging at her insides too, calling her to shift, but she pushed back, not ready to be rejected all over again. She couldn’t just pounce on her mate in the middle of the night, especially after Raven had made it clear she didn’t want to be touched yet. In the past, Abby had found it almost easy to will her down her body’s impulses; at least, when she was around an omega who was about to go into heat. After years of practice, she barely even noticed an omega’s call anymore, but Raven’s scent smelled different. It called to her on a cellular level, on a primal level, and she found herself sweating through rest of the night right alongside Raven.

At some point, Abby must have fallen asleep, but when she woke up, there was burning sort of ache low in her abdomen. Her efforts to keep from shifting the night before seemed to have been successful, with an obviously unintended side effect. Her muscles were cramping and twisting, painfully tight and strained, but it was when she felt her clit twitch inside her sleep shorts that she actually groaned at the pain. The fabric felt rough and scratchy, like her shorts were made of wool instead of cotton. They felt like they were two sizes too small too, restrictive and stiff. She wanted out of them; wanted inside somewhere warm and soft and wet instead. Shaking her head, Abby chanced a glance over at Raven then, and noticing she was still asleep, Abby bit down on the inside of her cheek, hoping the new pain would help her focus. It did help, and Abby felt herself relax a little, but then Raven rolled over onto her back, stretching and spreading herself out over the bed, and subsequently over Abby too. Abby felt her insides lurch at the contact, and she had to bite down harder on her cheek to keep from groaning.

A moment later, a pained groan from Raven brought Abby back from the edge though; her instincts quickly taking a backseat to her concern for her mate. She reached out for Raven then, her alpha pleased when Raven didn’t flinch and pull away, but Abby forced herself to concentrate, managing to cough out, “Are you a-alright? T-tell me what hurts?”

Another groaning stretch was all she got in response, at least at first, and Abby instantly worried that Raven’s leg was bothering her. The cramps and strains Raven dealt with on a daily basis were probably being made worse by her heat, but before she could get too far down that rabbit hole, Raven’s hand was cupping her cheek and she heard Raven whisper, “It’s ok, Abs… I just need to pee and don’t want to get up.”

“Oh,” Abby replied then, surprised, even though she probably shouldn’t have been. She had insisted that Raven stay hydrated, coaxing her into downing three glasses of water before they’d gone to bed. It only made sense; what goes in, must come out, but Raven’s discomfort was really all she cared about, so she quickly offered, “I could carry you if you wanted...”

Hearing Raven snicker at her wasn’t exactly what Abby was expecting, but then Raven said, “I think I can manage. Besides, I need you to save your energy anyway, because when I get back from the bathroom, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna spend the next three days wearing you out.” For just a second, Abby was too stunned to reply. She should have felt affronted at the idea of Raven ‘wearing her out,’ but all she could think about was that she hoped she didn’t embarrass herself on their first try. She was already twitching in her shorts purely from Raven’s proximity. She couldn’t imagine what it was going to feel like when they were actually in the throes of Raven’s heat. She didn’t have long to wonder about it though, as Raven shuffled out of bed and hobbled off to the bathroom, skipping her brace probably in an effort to get to the bathroom faster. It was maybe thirty seconds before she heard the toilet flushing and only another sixty seconds or so after that before Raven was sliding back into bed with her.

The anticipation was making it harder and harder for Abby to resist her body’s needs, but when Raven finally settled in next to her, Abby pressed them down again, focusing on the look of concern on Raven’s face instead. She started to ask what was wrong, but Raven’s hands were on her before she could speak. They cupped her jaw, Raven’s thumbs tracing over her cheekbones, and Abby sighed as the motion lulled her nerves. Then, they were moving down to her neck, Raven’s palms pressing against her pulse as Raven drew their mouths together for a kiss. Those hands gripped tighter the longer they kissed, Raven’s nails digging into the back of her neck, and all Abby could do was groan against Raven’s lips as the pain sent tendrils of heat flooding down her body. Her clit gave another excruciating lurch, and she thought for a second, that this was finally it; she was finally going to swell and extend, until she was every bit the alpha Raven obviously needed her to be. The moment she’d been waiting two weeks for, the moment she seemed to have been saving herself for, the moment she’d been almost dreading, just didn’t come.

Grunting, frustrated, Abby pushed her head back into Raven’s hands, hoping that Raven’s nails would dig in deeper and send that heat flushing down her body again, but Raven’s grip gave under the sudden pressure. She found herself gasping into Raven’s mouth instead, nearly crying at the throbbing ache between her thighs. It felt like she was right on the edge of a heart-stopping orgasm, but her body just wouldn’t let her fall over. It felt like her insides were forever changed, her muscles so knotted up and twisted that they’d never be able to settle back to where they belonged once this was over. It felt like she was on fire, her clit tingling to the point where she almost couldn’t feel the _lick_ of the flame anymore.

_Lick?_ Licking… She felt licking then, Raven’s tongue tracing soothing lines along her throat, lapping over her scent; the warmth from Raven’s mouth spreading calm like a salve. Bit by bit, Abby felt like she could breathe again; eventually, she could smell and see and hear again too. Still, Raven’s voice sounded far away when she whispered, “that’s it, Abs. relax… it’s ok.” The words sank into her skin, and Abby sank with them, trying to relax as Raven began rolling her over onto her back. Raven moved to straddle her hips then too, grunting herself as she tried to settle her weight. Automatically, Abby threw her hands to Raven’s hips; although, she wasn’t sure if she wanted Raven to stop, or to keep going. She didn’t want Raven to be uncomfortable, but when the heat of Raven’s sex came to rest on top of her clothed mound, Abby almost couldn’t care. Her alpha was snarling at the layers still between them, and every instinct in her body was shouting at her to claim her mate; to leave no question who Raven belonged to, by filling Raven with her baby. She could only hold her alpha back so well too, and some of its snarling managed to escape her lips, a guttural growl pressing its way through her teeth.

The sound only seemed to spur Raven on though, and when she ground her hips down, dragging their bodies together, Abby nearly choked on her own tongue. That now-familiar heat surged inside her again, wrenching her already tight muscles even tighter. The force drove all the air from her lungs, and for a few moments, all she could do was gasp and cough as she tried to catch up. With each huff and puff though, Raven’s scent filled Abby’s senses more and more, making her feel a little more crazed, and a little calmer, all at once. Eventually, Raven’s slow, rocking rhythm and sweet, soothing scent won out, and Abby evened out with it. She could still feel her instincts pulling at her bones and pulsing through her veins, but at least for the moment, it didn’t feel like the flame that was burning up her insides was about to consume her whole. Shortly thereafter, more movement followed, some shuffling and grunting, and when Abby could focus again, she found herself staring down at Raven, perched sort of precariously between her knees. It was easy to see that Raven was uncomfortable then, but when Abby opened her mouth to protest, Raven cut her off, all but barking, “No! This is a full-service operation we’re running here, Abs… Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.”

Raven’s tone was much more playful than her words, but Abby’s alpha absolutely screamed, offended that her omega would say such things to her. Still, Abby managed to grit her teeth and stem most of her alpha’s ire, but she could tell she was still being harsh when she growled, “and, you’re saying I don’t?”

If she didn’t know better, Abby might have thought her response actually scared Raven, but the little shiver that raced along Raven’s skin was obviously not because she was afraid. Raven’s next words only affirmed that too, and Abby shivered herself as she heard Raven husk out, “Yessss… That, that is exactly what I’m saying, but that’s ok… I— I want this to be good for you too, so, will you just trust me?”

In only a moment, Abby realized that was something she could do; she could trust Raven, with everything, even this vulnerable, maddening moment. Trusting in Raven was something Abby’s alpha could do too, and for the first time since she woke up, Abby felt warm, not hot; like she was under a blanket in the winter, instead of feeling like her veins were on fire. She still felt the tingle and throb, her clit twitching and pulsing, but it wasn’t painful anymore. She felt her tense muscles clench and twist, but instead of pulling against each other, they seemed to be working together. She finally felt at ease, willing and ready, and, if the hungry look on Raven’s face was any indication, Raven was ready too; maybe even a little beyond ready.

Hands were sliding up Abby’s legs then, up over her knees and onto her inner thighs; ultimately, pausing to tease at the hem of her sleep shorts. The light touch made Abby twitch and throb all that much harder, but when Raven’s hands finally drifted under the fabric, all Abby could feel was the love of Raven’s caress as the cloth started to flow over her skin. She lifted her hips a little when she felt a tug, literally pushing herself into Raven’s hands, and she sighed as her shorts were quickly pulled away. It felt a little strange still having her tank top on, with her bottom half so exposed, but it seemed Raven was willing to remedy that though, tossing her shorts away before reaching for her top instead. Abby helped with that as best she could too, shimmying a little when the tank top stuck to her sweaty skin.

Not wanting to miss an opportunity, Abby pushed forward a little and caught Raven’s lips with her own, but the kiss was short-lived as Raven pushed her back down onto the bed. Splayed out, completely naked under Raven’s watchful eyes, Abby nearly whined at how displayed she felt. She pawed at Raven’s clothes then, hoping Raven would understand what she wasn’t able to say. She wanted to be able to see Raven; wanted to be able to feel her skin and her heat for herself. Raven smirked haughtily at her distress, but before Abby could get annoyed about it, Raven’s tank top went flying off somewhere to her right. Groaning, Abby fixated on Raven’s full breasts as they bounced free from her top. They were firm as always, but Raven’s pert nipples were rock hard, standing out against her skin, begging to be groped and licked and sucked. Abby pushed those images down though, when she noticed Raven fidgeting with the waistband of her underwear. All she could do was watch in awe then, as Raven’s briefs slipped down over her hips, revealing that familiar thatch of dark hair, already glistening with arousal. Abby could only watch for so long though, not without getting involved anyway. When she saw Raven start to struggle, the damp briefs getting stuck around her knees, Abby leaned up and supported some of Raven’s weight as Raven slipped them the rest of the way off. She wanted to wrap Raven in arms then, looking so soft and warm and sexy, but Raven just pushed her back down onto the bed again with a huff, saying, “Not so fast, Abs… I’m in charge, remember?”

Alpha snarling and snipping again, Abby groaned as Raven continued to push her around, but it wasn’t long before Abby found herself forced into a half-seated position, with her back resting against the pillows and the headboard. Being propped up gave Abby an excellent view though, and she groaned again as Raven started crawling up the bed towards her. That hungry look in Raven’s eye made her seem like every bit the predator in the situation, and honestly, as Raven’s mouth neared her sex, that’s how Abby felt too; like Raven was a wild animal preparing to devour her. The first swipe of Raven’s tongue sent a shockwave up Abby’s spine, curling her body up, as her hips chased that hot, wet mouth. That heat retreated too far away for her to reach though, and Abby nearly growled at the denial. A chuckling laugh brought her up short though, and that was a good thing too, because then she heard Raven husk against her inner thigh, “Don’t worry, Alpha… We’ll get there… I’ll have you fucking my throat in no time.”

Totally overwhelmed, Abby choked out, “S-s-shit!” before she even realized she’d said anything. She knew where Raven’s words were probably coming from; straight from her slightly heat-addled brain, but as the image of being buried deep inside Raven’s throat took root, Abby couldn’t deny that’s exactly what she’d been chasing with her hips. Raven’s sucking lips and nimble tongue were two of Abby’s favorite things about Raven, at least when they were having sex, and Abby’s felt her clit pulse and swell all over again, just at the idea of having more to fill Raven’s mouth with. It wasn’t long before she felt like her skin it might tear if some of the pressure wasn’t released soon. She never thought she would be so turned on by something so clearly possessive and alpha-like, but the idea of pushing into Raven’s mouth, seeking her release with absolutely not regard for Raven’s pleasure or comfort, was intoxicating.

When the heat of Raven’s mouth returned to her flesh, unexpectedly, but not utterly so, Abby scrambled for purchase, hands seizing in the sheets to keep herself from gripping the back of Raven’s head instead. A wet chuckle sounded against her sex though, and Abby shuddered as the vibrations traveled along all her nerves, making her tingle and flush even more. Her reaction left her feeling both incredibly aroused and wholly embarrassed too, but then Raven’s fingers found her own, worming their way in between her fists and the sheets. Raven’s words were muffled and soft, but Abby heard every syllable Raven whispered against her clit, felt them in her very bones, as Raven said, “it’s ok, Abs… I want you to… I— I need you to…”

Ultimately, it wasn’t even the words, so much as the tone, that made Abby release her death grip on the sheets, and when Raven simply moved their clasped fingers to the back of her own head, it was that same need that made Abby settle her hands into Raven’s hair. She barely managed to scrunch her fingers through those locks though before Raven was ducking in her grip, rushing to get back to her clit. Abby held on for dear life then, as Raven took the head of her clit into her mouth and sucked, _hard_. It seemed to be exactly what Abby’s body had been waiting for too; a blinding sort of pain stinging its way through her clit, only to be followed soon after by a sighing wave of relief. She could feel it then, her clit swelling and shifting, rapidly filling the inside of Raven’s mouth, and every nerve in Abby’s body began to sing with pleasure.

A groan, and a gag, was all it took to break Abby away from her climb though, her grip recoiling as Raven choked around her lengthening clit. Raven merely groaned again though and dove down, this time taking Abby all the way down to the hilt. It was Abby’s turn to choke then, her fingers flinching back the other direction, gripping tighter than before as her instincts screamed at her to get as deep inside her omega as she could before she lost control. She was rapidly losing control too, an overwhelming pressure building inside her, one that needed to get out, and soon. Her hips jerked up on their own, even as she used her hands to direct Raven down further, but Raven merely whimpered at her roughness and tried to swallow her even deeper. It was the feeling of Raven’s muscles contracting around her that was ultimately Abby’s undoing. Her whole body shook, and her pulse thundered in her ears; her hands clenched and fisted, and her shaft absolutely throbbed. Completely surrounded by wet heat, the muscles of Raven’s throat milked at her tip and it seemed like only a moment before that pounding pressure inside her finally broke, pouring out of her, right down Raven’s throat.

 

~~~

 

Feeling Abby shift and swell inside her mouth was… incredible, a total adrenaline rush. It made Raven’s omega smug with pride that she could coax her alpha to readiness with such ease. On the other hand, having Abby buried in her throat, desperately trying to get deeper inside her, was even better than that. It felt so good that she couldn’t stifle a whimper when Abby bottomed out, just as desperate for more as Abby seemed to want to give it to her. She tried to swallow, a last-ditch effort to get that remaining half inch inside her, but she just couldn’t make the room. Still, with or without it, it wasn’t long before Abby gave her everything she had; it was everything Raven needed too. At once, it was grossly too much, but it most definitely wasn’t enough either. Her walls clenched reflexively, causing her to groan, and the sound only seemed to pull more from the shaft inside her throat. She swallowed all that she could, wanting Abby to fill her up, wanting all of Abby she could get.

By the time Abby had finished down her throat, Raven was crying. She knew she was simply overwhelmed, her senses too full of Abby, for too long, for her not to feel dazed. Knowing all that didn’t stop a few tears from falling anyway; the moment was too meaningful to resist. Abby had only ever shifted for her, and while that was significant in and of itself, it was the connection between them that really made Raven feel special. It helped that Abby’s smell had wormed its way into her nose, and it didn’t seem like it was ever going to come out. Abby’s grunts and sighs had filled her ears too, and then mingled with her own; the sounds creating a beautiful symphony, dedicated to their bond. It was tasting Abby’s come that really drove their connection home though. It tasted sweet and a little salty, muskier and heavier than usual, but Raven had relished in it as Abby had filled her mouth. There was so much of it too; so much that it had eventually leaked out of the corners of her mouth. She could still feel it trickling down towards her chin, and she groaned when she thought about getting to lick Abby’s come off her face.

That groan got caught in her throat though, when she glanced up and met Abby’s eyes. They looked wild and glazed, yet somehow Abby still seemed focused on her. It seemed Abby was staring deep into her soul, as deep into her as Abby’s shaft was still buried inside her, and maybe even deeper than that. She could feel Abby’s length still twitching and throbbing too, each weak little aftershock lengthening Abby’s release. Eventually, Abby began to soften though, if only by a few degrees. Abby’s hands finally relaxed in her hair too, and Raven reluctantly pulled back. She didn’t let Abby slip completely out of her mouth, but she knew if she didn’t catch her breath soon, she might pass out from oxygen deprivation. Needing to breathe had seemed utterly unimportant as Abby had thrust into her throat and held her there, but with a little blackness starting to seep into the edges of her vision, Raven gave in to her body’s needs and released Abby from her mouth with a slick, wet smack.

So much for catching her breath though, because when she got to see Abby’s length for herself, the sight of it stole Raven’s breath anyway. Abby was beautiful, long and proud, but still plenty thick enough to give Raven the stretch she was beginning to crave. There was a strong, blue vein that ran all the way from the head to the base, and despite her need to breathe, Raven wanted to run her tongue along it, if only to see if she could feel Abby’s pulse through the skin. Abby had a gentle upward curve too, and Raven sighed, shuddering in anticipation of all the places Abby would be able to reach with that sort of tilt. It seemed that thinking of Abby buried inside her again made her own muscles cramp and twist, and Raven knew that in a few minutes, maybe even a few seconds, she would be begging Abby to fuck her; anything to ease that deep burning emptiness that was building in her bones. It had been almost easy to fight off the ill effects of her heat while Abby had been inside her throat, but staring at Abby’s sex, glistening and wet and leaking, it was a miracle Raven managed to keep herself from climbing back onto Abby’s lap and sinking down on Abby’s shaft in a whole new way.

The tension in her belly magnified at that thought as well, and she groaned as it stretched down into her hips and up into her back. Her whole body seemed to go rigid then too, as her walls clenched and rippled around nothing, anticipation causing her to whine at her own emptiness. Thankfully, it seemed that she hadn’t worn Abby out yet; if anything, Abby seemed to come alive at the sound of her desperation, and Raven was only a little shocked as she was roughly flipped over onto her back. Abby was like a wild animal then, all bared teeth and surging pheromones, snarling growls and possessive bites. Raven submitted easily to her alpha, posturing and snarling above her, savoring the feeling of Abby’s teeth against her throat. When Abby’s hands palmed her hips, also a little roughly, she arched into the contact, suddenly needing Abby more than ever, needing Abby to fill her like no other alpha ever had. She tried to express that too, choking out all she could, “PLe— Ne-ed… Need you,” but even as broken as the words were, Abby seemed to understand.

Only a moment later, Raven felt the blunt head of Abby’s length nudge between her folds, and despite the way it slipped and slid over her flesh, it wasn’t enough. She bucked into the sensation, chasing Abby’s shaft as Abby had chased her mouth only minutes before. Her desperation to have Abby inside her was, suddenly, totally, unmanageable. That is, until Abby’s grip at her hips became iron-clad, holding her down, effectively pinning her against the mattress. She whined again, her gut wrenching at the denial, but then Abby barked, “BE still! I— I d-don’t want to hurt you,” and Raven froze. She wanted to scream, because that was pretty much exactly what she wanted. She wanted Abby to slam her way inside, to take in her one rough stroke, to claim her, completely. She didn’t even want time to adjust either. All she needed to feel was Abby tearing her open and then spilling inside her, repairing any damage she had done with her come. They weren’t there yet though; Raven’s logical brain knew that. This was Abby’s first time and if Abby surged inside her like that Abby would probably come again before they even got going. She could feel it in the trembling of Abby’s fingers against her hips, could feel it in the throbbing length sliding against her folds, and while she really did want Abby’s to come inside her, she wanted Abby’s knot even more. She needed it to seal them together, so that when they were both spent and sated, Abby’s seed would have nowhere else to go but deeper inside her.

So, she tried to remain still, tried to let Abby get her bearings, tried to let Abby set the pace, but as Abby’s thrusts increased, both in force and in speed, Raven found herself whining all over again, the need to be filled nearly overwhelming her good sense. On one particularly well-placed thrust, the head of Abby’s shaft caught roughly against her clit, and Raven did scream then. The feeling of Abby’s length dragging crudely along one side of her clit before sliding right back down the other was too much for her, but she found herself wailing as Abby moved to pull away. Abby shushed her, soothing her with a softer caress at her hip, but then Abby’s touch left her there too. She felt it then though, the shift in power, as Abby’s hand dipped down in between them. She only had to wait one more moment, and then the head of Abby’s shaft was finally pressing inside.

It was only the tip, but the slow stretch was delicious, and Raven moaned as the blunt head kept going, moving ever so slightly forward, until the crown finally popped inside her. A sagging sort of relief washed over her then, and even though it wasn’t the harsh stroke she was hoping for, the feeling of Abby resting just inside her entrance was enough to send ripples along her inner walls. It was like her core was welcoming Abby in with each pulse. Inch by agonizing inch, Abby filled her, all the way to the hilt, Abby’s hips eventually pressed so closely to her own that not even a drop of sweat could slide between them. Her walls clenched again, trying in vain to pull Abby even deeper, and when she heard Abby groan above her, she fixed her eyes on Abby’s face and then repeated the clench, only this time on purpose.

Abby’s eyes shot open, and Raven moaned again at the golden fire burning in Abby’s depths. She knew Abby was right on the edge, trapped between her self-control and her desire, and when Raven clenched one more time, Abby took off like a rocket headed for space. Raven barely had time to clench her fists in the sheets, desperate for somewhere to hold on to, as Abby’s hips jerked back and then slammed forward again in the same second. There was no rhythm at all at first, merely a wild thrusting back and forth, but it was obvious that Abby was wagging war on her instincts, trying to control the fire burning inside her; Abby’s eyes darkening with each withdrawal, only to flare up again as she thrust back inside. Luckily, Raven had just enough of her mind left to try to guide Abby’s surging, and eventually, a rhythm was formed.

It was deliciously fast and brutal, but it was exactly what Raven needed, the harsh pounding pressure against her front wall stroked by Abby’s every thrust. She wasn’t going to last long, and she knew Abby wasn’t either, especially if her alpha’s panted curses were anything to go by, but still Raven needed more. She needed Abby’s knot, stretching her to the limit, sealing them together. She bore down at the thought, drawing a pained groan from Abby, but it seemed the pain only urged Abby on, and before she knew it, Raven could feel the telltale signs of Abby’s knot forming. Abby’s strokes shortened, and she groaned and grunted, clearly trying to keep going through the pain of popping her first knot. Raven used whatever leverage she had to meet Abby’s thrusts then, hoping that the heat of her sex would help alleviate some of her mate’s discomfort.

As incredible as it was, feeling Abby moving inside her, the first time Raven felt Abby’s fully formed knot press against her opening, she found herself scrambling, and not just for something to hold on to, but for some grip on reality as well. On instinct, her hands flew to Abby’s straining forearms anyway, and she choked as she tried to give voice to the need boiling over inside her, “P-please, Abby… Please… I want— _I need it_ …” Their eyes locked as Abby pressed forward again, and then the most pleasant pain Raven had ever felt washed through her. It was like her body naturally opened to Abby, stretching to unbelievable limits to accommodate Abby’s girth, and she sighed as Abby’s shaft finally slid all the way inside once again. The second her entrance collapsed around the other side of Abby’s knot though, Raven came, shouting Abby’s name at the ceiling, her entire body arching off the bed as her muscles contracted and shook. Abby followed a moment later, and the rush of warmth spurting inside her only made Raven come that much harder. She was sure she actually blacked out too, so overwhelmed by Abby pumping her full of come that she couldn’t keep herself conscious any longer.

The blackness in her vision cleared quickly though, and when she came to, Abby was slumped over on top of her, panting roughly against the side of her neck. Abby’s shaft was still lurching and twitching and chugging inside her and as Abby’s aftershocks continued, Raven found herself charging forward into a whole new orgasm. It wasn’t so powerful that it made her pass out again, or see stars or anything as surreal as that, but as her walls squeezed and milked at Abby’s length, she groaned as Abby started to spill more and more. By the time their release finally ended, Raven felt so full she thought she might burst, like she just eaten a five-course meal and then drank a gallon of water right after. Her lower belly was actually distended from the amount of Abby’s warmth that was filling her. It wasn’t uncomfortable though, if anything it made Raven feel more comfortable, knowing that at that exact moment she was getting pregnant. Abby had given her a baby, had just completed their little family for both of them. She wanted to hope that she could feel it happening; cells merging with other cells and then splitting, creating life, but she knew that that was impossible. She decided she’d let herself imagine it anyway. Maybe, this was one of those situations that wishful thinking was made for; a situation where being positive actually affected the outcome.

 

~~~

 

_That… that was… I can’t even…_ was all Abby could think as her vision finally started to clear, the haze of instinct-driven need receding until it was just a cloudiness reserved for only the edges of her sight. Even in the shadow of Raven’s neck though, the first thing Abby saw was Raven’s wild fluttering pulse, rippling under her skin in perfect time with the undulating muscles still pulling at her shaft. Mesmerized, she watched as the pulses eventually slowed, too spent to try to draw them out, at least for the moment. It seemed Raven didn’t mind the stillness though, sighing happily underneath her. Feeling Raven’s chest move against her own, brought on a sudden worry that she might be crushing Raven, but when she tried to shift her weight even a little bit, Raven gasped and arched into her, drawing a choked groan from Abby too, as Raven’s walls squeezed tight around her again.

The rippling, milking began again too, and Abby had no choice but to give Raven’s body what it wanted, what she so clearly needed. Her hips bucked forward all on their own and Abby began to spill once more. Her fourth orgasm, pretty much end to end, was too much for Abby, and as her release tapered off, she slumped down on top of Raven again, no longer able to worry about whether she was crushing her or not. She did have enough energy to get her lips to Raven’s throat though, pressing a tender kiss to her mark at Raven’s scent, sighing as Raven shuddered at the touch. She didn’t move for a long time then, simply content to feel Raven’s pulse beat slower and slower under her lips, until finally she felt Raven drift off. She pulled back only the slightest bit then, just enough to whisper, “I love you,” against Raven’s skin before pressing back in again. Raven didn’t respond, and Abby didn’t need her to; it felt good to say it anyway.

Drifting off herself, at least for a little while, Abby awoke some time later. It was still light outside, so she figured she couldn’t have been asleep for long. It only took a second for Abby to realize why she had woken up though. Raven was squirming and whimpering underneath her, clearly urging her move. Certain that she was crushing Raven, Abby pressed up off of Raven’s body onto her hands, eyes quickly moving to find Raven’s. What she found looked like pain, and Abby immediately started to move off of Raven completely. In her haste, she kind of forgot about still being buried inside Raven, and as she slid free, Raven released a deep groan. A veritable flood followed Abby out, but she tried not to think about the mess as she pushed back onto her knees, coming to rest in between Raven’s thighs. Whatever was causing Raven that pain was more important than ruined sheets.

Raven was reaching for her before she even got settled however, and Abby couldn’t resist the frantic way Raven was gripping at the air, trying to get to her. She pushed herself up over Raven’s good leg and immediately found herself being pulled down onto the bed again. She laughed, she couldn’t help it; Raven’s desperation was too comical, all grabby hands and little grunts. The second she was pressed against Raven’s side, the little grunts stopped though, quickly transforming into a purr instead, and Abby was happy to spend a moment enjoying Raven’s warmth too. Raven was running hot too; that was for sure, skin sweaty from the heat still boiling under her skin. Abby tried to soothe her, whispering against the side of her neck as she stroked the hot skin covering Raven’s stomach, “I’m not going anywhere. We have the next three days for me to wear you out, remember?”

That had Raven laughing along with her then, and it was one of best sounds Abby had ever heard; better than the throaty moans and breathy sighs, better than hearing Raven scream her name, because while she had been worried about pleasing Raven, at least in an alpha to omega capacity, being able to make Raven laugh was something Abby always knew she could do. She did it as often as possible too, wanting to bring Raven joy whenever she could. Their laughter died out eventually, both a little breathless, but Raven seemed the first to recover, choking out, “I s-seem to think it might… might be the other way a-round.”

“Oh, is that so?” Abby cooed, pressing in closer to Raven’s throat, delighting in the shiver that shot down Raven’s body at her sudden proximity. It seemed Raven didn’t have a smart remark prepared, or at least, Abby was distracting her enough that she couldn’t get the words together in the right order, so Abby continued, “I think we should test that theory then… Do you… do you trust me?” She wasn’t sure where the idea had come from, probably some deep-seated instinct, but Abby had this urge. She wanted to mount Raven, wanted to take her so deep that Raven would feel it every time they had sex for the rest of the week, maybe even the rest of the month. She knew there was only one way to do that too, but she wasn’t sure how Raven’s body would handle that much time on her knees. The new locking disc Raven had installed in her brace would help, but she had to get Raven back in the thing for that. Raven eventually nodded against the side her head though, obviously a little nervous, but Abby thought that little bit of anxiety was mostly just anticipation, and not actual resistance.

Shimmying down Raven’s body, Abby grabbed the brace from the foot of the bed and brought it up so Raven could see what she was doing. She carefully opened the buckles and loosened the straps, Raven’s breathing growing heavier and heavier with each movement. When it was finally open and ready, Abby chanced a glance up at Raven’s face, and she smiled at the way Raven’s eyes were fixed hungrily on her hands holding the brace. She shuffled down a little further then, her length slapping against her own belly as she climbed back over Raven’s good leg. It was still a bit of a strange sensation, having this extra… appendage, but when the contact made her throb, she nearly cursed. Obviously, her body liked the idea of propping Raven up on her hand and knees, but she had to get there first. She dutifully pushed down against her urges and set herself to work instead.

Thankfully, Raven moved easily under her guiding hands, first into the brace, and then over onto her stomach. The next bit was a little awkward, pulling Raven up on her knees with one arm around her waist while guiding her bad leg into place with the other hand, but after only a little effort and some shuffling, Raven was finally in the position she wanted. Seeing Raven’s thigh muscles trembling already though, Abby quickly reached up above Raven’s head and grabbed two of the three pillows resting against the headboard. She slid those in underneath Raven’s stomach, urging Raven down onto them once they were in place. It wasn’t quite the angle Abby was looking for, but she knew she could make it work. Raven’s comfort was more important anyway.

Speaking of, Abby could tell Raven was getting a little impatient, wiggling her hips from side to side in precisely the right way to draw Abby’s eyes to the space at the apex of her thighs. Abby was helpless to resist too, her eyes immediately fixing on the glistening deep pink richness that awaited her. Biting her lip to keep from groaning, Abby watched as Raven absolutely leaked. She could see Raven’s inner muscles clenching and fluttering, even from the outside, her thick lips trembling and shaking every time Raven’s walls rolled in on themselves. She was dimly aware of Raven’s harsh panted breaths too, but as creamy fluid continued to drip down from Raven’s entrance towards her hard, red clit, Abby couldn’t bring herself to look away. She knew some of that liquid was hers, and Abby felt a little put off by that. She didn’t like seeing her come leaking out of Raven; it was supposed to stay in there… it was supposed to be getting Raven pregnant. She reached out to touch it, maybe to push it back inside, maybe just to see what it felt like, but when Raven yelped her name, Abby finally broke out of her trance.

“Shhh… shhh. It’s ok, honey,” Abby whispered then, purely on instinct, resting one hand on Raven’s tailbone as she continued to explore the wetness seeping from Raven’s entrance with the fingers of her other hand. Even though she was steadying Raven, Abby could feel Raven’s desire to push back into her other hand though, needing more than Abby was giving her. Not wanting to make her wait any longer, Abby gathered up some of that wetness and smeared it onto herself, stifling a little groan at the sensation of her own hand. She hadn’t thought touching herself like this would feel as natural as it did, but staring at Raven’s up-turned backside, stroking herself the rest of the way to hardness, Abby knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she had been born for this. She had been born to mate Raven, had been made just right to suit all Raven’s needs. Raven whined before she could get too smug about it though, the sound inspiring Abby to move on. Keeping her hand pressed tight to Raven’s lower back, partially to steady herself, but mostly to keep Raven from bucking back into her, Abby shuffled forward on her knees, positioning herself so that when she leaned forward the very tip of her shaft fell in between Raven’s swollen, slick folds.

Hearing Raven groan as she began to press forward, Abby hesitated for a moment. Her need to come was already reaching a fever-pitch, but Abby kept going, biting her lip to keep from coming the second she made it inside. Raven was so tight for that first moment, that Abby thought she wouldn’t actually be able to push in, but then Raven sighed and Abby slipped all the way in, in one long slow thrust. It wasn’t really intentional, but as Raven’s muscles gave way to her, Abby couldn’t help but follow. She rested her hips against Raven’s ass for a moment, trying to get control of herself, the sensation of falling inside Raven so easily stealing her breath. This was where she’d lost control before, and despite her instincts still screaming at her to just plunge inside Raven and take what was hers, Abby wanted this to be more methodical than last time. As she thought about it, she couldn’t really remember much of what happened after she’d finally gotten inside Raven earlier, a jumble of sensations and sounds, a look here, a feeling there. She wanted to remember every moment this time. She wanted to sear the memories into her brain, wanted images of this moment to haunt her for weeks to come, but only in the best possible ways. Raven didn’t seem content to let her enjoy the moment long though, whining and squirming again. The movement nearly drove Abby to surge forward, but she simply pressed down a little harder on Raven’s tailbone and pulled back, holding Raven still as she withdrew.

The piercing sound Raven made then was like a knife to the chest, a desperate keening wail that Abby felt deep inside herself too. She still slid back inside at her own pace though, testing her angle and her depth as she went, trying to figure out where Raven was most sensitive. In this form, she could reach a lot of new places inside Raven, and she wanted to know what to do to simply light Raven on fire with each stroke. She found a few spots that made Raven shudder and try to press back into her, and with each of those little discoveries, Abby started to drive in faster and faster, making absolutely certain to hit each of them on the way in, and then again on the way out. Her pace was still languid in comparison to the hazy, break-neck rhythm she could remember from their first time, but Raven didn’t seem to be enjoying things any less than before, especially if the way Raven was chanting her name was any indication.

As her rhythm continued to increase, Abby found herself needing a better grip than her hand pressing down on Raven’s tailbone, so she moved her hands to bracket Raven’s hips instead. She had more control of Raven’s movements that way, and she used that control to her advantage, pulling Raven back into each thrust, driving herself harder into those little sensitive places. Raven’s chanting had dribbled off into mostly incoherent babbling by then, but Abby could still make a few words here and there, “Y—es… Abs… More,” falling from Raven’s lips more than once as Abby continued to drive inside her. Abby gave it to her too, adding a little pop of her hips every time she bottomed out, pushing inside that last little bit each time, promising Raven with each thrust that the end they were both building towards was coming.

Focused on memorizing every moment, Abby didn’t even realize what was happening at first. She was so determined to drive Raven over the edge that she didn’t even notice her knot swelling; that is, until she found she couldn’t get as deep as she wanted anymore. Where Raven had been open to her all the way the hilt before, Abby suddenly found resistance waiting for her at the end of each stroke. Raven was still panting and babbling and gasping though, so she continued, with a new determination in mind. She needed her knot inside Raven, needed to feel it sealing them together, needed to come so bad she almost thought she wouldn’t be able to wait until Raven opened up to her again. Her need drove her onward though, shortening her strokes, so that the top of her knot pressed insistently against Raven’s entrance with each rocking motion.

The sudden change in pace caused Raven to sag forward, and Abby glanced up only to find Raven staring back at her over her shoulder. There were a thousand feelings in Raven’s eyes; need and desire, love and affection, desperation and anticipation, just to name a few, and Abby found herself sinking forward, seeking the depths of Raven with every fiber of her being. She could feel herself being dragged deeper and deeper, and when her knot finally crested Raven’s entrance, she found Raven ready and waiting for her, Raven’s walls clenching oh-so-tight around her. Abby had no choice but to linger on the precipice with her, but when the fluttering of Raven’s walls began, Abby quickly followed. Her need to come finally brimmed over and her shaft throbbed as she spilled more and more with every milking roll of Raven’s walls. Their combined release didn’t go on as long as the first time, but Abby couldn’t feel the least bit disappointed, too pleased with herself from making Raven come to worry about the duration. It wasn’t like this was the last time they’d get to do this anyway. It seemed they had the rest of their lives to take turns wearing each other out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all don't mind that I turned Nygel into a 'good guy.' I really love Saidah Ekulona; she has a really great smile and I felt like it was a shame that she didn't get to show it off on the show. 
> 
> Anyway... Four chapters left... Up next... Clarke and Lexa navigate the ins and outs of being together, and living together, and working together.


	38. The Blending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is... Chapter 38 - The Blending. Not much to say about this one, so I'll just let it speak for itself... Enjoy!

The first time Lexa mentioned having an artist’s night at Polaris, Clarke didn’t really believe her, thinking that it was just one of those things that sounded good in theory, but wouldn’t actually work out. It didn’t help that Lexa always brought up serious conversations when Clarke was sated and sleepy, or still coming down from a round or three of orgasms. If Clarke had learned anything in their time together though, she knew the best way to shut Lexa up was a round or three of orgasms too. Clarke didn’t really think about it after that, and that proved to be a mistake. The second time Lexa asked her about Gallery Night was even more casual than the first time, just a text that said, ‘What do you think about six weeks? You think you can be ready by then?’ Clarke was confused at first, but then when she thought about what would be going on in six weeks, she couldn’t help but blush. Her next heat would probably be around then, if only a little later; maybe seven or eight weeks, instead of six. She sent the coy smiley face back as a response, and when she got a similar reply, just a single smile emoji, Clarke didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until they were cleaning out her old room at her mom’s, that Clarke finally put those pieces of conversation together.

They’d been sorting paintings and sketches and other mixed-media pieces for over an hour when Clarke heard Lexa clear her throat and say, “Maybe, you could use some of these next month? These three… they look like they’re a finished set to me…”

For a second, all Clarke could do was stare, beyond a little confused. She tried to search her brain for whatever she’d forgotten, but when she didn’t come up with anything, she tentatively asked, “Next month?” The question sounded dumb even to her, but there was nothing for it. She really had no clue what Lexa was talking about. From the way Lexa was looking at her, she knew she probably should though. She racked her brain again, but the only thing that came to mind was the series show she had that was set for a spring opening. That was almost four months away though, not one. It was for a small uptown gallery too, so she’d get one wall, if she was lucky. None of the works she had seen over the last hour were the right dimensions, much less the right format, for a show like that. Not to mention, she’d been giving a specific theme by the gallery manager; all line drawings, no color. She had a few pieces finished for it, and true, now that she was really looking, there were a few in the sketches pile that could be finished and set and be ready for that show, but honestly, she hadn’t even considered that. She’d planned to do anatomy drawings for the whole series, and she’d planned on asking Lexa to model for them.

It seemed like a bad time to bring that up though, especially when Lexa finally said, “Don’t tell me you forgot?” There was more than a little tension in Lexa’s voice, a sternness Clarke had only heard Lexa use when work was involved. From there, it didn’t take her long to figure it out. She suddenly remembered Lexa whispering the idea into her ear, post-coitus of course, and Lexa’s texts from a couple weeks before made more sense too. Lexa wanted to turn the second building at Polaris into an art gallery, at least for one night, and she wanted Clarke’s help organizing it. Lexa wanted Clarke to be the featured artist.

Stuttering and stumbling, Clarke knew she couldn’t even try to act like she hadn’t dismissed the idea, so she simply said, “I, uh, I didn’t really think you were serious…” She attempted a timid, ‘I’m sorry’ smile too, but when she saw actual irritation cross Lexa’s face, she immediately said the words instead, “Lex, I’m sorry, really.”

Watching Lexa shake her head, Clarke half expected more annoyance in Lexa’s tone when Lexa finally said, “It’s ok, babe… I’m glad I mentioned it again then… Although, I— I kinda thought you were excited about it. You, uh, you did make me come like three times right after that, so…” Lexa blushed fiercely as her voice trailed off, and Clarke smiled, remembering that night then too. She had lain Lexa out on the bed and eat her out for about an hour after that little talk. Lexa’s hot breath in her ear had been partly to blame for that though. Sometimes all Lexa had to do was breathe on her and Clarke found herself _needing_ to touch her. Since they’d gotten over Lexa’s little bout of self-consciousness, Clarke had enjoyed Lexa at least once a day, every day, and it had been almost a month since that night. That was a bit of a shocking notion too; it seemed like only a few days before, she’d been pushing Lexa up against her apartment wall and begging for permission to touch her. Clarke thought it was funny how time seemed to fly by, especially when life seemed to have finally gotten good. She figured that when every day was as good as the last, it was harder to distinguish between one and the next anyway.

Every day was good too; _everything_ seemed good. Her relationship with her mom was better than it had ever been, and part of that was due to Raven’s influence. It seemed being happy suited her mom very well. Clarke loved seeing Octavia and Anya on a regular basis too, either when they dropped by the club for a little drinking and dancing, or at their weekly family dinners. Even work was good; things had really perked up since Niylah had started seeing her new beau, Monroe, who was an up-and-coming street artist in the city. Clarke hadn’t met them yet, but from the things Niylah had said, Monroe was definitely someone Clarke wanted to know. She had always admired people would could do big canvas work: installation art and murals and such.

Being with Lexa was the biggest factor in her good days though. Waking up with Lexa every morning, knowing they’d get to go to bed together at the end of the day, was bliss. What's more, she didn’t mind all the mundane things that went along with that domesticity; doing laundry together was fun, and really, more efficient. Washing the dishes after dinner didn’t seem like such a chore either, especially when they snuggled up on the couch to watch a movie afterwards. Even just moving her stuff over to Lexa’s apartment was making her happy, getting to arrange their things together and play-fight over what went where. Honestly, that’s why they were standing in the middle of her childhood bedroom, surrounded by piles of her art, so that they could sort it and stack it and move it. That’s why they were even talking about the Gallery Night at Polaris in the first place.

Suddenly, Clarke was very glad Lexa had mentioned it too. The last thing she wanted was to let Lexa down. As she looked around, she could see at least three pieces that would be perfect for that kind of ‘fly-by-night’ show. It dawned on her then, what the Gallery Night really meant for her. It was a chance to fill a whole room with her art and have people look at it, have her work actually affect people. “I am excited about it… now,” she said cheekily then, hiding her own blush by focusing on her desk still covered in sketches. When Lexa didn’t immediately respond, she ducked her chin a little bit and added, “And, just for the record, I made you come three times that night… because I just like doing it.” Looking back up at Lexa then, her smile widened as the flush on Lexa’s face started to creep down onto her neck.

A startled cough from behind her had a blush creeping down on Clarke’s neck to, and for a completely different reason. When she turned, she saw her mother stumbling back from doorway as if she’d been slapped. Clarke hung her head defeatedly, knowing that not only had she embarrassed herself, but probably Lexa too. It was one thing for her to tease in private, but she knew Lexa hated to be embarrassed in front of an audience. Her mom didn’t get too far down the hall though before Clarke heard Raven calling out, “Ow, shit, Abs… What’s got you running for the hills? They’re not doing it, are they?” Clarke looked back up just in time to catch Raven’s head peek around the doorway, obviously eager to catch them in some compromising position, clearly for relentless teasing purposes.

Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, but leave it to Uncomfortable Lexa to open them both up to ridicule all over again, when Clarke heard her say, “No, we’re not doing it… I mean, we did… but… well, three times actually… But, That’s Not The Point.”

Lexa’s voice was higher pitched than normal and there was a bit of a squeak there at the end. Lexa was obviously growing more uncomfortable by the second, but still, there was nothing Clarke could do but shake her head as Raven all but bounced into the room, crying out, “Oh! A whole three times. You hear that Abs, _Three Times!_ They’ve done it a whooping three times!”

Another startled cough came from the hallway, and Clarke nearly choked right along with her mom, when Lexa tried to fire back, stumbling as she said, “No— We— Three times in a row, not _only_ three times… Damn it, Raven.”

Raven didn’t seem too intimidated by Lexa’s gruff tone though, dancing around the two of them as she continued to tease, “Oh… three in a row, that’s cute… Come talk to me when you’re hitting it five or six times a night, _every night_.”

“Raven—” Abby blurted from the hallway then, only a second before she came swinging around the doorframe, Clarke thinking she looked like she’d just seen a ghost. Clarke was sure she looked that way too, but that was neither here nor there. She had to concentrate on not thinking about her mom and Raven together, like _together_ together, but being confronted with a semi-detailed account of their ‘activities’ was a bit too much for her. She shuddered as a few choice images flashed through her head, and she had to physically shake herself to try to shirk off the weirdness.

Raven may not have been intimidated by Lexa, but Clarke could tell that her mom’s sharp tone had attracted Raven’s attention, and she smiled again when Raven immediately clammed up. She inched towards Lexa then, knowing Lexa probably felt pretty raw at the moment, but then Lexa surprised the hell out of her, when she said, “Yeah, well… you know what they say about quality versus quantity.”

Only a few times in their friendship would Clarke have ever described Raven as speechless, but that moment was definitely one of them. That is, until Raven finally conceded, nodding as she quietly said, “good one, dude… Good one.”

It was probably the closest thing to a compliment Raven had ever said to Lexa, of that Clarke was sure. They were both so head-strong that they didn’t always get along, but Clarke thought that maybe that was changing. The fist bump that Lexa offered Raven then certainly seemed like an olive branch, and when Raven reached out and brushed their knuckles together, Clarke smiled even wider, happy to see them bonding, even if the whole experience still left her feeling a little humiliated. Her mom hadn’t actually walked in on them, but with the way the conversation had gone, she might as well have. When Clarke glanced over at her though, she realized her mom wasn’t thinking about that anymore. She looked like she was enjoying the friendship blooming right in front of them too.

The moment seemed to pass as quickly as it began, and before long, Clarke found herself being shuffled around as Raven took charge of getting all her art downstairs and loaded into the bed of her truck. She truly didn’t mind Raven being bossy; they got the job done in half the time it should have taken. With the help of the dumbwaiter in the dining room, and the stair lift that had been finished a few days before, Clarke didn’t even feel worn out when they were all loaded and ready to go. It would be a different story when they got to Lexa’s… no, their apartment. Living in a three-story walk-up wasn’t so bad but moving into one sucked. She was already tried of those stairs, and they’d only moved about half of her stuff. At least, they still had time before her lease was technically up in January, so they could continue to move her stuff at their own pace. With the load in the back of Raven’s truck she knew she’d be making at least four, if not five or six trips up those stairs that afternoon alone. She definitely wasn’t going to complain about that in front of Raven though, knowing that she would be upset that she couldn’t help. Raven would probably only make the trip once, and even then, she wouldn’t be able to carry much of anything on her way up.

That was pretty much how it went too; Clarke and Lexa carting things up the stairs while Raven ‘organized’ the things they brought up. She had thought her mom was going to be able to help them, but she was on-call and needed to stay close to the hospital just in case. Their apartment wasn’t too far away, if traffic wasn’t bad, but Clarke knew Abby would be in a tough spot if she got called in. Clarke didn’t really mind the alone time with Lexa though, even if they did spend the whole rest of the afternoon discussing details for Gallery Night. As they talked, Clarke realized how much Lexa was asking of her, putting a lot of faith in her, but Clarke found herself genuinely excited by the time they finished unloading Raven’s truck. She was going to make Gallery Night a success, even if it killed her.

The first step in the process was finding other artists to cover the walls in the other dance room. Gallery Night wouldn’t be much of a show with only one artist. Clarke had a few ideas, but she readily agreed when Lexa suggested that she ask Niylah about it too, thinking two heads were better than one. Afterall, Niylah had been owned the supply store for longer than Clarke had been out of high school. It was going to be a few days before they saw each other though, and Clarke didn’t feel like she could wait that long to start figuring things out. So, as she sat down to sort through Raven’s ‘organization’ of her art, she shot Niylah a text, simply, ‘Hey, are you busy?’

After looking over the third seemingly random piece, this one a full-page texture of water droplets, she heard her phone buzz with a reply. ‘Not really. Waiting for Monroe to come over. What’s up?’ popped up on the screen and Clarke smiled, thankful that Niylah’s good mood seemed to be holding. She typed in a reply of her own, reading over it quickly before sending it, ‘I’ll try to make this quick then… Lexa and I are doing a local artist’s night at the club where she works, and I thought maybe you could help me come up with artists to feature.’

Not wanting to just sit and wait, Clarke sat her phone down and started sorting again. She got through another three or four random pieces, two of which she didn’t even remember doing, before she heard her phone buzz again. She quickly sat down the sketch in her hands and traded it for her phone, smile widening when she saw Niylah’s reply, ‘Yeah, I can do that. I’ll ask Monroe too, and let you know who we come up with. You said it’s an… alternative sort of place, right?’ Clarke couldn’t help laughing at that, because that was exactly how she had described it to Niylah; more than once actually, now that she thought about it.

Knowing that Niylah was teasing her, she sent back a simple ‘Yes,’ anyway, but then quickly followed up with an eye-roll emoji for good measure, just in case her sarcasm wasn’t clear enough. She got a tongue-out emoji in response and figured at least she’d gotten the ball officially rolling for Gallery Night, even if Niylah hadn’t done anything but tease her about it yet.

Over the next few days, she and Niylah actually texted back and forth a lot, and Clarke spent any free time she had googling the names Niylah gave her. Apparently, Niylah had good taste, giving her the names of several artists that were at least as good as she was, if not a few that were better. Clarke was a little too proud to admit that out loud, but she did manage to lure two of her top three into committing to a full wall each; and, without embarrassing herself by telling them how good she really thought they were. The third wall was actually the hardest to fill, but there were a lot more parties involved, so it took more coaxing to set up. She thought a mural would be cool, something that would be permanent, but that meant she had to negotiate with Titus and Marcus about paying someone to do it. She was actually surprised with how easily Titus and Marcus agreed, but they did have one stipulation on content. They wanted something dark, to go with the hardcore music that usually played in that room. That made sense enough to Clarke; she knew that any artist they got would want to do something that fit the space. Clarke’s first thought on an artist was Monroe, but that meant she had to negotiate with Niylah to make that happen, as she hadn’t met the mysterious Monroe yet. At least, when Niylah got back to her, it seemed like Monroe was excited about the project, so Clarke figured she was set for other artists.

With that done, she started the arduous process of going through and selecting her own work to show. That took almost a week of her free time, but during that week she also conscripted Raven into helping with some new lighting in the club. She and Raven talked about a few clip lights set up to light the walls, but when Raven showed up to do the job, with Bellamy and Wick and Lincoln in tow, each with a box of track lights in hand, Clarke couldn’t say she wasn’t surprised. What surprised her even more was Titus’ reaction, like he knew what was going to happen before it did. Clarke didn’t see him complain a single time that day either, which seemed totally unnatural. He actually worked alongside Raven and the boys as they installed the new lighting. He showed them where they could tap into the buildings existing power on a spare breaker, and then, did smaller things, like clearing away trash and holding ladders so no one fell. Titus even thanked everyone with a round of free beer when they were done. What Clarke didn’t know at the time was that Lincoln used to work for his dad, who’s a licensed electrician, so he had the connections to get the lighting kits wholesale, making them cost about the same as the little clip lights she had planned. Lincoln also had the training to get it all installed according to fire codes, so the new lighting was more like a capital improvement than the slap-dash job she and Raven had talked about originally. Needless to say, when she found out, Clarke couldn’t say she wasn’t happy about the whole situation.

Meeting up with Niylah and Monroe went well too, even if Monroe wasn’t at all what Clarke was expecting. She wasn’t exactly sure who she’d been expecting, but the five-foot-nothing, androgynous alpha with paint still on their hands, wasn’t it. When she first saw the two of them together, it didn’t make much sense, them together anyway. Niylah was well into her thirties and Monroe was obviously no older than twenty-one, but if her mother and Raven’s relationship was anything to go by, she knew better than to judge things on surface value alone. As she got to know the both of them better, she realized they were kind of perfect for each other. Niylah was soft where Monroe was hard, Niylah was thoughtful and quiet where Monroe was loud and opinionated. Niylah was tall where Monroe was short; they fit together quite well, even if they were pretty much total opposites.

The only thing Clarke hadn’t figured out about Gallery Night was what to do in the hall between the two rooms. She wanted an immersive experience; the whole building to be filled with art, but they hadn’t had enough lighting kits to install the new track lights there, and it was kind of dark as hallways went. So, she was left with trying to figure out a way to have art without light to see it. She thought about trying to find an artist that worked in glow in the dark paints, but quickly realized, after only three phones calls that was a dead end. One day when she was at Polaris checking in on Monroe though, she noticed that the hall was wide enough to set up tables along one wall and still have room for people to pass through along the other. She didn’t need more paintings or sketches to fill the space; she happened to know a few artists who worked in mediums much less fluid.

For example, she knew Niylah had a talent for metalworking and had been making her own jewelry for years. She’d seen the evidence; it seemed that Niylah had a new charm or a new ring every week. Her latest work was a magnificent, silver-dipped, tiger’s-eye pendant on a twisted silver chain. When she approached Niylah about it, Clarke thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, but Niylah just scoffed and turned her down, didn’t even give a reason or an excuse, simply said, “No,” and walked away. Over last two weeks, Clarke thought she had gotten to know Niylah pretty well; at least, better than she had in the three years before that, but still, she didn’t know what to make of Niylah’s abrupt behavior. She knew better than to press the issue though, giving Niylah a couple days to cool off before asking her about it again. When Niylah didn’t get angry or cross right away, Clarke thought that was a good sign, but the way Niylah said, “You don’t know what you’re asking, Clarke,” made Clarke think otherwise. Whatever was stopping Niylah from wanting to sell her work at Polaris was obviously deep and important and heavy. She couldn’t help feeling like Niylah was right on the verge of actually opening up to her though, so Clarke tried to be patient.

After more than a few minutes, waiting in that stilted silence, Niylah finally explained. Years before, on her way home after a one-night stand, Niylah had been attacked; jumped by three men, only a block from her apartment. Her assailants had beaten her nearly half to death by the time they were done, and to add insult to injury, they were never caught either. It had taken a long time, but eventually Niylah had healed, if only physically. She said she’d been wary about going to Polaris with Monroe the first time, even though it was the middle of the day. She explained how she still had problems with loud music and crowded places, and that Polaris looked more like time-bomb than a good time. Clarke couldn’t help laughing at that little comparison, picturing Wile E. Coyote dancing around, having a good time, carrying a big cartoon TNT package with a shiny, gold alarm clock strapped to the front. Her laughter seemed to ease some of Niylah’s anxiety too, until finally Clarke heard her say, “You know what… Fuck it, I’ll do it. You’ll be there right? And Monroe too? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Clarke did not say what she wanted to say, that, ‘Murphy’s law says, what can go wrong will,’ and instead, just smiled and said the complete opposite, “Nothing is gonna go wrong. You’ll have me and Monroe, and Lexa, and probably my mom and Raven too, and some more of our friends… Not to mention all the people you’ll know from the shop. It’ll be like a party with old friends… I can probably even negotiate a lower music volume too…” By the time, she was finished speaking, Niylah was smiling, but internally, Clarke definitely wasn’t anymore. Something about the whole situation nagged at her brain, but without a specific problem to solve, she knew better than to worry; what would be, would be.

 

~~~

 

In the week leading up to Gallery night, Lexa started to feel more and more nervous about it. Not that she didn’t have faith in Clarke to put together the show; it was just that, what if no one showed up. She’d been advertising it on her blog, and she’d asked Gina to create events on the club’s social media accounts. She’d asked Gina to become the sort of de facto promoter, being as she was really the only person who worked there who had any sort of reliable social skills. Lincoln had been Lexa’s second choice if Gina had turned her down, but Lexa knew he had two jobs already and didn’t want to have to saddle him with the responsibility. Especially because, he was part time, and Gina was there six days a week. Thankfully, Gina had agreed though, claiming she could probably even take care of most of it while she was on the clock anyway. It had taken a couple weeks, but Lexa definitely noticed the pattern; Tuesday and Wednesday evenings were especially active times for Polaris on social media. She’d seen all the posts, and all the likes, and all the ‘interest’ in Gallery night, but still she worried what kind of turn out they would actually have when the time came.

Part of that worry was rooted in Titus’ insistence that Gallery night not interfere with the busier nights of the weekend, forcing Lexa to choose between Thursday or Sunday. Thursday night was usually all college kids looking for cheap drinks, and even cheaper dates, but Sunday wasn’t really a better option, being the quietest night of the weekend. They had eventually settled on Sunday anyway, because only the main building was open on Mondays and Tuesdays, so that would leave plenty of time to clean up afterwards. If it was well attended, Lexa figured there would be plenty of mess to clean up. She’d convinced Titus and Marcus to open early, at eight instead of ten, trying to get a bigger crowd. Titus had grumbled about their liquor license not covering anything but beer and wine before ten, but Lexa had simply shaken her head as Marcus pointed out the flaw in Titus’ argument, saying, “Well then, we’ll just serve beer and wine…until I can get our license extended, anyway.” They’d come to a pretty easy compromise on the cover, keeping it at ten dollars a head like always, but offering a free glass of wine or draft beer upon entry. It would be a cash bar after that, at least until they opened the main part of the club at ten. At the moment, the back bar didn’t have a credit card machine, but that was another thing Marcus was planning on rectifying in near future too.

The more they talked and strategized and compromised together, the more Lexa found herself respecting Marcus. She could tell he had once been a hard man, still displaying some of his sternness here and there, but she could see he also knew how to have fun and go with the flow. She could tell he respected her too, and that went a long way towards winning her over. He was levelheaded in a way that Titus wasn’t too, which made it all that much easier to deal with him. He wasn’t scared of spending a little money either, paying for the lighting improvements without a compliant, and quickly agreeing to Monroe’s fee for the mural, even offering Monroe a key so they could come and go as they pleased during the day. He got one for Clarke too, at Lexa’s suggestion, and Clarke had been overjoyed when Lexa had presented her with it.

Of course, Clarke wasn’t as happy as she had been when Lexa had given her a key to _their_ apartment though. That night Lexa could barely get Clarke through the door before Clarke was ripping her clothes off. Not that Lexa usually minded Clarke’s enthusiasm, but old Misses McVety was out int the hall, probably drawn out of her apartment by how loud Clarke was being. Lexa was sure she had overheard Clarke when she’d said, “Come on, Lexa. Get it in there… Or, am I gonna have to do it myself?” Lexa had been struggling getting her key into the lock, too distracted by Clarke’s hands dipping under her shirt to concentrate properly, but when she heard Misses McVety snicker, she knew exactly how the old woman had taken the comment. She’d tried to teach Clarke a lesson in patience after that, but as always, Lexa was pretty much helpless to resist when Clarke started begging. And, God, could Clarke beg, saying all sorts of dirty things when Lexa made her wait; things like, “Please, baby… please fuck me. I— need you _so bad_ ,” or, “Lexa… please… make me come for you… _make me yours_ …”

Those words were some of Lexa’s favorites; the breathy ‘pleases,’ the little declarations of devotion and submission. Every time Clarke said things like that, it made Lexa go to war with her instincts though. She’d left quite a few bruises, had even left the skin over Clarke’s scent raw as the day she was born a few times, but they hadn’t actually bonded yet. It was something Lexa’s alpha wanted, of course, but there was always that little doubt in the back of her mind. Clarke skirted around the subject whenever she asked about it too, and Lexa tried not to let that get to her, usually too comfortably wrapped in Clarke’s arms to really get upset. During the day, when she was working in her studio and Clarke was off at work too, she found herself thinking about whether Clarke ever wanted to bond with her. Her previous experiences with Costia left her wondering if that was what she wanted as well, but she knew deep down, that if she was ever going to bond with anyone again, she wanted it to be Clarke. They fallen for each other so easily, and they were already living together. Lexa couldn’t imagine a day where she didn’t wake up with Clarke by her side, but if Clarke wanted to be illusive about the subject, Lexa decided she would stop pushing the issue too. She wanted to just enjoy what they had instead.

When Gallery night, finally, actually, happened, what they had… was a line down the block. Around seven-thirty, Lexa made her way out to the side entrance on the patio. She needed to check in with Ryder and make sure he was ready to open. What she found surprised the hell out of her. There were already at least fifty people waiting to get in. Some were family; Anya and Octavia were maybe ten-people back from the door, and Abby and Raven were only a few clumps of people behind them. Lexa made sure to greet them all, welcoming the other people she knew along the way. She’d never really been the hostess type, but she tried, assuring people that they’d be opening soon and telling them to be patient. She even managed to make a few jokes, drawing laughs from folks she hadn’t spoken to in well-over a year. She took her time making her way through the line and back, lingered really, but she sure that everything was getting the finishing touches inside, so she didn’t worry. Clarke was still in there, bossing people around; Clarke had been bossing Lexa around all day too, but Lexa didn’t mind, because she knew why. Clarke just wanted everything to be perfect, and honestly, that was what Lexa had wanted too, not just for herself and for Polaris, but for Clarke as well. She knew what a big opportunity this could be for Clarke’s career; any exposure was good exposure. So, even when Clarke had barked at her for dropping a painting, Lexa had just smiled and kissed her and went about hanging the painting she’d dropped like it was no big deal, because it wasn’t. She’d do anything to make Clarke happy, including swallow her pride.

By ten minutes to eight, there were more like a hundred people waiting in line, and the people towards the front were starting to get restless. A little worried they might leave if Polaris didn’t open soon, Lexa shot off a quick to text to Clarke, simply, ‘You ready?’ Maybe only thirty seconds later, she got a thumbs-up back. She glanced around for Titus then too, knowing he wasn’t far; he’d been tagging along behind her all day. She spotted him across the patio, and when their eyes met, he gave a definitive nod. That was all the permission she needed. For the next several minutes, Lexa was immersed in helping Ryder check everyone’s ID’s, trying to get through the line as quickly as possible. She looked at so many faces in those few minutes that they all became a blur, but she made sure to check birth dates on every card that passed through her hand. The absolute-last thing they needed was getting caught with someone underage inside. The fines alone could bankrupt Polaris.

For the most part, the crowd flooded onto the patio like an army breaking through a barricaded door; most beelining for the bar with free drink tickets already out in their hands. There were a few who lingered on the patio though, milling about while they finished cigarettes and chatted with their friends. It seemed like any other night, but Lexa knew it wasn’t; she knew it was special and she wanted to be able to share at least some of it with Clarke. Thankfully, with the line gone down and most people inside, Ryder didn’t need her help anymore, so Lexa made her own way back inside. Everywhere she looked, there were people, but Lexa was overjoyed to find so many of them crammed into the smaller dance room, surrounded by Clarke’s art. It was sort of surreal, seeing this thing that she and Clarke had put so much effort into, made real and actually being successful. She spotted Clarke off in one corner then, besotted by admirers and well-wishers; Abby and Raven, and Anya and Octavia among the crowd standing around her. Lexa thought Clarke was absolutely glowing, obviously soaking up all the attention. Whether they were standing next to Clarke or looking at one of her paintings on the opposite wall, every person in the room was at least thinking about her, and obviously, Clarke was enjoying the feeling. Lexa sighed herself, as she crossed the room to stand with Clarke, too captivated by Clarke’s radiance not to be near her.

Over the next hour, Clarke was dragged away from her a few times, discussing purchase options and shipping methods with a couple of people who wanted to buy her work. Lexa always managed to find her again when Clarke was done though, kissing her cheek and congratulating her each time. Clarke seemed to glow brighter and brighter as time went on too, her happiness so apparent and contagious that when it was time for Lexa to go get the main building ready to open, she really didn’t want to leave. She knew she had to, and she had organized a couple of extra-long mixes for her breaks that night, but still, that didn’t make it any easier to leave Clarke’s side. Eventually, although still reluctantly, Lexa excused herself, pressing a tender kiss to Clarke’s lips, promising she’d be back soon.

When Lexa returned to the patio, she found quite the crowd had gathered, all waiting to get into the main building this time. There were so many people she had to sort of fight her way across, and by the time she finally got into the booth, she realized she hadn’t really left herself enough time to get things situated before they needed to open. She rushed through her set-up as fast as she could anyway, setting her pre-arranged mixes to upload into the system first, instead of last, thinking she could save time, and possibly her own ass, if she happened to not be ready in time. All that worry seemed to be wasted though, because by five minutes to ten, Lexa’s mixes were all uploaded, and her track lists were organized, and she was ready; well, as ready as she could be without having mixed through a few songs as a warm-up. She didn’t really need the practice; mixing music was like a second nature to her, but she usually liked having some time to get into the headspace before she actually started mixing live. That just wasn’t the cards though.

Before she knew it, Titus was striding across the empty dance floor, calling out, “Once more, into the breach!” The quote made Lexa smile, despite the violent overtones. She had heard him say that same phrase so many times that it was almost comforting. Usually, it sounded more like a joke than a threat, but something about the way Titus said it that night made her wonder if something was wrong. He seemed tired, almost depressed, like all he wanted was for the night to be over, and it had really only just begun. Trying to put those thoughts out of her head though, Lexa struck up her first track, only seconds before the doors opened.

It seemed they’d developed a bit of a line at the front entrance too, and people kept streaming in, to the point that Lexa thought they would reach capacity far earlier than they had any night in the last month. That would be a feat, especially for a Sunday night, but the crowd seemed like a mixed bunch, so it made sense. Some people were obviously there for the booze and the music and the dancing, but there were also quite a few that lingered only for a minute or two before finding their way to the patio door. There was a fairly equal stream of folks trying to come in through the patio door too, and it made Lexa smile to see people from obviously different backgrounds being courteous to each other as they came and went through the same narrow doorway.

Keeping her hands pretty much permanently attached to the decks, Lexa mostly just felt her way through the mix, listening and moving, changing and tweaking things as she went, watching the crowd swish and sway with her every whim. She loved the feeling of power and control that being behind the decks gave her, but without Clarke nearby, either sitting and sketching, or dancing and singing in the booth with her, it didn’t feel quite the same. It was kind of irrational to think that way, after only about two months together, but something about being separated from Clarke suddenly didn’t feel right. It felt really wrong actually, like a knot twisting so tight in her stomach that she thought she might puke. Her hands clenched into fists as she tried to breathe, tried to rationalize. Clarke was fine, she was sure of it. She was surrounded by friends and family and was having a good time, probably making money and making contacts for future shows or commissions too. She was fine, and happy, and in one piece.

Lexa’s thoughts did little to soothe her aching stomach though, and she quickly decided she needed to see Clarke for herself, needed to be absolutely certain Clarke was alright. She’d only felt pain like this once before, the day Costia died, and that worried her. Somewhere in her rational mind, she knew that she and Clarke weren’t mated, and that she couldn’t possibly be experiencing separation pains. Too bad, her rational mind checked out right about the time she looked up from the decks and found a set of emotionless, dead eyes staring up at her from the middle of the dance floor. It took her a minute to actually see who she was seeing, the pain in her stomach lurching the moment their eyes met, but eventually she realized it was the weird guy from Grounder’s, and from Polaris before that. His face was scruffier and totally unshaven; the hair on the top of his head was longer too, but not necessarily in an unkept way. His lips were pressed in a tight line, his shoulders and hips stiff as well. People moved all around him, but he didn’t move an inch, unless someone moved in between them. Even then, he only moved enough to fix their eyes together again. Those eyes were like a bottomless abyss too, completely devoid of emotion or thought or reality. Lexa found herself desperate to look away, fearing she would fall into that emptiness and never be able to crawl out again, but when she saw his lips twitch and his nostrils flare, she finally realized what was happening.

This man was the one that was causing her muscles to cramp and twist; she could smell it once she was focusing on it. The slithering tendrils of his scent were working their way into her nose like a clutch of poisonous snakes, spreading venom and bile everywhere they touched. It was sneaky and cutthroat, but it was certainly meant to be a challenge, and Lexa reacted as such, snarling as her fists clenched tighter against the decks, pressing her own will back at him. She was delighted when she saw a spark of apprehension flash in those dead eyes, but when she noticed the subtle smirk gracing his thin lips, she realized she was playing right into his game; whatever game that might be was still to be revealed, but Lexa knew she couldn’t simply play by his rules. She had to find a way to make up her own.

Their intense staring contest ended as abruptly as it began, the man simply raising his eyebrows at her before turning on his heel and heading for the patio door. Lexa cursed under her breath as she watched him slip through the crowd, throwing her headphones on as quickly as she could and dialing up one of her long mixes. It only took about three counts of eight to get it close enough, and Lexa hastily flipped the switch. She grimaced as the beats doubled before the old track faded out, but she couldn’t care about that at the moment. Whoever this guy was, he was obviously heading for Clarke and she wasn’t about to let one crashing beat keep her from getting in between the two of them.

Stomping her way across the dance floor, Lexa didn’t even pause when Titus tried to get in her way, snarling as she heard him say, “Heda, what the hell?” She pushed right through him, not quite barreling him over, but she definitely heard him stumble and curse in her wake. Again, she couldn’t care, not with the tension in her stomach rising higher and higher. Finally breaking out onto the patio, she hesitated for a moment, quickly scanning the crowd. She wasn’t exactly sure where Clarke was, but she could feel herself growing more desperate every second she didn’t see her omega. Lexa started looking with her nose as well as her eyes, but instead of finding Clarke’s sweet earthy scent, all she found was more of the man’s bile clouding the air. She quickly decided to follow his scent instead of looking for Clarke, figuring she’d probably find them both faster that way anyway. She just hoped she found them in time to prevent whatever awful thing this strange man seemed to have planned. She was expecting something awful too; something absolutely terrible, her gut wrenching and twisting all that much tighter as she followed the snake slithering through the crowd somewhere ahead of her.

Giving chase as fast as she could, Lexa used the pain to fuel her, but even with her determination, she was still too late. She whirled around the corner into the smaller dance room, only to find the man already too close to Clarke for her comfort. There were twenty-five or thirty people in between them, but Lexa could still feel Clarke’s alarm, and she snarled when the man pushed the last few steps into Clarke’s space, taking liberties he should not be taken by slipping his sneaky hand along her lower back. She watched in horrified silence as Clarke turned into him, only to stumble when she realized who was holding her. Sharp pains shot up her wrists from how hard her fists clenched then, and Lexa felt her skin burn where her nails were digging into her palms. She bit down on the pain though, her mind too focused on getting to Clarke to process the sensations properly. The idea of physically pulling the man off Clarke passed through her mind and she found she actually wanted to do just that, but she didn’t get the chance. Not two seconds later, she heard someone shouting, a voice so filled with rage and pain that she paused before taking her next step; a voice screaming the man’s name, “FINN!”

All eyes in the room turned then, fixing on the source of the shouting, and Lexa turned with them, finally noticing Raven, only a few steps behind Clarke. She could see the vehemence of righteous anger burning in Raven’s eyes, but as Raven closed the distance between herself and Finn, Lexa moved with her, preparing to intervene if Finn turned on Raven instead. She kept her eyes trained on the three of them as she skirted through the stunned crowd, ears perking as she heard Raven’s rage boil over again, “What the actual FUCK do you think you’re doing here?” She could see him flinch as Raven’s furious tone sank in, and she smirked as his hand fell down to his side, leaving Clarke free to take a step back. He was so focused on Raven he didn’t even notice Clarke recoiling from him. He didn’t notice Lexa either, and after only another juke to the side, Lexa found herself breaking through, joining Raven and Clarke and Finn in the quickly widening semi-circle of the crowd.

Clarke moved to her like a magnet to steel then, and Lexa sighed, utterly relieved, as she felt Clarke’s arms wrap firmly around her waist and squeeze. With Clarke’s head buried against her collarbone, sniffling and sobbing, Lexa was only dimly aware of what happened after that; watching with vague interest as Finn was trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey by an overeager Octavia, and then being dragged out by his arm by Ryder. She barely heard the gasps and murmurs of the crowd as the spectacle unfolded and then was ultimately resolved. All she could focus on, was feeling Clarke against her, the muscles in her stomach finally relaxing as Clarke’s warmth settled deep inside her.

The rest of the night was kind of a blur too. She was sure she spoke to people after; thanked Octavia and Raven both for stepping in to defend Clarke, apologized to Titus for her rudeness and her dereliction of duty in the DJ booth. She even made her way back to the booth at one point, setting things to run on autopilot. At that point, she knew she wasn’t in the right mindset to try to influence a crowd. She’d probably just end up driving people away from the club anyway. She certainly didn’t let go of Clarke the rest of the night though, even going so far as to go into the bathroom with her when Clarke needed to go. Clarke didn’t seem to mind though; Clarke didn’t really seem coherent either, but when Lexa suggested they simply call it a night, Clarke was adamant in her response, saying, “No… If we let him ruin our night, then he wins.” Lexa hadn’t argued with that, happy to take Clarke along with her as they both drifted through the rest of the evening.

 

~~~

 

Seeing Finn, reduced to a crazed, grief-stricken monster, was too much for Clarke to handle. From the first moment she realized it was his hand grasping her waist, and not Lexa’s, she felt this sense of overwhelming dread, and as he pressed into her side, the feeling merely set deeper into her bones. Looking into his eyes was like a slap to the face, realization dawning on her, that she had somehow turned a sweet gentle guy into this seething wretch of a man in front of her. Rationally, she knew that people make their own choices and that Finn made his own too, but the depth of his sorrow haunted her, even long after he’d been dragged out of the club. Whether she liked it or not, she’d had a hand in the making of that monster, and it was something she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to forgive herself for.

Luckily, Lexa was like a rock as she crashed into the beach of her own misery, holding her, and holding her up, as she cried for the boy she thought she’d known. Even when she’d cried herself out, Lexa was still there, offering to take her home, but Clarke knew that she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t let Finn win like that, so instead she followed Lexa like a lost puppy the rest of the night, drifting along behind her, half in a daze. She was so consumed by her thoughts that she didn’t even realize what time it was when Lexa finally said, “Come on, love. We can leave now, everyone else is heading out too.” Broken out of her stupor, Clarke looked around then, only to find Lexa was right. The bustling crowd was gone, and most the people that were left were staff, cleaning up after the busy night. She saw Raven and her mom, and Octavia and Anya, all waiting by the door for them, seemingly at ease after the more intense events of the evening. She tried to pluck herself up as she and Lexa made their way out the booth, and across to them, only letting go of Lexa’s hand when she saw her mom turn towards her with open arms.

It seemed Lexa wasn’t too pleased with the loss of contact though, and she sighed as she felt Lexa’s hand come to rest on her lower back, even as she hugged her mom tighter. It felt good though, her mother’s arms around her, Lexa’s lingering touch. She felt more hands then too, and she pulled her face away from her mom’s shoulder just as Raven joined their hug, wrapping an arm around each of them. The full heat of Lexa’s body met her back, and another hand met her shoulder, before sliding across to the other. She sighed as Octavia’s chest press into her free side a moment later. The group hug felt more than good then, but when she heard a little huff, she peaked up over Octavia’s shoulder and quickly realized someone was feeling left out. She almost laughed at the haughty look on Anya’s face, but instead she smiled as she said, “It’s ok, Anya. You know you wanna get in on this…” Anya gave a little head shake, but joined in anyway, and when Anya’s warmth was finally added to the pile, blocking Clarke’s view of anything that wasn’t the love all around her, Clarke finally felt like she could think again.

Their little love fest was broken up a minute later, when the club’s fluorescent lights kicked on, and one by one, her family pulled away, until she and Lexa were the only ones still standing there. She vaguely heard her mom say something about calling if she needed anything, but Clarke knew she wouldn’t; all she needed in that moment was for Lexa to keep holding her, keep touching her, keep their connection alive. And, Lexa didn’t stop touching her, even when she settled into the passenger’s seat of Lexa’s car. Lexa just climbed right over her, grunting a little as she crawled over the console and landed in the driver’s seat. Clarke couldn’t help laughing about it, Lexa antics finally breaking through her gloom. It felt good to remember how to laugh too; that she could laugh at all. It warmed her in a way she didn’t feel like she could be warmed anymore, slowly thawing the numbness of her mind.

Lexa’s hand, rubbing soft circles on her thigh, was doing a good job of warming her in other ways too, and by the time they reached their apartment, she was feeling downright hot all over; to the point where she could feel her shirt sticking to her sweaty skin. As they made their way up the stairs, she noticed a little sheen of sweat along the back of Lexa’s neck as well, and Clarke was struck with the sudden urge to bury her face in the side of Lexa’s neck, if only to get a taste of her. The longer she resisted, the stronger that urge became too, until she found herself pressing Lexa against the inside of their front door, swiping her tongue across Lexa’s scent gland in a desperate swath.

Lexa groaned, stiffening against her, obviously torn on how to react, but Clarke didn’t take her hesitation as an unwillingness to continue, especially when she felt Lexa’s fingertips dig into fabric covering her hips. Actually, that tight grip, combined with Lexa’s head craning to the side, was a fairly obvious invitation to continue, and so, Clarke did, zeroing in with the tip of her tongue to tease at that sensitive patch of skin just under Lexa’s ear. Lexa’s grip became ever tighter, and she hissed when Clarke decided to stop teasing and suck at the skin there instead. Clarke knew she was making a mark, but that was kind of the point. There was something primal driving her; she needed to mark Lexa, needed to know that, whenever Lexa looked in the mirror, she would know how much she was wanted, how much she was loved and appreciated. Clarke felt like she needed Lexa to mark her too, so that the next time some knothead thought about putting their hands on her, maybe they would think twice before encroaching on someone else’s territory.

Not that she felt like she was Lexa’s property, but she knew she belonged to Lexa; just like Lexa belonged to her too. They simply hadn’t made it official yet. A soft voice in Clarke’s head suggested, ‘ _maybe, it’s time to change that._ ’ That voice was more and more persuasive the longer Clarke sucked and nipped at Lexa’s neck, to the point where it was getting hard to think of reasons not to bond with Lexa right then. She knew Lexa was ready; Lexa had already brought it up, twice. Both times, it was post-coitus, and Clarke hadn’t had the energy to even think about such serious things at the time, but now it was a nice daydream to drift into; thinking about growing old with Lexa, sharing kisses and kids and kitchen chores, sharing a whole life together.

It heated her skin just to think about it, with her lips still caressing Lexa’s scent, massaging the hard knot of flesh with her tongue and her teeth. She knew she couldn’t just sink her teeth into Lexa right then though; mostly because she didn’t really have permission, but especially because she could feel the still fading scar covering the skin under her lips. If she was going to permanently mark Lexa, it would be on the other side of her neck. Of that, Clarke was completely sure. She wouldn’t cover Costia’s scar; she’d never replace Costia anyway, she knew that. She didn’t want to either, Costia’s life, and her death, were parts of Lexa now, and Clarke knew better than to think Lexa wasn’t a better person because of those parts.

The way Lexa had reacted to Finn was evidence of that change in perspective. Any other alpha would have gone after Finn themselves; she’d seen how focused Anya had been on Tristan at Octavia’s fight. Obviously, losing a mate had taught Lexa to look at things differently though. Lexa had descended on her like a comet caught up in Earth’s gravity, burning her way through that crowd in a matter of moments, only to shelter her as she watched someone else take care of the intruder on her territory. Any other alpha would have ripped Finn’s throat out, or at least hurt him as they drug him out of Polaris themselves. Not Lexa though; Lexa was sweet and kind and solid, patient and calculating, almost to a fault. She was beautiful and passionate and warm too; the perfect combination of hard and soft, of pleasure and pain, of frost and fire.

Actually, everything felt really warm. Lexa’s pulse was pounding against her lips, searing them a little more with every pulse. Everywhere their skin touched, Clarke could feel that same burn. Even Lexa’s breath scorched Clarke’s skin as Lexa panted beside her ear. As if being aware of it somehow intensified the feeling, Clarke suddenly had to pull away. She was too hot; she needed to get out of all these clothes, maybe even take a cold shower. She almost felt like she had a fever, and she desperately hoped she wasn’t getting the flu or something. The last thing she needed was to be stuck in bed the next three or four days. She had commissions to get started on and works to finish for her gallery show uptown. Simply, she had shit to do, and couldn’t afford to spend the week sick and in bed.

When Lexa groaned again, she pushed those thoughts aside though, trying to focus of Lexa instead. Lexa’s face was easily as sweaty as her own, and her lips were drawn together in a tight line. Clarke pressed closer, not sure what was going on, but when her hips met Lexa’s, she realized exactly what was happening. Sometimes stress has a funny way of effecting the body, and Clarke was obviously still reacting to the stress Finn had caused. The best Clarke could figure, Lexa was merely reacting to that reaction. She ran through a little check list in her mind then, thinking, ‘Hot and sweaty for no good reason: Check… Super, Fucking, Horny: Check… Daydreaming about claiming Lexa: Check…’ From there, it didn’t take much to connect those dots, and sort of unintentionally, Clarke blurted out, “I’m in… I’m going into heat!”

Lexa’s response was more of a grunt than anything, but Clarke got the gist, simply, “Huh, Uh-huh…” Lexa’s hips jerked forward too, and even though Clarke knew she wasn’t due for her heat for another week, or maybe even two, the proof was pressed tightly in between them anyway. Lexa had changed, and she was already hard; unbelievably so, if the swollen place at the front of Lexa’s jeans was anything to go by. Clarke shuddered at the idea of Lexa pushing that bulge inside her, filling her fuller than she’s ever been. The image of Lexa sinking her teeth into her pulse, claiming her for all to see, skittered through her brain too, but that drew Clarke up short. ‘ _Was it still so soon?’_ Clarke thought then, wondering what her friends would think, what her mother would think. She knew her mom didn’t have a leg to stand on about it really, but with Lexa hot and swollen and ready against her, Clarke didn’t think about any of that for too long. Not when she could think of some many better things she could be concentrating on, like getting Lexa into their bed and then riding her into oblivion.

It didn’t take much to get what she wanted either. All she had to say was, “Lexa, take me to bed…” and Clarke felt herself being lifted off the floor. She swayed into Lexa’s arms then, quickly wrapping her legs around Lexa’s waist, trying to gain some stability. She swayed even more as Lexa took off towards their bedroom, Lexa obviously just as eager as she was to get there. She tugged in Lexa’s hair as they went, holding on for dear life as Lexa skidded through the doorway of their bedroom. She was kind of surprised by Lexa’s sense of urgency, but then they finally reached the bed and Lexa lowered her onto it. Her sex dragged heavily over the prominent bulge of Lexa’s shaft as they moved against each other, and when Lexa twitched violently at the contact, Clarke realized why Lexa was so eager. Lexa was probably about three seconds from coming in her pants.

It was a mad dash to remove those clothes then, Clarke immediately going for Lexa’ pants while Lexa tried to get her out of her top. With fumbling fingers, Clarke barely managed to get Lexa’s belt unbuckled before Lexa was pulling her shirt over her head. Clarke felt her bra being unclasped only a few seconds later, but this time she held on long enough to get Lexa’s jeans completely undone before she let Lexa pull her bra over her hands. She didn’t even notice the cool rush of air that sild against her nipples, hardening them to tight peaks, because suddenly, Lexa’s shirt was gone too. There was a fine sheen of sweat everywhere Clarke could see, and she wanted to just lick every inch of that shiny, bronzed skin. When Lexa’s bra followed her shirt though, Clarke got distracted again, staring up at those pert little nipples, probably just as hard as her own surely were. From that angle, Lexa was like a goddess, all hard lines and sharp points, each one glistening and straining.

Clarke’s eyes followed Lexa’s hands as they moved back down her own body, but when Lexa’s fingers began playing with the tops of her briefs, Clarke reached out on instinct, stilling Lexa’s hands. She wanted that privilege for herself. She looked up to meet Lexa’s eyes as she dipped her fingers into the sides of those briefs and began pulling them down. She wanted to see the look in Lexa’s eyes as she freed her shaft from its obviously tight confines. It was a beautiful moment too; the brief flash of relief before Lexa’s head tilted back, a sigh escaping her lips. Clarke couldn’t help herself then; she surged forwards blindly, needing to feel that relief for herself too. Lexa’s shaft bumped her nose at first, but Clarke quickly got her bearings, and then grabbed Lexa’s ass with both hands. Before she knew what she was doing, she was pulling Lexa’s hips flush against her face. Lexa’s shaft drove all the way to the back of her throat and beyond, but she sucked air in through her nose, opening her throat at the last second before she gagged.

With Lexa buried that deep, her eyes instantly began to water, but she kept them open as long as she could, loving the way all the muscles in Lexa’s body pulsed and clenched. She needed to see it the moment Lexa gave in and came down her throat. All it took was one swallow too, the muscles of her throat dragging roughly over the head, before Clarke got exactly what she wanted. Lexa’s come swamped her throat then, the shaft chugging and spasming inside her mouth, forcing Clarke to swallow again and again, or else she would get overwhelmed by the load Lexa was releasing. The rush tapered off faster than Clarke wanted it to, but she wasn’t about to give up on getting a little more of Lexa’s taste in her mouth, quickly bobbing back and forth a few times to coax it out. Satisfied when a weak spirt hit the back of her throat, Clarke pulled back. She was determined not to let a single drop get away for her though, sucking at Lexa’s skin the whole way, until Lexa’s shaft finally slipped from between her lips with a wet slurp.

Opening her eyes, the first thing Clarke noticed was how hard Lexa still was, her blunt head still straining out to meet her gaze. She just watched it for a moment, flushing and quivering right before her eyes. She felt Lexa’s fingers card through her hair though, and she leaned into the pressure, dipping forward ever closer to that head, feeling the urge to take it right back into her mouth all over again. It seemed Lexa had some other ideas though, using her grip to pull her away at the last second, denying her. She whined, utterly displeased, but when Lexa’s hand gently tilted her head back, she understood why. The look in Lexa’s eyes was downright ravenous, and when Lexa started to push her back down onto the bed, she went along willingly, wanting whatever her alpha wanted of her.

Her breathe hitched as Lexa knelt on the floor between her knees. Maybe it was from the cool rush of air as Lexa’s began pulling her leggings down, or maybe it was just the sight of Lexa supplicating herself before her. She knew what it meant for an alpha to kneel before an omega, and the devotion of such an action was not lost on Clarke in the slightest. The way Lexa was looking at her though, made her ache for contact, for friction, for anything and everything Lexa would give her. “Please, Lex… I— Need—” was all she could get out before Lexa’s head suddenly ducked forward. The heat of Lexa’s mouth was overwhelming then, even to Clarke’s overheated sex, and she cried out as Lexa’s lips closed around her clit and sucked. She almost came, the sudden pressure nearly too much for her to bear, but then Lexa’s lips drifted lower, sucking on her lips and apex of her thighs. It wasn’t long before Clarke was ruining the sheets, dripping wetness with each press of Lexa’s lips.

That seemed to be the point though, because after only a minute or two of suckling kisses and sloppy slurps, Lexa began kissing and licking up her body instead, leaving little love bites and hickeys along the way. When their lips finally met, Lexa sank into her body, molding them together, pressing her down into the bed, but Clarke didn’t mind. If Lexa needed a second before she got moving again that was alright; at least for the moment. She knew it would only be a minute; she could feel Lexa’s length twitching against her skin, hot and heavy, squashed in between their bellies. She gasped when she realized Lexa’s knot had already popped though. The base was rock hard and swollen, and it felt so, so hot. Clarke thought for a second, she might actually be getting burned purely from it touching her skin. She groaned when she felt Lexa’s entire body quiver, obviously itching for friction, and again, before she really knew what she was doing, Clarke bucked her hips and grabbed Lexa’s shoulders, rolling them until she ended up on top.

Lexa lay breathless beneath her then, a greedy smile on her face. Her eyes were absolutely pitch black too. Her pupils were dilated to the point that there was nothing left of the warm green color Clarke was so used to seeing. Not that she didn’t love seeing this Lexa too; the wild, primal thing ready to split her open at the seams was a welcome sight, but Clarke wanted _more_ , and she needed to know that Lexa was ready for _more_ too. She opened her mouth to ask, to say, ‘Lexa, will you be my mate?’ but she only got as far a dry wheeze before she clammed up again. It seemed her hesitation flipped a switch inside Lexa too, and after a second, Clarke watched as Lexa’s pupils shrank and shrank, until that lush jade ring finally returned to Lexa’s eyes. Clarke felt the words sink all the way inside her, when Lexa finally whispered, “c-clarke, I want… want you, however you want… just you, forever.”

Those words felt like some kind of balm being slathered all over her; soothing her hot, itchy skin and dulling the ache of her muscles clenching together. Time seemed to slow, and the moment drew out for what felt like ages as they stared into each other’s eyes. Clarke couldn’t believe how lucky she was, to have found someone who seemed so perfect for her; someone who she just happened to be perfect for too. They were one the same page, on the same line, on the same word, and that word was _time_. It was time, _their time_ , and Clarke didn’t want to waste another second of it. She slowly scooted up onto her knees and slid one of her hands down in between them. Lexa shivered and her shaft was even hotter than Clarke expected it feel, but she didn’t hesitate for a second, holding it steady against her entrance as she finally started to sink down onto it. She was so drenched that Lexa slid inside with ease, but the slow stretch stole Clarke’s breath anyway, forcing her to hold herself up off of Lexa’s knot for a moment as she adjusted.

Feeling Lexa’s hips twitch though, Clarke figured there was an all-out war going on inside Lexa’s mind. Her instincts were surely screaming at her to push up, to push all the way inside, but Clarke was oh-so-glad Lexa was resisting. She didn’t want this to be over, _ever_ , and being on top, she knew she could stretch things out if she wanted; if her alpha would let her. She couldn’t linger forever however; her heat was already simmering to the surface again too. When she felt Lexa’s fingers dig into the skin covering her hips, she dropped into her alpha’s hands, her hips rolling down of their own accord, pushing her onto the top of Lexa’s knot. A groan filled the air then, but at that point, Clarke wasn’t sure if the sound was hers or Lexa’s. She felt Lexa’s hips twitch again though, thrusting up the slightest bit, and Clarke realized it wouldn’t be long before Lexa lost that battle of wills going on inside her. As much as she wanted to keep control, Clarke wasn’t sure she’d be able to if Lexa started taking her, even from underneath her. She decided to up the pace, rolling her hips a little faster with each pass, hoping it would be enough to appease Lexa’s alpha.

Groaning and moaning, Clarke took a little more of Lexa inside her with each roll of her hips, until it really felt like she was fucking herself on Lexa’s knot. She’d let herself fall until the crown almost popped inside and then withdraw. She pulled all the way up too, only letting the head remain inside. The pace was probably still a little too slow for Lexa, but Clarke grinned, when after a few strokes, she didn’t feel Lexa’s hips twitch again. The fullness and stretch were doing wonders for Clarke too, forcing her take a firmer grip on Lexa’s shoulders as she bore down harder and harder, wiggling and twisting her hips with each drive forward, only to copy the movement as she withdrew for another pass. Her thighs were burning, and sweat was running down her back in rivers, but Clarke kept going, sinking her nails into Lexa’s skin as she drove herself closer and closer to the edge. She wanted to come; she’d wanted to come since the first moment they stepped through the front door, but she wanted Lexa to come with her more than anything. She wanted Lexa to come with her, every time for the rest of their lives.

The thought sent her arching forward, immediately burying her face in Lexa’s shoulder, her lips blindly searching Lexa’s skin, until she finally found the hard gland under Lexa’s ear. The second her tongue lapper over the sensitive skin, Lexa arched into her as well, and the most beautiful words Clarke had ever heard fell from Lexa’s lips, right into her ear, “T-take what’s yours, love… I’m yours…” Time absolutely stopped then, as Clarke took Lexa’s scent between her teeth and sank down one last time. A long, slow groan vibrated against her teeth as she clamped down, both on Lexa’s knot and Lexa’s skin. Lexa’s essence filled her to bursting a moment later, and she shuddered as her insides rippled and flowed, drawing Lexa deeper inside her than she ever had before. The flood of emotions that rushed over her was just as overwhelming as the moment allowed too. She could actually feel Lexa inside her heart, feel Lexa’s love deep in her bones, but instead of making her feel relieved it only made her itch. There was something missing, and she didn’t have to think hard to realize what it was; she needed Lexa’s mark on her as well. She needed Lexa to complete their connection, needed Lexa to feel her love too.

 

~~~

 

The second they were enclosed in the car together Lexa could smell it; Clarke’s heat was coming, or Clarke’s body was simply reacting to the stress of their evening, but either way, Clarke was calling to Lexa like a siren’s song. She resisted the change at first, not sure if that was something that was even on Clarke’s mind at the moment. She at least wanted to show some restraint, especially in the face of Clarke’s dazed mood. Instead, she tried to soothe Clarke as she drove them back to their apartment, rubbing little circles against Clarke’s thigh, hoping the light touch would help Clarke remain calm. Clarke’s scent kept shifting though, calling louder and louder, making it harder and harder for Lexa to concentrate. The walk from the car to their building seemed like just the bit of relief she needed, but she was acutely aware of the way Clarke was watching her as they made their way up the stairs. The hungry gleam in Clarke’s eyes was all Lexa needed to see to know they wouldn’t make it beyond the front door before Clarke was on her.

She had a decision to make, and only ten short steps to make it in. She wanted Clarke; she _always_ wanted Clarke, but she worried that they were about to cross a line they couldn’t uncross. Sure, they’d shared a heat together, and they’d fallen in love, and they’d moved in together, but Clarke’s reluctance to even talk about bonding was still lingering in the back of her mind. The last thing she wanted was to take advantage of the stress Finn had caused. She didn’t even want it to seem that way on the surface, quickly thinking about what Anya and Abby would say if they mated after such a tense night. Abby wouldn’t be able to say much, as her situation with Raven was intense too, but Lexa wasn’t sure what Anya would think. She knew she couldn’t solely base her decisions on the opinions of others, but Anya and Abby’s respect meant something to her.

With five steps to go, she felt Clarke’s hands slip into her back pockets and give a squeeze, and the contact broke her from her thoughts. A moment later, she spiraled into a whole other internal argument though. If she made the decision not to mate with Clarke, based on her own fears, that Clarke didn’t actually want to bond with her, then wasn’t she just making that choice _for_ Clarke, instead of allowing her to make her own decisions? There was a certain amount of logic to that thought, but that didn’t stop the flow, as she thought, ‘Do have the restraint to deny Clarke, if she wants to mark me? Would I even have to willpower to stop her, if Clarke tried to bite me first?’ It didn’t take Lexa long to answer those questions though; the answer was no. If Clarke tried to make her mark, Lexa wouldn’t stop her; it was what she wanted anyway. She knew instantly that that wasn’t just Clarke’s heat hormones manipulating her either. Clarke was _the one_ , the partner that her whole life had been leading to, and if Clarke wanted to be her mate, she would gladly take Clarke’s mark, and mark Clarke in return. She knew it needed to be that way too; Clarke first, her second, but she worried that once she gave in to Clarke’s call and allowed herself to change, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from diving in first. She would need to be extra careful, making sure to keep her own instincts in check.

It had been a near thing to not mark Clarke during their last heat together, and with Clarke licking up the side of her neck, swiping over her scent gland, Lexa felt like it was going to be twice as hard this time. She stiffened, suddenly realizing they were alone, and Clarke had her pressed up against the front door. Her abs clenched, and her shoulders tensed as Clarke lapped over her skin, but the contact was sending her nerves into overdrive and she groaned when she felt herself start to change, despite her efforts not to shift. She reached out for Clarke then, desperate for anything to hold on to, her hands finding Clarke’s fabric covered hips. Her alpha was screaming at her to twist her hands into fists and rip Clarke’s leggings off, even as her own jeans became tighter and more uncomfortable. She pushed back against her urges though, forcing her alpha down as she slowly tipped her head back, allowing Clarke all the access to her scent that she could want.

Clarke’s lips sealing over her skin caused her to hiss, her alpha shoving back, but she managed to keep control even when Clarke let go and pulled back. Her fully formed shaft gave a lurch though, pushing another groan out of her throat. Clarke rushed back into her arms at the sound, closer than before, and it seemed Clarke had enough reason left in her to finally figure out what was happening, when she blurted out, “I’m— I’m going into heat!”

Lexa nearly laughed at the disbelief in Clarke’s voice, but all she could manage was a grunted, “Huh, Uh-huh…” as she felt her pants tighten even more at Clarke’s proximity.

Her instincts rose again, urging her to pull Clarke closer still, but again she resisted, at least until she heard Clarke say, “Lexa, take me to bed…” She knew then that there were some urges she shouldn’t repress. Only a moment later, Clarke’s legs were wrapped around her hips, and she was rushing them towards their bedroom. She was amazed she didn’t stumble along the way, thoughts of what lie ahead swirling through her mind. She could feel how desperate she was getting, putting off the shift making her feel twice as needy then, but she wanted to make this about Clarke, and what Clarke wanted though. She thought maybe putting a little distance between them might help her maintain control, but it didn’t really work out that way. When she moved to put Clarke down on the bed, Clarke’s sex dragged roughly against her on the way down, and before she could take a single breath, she and Clarke were both struggling out of their clothes. Shirts and bras went fast, but Lexa felt herself swaying over to her instincts as Clarke pulled her underwear down. Her eyes shot up the ceiling as her length sprang free, the cool air making her shiver, but when wet, heat suddenly replaced that chill, Lexa gasped, every muscle in her body drawing tight.

It was like a shock wave discharged through her system when she felt the walls of Clarke’s throat constrict and drag over the head of her throbbing shaft. It was too much for her to bear, her length lighting up like a flare streaking across the sky, pressure surging out of her before she could stop it. Clarke continued to massage the tip too, swallowing over and over, drinking down her release with vigor. Clarke finished her with that same vigor too, bobbing back and forth to draw out that last squirt. When the chill returned her to now soaked skin, Lexa’s head fell forward again. She had nowhere to look but right at Clarke though, and the still hungry look in Clarke’s eyes, caused her to twitch and throb all over again. She took a chance and glanced down at herself then, instantly realizing her brief orgasm had done nothing to soften her shaft. In fact, it was possible she was even harder than she had been before. The vein that ran along the side stood out, thumping and pulsing with every heartbeat, and the tip was an angry red color, the skin so flushed that it almost looked purple. She would need to come again, and soon.

Spotting Clarke leaning back in towards her shaft, Lexa slipped her hand into her hair, halting her advance with a gentle tilt of her head. It seemed Clarke wasn’t pleased with being denied, a grumpy whine slipping form her lips, but Lexa would not be swayed. Her needs needed to wait; she couldn’t just let Clarke service her all night, no matter how good it had felt to come down Clarke’s throat. This was supposed to be about Clarke anyway, and Lexa knew the best way to do that was to use her own mouth. Thinking about dipping her tongue inside Clarke and tasting the source of that sweet smell filling her nose was beyond enticing; it was maddening. She loved the way Clarke tasted on a regular day, but with Clarke’s hormones surging with heat, Lexa was downright starving for a taste of her.

Pushing Clarke back onto the bed was easier than she thought it would be, but she figured her eager smirk was more than enough motivation for Clarke to willingly lie back. Lexa barely heard the content little sigh Clarke released as she sank to her knees, readying herself to worship Clarke’s sex. Clarke was already swollen and wet too; wet enough take anything Lexa decided to give her, but Lexa wasn’t about to rush, knowing that a little anticipation went a long way with Clarke too. It didn’t seem like Clarke was in much a mood to wait though, as she instantly squirmed against the bed and whined, “Please, Lex… I— Need—”

All Lexa really heard was the breathy, “Please…” before she was ducking forward though, slurping and lapping and sucking, simply too overwhelmed to focus on one place for too long. Clarke’s smell was sweet, but at her core, she was all musk and brine, only a hint of that sweetness remaining. It was perfect though, rich and savory; a full sort of flavor that always left Lexa wanting more. Clarke certainly didn’t disappoint in that department, gushing and dripping with every press of Lexa’s lips or slip of her tongue. A minute or two later, when she pulled away, she left Clarke’s sex absolutely dripping. She wanted to make Clarke to feel good, but she knew that no matter how many times she made Clarke come with her mouth, Clarke wouldn’t be satisfied until they came together. Honestly, Lexa couldn’t think of anything she wanted more either. She slid up Clarke’s body then, placing kisses and nips wherever she cared to along the way. Her length brushed against the damp edge of the bed by accident though, and she had to bite her cheek to keep her hips from twitching forward into the contact. She was so sensitive, it was probably going to a trial to get inside Clarke before she came again, but eventually, she managed to settle in on top of Clarke, hoping to stifle the ache in her shaft with the heat of Clarke’s skin. The pressure made her groan though, leaving her shaft throbbing even harder; her nerves longing for movement. All she could was gasp then, as Clarke moved them, quickly rolling them over so she was on top of Lexa, straddling her hips. Seeing that hopeful look in Clarke’s eyes brought Lexa down though, and she beamed as she said the only thing she could say, “c-clarke, I want… want you, however you want… just you, forever.”

Allowing Clarke to take her shaft was actually a bit of a blur, her instincts raging inside her, cursing her for allowing herself to be topped by an omega. Clarke was special though, and Lexa needed Clarke to know that. So, she yelled back when her alpha urged her to thrust, scoffed when her alpha begged her to surge forward and take what was hers. She clenched her teeth and stifled each and every one of her alpha’s growls and protests, only letting little grunts and hisses to escape instead. She was determined; she would be Clarke’s, first, and then Clarke would be hers, if that was even what Clarke wanted. It certainly wasn’t the best-case scenario, but if Clarke wanted to mark her, even though she wasn’t ready to be marked herself, Lexa would find a way to live with that. Their bond one-sided or not; she’d have Clarke in any way she could get her.

The sensation of Clarke’s nails digging into her shoulders pulled Lexa back from the brink of an all-out war with her instincts, just in time for Clarke to fall forward on top of her, Clarke instantly burying her face in the side of her neck. Lexa instantly knew what she was after and finally allowed herself to thrust upwards, but it was only to give Clarke better access to her scent. Clarke hesitated then, lips latched onto her skin, but Lexa knew she what she was waiting for then too. She swallowed quickly, trying to ease the sudden dryness in her throat, but still all Lexa could get out was, “T-take what’s yours, love… I’m yours…” It was pure pleasure then, when Clarke’s teeth finally burrowed into her skin. Lexa finally sank all the way inside Clarke too, and she had to admit, it was a little shocking to realize they were tied together. She hadn’t even noticed that her knot had popped, but she guessed fighting her instincts had been more mentally consuming than she thought. Not that she minded, especially when Clarke’s walls drew down tight around her, and then rolled over her shaft as Clarke’s release took her, compelling Lexa to come as well. She didn’t resist, not even for a second; Lexa loved the feeling of coming inside Clarke too much to think about holding back.

It took a long time but eventually, her release tapered off, and Clarke’s seemed to be waning as well, but Lexa was too filled with love to be disappointed. Her neck ached and throbbed, but Clarke’s lips and tongue were already soothing her broken flesh. Clarke whimpered and cooed into her shoulder anytime an aftershock made her shiver and shake, but the interruption was always short lived, Clarke’s lips returning to her neck only moments later. On one particularly strong quiver, Lexa felt Clarke’s hand grasp the other side of her neck, and she sighed as Clarke put pressure on the scar leftover from her bond with Costia. The reminder didn’t make Lexa feel sad though; this was what Costia would have wanted for her, to find love again and to make it hers. Even if Clarke wasn’t quite hers yet, Lexa still could hope that’s where they were heading, especially when Clarke finally whispered against her ear, “I— I love you, Lexa.”

“I love you too, Clarke… more than you know,” Lexa replied easily, only to realize that Clarke could probably feel that love herself. Even with only a half a bond, some of Clarke’s emotions were already melting into her too. Anticipation and desperation were among them, but love and devotion were mixed in as well. The last thing Lexa wanted was to misread things though, so she quickly asked, “Can I… Will you be my mate, Clarke?”

Clarke’s husky laugh was like music to her ears then, particularly when she heard Clarke respond, “Well, I thought that marking you would be permission enough, but if you need me to say it… Lexa… I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.”

Feeling the love surge through her then, Lexa quickly, but carefully, rolled them over again, managing to do so with only a single tug at Clarke entrance. The shift made Clarke clench and groan anyway, but when Lexa finally settled over her, all Lexa heard was a pleased sigh. She enjoyed being back on top too, her alpha preening with pride now that Clarke had agreed to be her mate. There was no more grumbling and growling, no more urging for Lexa to get the show on the road. Her alpha seemed content to let Lexa do this right. She propped herself up over Clarke with one hand then, immediately trailing her other down Clarke’s side. If the shivers coming from inside Clarke were anything to go by, Lexa wouldn’t have to do much to get Clarke right back to her peak again, and while she still didn’t want to rush, getting the green light from Clarke had her pushing her hand down further and further. She sighed when her fingertips found Clarke’s slick wet heat, just waiting for her touch.

Clarke’s clit was hard and throbbing, and Lexa could feel it already swelling even more, and with just one swipe of her fingers. Clarke clenched around her again too, and Lexa took that as the invitation it was, slowly beginning to roll her hips, purely so that her knot would push and pull at Clarke’s entrance. She kept her movements as gentle as she could; that is, until Clarke started to rock up into her hips, whining out some of the dirtiest things Lexa had ever heard her say. “That’s it, Lex… Make me… make me take it, make me yours…” was first; the words pulling Lexa forward, forcing their chests against each other, their sweaty skin instantly molding together. Then, Clarke said the thing that really sealed the deal, “Please, baby… Claim me, c-claim me, _claim me_ …” The chanted cadence fell in sync with the rolling of her hips, and with Clarke begging like that, Lexa couldn’t deny herself any longer. She quickly slipped her face into the space Clarke’s craning neck was creating, and then latched onto to Clarke’s skin like her life depended on it.

In truth, Lexa felt like her life did depend on Clarke. So much had changed since meeting Clarke, and all of it was for the better. She had everything she wanted; a job she loved, a home that was hard to leave, and a love that filled her bursting; well, she had almost everything she wanted. With one last circle of her fingertips, and one final roll of her hips, Lexa finally took what she needed. As Clarke’s life filled her every nerve, Lexa barely even noticed how hard she came. The way Clarke’s love rushed inside her blocked out everything else; every touch, every smell, every sound. It was like all the good things that had ever happened to her hit her all at once. She was loved; totally, unconditionally, irrevocably, _loved_. It was so overwhelming that Lexa wasn’t sure how long she laid there on top of Clarke, filling her love over and over again. She was utterly wasted by the time she was finished coming though, completely unable to move. It wasn’t long before she felt Clarke’s ragged breathing even out however; the slow steady inhales indicating her mate had fallen asleep, and Lexa was too spent not to follow.

Of course, when she woke up, there was an absolute mess between her knees and Clarke was swatting her shoulder trying to get her to move. She muttered sleepily, “S-sorry, sorry…” as she finally pushed herself up off of Clarke, only to roll herself into some other dampness further down the bed. She shuddered when the cold, wet sheets stuck to her lower back, and she quickly rolled again, but this time she landed herself right in the floor. It was an even ruder awakening then, when her hip rubbed the wrong way on the rug, the nap dragging against her sweaty skin like sandpaper. Hearing Clarke laughing at her was literally adding insult to injury too, but she couldn’t be mad; she’d done it to herself after all, so she simply hung her head as she scrambled to her feet.

When she looked up again, Clarke was sitting up, her back resting against the headboard of their bed. She looked thoroughly disheveled, hair sticking out all angles, skin still flushed and shiny. She looked thoroughly and completely fucked, and it was hot; Lexa wasn’t going to deny that, but there was a thoughtfulness that seemed to be clouding Clarke’s eyes. It was look that clearly told Lexa something was wrong. She followed Clarke’s hazy eye line then, only to realize that whatever stress or adrenaline or hormones that had caused Clarke to go into premature heat must be passing. As she watched herself shrink, Lexa tried not to miss the reassuring girth of her shaft, but when she spotted movement out of the corner of her eye, she couldn’t think about that anymore. Not when Clarke’s hand had moved to her own neck, her fingertips tracing lightly over the mark Lexa had left there. She grinned as a soft smile spread over Clarke’s face, and she felt Clarke’s love surging inside her heart all over again. It was warm and fierce and filled with hope, and it made Lexa feel that way too. It drew her to Clarke like a moth to a flame, her body moving before she even told it to, crossing quickly to join Clarke on the bed.

Their skin was still sticky, causing them to move awkwardly against each other, and Lexa’s knee was resting right on the edge of the big wet spot in the middle of the bed too, but she couldn’t care less; Clarke was in her arms and no amount of discomfort would make her move. That is, until Clarke suggested, “Wanna wash my back?” The opportunity to keep touching Clarke, but also get clean at the same time was too tempting an offer to pass up. Besides, if they happened to get sweaty and sticky again in the shower, at least they’d be in a good position to get cleaned up again too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is all Octavia and Anya. Although, again, it'll be a few days at least before I have that one proofed for posting... As of now it's about 13,000 words, so... please be patient... thanks!


	39. The Next Move

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... do you remember how I said this chapter was ~13k words? Well, after proofing, its ~15k now... Hope you enjoy!

It had been about six weeks since the train accident, and the missed all-call that followed, but Cara Byrne was still burning Anya about it. Apparently, it had only taken her a week to decide that Anya wasn’t responsible enough to be showing Tris the ropes and had assigned her to another guard to finish her training. It was only another week after that, that Anya noticed a decrease in hours. When she asked her boss about it, Byrne was beyond short with her, claiming it was ‘budget cuts,’ in a tone that didn’t leave room for arguments. Not that Anya didn’t want to argue, but she also knew that wouldn’t get her anywhere, at least without her union representative with her. It was really a shame she couldn’t live off of what Echo was offering her to be a trainer at Skai’s. It was a generous offer, from a monetary perspective anyway, but the job didn’t come with benefits, and private health insurance was expensive. She had some coverage through Veteran’s Affairs, but she had learned the hard way not to depend on them to cover her medical bills. One broken nose, and one trip to the emergency room to set it, had cost her nearly three months’ worth of rent.

So, most days she just gritted her teeth and went on, knowing that if something didn’t change soon, it wouldn’t matter if Echo’s offer wasn’t enough. She’d have to take it just to keep paying her monthly bills, much less any medical bills that came up. The decrease in hours at the hospital had already put a dent in her savings, and to make things worse, her car’s radiator had decided to blow up on the way home one night. Of course, the guys at Raven’s shop had towed and fixed it, but Anya had insisted on paying for the new parts that her car needed. She wouldn’t take charity, even if it meant she had to dip into her savings over it. Borrowing money from a friend was the easiest way she knew of to complicate a friendship. It usually ended in hurt feelings and resentment. She couldn’t have that kind of relationship with Octavia’s best friend; that wouldn’t end well for any of them.

 Work wasn’t totally miserable though. She got to see Tris almost every day anyway; she made sure of it. They’d become sort of fast friends, their mirrored backgrounds and their general dislike of their boss bonding them together almost immediately, and despite Byrne separating them, Anya spent at least one of her breaks during the day checking in on Tris. They developed a sort of regular lunch date thing with Abby and her knew protégé, Harper McIntyre, too. Well, Harper was a nurse for now, but it seemed that Abby had helped her with her entrance exams and recommendation letters to start Med school in the fall. That was still months away, but every time Anya saw Harper, she had some new factoid or trivia about the school she was going to be attending or her internship options, both in and out of the city. Anya actually enjoyed Harper’s enthusiasm though, glad to see that life seemed to be working out for someone.

Harper’s constant chattering was a nice break too, because all Abby talked about those days was whether Raven was pregnant or not. They were still a week away from their doctor’s appointment to find out, and Abby was obsessing over it. Not that Anya blamed her, but all the baby-talk was a little much for her. She tried to be patient for her friend though, knowing that Abby couldn’t really control her control-freak nature. It was something that she appreciated about Abby actually; her need for organization. It was the only reason why Anya had managed to make it family dinner eight weeks in a row. Abby was a bit obsessive about that too, but again Anya didn’t mind, especially because Abby had also been the one to suggest they invite her dad to join them for dinner. With his erratic schedule, he’d only managed to make it twice, but both dinners had gone exceptionally well. Her dad’s awkward, and somewhat morbid, sense of humor made him an instant hit with both Raven and Clarke. His high stress job had endeared him to Abby too, and they had their age in common, so it was good that they could talk about the good old days together while all the kids in the room chatted about things younger people talked about. Half the time, Anya fell in with the older crowd, especially when club drama got involved, but she couldn’t help the way she hung on every word when Octavia talked about how her classes were going. She was so proud every time Octavia mentioned the ‘A’ she had gotten on an Anatomy and Physiology II test. It helped that she knew she’d had a hand in the ‘A.’ She’d certainly spent enough time letting Octavia study her own body; for practical experience, of course.

Introducing Octavia to Gustus for the first time, was intense, to say the least. Anya had warned Octavia about how tall he was beforehand, but when she saw the nervous look in Octavia’s eyes, she guessed that she hadn’t made a big enough deal about it. Her dad was six-foot six without shoes on, and Octavia’s five-feet and change made her look like a scared little kid when they shook hands. Gustus was used to that kind of reaction though, easily saying, “Don’t worry, Octavia. I may be a giant, but I only eat babies, so you’re safe.” Octavia had sputtered and stepped back, obviously not knowing how to respond, but when Gustus’ booming laugh filled the air, Anya saw her relax a little. It seemed Octavia finally realized Gustus had been trying to make a joke. Anya had laughed too, but she cut herself off when Octavia shot her glare, one that told her she was in trouble. The rest of evening was pretty mundane by comparison, good food and better company, but when they got home, Octavia ruined, not one, but two orgasms for her that night. It wasn’t their usual game, but when Octavia had pushed her back onto the bed and told her not to move, Anya had been more than happy to go along with whatever Octavia wanted, thinking she was going to get a treat. Too bad, she got tricked instead.

The following week, when Abby suggested Octavia invite Bellamy for dinner, Anya was worried how their second meeting would go. Thankfully, things went well there too. He seemed to actually enjoy eating with them, chatting easily about work with Raven, and telling stories about Octavia as a little kid; telling them about the time Octavia thought the cupboard under the stairs was a good place to hide from their foster parents, or when Octavia had gotten caught sneaking back into the house late one night after a party. Octavia didn’t seem to enjoy those moments as much as Anya did, but she simply hugged Octavia tighter when she pouted about it, knowing that Octavia wasn’t really upset. Bellamy seemed to get along with Lexa and Clarke and Abby too, earning him an open invite to family dinner anytime he could make it. So far, he’d only attended the one, but Anya thought she remembered Octavia saying something about him possibly bringing the woman he was seeing next time. As far as Anya knew, Octavia had never met the woman, even though apparently Bellamy had been dating her longer than she and Octavia had been together. Anya thought she already knew who it was; her interaction with Bellamy and Echo seeming more intimate the more she thought about it. She didn’t say anything to Octavia about it though, knowing that if Bellamy and Echo were keeping things to themselves, there was a reason.

Despite a couple of ruined orgasms, and a couple of awkward family conversations, things with Octavia were good, like beyond good. They’d established little routines; a morning schedule in the bathroom, and similar routine in the evening, and a few others in between. Dinners out and movies in became the norm. Other days, they took time to train at the gym together after work, only go back to Anya’s apartment and cuddle on the couch afterwards. Having a schedule was great and getting to share it with Octavia was even better, but truly, the best hours they spent together were alone and in bed together. Sometimes, they’d just lay there and talk, but most nights, their bedtime routine seemed more like an experiment; both pushing limits, just to see how far they could go together, how long they could last together. Usually, Anya played the dominant alpha, all unaffected and aloof, giving commands and demanding obedience with her nails or her teeth. There were just as many nights where Anya could tell Octavia wanted a more tender touch. Those nights, Anya let her softer sides show through, kissing Octavia with passionate lips, and stroking Octavia’s hair, and whispering in her ear; telling her how beautiful she was when she was about to come.

In fact, everything about Octavia was beautiful, and that became more apparent to Anya with every day they spent together. She was kind and fierce, loyal and playful, but most of all, Anya loved her enthusiasm for life. Even with the stress of her finals coming up, Octavia was nice to be around; that is, when Anya actually got to see her. There were a couple of nights where Octavia hadn’t come over to her place, too busy studying to leave her own couch. Anya had offered to bring her food and keep her company, but Octavia had claimed that she ‘couldn’t afford to get distracted.’ Those were some of the longest, loneliest nights of Anya’s life. Before Octavia, Anya would have never believed that she would become a codependent sleeper, but without Octavia cuddled up against her, Anya found herself staring at the dark ceiling more than once, sleep eluding her until the wee hours of the morning. She knew the solution for that; ask Octavia to move in with her. She was procrastinating about it though, because while they were getting comfortable in her one-bedroom apartment, she knew they could get a lot more comfortable if she just moved into Octavia’s place instead. Raven had moved out almost two months before, and Clarke was almost out too, leaving Octavia with a big, empty apartment all to herself. If Anya moved in there, they could take Raven’s old room, because it was the biggest of the three, and then the extra bedrooms would give them a place for a home gym or maybe a playroom, instead of just a play-closet. They could even get a roommate if they needed help with the rent. Not that Anya looked forward to having a third wheel hanging around during their couch cuddle time, much less having someone in the next room during their bedroom activities; especially because those activities weren’t always restricted to the bedroom.

The thing was, Anya couldn’t figure out how to ask Octavia about it, without sounding like she was inviting herself to move in with Octavia. She didn’t want to put any pressure on Octavia about it, kind of wanting Octavia to come up with the idea on her own. Then, one night, Octavia casually mentioned that she was thinking about looking for a one-bedroom for herself for the first of the year, and Anya figured it didn’t really matter how it sounded anymore; she wasn’t going to wait a year or more before they could move in together. Even though she felt tense, she tried to keep herself level-headed, and simply said, “Well, have you thought about just staying on where you are? I bet the rent can’t be that much.” Anya found Octavia’s dry, sarcastic chuckle a little disturbing, until Octavia told her how much the rent was, but then she understood why. To Octavia, it probably seemed like a ridiculous amount of money to put up by herself, but honestly, Anya’s rent wasn’t much cheaper and for far less space. True, Octavia’s apartment was in an older building, in an older neighborhood. It didn’t have a parking garage attached to it, and the kitchen appliances certainly weren’t new, by any stretch of the word, but from what Anya had seen, with a little elbow grease and some organization, they could make a nice home out of Octavia’s ‘bachelor pad.’ The more she thought about it, the more sense it made, until finally she just said, “Well, what would you think about me moving in? Maybe Raven’s old room? The rent’s only about five-hundred more than my place, so…”

That was as far as she got before Octavia’s expression pulled her up short. The thin-lipped grimace and the furrow in her brow told Anya that Octavia didn’t like that idea. She didn’t know what she didn’t like about it, so she just clammed up, almost wishing she could take the words back. She didn’t have to wait long, before Octavia grumbled, “Oh, you wanna move into Raven’s old room, huh? That’s nice… We can be roommates.”

Sighing, Anya took a step forward, instantly regretting the fact that they had to have this conversation in a crowded supermarket. Not that she’d had much choice; she might not have gotten another chance to talk to Octavia about it before she made plans for herself, but with people shopping all around, it was kind of hard to have a serious conversation, at least without everyone hearing it. Octavia shuffled further away from her as she advanced though, so Anya blurted out, “That’s not what I meant, and You Know It.” Octavia whirled around on her toes, looking incredulous, but Anya used the pause to catch up a little bit, quickly wrapping Octavia up in her arms, right there in the middle of the aisle. When Octavia didn’t fight her embrace, Anya leaned down a little and quietly added, “I meant we could share Raven’s room. It’s bigger than yours. Then, we could turn yours into a home gym. Imagine being able to work out and not even have leave the house…”

It was a little too public to bring up the play room option, but it seemed that the notion of a home gym brought a little sparkle to Octavia’s eyes anyway, and Anya smiled as she hastily replied, “Can we get one of those systems… you know, the tension-resistance ones that you always see on TV?”

Laughing at Octavia’s quick flip, petulant to excited at the drop of a hat, Anya merely nodded her head as she replied, “Of course, babe. We’ll get whichever one you want. As long as I get to move in with you, I’ll be happy.” A kiss seemed to seal the deal, Octavia pressing their lips together in a desperate sort of way, but when a throat cleared nearby, Anya pulled back. Glancing up over the top of Octavia’s head, Anya found an older couple watching them from only a few feet away. The smile on the one man’s face told her instantly that they weren’t trying to be rude; they just wanted to get by. Laughing again, Anya quickly shuffled Octavia towards the shelves, allowing them to pass. She couldn’t help but smile herself when she heard the other man say, “Congratulations,” as they moved on down the aisle.

That night, they actually stayed over at Octavia’s apartment too. Over the course of the evening, Anya realized there were definitely reasons why they’d never stayed at Octavia’s before. First, there was the mess that was Octavia’s bedroom. Anya dreaded even thinking about how long it would take them to catch up on all Octavia’s dirty laundry. Then, there was Octavia’s mattress, a little too small for both of them, and lumpy besides, but when they finally settled in, Anya realized it was kind of comfortable; if they spooned, curled up in a ball together in the middle of the bed. It was a little like a cocoon. She still woke up stiff, groaning as she stretched, only for her feet to fall over the end of the bed. Grumbling against Octavia’s back, Anya said, “We’re definitely not keeping this mattress.”

Octavia grumbled too, shifting and squirming until they were facing each other. Anya was a little suspicious of the mischievous look in Octavia’s eyes, but she smiled when Octavia said, “Ok, but I want to split the rent fifty-fifty. I won’t have you paying more than me.”

If there was any logical connection between those two things Anya couldn’t find it, but she figured it didn’t really to need it make sense. Splitting the rent evenly was obviously important to Octavia, and with her already tense finances, the decrease in rent would help her out too, so Anya agreed easily, saying, “That sounds fair to me. We’re partners after all, wouldn’t be right for me to pay more than you.”

It was obvious Octavia was expecting a little push back, staring at Anya with her mouth hanging open for a second before finally saying, “Oh… Ok then…” There was still a little uncertainty in Octavia’s eyes though, despite her accepting tone, but before Anya could ask her what was wrong, Octavia admitted, “I kinda always thought I’d have sex in this bed at least once before I got rid of it though...”

Shaking her head, Anya laughed, because of course Octavia was thinking about sex. It seemed like Octavia enjoyed morning sex more than at night, but Anya could really blame her either. Just having Octavia pressed against her was enough to turn Anya on, and when she felt Octavia’s thigh squeeze around her hip, a shiver crept down her spine. Any more serious discussion went out the window then, when Octavia used her grip around Anya’s hip to roll them so Anya was on her back. She went willingly too, knowing she was helpless to resist when the heat of Octavia’s body settled over top of her. It was sweet and slow, and fast and heated all at once; the way Octavia’s honeyed scent overwhelmed her, the way Octavia’s slick skin slid against her own. When they finally crashed over the edge together, all Anya could think about was getting to do this every day, in their bed, in their room, in their apartment; together, every night, every morning, always.

 

~~~

 

Despite the exciting prospect of Anya moving in with her, Octavia had a terrible day the next day. She was late to her first class, which was really her own fault. It didn’t help that Anya looked so deliciously fuckable first thing in the morning, all sleep mussed hair and hooded eyes. Riding Anya to orgasm had been great as always, slow and fast and everywhere in between, but when she walked into Professor Pike’s ten am class at ten-o-five, she quickly realized it was not the day to be late. He wasn’t the nicest of teachers to start with, but his mood seemed especially cruel that day. He called her out the second she opened the door, saying, “Oh, glad you could join us, Miss Blake. You just let me know when you’re ready and then I’ll continue.” He proceeded to watch her take her seat and get out her laptop, a vile smirk on his face the whole time. Everyone else in the class was watching her too, but at least most of her classmates had the decency to look like they felt embarrassed for her instead of outright laughing at her.

It wasn’t like she’d been late to his class before either; not to say she hadn’t been late for a few of her other classes, but not this one. It didn’t make sense that he would be such a jerk about it, especially for a first offense, but she figured maybe he’d had a bad morning or a bad night the night before and tried to not let him get her down. The class was actually one of her favorites too, Pike’s attitude notwithstanding. Geoscience, botany in particular, was a fascinating subject. There were carnivorous plants and healing herbs and dead roses that come back to life in water. She even found how grass grows interesting; a little water, a little sunlight, a little time and then, boom, _grass_. She’d always enjoyed being outside but being out in nature had become her refuge when Bellamy had first left to join the Army. She knew why he’d done it, to give himself, and by extension Octavia herself, more options later on, but the random foster homes she got placed in after that didn’t feel right, not one of them. The parents were always asking her if she was ok, or if she wanted to talk about anything, but honestly, Octavia just wanted to be left alone. If she couldn’t be with her brother, she didn’t really feel like talking to anyone else anyway. The woods, or a public park, or even just the back yard of whatever house she was staying in at the time, gave her a place where she could simply exist, without any expectations of how she should feel or who she should be. Being outside felt liberating in a way she’d never experienced before, at least at the ripe old age of twelve, and anytime she’d felt overwhelmed, the first place she went was outside, anywhere where she could get fresh air in her lungs and grass under her feet.

It wasn’t until her Earth Science class her sophomore year of high school that she really developed any kind of interest in learning about the plants she saw everyday though. When she’d done well on the first test, her teacher had noticed and given her a book on local flora as a reward. It was an old ratty paperback, but she had treated it like a Guttenberg, keeping it sealed up in a plastic bag so her sweaty gym clothes wouldn’t contaminate it. She’d read it, of course; cover to cover, twice, but when she felt like she’d absorbed as much of it as she could, she tried to return it. Her teacher had merely shaken his head and said, “No, you keep it… Something to remember me by…” The sad part was, when Octavia closed her eyes, she could see his face so clearly; those dark-blue eyes and his soft, toothy grin. If someone held a gun to her head and asked her what his name was though, she was sure, even then, she wouldn’t be able remember.

When Pike’s class was finally over, Octavia realized she hadn’t done much in the way of actually taking notes, but instead of lingering and trying to get someone else’s to copy, she skedaddled right out of there anyway, not wanting to risk getting cornered by Pike. She had a lunch date with Anya to look forward to anyway, and just the thought of it, raised her spirits a little bit. Usually, Anya ate with Abby and her friends at work, but after their big decisions the night before, they had both agreed that a little celebration was in order. They weren’t meeting anywhere fancy, just the diner down the block from the hospital, but it felt like everything Octavia needed at the moment.

As she made her way through the parking lot, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She hustled the rest of the way to the car, waiting to check the message until she was settled into the driver’s seat. She didn’t want the hassle of trying to wrestle her phone with her gloves still on, and she certainly wasn’t going to take them off until she was out of the day’s cold wind either. The anticipation pushed her along, thinking maybe it was good news from Raven or some funny meme from Clarke, but her heart dropped when she finally opened the message, sighing as she read, ‘Sorry, I have to cancel lunch. Have to have a meeting with Byrne and my union rep instead… She cut me back to 26 hours next week!’

Anya had been struggling at work; Octavia knew that much. Supposed budget cutbacks, and her boss being a general pain in the ass, made Anya’s days pretty rough, but from what Anya had told her, working less than twenty-eight hours a week was a big deal, and not just because of the loss in pay. The way she understood it, the only reason Anya was still at CCMC was for the health insurance, and she had to work a minimum of twenty-eight hours a week to continue to qualify for it. Octavia didn’t know if a meeting with her boss and her union rep would help, but she hoped they could work something out. If they didn’t, Octavia wasn’t sure what that would mean for their apartment plans, but it surely wouldn’t be good. Still, Octavia couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that she wouldn’t get to have lunch Anya because of the impromptu meeting. She tried to sound positive when she replied to Anya’s message though, knowing that the last thing Anya needed was her being needy, so eventually she typed in, ‘Ok. Good luck, babe. I love you.’ She hesitated on sending it, thinking maybe Anya would appreciate having something to look forward to later on, so she quickly added, ‘I’ll still see you at home tonight, right? We can celebrate in my bed again if you want…’ before she finally sent it.

After waiting a couple minutes for a response, Octavia figured Anya had already gone into her ‘meeting,’ so she decided to just get on with the rest of her day. Without having someone else to eat with, she didn’t much feel like going to the diner, but she was still hungry. She had training with Echo later too, so eating closer to Skai’s was probably a good idea. Instead of finding some healthy salad or a protein shake, she swung through a drive-thru and picked up something she probably shouldn’t be eating on her way to the gym. She couldn’t help herself though; she was in the mood for french fries, and sometimes the only way to make that craving go away was to eat some. She got a grilled chicken sandwich to go with them, thinking that was sort of healthy, but still she felt a little guilty. Nevertheless, that guilt didn’t stop her from stuffing her face all the way to Skai’s. By the time she pulled into the parking lot, she felt full as could be, but she figured she’d simply work extra hard to make up for the wasted calories.

It seemed like her bad day wasn’t quite done though, when she walked through the front door of the gym, only to find the one person she least expected to see, Ontari Ecke. Ontari seemed perfectly at ease too, chatting causally with Echo, leaning up against the front desk, totally unaware that Octavia had just walked in. That was about to change though, when Octavia blurted out, “What the fuck are you doing here?” She didn’t really mean for her tone to sound quite so accusatory, but when Ontari whirled around her, Octavia realized maybe she shouldn’t have actually cursed at her.

The look on Ontari’s face was enough to tell Octavia she had scared her too, but then Ontari sputtered and said, “I— N-nothing… I’m sorry… I’ll just— I’ll just go.” Octavia felt even more guilty hearing how broken Ontari’s voice sounded. Obviously, there was more going on than just a casual conversation and Octavia had just ‘bull-in-a-china-shopped’ her way right into the middle of it.

Echo was shooting her a totally different look though; a little bit shocked but also wholly disappointed at the same time. She could tell Echo was about to lay into her for rude she had just been, and while she might deserve it, Octavia simply held up a hand to Echo and apologized without having to be prompted, saying, “No… no, please. I’m sorry, Ontari. I— I’m just surprised to see you here is all. You stay… I was heading for the locker rooms anyway.”

Before Octavia could get more than a step away, Echo started to call her back, saying, “I think you should both stay… Ontari has an interesting proposition and you should hear it too, Octavia.”

Knowing better than to argue with the stern tone in Echo’s voice, Octavia immediately turned back to the two of them, only to find Echo’s hand resting reassuringly on Ontari’s shoulder. It felt strange, seeing her mentor comforting her one-time enemy, but she shook those feelings away, trying to concentrate when Ontari spoke again, “I was hoping… I mean, I want to join Skai’s the Limit. Apparently, now that I’m a loser, I’m not worth my mother’s time anymore, but I’d still like to train somewhere.”

“Hey, you’re not a loser… you lost a fight. There’s a difference,” Octavia heard Echo say softly then, probably meant only for Ontari, but Octavia was glad she caught it, because she’d been taught the same thing. ‘Get smacked down, get back up,’ had been her motto from that first day of training with Indra all those years before. She’d spent more time on her back than she did standing that day, but every time Indra knocked her down, she got up, no matter how sore she was, no matter how tired she was, because she knew she had to do it. She knew from that first day, that if she wanted to be a fighter, she was going to have to fight for it.

Maybe that was why it had been so easy for Octavia to see Ontari as an enemy in the first place. Ontari had literally been born into this life, probably starting to learn how to fight before she could talk. Of course, that made sense; her mother was Nia Ecke, the most revered coach on the pro-circuit. Nia also had an impressive, undefeated record of her own from when she had been a fighter before she’d retired to become a coach too. That was about as much as Octavia knew about her, but she could tell from the one time she’d seen her, that Nia was a hard woman. Granted, the only time Octavia had seen her was ringside at her fight with Ontari, so there was that, but still, Octavia could remember the cold detached way Nia had looked at Ontari afterwards, like she was thinking about just cutting her losses and leaving Ontari where she lay defeated on the mat. Ontari had a similar look about her in that moment too, like she still felt defeated, beaten and left for dead. Octavia thought that was a shame that this once proud woman, a fighter just like her, could be so crushed over one loss. She couldn’t help but chime in then, tagging along on Echo’s words as best she could as she said, “Only quitters are losers, and you’re not here to quit, right?”

Glassy, golden eyes snapped up to meet her own then, and Octavia instantly recognized the fire and determination lying behind them. There wasn’t a doubt in Octavia’s mind when Ontari replied, “No… I’m not a quitter. I just want a second chance. I want to make something good come out of all this.”

Smiling, Octavia stepped over to Ontari and put her hand out in front of her as she said, “Well then, welcome to the team… I, uh, I’ll be suited up in twenty, if you wanna go a round or two today? I just ate a bunch of french fries, so I could use the work out.” Hearing Echo scoff didn’t even really register to Octavia, not when Ontari reached out to shake her hand, finally returning her smile, even if a little weakly. She excused herself to go change then, leaving Echo and Ontari still talking in the lobby, but as she made her way down the hallway towards the locker rooms, she couldn’t stop thinking that maybe the day wasn’t turning out to be so bad after all.

That is, until she finally got settled into the locker room and found a text waiting from Anya. ‘Call me ASAP,’ was all it said, but Octavia instantly knew something was wrong. She wasn’t quite sure how she knew, but the situation, combined with the short, blunt message made her feel on edge. She ducked back out into the hall, to see if she could spot Ontari, to tell her she would be a little longer than she had said, but unfortunately, the hallway was clear. She thought she’d heard Echo say Ontari could use locker room six, so Octavia decided to check there first, knocking before opening the door just a peek. She called out Ontari’s name too, hoping for some kind of response but when she didn’t hear anything, she cracked the door a little wider, just to be sure. She saw Ontari then, her mostly bare back to the door, and Octavia suddenly felt like she was seeing something she shouldn’t be. ‘No wonder she always wears full coverage compression gear when she fights,’ Octavia thought as she stared at the hard, twisted scars that ran along Ontari’s back, disappearing under the back of her bra only to reappear on the other side of the material. “Shit,” she breathed then, unable to hold back the sound when she noticed the scars wrapping around both of Ontari’s sides as well.

Obviously startled, Ontari whirled on her with a barked shout, simply, “Get Out!” but when their eyes met, Octavia could see the shame and fear Ontari felt. That anguish, mixed with the distressed shout, called out to Octavia, and before she could stop herself, she was pushing her into the room instead of out of it. There a sudden inexplicable need to offer comfort to the pained woman before her.

Ontari grumbled, clearly still uncomfortable, but when she didn’t outright protest, Octavia made her way over to the lockers and reached in to pull out a clean towel. She offered it to Ontari then, as she said, “A hot shower usually helps me relax. Take all the time you need too… I’ve got a phone call I need to make anyway.” She deliberately chose not to say anything about the scars, knowing that they really weren’t any of her business, but when Ontari’s eyes took on a little questioning glare, she simply added, “We’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other later… just, for now, remember you’re not alone.”

Visibly relaxing right in front of her, Ontari sputtered a little before she finally said, “Y-yeah, ok… I— I’ll come find you when I’m done.”

Nodding, Octavia smiled as she turned back to the door, calling out over her shoulder as she moved towards it, “Sounds good…” She didn’t linger when she got to the door, spilling out much like she’d done on the way in, only opening the door just enough to squeeze through before closing it again. She tried to push thoughts of Ontari’s scars out of her mind as she made her back to her locker room, knowing that it really was none of her business. Maybe, someday, Ontari would want to share, but for once, Octavia decided to simply put her curiosity aside. One way to do that was to distract herself, and what better way to do that than to call Anya. She pulled her phone out as she made her way down the hall, and just as she was pushing her locker room door closed, Anya picked up the call. Octavia was so amped up though, that she interrupted Anya mid- “Hel-lo,” blurting out, “What’s Wrong?”

Anya’s laughter through the phone sounded sort of foreign, distant and tinny, but then Anya’s voice came down the line clear as day, as she replied, “Haha… Nothing’s wrong… but I did just quit my job.”

That pause midsentence brought such a wave of relief over Octavia that she almost missed the second half of Anya’s statement, but then the words sank in and she almost choked on her own spit. It was a long moment of getting her shit together, before she finally managed to say, “What do you mean, ‘nothing’s wrong, you just quit your job?’ What about… what about our plans?”

Anya laughed again and Octavia almost wished they were in the same room, so she could scoff at Anya in person. She didn’t get a chance to tell Anya how frustrating she was being though, when Anya quickly said, “That’s just what I’m saying. I quit my job, but it’s ok.”

“Oh, yeah… and why’s that?” Octavia snarked back, unable to keep herself from getting more aggravated at Anya nonchalance.

At least Anya didn’t string her along forever, answering back quickly again, “Because, I also got a new job… working for someone you know.” For a second, Octavia thought maybe Anya was talking about Raven and the shop, but as far as she knew, Raven had just hired someone new for the shop. Anya working at the shop didn’t make sense either; she didn’t think Anya knew anything about repairing cars. Of course, Anya could be thinking about going back to bartending full time at Polaris, but that would put the two of them on opposite schedules. While that was doable, Octavia definitely didn’t think that was something to be excited about either. She racked her brain, trying to think of who else she knew who might have hired Anya, but she didn’t manage to figure it out, before Anya finally filled the silence she was making and said, “I’m gonna be taking Tristan’s place… permanently. I’ll get to make my own hours, and teach my own classes, and train with you whenever I want, and… get paid for it.”

It sounded perfect, the way Anya put it, but Octavia couldn’t stop the little nagging worries that cropped up. Before she knew it, she was babbling them at Anya too, saying, “But… what about your insurance? And, your friends? You didn’t punch Byrne, did you? Because if you didn’t, you can probably…”

Anya’s eventual laughter broke her from her tirade though, and Octavia laughed too, suddenly realizing how ridiculous she was being. Of course, Anya hadn’t punched Byrne; she was far too logical for that. The abrupt clarity helped Octavia understand the situation a little better; if Anya wasn’t worried, she didn’t need to be either. When Anya’s laughter finally tapered off, she got some welcome reassurance too, when Anya said, “I’ve thought about all that, babe. Sharing bills with you is part of why I _can_ quit. I did the math, and my cost of living is going to go way down when I move in with you. So, I can afford private insurance if I want it… And, I can still meet Tris and Abby and Harper for lunch sometimes. You could come too if you want. The point is, for now, it’s enough to live on, and with Echo’s plans for expansion, I feel really good about this. It’s gonna work out, I know it.”

That was news to Octavia; she didn’t know anything about any plans for expansion, but obviously Anya and Echo had been doing some wheeling and dealing behind her back. Not that she was upset about that. They were all adults and could have conversations with each other that they weren’t all privy to, but Octavia still felt like she’d been left out. Instead of getting into the gritty details with Anya over the phone though, she made a mental note to press Echo for information about it later, and simply said, “That sounds great, babe. I’m happy for you, for us.”

“Why don’t you sound happy about it?” Anya asked immediately, and Octavia shook her head as she tried to figure out how to tell Anya that she’d had a bad day and mostly just needed it to be over. Anya jumped in again before she got her thoughts in order though, uneasily adding, “I can come over there, so we can talk about this face to face… I don’t like not being able to see your face right now.”

Anya’s slightly nervous tone made Octavia shake her head even harder, because of course, Anya loved to assume the worst. She called out Anya’s name then, trying to get her attention, even as Anya started to mumble to herself on the other end of line. From the rustling sounds, Anya was obviously preparing to leave wherever she happened to be too, and Octavia actually had to say her name three times before Anya’s muttered rambling ended with a grunt. It sounded enough like a ‘Huh?’ that Octavia figured Anya was paying attention, so she said, “I am happy, babe, but I’ve also had a shitty day. I was late to class this morning…” Anya’s muttering started again, low and unobtrusive, but Octavia could swear Anya was cracking jokes, as she heard something like, ‘And, who’s fault is that?’ She barely let the intrusion slow her down though as she pressed on, “Someone canceled their lunch date with me too, so I gorged myself on french fries instead of eating the healthy salad I had planned, and now I feel kinda sick.” Anya didn’t interrupt her again, but Octavia knew there was probably some smart remark right on the tip of Anya’s tongue. She didn’t give Anya much of a chance to butt in though, as she quickly added, “And, then… to top it all off, I get to Skai’s and who do I find in the lobby, but Ontari, chatting it up with Echo like their old friends.”

The little gasp that came down the line then, was a satisfying sound, and Octavia smiled, knowing that she had managed to stun Anya a little bit. In true form, Anya didn’t miss more than a beat though, before she said, “Oh, shit… Ok, well, I’m still coming over there. Just, uh, try not to kill her before I get there. You’ll probably need help getting rid of the body…”

Octavia wished Anya could see her furious head shaking then, but because Anya couldn’t, she sighed as she said, “Trust me I thought about it, but it’s ok... She’s here to train, not actually fight. Evidently, her mom doesn’t want her training at Gona Kru anymore.”

A quiet, “Oh,” was all Anya said at that, and then, a long silence seemed to fill the distance between them. It wasn’t uncomfortable though; not necessarily anyway. Octavia knew Anya was processing and that was alright, but when the silence went on a little too long, Octavia finally said, “You can still come over here if you want. Ontari and I were gonna go a few rounds, but then… I’m all yours.” She could almost feel Anya’s smirk then, her choice of words obviously peeking Anya’s interest, but that had been the point. She wanted to steer Anya back towards their celebration plans, knowing Anya would probably need to work out some tension after the day she’d had too. If she was being honest, Octavia was looking forward to it. Letting go at the end of a shitty day was easiest when Anya took control, and all Octavia had to do was follow instructions. She could tell that Anya would be in rare form by the time they were finally alone together too, and truthfully, Octavia couldn’t wait.

 

~~~

 

Watching Octavia spar with Ontari wasn’t nearly as torturous as it had been to watch them compete against each other, really fight each other, but every time Ontari swept Octavia’s legs out from under her or pinned her to the mat, Anya held her breath until Octavia had the upper hand again. She just had to remember that it was training, only for practice, a game; a cat-versus-cat game maybe, but still a game. Through the first and part of the second round, they seemed so evenly matched that Anya briefly wondered how Octavia had managed to beat Ontari in the first place, but then she saw the little spikes of anger disrupting Ontari’s concentration. She heard the growls and snaps of teeth when Ontari tried to recover from a missed feint only to end up flat on her back. Ontari was tiring out quickly too, moving slower and slower as they went on. Eventually, it was Echo that called them to a stop, a full minute before the end of their third round, shouting out, “ _Em Pleni!_ I think that’s enough for today.” Anya followed Ontari with her eyes then, as Echo lead her out of the room, a hand on her shoulder, whispering in Ontari’s ear. It made her smile to see Ontari’s shoulders strengthen and her chin tip up, thinking maybe Echo’s reassuring beta influence might be just what the seething alpha inside Ontari needed to calm down.

Still watching the door after they’d left the room, Anya almost missed Octavia crowding in on her until it was too late, but when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, she snapped her head around. Sure enough, Octavia was creeping up on her with a devious little smirk of her face. Octavia’s ‘Surprise-Anya’ game had started as a joke, weeks before when Anya had poked fun at her for practically jumping into her lap as they watched a horror movie together. Octavia had taken offense; well, she had mocked offense, claiming that she thought she could _jump_ Anya anytime she wanted. After all, wasn’t that the reason why they were together anyway. Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, Anya had reluctantly agreed, because yes, part of why they were together was their chemistry, but she hadn’t let Octavia’s comment pass without protest either. That night, Anya made sure Octavia knew that that wasn’t the only reason why they were together; she made love to Octavia until she was certain that Octavia knew that there wasn’t a single thing Anya didn’t love about her.

After that, Octavia had made it a point to try to surprise Anya whenever she could though, either jumping onto her back, or into her arms. Not that Anya minded, she couldn’t care less what the confused people in the grocery store thought, or even the people in her building thought. She was enjoying the game just as much as Octavia was anyway. It was a challenge, keeping her guard up whenever Octavia might be around, but trying not to be obvious about it; all while trying not to let it make her rigid and unapproachable either. Most of the time, Anya was vigilant enough to catch Octavia before she got jumped, but the times Octavia had succeeded, it turned out that Anya liked that outcome too. Especially when it meant that Octavia was pressed against her, wrapped around her; the heat of Octavia’s core so close Anya could feel it through their clothes. Sometimes, Octavia would simply whisper something sweet into her ear and then make her way back down onto the ground. There had been a couple of times when Octavia had tried to tickle her instead, only for Anya to retaliate, both of them ending up in the floor gasping for air by the time they broke apart. Once, Octavia had even managed to get the drop on her in her own apartment, as she was coming out of the bathroom. They were breathless by the time they broke apart that time too, but not from laughter.

More movement snapped Anya’s mind back to the present, and she blinked, only to realize Octavia was still advancing on her, obviously not deterred from their game by the eye contact. Anya couldn’t help raising her eyebrows in challenge, taking a step back, and to the side, to counter Octavia’s advance. She smiled when she saw Octavia’s smirk falter and a slight crease creep across her forehead. “There’ll be no getting the jump on me today, baby girl. I’m a little too keyed up for that,” Anya stated matter-of-factly then, when Octavia’s smirk started to turn down into a frown instead. She found the little grimace endearing though, and far too hard to resist, so she opened her arms to Octavia anyway, bracing herself for the inevitable collusion of Octavia’s body against her own.

She didn’t have to wait long either, Octavia’s arms and legs wrapping around her not more than a few seconds later. She was so used to holding Octavia’s weight that she didn’t stagger even a little bit as she carried the cooing omega in her arms towards the locker rooms, knowing they wouldn’t get far beyond closing the door before Octavia was begging to be taken. That wasn’t quite what Anya wanted; not that she would deny Octavia, but she had plans for the rest of their evening that definitely didn’t involve quick, quiet orgasms stolen up against a wall or a closed door. She wanted to celebrate being with Octavia; big decisions meant big celebrations, and of all the ways they had been together, there was one that Anya had been saving. She had hoped the first time she be would inside Octavia, as in _all the way_ inside her, it would be because of Octavia’s heat, but with Octavia’s pro-circuit training came a steady supply of suppressants. She knew Octavia couldn’t afford to take at least a week off from training either, not when Echo was already working on getting her a fight lined up for the following summer. So, ultimately, Anya had decided that she was willing to wait to introduce Octavia to that kind of pleasure. She figured a celebration was a celebration though, and she couldn’t think of anything better than finally making Octavia scream her name as she filled Octavia to the brim. She knew that with a bit of imagination, she’d probably get off on it too.

The problem was what it always was though; Anya’s slightly awkward relationship skills. She had brought up Octavia’s heat before. That’s how she knew about the suppressants to begin with, and they’d talked about penetration outside of Octavia’s heat too, but Octavia had said she was perfectly happy having Anya’s fingers, so for the most part Anya had put it out of her mind. That is, until one day, maybe two weeks before, when she’d caught Octavia looking into her toy closet with a certain longing, a look that Anya couldn’t quite identify. She knew Octavia had seen the things in there before though. On quite a few occasions, Anya had made Octavia go get her own restraints, using Octavia’s choice as a reference for how rough Octavia wanted her to be. So, obviously, Octavia had seen her small collection of toys; therefore, Octavia had to know Anya would be happy to use those with her. Anya hoped that if she gave Octavia the choice of anything in there, that Octavia would choose one of her toys on her own.

That was where her plan for their evening came in too; a little wine and dine, at a slightly more expensive place than the diner, because she needed to make up for their missed lunch, and then home to her place for the night, so she could give Octavia the chance to choose her own adventure. She had been planning to get Octavia worked up all through dinner, playing footsie under the table and flirting, but when she pushed Octavia up against that closed locker room door and shoved her hand in underneath Octavia’s bike shorts, she realized that was already done. Octavia was so slick already that Anya wondered whether she’d actually be able to get enough friction to get Octavia off. With a little extra pressure and three flat fingers though, Anya managed; cupping her free hand over Octavia’s mouth as she came, stifling what would probably have been an embarrassingly loud moan.

Once Octavia came down, Anya finally sat her down too, moving quickly to turn on the shower before helping Octavia get undressed. It took a little coaxing, but Octavia opened up while they were in the shower, telling Anya every little detail of her bad day. Anya listened dutifully too, just as happy to hear about Octavia’s bad day as she was her good days, doing her best to point out the positives whenever Octavia’s story allowed. Talking things out seemed to help Octavia relax too, at least as much as the quick orgasm had, and by the time, they were walking out the front door of the gym, Octavia seemed like her bad day was well behind her. With her plans for their evening already a little skewed, Anya proposed she pick up dinner on the way back to her place, but that was a suggestion that Octavia immediately started to protest, blurting out, “But I thought we were gonna celebrate…”

Shaking her head, Anya pulled Octavia along through the parking lot, quietly saying, “Yes, that is still the plan, but we need to go to my place for what I have in mind.” Obviously, that peaked Octavia’s interest, and Anya smiled because she knew that Octavia loved it when she planned scenes for them, but still, she couldn’t help feeling a little worried about beginning this particular game. She wouldn’t be disappointed no matter what Octavia chose for their evening, but if it was up to her, she’d already be inside Octavia, hitting all the deep places she couldn’t hit with her fingers, stretching Octavia open in ways she never had before. She had to focus to get to that though, so when Octavia nodded, she pressed in for a quick kiss before she said, “Good, now, what do you want me to pick up for dinner?”

 

~~~

 

Ultimately, they decided on Chinese food, even though Octavia had sort of wanted Thai instead, but when Anya said that she maybe wanted something a little less spicy, Octavia decided to go with it, figuring Anya wouldn’t make such an odd suggestion unless she had a reason to do so. Maybe Anya was planning on covering herself in whipped cream and letting Octavia lick it all off. Spicy Thai food and whipped cream didn’t sound like a good combination. Or, maybe Anya was planning on finding something to punish her over, and bending her over the couch to spank her again. Chicken curry swirling in her belly would definitely mean heartburn in that position. Whatever Anya had planned, Octavia couldn’t get Anya to breathe a word of it, even when she pressed Anya up against the door of her apartment and said she’d only let her go when Anya told her what was on her mind. Anya didn’t budge though, easily saying, “We could just _eat out_ here in the hall if you want, I’m not picky.”

It was the tantalizing way Anya said, ‘eat out,’ that made Octavia groan and pull away, knowing that with the mood Anya was in, she wasn’t going to get more than vague innuendos and suggestive flirting until Anya was ready for her to know more. She tried to tuck into her food instead, crunching happily on her steamed string beans, dipping them in the excess sauce of her teriyaki chicken for a little extra flavor. Anya had ordered the Szechuan beef to go with an order of her own string beans, but whenever Anya looked away, Octavia swapped a bite of her chicken for Anya’s beef. Of course, Anya wouldn’t mind; they did this all the time, but when Octavia caught a little added gleam in Anya’s eyes, she stopped trading bites, thinking that maybe that was just the ammunition Anya needed to turn her ass bright-red by the time the night was over. Not that she’d mind that but sitting through class the next day would be even harder with bruises on her butt.

It seemed that wasn’t on the menu though, when Anya tidied up their leftovers with her usual efficiency, and then tugged her by the arm towards the bedroom. When they paused in the hallway outside the toy closet, Octavia thought maybe Anya was going to do that thing where she made her choose her own restraints for the evening. It was a game that had brought Octavia more then one night’s worth of pleasure, but when Anya finally spoke, there was something different about the way she ordered Octavia to choose, “Why don’t you pick out something for us to play with while I get a few things ready in the bedroom?” To start with, Anya usually spoke to her in a much harsher tone, telling her to, ‘decide which way she wanted to be tied up and fucked.’ Sometimes, she demanded that Octavia strip right there in the middle of the hallway so she could see which restraints looked best against her skin.

Anya’s choice of words that seemed strange too. ‘Pick out _something_ for us,’ stood out in Octavia’s mind. It was deliberate, inclusive; it wasn’t that Anya wanted to play with her. Anya wanted them to play together. The other thing was what did Anya need to ‘get ready’ in the bedroom, and why did she say it in that way that made it seem like whatever she was doing in there was of the upmost importance. She bit her lip to keep herself from asking those very questions when Anya leaned down to brush a tender kiss against her cheek, whispering, “Choose wisely, baby girl.”

Anya was around her and into the bedroom in a flash then, closing the door behind her. That left Octavia with a whole bunch of new questions, but instead of focusing on what she couldn’t control about the rest of their evening, she turned toward the closet and slid the door open. All the usual accessories were there; the leather cuffs and the ropes and the actual handcuffs. Octavia hadn’t been brave enough to try those yet, and she briefly considered picking the handcuffs then, just to see how differently Anya would treat her with such a harsh restraint. Of course, before she could decide, her eyes fell on the one thing she’d thought about every time Anya had made her choose in the past.

That hyper-realistic glass dildo taunted her every single time she opened the closet doors, even when she was just opening the other side to do a load of laundry. Since the first time she had laid eyes on it, she’d thought about Anya’s weight on top of her as she pushed that shaft inside her, how hard and rigid it was, how it would feel sliding in and out of her. Anya’s instructions had always been so clear though, that Octavia had only ever considered it for a moment or two before picking the ropes or the leather cuffs, and then taking them to Anya with a smile on her face. This time, Anya’s words had been so specific that it was almost as if Anya had been telling her to pick that toy. Before she could second guess herself, Octavia wrapped her fingers around the glass and turned towards the bedroom. Seeing the closed door pulled her up short though, and for a second, she didn’t know whether she was supposed to follow Anya when she was ready or wait for Anya to call her in. Her moment of indecision turned out to be the right decision though, when, a moment or two later, she heard Anya calling her name through the door.

It seemed like it took her forever just to get the door open, trading the dildo over to her other hand to turn the knob, but when she finally got the door open enough to see inside, the sight before her hit her like a ton of bricks. Eyes suddenly wide, Octavia could only stare at Anya, standing at the foot of the bed in nothing but a pair of black briefs. She was all sinewy muscles and trim angles, a rawness to her figure that belied the power under her skin. It took Octavia a second, but she managed to take in a few other details around the room; the way the pillows were propped against the headboard, the bottle of liquid sitting alone on Anya’s nightstand, and of course, the hungry gleam in Anya’s eyes. There was a little raise of Anya’s eyebrows as she stumbled closer, but Anya didn’t move to catch her, obviously enjoying the effect she was having. And, what an effect it was; on the next step, Octavia felt herself drip into her own underwear, just from the sight of Anya standing there smirking at her. Her next step proved to be her last unassisted one though, as her shaky knees buckled, and she faltered right into Anya’s arms. Anya’s raspy laughter only served to turn Octavia on more though, especially when Anya’s husky voice sounded out against the side of her head, “What’s this you’ve brought me… huh, baby girl?”

Her throat was so dry, and her brain was so muddled, Octavia couldn’t make more than a grunted response, but when she felt Anya’s hand close around her own fist, and in turn, the dildo too, she finally found the words, crying out, “I— I brought your cock!”

As if the thought of having it inside her wasn’t strong enough, admitting what it was and whose it was, made her quiver with the need. She needed to feel Anya filling her up with it, wrecking her with it, _taking_ her with it. It seemed that was just what Anya had in mind too, when Octavia heard her say, “Did you now? Well, would you like to see what I look like with it on?” Nodding was about all Octavia could do then, except relinquish the toy to Anya’s grip, of course. She watched in awe, as Anya took a step back and fitted the toy into her briefs so that it stuck out the half-hidden hole in front. At first, Octavia hadn’t noticed the O-ring set into the front of the briefs, but when the toy was finally standing out between Anya’s hips, she didn’t really have time to think about that. It looked smaller than it had on the shelf in the closet, smaller than it had felt in her hand, contrasted against the width of Anya’s hips. Octavia knew looks could be deceiving though. She was sure that once it was inside her, it would feel plenty big enough, probably bigger than three of Anya’s fingers combined. Octavia didn’t think she’d have any problem taking it however, especially with the way wetness continued to seep into her underwear. She just hoped Anya would take it easy on her on their first foray into this kind of sex; she wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she was a little nervous. Anya’s next words reassured her though, when she heard Anya say, “Well, what do you think, little O? Does it look big enough to give you what you need?”

The change in Anya’s tone was just as clear as her question. Anya was deliberately checking in with her, without having to actually _check-in_ with her. They still used the color system every once in a while, when it seemed like Anya was feeling particularly aggressive, or when Octavia was being particularly needy, but as of late, Anya had been using it less and less. Sometimes, it was huge turn on; Anya pushing her all the way to the edge, only to pull back at the last second and demand Octavia give her color. The anticipation usually made her orgasm so much better when Anya finally gave it to her, but with a night like this one, Octavia was glad Anya was trying to keep things organic, allowing her words to speak for themselves. Still, she couldn’t help but blush, a little embarrassed at the way Anya seemed to read her mind. Eventually, she managed to choke out a soft, “yes,” before falling silent again, worrying that she couldn’t trust her mouth not to blurt out every single thing she was thinking.

Her gasped response seemed to do wonders for Anya’s confidence, and before Octavia knew it, Anya was positioning herself against the pillows at the head of the bed, looking at Octavia with that come-hither look that always made Octavia swoon. And, swoon she did, stumbling again when she tried to make her legs listen to the brain. Anya’s husky laugh called out to her though, and she steadied herself against the footboard for just a moment, before climbing up on the bed. She was starting to feel a little more confident herself, but she hesitated when she glanced up at Anya’s body again. The clear shaft standing out from Anya’s hips looked almost ominous from that angle and she was suddenly uncertain of how to proceed, despite the fact that she had probably ridden Anya’s hips to her peak a hundred times. Again, it seemed like Anya could read her mind, and Octavia shivered as she heard Anya say, “Don’t worry, little O… I’ll help you.”

The words were reassuring, and Anya’s tone was so tender and sweet, but Octavia still wavered, thinking that even with help she was probably about to embarrass herself. For the first time in her life, she wished she was in heat. Her instincts would help her then; she’d still feel like she was going crazy, but at least, she wouldn’t have to know what to do because her omega would. As much as she wanted to tap into those reflexes though, the suppressants coursing through her body wouldn’t allow for that. She would just have to figure this out herself. Obviously, she’d been paused too long though, because she could hear the uncertainty in Anya’s voice then, when Anya finally whispered, “remember, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to…” At that, Octavia’s eyes shot up to Anya’s face, and before she could even focus, she was shaking her head. She wanted this; very, _very,_ much. She just needed a place to start. Well, she had an idea of where to start, but she was nervous about actually doing it. It seemed Anya took her at her head shake though, and quickly whispered, “well then… you could start by getting me wet, baby girl.”

It wasn’t a command, or even a suggestion. It was more like an instruction; an instruction for Octavia to follow, and despite the nervousness still tingling through her, she crept forward on her knees. She briefly considered the bottle of liquid on the nightstand, knowing it was probably lube, but something told her that what wasn’t what she wanted. Something inside her was screaming for take Anya in her mouth instead. She wanted to keep things as organic as Anya was trying to make them too, and Octavia found herself drifting forward, her eyes fixing on the shaft pointing up at her from Anya’s pelvis again. She felt Anya’s fingers card into her hair; the gesture clearly a question in itself, but instead of answering, Octavia shifted her eyes back up to Anya’s face as she tipped over.

Her lips only brushed against the tip, but Octavia flinched when she felt the cold glass touch her skin. Anya’s fingers briefly tightened in her hair, but then, Anya groaned as her hips tried to chase the contact. Suddenly, it didn’t matter if it was cold; Octavia was sure she was going to warm it up in a second anyway. She openly panted for a second, trying to force more moisture into her mouth, before she tipped forward again. She pressed a few sloppy kisses to the tip, smirking when she felt the glass absorb some of her body heat. Anya groaned again, still staring down at her, but Octavia could tell she was struggling to keep her eyes open already. Apparently just the sight her sucking kisses to the glass was enough to overpower Anya’s distance from the shaft, and Octavia thought she could probably make Anya come, just like that. It made her feel powerful, knowing she had that kind of influence over Anya, and that heady feeling encouraged her to continue, growing bolder with each press of her lips. She started sucking at the head in earnest then, wrapping her lips around it and pulling it into her mouth a little more with each pull.

Anya’s grunts and groans continued too, turning Octavia on even more, but when she tried to take Anya deeper into her mouth, a dryer section of her lips got stuck against the glass. Anya’s hand wrenched her hair then; the added friction of her catching lips obviously causing more stimulation. Octavia pulled back a little bit, trying to smear more of her spit around her shaft, before dipping back down again. When Anya moaned and her eyes finally fell shut though, Octavia suddenly found her mouth was filled with saliva. She allowed her own eyes to fall shut too, as she drooled around the shaft, pulling her lips away only long enough for her saliva leak out of the corners of her mouth before sealing them around the tip again. She got one of her hands involved then too, bringing it up to spread the dripping wetness further down the shaft, but when Anya hissed and jerked at the added friction, she gentled her touch, thinking that the base of the shaft was probably dragging too roughly against Anya’s clit. Anya’s response was immediate though, when she barked out, “No, Keep Going!” Anya’s hand fisted in her hair again too, and this time it was Octavia’s turn to moan.

It came out muffled, almost muted, by Anya’s shaft in her mouth, but as that length sank deeper inside her, she couldn’t care how it sounded. Having Anya desperately calling out above her felt too good to stop anyway. She stroked her hand up and down then, trying to time her strokes so she sucked in as she directed her hand down and drooled as she brought her hand back up. It seemed like no time at all before Anya was completely coated in wetness. Octavia didn’t stop there though, Anya’s hisses and cruses driving her on, until Anya’s hand wrenched so tight in her hair that she couldn’t move on her own anymore. Then, Anya was pushing her down, and Octavia moaned again as the tip of the shaft finally pushed into the back of her mouth, edging on pushing down her throat. The sound cut off abruptly as the shaft tickled the threshold of her throat, and she gagged as the head bobbed inside her. She didn’t let that stop her either though, pushing back against Anya’s grip only long enough to draw in a breath before she allowed Anya to push her back down again.

The shaft sank in even deeper, but that time she didn’t gag; she was too busy moaning to do anything but accept it as the tip slipped down into her throat. She couldn’t breathe, but that didn’t matter either. All that mattered was the wild, choked groan that sounded from Anya’s lips, and the tensing of Anya’s thighs. She followed Anya’s grip in her hair as she was dragged up the shaft, but she couldn’t help whining about it when Anya eventually slipped completely out of her mouth. Her eyes flashed open at the loss, but when she found Anya looking at her with a soft expression, she cut the sound right off. “You’re awfully good at that, baby girl, but I think it’s wet enough now, don’t you?” was all Anya said, but Octavia knew what she was really saying, ‘That feels really good, but I want you to feel good too.’ She didn’t hesitate then, when Anya guided her up the bed, sinking into Anya’s touch as Anya started to help her undress.

To be honest, Octavia had kind of forgotten that she was still wearing her clothes, but as Anya began to pull her top over her head, she became acutely aware of how ruined her briefs were, drenched through until she was sure there was a stain on the front of her leggings too. She might have been embarrassed about that, totally flooded and Anya hadn’t even touched her, but Octavia couldn’t bring herself to care about another pair of ruined underwear, especially when Anya was leaning up to undo the clasp of her bra, whispering, “I bet you’re wet enough too, huh? I can’t wait for you to show me.” Octavia shuddered, the comment obviously meant to be a tease of what was to come, but she found herself all the more eager at hearing Anya’s desire filled voice. She squirmed then, heading Anya off before she could move on to her lower half, quickly stripping away her leggings and underwear in one go. She felt, rather than saw, the way her core tried to cling to her underwear; a string of her arousal breaking coldly against her inner thigh as she pulled them down, but Octavia simply shimmied the rest of the way out of them before looking up at Anya again.

That hungry gleam was back in Anya’s eyes and Octavia knew instantly what she was thinking about, licking her clean solely so that Anya could to make her ridiculously wet all over again. With the shiny glass shaft still bobbing in her periphery, Octavia wasn’t about to let Anya derail what they had spent the last half-hour working up to; she was getting Anya inside her, one way or the other, whether it was back inside her mouth or in places much further down. Her walls clenched at just the thought of finally sinking down onto Anya like this, feeling the blunt head part her folds and push inside, feeling every little ridge and dip as it sank deeper with every roll of her hips.

Somewhere, far in the back of her mind, Octavia knew Anya had chosen this position for a reason; everything Anya did was for some reason or another. She knew that being on top she could control the pace, how much she took and how fast, but there was a very needy part of her that wanted Anya to just impale her and then fuck her until her brain actually fell out. She knew that in order for that to happen though, she was going to have to start somewhere, so she plucked up her self-control as best she could and finally moved to straddle Anya’s lap.

 

~~~

 

Waiting patiently, well almost patiently, Anya watched as a swath of emotions flushed over Octavia’s features; a little doubtful and a little hopeful, a bit desperate and a bit bashful. Underneath all that though, Anya could tell just how turned on Octavia was too. She could feel it in the way Octavia’s trembling thighs practically vibrated against her own. She could hear it in Octavia’s elevated breathing; the rough, ragged pant of exhilaration and anticipation. She could smell it as Octavia’s slick slowly dribbled down her thighs, filling the air with the sweet scent of arousal. It seemed like Octavia needed a little bit of a push though, so Anya took a slightly rougher tone than she had pervious adopted as she said, “Come on now, baby girl. I said I wanted you to show me how wet you are. I really don’t want to have to punish you for taking too long… not when you’re so close to getting a reward.” She jogged her hips up, just the slightest bit, knowing it would make the shaft bob, and she smirked when Octavia’s eyes immediately flashed down to it.

Despite the distraction though, Octavia obediently raised up on her knees, and pushed her hips forward. Even in the low light, Anya could see how wet and swollen Octavia was, outer lips puffy and bright red, glistening and dripping. Just seeing the surface wasn’t enough however, and Anya growled, “I said, Show Me…” Octavia hurried to comply, and Anya’s smile spread as Octavia’s hands shot down to her sex, quickly peeling her outer lips back. The sight that greeted Anya then, was like pure bliss. Octavia’s clit was hard and visibly throbbing, and it had already taken on an almost purple hue too, clearly displaying how swollen it was with her rushing blood. Lower down, Octavia’s opening, _oh god_ , her opening was clenching at nothing; obviously, silently begging for Anya to sink inside. Anya couldn’t help but reach out and touch Octavia then, swirling her fingertip around her rim just to watch Octavia try to take her in. The groan Octavia made was satisfying too, but Anya withdrew her hand when Octavia’s hips twitched forward. Her smile grew ever wider, when Octavia whined at the loss, but she could also tell that Octavia was reaching the edge of her tolerance for playtime. Honestly, Anya was done waiting too; she’d been ready for this moment since they’d first walked through her front door.

Sliding her hands over Octavia’s hips, Anya guided her up the bed, until Octavia was hovering just above the shaft jutting up from her hips. Octavia’s hips twitched forward again too, but Anya didn’t scold her for it; the time for control and obedience had pretty much passed. All that mattered was making this as good as she could for Octavia. She could drive Octavia into the mattress, or prop her up on her hands and knees, later, but for now, she just had to keep her own instincts from ruining the moment. And, they were certainly screaming at her to get the show on the road, to just sink her nails into to Octavia’s hips and force her down, but with Octavia’s trusting, plaintive face staring down at her, it wasn’t hard to ignore those urges. She chanced one last glance down in between them, partly to make sure they were lined up, but also to check and make sure the glass was still shiny with Octavia’s saliva. It seemed that was the case, but Anya knew she really shouldn’t risk it. If the glass wasn’t wet enough, she could actually hurt Octavia, so despite her instincts still yelling at her, and Octavia’s obviously growing impatience, she slipped her hand down Octavia’s thigh until she hit the bed.

Not wanting to break contact for too long, Anya slapped her hand out in search of the lube on the nightstand. She barely managed to get her fist around it before she smacked it away, but she didn’t waste anytime bringing it down in between them either. She dribbled a little liquid down the shaft before discarding the bottle over the edge of the bed. _Thank god for leak-proof tops_ , Anya thought as she brought her hand back to the shaft, smearing the added wetness down with a swift stroke. She quickly realized she probably hadn’t needed it, but this was definitely a ‘better safe than sorry’ sort of situation. When she looked back up to Octavia’s face though, she realized that Octavia no longer cared whether they were safe or not; she was barely holding herself up over Anya’s lap, staring down between them with a look of absolute desperation. Anya didn’t think it was a good idea to just turn Octavia loose on her lap though. The glass was very rigid, obviously, and if Octavia wasn’t used to it, she could in fact hurt herself trying to ride her too hard too quickly. She wiped her hand on the sheets, cleaning it as best she could, before gripping Octavia’s hip again. When Octavia didn’t look up at her, Anya squeezed a little bit as she said, “I know you’re eager, but you’ll have to go slow, baby girl… I— I’m so hard for you that I could hurt you, so be careful.”

Her words seemed to snap Octavia out of whatever trance she had fallen into, and her eyes turned up to meet Anya’s as she replied, “I… I understand. You— you’ll still help me, right?” Anya nodded, smiling as she used her grip to pull Octavia down, just a little, just until she felt Octavia flinch. Contact had clearly been made, but Anya quickly glanced down again anyway, and seeing that they were lined up close enough, she pushed down just a little more. Octavia gasped, and Anya eased up, but after only a moment, she felt Octavia’s hips dip underneath her hands. There was little pang of disappointment, not being able to feel Octavia’s warmth for herself, but when Octavia sighed and sagged slightly into her grip, Anya knew that she was finally inside Octavia; at least the tip, if not an inch or two more. She held Octavia there for a long moment, letting her adjust to the intrusion, but it wasn’t too long before Octavia choked out a soft, “mo-re…”

It was so needy Anya couldn’t control the way her hands flinched and pulled down, but still, she gritted out a “sl-ow…” of her own. Obviously, her tone was harsher than she meant it to be, but with the way the base of the toy was pressing against her clit, Anya just couldn’t help it. It felt good, giving Octavia pleasure, but Anya wasn’t going to lie and act like she wasn’t enjoying herself. Her harsh tone clearly affected Octavia too, and suddenly, all of Octavia’s weight dropped limply into her grip. It was all Anya could do to keep Octavia from falling right down on top of her. She managed, but Octavia’s gasped, hissing whine nearly made her pull down again anyway, despite her efforts to keep this slow. A moment later, when Octavia’s hands fell to her chest, Anya couldn’t hold back anymore. Blunted fingernails descended into her skin and a wild, choked moan bounced off the walls, but Anya could barely feel it, almost couldn’t hear it, because then, Octavia’s pelvis finally met her own. She thought that Octavia would want a minute to get used to the stretch, but after only a couple of seconds, Anya felt Octavia’s hips insistently pressing up against her hands again. She gasped as the base of the toy pulled away from her clit, but she was grateful for the shift; she needed the movement too. After couple of rocky, rolling movements, Octavia seemed like she was ready to take the lead, and Anya was more than happy to let her have it.

Giving herself over to Octavia’s mercy, Anya tried to keep her hips still as Octavia worked to establish a rhythm, moving back and forth in her lap like a pendulum. It was probably one of the hardest things she had ever done, not allowing herself to push up, not allowing herself to take control, but when Octavia’s rhythm wavered here and there, Anya knew that she simply couldn’t allow herself take Octavia like that. At least, not until Octavia was ready. She tried to focus on the little twinges that ticked over Octavia’s features instead. Her eyes were scrunched so tightly shut that Anya couldn’t see her eyelashes anymore. Her forehead was deeply furrowed in concentration, and Anya noticed that every time she rocked her hips forward, her lips twitched open, like she wanted to cry out but was holding herself back. Anya wanted to hear her, wanted to know how Octavia was feeling, but before she could voice her wants, Octavia actually did cry out.

All movement stopped for a moment too, and Anya immediately worried that Octavia was hurt; the cry suddenly sounding more like pain than pleasure. It wasn’t until Octavia was staring down at her, wincing, that Anya realized her grip on Octavia’s hips was hard enough to bruise. Her own blunted nails were digging into Octavia’s skin as well. She knew Octavia liked a little pain; sometimes, she liked a lot of pain, but obviously, her tense grip was too much at the moment. She instantly relaxed her hands, but that just brought a sad whine out of Octavia instead. Octavia’s hips chased her grip too, drawing a sharp gasp from Anya as the base of the toy shifted once again.

Finally, Anya realized what Octavia was asking for; she wanted Anya’s help, but she wasn’t sure how to go about asking for it. Without hesitation, Anya brought her hands up to Octavia’s waist, bending her forward a little more before she moved her hands back down to Octavia’s hips. She resumed her harsh grip and then pulled Octavia’s hips up. It was maybe only an inch or two, but the new angle was obviously working for Octavia. Not more than a minute later, Octavia’s thighs were shuddering every time she rose up on her knees. Anya could hear the broken, rough way Octavia sighed every time she sank down again too. Anya’s instincts really started screaming at her then; her alpha urging her to pull down and push up at the same time, to bury herself as deep as she could get. She knew she couldn’t do that yet though; Octavia still wasn’t ready. Her broken pants and breathy sighs were lovely, but there was still this underlying tension that told Anya she should wait. She tried to focus on the way she felt again. She was still a little disappointed that she couldn’t feel every inch of Octavia wrapped around her, but the friction of the sculpted base of the toy was good, and Octavia’s gently rolling hips were definitely making her throb and twitch against it with every pass. She was close herself, the familiar pressure of release building inside her, but she was determined not to come before Octavia did. That was just bad form.

Luckily, it seemed like Octavia was finally adjusting to the rigidity of the glass. Her rhythm became steadier, and she seemed to sink down harder and harder with each roll of her hips. Before long, Octavia’s panted breaths took the form of words. They were all broken and disjointed, but eventually Anya figured out what she was asking for; “He- m— mo… p-p-p—” translated to “Help me, more… Please…” Her grip at Octavia’s hips turned back to steel then, halting them before Octavia could sink down again. The desperate whine that erupted from Octavia’s lips was all it took. The sound drove Anya’s instincts to the forefront of her mind, and before she knew what she was doing, she had pulled her knees up and braced her feet against the bed, readying to thrust. The shift caused Octavia to gasp, and Anya smirked as her eyes shot open. There was nothing left of the soft green irises Anya was used to, only just a hint of light around dark, wide pupils. It was the way Octavia was looking at her that drove Anya to the very brink of losing herself though. It was pleading, like Octavia needed to move again just to keep breathing. It was desperate, like Octavia would literally fall apart if Anya didn’t start driving into her right then. It was loving too, like Octavia trusted her more than she’d ever trusted anyone before, and that was what finally tipped the scales.

Giving Octavia’s hips one more, good, hard squeeze, Anya took off, pulling down on Octavia’s hips as she snapped her own upwards. The way their skin smacked together echoed of the walls for a moment, but then it was completely drowned out by a long, loud wail. At first, Anya wasn’t sure whether it was a good sound or a bad sound; she’d never heard Octavia so loud before, but then, she felt Octavia’s hips squirm against her hands again, and all logical thought left her. That wail must have been a good sound though, because Octavia made it again and again. Each one was louder than the last too, until finally, Octavia cries choked off, every muscle in her body going rigid all at once. Anya tried to keep going, tried to keep moving them together, but her thrusts weren’t nearly as effective against Octavia’s locked muscles. It seemed Octavia didn’t care; only a few moments later she was quivering and jolting through the force of her release. Anya was concentrating so hard on extending Octavia’s orgasm, that she didn’t feel her own release sneaking up on her; not until it was far too late to hold it off. She managed to sink inside Octavia one last time before she tipped over the edge though, holding Octavia’s hips tightly against her own as she came.

For a long time, neither one of them moved. Anya’s heart was still beating way too fast for her to even think about moving, but eventually, Octavia stirred. The shifting pressed the glass roughly down against Anya’s oversensitive clit though, and suddenly her wildly thumping heart didn’t matter. She did her best to shift with Octavia then, moving with the friction instead of away, but it was still awkward as Octavia clambered off of her lap. Anya groaned too, partly in frustration, but mostly in pain, as the toy rubbed the wrong way yet again. Octavia’s lips met her throat a moment later though, and when her warm weight settled a little off to the side instead of disappearing completely, Anya quickly decided the brief pain was a small price to pay for Octavia’s comfort.

By the time she felt like she could speak, Anya was already wondering of Octavia was alright. After new experiences, especially after rough ones, she always worried if she’d been _too rough_ , and this was no exception. Of course, before she could even get her mouth open, Anya heard Octavia’s raspy sigh, followed by, “If you ask me if I’m ok… if it was good… I’m gonna hit you… hard.” The tension inside Anya broke immediately, and she chuckled, suddenly very glad that she hadn’t gotten a chance to ask just that. Going in to Skai’s the next day with a black eye probably wasn’t a good way to start her new job. If nothing else, she didn’t want to have to deal with explaining to Echo how the bruise got there. _Talk about embarrassing…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two to go now friends... don't worry though. They're two more long chapters, totaling about 45,000 words together...
> 
> Until next time... much love!


	40. The In-Between... Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... It's been two weeks and I'm sorry about that. Just know that I haven't forgotten about this story. I work on it every day, or almost every day, but the last two weeks have been particularly busy. My wife and I are trying to buy a house, so there's that; stressful and time consuming, all on its own. Add in extra long hours at work, and taking a day off to go to the World Pride Parade in New York City, and I'm pretty exhausted. The good kind of exhausted, but still... 
> 
> All that being said, I've only got just a few things to mention before I put this up.
> 
> This is another time jump chapter, spanning over almost six months this time. A lot happens in this chapter, but I've tried to make it as coherent as possible. You'll see a bit of time from all our main characters in this one too (maybe that's why it's so long), and they follow a loose sort of order, with some liberties taken for flashback-style moments. I'm sure all my grammar fans will have things to say about this one and to be honest I'm sure there are some tense problems somewhere. Again, I feel like I've done my best on my own, so if you see something really off, please let me know and I'll try to fix it.
> 
> Lastly, there is a certain situation in this chapter that I did not tag (I think I was trying not to give things away, but now I realize that maybe I should have tagged it all along... Hindsight is 20/20 and all that...). Anyway, I've dropped some hints throughout the story, in other author's notes and inside the story itself, and I'm just hoping that nobody is blindsided by the last section of this chapter. I like it, and I feel like it makes sense, and I hope you feel that way too. (Yes, I realize I'm still being vague, but I've manage to keep this pretty close to the vest so far... I'm sure as hell not gonna give it away now...)
> 
> Alright... I'll shut up now... Please, enjoy...

Sitting in Dr. Walker’s waiting room, Raven was hit by a sudden wave of deja-vu. She was sure she’d never been exactly where she was; half-watching the news, half-watching the door, holding Abby’s hand as they waited to be called back into an exam room. Still, there was a sense of familiarity that she couldn’t quite shake. At least it didn’t last very long; the sound of her own name being spoken in a man’s voice was enough to break the odd sensation, but she couldn’t help glancing around the waiting room as she moved to follow the nurse, thinking maybe it was just the situation that seemed so familiar. Not that she’d ever been pregnant before, not that she knew she was definitely pregnant in that moment either. Just being in the office with Abby was something that had happened before though, so she tried to chalk the deja-vu feeling up to simple coincidence and let that be that.

Having Abby right behind her was a good distraction too, and she clutched tight to Abby’s hand the whole way to the exam room. When they entered, Raven sighed when she saw that it was one of the rooms set up more for consultations than actual exams, with a desk and a couple of chairs and a random plant in the corner. She dreaded having to sit and wait in this room too, but thankfully, Dr. Walker was already waiting for them, seated behind the desk. From the look on her face, there was some good news, and Raven didn’t even let the nurse finish closing the door before she blurted out, “I’m pregnant, right?”

“Yes, Raven, you’re pregnant… Congratulations,” Dr. Walker replied easily, clearly not as excited as Raven was, but obviously happy for her, nonetheless. Raven barely heard the sentiment though, too attuned to Abby’s reaction to hear much beyond her doctor’s first word. There was a sharp inhale, before a brilliant white smile graced Abby’s face. It was one of Raven’s favorite smiles too; the kind that crinkled the corners of Abby’s eyes. After so many weeks of tense waiting, it was exactly Raven needed; to see, hear, and feel Abby’s utter joy.

Before she knew it, she was wrapped in Abby’s arms, her alpha whispering into her hair, “Ra-Raven, you’ve made me so happy, so complete… I love you so much…” Everything else in the world faded away in that moment; all her worries about motherhood, her fears about her leg, even Dr. Walker’s presence in her periphery. For a few moments, all Raven knew was Abby and her love.

Eventually, the beauty of the moment had to end though, and they broke apart long enough for Dr. Walker to go over a few specifics about scheduling their next appointment. At least, Dr. Walker was gracious enough to give them a few minutes of privacy before sending for the nurse to escort them back to the front desk. Raven could still feel that joy radiating out from Abby in waves though; as they scheduled their next check-up and made their way out of the office. She relished in it all the way home. She called Wick on the way to tell him the good news, but also to tell him that she wouldn’t be in for the rest of the afternoon. She and Abby were going home to celebrate. He laughed, joking with her about not being able to ‘get knocked-up twice,’ but Raven didn’t mind his crassness; she just laughed along with him, knowing that was his way of congratulating her. She called Octavia and Clarke too, the first call going much better than the second, but overall, they both seemed happy for her, and for Abby as well. In Clarke’s case, the conversation bordered on painful, Raven hearing a couple of little sniffles here and there, but in true Clarke fashion, Clarke managed to gross herself out in under five minutes, so the conversation was at least over before Raven’s emotions could get the better of her too.

That night was like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day all rolled into one; the anticipation and the satisfaction blending together, revving them both up but also putting them both at ease. It was well into the night before either of them saw any sleep, but that suited Raven just fine. It was much the same way every night that week too. That is, until one morning, Raven woke up feeling just exhausted, like more so than when she’d finally fallen asleep the night before. Unfortunately, the morning sickness set in that day too; Raven’s breakfast and lunch, both making reappearances only minutes after she’d finished eating them. She texted Abby about it, both hoping for a little sympathy and wanting to make Abby feel a little guilty for doing this to her. She knew that was kind of petty but feeling like flaming dog shit also made Raven kind of cranky too. She hoped for Abby’s sake, and for the sake of their relationship, the morning sickness didn’t last long.

Just getting through the door was hard, after going all day on such little food, but she managed to stumble her way into the living room before collapsing onto the couch. Abby was there in a matter of moments though, helping her up and leading her into the kitchen. It wasn’t until then that Raven realized that the whole townhouse smelled like food, like good, home-cooked meal, food. Surprisingly, for the first time all day, the smell didn’t make Raven want to gag. Once she was surrounded by it, it didn’t take Raven long to figure out why. Abby’s scent was so intermingled with the smell of the food that it couldn’t not smell good. Abby sat her down at the bar then and Raven relaxed a little bit as Abby went about serving her. She forced herself to eat slow, despite how hungry she was, but Raven eventually finished a full bowl of the noddle soup Abby had made. With a little extra swallowing, she even managed to keep it down. Needless to say, Abby was going to be making a lot of her meals over the next few weeks.

Their first check-up with Dr. Walker came and went easily enough; more tests and more test results, but no ultrasound. Apparently, even at ten weeks, there wasn’t much to see in there. Dr. Walker seemed like everything was moving along smoothly though, even going so far as to indulge an over-eager _Dr. Griffin_ for some additional tests; tests that weren’t usually performed until the end of the first trimester. They’d argued about it, of course, but Raven tuned most of it out, instead using her energy to try to keep Abby as clam as she could. She simply sat quietly while they debated things like the finer points of chromosomal blood testing that early into the pregnancy, and whether or not there was any merit to doing a pelvic exam that early either. Eventually, Dr. Walker had given in, but Raven suspected that was only because she didn’t want to argue anymore. The tests and exams had all come back normal, but after the results were in, Raven was surprised when Abby said they should have those same tests done again, only when Dr. Walker had originally said they should be done. She didn’t say anything about that ridiculousness though, feeling like Abby was probably already on the brink of a freak out.

Of course, Raven had seen a few of those in the last couple of weeks too, when was Abby obsessing over her diet, or her workload, or how much exercise she was getting. For the most part, Raven had gone along with every little thing Abby had suggested. She figured that because Abby had done this before, and because she was a doctor, that she probably knew what was best. That is, until, one morning, when Abby had been especially testy, and Raven was already tired from not eating and sleeping as much. It hadn’t taken much for Abby’s well-meaning words to become a full-blown argument. It was over the silliest thing too; whether they should try pasta for dinner, or just have soup, again. To be honest, Raven was kind of sick of soup. Sure, it was cold outside, and the soup always made her feel warm inside, but two straight weeks of soup had made her restless. She figured a big bowl of pasta with sauce would be the same thing, but Abby had been adamant about the soup being easier to digest, and overall, better for the baby. It shouldn’t have bothered Raven so much, she wanted everything she did to be good for their baby, but she just couldn’t imagine eating another bowl of soup. She was just-plain soup-ed out, but Abby wasn’t listening, and she was being bullheaded, and it just turned into this big mess; one that Raven wasn’t even sure how to fix.

That was a gloomy morning for sure, and an even darker day; her eight-hour shift feeling more like eighty, but when Raven got home, she sighed when she found Abby stirring a big pot of boiling pasta on the stove. She suddenly felt more stupid than she’d felt all day, knowing that it didn’t matter what Abby made, because it was still _Abby_ that made it for her. She powered her way through two helpings; one because she owed Abby that much for starting an argument over nothing, and then a second because it just tasted so damn good. She went on to apologize too, more than once, actually; but only the first time was with her words. Abby had protested at first, when Raven pressed her up against the kitchen counter and sank to her knees, but by the time Raven had Abby’s pants down around her ankles, their fight seemed to be officially over. After that, Raven tried not to sweat the little things so much, but when she did, when she made a mess out of nothing, she always made sure Abby knew she was sorry, no matter how tired work made her feel.

Things at the shop weren’t much better than at home; the guys seemed to have taken it on themselves to make sure Raven never lifted anything over twenty-five pounds. Somehow, she always managed to get the least-greasy jobs too. The new girl they had hired, a heavy-handed beta named Emori, was pretty much surgically attached to Raven’s hip whenever she was in the shop. It was grating, having someone tagging along behind her all the time. It wasn’t such a big deal when they were working on a car from above, but space was usually at a premium when Raven was laying on her back on a creeper under a car. Emori wasn’t very experienced with domestic cars though, and she had to learn somehow. So, they spent a lot of time crowded under a car together, apologizing for bumping into each other or reaching across each other looking for tools.

It seemed Emori was a fast learner though, and after only a few weeks of being in tight quarters together, Raven was turning her loose to fix cars on her own. That was good a thing too, because every day for those three weeks, when Raven came home, Abby always made a funny face, like she smelled something off. It took Raven far longer than it should have to realize that working in such close proximity with Emori was making her smell, not bad per se, but different. After that realization, she made sure to shower first thing when she got home every day, and just that simple act made things easier all around. She could feel Abby’s possessive streak getting more prominent with every passing day, and Raven figured that showering twice a day was a small price to pay to appease Abby’s mind. Raven knew Abby had enough worries rolling around in there; she didn’t need unnecessary ones clogging up the works.

Raven’s second check-up made some of those worries worse though. When they arrived, it seemed that Dr. Walker was running about an hour behind. The receptionist asked them to be patient, telling them that Dr. Walker had had a difficult delivery that morning, but that she would be in shortly. Even knowing the reason for the delay, the waiting still put Abby on edge, which of course, made Raven feel cagey too. By the time Dr. Walker got there, Raven thought she had pretty much gotten a handle on her own nerves, but Abby was obviously not so controlled, snapping at Dr. Walker the instant she came into the exam room. Raven instantly reached out and took Abby’s hand, knowing that without something to ground her, Abby was liable to fly completely off the rails. Dr. Walker took it in her usual stride though, if maybe a little more passive-aggressively than usual, and simply shook her head as she said, “I apologize for the wait… but I lost a patient this morning.”

That shut Abby right up, and Raven too for that matter; her heart instantly filling with regret and guilt. Of course, they were Abby’s emotions, but Raven felt them just as keenly as if they were her own. It wasn’t long before she was trembling under the weight of them either, but she still managed to croak out a simple, “I— I’m sorry, Dr. Walker.” Eventually, Abby seemed to come to her senses too, parroting her words and offering Dr. Walker a sad, yet knowing, smile. The appointment became an almost somber affair after that; Dr. Walker mostly going through the motions as Abby clutched tightly to her hand. In fact, Abby didn’t let go through her entire ultrasound, tearing up with her when they first heard their child’s heartbeat, and actually crying when they saw their child for the first time.

There still wasn’t much to look at, at least to Raven’s untrained eye, but she could make out enough to know that that baby was definitely in there. What Raven didn’t understand though was why she was seeing a double image. That is, until Abby’s hand clenched impossibly tight around her own, and Raven heard her whisper, “twins…” That one word hung in the air for the longest time, but then Dr. Walker swirled the ultrasound wand around her belly, quickly refocusing on their child from above. Suddenly, that double image wasn’t just a blurry duplicate anymore. There were defined lines and clear pictures, a whole bunch of little, tiny parts all moving in sync; two little hearts beating together, two little heads nodding and wiggling together, two little babies lying cuddled up, side by side together.

Dr. Walker confirmed Abby’s assumptions a moment later, but Raven didn’t actually hear any of the words. Her ears were too full of her own rushing blood. Her head filled with questions too, like if one baby was going to be hard for her to carry, what would it mean if she was carrying two? Also, if she was already worried about being able to care for one, what was it going to be like trying to keep up with two? Despite her worries, Raven felt her heart fill with love, and joy and wonder too; a feeling of simple, utter, bliss washed over her. If her emotions were any indication, Abby was over the moon about this new development, so Raven tried to push down her doubts and just enjoy the moment with her alpha.

And, enjoy it she did, watching their little babies twist and turn together. That is, until Dr. Walker finally broke back in, saying, “Well, we have our work cut out for us now, ladies.” Raven didn’t want to stop looking at the ultrasound screen, even after Dr. Walker removed the wand from her skin, but eventually she turned towards Dr. Walker when she continued to speak, “Raven, you’ll be needing to get even more rest now, and I think it’s probably best if we go ahead and start those massages we talked about before. It couldn’t hurt anyway, and you’ll need to eat more now too…” Raven kind of lost track after that; all of Dr. Walker’s suggestions began to bleed together. Luckily for her, for all of them, Abby was drinking in every word Dr. Walker said, even going so far as to let go of Raven’s hand to begin typing notes in on her phone. Raven didn’t mind though; she was going to need as much help as she could get over the next few months.

At Abby’s insistence, Raven’s check-ups were scheduled for every week after that. It was inconvenient but Raven went along with it, knowing that Abby just wanted to make sure that she and their babies were getting everything they needed. Mostly, that seemed to be the case too; developmentally, the twins seemed to be right on schedule. Raven was eating better and sleeping more and taking on less responsibility at work too, but there was one area where she wasn’t getting absolutely everything she needed. The first couple of days, Raven just chalked it up to tiredness, but after a week, she started to get frustrated. Abby hadn’t touched her since the night before that first ultrasound, and with the pregnancy hormones and Raven’s usually healthy appetite, it wasn’t long before she started feeling like she might just shrivel up and die without a good orgasm. She’d tried to talk to Abby about it, more than once actually, but she chickened out every time, not wanting to stir up trouble over something that, technically, she should be able to live without.

After two weeks like that, Raven felt herself growing more and more desperate though, and eventually, she started trying to find time to take care of the problem herself. It seemed like Abby was always there though; checking on her when she took too long in the shower or ushering her off to bed early but only to sleep. At that point, Raven thought about asking Dr. Walker about it, if she ever got her doctor alone. She figured her urges were pretty normal, but Abby’s reluctance made her wonder if Abby knew something she didn’t. Of course, Abby was right there during her entire appointment that week and Raven chickened out again.

Another week passed, with nothing but a few soft, chaste kisses and gentle hands perched safely on her hips. The constant, subtle rejection made Raven feel so stirred up that she simply couldn’t take it anymore. At that point, she didn’t care if Abby was in the room or not, she was going to get some answers; and then, hopefully, she would _get some_ , period. When Dr. Walker swept into the exam room that day, running a little behind again, Raven didn’t hesitate; she just laid it all out there, blurting out, “Will you tell my mate that I’m not fragile, that I won’t break if she touches me?”

Abby gasped beside her, scolding her with a harsh exhale of her name, but Raven didn’t even look at her. She kept her eyes fixed on Dr. Walker instead, hoping for some back-up. She got it a moment later too, when Dr. Walker smiled as she said, “Well, hello to you too, Raven… You’re right, though. You’re not… fragile, just because you’re carrying twins. Although, maybe some… gentility is in order.” Raven blushed at that, remembering how concerned Dr. Walker had been over some bruises she’d had at their initial appointment to have her implant removed. She couldn’t help but look over at Abby then, and she smiled when she saw Abby blushing as well. Actually, Abby almost looked like the cat that swallowed the canary; a little bashful, but definitely guilty. Raven’s smile spread into a wide grin, when Abby finally nodded, seemingly accepting Dr. Walker words.

Thankfully, the rest of their appointment was much more mundane; another ultrasound, with similar observations as the last one. It seemed the twins were still right on schedule. Before they left, there was another discussion about pregnancy-safe blood thinners, but when Dr. Walker said she didn’t think they were necessary Abby didn’t argue. That surprised Raven, to be sure, but on the way home, when she called in to the shop to tell them she wasn’t going to be in for the rest of the afternoon, she wasn’t surprised when Wick just laughed and said, “Good, you need to get laid. I’m not sure I could let you come in to work tomorrow if you didn’t…” before hanging up on her. Wick’s lack of tact didn’t really bother her, but Abby’s hand on her thigh helped mitigate some of the sting from his tone. She knew she’d probably been driving him crazy over the last couple of weeks though, so she figured she could let him get away with a little jab once in a while.

That night, Abby made her a beautiful dinner, and they made love after; twice, in fact. Abby was still tentative and probably overly gentle, but when they were done, both slightly sweaty and sated, Raven realized it was exactly what she needed. Just that reaffirmation of their connection was enough to set her mind, and body, at ease. She was pleased when that trend continued too. Every night after that, Abby greeted her with a home cooked meal, and a side of sex. Abby was still reserved, and there were a few nights where Raven wished she wouldn’t be so careful, but the constant stream of affection definitely helped Raven keep her hormones in check. She didn’t even mind when Wick and Bellamy threw her an impromptu baby shower; complete with cake she wasn’t supposed to eat and beer she couldn’t drink.

The next week Dr. Walker was running behind again; so behind in fact, that the office called ahead and asked if they wanted to reschedule, or if they wanted to see one of Dr. Walker’s associates instead. Raven didn’t really care either way, but ultimately, Abby made the decision to reschedule, saying that the ultrasound they had both been waiting for could wait one more day. It made sense; Abby wanted Dr. Walker to be the one to tell them the sex of the twins, and Raven couldn’t really argue with that. By the time they finally got into the exam room the next day, Raven couldn’t figure out who was more excited; her or Abby or her doctor. The broad smile on Dr. Walker’s face faded almost immediately once she’d started the ultrasound though. It seemed the twins were being shy, lying one on top of the other, so it was a long time before Dr. Walker finally said, “Well, I’m not a hundred percent sure, but it seems that you have two healthy boys in there.”

It was a bittersweet moment if ever there was one; Raven immediately thinking of Abby’s twin boys, the ones she never got to have. From Abby’s tightened grip on her hand, Raven knew that was what Abby was thinking about too, but it seemed Abby didn’t want to dwell on that, when Raven heard her say, “What do you mean, ‘you’re not sure?” Abby and Dr. Walker poured over the ultrasound images with a fine-toothed comb then, pointing out each little bump and line. They were at it so long that Raven almost lost interest, but eventually, Dr. Walker declared she was sure, like one-hundred and ten percent sure. Raven’s heart swelled at that, and all she could think about was holding her babies and her mate and loving them so much she never had to let them go.

 

~~~

 

Living with Clarke was everything Lexa dreamed it would be and more. Maybe that was because they were about as bound together as they could be, at least without legal papers anyway, but it seemed like they were falling into the perfect little life together. She woke up every day with a smile on her face, and went to bed with that same smile, because Clarke was there with her every time. It might have gotten awkward, spending so much time with Clarke, but she still got time to herself during the day, when Clarke went into to work at the shop. Even on days when Clarke was home, she was working on some piece that she wanted to finish, and Lexa was free to work in her studio in peace. So maybe, when Lexa worked, she left the door open now, and instead of using headphones, she played her music through a nice set of speakers she had, but she would never admit she was doing it on purpose. The thing was, Lexa knew Clarke liked her music, found it inspirational, and she figured if she could motivate Clarke and get her work done at the same time, then what did it matter if it took her a little longer to get things done.

Clarke’s workdays at the art supply store became fewer and farther between though, as she was starting to make a steady supply of money from private commissions. It seemed Gallery Night at Polaris had only been the jumping off point for Clarke, and Lexa was happy that Clarke was finally making money doing what she loved. Clarke’s general enthusiasm for life reflected in their bedroom too. Some nights, Lexa barely got any sleep at all, only catching a few hours, before she had to leave for work. As tried as she was when those days were over, Clarke was usually worse, blurry eyed by the time they left the club, and needing help as they made their way up the stairs. Nights like those, Clarke was so tired she barely managed to kiss Lexa goodnight before falling asleep. Lexa figured that was just how things went sometimes, and honestly, she enjoyed the goodnight kisses almost as much as she did the goodnight orgasms. That is, until she noticed a pattern starting to form. Their nights wrapped up in bed together grew further and farther between too; Clarke staying up until all hours of the night, locked away in the spare bedroom-turned-art-studio, working. Lexa knew it was a busy time in Clarke’s life though and pushed down her own needs more than once when Clarke’s work got it the way.

To be honest, Lexa’s work at Polaris wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows either. It seemed like Titus was getting more and more tired as the days turned into weeks. As those weeks turned into months, he got worse and worse too, until finally Lexa couldn’t ignore it anymore. She tried to nail him down, tried to convince him to come in early one day so they could talk. Of course, being a fairly private man, Titus put her off, simply saying ‘he was fine, not to worry.’ Lexa couldn’t help but worry though. At least, she wasn’t the only one to notice; Marcus had asked her about Titus, and Gina seemed concerned too. Ultimately, it was when Jasper asked her about it, saying that ‘their old boss seemed more old than usual,’ that Lexa knew she had to sit down with Titus and get to the bottom of whatever was going on with him. She made Marcus set up a meeting, hoping that Titus wouldn’t stand them up if he thought it was about the business. The word intervention was thrown around then, but Lexa refused to think of it that way. Even though they weren’t especially close, she just wanted to know that her boss was alright.

It turned out to be a lot more like a reveal party than an intervention though, only with roughly the same amount of fun. When she pulled into the parking lot down the street from Polaris, she hadn’t been expecting to see Anya making her way towards the club, swinging arm in arm with Jasper. When she got inside, she definitely wasn’t expecting to find Marcus standing by the bar talking with Lincoln and Ryder and Gina. There were others too; a cluster of people hanging around one end of the bar, but she couldn’t figure out who they were because they had their backs to her. Even, Monroe was there, standing with a couple of the part time bartenders and one of the DJ’s who spun in one of the smaller rooms. Lexa thought his real name was Hansen or something like that, but he mostly went by his stage name, DJ Illian. He seemed like a decent kid, and she liked Monroe too, but before she could go over and say hello, she found Marcus approaching her instead. He was smiling, but Lexa didn’t like he was happy to see her. He seemed more relieved actually, and that only made more sense when he said, “Good, you’re here… Now we can get started.”

That sort of threw Lexa for a loop, but when Titus finally made his appearance, coming out of the bathroom, she realized that maybe this really was some sort of intervention. She glanced around again and quickly noticed that every single person who worked there, whether part-time, full-time or even just occasionally, was in attendance. Most everyone was looking her way too, and that made Lexa a little nervous, but she figured if she was the last to arrive, then everyone had been waiting for her anyway. At least it seemed that Marcus didn’t need her to actually lead their little meeting; obviously, he had no problem speaking to a crowd. As all eyes in the room turned towards Marcus though, Lexa choose to focus on Titus instead. He looked incredibly uncomfortable with everyone crowded around him, but as Marcus began to thank everyone for coming in on their day off, Titus seemed almost relieved. Lexa was so busy watching the emotions move across his face that she almost missed it when Marcus said, “And, that’s why we’re all here, Titus has decided to retire…”

There was a collective gasp then; sharp inhales all around her, but Lexa wasn’t among them. The slow smile that spread across Titus’s face stole her breath. He was _actually_ smiling. For the first time, he seemed genuinely happy, and Lexa smiled for him, thinking she couldn’t be happier either. She felt a sudden prickling sensation though, like she was being watched, and when she finally turned her eyes away from Titus, she met several other sets of eyes instead. Everyone in the room was staring at her, looking expectant, but happy as well. She had obviously missed something, but she also knew there would no graceful recovery; she didn’t even try as she sheepishly called out, “Say what now?”

Focusing on Marcus as he stepped forward, Lexa held her breath when she saw the look on his face. Suddenly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear whatever it was that she had missed, but Marcus laid it on her anyway, chuckling slightly as she said, “The papers are already signed, Lexa… Titus is giving his half of Polaris to you and Anya.” Distantly, Lexa heard Anya sputtering and coughing, probably spitting a mouth full of beer back into her mug. She heard everyone else muttering and whispering too, but Lexa couldn’t think about all those people at that moment. She turned back to Titus then, sighing when took in the brightness of his smile. She quickly realized why he’d seemed so happy before. He already knew about all this, had probably known for a while, if he and Marcus had already signed papers about it. Clearly, he was happy about giving away his life’s work, because of who he was giving it to, and Lexa couldn’t help but move to his side.

Before she knew it, she had her arms wrapped around him, and his wrapped around her too. After only a few seconds though, she understood why he was retiring, why he was so tired all the time. He was as thin as a rail, and his skin seemed so sallow and frail that Lexa worried she was hugging him too hard. She didn’t get the chance to break away from him, didn’t get the chance to ask him what was really going on, because he just pulled her closer and whispered, “I’m happy I can leave you with this legacy, _Heda_ … the cancer may be finally taking my body, but at least now it won’t get my soul too.”

Lexa cried then; she didn’t care who was in the room, or who was actually watching her. She didn’t care who was seeing her be weak. She would be weak for the man who had first taken a chance on her. She would be weak for the man who had let her explore and create, and who ultimately had trusted her with the hearts and minds of his customers, because now, here he was, trusting her with a piece of him, a piece of his soul. After a minute or two, Lexa felt Anya’s arms wrap around them both too, and that just made her cry harder, knowing that Anya was just as overwhelmed. They stood like that for a long time too, until Lexa finally heard the sounds of shuffling feet and whispered goodbyes. Still, despite all those people moving around her, Lexa continued to cry. She couldn’t not; it was all she could do to keep herself from outright sobbing for the fragile man she held in her arms.

Eventually, the room quieted again, and Anya’s arms squeezed tight around her for a moment before she finally let go. Lexa didn’t want to, but she backed away as well, knowing that the moment had come to an end. Titus was looking at her with soft red eyes though, and she smiled a watery smile when she realized she hadn’t been crying alone. She chanced a guilty glance at Anya then, and she knew it before she saw it; the solid smirk on Anya’s face told her that it would be some time before she lived this down. She didn’t care; Anya could tease her all she wanted, because Lexa was pretty sure the teardrop stains on Anya’s shirt weren’t from _her_ tears. She didn’t say anything about it at the time, deciding to save that little gem for a day when she really didn’t feel like taking any of Anya’s shit.

It seemed like no time at all before Polaris officially changed hands, but it was another month after that before Lexa actually saw any profit from it. When she got that first check though, she was kind of blown away by how much it was for and decided to take Clarke out to dinner to celebrate. They celebrated all through the night that night too, but it was bittersweet too. The next day, Lexa finally got the news; Titus had died peacefully in his sleep. She was thankful that it was Gustus that came to make the notification, because when she cried at least she knew who’s shoulder she was crying on. She found out later that Gustus had found out about Titus through the grapevine at work and had taken on the responsibility of notifying both her and Anya himself. After Gustus left, Lexa’s first call was to Clarke, seeking comfort and support, but she spoke briefly with Anya too, and found out that she had already called Octavia. She called Marcus after Anya, just to let him know, but it seemed that he already knew. He explained that Titus’ insurance company had already called him to start settling the rest of Titus’ estate. He made some joke about how they worked fast when they thought they were getting money instead of giving it out, but because Titus had already given Lexa and Anya his most valuable asset, Marcus said there wasn’t much to settle. Marcus also said he would call all the Polaris staff and let them know and Lexa was beyond grateful for that; she wasn’t sure she could handle notifying everyone herself.

By the end of the day, everyone whoever knew Titus knew he was gone. The club was closed that night too. It was the first Friday night in twenty-two years that Polaris’ doors didn’t opened to the public. Most everyone she knew was there anyway though; Clarke and Marcus and Lincoln and Ryder, Anya and Octavia, even Abby and Raven stopped by for a little while. Everyone seemed somber though, and Lexa knew that that wasn’t what Titus would have wanted. For all of those twenty-two years, Titus lived and breathed Polaris, and if they were going to have a wake, or whatever this gathering was, there needed to be music, and whiskey. Only the best from Titus’ private stash would do too. In truth, by the time that night was over, there wasn’t much left in that stash; just one unopened bottle. Lexa went to open it, thinking maybe she’d just face-off on the whole bottle and wake up sometime the following week, but Anya stopped her, suggesting that they save it instead. She said she thought it would nice if they memorialized it somehow. That turned into a whole thing, but eventually, Raven and Clarke decided on a shelf behind the main bar, right over the cash register. Once it was installed, Lexa placed Titus’ last bottle, and his ashes, on it, so they could sit side by side.

Time moved on, like it always does, and life moved on with it. Lexa wasn’t taking a salary anymore, but the profit checks kept rolling in instead. If the increasing number of zeros was any indication, the bar’s business was booming. She had weekly meetings with Marcus, so they could keep an open discussion on the business. They talked about making improvements to the sound systems in the smaller dance rooms, and they hired a consultant to upgrade the lighting in the main room. They even hired some new staff; a DJ name Gaia, who would alternate nights with one of the other DJ’s in the back building, and a couple of new barbacks for their busier nights. They established an open mic night on Wednesdays and happy-hour karaoke on Fridays. They had local bands play on the weekends sometimes too. It seemed like things couldn’t get any better.

Even so, through all that planning and partying, Titus’ ashes stared at Lexa from that shelf behind the bar. Most nights, she tried not look at them, tried not to even think about them, but still, they were just sitting there, almost like they were haunting her. When she mentioned her unease to Anya, her cousin just shrugged and said, “Maybe we should spread them somewhere… I don’t know, did his will say anything?” Honestly, Lexa didn’t even know if Titus had had a will, but the next time she saw Marcus she decided to ask him about it. He was sort of tight lipped about it to start with, but eventually she managed to get it out of him. Titus did have a will, but there was nothing specific in it about where had wanted his ashes to go once he was cremated. Apparently, it was up to Lexa to decide. Despite the uneasy feelings those ashes gave her, Lexa couldn’t imagine just discarding them. Ultimately, it was Clarke who helped her come up with a solution, suggesting that she make something artistic out of Titus’ ashes. It took her some time, but the statuette that Clarke made was perfect; beautiful but simple. It was a large, tear-drop shaped stone with an infinity symbol etched into the front. When Lexa placed it on the shelf beside Titus’ bottle, she actually felt like she could start to make peace with his death.

Just as things started to settle at Polaris again, things at home took a turn for the worst. The deadline for Clarke’s gallery series was looming only a few weeks away and it seemed that Clarke was frantic to try to finish everything in time. Lexa didn’t mind going to bed alone a few nights in a row, but after a full week, she’d finally had enough. She tried to talk to Clarke about it, to tell her that she was working herself into exhaustion and that that wasn’t good, but Clarke wouldn’t hear of it. That night, they had a big enough blow out about it that, not only did Lexa go to bed alone, but she woke up that way the next morning too. It was heart breaking, thinking that Clarke had been so mad that she hadn’t come to bed at all. Lexa didn’t hesitate to go looking for her though, knowing that she needed to apologize. She could have been more understanding about Clarke’s need to work and shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of her own loneliness. She’d apologize because she’d do just about anything to not have to wake up alone again.

It didn’t take Lexa long to find Clarke; all she had to do was follow the soft, snoring sounds coming from Clarke’s studio. She almost laughed when she saw Clarke passed out in her desk chair, her whole upper body slumped over on her desk. She did smile though when she realized that Clarke had just fallen asleep working. She hadn’t meant to leave Lexa alone all night. Waking Clarke as gently as she could, Lexa’s smile widened when Clarke finally blinked up at her and croaked out, “Oh, Lexa… I— I’m sorry…” Of course, Lexa tried to apologize too, but Clarke didn’t let her get very far, dragging her off to their bedroom, promising to ‘make it up to her.’ She hated to admit it, but she was nearly late to work that night because of Clarke’s extended apology.

After Clarke’s galley series was finally up on display though, a whole other kind of deadline took ahold of their lives. It was only going to be a few days before Clarke’s heat would set in, and with everything going on, it was a mad dash to get all their affairs in order before it came. After much convincing, Lexa managed to line up a sub for her at Polaris. That worked out better than she could have hoped too, as she finally reached an agreement with DJ Luna to cover her whenever she needed time off. Having a big name like that around the club would be really good for business. At home, Lexa stocked the fridge and washed all the sheets. She made about forty hours of music mixes, and she bought a ton of candles; for ambience. It wasn’t that she needed to put in all the extra effort, but she wanted to make Clarke’s heat special. Obviously, it wasn’t their first time together, but it was their first full heat together as a bonded pair, and she wanted Clarke to know how much she meant to her.

Even with all her planning and scheduling, things still seemed to go sideways. Really, she should have been expecting it; Clarke always reacted so strongly to Lexa’s pheromones, but when Clarke called her and said she wouldn’t be making it to Polaris, Lexa knew exactly why. An omega in heat, even a bonded one, was vulnerable, and she knew that Clarke hated feeling that way. She rushed out the door that night, barely finishing her shut-down process before she walked away from the decks. She texted Luna on the way home, letting her know that she needed her to cover the next night, as well as the rest of the weekend. Thankfully, Luna seemed prepared, obviously used to subbing in for someone else at the last minute, and texted back simply, ‘Sounds good. Have fun!’ She messaged Marcus too, trying to sound more professional, texting him she would be ‘unavailable for the rest of the week.’ Funny enough, his reply was so similar to Luna’s that Lexa had to do a double take to make sure she was reading the right message. She hadn’t expected such a casual response from him, but she figured what else was he going to say, ‘ _Have a good heat!? Try not to pull a muscle?’_

Lexa nearly did pull a muscle too; Clarke’s heat was a full five days long, and Clarke was as needy as ever before. The second Lexa got home from Polaris, Clarke demanded that she strip, right there in the entry way. Lexa didn’t argue; Clarke was looking at her like she might literally tear her clothes off if she wasn’t fast enough. After that, Clarke was so all over her that Lexa didn’t even have time to think about putting clothes back on. By the time Clarke’s hormones started to settle, Lexa felt utterly and totally spent. Not that it wasn’t some of the best days of her life, but when they finally resurfaced from the haze of Clarke’s heat, it was Clarke who who pointed it out, saying, “God, I feel like I’ve just spent the last five days continuously running a marathon...”

Laughing, Lexa agreed wholeheartedly, saying, “Well, I feel like I’ve just spent the last five days on horseback… You know, rode hard and put away wet?” That made Clarke laugh, and Lexa relished in the sound of it, smiling as she rolled them over, so she was on top of Clarke once more. As tried as she was, she wasn’t going to miss out on one last hurrah; at least until Clarke’s next heat.

 

~~~

 

Spring had sprung, or at least it was trying to, and while Abby was happy to have the longer days and the warmer weather, there was a heaviness in the air that she couldn’t quite shake. It felt like foreboding, like she’d forgotten something, and that forgetfulness was leading towards disaster. She wracked her brain, day after day, trying to figure out what it might be, but it wasn’t until she spotted a flash of light, the fluorescents at the hospital catching on the bracelet around her wrist, that she realized why things felt off. She had proposed, and Raven had accepted, but she hadn’t followed through. Of course, they’d gotten busy, what with Raven’s pregnancy and the shop and the hospital, but Abby knew she still wanted Raven to marry her. She worried that she might have waited too long for them to actually tie the knot before the babies were born though. She didn’t know if, now that Raven was showing, she would still want to get married. Abby didn’t think Raven was that vain, but she figured a ‘shotgun-wedding’ was probably the first thing people would think when they saw them together. Surely, the weight of those people’s judgement would weigh heavily on both of them too.

Those people didn’t really know them though. They didn’t know how much she loved Raven, didn’t know how easily Raven had broken through every one of her defenses and won a place in her heart. Ultimately, other people’s opinions didn’t matter; their happiness was the only thing that mattered to her. If getting married would make Raven happy, then Abby would be happy too. If Raven wanted to wait, then they would wait. She knew all she had to do was ask too, so when she came home from work one day, she finally brought it up, trying to keep her tone casual as she simply said, “So… I think we should get married.”

Raven laughed at her, because of course she would, but Abby didn’t find it hurtful. She figured that she’d at least shocked Raven a little bit, if nothing else. Just saying that out of the blue probably wasn’t the best of ideas, but when Raven finally got control over her laughter and choked out, “I— I thought we were already getting married,” Abby realized she really should have considered her words a little longer before just blurting them out.

With a slightly exasperated sigh and a roll of her eyes, Abby corrected herself, saying, “I guess what I meant to say was… I think we should get married, soon.” That seemed to cut Raven’s laughter even shorter, a serious sort of expression falling over her face and hardening her features. The sudden change in Raven’s demeanor caused Abby to backpedal though, and she quickly added, “If you— if you still want to, of course?”

Raven flashed her with that signature smirk then, and Abby immediately started kicking herself, knowing that she’d fallen for Raven’s teasing yet again. At least, Raven was messing with her, instead of actually worried about marrying her. She didn’t get a chance to scold Raven for playing around though, because no more than a second later, Raven was pressing into her space, and whispering, “I’d love to marry you,” against her lips. Abby didn’t get a chance to respond either; Raven was kissing her too hard for Abby to even think anymore. Even after all the incredible kisses they had shared, it still special, getting to connect with Raven like that. There was no question left in Abby’s mind; they were finally going to get married.

It was a long time before Raven pulled away; maybe she needed to breathe or maybe it was because she felt just as overwhelmed as Abby did, but Abby still smiled when Raven announced, “Let’s do it tomorrow!” It was Abby’s turn to laugh then, as she explained that they’d have to apply for a license, and then there would be a short waiting period before it would actually be approved. Her serious explanation didn’t seem to deter Raven at all though, if anything Raven seemed more excited, as she sarcastically said, “Ok, _Debbie-Downer_ … We’ll get the license tomorrow, and then we’ll get married _next_ weekend!”

So, that was how Abby found herself standing in front of a judge the following Friday morning, Raven standing beside her, holding her hand, with their little make-shift family looking on from the back of the room. It wasn’t the big extravagant wedding she’d had with Jake; an insistence her mother had made when they’d first announced their engagement. Marrying Raven didn’t feel any less real though, without all the pomp and circumstance, because every time Abby looked into Raven’s eyes, she just fell that much deeper in love with her. The ceremony was short and succinct; the officiant simply asking them both if this was what they wanted and then they signed some papers, and it was over. As they took their place off to the side to wait for the Justice’s signature, Abby felt the need to make the moment special somehow. She needed to say something, but she didn’t really have anything prepared. Trying to focus on all the things she wanted from their marriage, Abby leaned into Raven’s ear and whispered, “I— I promise to love you and cherish you… and hold you and aid you… and need you and care for you… every single day of forever…” Raven’s watery reaction was worth every stumbled word, and Abby cried too, as Raven said those words back to her, holding her like she never wanted to let go.

Even though Abby had promised, sometimes she struggled to keep a few of those promises. Caring for Raven, without it seeming overprotective and oppressive, was a fine line that she just couldn’t seem to master, even months into Raven’s pregnancy. The morning sickness was over, but it wasn’t long after Raven’s hormones stopped making her throw up after virtually every meal, that the late-night cravings began instead. Dutifully, if a little begrudgingly, Abby went out at four in the morning for pickles and hot sauce. She dropped her morning workout routine more than once, in favor of running out early to get bagels with lox and cream cheese. After a maybe a week, she started scheduling longer lunches so she would have time to run food over to Raven when she decided she wanted something crazy for lunch. The day Raven asked for liver and onions for lunch, Abby had to ride to the shop with all the windows down, even with it below freezing outside. The smell was just too much, but when she got to the shop, Raven complained that it was cold. It took a couple of deep breaths, but Abby managed to not snap at Raven, instead asking if Raven wanted something else or if she could just warm it up for her. The soft look that fell across Raven’s face was a welcome sight, and Abby smiled when Raven just tucked into the cold food without another word.

Raven’s eating habits notwithstanding, Abby had other struggles while caring for Raven too. For example, Raven still wanted to do the laundry and the dishes and everything else she’d been doing before, even with her belly getting larger and larger every day. Whenever Abby tried to point out that Raven was supposed to be resting, she always got a nasty look and a sarcastic comment in return. Abby tried to remind herself that Raven wasn’t actually mad at her. She tried to remind herself what it was like, pregnancy hormones raging and crying inside her every second she was awake. She tried to remember that Raven didn’t mean to be cross with her. So, most of the time, Abby just gritted her teeth and took the lead. When they made their way down into the basement to do laundry together, Abby got out in front, thinking at least if Raven fell, she might be able to catch her. She went out and bought a mat for in front of the kitchen sink too. It was one of those that was supposed to be good for standing for extended periods of time. It matched the colors of the tile in the kitchen too, so Abby figured why not give it a shot. If Raven noticed the difference, she didn’t say anything, but Abby had seen the way Raven shifted and squirmed when her hip hurt, and while she was standing on that mat, Raven didn’t seem to shift or squirm nearly as much. Abby figured she could at least count that as a success.

There were other struggles too, like keeping Raven comfortable in bed. It seemed like every night Raven needed something different; Abby, either, propping her up with every pillow in the bed, or allowing Raven to starfish out all over. Keeping up with Raven was a challenge too. The pregnancy hormones were obviously rocking Raven’s world in that department, and a few times it was all Abby could do to satisfy her. She tried to be gentle every time, tried to remember her baby boys in Raven’s belly, but she could tell how badly Raven wanted more, harder, faster. There were a few times when Abby just couldn’t say no. At least on those nights, when Abby let her instincts get the better of her, she tried not to mark Raven up too badly. At their weekly visits, Dr. Walker always noticed anyway though, and of course, she made sure to mention it every time. In fact, Dr. Walker became almost condescending about it, telling Abby that she really should be _more careful_. Abby wasn’t going to take that laying down though, and snapped back at Dr. Walker, saying, “I’m as careful as she’ll let me be, okay? Now, can we talk about something else, please?”

The rest of that visit was rather tense, but Abby wasn’t going to take it back; it was the truth. She could only hold out for so long when Raven was clenching tight around her fingers and crying out for Abby to bite her. Raven made a joke about the whole exchange, as Abby drove her back to the shop to finish her workday, but Abby got snippy with her about it too. She didn’t mean to, obviously, but she still felt sort of raw about the whole thing and couldn’t help herself. At least Raven knew when she’d touched a nerve, and quickly apologized. The heartfelt words drained the annoyance right out of Abby, and she apologized too; twice.

As luck would have it, Raven wasn’t needed at the shop that afternoon after all. It seemed Emori had already finished all her own work for the day and had started in on Raven’s workload to keep herself busy. Raven seemed a little put off by her new employee’s efficiency, but Abby was especially grateful for it. Getting to take Raven home and apologize to her again in the privacy of their bedroom was an especially appealing idea. She wouldn’t mind the opportunity to apologize for the rest of the afternoon, if necessary.

Even with how aggressive Raven seemed to want Abby to be, there were just as many nights where Raven simply let Abby love her, soft and slow all night. Abby relished in those occasions, loving the way pregnancy was changing Raven’s body. It started with just the slightest bit of a curve to Raven’s belly. Just the sight of it reminded Abby of when Raven was in heat; filled so full of her come that Raven’s lower belly had become distended from the sheer volume. That little swollen spot turned Abby on as much as it swelled her heart with pride though, knowing that her babies were growing in there. Then, over time, but just as easily all at once, Raven popped; that gentle, raised curve became as heavy as a bowling ball, but Abby loved that body too. To her credit, Raven was delightedly unashamed of her pregnant body, but Abby figured that telling Raven how beautiful she was every night helped with that.

After that, things seemed so settled and comfortable that when Abby came home one night to find Raven sobbing on the couch, she really should have been expecting it. At first, Abby didn’t have any idea what was going on, only that they’d gotten something in the mail that had upset Raven. That was evident from the crumbled piece of paper clutched tightly in Raven’s hand. Raven wouldn’t let it go either, no matter how Abby gently asked for it. It only took three tries before Abby started to get frustrated, but she knew that Raven’s pregnancy hormones were probably driving her hysteria. She probably wouldn’t get much of anything out of Raven until she calmed down. So, Abby just held Raven as she cried; eventually, crying herself for the day she’d had as well. Two of her patients had became septic after surgery that day, and she’d only managed to save one of them. The death of a patient always made Abby question her choice to become a doctor, but when Raven finally calmed enough to explain why she’d been so upset, Abby really had to question herself then.

Apparently, Cage Wallace hadn’t been satisfied with her performance review, or the autopsy report for his father’s death, and was, in fact, still trying to sue Abby for wrongful death. That new stress, on top of losing her patient, made it hard for Abby to think clearly for a few minutes, but in the end, she remembered that Cage didn’t have much of a leg to stand on. The autopsy had been verified by no less than three of her peers, and she’d had another exemplary performance review since then too. The summons Raven had in her hand would likely be superseded the second Abby called Vincent Vie, but Raven didn’t seem to know that. Abby figured the thing that had really made Raven go super-nova was the number Cage was seeking in damages. The number of zeros made Abby gasp a little bit too; she wouldn’t make that kind of money if she worked another twenty-five years, but as she explained the situation to Raven, that number seemed to matter less and less, until Raven finally let her take the summons from her hand. Abby did call Vincent the next day, and the day after that, she received a registered letter at work, stating that all cases against her had been dropped and to disregard any other communications concerning the matter. She snapped a picture of the letter and sent it to Raven, with a smiley face attached. The text she got in reply made her smile, reading it over a few times to really absorb it. She could almost hear Raven saying it to her; the little emphases Raven would make, the way Raven’s smile would color the words, the simple ‘I love you,’ uttered like it meant more than the world itself.

The next day, that smile got wiped right off Abby’s face. She got to work a little early, needing to look over some paperwork before her first appointment, but she wished she hadn’t when she found Cage Wallace leaned up against her office door, waiting for her. Despite his almost haggard appearance, the first thing Abby thought of was the bright-smiled young man that she had first met; the man who had seemed so confident in her abilities, the man who had been the first to suggest she take Dr. Tsing’s place for his father’s surgery. As hard as she tried to remember who he had been, Abby quickly realized that there wasn’t a single shred of that man left. The Cage Wallace standing in front of her then seemed more like his name implied, looking more like a caged animal instead of a man. His eyes had sort of wild glinting to them, and his lip curled into a snarl the second their eyes met. Abby stopped short at the sound, wondering if he was actually thinking about attacking her, right there in the middle of the hallway. After a moment, he simply gritted his teeth and growled instead, “Dr. Griffin, I’d like a word with you.”

A surprised laugh broke from between Abby’s lips before she could stop it, and she blurted out, “Yeah, that’s not happening…” That snark was something she had definitely picked up from Raven, but when Cage growled again, only louder that time, Abby finally remembered herself. She needed to diffuse this situation, not escalate it. She tried to school her features into a more detached expression as she added, “Anything you need to say to be can be communicated through my lawyer. I believe you already have his number.” She kept her tone as dismissive as she could manage too, hoping that he would take the hint, but he just snarled again and took a step off of the door towards her.

Suddenly, Abby wished that Anya was still working security on her floor, or simply working in the hospital at all, because the way Cage was looking at her, she knew that if she didn’t work fast, there was going to be violence. A roaring voice caught her attention though; a voice calling out, “Ah, Speak Of The Devil!” Abby glanced up over Cage’s shoulder for a second, totally surprised to find Chief Jaha and Anya’s old boss, Cara Byrne, coming around the corner. It was only a few seconds before Byrne was sliding in between Abby and Cage too, standing protectively in front of her as she sternly said, “Mr. Wallace, I’m afraid I’m going to have to escort you from the premises.”

Of course, Cage didn’t seem to like that very much, snarling again as he lunged forward, obviously trying to get around Byrne. He really should have just walked away though. In less time than it took Abby to blink, he was sprawled out on the floor with Byrne standing over him. They struggle for a few moments before Byrne gained control of the situation, forcing his arm up behind his head at an awkward, and probably painful, angle. He didn’t seem to like that very much either, but when he thrashed against Byrne’s hold on his wrist, Abby actually heard the muscles in his shoulder tear and pop. The way it sounded, she figured he’d just torn all the muscles in his shoulder. If the howl of pain he let out was any indication, he’d probably dislocated the joint too.

Thankfully, Cage went mostly limp after that, and Byrne used the lull in activity to call for backup. Maybe only a minute later, two more security guards came rushing down the hallway, probably from the stairwell at the other end. Abby smiled when she saw that one of them was Tris, but she was only able meet Tris’ eyes for just a second before Tris was moving to hoist Cage off the floor. Of course, he didn’t go quietly; the second they started hauling him up he started wailing in pain, causing a huge disturbance. In fact, he caused such a scene that it took Tris and Byrne and the other guard all working together to wrestle him down the hall and out of sight. Jaha finally approached Abby then, saying she could go home for the day if she needed. He even offered to reschedule her surgeries for the day, but Abby refused, knowing that she couldn’t let one crazed, bereaved man disrupt her whole life.

In that same vein, Abby waited to tell Raven about the whole incident, probably a lot longer than she should have. It was maybe a week later, when she finally decided to tell Raven, but as predicted, Raven nearly went through the roof. Abby barely got the words out before Raven screamed at her, “HE DID WHAT?!” A cloud of shock and rage permeated the air too, as Raven hobbled away from her. Abby had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from reaching out for Raven, suddenly desperate to steady them both. She’d expected Raven to be upset, but the look of sheer horror on Raven’s face was crippling. She tried to explain again, tried to downplay the danger she had felt, tried to re-enforce that she was fine. Really, he hadn’t actually done anything except growl at her and step towards her. Jaha and Byrne had already been actively looking for him too. Certainly, they would have found Abby before anything serious could have happened.

There was a point in her explanation where Abby wondered who she was really trying to convince, but after a while, Abby felt Raven’s rage start to subside. Eventually, Raven’s stomach growled too; so loud that neither one of them could ignore it. They ordered take out, mostly because Abby didn’t want to leave Raven alone any longer than necessary. After dinner, Raven finally seemed like she was calm again. So, maybe she was a little more clingy than usual, but of course, Abby didn’t mind the copious amount of couch cuddling that took place. Holding Raven in her arms usually made everything else just fade away, and that night was no exception. They just laid on the couch together in silence for the longest time; that is, until Raven grumbled sleepily, “Hmmfff… bed… n-now.” Abby couldn’t deny she was tired too, but she managed to carry Raven off to bed with only a few stumbled steps along the way. When they finally finagled their way into bed, it was only a few moments before they were wrapped in each other’s arms once again, snoring away.

 

~~~

 

Working for Echo was actually working out for Anya, if only in surprising ways. The first week wasn’t very promising, with just eight people attending her first kickboxing class. After a couple of weeks, word started to get around, and her class’s attendance started to steadily grow. As much as it pained her to admit it, part of ‘word getting around’ was due to a very chatty omega who had shown up on her first day of classes. At first, Anya thought she was just some middle-aged housewife, or maybe an aged trophy wife, but when the woman stuck around after that first class to introduce herself, Anya had to take a moment to adjust. “Diana Sydney, City Council,” was all the woman said, but there was something about the way she announced her title that made Anya’s skin crawl. This was a woman who was obviously used to getting what she wanted, and if the way she was looking at Anya was anything to go by, ‘Diana Sydney, City Council’ wanted her. Anya tried to remain neutral, probably even bordering on impolite, as she shook Diana’s hand, but when she saw a little smirk spread across Diana’s mouth, Anya quickly came up with an excuse to run out. She knew she couldn’t afford to be rude, but she also figured that Octavia would be livid if she caught Anya smelling too much like some other woman.

Of course, Diana Sydney was back the following week, with five of her closest friends. The next week, Anya had another twelve people sign up, all dropping Sydney’s name when they called to reserve a space in Anya’s classes. After another month, Anya had expanded that one class into six, each one with about twenty people enrolled. At least half of those women claimed to be friends with the councilwoman too. Anya thought that most of them were probably friends of friends, or even friends of those friends, but she didn’t put worth much effort into figuring out who was who. That was mostly because the women who Sydney had apparently brought in, all looked at Anya the same way the councilwoman did, like she was a piece of meat ready to be devoured. It made her uncomfortable, but Anya didn’t feel like she could complain either; no one had done anything more than smile and casually flirt with her, so what was the point. There was something about being looked at like that all day that eventually started to make Anya feel sort of crazy though. She tried to focus on the paycheck, and how good her classes were for the business as a whole; making Echo more money, which in turn, made Anya more money too. Still, Anya couldn’t help feeling self-conscious, which was definitely something she wasn’t used to feeling. At one point, it almost got bad enough to make Anya rethink her career change, but at least eventually, Diana figured out that she didn’t have a chance against Octavia.

One night, probably three months into working at Skai’s, Anya found herself sparring with Octavia after everyone else had gone home. Between her classes and training with the other fighters that belonged to the gym, she hadn’t actually had much time to spend with Octavia; doing things that didn’t involve eating or nudity anyway. All it took was one round for Anya to realize how much better Octavia had gotten though, circling her with sure footwork, matching her step for step. Every movement was precise, measured and weighed before it was even made. Octavia floated around her so effortlessly that Anya got caught off guard by several of Octavia’s attacks. It seemed that Octavia had learned how to use the least amount of energy possible to achieve her goals too, and her goals obviously included taking Anya down to the mat as many times as she could. More than once, Anya found herself flat on her back, with Octavia hovering over her in the mount position. Every time, Octavia whispered excitedly into her ear before letting her up; saying things like, “Are you even trying?” and “I make this look easy, don’t I?” Of course, Octavia’s confidence turned Anya on as much as they aggravated her, but with how easily Octavia was handling her, Anya couldn’t really blame her for being a little arrogant.

As it turned out, Anya had been so focused on Octavia, on the strength and beauty that was right in front of her, that she hadn’t even noticed someone else come into the room. It wasn’t long before their private sparring session became more like a performance though. Near the end of their second round, Octavia tried to sweep her legs out from under her, making Anya scramble to keep her balance. Of course, Octavia followed up, pressing her advantage and Anya ended up flat on her back again anyway. When a loud clapping echoed out from one corner of the room, both she and Octavia snapped their heads up towards to the intrusion. There was Diana Sydney then, creeping out of a shadowy corner by the door, calling out, “Well, well… Now I see what all the fuss is about.”

Maybe it was the sneaky entrance, or maybe it was the tone in her voice, but all Anya could think was that those words were meant to be a challenge instead of an acceptance. Of course, she tried to mediate things, quickly introducing Octavia to Diana, making sure she emphasized the word ‘girlfriend’ in their introduction. She almost wished she’d had some other word to use, something that sounded more permanent, but she didn’t want to put Octavia on the spot like that, knowing that any sputtering or confusion on Octavia’s part would probably only make the situation worse. Her emphasis didn’t seem to be enough to deter Diana completely though. Only a few seconds later, Diana turned to her and said, “So, are private sessions something only reserved for your _girl-_ friend here, or do you think we could _work out_ together sometime?”

It wasn’t even close the most brazen thing someone had said to her when trying to get into her pants, but still, Anya didn’t have anything smart to say in reply either. That was alright though, because with the way Octavia snarled, it probably would have drowned her out anyway. It was pretty satisfying to watch; cool, confident ‘Diana Sydney, City Council’ turning into a simpering mess in the blink of an eye. Anya managed to get ahold of Octavia’s wrist before Octavia could actually move towards her, but the effects of Octavia’s aggression were already making magic, as Diana quickly lifted her hands in surrender and took step back. It wasn’t another three seconds before Diana said, “Well, never mind then,” and turned for the door. The whole interaction made Anya worry; she was sure her class attendance was about to take a nosedive, but to her complete surprise, Diana showed up for her usual class at her usual time the following day. Diana hung around at the end class, like she always did, and Anya assumed she was just waiting for a private moment, so she could take another pass at her. Once they were alone though, all Diana had to say was, “Tell your girlfriend I’m sorry about last night… Normally, I know when to keep things ‘look but don’t touch,’ but it’s… it’s just been a rough couple of months…”

There was something in Diana’s tone that made Anya think she was being sincere, and Anya actually felt a little twinge of sympathy for her. She found out later, after a little googling, that Diana Sydney’s husband had been caught participating in an illegal prostitution ring and was facing actual jail time as a result. The speech Diana made after the arrest had been on every local news station; not that Anya had seen it at the time, but that was the beauty of the internet, videos like that had tendency to stick around. Diana had played the dutiful wife, claiming that she loved her husband and that she was going to stand by him in his time of need. Anya respected that, sort of; even if she thought Diana was a little bit insane for sticking with a man who had been intracule in the organization, and day to day running, of the largest illegal sex ring in the city’s history. She decided to try to not get so defensive when Diana flirted with her after that, thinking that a lonely woman like her probably needed a little fantasy in her life. When she told Octavia about her plan, she expected some push back, thinking that Octavia would take her decision as some afront to their relationship. Octavia was surprisingly alright with it though, ultimately saying, “Well, as long as she keeps her hands to herself, and you’re not reciprocating, I can’t really blame her… I mean, you do look hot as fuck in those little work-out shorts you wear.”

Every time they were alone together at the gym proved Octavia’s opinion to be true, and most of the time Anya barely got them behind closed doors before she ended up pressing a needy Octavia up against a wall and shoving a hand down into Octavia’s shorts. It was always little things that got her going too, like Octavia would simply wiggle her hips or bite her lip, and Anya wouldn’t be able to resist. She almost wished she had been able to though, because one night, when Octavia seduced her, in her office, at her desk, they got caught. She’d nearly bitten a hole through her lip trying to be quiet, but with Octavia kneeling under her desk, suckling her clit like it was giving her life, Anya was sure a few noises had slipped out anyway. At least, Echo was pretty casual about the whole thing, pulling Anya aside the next day to say, “I get it, you know… the not being able to keep your hands off each other, but maybe try to keep it a little further away from the potentially-paying customers next time.”

At first, Anya hadn’t really understood what Echo meant by that, but eventually she figured it out. Echo didn’t care if they were having sex at the gym, as long as they didn’t get caught again. She was thankful that Echo had left the ‘don’t let it affect your work’ part of their conversation unspoken, because she respected Echo too much for that. She knew Octavia did too, so when Octavia pulled her into the locker room one morning the following week, Anya didn’t feel guilty about fucking Octavia up against the shower wall. With the door closed and locked, and her hand covering Octavia’s mouth, no one would know; not even the members of her kickboxing class that afternoon, who probably all wished they were in Octavia’s shoes, or lack thereof, as the case may be.

 

~~~

 

As if Clarke didn’t already feel spread thin enough; one day, while she was doing inventory at the art supply store, Niylah approached her with the idea of them opening a new gallery together. The first thing Clarke thought was, _Great, I’m never having sex again._ Just her small gallery series had been enough to cause problems for her and Lexa, and now Niylah wanted her to have enough free time to fill a whole gallery? She wasn’t definitely wasn’t willing to jeopardize what she had with Lexa again. There were some things more important in life than making money. She figured she could at least hear Niylah out about it though; really, she didn’t have much a choice. She still had about a third of the weekly inventory left to do, so it wasn’t like she could just walk away when Niylah started to explain.

Apparently, Niylah wanted her to be the resident artist for the new gallery, with exclusivity; meaning that Clarke would only display her work at their gallery. That sounded alright. At least, she wouldn’t have to try to divide her time and effort between multiple spaces. Filling the entire gallery was a bit daunting, but Clarke thought once she actually got it started, she would only feel the pressure to create when she had an empty spot to fill. It seemed Niylah had an idea about that too though, saying, “Well, how about you do a solo show to start with, and then as space frees up, we’ll invite other artists to show too?” That made even more sense; with responsibility for only one wall, even if it was the largest one in the gallery, Clarke would have time to do pieces to fill the gaps, and still have time to have a life too. It helped that Niylah wasn’t thinking about a large space either; maybe not even as big as the supply store, but with higher ceilings.

The longer Niylah talked and suggested and theorized, the more into the idea Clarke became. If she was exclusively showing at their gallery, her recent popularity would bring people in, so they could help other up-and-comers get their starts too. Managing and curating other people’s work wasn’t something Clarke had ever enjoyed before, but her experiences at Polaris had been good so far. She had lots of new contacts too, after several months of Artist’s Nights at the club. Of course, she had only shown in the first one, but it had been so successful that they’d put on a show once a month since then. Thinking about it then, Clarke found it kind of hard to believe that that first Artist’s Night had been nearly seven months before.

Her own rationalizations only got her so far though, because there were a few things they hadn’t talked about yet, like where were they getting the money to get started or how they would split the profits if things got that far. Again, money wasn’t everything, but she did still need to be able to pay her rent and bills, and maybe eat too. Before meeting Lexa, Clarke probably wouldn’t have even thought about things like profit shares. She probably would have been too excited by the potential to think logically. Rushing into a decision without all the details wasn’t really a good idea. Lucky for her, Clarke had met Lexa and had done more than that too. Some of Lexa’s analytical side had definitely rubbed off on her, and so she said, “Ok, but… where are we getting the money to start all this up? Because I can tell you, I’ve got nothing extra right now…”

Niylah laughed at that, like downright laughed at her, but Clarke couldn’t really blame her; she had just sort of blurted it out without any kind of preface. It seemed had answer though, as she replied, “Well, I’ve already been to the bank to talk with them about leveraging the store, and I’ve got a plan for how to split the profits too…” After that, Niylah’s numbers jargon got a little over Clarke’s head, but eventually, she got the gist. Profits from her own work would be split seventy-thirty, in Clarke’s favor, and then they would each take half of the house’s fifty percent on other artist’s work. That was after all operating costs were paid, of course. Once Clarke got her head wrapped around all that, it actually seemed more than fair.

Naturally, she knew she couldn’t actually make any kind of decision until she’d talked about it with Lexa. A decision like this would affect Lexa as much as it did her, but when Clarke told Niylah as much, she expected a little herding from Niylah in return. She was surprised however, when Niylah simply laughed before she said, “HA!... I don’t expect you to give me an answer today, silly. This is all just an idea right now… Talk to Lexa about it, see what she thinks… maybe she’d even want to DJ at our opening… might be good exposure for the club.”

Laughing along, Clarke had to admit that wasn’t a half-bad hook for Lexa, because anything that was good for the club was good for Lexa. Since Titus had passed, Lexa had been almost obsessed with Polaris’ success, and with good reason. She obviously felt a duty to Titus to uphold his legacy, and that meant pouring her heart and soul into the place that had been his second home for more than twenty years. Clarke appreciated Lexa’s dedication, even if that dedication came some drawbacks. She already didn’t get to see Lexa as much as she wanted to, and this new idea of Niylah’s would probably demand more of her time, but she resolved herself to talk with Lexa about it. The opportunity was just too good to pass up without at least discussing it. She just had to find the right way to bring it up.

And, that’s how she found herself, fidgeting nervously, as they sat on the couch together the next night, eating a late take-out dinner after an evening at Polaris. When they got home, Lexa seemed like she was in such a good mood that nothing would spoil it, but the instant Clarke opened her mouth, saying, “Hey, can we talk about something?” Lexa’s mood dropped. Clarke realized she probably should have phrased it differently if they were both going to make it through this without a fight. Of course, Lexa thought something was wrong, because why wouldn’t she when Clarke had started out like that, but she was quick to try to clarify, adding, “Nothing’s wrong, I promise… I just have something I need to talk to you about… something Niylah mentioned to me yesterday.”

That seemed to soothe Lexa enough for her to at least hear Clarke out, so Clarke rushed into her story, telling Lexa all about the gallery idea. She tried to be as specific as Niylah had been, about the numbers and how she wouldn’t be responsible for start-up costs. She even threw in the Polaris connection for good measure, playing up the idea of making it like a permanent Artist’s Night, with rotating artists, as well as her own work. She tried to make it sound as good as Niylah had, but it seemed she was only partially successful, when Lexa tentatively asked, “So, I guess that would mean no more weekly checks for the supply store? We’d be dependent on sales?”

Clarke hadn’t even thought about whether she would continue working at the store or not, mostly because she assumed that she would be doing a bit of both. She knew there was no way Niylah was going to do the stocking and inventory herself, at least as long as Clarke was still technically working for her in some capacity. There was something hopeful about Lexa’s tone though; a subtlety that made Clarke wonder where the question even came from. It was obvious that there was more to Lexa’s thoughts than that. She needed to get to the root of whatever was under Lexa’s skin about it though, and quickly said, “I would probably still do a few hours a week at the store, but yeah, mostly we’d be dependent on whether my stuff sells or not… Does that bother you?” She sighed as Lexa shook her head, and Clarke worried that Lexa was about to shut down, bottle up her emotions like she sometimes did, but when Lexa looked up at her again, Clarke realized that Lexa’s was crying. It was just one tear; when Lexa cried it was almost never more than that, but the fact that she was crying at all spoke volumes. Clarke tried to back-pedal then, stuttering a bit as she added, “It does… Ok… I mean, I don’t have to do this Lexa… I just wanted to talk about it.”

When Lexa shook her head again, Clarke became confused. Was Lexa still upset, or was she telling Clarke she wasn’t? She didn’t have long to wonder, and she almost sighed when Lexa said, “No, Clarke… I simply want the best for you, what’s best for us…” The dramatic pause that hung in the air then only lasted a second or two before Clarke felt herself smiling instead, Lexa’s next words curling her lips up so much she felt it crinkle the corners of her eyes, “I just kinda thought you wanted to talk about having kids...” Lexa’s almost casual tone sort of blew Clarke’s mind, but she managed to stay focused as Lexa continued, “I thought that maybe we could try on your next heat… With things going so well at the club, and you, with your essentially part-time job, I thought that it was a good time to think about it, but if… if this is what you want… then we can wait.”

The ‘I guess,’ remained unsaid, but Clarke could hear it clear as day. Lexa was unmistakably disappointed, but Clarke didn’t think those two ideas were mutually exclusive. Getting the gallery organized, and open, would take time, and her next heat was still a month away, so she figured they had time to do both, if that’s what they decided to do. It didn’t take Clarke long to realize that that was exactly want she wanted too. She wanted a career where she made things that affected people; enough for them to want to hang it on their wall, but she also wanted a little blonde haired, green eyed boy to share it with too. She wasn’t sure why she pictured that combination, but when she thought about it, she was sure that’s how their first child would look. He would be lean and lanky like Lexa, but with Clarke’s heart. He would have Lexa’s eyes, deep as the forest, but her own wavy blonde hair; the best of both of them.

The idea of having a child was even more appealing when she thought about their son having playmates in the family, as Raven was due to have the twins soon. At best, they would probably only be a year or so apart. She could see it then; their little boy tottering around behind his uncles as they played ‘follow the leader,’ while she and Lexa, and her mom and Raven, sipped wine and made dinner and watched them play together. In that moment, she couldn’t think of anything else she wanted more, even her career. She kissed Lexa then; she couldn’t not. It was slow and sweet at first, but after only a few moments Clarke found herself getting swept up in it. She knew she actually needed to tell Lexa what she was thinking though, so she forced herself to pull away, leaving them both breathless and wanting. She held Lexa’s face in her hands then, as pulled herself together enough to say, “We— we don’t have to wait, Lexa. We can do both… I think we can do anything, as long as we do it together...”

Obviously overjoyed, Lexa swept her completely away then, all the way down the hall and into their bedroom, making love to her until the sun had just started peaking in through the shades. It was slow and sweet like their kiss had been, but Clarke loved it. She loved the way Lexa whispered against the skin of her belly before dipping down in between her thighs. She loved the way Lexa hovered over her, smiling that goofy, love-sick smile, as she gently drove Clarke over the edge with her fingers. Clarke gave as good as she got too, saying things like, “I can’t wait for you to give me a baby, Lexa,” before wrapping her lips around the head of Lexa’s clit and suckling it like she was trying to coax it into extending. She said dirtier things too, like when she straddled Lexa’s face and pulled Lexa into up her sex, whispering, “just think, love… the next time you knot me… you’ll have touched every last inch of me…” She had more to say on that; she wanted to go on and on about it, to tell Lexa how good it felt to think about having her that deep inside her. She wanted Lexa so deep that new life was left behind when Lexa finally pulled away.

Clearly, the few words she had managed to get out had lit some kind of fire inside Lexa though, and Clarke couldn’t resist as Lexa latched on to her clit, sucking like her life depended on it. All Clarke’s muscles locked suddenly, and her belly filled to bursting with the pressure. She was so struck by the sudden force of her orgasm that she faltered, quickly reaching behind her to stabilize herself. When her hands met Lexa’s forearms instead of her hips, Clarke realized that Lexa was pulling at her clit like she wished it would grow right then too. Just the thought of Lexa so desperate to join her in release, sent Clarke tumbling over the edge again, but she thought she did a pretty good job Lexa helping along too, tipping herself forward at the last second and panting, “That’s— it— love… Gr-grow for me… come for me… with me...”

Lexa did, and Clarke did again too before they were well and truly done for the night, or morning as it were, but even when they were both lying on their backs, totally spent, Clarke still couldn’t keep her hands off of Lexa. She drew her fingers lazily over the skin covering Lexa’s abs; she occasionally allowed her fingers to wander down too, just to feel Lexa twitch against her touch. They drifted in and out of sleep, for a while. They drifted in and out of some serious conversations too; Lexa eventually bringing up the idea that they should wait to tell anyone until they were sure Clarke was pregnant. She said she didn’t want other people’s opinions influencing their decision.

With that, Clarke agreed, but she had one stipulation; it was Lexa’s job to break the news to her mom. Lexa accepted that as well, but only if Clarke took on the responsibility of telling Anya and Gustus. Clarke wouldn’t admit it, but even though she enjoyed his sense of humor, Gustus still frightened her a little bit. She figured that was mostly because he looked like he could crush her with one hand if he wanted. She didn’t think he would be upset about the news though, so she easily agreed to that part of Lexa’s ‘counter-offer.’ She wasn’t sure how she would handle telling Anya though. Anya would probably be very pleased, but what if she wasn’t? Clarke had seen a great many things; cute raccoon videos and footage of actual wars, death and life and a lot of things in between, but an angry Anya was something she definitely never wanted to experience. Ultimately, they came to a compromise; Lexa would be there, but Clarke would have to do most of the talking. Clarke thought she could live with that, knowing that Lexa would defend her, even against her own cousin if necessary. Not that Clarke wanted them to fight over her, but she had it if she needed it, and that made all the difference.

All their drifting was eventually interrupted by Clarke’s phone buzzing on the nightstand. She didn’t really want to look at it; she didn’t really want to move at all, but when it buzzed a second time, she finally mustered up the guff to roll over and reach for it. It was a little blurry, trying to focus her phone with sleepy eyes, but when she saw both texts were from her mom, she blinked away the lingering haziness and tried that much harder to focus. She’d been getting regular updates on Raven from her mom, and if what her mom had said was true, the last few weeks of Raven’s pregnancy had been rough, or at least rougher than any of the other weeks before that. So, when her mom texted her, Clarke usually tried to brace herself before opening the messages, wanting to be at least prepared for any bed news. She didn’t think that far ahead that time though and when she finally read, ‘Raven’s in distress,’ and then on the next line, ‘We’re headed for CCMC,’ she felt like she was the one who was the one rushing to the hospital. She dropped her phone in shock, but she was also stumbling out of the bed before she could blink, so fast she nearly tripped and fell.

Lexa’s voice sounded behind her, but Clarke’s head was too full to do much more than make out her mate’s confused tone. She was worried about Raven and worried about her mom and worried about her own future, but when Lexa’s arms wrapped around her from behind Clarke suddenly felt the worries melting away. It still shocked her a little bit that Lexa’s proximity could calm her like that, but at least this once, she didn’t question it. After a couple of deep breaths, she managed to explain why she was panicking, but in True Lexa form, Lexa held her together as they got dressed and made their way down to the car. She didn’t even think about asking to drive; she knew she was in no condition to take other people’s lives into her hands like that anyway. Thankfully, Lexa got them to the hospital in record time; honking and cursing when she needed to, but still, they made it. She realized she was shaking by the time they got into the neo-natal unit’s waiting room, but not nearly as hard as her mother was when Clarke found her huddled in a chair in the corner. Abby looked like she was in physical pain with how hard she was grimacing, and she was ringing her hands and muttering every few seconds too.

There was no other way to describe it; her mom was inconsolable, but that didn’t mean Clarke wasn’t going to try anyway. She let go of Lexa’s hand to put her own on her mom’s back instead, hoping to offer whatever comfort she could. Face tear-stained and hands looking suspiciously pink, her mom rushed into her arms, pulling Clarke tight against her. It wasn’t two seconds before her mom was sobbing into her shoulder, trying to explain and cry at the same time. Clarke get didn’t get much of what Abby was trying to say, but a few words got through, and none of them were good. There was, “b-blood, just so much blood,” and then, “wouldn’t l-let me… st-stay with her…” Abby’s words were all choked, rough and harsh, but it wasn’t long before Clarke heard her whisper, “what… what have I done?” She didn’t justify that with a response, knowing that her mom wouldn’t take any comfort from a pandered reply. She just rubbed her mom’s back through it all, figuring that eventually her mom would tire and calm down. She knew this moment of blind panic wouldn’t last forever, and in the end, it was only maybe five minutes before Abby was slumping back into the seat she had rushed out of, pulling Clarke along with her.

It wasn’t that Clarke didn’t go willingly; she simply hadn’t expected her mom to cling to her so tightly. Not that Clarke blamed her either, especially when, maybe five minutes after that, her mom’s friend Harper came in to give them an update. It wasn’t much, simply, “Raven’s in surgery now, Abby. We should know more in an hour or so,” but the way her mom gripped her hand made Clarke feel like Harper had just condemned Raven to death.

Of course, Harper didn’t stick around for long, excusing herself back to the OR, obviously uncomfortable with the way she and Abby just stared at her. It wasn’t until Harper was completely out of earshot that Abby said anything at all, finally forcing out, “Thelonious told me I wasn’t allowed in the OR… that I couldn’t stay with her… do you know what that means?”

Clarke thought it was a rhetorical question, that her mom had more to say, but when Abby turned to her, with a pleading look in her eyes, Clarke said the only thing she could say, “It’s serious, possibly critical.” They were words she had heard her mother say dozens of times, describing patients or talking about certain situations, but as she said those words, Clarke realized exactly what they meant; Raven could die, could actively be dying. Just the thought of that was too much for her, and Clarke fell apart then too, crying herself as she wrapped her own sobbing mother into her arms once again.

The first hour was a blur, mostly spent crying and worrying. The second wasn’t much better either; the only break in the monotony was brought on by Octavia and Anya’s arrival in the waiting room. It felt good to see them, to have someone else to focus on for a few minutes, but by the third hour of waiting, a strange calm had settled over all of them. Her mom finally seemed to come back to herself enough to make rational thought too, as she said, “It’s a good sign… the third hour. It means she’s still fighting in there.” Clarke appreciated the confidence and the hopefulness, but she didn’t let it take root, not until she saw Harper coming back into the waiting room with a huge smile on her face.

All the other times Harper had come out to give them an update her face had seemed almost sullen, but the drastic change in her expression gave Clarke a massive boost of faith. Obviously not wanting to mince words, Harper marched right up to them and said, “She’s out of surgery, not awake yet, but she’s resting comfortably… You can see her in another hour or so.” It was pretty obvious that wasn’t everything though, as Harper tittered back and forth excitedly on the balls of her feet. Thankfully, Harper didn’t hold her cards very close to her chest, quickly spilling out, “But, in the meantime… Would you like to meet your sons?”

Clarke was up almost as fast as her mom, hugging her briefly, before following Harper out of the waiting room. They could only go back three at a time, so Octavia and Anya volunteered to stay behind in the waiting room, allowing Lexa to follow, as they made their way down, not one, but two hallways. Both had restricted access signs posted on the walls, but Harper didn’t bat an eye as she led them along. When she stopped in front of a door, Clarke noticed the label outside read NICU. There was a hand washing station directly underneath the sign too, but Clarke didn’t have to be told twice. She simply got in line behind her mom and waited to wash up. Once they were all clean, Harper ushered them through the door, and down a row of glass-dome-covered bassinets. It all looked like something out of a science fiction movie, with tubes and pumps and beeping machines all over, but as her eyes fixed on the last two bassinets at the end of the row, she instantly spotted the name Griffin-Reyes written proudly along the top of both charts. She let her mom approach first, knowing better than to get in between them at the moment. It was such a relief to see her mom so relieved, that Clarke didn’t mind waiting a few minutes to properly meet her new brothers. She’d have the rest of her life to get to know them anyway.

 

~~~

 

There was no other way to look at it: Spring semester was a bitch. Things got so bad with Professor Pike that Octavia eventually had to drop his class altogether. The worst part of that was, while it was only a science elective and she didn’t need that specific class to graduate, she did nearly lose her scholarship over it anyway. It took a lot careful politicking with the Dean’s office, but she managed to work it out with them to make the class up over the summer with a different elective. Of course, that would screw her out of the pro-soccer internship she was banking on for the summer, and she’d have to pay for the dropped class out-of-pocket, and the make-up class as well. Luckily, at least the money wasn’t an issue; she’d just signed a small endorsement contract the week before, with a little online start-up that made specialized work-out wear. She’d been sort of looking forward to taking Anya away for the weekend when she got that check, but she guessed Anya taking her all weekend would have to wait instead. Her other classes weren’t as bad, but it was still hard trying to juggle her classes and her study time with her training time and her Anya-time.

Having Anya around Skai’s all the time helped with that though. If she wanted to spar, Anya was pretty much always there, ready to wrap up her wrists and go a few rounds. That is, until Anya’s classes got so popular that she wasn’t always available anymore. Octavia was happy for Anya, of course, proud too, but when Anya’s class load tripled in only three months, their together time suffered. Funny enough, when Anya was busy, Octavia found herself sparring with Ontari instead, and as Ontari’s confidence began to return, she found herself on the losing end of things more often than she cared to admit. She tried not to let it get her down; Ontari was a hell of a fighter, but really, there was nothing like getting her ass kicked to make her ass hurt.

There were still times where she got the better of Ontari too, pinning her to the mat or getting Ontari with a clever arm bar, but those moments never seemed to last long enough to make Ontari to tap out. Every time they were in the ring together, Octavia could tell she was getting better though. She tried to remind herself that that was the whole point of sparring too; Practice makes Perfect. Apparently, Octavia wasn’t the only one who had noticed her improvement either, as Echo approached her after three long rounds, saying, “Now, aren’t you glad you stayed to hear Ontari out?” Octavia agreed, somewhat begrudgingly, figuring Echo had every right to be smug about it; she was right, after all.

Anya working at Skai’s full time helped Octavia with other things too, like any time she got hot under the collar, Anya was never far away when she needed a fix. That was pretty much what Anya’s touch felt like to Octavia too; a habit she never wanted to give up, an addiction. Of course, it didn’t really take much to convince Anya to take her up against the wall in the locker room shower or lay her out on one of the locker room benches either. Most of the time all she had to do was look at Anya, and then the chase was on. They had even forayed out of the locker rooms a few times too, mostly at Octavia’s prodding, but if Anya was upset, Octavia certainly didn’t hear her complaining. Seducing Anya, in her office, not ten feet away from the front desk, was a lot of fun, and they’d gone a few rounds in the ring too.

Being at Anya’s mercy in the middle of a semi-public space was exhilarating in a way that Octavia just couldn’t describe. Thinking about getting caught was one thing; a turn on to be sure but imagining someone actually watching them was mind blowing. She always came so hard when Anya tapped into that fantasy too; Anya whispering harsh little encouragements into her ear, saying things like, “I wonder what Ontari would do if she walked in and saw me taking you like this? Do you think she’d stay to watch? You’d want her to stay, wouldn’t you, baby girl?” Just those little glimpses into exhibitionism sparked things inside Octavia too; things she hadn’t ever considered before. Her imagination didn’t get too far though, she was so mortified by Echo actually overhearing them that she didn’t pursue that train of thought for very long. To make matters worse, it seemed Echo had been on the phone the night Octavia had seduced Anya in her office, so, it was likely whoever Echo had been talking to had heard them too.

It was a week and a half later, when she was coming out of the locker room, clean and refreshed after yet another shower with Anya, that Octavia realized who Echo had been talking to on the phone that night. She tried not to blush when she rounded the corner into the lobby, spotting Echo just as she came out of her office. That blush deepened when she finally saw who was with Echo though; a face Octavia hadn’t seen in more than three years, her old mentor and trainer, Indra Ashe. Her embarrassment turned to utter humiliation when Echo glanced back over her shoulder at Indra and said, “Thanks for coming all the way down here, Indra. Too bad we couldn’t have just finished this on the phone the other night, but this was good too, right? I mean, obviously better for some than for others, but I think we’ll all work together quite well, don’t you?”

It was a solid week after that before Octavia would let Anya anywhere near her, at least while they were at the gym together. They spent plenty of quality time at home instead. Three bedrooms meant that they had one bedroom for just sleeping; which admittedly, they rarely _just_ slept in. They used Clarke’s old room for their home gym, which Octavia hemmed and hawed over anytime she thought about it. The third bedroom though, they never actually slept in it at all. The first time Anya told her to strip off all her clothes and go to the _playroom_ , Octavia had almost embarrassed herself with her own confusion. When Anya led her into her old room, and she saw her old bed frame, Octavia instantly understood. Of course, Anya had the replaced the mattress, and Octavia noticed several other ‘improvements’ Anya had made too.

The first thing she noticed were the O-shaped rings that had been welded onto the frame, along the headboard and the footboard. There were horizontal, more-oval shaped rings that had been added along the side rails too. Octavia didn’t need an explanation to know what those were for, but she still shivered when Anya leaned in close to her ear and husked, “The better to tie you down with, my dear…” Anya made good on the promise in her voice that night, tying Octavia down so tight that she could hardly move at all. Not that she’d wanted to; not with Anya’s face buried between her folds, licking and sucking and biting her until she couldn’t take anymore. When Anya escorted her towards the playroom again the next night, Octavia was more than willing to experiment further, practically begging Anya to go harder. When Anya came back from the closet that night with two sets of handcuffs in one hand and her glass dildo in the other, Octavia thought if she was dreaming, she never wanted to wake up.

The experiments didn’t stop there either. Maybe two weeks later, when Anya sent her to pick something out for them, Octavia eagerly ran back towards the playroom. There was something she had been wanting to try for a while, but she hadn’t figured out bring it up. She didn’t think there was a way to casually say, ‘Hey, do you wanna put something in my butt?’ without it sounding crass. So, she’d been bidding her time on it; waiting for the perfect opportunity. A few minutes later, when Anya came into the playroom wearing her briefs-style harness and nothing else, Octavia shivered at the thought of Anya claiming her that way. Anya didn’t play into every fantasy she had about it though, suggesting they try something small and stationary for their first anal sex adventure. Octavia had been disappointed at first, but when she realized Anya was still going to fuck her with the strap-on, while the plug filling up her ass too, Octavia thought she had died and gone to heaven.

Maybe, it was the distractingly overwhelming fullness; maybe, it was the way Anya rocked into her so tenderly, even as her hand pushed and twisted the base of the plug; maybe, it was the absolutely debauched things Anya whispered in her ear. Whatever it was, when Octavia finally released that night, she came so hard she thought she’d never recover. Her mind drifted as she tried to catch her breath, and she couldn’t help but imagine the plug in her ass as someone else pushing inside her while Anya drove into her as well. Just the thought of it made her blush, but as always, at least in moments like these, Anya already knew what she was thinking, whispering into her ear as she pulled the plug out, “Don’t worry, baby girl… Even if I shared you, you’d still be mine.”

Those words inspired all sorts of questions; ones that Octavia eventually powered through. She figured if Anya was bringing up something like that, there had to be a reason. When it turned out that there wasn’t a reason, not a bad one anyway, Octavia still didn’t know what to think. Anya’s suggestion was fairly simple; she merely thought they would both enjoy a little predetermined exhibitionism. Maybe, it would go a little further than that too, but Anya was leaving that line totally up to her. The longer Octavia thought about it, she more appealing the idea became; she realized an extra set of hands could probably go a long way, for both of them. She knew it wasn’t quite that simple though. She still felt a little insecure about sharing Anya, wondering if maybe she just wasn’t enough for Anya, and that was why Anya was suggesting they invite someone into their playroom. When Octavia brought that up though, Anya nipped that in the bud pretty quickly, sternly telling her that whoever they brought in would be for Octavia’s pleasure only.

After that, it took Octavia a lot longer than it should have to realize that it was Anya who thought she wasn’t enough for her. They decided together then; if they were going to do this, if they were going to invite a third into their bed, they had to choose someone who would work for both of them. They needed someone who wasn’t interested in getting between them, but who wouldn’t mind finding themselves in that position either. The list of choices was unsurprisingly short; only one name was even mentioned, but once they’d decided, a whole new set of challenges presented themselves. How did they get someone interested in a casual thing with the both of them? How did they keep it causal if things went well and they all agreed on a repeat performance? In the end, would they lose a friend, or gain something totally different, from the whole experiment? There was obviously only one way to find out; Octavia just hoped she didn’t chicken out, because the thought of two sets of hands, two sets of lips, two sets of teeth, never failed to make her ruin her underwear.

It seemed that, for a while anyway, just the mere fantasy of what could be, was enough. And, for that while Octavia was just fine with that. She was already coming her brains out anytime she thought about it. It got to the point where Octavia was actually afraid that the real thing wouldn’t live up to her imagination. She eventually let Anya in on those feelings too; one night, cuddled up in bed after a particularly rough scene. Anya was beyond understanding, as always, telling Octavia in no uncertain terms, “We’ll do whatever you want, baby… I figured you knew that by now. Everything I do is to please you…” Of course, Anya’s words bolstered her courage, and when her birthday finally rolled around, Octavia knew exactly what she wanted: a night in their playroom; just her, and Anya, and their invited guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Did I make you cry? Did I make you happy? Did I make you mad? Yell at me in the comments, or shoot me a message on Tumblr... [My Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nottilitsfinished)


	41. The Finale

After the twins were born, it was a full week before Raven was actually released from the hospital. That was mostly because Abby insisted that she stay for observation, but at least on the first day, Raven wasn’t in much of a state to argue. Once the pain medications wore off though, she was pretty much miserable. Being trapped in her hospital bed all day drove her crazy, especially after the three weeks before that, where she had been pretty much stuck in bed at home instead. Luckily, it was only one day of that misery before things started to get better. She was allowed up for short walks down the hall, and to go to the bathroom on her own, which was a drastic improvement over the catheter and bedpan. Not that she didn’t enjoy relieving herself whenever she felt like it, but there was something to be said for having a little privacy too. On the third day, her mood improved further when her boys were brought in to stay in her room with her. They looked like high-tech, test-tube babies, protected by their little glass-domed pods, being fed by tubes and hooked up to beeping machines. Raven tried not to think about why they were in those pods, why they were attached to those machines.

Having a lot of visitors helped with that. In fact, Abby barely left at all, only long enough to grab some clothes and something eat each day. Clarke and Lexa came by almost every day too; sometimes, it was only for a few minutes, but other times, they stayed for hours, just chatting and watching TV and cooing over the twins. Octavia and Anya visited a few of times as well, both together and separately. Octavia visited more often than Anya, obviously, but even when it was just Anya, Raven certainly didn’t mind the company. Even Wick and Bellamy and Lincoln had all managed to stop by one or twice over the course of the weekend; Bellamy and Lincoln only stayed for a few minutes each time, but when Wick dropped by, he usually hung around for much longer. She had a few visitors she wasn’t expecting too, like Abby’s new protégé, Harper, stopped by for at least a few minutes every day. The nurse always tried to make it look like she was doing something official, but Raven could see right through her excuses. Harper was obviously using her job to ‘check-up’ on Abby. Raven didn’t blame her though; sleeping in the chair next to Raven’s bed every night was definitely taking its toll on Abby. Abby never complained, of course, but Raven knew her neck had to be stiff as a board from sleeping mostly upright all the time. Abby’s boss came by a couple of times too, but he was just like Harper, clearly only there to check in with Abby. His visits were more official because he and Abby actually talked about work for a few minutes before his questions turned towards the twins, but that didn’t bother Raven really; she was just happy that people at the hospital liked Abby well enough to make time to come see them at all.

Despite the number of people moving in and out all the time, happy visitors and prodding nurses, there were still hours and hours of down time; time spent doing nothing but staring at her babies. Being able to see them, and watch them move and squirm and eventually cry, was awesome, but not being able to comfort them or hold them, was almost like torture. After four days though, _four long days_ , she was actually allowed to touch them. She barely stroked their little bald heads, and they gently held her fingers in their tiny hands, and she laid her hands on their chests and felt them breathe. Their skin seemed so fragile; velvety soft but also noticeably thin, like if Raven touched them too hard, she might actually end up leaving a bruise. Still, it was everything, just feeling them live against her own skin.

Later that day, when she was finally discharged, she did the hardest thing she would ever have to do. She left her little boys behind. The NICU nurse assured her that little Jacob, and his slightly bigger brother, Dominick, would be fine, but that didn’t mean Raven wasn’t going to worry her head off about them. It turned out that going home had some perks though, like getting to sleep in her own bed. She didn’t think it would feel so good, after having spent so much time in that bed over the last month and a half of her pregnancy, but it was a damn sight better than her hospital bed, that was for sure. Eating whenever, and whatever, she wanted was a plus too; especially because she didn’t have worry about whether the twins were in the mood spicy curry or pickles and ice cream. She visited the hospital every day, most days just riding in with Abby when she went to work and staying by the twins until Abby was finished for the day. Of course, Abby hated that she had to work when Raven got to spend all day with Jake and Nick, but Raven always made sure that Abby got at least a few minutes with them before they left to go home each night.

It was three full weeks, of petting her boys through their portholes, before they were finally strong enough to be released from their little pods. When Raven picked them up and held them for the first time, she thought she would never be able to put them down. Listening to them coo and cry, without a piece of glass separating them, was incredible and overwhelming. Still, she knew she would have to leave the hospital without them; Dr. Walker wanted to them to stay for at least another week, again for observation. The longing stung like a fire burning through her veins as she walked back to the car that day, knowing that her babies were in that hospital, probably sleeping or spitting up or getting changed, innocently existing, and she was missing it. Abby was there for her though, coaching her through the pain, murmuring little reassurances with each step they took together, telling her that Jake and Nick were getting stronger every day and that it was only a matter of time. It was of little comfort, but Abby’s words were enough to keep Raven calm all the way home. She even managed to get some sleep that night, but that was mostly because she knew; the faster she fell asleep, the sooner she would be back with her boys.

Abby was right too; every day, Jake and Nick got bigger and stronger, heavier and longer, until finally, six long weeks after they’d been cut out of her body, Raven got to take them home with her. The whole way out of the hospital, and through the parking lot, Raven was petrified that something would happen. She worried that she would drop one of them or she would trip and fall on top of one of them, but as she watched them settle into their car seats, swaddled up in their little blankets, she realized that they were as safe as they could be, and honestly, that was the best she could ask for, given that she was lucky to have them at all. The rest of the trip home was slightly less nerve wracking after that, but it wasn’t until she and Abby were settling them into their cribs that she finally began to really relax.

They’d moved Abby’s desk and computer and such to Clarke’s old room on the second floor, and then set up Abby’s old office as the nursery. It was right down the hall from their bedroom, so it was convenient when the boys woke them up in the night. Getting up every hour and a half or so, to feed them or change them, didn’t seem like such a hardship; it felt too good to be able to touch them and hold them whenever she wanted to be a burden. That is, until she’d been doing that for a few weeks. Of course, Abby had offered to help, saying that they could alternate night-time feedings, but Raven knew that Abby was already tired from being back at work and didn’t need to up all night with her and the boys. Abby was busier than she normally would have been too, after having taken off the whole week Raven had been in the hospital, so Raven tried to keep up with the boy’s schedule as best she could.

It helped that Abby had had a kitchenette built into the room across the hall from the nursery. It used to be more of a storage closet, so the space was fairly small, but there was enough room and equipment to allow Raven to make bottles of formula without having to go all the way downstairs to the kitchen. There was a two-burner stovetop, a sink with filtered water, and a small cabinet to store clean bottles and nipples. The convenience only helped so much though, and after a month of up-all-night feedings, and then up-all-day feedings as well, Raven finally caved, waking Abby at three in the morning when the boys needed to be changed and then fed, yet again. She felt like a bad mother for not being able to keep up, but Abby just kissed her and smiled at her as she got out of the bed to go look after the boys. It was the smile that told Raven how happy Abby was that she was actually getting to help, and suddenly, Raven didn’t feel quite so guilty anymore.

They did alternate night-time care after that and getting three or four hours of sleep at a clip improved Raven’s exhaustion, exponentially. It was only two days before she felt she had a lot more energy during the day, which was good because the boys were getting more active too, wiggling and crying in their rockers whenever they felt the urge. That wasn’t so bad though, because with both of them settled in against her, cradled in her arms, they quieted every time. Just being able to hold them never got old. True, sometimes she had to listen to one, or both of them, scream as she made up their bottles of formula, or when she had to put them down to pee or wash her hands or something, but she didn’t mind that so much either. She knew that all they were crying out for was more of her warmth. She had thought it would be harder, caring for them non-stop, but whenever it got stressful or overwhelming, she tried to remind herself of how she had almost lost them, and then the screaming and crying got that much easier to deal with.

If there was one thing Raven could complain about, it was her lack of human interaction; at least, adult interaction anyway. Of course, she and Abby talked in the evenings, but even then, all they talked about was what the boys had done that day. Not that Raven minded filling Abby in on the things she’d missed throughout the day, but after only two weeks of being at home, just her and the boys most of the time, Raven found she was talking to herself as much as she talked to anyone else. The habit became a bit excessive too; to the point where Raven realized she was essentially narrating her whole life. The worst part was that she hadn’t even noticed she was doing it; that is, until one night when Abby pointed it out, calling out to her from the bathroom, “Honey? What’d you say?”

Raven thought she’d only being thinking the words, ‘You put your right leg in, you put your left leg in, and then pull up…’ but with Abby’s question hanging in the air, she quickly realized she’d been describing putting on her pajamas out loud. Admittedly, her sleepwear wasn’t much, just a pair of soft shorts and a tank top, but she’d been talking about it like she was making a complicated how-to video. It was like a slap in the face, recognizing how crazy she must sound, but she recovered fairly quickly, calling back simply, “It’s nothing, Abs. Don’t worry about it… I was just thinking out loud.” Of course, when Abby came back from the bathroom, smiling like she knew there was more to it, Raven just shook her head and spit it out, “I think I need to get out of this house, or have friends over or something… I feel like I’m going a little crazy stuck here by myself all day.”

A brief look of guilt passed over Abby’s face, but before it could really take hold Raven reached out and took Abby’s hand, wanting Abby to know she hadn’t meant that the way it had come out. Of course, Raven didn’t hold it against Abby that she was back at work; one of them had to be out making them some money. It seemed Abby understood that too, replying softly, “Well, I think I might have an idea about how to help with that.” Abby’s tone was still a little uncertain, a little tentative, but when Raven smiled at her, some of Abby’s confidence seemed to return as she continued, “So, Anya came and met me for lunch today… She’s trying to plan a surprise party for Octavia’s birthday. She originally said she wanted to do it at Polaris, full-circle and all that… but I thought maybe we could have it here instead. She seemed all for it, as long as that was alright with you… kinda feels like perfect timing, right?”

In all honesty, Raven could barely remember what day of the week it was, much less what day of the month, but as she went through the days in her head, she realized that Octavia’s birthday was only about a week away. She wasn’t sure she could make it another week and keep her sanity, but she figured she could invite Clarke to come over one day, if for no other reason than to show her how big her brothers were getting. Maybe she could even convince Wick to come over one day after work; maybe tempt him with a homecooked meal. Then, she could get all little time with her friend and an update on the shop at the same time. Her silence must have gone on too long though, because Abby really tried to drive the idea home when she blurted out, “And… I thought we could get someone to baby-sit the boys… you know, so we can cut loose a little too. I figured you’d want a drink or two, especially considering they’d be the first you’ve had in months…” Raven definitely liked that idea, but she was also instantly worried about who they would leave in charge of their children, their precious boys. It seemed Abby had an answer for that too though, when she added with some finality, “Harper’s boyfriend’s brother is studying to be a prenatal nurse and probably could use the extra cash. I’ve met him too, seemed like a good kid.”

Not knowing what else to say, Raven joked, “Well, have you thought of everything?” She figured Abby would flounder a little in the face of her teasing, but what she wasn’t expecting was for Abby to press in close to her side and whisper, “If you mean, did I already call him to ask him if he was interested in an _overnight_ baby-sitting job… then yes, I did think of everything…” Raven couldn’t help the way she swooned then, just at the thought of a few hours of uninterrupted alone time with Abby. It had certainly been a while, now that Raven was thinking about it, almost six months really. Being on doctor-recommended bed rest hadn’t meant she got orgasms anytime she wanted them, and then after the boys had been born, her c-section incision had interfered heavily in their sex life too. Her stomach was pretty much healed though, even if the muscles underneath weren’t quite back to normal. With the boys off her mind for the moment, Raven felt a sudden rush, thinking there wasn’t much to stop her from initiating something with her mate right then.

Almost as if on cue, the baby monitor sounded out behind her, the air filling with sounds of gurgling and cooing; obviously, someone was trying to get comfortable. She knew that after a minute or two, there would probably be fussing and then crying; and that, was exactly why Raven couldn’t try to seduce Abby. Why start something she probably wouldn’t be able to finish? Why start something that was only going to leave them both more frustrated than they already were? Instead, Raven simply pressed up onto her toes, bringing her lips to Abby’s for a moment, before pulling away to say, “Then you did think of everything, and I’m glad… but, I wanna meet this kid beforehand too.” Abby’s laughter was like music to Raven’s ears, but of course, one of the boys did get fussy then; Raven thought it was Jake from the sound of it. She was a little disappointed that she had to send Abby to bed alone, but she knew it would be alright though. She had things to look forward to; a party with her friends and after-party with Abby. It sounded like exactly what Raven needed.

Meeting Harper’s boyfriend’s brother, Jordan Green, went well too, as Abby had predicted. He was nice and polite, and he was well-dressed and clean. He seemed genuinely excited about getting to spend an evening caring for two infants, which sort of made Raven think he might be a little crazy, but she didn’t let that stop her from agreeing to let him babysit for Octavia’s party. He gave her and Abby both a little smirk when she mentioned him staying the night, but Raven wasn’t ashamed about it, she was too excited to have Abby, preferably naked and sweaty and up against her, to be shy about what she wanted. She certainly wasn’t going to let a nineteen-year-old omega make her feel guilty about wanting to spend a little alone time with her mate, especially not when it had been as long as it had been.

The next day she got Anya’s number from Abby, a marvel really that she hadn’t already had it, but she guessed she’d never really needed it before. Usually, she did all her communicating with Octavia, and if Raven needed Anya to know something, Anya would get her information secondhand, but that wouldn’t really work if they were actually trying to keep the party a surprise. She wracked her brain trying to remember what Octavia had told her about her class schedule and waited to text Anya until she thought O would be in class. Her text wasn’t much, simply, ‘Need help?’ but she figured if she was wrong about O’s schedule, and O managed to catch a glimpse of her text on Anya’s phone, then Anya could find some way to play off the vague question. She got a response quickly enough though, her phone ringing a minute or two later. She shifted Jake into his rocker to answer it, settling him in next to his brother before bringing her phone to her ear, already saying, “Hey,” before the call had actually connected.

Anya’s greeting was just as quick too, before she rapidly fired off a few ways Raven could help, saying, “I’ve already got the decorations in my trunk. I can swing by the hospital and hand them off to Abby. Maybe the two of you could put them up? I’ve got plates and cups and napkins and stuff like that you guys could store too. Abby said you’re going a little nutty, still being home bound with the boys, so maybe you could talk her into watching them long enough to go booze shopping for me too. I’d do it myself, but I’m not sure I can get away long enough. Octavia’s… _Octavia,_ you know? If I deviate too far from the norm, she’ll know something is up. Plus, Ontari’s got a fight week after next and she’s a bit freaked about it…”

It was a lot to take in, but Raven managed to keep up, thinking she could absolutely use the excuse to leave the house, and it wouldn’t be hard to convince Abby to look after the boys; Abby would probably be delighted to get to spend an evening just her and her babies. Putting up the decorations wouldn’t be any problem either, even if Raven had to do them all herself. Jake and Nick had started taking longer naps in the afternoons, and that usually left Raven with a little extra time on her hands. Normally, she used that gap to nap too, but she figured she’d have plenty of time to put up the decorations, and maybe even, clean up a little as well. She knew there was a large colony of dust bunnies lurking just under the edge of the couch. Maybe she could talk Abby into getting a cleaning service to come by and help out. If nothing else, they could do the floors, which was a rough job for Raven to do on a normal week, much less with her stomach muscles still healing. Pushing their large vacuum around was something Raven definitely wasn’t looking forward to doing.

Realizing Anya was still waiting for some kind of response, Raven quickly relayed her thoughts; or at least, the less crazy ones anyway. Anya seemed relieved too, letting out a long sigh, but the rest of their conversation was abruptly cut short when Anya took on a business-like tone as she said, “Yes, I have an opening for two more in Thursday’s tactics class… Ok, sounds good. I’ll see you both then.” The line went dead a moment later. Not that Raven was upset; obviously, Octavia had just walked in. Raven was actually impressed by Anya’s aptitude for subterfuge, thinking maybe they would actually be able to keep their surprise party a surprise after all.

It turned out that Raven didn’t have to put up all the decorations by herself either; Clarke and Lexa showed up the next morning, pretty much out of the blue. At least, Clarke had had the good sense to text her when they were downstairs, instead of ringing the bell. Raven was only halfway down the stairs when she heard the front door open though. When she reached the last landing, she found Clarke and Lexa standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her. They both had big smiles on their faces, and Clarke was jingling a set of keys at her. Raven smiled back at them for a moment before Lexa said, “Sorry to just barge in on you… Abby called and said you might need some help putting up the decorations for O’s party. Knowing Anya, she probably went a little overboard.”

That was an understatement; Abby had had to make four trips in from the car the night before, just to get it all inside. There were a couple of boxes filled with streamers and tinsel, and a big banner that needed to be hung, and a freaking pinata that Raven didn’t have any idea what they were going to do with. Not to mention the boxes full of paper products that Anya had bought; cups, plates, bowls, napkins, and even, plastic cutlery, all in matching shades of red. As much as Abby struggled getting it all inside, with Clarke and Lexa’s help, the decorating itself went pretty fast. Of course, there was a point when Raven had to leave Clarke and Lexa to their own devices. When the boys woke up from their afternoon naps, they were instantly grumpy. Not that Raven blamed them; they’d slept even longer than she thought they would, so surely, they were just hungry. After feeding and changing them both, she brought them downstairs with her. She was a little surprised to find Clarke and Lexa rigging up a short rope in the townhouse’s tiny backyard, but she figured it was probably for the pinata. She couldn’t deny that she felt a little sheepish for not thinking of that herself, but when Clarke and Lexa finished and turned towards her, both with big smiles on both their faces again, she realized she couldn’t really care whose idea it was, as long as it got done.

Once they were back inside, Clarke and Lexa attacked the banner next, stringing it up through the living room with some cooking twine from the kitchen; obviously not it’s intended use, but it worked. Mostly, Raven just watched them work, taking turns between holding the boys and helping her friends figure out if the banner was hanging level or not. She mostly watched as Clarke and Lexa put up the streamers and tinsel as well, because every time she went to put one of the boys down, the other would be ready for some attention instead. Clarke and Lexa didn’t seem to mind though, working and chatting and laughing, and for the first time in a while, Raven felt like even though everything had changed in the last year, it really hadn’t either; there were just more people for her love now, not just O and Clarke, but a whole family’s worth of people, and it seemed just as many of those people loved her in return.

After the decorating was done, Clarke and Lexa hung around for a while, sitting in the living room with her and the boys, talking and taking turns holding them. Raven could swear that every time Clarke held one of her brothers, Clarke was watching him with distant eyes, like she was seeing some other baby in her arms. If Raven had three guesses as to what that was about, the first one would be the only one she would need. It was pretty clear that Clarke was imagining her own baby there in front of her, and it was obvious that Lexa noticed it too, making some soft excuse whenever Clarke got distracted. It seemed like Lexa was just as easily distracted whenever Jake or Nick was in front of her though, and Raven couldn’t help wondering how far they had gotten with having one of their own. She knew better than to put them on the spot by asking; even amongst family, some things were private. Clarke and Lexa would tell her when they were ready to, so Raven decided that, at least for the time being, she would just let them daydream as if she was none-the-wiser of what they were really thinking about when they looked at her boys.

It was late afternoon by Clarke and Lexa finally left, and Raven was left with two sleepy babes and very little energy herself. She powered through though, thinking she would try to get some kind of dinner together and in the oven, and then clean up a bit while it baked. She’d been wanting to try to make Abby’s lasagna recipe, thinking Abby would enjoy it a lot more if she didn’t have to take all the time to make it, and she figured that with forty-five minutes to bake, that would give her time to dust and maybe clean the first-floor bathroom before Abby got home. Putting the lasagna together took almost an hour, but the dusting took all of five minutes. Raven just sort of ran the duster over the shelves in the living room without moving anything. It was the quick and dirty way to dust, but Raven figured it looked clean enough. It seemed as though it had been a while since she or Abby had cleaned the bathroom, however. The sink needed to be wiped down twice just to get all the dust off, and it was the same with the toilet and the door to stand-up shower.

Before Raven even realized how long she had been at it, the boys were screaming their heads off. That was probably because the fire alarm in the kitchen was screaming too. There was only a moment of absolute panic in Raven’s heart before her instincts took over, and then the only thing she could think about was getting to her boys and making sure they were safe. She moved as fast as she could back to the living room, only having to cross through the entryway to get there. When she turned the corner into the room, the wailing of the fire alarm almost blotted out the sound of her sons, but Raven focused on the sounds of their cries and followed them right to their rockers. She scooped up Nick first, because he was closest, but just as she got him settled against her chest, she caught the smell; a thick acrid burning, and it was only getting stronger. She frantically turned to the kitchen, only to immediately spot smoke billowing out the top of the oven door.

Her instincts forced her into action then too, and she almost tripped over her own feet trying to get back to the stove. She slammed the oven dial into the off position so fast she heard it crack when it hit its stop, but she didn’t really care about the fucking dial though; she needed to get the lasagna out of the oven. She had to get it out of the heat. She had just enough sense left to check through the door to see if there were actual flames inside, and when she didn’t see any, she quickly slid her free hand into an oven mitt before wrenching the door open. A huge cloud of smoke rolling out into her face, and she shielded Nick as best she could with her body as she reached inside the oven. The thumb of the oven mitt sunk into the dish as she got ahold of it, but she managed to pull it out before the heat got through the material. She pushed the dish onto the stovetop a second later, and then quickly threw off the soiled mitt.

Her thumb felt warm like she’d probably burned it anyway, but she didn’t have the headspace to think about that for long. She still had the lasagna to deal with. The cheese on the top was black and smoldering, and Raven figured another minute or two in the oven and it probably would have actually been on fire. Again, Raven didn’t think about that for more than a second, before she was grabbing a dish towel off the counter. After maybe a minute of fanning the top of the stove, Raven sighed when the fire alarm finally fell silent again. Nick quieted a few moments later, though he still seemed a little upset, squirming against her side. If the sounds coming from the living room were anything to go by, Jake was calming too, but Raven knew better than to stop her fanning motion with her other arm. If the fire alarm went off again, surely, Nick and Jake would both start screaming again too, and Raven just wasn’t sure how much more of that sound her heart could handle; the muscle was already pumping so fast it almost hurt anyway.

 

~~~

 

After watching Clarke hold her brothers all day, Lexa felt like she couldn’t wait for Clarke’s next doctor’s appointment. The first one, the implant removal, she hadn’t been allowed to accompany Clarke to the office. Clarke had complained that it would be awkward enough without Lexa standing there watching, so Lexa had conceded and let Clarke deal with at least that much on her own. The second appointment, Clarke tried to go alone again, saying that, “If it’s bad news, I wanna be the one to tell you, not some doctor you barely know…” Lexa didn’t let that fly though; she wasn’t going to miss a moment of their child’s life, even if it was just the first one. Of course, there were other issues with that appointment too. Namely because, Clarke’s heat had been almost a week late. It was probably delayed because of stress; trying to organize the gallery and keep up at the supply store had obviously taken its toll on Clarke. By the time her heat actually came, Lexa was worried if Clarke was strong enough to get through it without some suppressants to take the edge of her exhaustion. They managed to get through it, even enjoy their time together, but it seemed Lexa’s worries weren’t totally unfounded either, as Clarke’s heat didn’t actually last very long; almost three full days shorter than her last heat.

All that added up to Clarke’s second appointment being too early to tell them anything. When they figured out that would be the case, Clarke had called the office to reschedule, but her doctor had said to come in anyway, that sometimes five weeks was enough. However, with dauntingly, inconclusive results, Lexa wished they had rescheduled. It felt like her heart was breaking, facing down that kind of limbo. Inconclusive didn’t mean negative, just that the results were unreadable; or, at least that was how Clarke’s doctor, Dr. Walker, had explained it. It was actually a rather lengthy explanation too, and Lexa found her mind drifting a little, imagining another week of tedious waiting. When she heard Dr. Walker offer Clarke her congratulations, Lexa immediately bristled, thinking the doctor was talking about their unsatisfying results. As she focused back on the conversation around her though, she realized that Dr. Walker was actually talking about Jake and Nick. Apparently, sometime over the last few weeks the good doctor had put two and two together and realized how they were all related. The reminder of Dr. Walker’s connection to Abby and Raven was reassuring too, and by the time, the doctor was arranging their next appointment with them, Lexa felt at least a little more confident.

Of course, that confidence only lasted so long, and she had to find new strength elsewhere. She and Clarke had decided not to tell anyone they were trying to get pregnant, so the only person Lexa had to draw from was Clarke herself. That usually worked out though, because Clarke drew strength from her as well, so many of the nights that week they just cuddled in bed and held each other together. That was how Lexa found herself sprawled out on their bed buried under Clarke’s weight when they got home from Raven and Abby’s place. They had just sort of naturally gravitated that way after they’d come home, and honestly, Lexa did not mind. She had a little time before she had to head to Polaris for the night anyway, and how better to spend that time than cuddled up with the love of her life. She couldn’t help sighing when she thought about holding the mother of her children too.

Despite their comfortable position, Lexa could sense Clarke’s mind still running a mile a minute, and eventually she asked Clarke if there was anything she wanted to talk about. Clarke bottled her feelings up at first, shaking her head even as she burrowed deeper into Lexa’s shoulder. Lexa wasn’t buying it though, ultimately resorting to tickling Clarke to get her to come up for air. When she did, Lexa noticed a couple of tear tracks running down Clarke’s face. She wanted to cry too; wanted to cry for the stress and anxiety she could feel rolling off of Clarke; wanted to cry for her own worries and fears, but instead, she pulled herself together at the last second and said, “I— I know, love. It’s hard and you’re tired… but worrying so much is just going to make us get old that much faster…” That got a little chuckle from Clarke, and even though it was still a little watery, Lexa knew she’d said the right thing. Clarke needed to remember that it was good to laugh; just like it was good to cry too, as long as they were doing it together.

A little later, after she had showered and gotten dressed, it was time for Lexa to leave for work. She checked the bedroom to see if Clarke was still wrapped up in the blankets, only to find all the linens balled up on her side of the bed instead. The next logical place to find Clarke was in her art studio, so Lexa checked there next. Sure enough, Clarke was bent over her desk, and it looked like she was drawing with intent. She barely even noticed when Lexa entered the room, but when Lexa got close enough to look over her shoulder, Clarke quickly covered her work, with a stammered, “No… no, you can’t see it yet. It’s not finished… Maybe I’ll have it done when you get home.”

In the shower, and again as she was getting dressed, Lexa had thought about trying to convince Clarke to change her mind and come out with her, but she could tell just by Clarke’s tone of voice that there would be no changing her mind. Clarke was staying home to finish whatever it was that she had started and honestly, if that was what Clarke wanted, that was alright with Lexa too. She deliberately closed her eyes as she leaned forward then, letting Clarke know she wasn’t trying to peek. She was quickly rewarded for her efforts when a set of hands cupped her jaw and soft, warm lips met her own. When Clarke pulled away to whisper against her skin, Lexa sighed, feeling Clarke’s, “I love you,” slip all the way into her heart. It seemed the muscle would keep pumping for a while longer then; at least, until she could hear those words again.

It was an almost dull sort of evening at Polaris; the possibility of rain obviously keeping a lot of people at home, but around midnight, Lexa noticed a tall, dark-skinned man moving through the crowd. He caught her attention mostly because he wasn’t dressed like one of their regular patrons, looking sharp in a lightly colored suit. It was pretty clear his suit tailored just for him too, all sleek lines and properly hemmed cuffs. His demeanor set him apart as well; he strolled across the room like he owned the place, even though Lexa was sure she’d never seen him before. When he walked right over to shake hands with Marcus, she figured the man must be a friend or co-worker and that was why he seemed out of place.

Before they had even stopped shaking hands though, Marcus was nodding in her direction, and then they were both looking at her too. Her eyes shot down to the decks, and she felt a little embarrassed that she’d been caught staring. Noticing there was only another sixty seconds left of the current track, she tried to focus on that instead of whatever else was going on in the room. It was her job, after all. She slid on one side of her headphones and quickly set up the next track; one of her own originals that she mixed in from time to time. It was simply a coincidence that that song was next in her playlist, but as she was shifting the switcher, slowly blending her song into the tail end of the last one, she froze for second when she heard Marcus’ voice, calling out through the music, “Oh, this’ll be one of hers now.” Marcus cleared his throat too, as if he realized that the songs weren’t blending anymore, and Lexa managed to concentrate long enough to finish the shift before it got too awkward. Unable to force her attention where it wasn’t needed, Lexa turned away from the decks, only to find Marcus and the strange man standing at the top of the booth stairs watching her. They were listening to her music and knew that it was hers too, and Lexa felt herself blush under their attention.

It wasn’t a feeling she was really accustomed to; being embarrassed by her talent, but the way the darker-skinned man shifted and swayed on his feet, she knew he was at least enjoying it. It obviously wasn’t his style, but as he moved, she realized he was a man who could see past the surface. It was almost like he was exploring ever layer too; shifting his feet with the bass beats and twiddling his fingers in time with the treble ones. His obvious appreciation made her flush even more, but then Marcus was introducing them, and Lexa tried to focus on him instead her feelings as he said, “Lexa, this is David _Miller_ , owner of _Twelve Nations, Inc_ … David, this is DJ Heda.”

The not-so-subtle emphasis on the David _Miller’s_ name set of a bell inside her head, but it was the name _Twelve Nations, Inc._ that really caught Lexa’s attention. It was a name she knew all too well. Twelve Nations was the one record label in the city that handled independent DJ’s. In the last five years, she had sent them a dozen of different mixes, simply trying to get her foot in the door, but every time her originals had been returned, unopened. It hit her then; the owner of the whole company was standing right in front of her and all Lexa could do was stare at him. Luckily, Marcus cleared his throat again and kept talking, “Like I was telling you, David, Lexa’s been essential to getting Polaris back on its feet, and I’m sure I don’t have to explain why… it’s all around us.”

The music was swelling around them, that much was true, and Lexa quickly realized that they were probably only about twenty seconds from dead air. She didn’t even take the time to excuse herself before she turned back to the decks and pressed her headphones back up onto her ears. She barely got the next track to lined up before she had to start the switch, but she smiled as her song blended right into the next. It only widened when she noticed that the few dancers that were on the dance floor swirled right into their next moves as well. She heard a brief chuckle behind her too, but she didn’t turn back to Marcus and David just yet, cueing and lining up a long, pre-set mix instead. She wanted to be able look Marcus in the eye when he explained why he thought it was a good idea to bring _David Miller_ up to her booth, especially without any warning. Of course, she had her suspicions about why he was there, but she tried to be patient and wait for answers to the questions spinning around in her head. She didn’t want to set herself up for disappointment by hoping for anything. When she felt like enough of the new song had played out, and the right hook dropped, she hit the repeat and started to switch again. It felt a little too surreal when the words, “It’s like a dream…” repeated over and over, getting softer and softer each time until she finally finished the fade.

Trying to prepare herself, she took in a deep breath, and only after she felt some modicum of calm, did she eventually turn back to Marcus and David. Finding them hunched together, having an obviously private conversation was a bit of a shock. She felt like it was a little rude too; for them to expect that kind of privacy while they were standing only a few feet away from her, but she folded her arms over her chest as she waited for them to finish, biting her tongue when they finally looked back up at her. They were both smiling at least, so that helped buffer Lexa’s slight irritation. Naturally, David Miller said something then that totally threw her for a loop, “So, _Heda,_ do you have enough originals for an album, or would we be talking single releases to get you started?”

Thoroughly shocked, Lexa could barely continue breathing, much less actually respond. His frank tone had caught her off guard, for one, but the words themselves seemed like distant concepts too. It took her several, long seconds to even begin to process what he’d said. Even then, when she finally understood the words, she still couldn’t do more than just gape at him. Never in a million years did she think someone would ask her that. Thankfully, Marcus piped up for her, saying, “From what I’ve heard she’s got at least a half a dozen, but I would bet there are more where that came from.”

As he spoke, Lexa started to come around too; his words bouncing around inside her head for a moment before she actually started to think of how many original works she did have. Marcus was right; she had more than enough for an album, probably two if she took the time to go back and polish a few things that weren’t completely finished. It was all still so unexpected though that it took her another moment before she could get those words from her brain to her mouth, but she finally managed, “He’s right… I— I have probably twenty originals that I think would be ready for release.” A little surprised at how sure of herself she sounded, Lexa tried to use that false confidence to push aside her lingering disbelief, burying it deep down as she added, “And, maybe ten more that could be finished within the week.”

The smile that crept across David Miller’s lips was like a Cheshire-cat kind of smile, all shining teeth and tight lips. Lexa didn’t find it as unnerving as it should have been though, probably because it seemed so natural; it was a confident sort of smirk, one he likely wore every time he about to make a deal. Her eyes followed the movement as he stuck his hand out to her to shake, but she just stared at it for a second as he said, “Well then, _Heda,_ looks like you’ve got yourself a record deal… I’ll have my office call you on Monday with the details. There’ll be some papers for you to sign…”

It was happening too fast; there had to be a catch, but as David Miller, owner of Twelve Nations, Inc., stood there, his hand expectantly outstretched in front of her, Lexa couldn’t think about that. This was clearly a once in a lifetime sort of opportunity and Lexa wasn’t going to let it pass her by. She recovered herself as quickly as she could, pressing her hand into his as she said, “I’m looking forward to working with you.” David’s smile widened almost beyond belief then, but that wide grin seemed contagious as a slow smile spread over Lexa’s lips as well. She chanced a little glance over at Marcus when David let go of her hand, but the hearty smile she was expecting to see on his face had more than a little smugness to it. Lexa almost scolded him about it, the look making it obvious he was proud of himself for introducing them. The only thing holding her back was the thought that he probably deserved to feel a little smug; he had probably just changed her whole life with one simple introduction. The profit checks from Polaris were nice, stable, but the amount of money she could make off this deal could change everything.

Marcus ushered David away then, saying something about ‘wanting to see Nathan’ before David left. Somewhere in her mind, Lexa made the distinct connection between David Miller and Nathan Miller, but she was still too overwhelmed by what had just happened to put much thought into it. There were just too many thoughts for her to focus on that particular one for more than a moment. One thing she knew, was that she needed to find Marcus when he was done with David. She needed to get some answers, but she also kind of wanted a drink too. Her throat was dry as a bone, and while she knew a shot or a beer wouldn’t actually quench her thirst, she also thought that a drink was just what she needed. Maybe the alcohol would finally slow the wild beating of her heart. If she was quick about it, she could probably get her drink, and find Marcus, before her mix break was over. She hurriedly slid out of the booth then, nodding and smiling her way across the dance floor, as a few of the patrons recognized her out of her tower. When she got to the bar, it was pretty obvious Gina had been watching her exchange with Marcus and David and already had a shot and a beer waiting on the bar for her. Gina spoke up too, just as Lexa’s hands closed around the glasses, “What happened up there just now? You look like you might puke…”

In lieu of answering, Lexa bought herself a moment by downing the shot and then chasing it with the beer. She wasn’t sure she could trust her voice at the moment anyway. She breathed through the burn, and then the bitterness that followed, but she smiled as she felt the warmth of the alcohol start to flow under her skin. It gave her a certain amount of her confidence back, and when she looked back up at Gina, she barely sputtered as she said, “I— I think I just landed a record deal…”

Of course, Gina was ecstatic, like more so than Lexa herself, but as Gina chattered on, saying how thrilled she was and how this would mean huge things for Lexa and for Polaris too, Lexa wasn’t really listening. The second those words had left her mouth, she realized what she had done; she’d just made a major life decision, and without even consulting Clarke about it. She didn’t think Clarke would be upset, probably quite the contrary, but still she worried that somehow that handshake would come back to bite her on the ass. The longer she thought about the situation, the more rational she became, and it was only a minute or two before she felt herself calming down. Thinking much more clearly, she realized that a handshake was just a handshake, and even then, all she had really agreed to was speaking with someone from David’s office on Monday. There was no way Clarke would be mad at her for exploring an opportunity.

It seemed Gina had finally talked herself, but with the way she was looking at Lexa, it was obvious Gina was seeking some sort of input into the conversation. Thankfully, Marcus choose that moment to join them at the bar, and Lexa managed to sort of gracefully excuse them from Gina’s presence, saying, “Sorry, Gi… but Marcus here has some explaining to do.” Gina just smiled and waved them off, so Lexa started dragging Marcus towards the patio without a second thought. By the time she finally got him outside, the stress and nervousness inside her was already cresting again and she couldn’t help herself as she whirled on him, growling at him as she spat, “A little heads-up would have been nice…”

Marcus appeared to take her ire in stride though, like he always did, which really just made Lexa want to punch him in his smug face. For a moment, she thought she might actually hit him too, but she managed to reign herself in, focusing again, just as Marcus began to respond, saying, “Lexa… I’m sorry, but I feel pretty blindsided too… When Nathan and I spoke a couple of weeks ago, about who his father was and what that could mean for Polaris, I didn’t think much of it. Apparently, Nathan thought a lot more about it than I did, and eventually, gave his father my number. David and I have chatted on the phone a couple of times since then, mostly about Polaris, but he asked some questions about you too. It all seemed so causal, like maybe he was just gathering information, so he could offer advice, but then… I mean, honestly, I had no idea he was planning on coming here tonight.” Marcus paused there, and Lexa allowed it; she needed a moment herself to collect his words and make sense of them as well. Marcus didn’t let her reflect for very long though, eventually adding, “I won’t lie… the idea of having a famous DJ in residence at Polaris appeals to me, but if this isn’t something you want for your life, then don’t sign with David… We’re doing alright without his help.”

The word ‘famous’ made Lexa’s brain misfire, and suddenly, she couldn’t keep her eyes locked with Marcus’ anymore. It wasn’t something she had ever really considered before, being ‘famous.’ Sure, she had people who followed her blog, and she had people who came to the club every weekend to hear her spin, but the idea of becoming a household name was taking root. It definitely wasn’t hard to imagine all the things she could do with that kind of influence. It wasn’t that she was hungry for money or power either but being able to touch so many people’s lives was an incredible opportunity. She knew that fame would come with a lot of responsibility too. Young minds were so easily swayed, by flashy personalities or scandalous celebrities; Lexa just hoped if she actually became famous, she would be more of a role model than a tabloid star.

Something bobbed violently in her field of vision, and as the haze of her imagination began to clear, Lexa found Marcus bouncing back and forth on his heels in front her. His head was a little ducked forward too, like he was trying to meet her eyes. She’d probably been standing there for far too long, just staring at his feet, but as the world around her came into focus again, all she could really concentrate on was the song that was playing. Without even having to think about it, she knew she had less than five minutes before she needed to head back to the booth. It was sort of sad that the music was always her first thought, but she also figured that was one of the reasons why she was so good at what she did; her dedication to perfection usually made up for any mistakes she might make. She knew that that dedication could get in the way sometimes too, but before she could allow herself to get too far back down that rabbit-hole, she finally said, “Marcus… I— I don’t know if that’s what I want, but I have a lot to consider before Monday, that’s for sure.”

Marcus’ softer smile returned, and his hand fell gently on her shoulder. The simple embrace certainly wasn’t unwanted either, if anything Lexa felt herself relax even more; the contact actually helping her focus. After a moment, his smile turned pensive though, and then he said, “Well, if you wanna know what I think… Lexa, you’re a visionary… Sure, sure, I know I probably seem like just some old guy who doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground, but I’ve been to the other clubs around town. There’s no one around who has half your talent… It just seems like a waste, keeping yourself here because of strange sense of duty… More people should be able to share in your vision.”

The mention of duty stung a little bit, thinking of Titus and her obligation to carry on what he had started, but she also knew that if Titus were there, he would want her to do what was best for her. Of course, signing a record deal and getting herself out there, would help Polaris too, especially because she wasn’t planning on giving up her ‘day’ job any time soon. Honestly, she hadn’t even done anything yet; shaken hands a couple times and that was it. Horse, then cart; not the other way around. She guessed part of getting her horse out in front of her, was getting through until closing time so she could go home and talk to Clarke. Part of getting through the rest of the night, was going back to the booth and actually doing her job. She thanked Marcus for his kind words, saying, “That’s very kind of you, Marcus… and rest assured, I’m not leaving this place… no matter what I decide.” Thankfully, he seemed to take that as the end of their conversation, only nodding in response, so Lexa gracefully excused herself back to the booth to finish out the night.

Thankfully, the smaller-than-usual crowd thinned out earlier than usual too; again, people probably wanting to try to get home before the storm that was winding up outside had time to bear down on the city. Lexa’s own trudge to her car was long and exceptionally wet, so much so that when she settled into the driver’s seat, she thought about trying to wait out the rain a little bit. One quick glance at the weather app on her phone told her that wouldn’t work though, as there wasn’t going to be a break in the downpour any time soon. She shot Clarke a quick text, just to let her know she was on her way home, and Lexa got an almost immediate reply, simply, ‘Be careful. Just go slow and I’ll be here when you get here.’

Dedicating herself to doing just that, Lexa eased out of her parking spot and onto the road. It took far longer to get home than she wanted it to; creeping along the nearly flooded streets, but eventually she pulled into a parking spot. Thankfully, it wasn’t too far away from the front door to her building either, not even as far to walk as it had been to her car at Polaris. Of course, probably three steps away from the car, the bottom of the sky fell out. Letting out what was probably a very undignified squeak, Lexa hustled down the sidewalk that much faster, but she was still dripping by the time she got inside the lobby. Clean, dry clothes weren’t far away though, so Lexa just slogged her way up the stairs, her feet squelching inside her soaked sneakers.

At least, Clarke was there waiting for her; a huge smile on her face and one of their big fluffy towels in her hands. Lexa couldn’t help but smile back as Clarke stepped out into the hall and started drying her off, rubbing the towel over her hair and face. It was comforting, having Clarke’s hands on her, even through the towel. She let Clarke lead her inside then, and they got all the way into their bathroom before Lexa actually said anything, too awed by Clarke attentions to think past the sensations. Even then, all she could muster was a simple, whispered, “thanks, baby…” Clarke nodded, but continued to dry her off without saying anything in return. Lexa knew that Clarke wasn’t trying to turn her on, but that didn’t mean Lexa didn’t feel a little hot under the collar as Clarke started working on the buttons of her coat, quickly pealing the soaked fabric off her arms before turning her attention to the vest that was underneath.

Instead of just standing there, Lexa got to work too, undoing her pants and beginning to push them down her hips as Clarke finished with vest’s buttons. She kicked off her shoes and stepped out of her pants before Clarke finally started to pull her vest down over her arms. It seemed like one moment Lexa was wearing clothes and the next she wasn’t, but she didn’t feel strange about it. Even with Clarke still fully clothed, it didn’t feel strange; of course, the way Clarke looked at her before turning to the shower helped with that. Lexa couldn’t deny that it felt really good to have Clarke look at her with hunger like that. She quickly stripped out her underwear and bra, hoping to get another such look from Clarke when she turned back around, but it was Lexa who ended up hungry when Clarke was leaned over to pull some of her hair out the shower drain. The swell of Clarke’s ass was always appealing, but when Lexa spotted the fold of Clarke’s thigh and butt hanging out of the bottom of Clarke’s shorts, she nearly reached out to touch it. Before she could move though, Clarke was already turning back towards her. The hunger in Clarke’s eyes hadn’t diminished, but still, Clarke put a hand on her bare chest as she said, “Shower, and then we’ll see… Right now, you smell like a wet dog…”

Sighing, Lexa dutifully got in the shower, mostly because she knew Clarke was right. She did smell bad; the rainwater was mixing with the alcohol and sweat smells from the club, and they seemed to be amplifying the worst qualities in each other. She couldn’t help but try to get Clarke to join her though, peeking her head back out of the shower to say, “Maybe you should get in too, just to make sure I don’t miss a spot…”

Clarke was rolling her eyes before Lexa even finished suggesting it, almost interrupting her as she laughingly said, “Ha… Nice try. Just don’t take too long, I’ve got something to show you when you’re done.”

Suddenly remembering the drawing Clarke had been working on before she’d left for work, Lexa quickly slunk back into the shower and got to work. She heard Clarke laughing as she left the room, but Lexa just kept lathering up her hair. She tried to be gentle to keep it from tangling too much, but with Clarke waiting for her, she didn’t do a very good job. She conditioned it as best she could then; in some places, painfully drawing her fingers through the knots she had made. She lathered a washcloth as she stood under the water to rinse her hair. She thought she managed to get most of it out, but she didn’t put much thought into it before turning her attention towards washing the rest of her body. She rinsed her hair again when she rinsed her body, just to be sure she got all the cream rinsed out. She was too excited to linger for long though. She very much wanted to see the drawing Clarke had been so secretive about before. She didn’t even bother really drying off when she was done, simply wrapping a towel around her chest and her hair before making her way out of the bathroom.

Figuring Clarke would be in her studio, Lexa was surprised to find her perched on the edge of their bed instead; literally waiting for her. Clarke smiled at her though, and gently patted the spot beside her on the bed. Lexa wasn’t about to turn down an invitation like that, and quickly settled on the edge of the bed beside Clarke. As she sat down, the bed dipped, and something slid off her pillow and into her side. When she turned to see what it was, she was overwhelmed to find the most life-like drawing she had ever seen. It was portrait; a small boy’s face filling the middle of the page. It was lit up like it was Christmas morning, and his toothy smile had a gape in the front from a missing tooth. Her own eyes were staring back at her, and her jawline was there too. When she noticed Clarke’s cheeks and nose filling out the rest of his face, Lexa knew who the boy was before Clarke said a word. He was their son; a child they didn’t even know whether they were having yet, but obviously, Clarke had seen enough of him in her mind to bring him to life anyway. She all-but forced herself to look back at Clarke then, but she was still beaming as she said, “Clarke… this is beautiful… _Our son is beautiful_ … We, uh, we should frame this and hang it up somewhere… somewhere where we’ll see it a lot.”

The chuckle that followed was sweet, but the kiss after that was even sweeter, and Lexa found herself falling so deeply into Clarke’s kiss that she almost forgot about her prospective record deal. That is, until Clarke pulled away, cupping her face with her palms as she said, “I’d really like that… Now, tell me about your night.” Lexa hesitated; she wasn’t really sure where to start, but Clarke took her reluctance and ran with it, immediately asking, “That good, huh? What did Jasper finally land himself in court appointed AA or something?” Lexa couldn’t help but chuckle at that, though as the sound left her lips, she realized how unsettled it sounded. Clarke must have noticed that too, as she pressed in close for another kiss before continuing, “Worse than that? Did Polaris burn down or something?”

Shocked by that leap in logic, Lexa gasped, but then found herself sputtering as she choked out, “God, no… NO… don’t even say things like that... My night was big, but wasn’t bad, not unless you think it’s bad anyway…” Clarke huffed out a sigh, and Lexa cut herself off, knowing she was about to ramble her way through what could be one of the biggest decisions of her life. She took a deep breath to steady herself before she tried to continue, eventually explaining, “I met the CEO of Twelve Nation, Inc. tonight, and he… he offered me a record deal. He said someone would call me Monday with the details.”

It was Clarke’s turn to ramble then, firing off questions almost faster than Lexa could answer them. Some she had easy answers for; the who, the where, and the how. There was one question where Lexa really got tripped up. When Clarke asked her why she didn’t seem happy about it, Lexa just couldn’t put it into words, ultimately settling for a vague, “I don’t know… I guess I’m just waiting for the catch.”

Clarke gave her an understanding smile, but took a long moment to herself before she finally replied, “Babe, what if there isn’t a catch?” Lexa wasn’t sure she could to even think like that; certainly, she would always worry about when the other shoe would drop, but Clarke’s unambiguous optimism was pretty contagious too. By the time they were snuggling up in bed together, she felt like it didn’t matter what came next, negative test results, or a contract that had more cons than pros; she’d always have Clarke there to put things in perspective when she needed it.

 

~~~

 

The day before Octavia’s birthday party was whirlwind kind of a day. It all started with Raven, waking her up early, mumbling something that sounded like ‘kudos’ as she got up to see to their boys. It was just strange enough to catch Abby’s attention, even though she was still half-asleep, but before she could get her thoughts together enough to actually make words, Raven had already slipped out of the room. She glanced at the clock then and seeing that it was only another twenty minutes before her alarm was set to go off, she got up and followed Raven towards the nursery. Raven smiled at her when she entered the room, but it was tired, almost sad. Abby didn’t hesitate to cross the room and take her grumpy son from Raven’s arms. Raven almost looked like she didn’t want to let him go, but Abby tried to soothe her fearful look, saying, “It’s ok, honey. Go back to bed. I’ll get him back down and then I can go shower.” Raven just looked grateful then, but her grumbling from earlier was still nagging at Abby. Before Raven could turn to leave the room, Abby asked her, “Wait… what were you saying earlier? When you were first getting up?”

The blush that crossed Raven’s cheeks told Abby that whatever it was must have been embarrassing, and that just made her want to know that much more. Thankfully, Raven only squirmed under her gaze for a moment before she replied, “I was thinking about Kronos… Titan father to the Greek gods. He was the one who ate his own children… Anyway, Bellamy told me all about it one day… and I think I figured out why he did it. They kept waking him up in the middle of the night… I mean, I was having the _best_ dream, Abs.”

While Raven’s little ramble was amusing, the way Raven whined, complaining about her _best_ dream being interrupted, made a little shiver run down Abby’s spine. She had a pretty good idea what Raven meant; she’d had a sex dream, all skin and heat and sweat, and just the thought of it made Abby sweat a little too. She wanted to offer Raven some comfort, wanted pull Raven into her arms, but with little Jake nestled against her chest that wasn’t really possible. Abby settled for reaching out to cup Raven’s jaw instead, pulling her mate forward for a quick kiss before she said, “I know, honey… trust me, I know, but tomorrow night isn’t that far away.”

As she spoke, Abby was a little surprised by how gruff her voice sounded, but it made sense. Her whole body felt strained, as she wrestled with her desires. Raven always smelled good, but as Abby drew her closer, she realized she could smell how good Raven’s dream had been too. It really was all she could do to restrain herself then. She leaned back in for another kiss but pulled back only a second later when Jake stirred in her arms, cooing a little bit before settling again. She gave Raven a soft smile, and Raven smiled back at her before she turned away to nestle Jake back into his crib. At least all he had needed was a little contact to calm him down, because with both of her boys resting peacefully, Abby couldn’t stop herself from grabbing Raven’s hand and leading her back toward their bedroom. Raven didn’t fight her in the least, but Abby did hear Raven whine as they started to by-pass their bed. She turned back to Raven at the sound, needing to reassure her. She simply pulled Raven into her arms then, and she said, “I may be up a little early, but I still have to shower before work. I thought you might wanna join me though. We could bring the baby monitor and turn it up really loud… just in case we get distracted…”

That shower turned out to be one of the best, and the worst, showers of her life. Having Raven pressed against the shower wall, panting her name and coming around her fingers, felt like heaven on earth. Her subsequent tardiness to work was more like hell. Apparently, a staff meeting had been called for that morning. At first, Abby hadn’t really thought much of it, figuring there were new protocols or new management or something. With everything going on, Abby had sort of forgotten about it too, so when she walked into the meeting, ten minutes late, she definitely wasn’t expecting Thelonious Jaha to immediately call her up to the front of the room. She was both shocked, and a little mortified, when he announced that he was moving on, saying that he was retiring at the end of the year. It was when he said he was ‘looking forward to passing his torch to the next generation’ that really made Abby squirm though. Despite her shock and awe, she couldn’t do much more than smile and nod; knowing that he was intending for her to take his position. In that moment, she really wished she had just given in when Raven tried to press her back against their shower wall. She couldn’t help thinking that maybe that extra ten or fifteen minutes might have saved her from this embarrassment altogether. There would have been consequences for missing the staff meeting, but at least then, she would have only been embarrassed in private.

Of course, moving up to Chief of Surgery was the logical progression of her career, and it would certainly mean an increase in pay, but it would also mean an increase in responsibility as well. With that responsibility, came more hours she would have to spend at the hospital too. The worst part of that, would be that she wouldn’t even be spending her time with patients anymore. The Chief’s job was mostly clerical, checking up on other people’s work all the time. Abby knew that it wouldn’t take long for her to get frustrated not being able to simply perform the surgeries herself. Those extra hours she would have to spend at the hospital would surely affect her relationship with Raven and her sons too. Being at home even less than she already was, was not ideal. Abby already felt like she was missing so much, with the way things were; more hours away from home was definitely unappealing. She knew that there were some serious conversations ahead for her and Raven.

Abby’s day didn’t slow down from there either. Shortly after that staff meeting, when she entered her office, she found Dr. Lorelai Sing already sitting in one of her armchairs waiting for her. Abby instantly felt slighted, thinking it was quite presumptuous of Dr. Sing to wait inside her office instead of outside it, but when Dr. Sing turned to her with a beaming smile, Abby couldn’t find it in herself to be rude about it. That was especially auspicious, when Dr. Sing offered her a new job as well. Apparently, Dr. Sing had been impressed with Abby’s surgical skills for a while, before and even after Senator Wallace’s death, and she was interested in having someone with her skill and experience on her research team. There was a new clinical trial that Dr. Sing was leading, and she wanted Abby on as the surgical consultant. Moving into research would mean a pay cut, but if the trial was successful, any papers Abby wrote for it would be published along with the study, which would mean royalties from the original publication and then residuals from any duplications. Joining the research team would also mean that Abby could work from home, if she wanted. Actually, Abby thought Dr. Sing was encouraging her to work from home, saying that they could probably pay Abby more per month if she didn’t need an office. Dr. Sing really laid it on thick too, making the job sound that much sweeter when she went on to suggest that there might even be travel opportunities, to consult with prospective patients, but again only if Abby wanted.

By the time they had finished talking, Dr. Sing seemed genuinely excited about having Abby on her team, maybe even more excited than Thelonious had been at the idea of Abby taking his position. Abby couldn’t deny that that enthusiasm had worn off on her, but she managed to keep herself cool long enough to ask Dr. Sing for a few days to think about it, knowing she needed to discuss all of it with Raven before she decided anything. When they parted, Dr. Sing off to an afternoon full of meetings with Abby looking forward to a short surgery before lunch and then a rather long one for the afternoon, it was decided that Abby had until Monday to let Dr. Sing know whether she would be joining the team or not.

Her ‘short’ surgery was a textbook case, and she managed to resolve a man’s herniated shoulder muscle in a little under an hour. It was after that, that Abby experienced possibly the biggest shock of her day, approaching her regular lunch table, hers and Harper’s and Tris’ table, to see a tuft of short blonde hair sitting up tall from their usually empty fourth seat. She struggled to reconcile the image in front of her with who should actually be sitting there. That was Anya’s seat, and to be honest, Abby still missed having her friend around, so imagine her surprise when she realized that the new addition to their lunch table was none other than Anya’s old boss, Cara Byrne. What seemed most odd was that Abby knew Tris’ general dislike for the woman too, so seeing them sitting together chatting calmly over a meal felt a little like being in _The Twilight Zone._ They all seemed to be enjoying themselves though, so Abby simply sat down and tried to join in on their conversation about Thelonious’ impending retirement. She had wanted to tell Harper and Tris all about Dr. Sing’s proposal, but she didn’t really feel right talking about it in front of Byrne, not sure where her loyalties laid.

Eventually though, she brought it up, feeling more and more comfortable with Cara as time went on. Abby was a little surprised when Cara said she thought the research job sounded like it was a good opportunity; as good as Chief of Surgery at CCMC, if not better. Despite her initial shock, Abby quickly agreed, telling the table about the perks of joining the research team; working from home when she wanted, and getting to travel when she wanted too. Harper and Tris agreed with Cara, both saying they that thought it sounded like a great opportunity, but Abby could tell that the idea of her leaving didn’t sit well with either of them. In all honesty, Abby didn’t like the idea of leaving CCMC either; she had spent most of her adult life working in that hospital, but with Raven at home with the boys all the time, experiencing every ‘first’ they made without her, the idea of becoming a researcher appealed to Abby just as much.

Despite everyone’s kind words, Abby knew that ultimately it would come down to what she and Raven decided together. Having less money around the house would be a factor, but with Raven’s garage business doing so well, at least money didn’t have to be the only factor. She knew she would enjoy being home more, but the prestige of the Chief’s job called to Abby’s ego. She thought that maybe she could even make Chief of Medicine someday if she stuck with CCMC. There would prestige that came with Sing’s offer too, but only if the trail was successful. That ‘if’ was pretty big one though, especially with Dr. Sing’s intentions. She had explained that the trial was to help people with a rare genetic disorder that caused them to be extra sensitive to radiation. Dr. Sing wanted to try to use bone marrow treatments to correct that sensitivity. On the surface, the idea seemed sound, but medicine wasn’t always an exact science; what worked for one patient may not work with another.

That principle was obvious in Abby’s afternoon surgery, that was sure. Doing a cholecystectomy was an already complex process, making four separate incisions and then managing the four instruments that went in through those incisions, but that day, it was even more complicated. It started out simple enough, but when Abby started to insert her first instrument, her patient’s blood pressure suddenly dropped. At least, the instrument in her hand was already a lit camera, so as the nurse’s worked to stabilize her patient’s pressure, Abby explored, looking for any unexpected internal bleeding. Of course, she didn’t find any, and the nurse’s got his pressure up fairly quickly too, so they continued the procedure. If it had been an isolated incident, Abby wouldn’t have worried so much, but when the man’s pressure fell again twenty minutes later, she started to feel a little frantic. In a matter of seconds, his pressure went back up again though, so Abby continued on as well. Her patient seemed stable after that, at least for a little while, but just as Abby was about to actually remove his gallbladder, his pressure dipped again; this time even lower than before. Abby had to take her hands off her instruments and step back as her nurse’s pushed in around her, trying to assess their patient. She locked eyes with Harper, who was standing across the table from her, but the smile on Harper’s face seemed out of place. It was only a second or two before Harper’s smile split and Abby heard her say, “Maybe, next time, we should make sure the pressure cuff is the right size, before we start surgery.”

Abby’s eyes shot over to the other two nurses then, and she felt a ‘bubbling up’ kind of a rage when one of them just blushed and looked away. She didn’t let that rage come bubbling out though, knowing that accidents happen, and sometimes, mistakes simply get made. Still, she couldn’t keep all that emotion out of her voice as she growled, “Yes… Next Time…” The blushing nurse had the decency to apologize and Abby decided to let it go, nodding as she stepped back up to her patient and went back to work. After all that, the rest of the procedure went along just as planned. Her patient’s gallbladder came out with relative ease. Stitching up the laparoscopic incisions was even easier; eight sutures and that was that.

Normally, Abby would stick around the OR as the nurses prepped their patient for transfer to recovery, but with everything else that had happened that day, Abby barely had the headspace to concentrate on scrubbing herself out, much less anything else. She meandered to her office then and began packing up her things in a sort of post-stress haze, trying to calm herself down enough to drive home. Abby knew driving home in a stupor was a stupid idea, but she didn’t think waiting around at the hospital would do her any favors either. If anything, it would have probably just made her more anxious. When she got home though, she did sit in the car for a few minutes before heading inside, trying to clear her mind and organize her thoughts a little better before she went inside to face Raven. She wanted to be able to present both of their options in the best light possible and then logically talk through the pros and cons.

Of course, what actually happened, wasn’t anything like what Abby had expected, but as these things go, at least unexpected didn’t necessarily mean bad; even if all the signs pointed to bad. The first sign was the acrid burnt smell that hit Abby’s nose the second she was through the front door. Next, she heard Raven muttering and cursing in the kitchen. As Abby made her way in that direction, the burning smell combined with a sharp whiff of Raven’s irritation, and it almost made Abby gag. She pressed on though, knowing that she needed to figure out what was going on before she panicked. When she turned the corner into the kitchen, she almost smiled as she took in the scene in front of her. Raven was holding Nick against her hip with one arm and was fanning a blackened casserole dish with the other. Obviously seeing what happened, Abby simply reached up over the door to flip the smoke detector off, before she said, “You can stop fanning now, if you want…” She really should have found some other way to announce herself though, because Raven jerked, clearly surprised as she shouted a few more choice words and whirled around towards Abby. The look of shock and fear on Raven’s face was genuine though, and Abby immediately apologized, saying, “Sorry, honey… I didn’t mean to surprise you.”

Raven’s shoulders slumped a little bit, when their eyes met, but Abby could tell she was about to get an ear full anyway; especially if the look in Raven’s eyes was any indication. Raven did lay into her a little bit too, quickly grumbling, “Damn it, Abs… You scared the shit out of me…”

Abby couldn’t help herself, she laughed a little bit, because if the new smell that was swirling into her nose was anything to go by, her surprise had literally scared the shit out of someone. Holding her hands out, offering to take her son, Abby moved to Raven then, as she said, “Well, I may have scared the _shit_ out of you, but at least you’re not the one who needs a change…” Raven let out a little shy laugh then, obviously relaxing a bit too, and as Abby took her son into her arms, she added, “We can order out tonight, if you want?”

Looking a bit sheepish then, Raven quickly agreed, shaking her arm out as she said, “Thanks, he was getting heavy…” She paused for moment, and Abby just smiled as Raven looked back over towards the stovetop. Raven’s next words were a little muffled, but Abby could hear the sadness in her voice as she added, “I was trying to make lasagna, but then I was trying to clean for the party too, and I guess I got kinda distracted…”

Settling her stinky boy against her own hip as gently as possible, Abby thought for a second that Raven might actually cry over the burnt lasagna. Abby couldn’t let that happen though, so she took a step closer as she said, “It’s alright, sweetheart. If I had a dime, for every time I burned dinner…” She let herself trail off there, knowing her point was made when Raven turned to look at her again. Her smile softened a little as Raven took a step towards her, and she sighed as she pulled Raven into her other side, opposite of Nick. She pressed a quick kiss to the top of Raven’s head then, only pulling back far enough to whisper into Raven’s hair, “how about Thai?” Raven nodded, so Abby quickly added, “order me the chicken curry while I get Nick changed?” Raven squeezed her so tightly then let Abby thought maybe Raven had changed her mind, but then a second later Raven pulled away saying something about going ‘to find her phone.’

Feeling properly dismissed, Abby made her way back into the living room. She stopped along the way to check on Jake, but when she found him happily cooing in his rocker, she made her way over to the couch instead. She laid a little blanket out over the slightly scratchy furniture and then settled Nick down on that. She got to work then, getting him cleaned and changed into a fresh diaper. By the time she was finished he was starting to get a little fussy, but when Abby scooped him up into her arms and swaddled him against her chest, he quieted down again. When she turned to make her way back into the kitchen, to see how far Raven had gotten with ordering dinner, she found Raven leaned against the door frame into the living room instead; holding Jake as she watched Abby with Nick. The soft smile on Raven’s face was so beautiful, but there was this plaintive, almost regretful look in her eyes. In that moment, Abby knew she wouldn’t even be considering taking Thelonious’ job. She needed more moments just like this in her life, and the way to get that, was to take Dr. Sing up on her offer.

Over dinner, Abby broached the subject of Dr. Sing’s offer first, telling Raven all about the trial and the opportunity for publication. It was when she mentioned that she could work from home, or travel, if she wanted that really got Raven going, and Abby could tell the longer she talked, the more excited Raven became. She couldn’t not mention the Chief of Surgery job however; her pride wouldn’t let her overlook it. When she eventually brought it up though, she tried to make it sound more like an afterthought than an actual possibility. That was easier than she thought it would be too, especially when she realized that Thelonious hadn’t actually offered her the job; he’d only made it seem that way. She could tell that Raven was more than a little curious about how she really felt about the Chief’s job, and when Raven asked her questions, she tried to be honest. She tried to tell Raven, in no uncertain terms, that while, yes, part of her wanted the prestige and pride that came with a big title job like that, she really wanted her family more. They were pretty much finished eating by the time Abby finally managed to get her point across, ultimately having to say, “Raven, I only told you about the Chief’s job because I felt like I had to… I don’t actually want the job. Being here with you and the boys means more to me than that…” Of course, Raven swooned, playfully swatting Abby’s shoulder in an attempt to bleed off some of her emotions.

It was pretty obvious Raven had had enough heavy emotions for one evening then, so Abby turned the conversation instead, smiling as she told Raven about eating lunch with Harper and Tris, and Cara Byrne. Raven seemed pretty surprised by that news, but Abby found herself thinking that maybe all Cara had needed was someone to be friendly to her first to be able to relax enough to be friendly back. Raven had plenty to tell her too, talking up a storm about how great a day it had been; at least, until she’d burned dinner. Abby wasn’t surprised the slightest bit when Raven told her about Clarke and Lexa showing up and helping her with the decorations for Octavia’s party. She was surprised though, when Raven chastised her a little bit about it, saying a little too haughtily, “I don’t need you organizing social visits for me, Abs. I’m a big girl… I have my own phone and everything.” Abby wasn’t about to let Raven get away with that kind of snark though, pushing Raven over onto the couch and pinning her down to tickle her until she took it back. If only their teasing had stayed light and playful; then Abby wouldn’t have ended up, incredibly turned on, and incredibly frustrated, when both of the boys started to fuss, and they had to stop. The promise of later in Raven’s eyes was all she needed to get moving though, knowing that at she wouldn’t have to wait long for Raven to fulfill that promise in her eyes. Thanks to Octavia’s birthday party, they’d soon get that alone time they were both obviously desperate for.

Despite having until Monday to decide, before bed that night, Abby sent an email to Dr. Sing, essentially accepting the job; asking questions like when she would need to start and what her first assignment might entail. Clearly still affected by their brief tryst on the couch, Raven watched over her shoulder as she typed, lightly kissing the side of Abby’s neck anytime she made a typo. Raven’s light teasing was distracting, but Abby really didn’t mind. They even managed to take a little time together when she was done, and honestly, Abby couldn’t think of a better way to put off going to bed than having Raven seated on her desk with her hand down Raven’s shorts. Of course, that moment was cut short too, when the boys started to get hungry. The sounds of their whining caught Abby’s attention, even over Raven’s rough panting in her ear. She could feel how close Raven was; clenching tightly around her fingers, and Abby wasn’t about to stop. With Raven that close, wild horses couldn’t make Abby stop. Still, she definitely sped up the process as much as she could, pushing deeper and swirling faster, driving Raven over the edge with the force. Only a few thrusts later, Abby sighed as Raven jerked and spasmed against her, crying out as she was swept away.

Kissing at Raven’s neck, Abby tried to ease Raven’s shudders as she came down, but the sounds from the baby monitor were definitely becoming more urgent. She really didn’t want to, but she eventually pulled her hand away from Raven’s core, only to take Raven’s bottom lip between her own when Raven whimpered at the loss of contact. “Tomorrow, honey… tomorrow…” Abby promised against Raven’s lips then, knowing that it was a small consolation, even as she slid out from between Raven’s spread thighs.

Of course, Raven huffed at her promise, sounding sad and frustrated as she quietly complained, “not good enough… I wanted to touch you too…” Abby was already making her way out of the room, but she turned back to Raven from the doorway. All she could offer was a sad shrug and a muttered apology before one of the boys really kicked it up a notch; his whining taking on a higher, harsher pitch. Abby knew it was her turn to feed them, and she figured she needed to get to it before they were waking the neighbors; and, not in the ‘screaming each other’s names’ sort of way. As she climbed the stairs, she smiled when she heard Raven start to follow her up to the nursery. When she reached the third floor, she turned into the kitchenette to start prepping bottles, letting Raven go on into the nursery to sit back down. She figured Raven’s legs were probably still a little shaky anyway. The thought made Abby smirk a little bit, but she kept herself focused, despite the distracting images running through her head.

When the bottles were ready, the formula feeling just warm to the touch, Abby made her way into the nursery, only to find Raven half asleep, with Jake curled up against her chest. Abby almost hated disturbing them; they looked that peaceful, but she knew Jake needed to eat on schedule or they’d be up with him half the night. She called out as loudly as she dared, cooing as she said, “hey… honey… the bottles are ready…” When Raven blinked at her a few seconds later, a happy smile spread over Abby’s lips. She watched for a moment as Raven got her bearings, shifting Jake into a good feeding position. When they looked situated, Abby handed off one of the bottles, earning her a soft smile from Raven in return. With a hand now free, she reached down into Nick’s crib and scooped him up. He squirmed a little bit, but Abby quickly got him settled against her own chest, before taking a seat beside Raven. They sat in relative silence then, side by side in their matching rocking chairs, and fed their boys. It was another one of those moments that Abby knew; no matter what happened with Dr. Sing’s trial, being at home with her wife and sons was more important than any amount of money.

The boys actually slept a full six hours that night, and even when they woke up, it was a slow process for both of them. Abby and Raven both woke up at the first signs of wakefulness from their sons, but when their noises stayed soft and happy, neither one of them rushed out of the bed to tend to them. Instead, they just enjoyed being wrapped in each other for a few extra minutes. They used the time to talk about the day’s schedule a little bit. Of course, Abby started that conversation; hosting a party without planning it, was freaking out her inner control freak a little bit. Raven almost seemed like she was ready for such a situation though, quickly reassuring her of all the details, saying, “Anya’s gonna stop around ten with the food, and then I’m going to the liquor store while you watch the boys. Jordan is coming at five, but I would bet Clarke and Lexa are here that early too, if not before… Guests should start getting here around six, but Anya thinks she and O won’t get here until around seven…” Raven’s words almost seemed practiced too, and when Abby called her out on it, Raven just said, “Yeah, Abs… we’re married, remember? Most of the time, I know what you’re gonna say before you actually even think it…” That earned a little grumble from Abby, but only because Raven was right. Out of everyone in the world, Raven knew her the best; probably better than she did herself.

The day mostly stuck to that plan too; Anya showed up at a few minutes after ten, the trunk of her car loaded full. There were several bags of ready-made appetizers, but there were a couple bags of ingredients too; all the stuff that Abby would need to make a few Octavia’s favorites. After they got everything inside, Abby fell right into the tasks Anya set out before her. She spent the next hour cutting up veggies and making three different kinds of dip for them. Once that was all arranged on a platter, she moved on the cake pops. It certainly was a healthy combination of things that Anya had asked her to make. Abby didn’t question it though; it wasn’t her birthday. Of course, Abby had never made cake pops before, so the first few weren’t exactly ‘presentable.’ When Raven came into the kitchen to snag one, Abby just told her to eat one the ugly ones.

Apparently, the boys were down for a nap, so Raven thought it was a good time for her to go the liquor store. Or, at least, that’s what Abby got from Raven trying to talk around her mouth full of cake pop. Abby agreed though, knowing that their alcohol supply was lacking at the moment. There were probably a few bottles of wine getting dusty in the bottom of the pantry, and that was about it. Raven seemed really excited about just getting to leave the house without the boys in tow, and Abby was happy for her too; she knew that over the last few months, Raven had really sacrificed things for their family. It was about time Abby got some alone time with her boys anyway.

After Raven left, Abby actually took a little break and made her way upstairs to the nursery, just to watch her babies sleep for a few minutes. She didn’t linger too long though; there were still plenty of things that needed doing in the kitchen. She decided to tackle the sandwich trays that Anya had planned next. The sandwiches were simple, just meat, cheese, lettuce and tomato; although in some cases, just cheese, lettuce and tomato. Even still, making four trays of finger sandwiches took a while. Luckily, the boys didn’t make a peep all afternoon. Before she knew it, Raven was back too, and Abby paused on her sandwich making to unload the booze from Raven’s truck. Upon seeing the number of bags, Abby immediately thought Raven had gone overboard. Much to her relief though, one of the bags was filled with mixers, and another two bags contained beer instead of liquor. Once it was all out the counter in the kitchen, Abby figured, it was good that they only had enough alcohol to give half of their expected guests’ alcohol poisoning. She made a mental note not to drink too much that night; at some point, someone would have to be sober enough to make rational decisions. Since it was her house, Abby figured it might as well be her.

At ten minutes to five, their first guest arrived, Jordan Green; well, he wasn’t really a guest, but Abby pretty much treated him as one anyway. She showed him into the kitchen for a snack before they went upstairs to check in with Raven and the boys. He seemed instantly comfortable with Jake and Nick, taking a few moments to hold each one before settling them in them on the floor for some tummy time. They chatted for few minutes too; Jordan explaining that he had brought plenty of schoolwork to keep himself busy when the boys were napping. Abby was glad for that, but she also told him that if he wanted to bring the boys down for a visit later that would be fine. She was sure he would want to say hello to his brother and Harper when they got there. She figured he’d probably get actually hungry at some point too.

Before she left him to go back downstairs to finish the food, she made sure to let him know that she and Raven were planning on sleeping in the first-floor bedroom that night, so he should consider the third floor his own for the evening. She assured him the sheets on their bed were clean, and there were clean towels laid out for him in the bathroom, if he felt like the boys were down for a while and he wanted to shower. She didn’t really worry about him leaving the boys alone for too long though, because despite not knowing him for more than a week or two, Jordan’s earnest and even-tempered attitude made him easy to trust. It helped that she knew she would be able to look in on them whenever she wanted to; either, on her phone through the ‘nanny-cam’ she’d had installed before the boys were born, or simply by going up the stairs to see for herself. It wasn’t that she was planning on being that over-protective and neurotic, but it was reassuring to have the option.

Maybe five minutes after Abby got back downstairs, Lexa and Clarke arrived; Lexa carrying two covered dishes, while Clarke had a big gift box in her arms. Abby nearly snickered when she saw the wrapping paper, as it was clearly intended for a child probably no more than five years old; gawdy and sparkly with little cartoon dogs on it. Clarke and Raven shared a good laugh about it too, Raven saying that she was sad their _kiddo_ was growing up, but the moment was quickly interrupted by a knock at the door. Grateful that people were actually reading the sign outside, and knocking instead of ringing the bell, Abby moved to it, opening the door without even looking. She was pleased to find Bellamy standing on the stoop, with his arm around Octavia’s trainer’s waist. Abby had only met Echo a couple of times, but as she and Bellamy entered the townhouse, Abby was surprised when Echo peeled herself away from Bellamy long enough to hug her, thanking Abby for throwing Octavia a party. Abby smiled and thanked Echo for coming before she got a similarly quick hug from Bellamy too. Bellamy seemed very excited to see his ‘nephews,’ and Abby felt her smile widening as she told him where he could find them. She made sure to tell them to knock before going into the nursey too, so they didn’t scare Jordan half to death. Watching Bellamy and Echo mount the stairs together, hand in hand, Abby couldn’t help but think what a cute couple they made.

After that, there was a knock at the door every five or ten minutes. Sometimes Abby answering, sometimes Raven, but as the townhouse got more crowded, it became harder and harder for them to even get to the door to answer it. That was alright though; it felt good to look around and see her family so surrounded by their friends; even if at one point, the front door was opening and closing so much that Abby actually heard the heat kick on. Still, she smiled when she noticed Raven chatting happily with Kyle and Lincoln.  Bellamy was standing a little apart from their group, holding Nick against his chest, cooing softly into his hair. Obviously, Bellamy was much more interested in the baby in his arms than anything else going on around him.

It was a little alarming, seeing her son surrounded by so much activity, but Abby could also see Jordan hovering a little behind Bellamy, clearly just as nervous as she was with his responsibility in Bellamy’s arms. Jordan kept glancing over to Clarke and Lexa too, looking torn, and Abby made sure to pass by him on the way over to her daughter, certain she would find Jake nestled in Clarke’s arms. Jordan gave her a sort of apologetic smile, saying that Bellamy had been insistent about ‘showing off his nephews.’ Abby stopped him before he could get much further than that though, telling him, “Just keep an eye on them… make sure Nick doesn’t get overstimulated, and I’ll go check on Jake.” She couldn’t really blame the kid for going along with whatever Bellamy had said. She knew Bellamy could be intimidating if he wanted to, being an alpha, but Bellamy probably wouldn’t even need his alpha status to intimidate Jordan. Just being taller and older was likely enough to sway the young omega.

Giving Jordan one last sympathetic smile and a little pat on the shoulder, she made her way over to Clarke and Lexa then. They had their backs to her and were talking with Echo and a couple of people Abby didn’t really know. She thought one of them was Echo’s business partner; Indra might have been her name, but the man standing with them, Abby had only ever seen from across the room at Polaris. She figured he must be Lexa’s business partner, Marcus, but Abby didn’t think she’d ever officially met him. She approached their group with those introductions in mind, only to butt into the conversation just as Lexa was about to share some big news.

Apparently, Abby wasn’t the only one with new things on the horizon, Lexa going on to explain that she was looking to sign a record deal. As the group congratulated Lexa, Abby tried to be happy for Lexa’s success as well, but really, all she could think about was how natural Clarke looked holding Jake; their matching blonde hair making them look more like mother and son than siblings. She couldn’t help but wonder then, when Clarke and Lexa would be ready for kids of their own. When her gaze caught with Clarke’s, it didn’t take Abby long to realize that maybe they were already ready. The smile on Clarke’s face reached all the way up to her eyes, and Abby found herself very much looking forward to the rest of the evening; certain from just that look, that Clarke and Lexa were planning to make the announcement at some point soon. Hopefully she wouldn’t have to wait too long; maybe all Clarke and Lexa were waiting for, was for the guest of honor to arrive.

 

~~~

 

Keeping Octavia’s birthday party a secret was probably one of the biggest challenges of Anya’s life. Part of it was Octavia’s nearly insatiable curiosity, always asking questions. Usually, Anya didn’t have the willpower to deny Octavia anything, much less lie to her. Although, sometimes in the bedroom, it was fun for both them to make Octavia wait for satisfaction. That was just another part of the problem; Anya never really had any alone time, with their apparent attachment at the hip. Not that she minded having Octavia with her pretty much all the time, but it definitely made it hard to do anything behind Octavia’s back. When Raven had texted her and offered to help, it was a relief, but only a bit of quick thinking on Anya’s part had saved them from being found out then too, Octavia walking in just as Anya was about to end their call. It was lucky that she had booked up her Thursday afternoon Tactics class earlier in the day, so she wasn’t exactly lying to Octavia; she merely turned the truth on its side a little bit.

With those last two slots filled though, Anya had filled her entire class schedule, and there simply wasn’t more time in the week to schedule another. To be honest, Anya was pretty excited about that actually, and she was glad that she was able share that excitement with Octavia, even if in a semi-nefarious way. Full-time employment was definitely cause for celebration, and when Octavia started dragging her towards the locker room, for a little slot-filling party of their own, Anya only felt a little guilty for keeping the surprise party from Octavia. If all went according to plan, Anya figured Octavia would end the night satisfied and sated anyway.

The night before the party, Raven’s helpfulness nearly blew their cover again though, when Raven sent Anya pictures of the decorations she’d put up on around the townhouse. Anya managed to delete to them before Octavia could catch a glimpse of them over her shoulder, but of course, Octavia noticed her shiftiness, and called her out on it, asking, “So… what’s that? Are you planning a surprise party for my birthday, or do you just have some other woman on the side?”

Nearly choking, Anya managed to keep herself from blurting out the whole plan right then, but she still stammered as she took the out Octavia offered her. When she jokingly said, “Oh… Ha-uh… Yeah, caught me… It’s another woman,” she quickly realized that that wasn’t the better of the two options. Octavia’s eyes shot wide and for a second Anya thought she might actually cry. Thinking quickly again, Anya decided that half-truths were still better than none, so she swiftly added, “Yeah, you might know her… Dark hair, about your height… Latino, goes by Raven… ring any bells?”

“Oh!” was all Octavia said at first, but then, of course, that insatiable curiosity kicked in and Anya cringed a little bit as she said, “What kind of pictures is Raven sending you that you feel the need to hastily delete them?”

Luckily, the first thing that came to Anya’s mind was the mis-text she’d gotten the day before, shortly after her phone call with Raven had ended. It was a picture of the inside of dirty diaper, with the caption, ‘Does this look normal to you?’ Obviously, Raven had meant the message for Abby, and Anya had politely alerted Raven to that fact, actually laughing out loud when Raven texted back, ‘Shit… Sorry, for the shit pic.’ Just the memory made her chuckle a little then too, and the warm, fun feeling made it that much easier for Anya to say, “A shit pic… Like a baby shit pic. She sent me one yesterday by accident, but apparently, now she thinks it’s funny.”

Quickly scrolling up to the picture from the day before, the one that she hadn’t deleted, Anya turned her phone to Octavia. She couldn’t help but laugh harder, when Octavia gagged and choked out, “Oh… Oh, god… that’s not normal…”

Their tension drifted away from there, but Anya still felt bad. She hated lying to Octavia, even if they were only half lies. She knew Octavia would love the party, and the surprise at the end, but still, she hated lying. She’d been taught better than that. It was another one of those things that Gustus had instilled in her at a young age; truth never damages a cause that is just. It took Anya a long time to really grasp that full meaning of that, but now that she was older, she knew; if she didn’t have any reason to lie, she knew she was doing the right thing. Throwing Octavia this party was the right thing to do though, so maybe that was why Anya felt so conflicted about it.

The worst lie of all came when she was trying to figure out how to get the food to Abby’s on the day of the party. She’d wanted to do it earlier in the week, but there just hadn’t been time. So, that morning, she’d had to hastily tell Octavia a complete lie. She’d put the story together as fast as she could, explaining that she needed to head over to Skai’s for a few minutes to wrap up something that she’d forgotten to do before the weekend started. It was the worst too, because Anya hadn’t intended on waking Octavia up at all, but she’d gotten wrapped up in the blankets and managed to rip them off of Octavia at seven-thirty in the morning on her actual birthday. She was pretty surprised when Octavia actually bought her flimsy excuse though, only grumbling about ‘breakfast in bed’ before rolling over and cuddling up with Anya’s pillow. Smiling, Anya had simply tucked Octavia back in under the covers, snuggling against her ear for a second before heading off to the grocery store instead of the gym.

Breakfast in bed was an easy enough request to fill though. Anya decided to swing by Grounder’s on her way back from dropping of the food stuffs at Abby and Raven’s place. She even extended an invite to the party to Roan before she left the shop, as a thank you for the free breakfast. Of course, she had tried to pay, but when Roan had gruffly said, “Birthdays usually meant gift giving, right?” she hadn’t had it in her to argue. She invited him to the party without a second thought, knowing that they would have plenty of food and booze to accommodate one more guest. He gratefully accepted too, saying, “I can’t think of a better way to spend my Saturday night, than with two of my favorite customers.” Anya knew he meant Lexa and herself, but she also knew that he thought of them as more than just customers too. He’d seen them both in the days after Costia’s death; he had known Costia himself and had shared in their loss, at least in some way. He was the only reason why Anya had been able to leave Lexa’s side, at least in the early days of her grief. Roan had personally delivered food to Lexa several times during those days, and it had been a huge comfort, knowing that Lexa would have food to eat, even if she didn’t have the willpower to make it herself. In spite of all that connection, Anya and Roan hadn’t ever grown close after that, even though Anya could tell he would be a good friend if she just took the time. She figured that the party was as good an excuse as any to rectify that oversight.

Returning home and finding Octavia still curled up in their bed was a blessing. Anya had been gone longer than she had really intended, and she hoped that with Octavia still asleep, she wouldn’t notice. Of course, Octavia did notice though, poking Anya with a dry piece of her bagel as she finally said, “You were gone an awfully long time, you know? You sure you’re not planning some big thing for my birthday?”

A deer in headlights was calmer than Anya at that point, but she managed not to stutter as she replied, “I do have a surprise, but it’s something you’ve been asking for, so I wouldn’t get too excited.” It was especially hard to keep her cool then, still speaking in half-truths. When Octavia gave her a mischievous little smile and popped that bit of bagel into her mouth, Anya had to bite her cheek to keep from spilling the beans. Somehow, Anya still managed to sound confident as she added, “And, don’t give me that smug look… you don’t have any idea what I have planned.”

The first part of what she had planned, was a spa day; complete with a deep tissue massage, a long soak in a mineral bath, and then topped off with an essential oil rub-down. She hoped it would leave them both feeling refreshed, or at least a little less worn-out. After spending twelve hours of a day most days at Skai’s, and Octavia bouncing back and forth between class and training, Anya knew Octavia had to feel just as drained as she did. When Anya finally ‘let her in on the secret,’ Octavia was beyond excited about it. Of course, Anya hadn’t shown her full hand, but that was also why she’d planned the spa trip during the day, to throw Octavia off of her bigger surprises.

All it had taken to get the spa trip going was a phone call, but it was organizing the surprise party that had really eaten up her already limited spare time that week. Anya knew it was going to worth it though, just to see the look on Octavia’s face. The last of her ‘surprises’ hadn’t taken nearly as much time to organize as the party, but that wasn’t to say that it was any easier. Truly, Anya didn’t think she’d ever had a more awkward conversation, and she and Octavia had had quite a few of those; trying to navigate their sometimes-complicated sex life meant being able to ask the hard questions, and answer them too. Of course, Anya had tried to be casual about it, rolling up to Raven’s repair shop with an unconvincing, “My car’s making a funny noise…” When she and Lincoln got out to the car to ‘take a look at it,’ it was all of thirty seconds before Anya dropped the pretense. She knew that if she didn’t just put it out there, she might actually chicken out, so, before Lincoln could even get the hood open, she turned to him and frankly asked, “So, what would you say if I asked you to have a threesome with Octavia and I?”

Lincoln’s eyebrows shot up, reaching for his non-existent hairline, and for a moment or two, he just blinked at her. As the silent shock continued, Anya thought she might have actually broken him, but eventually, he dipped his head just the slightest bit towards her car and cleared his throat before he said, “Uh… There’s nothing wrong with your car, huh?”

Chuckling, because she couldn’t help it, Anya shook her head in reply, amused that Lincoln had chosen to put off answering her question. She wasn’t quite sure what his deliberate avoidance meant, but at least he hadn’t laughed in her face. Their conversation would have been twice as embarrassing if he’d thought she was joking, only to realize that she was actually very serious. When he didn’t say anything else, Anya let him think, knowing that her proposition was sudden and certainly unexpected. She wouldn’t mind if he took a couple of days to think about it; although, she wasn’t sure what she would do for Octavia’s birthday if he turned her down that late in the game. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to need a few days to think. Instead, he stumbled a little bit as he finally asked, “Is this… it this something you’re both interested in? Or is this coming from Octavia and you’re just playing along to make her happy?”

It wasn’t really a question Anya had expected, but she didn’t find it difficult to answer either. She knew honesty was the only way to get through this situation, so she confidently said, “I would be lying if I said this was my idea, but I’m definitely not opposed to sharing… at least with the right person.” She could hear the ‘Why me?’ right on the tip of Lincoln’s tongue, and instead of allowing the conversation to linger too long, she spoke just before he did, adding, “You were the only person we could agree on. No one else got more than a mention, much less a discussion like this one.” The implication seemed to be enough to reassure Lincoln somewhat, but Anya could still see the wheels turning inside his head. At his hesitance, she wondered if Lincoln still wouldn’t want to get involved with Octavia because of his work relationship with Bellamy. When he glanced in the direction of the shop, Anya didn’t have to wonder anymore; the look on his face was still apprehensive at best. Bellamy didn’t need to know though, and before she could really censor herself, she said, “Bellamy would never have to know, about this conversation or anything that comes out of it…”

Lincoln’s laughter was totally unexpected then, and Anya couldn’t help wincing at how it sounded, almost maniacal. Lincoln’s next words were even more unexpected however, when he jokingly said, “Oh, I don’t need to worry about Bellamy... I know where all his bodies are buried now.” It was a cryptic statement, and it was obviously meant to be, but before Anya got a chance to ask him what that was about, Lincoln reached out and opened the driver’s side door of her car. She smiled as he went through the motions of checking out her car, popping the hood so he could poke around. She didn’t look, but she thought she felt someone watching them from inside the shop. She was suddenly very thankful they had chosen Lincoln for this; his mind clearly just as sharp as the cut of his muscles. She continued to watch as he moved around the front end of the car and leaned in under the open hood, fishing a flashlight out of his back pocket. His ruse was almost good enough to convince Anya something was actually wrong with her car; that is, until she heard him speak. His voice was muffled from his position, headfirst into the engine compartment, but still she could just make out his question, “Let’s say I’m… interested… when did think that this might happen?”

That was a question Anya had hoped for though, one she was more than ready to answer, and she beamed as she said, “I was thinking Saturday night, after her birthday party… You know, a special birthday surprise?”

It was quiet for a moment, baring Lincoln’s soft chuckle, and Anya was sure he was thinking about her choice of words, like Lincoln was to be gift wrapped and given to Octavia like a present. She hadn’t planned on actually wrapping him, but she couldn’t help joining in with him, offering a little laugh herself. Lincoln was purposely not looking at her though, and maybe it was just part of the ruse, but she thought she saw him bury his head a little deeper into the engine then. There was a little panicked flutter in her chest, her head rushing, thinking maybe Lincoln was stringing her along, but then another muffled question floated out from under the hood, “And, how deep were thinking my involvement with the two of you would be?”

Despite going over this conversation a hundred times in her head, Anya hadn’t anticipated that. Of course, Lincoln would want to know what his role would be, and why she hadn’t thought of that she wasn’t sure either. Without a quick answer at the ready, so she took a long moment to really consider his question, and her answer, before she finally said, “I think that depends mostly on you.” Even with her careful consideration, she hadn’t really meant for her words to sound the way they did when they came out. She immediately winced when she realized she’d implied that Lincoln could get as deep as he physically could, but when she thought about it, she realized that was probably fairly accurate too.

After much discussion, she and Octavia had only set a few hard boundaries; the most stringent of which being that only Anya would be fucking Octavia’s ass, at any point in the near or far future. It was something Anya had been almost adamant about; partly because she wanted to keep something just for them, but she wasn’t ready to trust anyone else with the tighter of Octavia’s entrances either. She knew that the wrong angle or too much enthusiasm could really do damage, and the last thing Anya wanted was for Octavia to end up hurt. With anal, she didn’t even want Octavia to be uncomfortable in any way. Of course, it hadn’t really taken much to convince Octavia of that stipulation; if anything, Octavia seemed just as excited about keeping that just for them. The only other thing that Anya had insisted on, was that no one else was allowed to come inside Octavia; at least until Anya got to first. Until Octavia went off the suppressants, there would a condom in between her and anyone else. Octavia had readily agreed to that too, saying she didn’t like the idea any more than Anya did.

All the other things that she and Octavia had agreed on were things that they didn’t do alone together anyway, so, as long as Lincoln wasn’t into anything too far outside their comfort zone, Anya figured they wouldn’t have any problems enjoying their evening. Sooner or later, Lincoln’s snorted response broke through Anya’s thoughts though, as he said, “I guess I’ll see you Saturday night then.” For a moment, all Anya could do was stare at him. It was almost like she hadn’t actually heard him, like she’d just made up his response in her head, but as he backed away from her car and closed the hood, she caught the smirk on his face. When their eyes met, a silent understanding passed between them; Lincoln would be at the party, and he would be going home with them afterwards. His smirk turned a little wicked then, and Anya nearly groaned when he said, much more loudly than before, “I don’t see a thing wrong… except maybe you just need a whole new car. Your timing belt could go any minute, the radiator is on its last legs, and I’m sure that battery is half as old as I am… What kind of crackpot mechanic have you been taking this baby to?” Shaking her head, Anya laughed at his antics, but she couldn’t stop herself from giving him a little wink before they parted ways, knowing that the next time they saw each other, they would be _seeing_ a lot more of each other.

Of course, all that careful planning would be for nothing, if Anya couldn’t get Octavia out of the bathroom. She’d locked herself in there, almost an hour prior, claiming that she needed ‘to get ready without Anya distracting her.’ For the first fifteen minutes, Anya was getting ready herself, but after nearly forty-five minutes of just waiting, she was worried that if they didn’t hurry, people might actually start to leave before they even got there. She texted Abby periodically, to keep her updated, but Anya hadn’t gotten much in the way of response, only a simple reply to her first message, ‘Just let us know when you get here and we’ll be ready…’

After another few minutes, Anya finally couldn’t take the waiting anymore and called out through the bathroom door, “Babe, I’m sure you look great… It’s just dinner at Abby and Raven’s, not some big fancy restaurant… Nobody is gonna care if just one hair is out of place…” She planned to keep taunting Octavia until she opened the door, but it was only another few seconds before said door opened anyway. In that instant, all other thoughts were wiped from Anya’s mind. Octavia was always the epitome of beauty, easily the most gorgeous person Anya had ever seen, but that extra hour in the bathroom had given Octavia the opportunity to make herself look _flawless_. It was all the little details that really did it too; Octavia’s make-up was simple, highlighting without being obvious, and her hair had been straightened and then braided, hanging down her back in a picture-perfect, yet unassuming, sort of way.

Of course, the style left the skin of Octavia’s neck delectably bare, and Anya didn’t hesitate to press in close to her space; Octavia was already pulling her into the bathroom anyway. The second Anya’s lips met skin, Octavia sighed and nearly collapsed into her arms. It was obvious that Octavia was making a play for staying in for the night, but as tempting as that idea was, Anya held to her guns. She didn’t forcibly push Octavia away, instead holding Octavia still while she herself took a step back. Octavia whined at the distance Anya put between them, but still Anya held fast, only dipping forward enough to whisper, “dinner first, then dessert,” against Octavia’s lips, before gracefully leading them towards the door.

True to form, Octavia didn’t stop trying to seduce her, even after they got to the car and were pulling away from the curb. About halfway to Abby and Raven’s, Anya considered pulling over into a dark parking lot and teaching Octavia a little lesson in patience, but then she noticed the time. They were already a full half-hour later than she had told Abby they would be, so she gritted her teeth and bore it as Octavia did some absolutely torturous things to her. Octavia started out by dragging her nails over the inseam of Anya’s jeans as she whispered, “do you think you could keep your eyes on the road if I pushed my hand down your pants right now?”  When that didn’t break Anya, Octavia changed tactics, dragging those same nails over the center of her own tights, saying things like, “I wish you weren’t driving so you could watch me… I know how much you love watching me…”

At that, Anya had had enough, reaching across the center console to grab the scruff of Octavia’s neck and growling as she replied, “If you know me so well… then you know I don’t like it when you touch things that don’t belong to you without permission… You’ll definitely be paying for this later, baby girl...” Octavia sighed happily, relaxing back into her seat, obviously pleased with Anya’s rough grip and rougher words. Anya relaxed a little too, knowing that they would both enjoy any kind of punishment Anya doled out. She worried her lip between her teeth a little bit though, thinking that maybe she should try to steer Octavia away from those specific scenarios. She had feeling that once she made Octavia aware of her true plan, Octavia probably wouldn’t be interested in ‘punishment’ after that. Taking complete control of Octavia like that was something that felt utterly private anyway. It was the way Octavia trusted her that made it seem so sacred, and with someone else present, Anya wasn’t sure she would be able to relax into a scene the way she would want. She decided to play it by ear though, hoping that their night would go as smoothly as possible; preferably with multiple orgasms all around.

Pulling up in front of the townhouse, Anya finally let go of the back of Octavia’s neck, hoping beyond hope that she hadn’t left a mark. Walking in late, to her own surprise party, with claw marks on the back of her neck, wasn’t exactly what Anya wanted for Octavia’s big entrance; specifically, because Anya knew everyone would be crowded around the front door for the ‘Surprise!’ part of the party. If she had left a mark, at least everyone would probably see it at once. Remembering the crowd, Anya thought it was strange that she’d gotten a parking spot so close to the townhouse. She quickly rationalized that though; people probably took public transportation, or maybe parked around the corner so Octavia wouldn’t get suspicious. Once she was fully into the spot, she scanned the car’s mirrors, just to make sure they weren’t about to bump into someone they shouldn’t. The coast seemed clear, so Anya chanced a little glance over at Octavia too. She was beyond relieved when only a little redness lingered where her hand had just been on the back of Octavia’s neck.

Whipping out her phone then, Anya said, “I’m just gonna let them know we’re here so we don’t have to ring the bell…” Octavia merely nodded in response, moving to pull out her own phone for a moment too. Anya typed in her quick message to Abby, straightforwardly, ‘We’re here!’ She was relieved again when she got an almost immediate response. It was just a thumbs-up emoji, but Anya knew what Abby meant; they’d be ready by the time she and Octavia got to the door. She hustled out of the car then, moving around it to open the passenger’s side door so Octavia could get out. Octavia’s smile was warm and appreciative when she looked up at her, and Anya couldn’t resist offering her a hand up out of the car. From there, it wasn’t a stretch to pull Octavia into her arms, and Anya didn’t fight that urge either, pulling Octavia into a warm and appreciative hug as well. They lingered there for moment or two, just holding each other on the sidewalk, before Anya finally pulled back a little and asked quietly, “you ready?”

Octavia just hugged her tighter for a second and Anya wondered what was going on, but then Octavia nodded against her shoulder and replied, “Yeah, I guess… The faster we get this over with, the faster I get my dessert…” Anya just chuckled as she started to lead Octavia towards the townhouse then, thinking that Octavia’s attitude would probably change the second the front door opened. That was a little bittersweet thought though, because while Anya was very much looking forward to ‘dessert,’ she knew she would be waiting a while before that happened. Of course, she didn’t mind waiting; especially, if it meant Octavia got to have a real birthday party. Being in the foster system, Anya was sure Octavia hadn’t always had someone to care about her birthday, but Anya figured she could start making up for that directly. She would go through all this planning and preparation every year, if it meant that Octavia never had another bad birthday.

As they approached the door, there weren’t any usual sounds coming from inside, just Raven’s boisterous laugh and Lexa’s baleful chuckle, but when Anya knocked, all sounds on the other side of the door stopped. Not two seconds later, that door flew open, revealing at least fifteen people stuffed into the front foyer, all shouting “Surprise!” right in their faces. If Anya hadn’t been expecting it, she probably would have squealed, so very unlike the strong, silent alpha image she always tried to project. Octavia obviously wasn’t as prepared and absolutely shrieked in her excitement and alarm. In the next moment, when Octavia looked back at her, eyes full of unshed tears, Anya knew she’d done a good job with her first two surprises, but now she just had to make good on her third one too.

 

~~~

 

Holding Jake in her arms felt like the most natural thing in the world. Maybe that was because of the news she’d gotten the day before, but Clarke couldn’t help but smile as she looked down at his sleepy face, thinking that it would only be about seven and a half months before she was holding a little Jake of her own. Of course, she wasn’t planning on naming her baby Jake, or Nick for that matter. She wasn’t even sure if her baby would be a boy, but she was pregnant. There was no doubt about that. Dr. Walker had said her test results were definitive, unquestionable, and as those words left her doctor’s mouth, Clarke felt like she could breathe for the first time in a week. It had been hard, the constant waiting, trying to live with that kind of anticipation, but on the way home from that appointment, it was even harder not to call every member of her family and tell them everything. She and Lexa had decided to wait until the party and then tell everyone at once, hoping that none of the family would feel slighted by being the last to know. It made sense; Lexa’s suggestions always made sense, but that didn’t mean that Clarke wasn’t a nervous wreck about it.

When she’d been getting ready for the party, Clarke had worried about what it was going to be like, being in the same room with her mother and not be able to tell her some of the best news of her life. Luckily, the other partygoers had provided enough distractions that she’d managed to avoid Abby for the most part. At least, for the first half-hour or so. After that, it was like her mother was there every time she turned around. When she looked up from the little, cooing boy in her arms, she caught sight of her mother watching her from across the room. When she turned away from the conversation going on around her, intending to survey the room, she found Abby standing a few feet away with a soft smile on her face; again, watching her.

There was this ‘knowing’ sort of look in her mother’s eyes too, and it unsettled Clarke a little bit. It was as if her mother knew she was pregnant just from looking at her. She smiled despite her unease, hoping that when she turned back to the group around her, that her smile had seemed even the slightest bit genuine. As Marcus and Echo amicably chatted back and forth, Clarke tried to put that shrewd look out of her mind. She tried to concentrate on the people in front her, and the things they were saying, but then her mother came over and joined them. There was no more avoiding her after that, pinned in close to the wall, with Lexa and her mother on one side and Marcus and Echo and Indra on the other.

Clarke knew Marcus, and she’d met Echo before too, but Indra was a bit of an unknown entity. She seemed stiff and regimented at first, but it hadn’t taken much to endear Indra to Clarke either. When Indra explained she’d known Octavia since she was a minor, Clarke was all too eager to pepper her with questions about high-school-aged Octavia. However, with her mother standing there, Clarke found it harder and harder to talk at all. The guilt of not telling her mother seemed to weigh on her heavier and heavier the longer they stood there. Eventually, introductions had been made all around; Abby being the polite hostess Clarke knew she would be, but then, when Abby turned to her, with her arms out, obviously wanting to take Jake, Clarke felt like holding the boy was the only thing keeping her from screaming. She handed him over with a smile anyway, though she was sure it was more strained than she meant it to be. That perceptive look was back in her mother’s eye then, and Clarke had to physically bite her cheek to keep from telling her mother everything right then. The second her arms were empty though, she felt one of Lexa’s hand wrap around one of her own. While the contact helped, from Lexa’s tight grip, Clarke knew it _definitely_ wasn’t time yet.

They had a whole plan about making their announcement; they planned on doing it at the party, but they were waiting for Octavia and Anya to arrive before they broke the news to anyone else. When they’d first discussed ‘the plan,’ it had been Lexa who wanted to check with Octavia before they said anything; just to make sure Octavia didn’t mind sharing her spotlight a little bit. Clarke was so wrapped up in how she felt, that she hadn’t even thought of that; and, that was more than a little disturbing too.  When she realized how selfish she was being, she felt repulsed. She couldn’t believe she actively wanted to disrupt Octavia’s birthday party, without even thinking about her friend’s feelings. Of course, at the time, Clarke had been overwrought with guilt, but ultimately, it was that reminder, to not be selfish, that steadied Clarke enough to where she actually managed to start enjoying the party again.

Abby only stuck around for a few more minutes of chatting before she wandered off, saying she was going to go find Jordan, so they could put the twins down for the night. That helped Clarke focus a little better too, not having her mother looming over her with that look in her eyes. The constant swirl of people through the living room distracted her from her deeper thoughts as well. She saw several people that she knew, or at least that she recognized; one of which was Ontari, who Clarke thought was more of a frenemy at that point. Then, there was the guy that owned the coffee shop down the street from her apartment; maybe, his name was Roan? Lexa was the one who always made the coffee runs on Saturday mornings, so Clarke had really only met him a couple times. She saw a few people by the door that she didn’t know, but Clarke didn’t really think anything of it when Raven hobbled over to them and started chatting. With her eyes already turned towards the door, she was a little surprised to see her mom’s old protégé, Eric Jackson, walk in, with a very familiar woman on his arm. Clarke knew that face; she just couldn’t place it. That is, until the woman turned towards her fully and she was struck with a sudden memory: staring across her father’s coffin at that face. As sad as that memory was, she was happy to see Jackson and Cece together. It was a bit strange seeing both her parent’s apprentices with matching rings, but it made sense too. What she knew of them both, they were quite similar; both driven, yet friendly, people who just wanted to help others. Sometimes, that worked out better than others too; Cece had been the first person to find her father. She’d been the one who kept him alive until emergency services arrived.

Trying to push aside her darker thoughts, Clarke gave Lexa’s hand a little reassuring squeeze before she let go, butting into the conversation when she could to say, “I’m gonna go get another drink… Anybody want a refill?” Seeing shaking heads all around, Clarke smiled at Lexa once more before making her way to the kitchen. It was a little surprising to find the kitchen empty, but Clarke figured maybe people were waiting for the birthday girl before they really started drinking. It was still kind of early, so there was that too. She slowly made herself another green-plastic cup full of juice, actually enjoying the moment of quiet, but much to her chagrin, when she turned back towards the living room, she found her mother blocking the doorway. Clarke hoped she could try to ‘smile and nod’ and then step by Abby without actually speaking to her, but she couldn’t avoid that knowing look anymore. Especially, when she noticed it was finally complete, with the addition of her mother’s smug smirk.

Abby knew; there was no question about it, but if Clarke expected her mother to ask her outright, she was sadly disappointed. Her mother was usually a very direct person when it came to things like sex and personal health, but there was only the slightest lilt in her voice as she simply said, “If you’re staying sober, does that mean I can have another?” Thrown, Clarke felt her brow crinkle at the question, thinking maybe her mom didn’t know as much as she was letting on, but then Abby softly added, “the mocktail’s a nice touch too, by the way...”

“How did you—” was as far as Clarke got before her throat dried up. The rest of her question was pretty obvious though, and Clarke watched as Abby answered it, with a glance down at her midsection. That was when Clarke realized that her free hand had come to rest low onto her belly; her instincts making the move to protect her unborn child, even when there wasn’t any real threat. Apparently, her mother’s strong alpha presence was enough to inspire the reaction, and she quickly realized that she’d tried to make the same motion earlier when Abby had taken Jake from her arms. Only Lexa’s grip had kept her from cradling her belly then too. Lexa was still in the other room though, and suddenly, Clarke felt the distance like it was a mile instead of just a few feet. “God, it’s so obvious, isn’t it?” she muttered then, mostly just thinking aloud. It was only a few seconds before her whole world tilted on its axis again, as she felt her mother’s arms wrap around her shoulders. She shook for a moment, still unable to fully process what was happening, but eventually she returned the embrace, pulling her mother closer as she felt tears well up in her eyes. They were tears of joy, but of guilt too; guilt at not having actually gotten to tell her mother herself. It wasn’t long before those tears brimmed over either, Clarke’s emotions choking her as she coughed out, “I— I’m— sorry,” between sobs.

Her mother just held her for a moment, squeezing her tight. So tight, that Clarke could feel her smiling against the side of her head. Abby’s lips pressed into her hair for a second too, before she whispered, “Don’t worry about it, Clarke… I’m too happy for you to worry about anything right now...” Clarke sank into her mother’s warm words, sighing as she felt lips press into her hair again and hold themselves there. Maybe only a minute later, a clearing throat sounded out from the doorway, and Clarke tilted her head up just in time to catch Marcus’ eyes and he said, “Anya’s car just pulled up.” There was a small smile on his face, but it was only visible for a second before he simply turned back towards the living room.

The moment they had all been waiting for had arrived, and that meant, the moment she was sharing with her mother was over. Clarke dutifully pulled herself away from her mother and got a small watery smile from Abby before she turned to follow Marcus. Clarke scrubbed the tears from her face as she went along behind them. She grabbed Lexa’s hand as soon as she was close enough, giving Lexa her best ‘she’s knows’ look before glancing back at her mother again. Abby was looking at them too, fixing Lexa with the knowing look this time. It was a little more aggressive than before too; more like, ‘I know you got my daughter pregnant.’ Clarke didn’t let it get to her; she didn’t even give Lexa enough time to notice either, quickly pulling Lexa along towards the front door to await the ‘Surprise!’ part of the party. Surely, it wouldn’t be more than a minute before Octavia and Anya were on the stoop waiting to be let in. She got settled in beside Raven, right in front of the door, with Lexa still beside her. She smiled when her mom and Bellamy and Echo filed in right behind them. Over their shoulders Clarke could see most of the rest of the party packed in behind them. Bellamy whispered something about Japanese elevators, and while Clarke didn’t get the joke, Lexa and Raven obviously thought it was hilariously funny, laughing to the point they almost covered the soft knock at the door.

All movement stopped, all sound too, as everyone held their breath. Raven reached out and grabbed the door handle, and Clarke put three fingers up for the countdown. Then, in 3…2… 1… Raven wrenched the door open. The cacophony of the “Surprise!” sounded more like they were singing in a round than all in sync, but as Clarke watched Octavia’s face light up, shining and joyous, she figured it didn’t matter if it was perfectly together; it was perfect anyway. She pulled the squealing Octavia into the house then, Octavia half-dragging Anya by the wrist too. The crowded foyer quickly started to filter out into the rest of the house, and the tables turned; Clarke finding herself being dragged along behind Octavia instead.

Ultimately, they ended up in the kitchen, Octavia babbling happily about birthday shots. When Octavia set out three glasses, Clarke’s eyes went wide, not sure how to keep from taking that shot without really giving herself away. She tried to play it off, saying she already had a drink and didn’t need a shot, but Octavia wasn’t hearing it, shaking her head as she continued to pour their shots, saying, “I can’t believe you guys pulled this off… I really thought we were just having dinner… I’m glad I spent all that extra time getting ready now…”

Watching in horror as Octavia finished topping off the shots, Clarke was still desperately trying to figure out a way around actually drinking hers, when Anya finally called out, “Uh… Babe?” Clarke almost laughed at how quickly Octavia’s head snapped around, but Octavia’s eyes only fixed on Anya for a second before Octavia followed Anya’s eyeline, right to her belly. Clarke sighed, realizing that her hand was resting protectively over her midsection again, and again, her damned instincts had given her away. She doubted if there was anyone left at the party that didn’t at least suspect that she was pregnant.

Of course, she didn’t have to long ponder that either, because she barely got a chance to swallow a groan before Octavia was shouting, “You’re Pregnant?!” over and over again. There really wasn’t any doubt about whether people knew or not, because both doorways into the kitchen soon filled with smiling faces.

In that crowd was Lexa’s face though, and Clarke felt her heart calm at the sight of her mate smiling at her like that; like she was the most important person on the planet. Lexa was already pushing through the crowd to get to her too, and it seemed like only a moment before Lexa’s arms were around her. Clarke sighed, feeling utterly relieved to be surrounded by Lexa’s protective scent. All eyes in the room were still on them though, and that number was growing still as Clarke heard a couple more people stumble into the already crowded room. She pulled her face away from Lexa’s shoulder, shooting an ‘I’m sorry’ look at Octavia as she finally replied, “We found out yesterday… We were just waiting for you guys to get here before we told anyone…”

The collective “Congratulations!” that she and Lexa got was much like the cacophony of their “Surprise!” for Octavia had been; all disjointed and repeated, but again, it was no less perfect because of it. Eventually, the flurry of activity and excitement died down though, as people said they piece and then filtered back out of the kitchen. Some people headed out onto the back porch to light a fire in the chiminea, while others moved back to the living room. It seemed like only a minute or two before Clarke found herself alone in the kitchen with just the closest of her family surrounding her; Lexa of course, and her mother and Raven, and Octavia and Anya as well.

For just a few minutes, they were the calm in the middle of the storm; all three couples standing together, yet apart. No one spoke; they just shared the relative silence together, all smiles and happy sighs. Of course, that moment couldn’t last forever, not in the middle of a party in full swing. Almost simultaneously, there was the sound of something breaking outside, and Jordan Green was peeking around the corner of the doorway into the living room, as he said, “Uh, Dr. Griffin, do you think you could give me a hand for a minute?”

Watching as her mother and Raven separated; Abby heading for Jordan and Raven excusing herself to go deal with whatever breakage that was going on outside, Clarke burrowed closer into Lexa’s chest, feeling the need to just be closer to her. It was only the four of them in the kitchen then, and while Clarke didn’t know what made her say it, but she couldn’t help herself as she asked, “So… when are you guys gonna jump on the baby train?”

Watching as Octavia’s eyes went wide, Clarke almost wished she hadn’t said anything, but then Anya shifted to wrap her arms around Octavia from behind, and Octavia’s face relaxed a little as Anya said, “Maybe when you guys are having number two… but we’re not in any rush…”

That was obviously news to Octavia, but she was smiling too, so Clarke figured she didn’t actually mind Anya’s answer, just maybe hadn’t expected it. Octavia confirmed that assumption a moment later, when she laughingly said, “Yeah, definitely no rush.”

The party moved on after that, and so did Clarke; Octavia and Anya heading outside to check out the fire, while she and Lexa made their way into the living room instead. Lexa said they needed to make their rounds, to talk to everyone now that they’d made their big announcement. Clarke really would have enjoyed checking out the fire, but she knew Lexa was right. Surely, there would be more congratulations to get out of the way. One of those conversations would be with Niylah and Monroe too. They’d actually arrived a few minutes after Octavia and Anya had, and hadn’t heard their big news. Of course, Clarke was more than a little nervous to tell Niylah about her pregnancy, knowing that in about seven months, she would probably be of little help at the supply store, or their budding gallery, but Niylah shocked her with a heavy hug, telling her she couldn’t be happier for her. Monroe was a little more subdued, shaking Lexa’s hand and nodding their congratulations to Clarke from a few steps away, but the smile on Monroe’s face was enough to let Clarke know that they thought her news was indeed good news.

After excusing them from Niylah and Monroe, Clarke allowed Lexa to lead her towards the bathroom, Lexa claiming that the two beers she’d had needed to come out. Clarke laughed at the crude way Lexa put it, but after a few drinks Lexa always got a little looser, and honestly, Clarke loved the jovial, almost juvenile, side of Lexa. She waited calmly outside the first-floor bathroom while Lexa relieved herself, and then went in after Lexa was done and did the same. They stopped and talked with Marcus and Indra on their way back towards the party, getting another round of congratulations from them as well. That conversation didn’t last very long though, as Lexa started pulling her towards the kitchen after only a minute or two. Clarke didn’t know what that was about, but Lexa eventually explained, saying, “I think they were trying to have a private moment before we walked up…”

When they made their way back around to the kitchen, they found Harper and her boyfriend, Monty, sharing a not-so-private moment with Jasper and his girlfriend, Maya. Harper and Monty were bumping butts as the leaned into the fridge together, laughing and bickering about what kind of mixer they should use, while Jasper and Maya leaned against the opposite counter, watching them. They both had big smiles on their faces, obviously enjoying the view Harper and Monty were presenting for them. It was a little awkward, Clarke taking a moment to wonder how that worked, but she was pushing those thoughts aside just as quickly as they came. She focused on just Harper instead, as she backed out of the fridge and moved to wrap Clarke in a big hug. If the smell of alcohol on Harper’s breath was anything to go by, she’d had a few, but Clarke couldn’t be upset about her enthusiasm. That was just who Harper was, obviously as happy drunk as she was sober. Looking over Harper’s shoulder, Clarke saw Jasper and Maya straighten up a little bit, obviously embarrassed that they’d been caught staring, but Clarke offered them a soft smile, hoping to allay any worries they may have had about her opinion on their relationship. If they were happy and healthy, that was all anyone could ask for anyway.

Apparently, somewhere in their rounds, she and Lexa had missed the pinata getting smashed to bits by Octavia; probably when they’d been talking with Niylah and Monroe. When they eventually made their way back into the living room again though, Clarke definitely didn’t miss the way Wick and Emori were canoodling on the couch. With how close they were, sitting practically on top of each other, Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if they were becoming more than just employee and employer. She wouldn’t judge them if they were; she only hoped that if they decided to pursue some sort of relationship, work wouldn’t get in the way. At one point, Clarke thought they looked close to kissing, but she allowed herself to get distracted when Luna started sneaking her way over to the stereo. Clarke smiled when she recognized the new song, one of Lexa’s, and she couldn’t stop herself from starting a little dance party, right there in the middle of her mother’s living room. Lexa was by her side after only a second or two, and Clarke sank into Lexa’s embrace as they started to move together. A few others joined them, and even Emori and Wick detached themselves from the couch long enough to dance for a few minutes too. It seemed like before Clarke knew it, people were all around her, all moving to Lexa’s music, and for several minutes, Clarke just let herself get swept up in the flow; the only thing tethering her to the ground being Lexa’s hands bracketing her hips.

Eventually she started feeling a little dehydrated, and decided she needed another ‘mocktail.’ She was going to opt for water instead juice this time though, trying to keep her sugar intake in check, but as they entered the kitchen, she and Lexa found the oddest conversation going on. Gustus was talking with Tris, having a serious, yet nearly belligerent, debate about the police force’s recruiting procedures. Obviously, Tris wasn’t happy with the way things were done, and seemed even less happy when Gustus offered to put in a good word for her. Lexa was actually the one that diffused that situation though. It didn’t take her long to convince Tris that she could affect change better from inside the force, instead of out. By the time they were done talking, Tris had changed her tune, gratefully accepting Gustus’ offer of a good word when he made it again. Lexa’s cool head never ceased to amaze Clarke; even four or five drinks in, Lexa could still think logically enough to turn an argument into an agreement. They were still discussing policy and procedure when Clarke excused herself to the bathroom, promising Lexa she’d come find her when she was done.

Being the only sober person at the party had become quite the trial though, as people had gotten more on the drunk side of tipsy. She bobbed around stumbling people as she made her way through the living room, only to find Jasper stumbling out the bathroom when she got there too. She was pretty sure he’d been ‘worshiping at the porcelain altar,’ but she knew he also thought of himself as a bit of a professional. True to form, she watched as he headed back towards the kitchen, mumbling something about getting another drink. On her own way back towards the kitchen a few minutes later, she spotted Ontari and Roan in the backyard along the fence. Ontari was holding Roan’s hair back with one hand and patting his back with other, laughing the whole time as she loudly said, “I— It’s alright man… be-better out than in...” It seemed that even her mother had managed to tie one on pretty well too, cornering Clarke in the hallway into the kitchen and slurring her way through a conversation about which prenatal vitamins Clarke should be taking and why. It was all Clarke could do to keep from laughing when Abby drunkenly stuttered over which brand was best and which was the worst. Thankfully, Raven came by after a few minutes and rescued her, drawing the blabbering Abby away, saying that they needed her help with something in the backyard. Clarke did laugh when her mom had to lean on Raven as they walked away, but she figured it was good that her mom had someone so willing to care for her, even when she let herself get a little out of control.

When Clarke didn’t find Lexa in the kitchen, Clarke decided to make another round and see where she had wandered off to. As she made her way through the living room again, she thought that everyone must have snuck another drink while she was talking with her mom. At least, it seemed like the party was winding down, instead of still ramping up. She spotted Wick and Emori, still on the couch, but actively making out this time. She turned away from them pretty quick, trying to offer them some privacy, even if they were the ones kissing in the middle of the living room. She saw Jasper and Monty sloshing along the music as Harper and Maya watched. Luna was only a couple of steps to their left, probably the most sober looking one of them all, but still, she was swaying pretty heavily too. Even Jackson and Cece looked like they’d more than few as well, Cece leaning heavily into Jackson’s side as they made their way towards the front door. Clarke followed them, of course, just to make sure neither of them was driving, but she was glad to see it, when they climbed into the back of a cab together.

A loud scuffling noise attracted her attention then, coming from somewhere down the front hallway. Being a little curious, Clarke ducked her head around the corner to see who could be making that kind of noise. When she found Bellamy, pressed face first into the wall, with Echo pinning him there, she nearly squeaked in surprise. She knew from previous experience, and from stories Octavia had told her, that Bellamy was usually a bit of an angry drunk, but obviously, that had changed. From his tightly shut eyes and flushed cheeks, she could tell he was enjoying himself, but if she didn’t know any better, Clarke would think that Echo was actually the alpha in their relationship. She started to back away slowly then, trying to get away before either of them noticed her, but even with the extra distance, she was still close enough to hear it when Echo purred, “God, as much as I love it when you fight me… I love it even more when you’re _this_ drunk, _this_ easy… I bet you’re wet and open for me already, aren’t you?” Nearly squeaking again, Clarke turned right around then, heading off in the first available direction, up the stairs. With every step she took, she prayed that neither of them realized she had overheard that little tidbit. She quickly decided to make her way towards the second-floor bathroom then, hoping to take a few minutes to try to wipe _certain images_ out of her mind before going back downstairs.

By the time Clarke actually found Lexa again, she’d definitely had a few more drinks, and to say Lexa was _loose_ then, would have been an understatement. She and Anya were in the kitchen, arm-wrestling over the breakfast bar. When Anya pinned her wrist to counter, Lexa immediately demanded a do-over, loudly claiming that she _wasn’t ready_. As much as Clarke loved Lexa, she knew Lexa wasn’t any match for Anya’s practiced strength, and Anya simply beat her a second time, like it took no effort at all. Lexa didn’t fight the loss that time; instead, she just slumped off her stool in defeat, turning away from the breakfast bar like she was looking for another drink to wash away the failure. That sullen mood didn’t last long, Lexa outright giggling when she spotted Clarke standing in the doorway. The sound made Clarke’s eyebrows raise, and she realized, maybe, Lexa had had more than just a few. Even as Lexa wobbled over to her, Clarke spotted someone else stepping up to the bar in her place.

Apparently, Lincoln wanted to test his strength against Anya as well. He took a moment to show off a little bit, rolling his shoulders and flexing his muscles before he sat down across from her. They clasped hands a moment later, but while Lincoln looked deadly serious, there was something playful going on in Anya’s eyes. It was sort of distracting, but Clarke still caught Anya’s glance over at Octavia before she and Lincoln started their battle. It was obvious Lincoln should have won, with his impressive upper body muscles, but Anya was pressing just as hard against his hand, and the two became locked in a momentary stalemate. They sneered and glared at each other then, but their little growls sounded more like laughing than anything else. Their sneers looked more like smiles too, and suddenly, Clarke realized why. Anya and Lincoln had planned this; a little display of power to attract attention, and from the slack jawed, almost drooling, look on Octavia’s face, Clarke figured they were getting exactly what they were after too.

 

~~~

 

Walking into the surprise party, instead of the quiet dinner Octavia was expecting, was a little overwhelming; especially because Anya had done such a good job selling it. She knew Anya had been hiding things from her all week, but she’d tried not to pry too much, knowing that Anya wanted to surprise her with something for her birthday. The spa day had been a good distraction, and by the time they’d gotten to Raven and Abby’s, Octavia was thoroughly convinced that they’d be done eating by nine, and then be home by ten or eleven. Of course, that wasn’t the case; Octavia felt like she’d blinked, and suddenly, it was one am, and they were still there. The party was so full of life though, that she didn’t really care about how late it had gotten. She’d laughed as she smashed that pinata into tiny pieces, and she’d danced, badly, and her drunken singalongs had been even worse. She’d probably spoken to every person at the party over the last few hours too, including some people she didn’t even know; like Roan, who looked like a good guy, despite the fact that he was puking in the bushes before midnight. She’d met Emori for the first time that night too, along with a couple of her friends, but they all seemed nice too, if a little standoffish.

Beyond that, she couldn’t really remember anyone else she had met, but maybe that was because the last few hours were also a bit of a blur too. She figured that was sort of the nature of a house party though; seeing someone, once for five minutes, only to not see them again the rest of the night. Octavia was pretty sure the alcohol in her system was helping with her confusion too. Although, it seemed like every pass through the kitchen, she was grabbing a glass of water now, instead of more booze. She guessed that if she was still aware enough to know that drinking water was key in preventing hangovers, she wasn’t _that_ drunk yet. She wasn’t planning on getting any drunker either; she had plans for the rest of her evening, if she could convince Anya to leave. It wasn’t like Octavia wasn’t enjoying her party, but she really wanted time for a private one with Anya too.

Of course, the all-night marathon that Octavia was imagining would require hydration as well, so she quickly made her way back to the kitchen for another glass of water. It was a bit of a trial getting there, dodging through drunk people swaying on their feet, but eventually, she reached the kitchen, only to find Anya locked in a heated discussion with Lexa. She heard Anya say something like, “ _Come on, cuz… this is important,”_ but Octavia couldn’t make anything else out; she was too far away. She couldn’t get any closer without seeming like she was eavesdropping either, so she decided to make herself busy with that glass of water instead.

Just as she was filling the green plastic cup to the brim, she heard Lexa loudly exclaim, “You know what? I know how to settle this… Arm-wrestling… You and Me… Right Now!” Trying not to spill her drink, Octavia whipped around towards them, but still only caught just the briefest flash of muscle before Anya had Lexa’s wrist pressed firmly onto the breakfast bar. Lexa scoffed just as loudly as before, and said, “Not fair… I wasn’t ready…” From the smirk on Anya’s face, Octavia figured that was a lie, but Anya just clasped hands with Lexa again; and, beat her again just as quickly. After a second to pout, Lexa slunk away, probably feeling embarrassed that Anya had beaten her not once, but twice. It was only a second or two before Anya had a new challenger though, and as Lincoln rolled out his shoulders, Octavia’s jaw dropped. She loved Anya’s wiry, tightly strung muscles. She loved feeling them twitch and strain under her hands; she loved what Anya could do to her with them, but when Lincoln’s hand gripped Anya’s, Octavia nearly drooled over the way Lincoln’s muscles moved under his skin. She’d been thinking more and more about what she and Anya had talked about, inviting Lincoln to join them in their playroom, but seeing the two of them together made her physically weak in the knees.

When Anya shot her a little pleased smirk, Octavia almost felt like she’d been duped, but then Anya’s pheromones surged, and Lincoln winced. Octavia absolutely gaped then, as Anya struggled for only a second before she pushed the back of Lincoln’s hand down to the counter. She heard Lexa mutter something crude, but it was extremely muffled by the blood rushing in Octavia’s ears. Seeing Anya’s displays of dominance always did things to her, but the fact that Anya had used those pheromones to dominate Lincoln made Octavia melt. She was sure she was blushing, and of course, Anya noticed too. Before Octavia could even blink Anya was stepping away from the breakfast bar and moving towards her with purpose. Anya was immediately blocking her view of the rest of the room, crowding into her space to whisper, “if you liked that, you’re going to love what I have planned for later…”

_Later,_ couldn’t come soon enough after that, and as the minutes dragged on, Octavia found Anya and Lincoln talking together more than once, shooting her little hungry glances whenever they noticed her watching them. Every time they fixed their eyes on her, she felt herself grow more and more slick, until finally she had to excuse herself to the bathroom to clean up a little bit. She knew if she didn’t, she would end up alerting everyone else to their after-party plans. Luckily, by that point, most of the people who were left were drunk; save for Clarke of course, who was busy running around helping people get to their cabs and ride-shares, making sure no one drove home drunk. Jasper and Monty and Harper and Maya were some of the stragglers, but when they left, it was like the party left with them. The last few people remaining after that were all sleepily waiting for their rides home. Once most to those people were taken care of, Clarke and Lexa finally left too. Octavia and Anya and Lincoln were actually the last ones to leave, but only after Sober Lincoln assured Drunk Abby that he would see them home safely.

It wasn’t until they were on the sidewalk in front of the townhouse that Octavia really understood what ‘seeing them home safely’ meant. Lincoln was intending on driving them home, chauffer style. That seemed like a bit much, but as Lincoln took her hand and started walking her towards the car, Anya’s hand found its resting place on her hip too. It was a nice distraction, having both sets of hands on her; one supporting and one possessing, but when Octavia settled into the backseat of Anya’s car, with Anya sliding in beside her, the gravity of what they were about to do actually hit her. She wasn’t nervous per se, but the idea of being with someone other than Anya, someone other than her only one, was a little daunting. All her old insecurities resurfaced, making her wonder if she would be enough for both of them, but as Anya pressed into her side, she felt a few of those worries drift away too. Anya would be with her the whole time; Anya would be there before, during, and _after_. If it was too much or if Octavia got too nervous to go through with it, Anya would still be there. If it was awful, it would be Lincoln who left when they were done. She really hoped it wouldn’t be awful though. If she was being honest with herself, she hoped it was going to be the best night of her life so far; with the exception of the first time Anya had told her she loved her, of course. She figured that if their night together was second-best, that’d be alright too.

The ride home was relatively short, considering they had to go all the way across town, but it being as late as it was, there was very little traffic. On a normal Sunday night after dinner, it usually took them more than a half hour to get home, but it was really only twenty minutes when there weren’t any other cars on the road. Still, those twenty minutes seemed to last a lifetime, and by the time they were getting out of the car, Octavia felt raw with nerves, her anticipation and anxiety slowly whipping her into a frenzy. Thankfully, Lincoln dropped them off in front of the building and then went to park the car, allowing Octavia a minute to just stand with Anya on the sidewalk and let Anya’s protective scent make her feel safe. Anya murmured things in her ear as they waited; little comforts like, “Remember, this is all about you… We do this on your terms… You have final say… You say stop, we stop…” Every time Anya spoke, Octavia felt a little more confident, shakily reassuring Anya back at first, but by the time Lincoln turned the corner, walking back towards them, Octavia was ready to move on. She was ready to _finally_ get her real birthday gift.

Even though she was expecting it, when they finally walked through the door of their apartment, Anya’s harsh tone still sent a shiver down her spine. “Why don’t you go wait for us in the playroom, baby girl. I need to speak to our guest before we begin,” was all Anya said, but the intent was very clear. Obviously, Anya wanted to establish, or maybe re-establish, the rules with Lincoln, and for that, Octavia was extremely grateful; Anya’s concern for the rules they had laid out, making the long wait ahead seem that much more bearable. It was a long wait too, leaving Octavia plenty of time to start to doubt herself again, but Anya’s little reassurances from earlier managed to stick with her too. Ultimately, Octavia decided that what she really needed was some control over the situation; or rather, to give her control to over to Anya and trust her to make the rest of their night their most pleasurable one yet. So, instead of standing there, just waiting and waiting, Octavia quickly stripped off all her clothes and folded them neatly before setting them aside. Then, she knelt in the floor at the foot of the bed, knowing that she wouldn’t even have to say anything; Anya would know exactly what she wanted the second Anya entered the room.

 They hadn’t expressly discussed this part, bringing power plays into their evening with Lincoln, but with the way Octavia was feeling, she knew it was the only way. She needed Anya to continue dictating the terms once they got started, because while Octavia was still anxious, her arousal at the situation was definitely winning out. It wasn’t more than a minute of kneeling on the floor before she felt the first trickle run down her inner thigh, and that was from just thinking about the look on Anya’s face when she finally found Octavia kneeling there. Her nipples were hardened into sharp points as well, imagining Anya’s eyes roving hungrily over her nakedness. She felt herself drip again when she thought about Lincoln’s face appearing over Anya’s shoulder, looking shocked but just as hungry for her too. She shivered and quaked as she thought about those eyes becoming hands; touching her, squeezing her, taking her. She actually whimpered when the ghost of Anya’s touch drifted over her skin, but when she imagined Lincoln’s hands rubbing over her sides, or cupping her breasts, she nearly cried out instead.

Roughly pulled from her daydreams by someone chuckling nearby, Octavia’s eyes shot open and quickly fixed on the twisting doorknob. She tried to calm her racing heart as the door to the playroom finally creaked open, but with only mild success. She was sure Anya could hear it, with how hard it was beating, but when their eyes met and a soft smile spread across Anya’s face, Octavia’s heart suddenly slowed, their connection reestablished with just one look. Lincoln’s voice drifted into her consciousness then too, and his words calmed her further, when he whispered, “gods, she’s beautiful…”

Anya didn’t look away from her as she replied, “I know… she’s _my gorgeous girl_.” The way Anya said that made Octavia shiver all over again, and she struggled to keep from whining as Anya’s lips kept moving, mouthing a soft, ‘I love you…’ before she moved the rest of the way into the room. It seemed that Lincoln was frozen in the doorway, but he hopped to when Anya called out to him, “Come on in, Linc, and close that door, would you?” Octavia could only watch him out of the corner of her eye though, too fixed on Anya to pay him much attention. Anya kept moving towards the closet, obviously exaggerating her slow, sinuous movements, and Octavia couldn’t tear her eyes away, even after Anya disappeared inside the walk-in. Their disconnection didn’t last long however, when a second later, she heard Anya call out to them, directing her words to Lincoln first as she said, “Pull that chair in the corner out into the room and make yourself comfortable, Linc… I want you to have a good view while I get my girl ready for us.”

The sound of chair legs dragging over the floor followed, but again Octavia couldn’t look away from the open closet door, not when Anya was calling out to her then instead, “Why don’t you wait for me on the bed, baby girl?” Even with the command, Octavia felt rooted to her spot, so-very-aware of Lincoln seated now, not three feet away from her. Thankfully, Anya kept going, eventually adding, “On your hands and knees, if you please?” The sing-song quality of Anya’s words drew Octavia’s focus, and she smiled as she slowly got to her feet. Anya was obviously trying to keep the game light, and Octavia was grateful for that, but when she finally mounted the bed and turned so that she was on display for Lincoln, Octavia felt wetness dribble down her thigh again.

With the evidence of her arousal slowly running down towards her knee, it was suddenly too much, too soon, and she slammed her thighs shut again, feeling way too exposed. Lincoln’s soft voice brought her back from the edge of panic though, as she heard him whisper, “Octavia, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen… I’ve always thought so… so bright and fierce, never afraid of anything… you— you don’t need to be afraid of being beautiful now…” From the low quality of his voice, Octavia knew Lincoln hadn’t moved from his chair, but the slight tension in his tone told her that if she said the word, he would leave without looking back. She didn’t want that though; she wanted him _there_. She wanted to know what it felt like to have him watch while Anya touched her. She wanted to know what it would be like to have Anya tell him to touch her. She _wanted_ him to touch her. Just at the thought, she felt herself leak again, wetness trickling down between her still clenched thighs, and she shuddered when a soft gasp came from Lincoln’s direction. His chair creaked as he shifted forward too, but when he exhaled, it was in an even softer whisper, as she said, “or… I can leave if that’s what you need…”

Throat too dry and tongue too thick, Octavia couldn’t speak. She wanted to; she wanted to say that that was the last thing she wanted, but the words just wouldn’t come, no matter how matter how many times she swallowed at the lump in her throat. After several failed attempts, she decided that answering with her body would have to be enough. Slowly, she glanced over her shoulder, meeting Lincoln’s timid gaze with her own before she shifted her knees apart again. She saw his eyes flick towards the movement, but it was only for a second before his eyes flashed back to her own. She wanted him to look though, so she shifted her upper-body weight down onto her elbows; the angle of her body driving her ass further up into the air. Lincoln’s gaze dashed away again, but this time he didn’t immediately look back at her face. He gasped again instead, as his eyes fixed at the apex of her thighs.

Octavia felt his eyes almost like a caress and shivered as she dripped all over again. The cold trickle made her back to arch too, forcing her breasts sag deep enough that her still straining nipples scratched against the fabric of the comforter beneath her. She groaned as they made just the lightest amount of contact and the pleasant sensations distracted her a little bit. When she heard the legs of Lincoln’s chair shift against the floor, she remembered her position though and whined, absolutely throbbing for contact _elsewhere_. It was almost overwhelming, but then a smooth hand pressed down on her tailbone and she sighed as she heard Anya say, “ _So gorgeous_ … and she’s dripping already too, just from you looking at her… I wonder what she’ll do when you’re actually touching her.”

Cheeks flaring in a hot blush, Octavia turned her head, trying to subtly bury her embarrassment in the pit of her elbow. At the move, Anya’s nails dug lightly into her lower back, and Octavia barely had time to brace herself before Anya’s other hand swatted her upturned ass. It was definitely more bark than bite, and the slight sting quickly burned away, but she knew what she’d done to warrant it and turned her head back towards Anya, despite her ruddy, flushed expression. She knew that Anya liked to be able to see her face whenever they tried something new; and, this was _definitely_ new. When she opened her eyes and found Anya’s gaze already fixed on her face, she almost smiled. The clear love and adoration she saw in Anya’s eyes was the cooling balm she needed to fight off her embarrassment.

Anya’s hand moving over her ass helped too, soothing her surely reddened skin. The strokes were with purpose however, and Octavia knew what purpose was without being told; Anya was warming her up for another smack. The soft caresses were to give Octavia plenty of time to prepare before Anya pulled away to deliver a harder, sharper blow. That was just what Octavia wanted too, knowing that the harsher contact would only help her sink deeper into their scene anyway. She slowly blinked at Anya, trying to indicate that she was ready, not knowing whether Anya would read the gesture as consent or not. It seemed that it was enough though, because then the skin of her ass burned like fire and a sharp _thwack_ sounded out into the quiet room. It was almost as if Octavia was able to detach herself from the pain though, the burning quickly giving way to the pleasant heaviness that always followed one of Anya’s blows.

If Octavia had expected more, she would have been disappointed, but truly, she wasn’t disappointed at all by what happened next; especially when Anya’s hand was only rubbing over her ass for a moment before it began drifting lower. Octavia simply couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore when Anya’s fingertips slid through the slick between her thighs. She sank into the touch ever-so-gratefully, but then, her eyes shot open again as she heard Anya say, “Is that what’s got you so wet and ready, baby girl? You want Lincoln to touch you?”

Knowing Anya wouldn’t take anything less than hearing her say it, Octavia managed to finally choke out a broken, “Y— yes… Ple-ease…” She let her eyes slipped closed again though, feeling her cheeks flush even more at how needy she sounded. Anya rewarded her for her neediness though, slipping her fingers up her wet thighs to finally tease at touching her clit. The contact was too light to really give her any relief from the downright ache she felt there, but Octavia knew better than to try to push back for more. With how tenuous the situation was, Octavia knew that Anya would read even the slightest disobedience as hesitation on her part. The last thing she wanted was to break the scene, so Octavia fought to keep still, even when Anya’s touch started to get softer and softer. Octavia was so worked up by the time Anya pulled away, she thought she might go crazy before Anya touched her again. Then the flat of Anya’s hand landed suddenly across her folds and Octavia whined into the sharpness, thinking maybe she was already there for enjoying it.

A little light chuckling followed her whine, before Anya finally said, “Don’t worry, little O. I’ll make sure you get what you need… but you’re gonna have to make yourself useful first…” Octavia had an idea of what that meant, and when Anya’s fingers carded through her hair and pulled, she moved along oh-so-willingly, allowing Anya to pose her any way she wanted. Of course, Octavia ended up braced on her hands again, with Anya’s fingernails still scratching in her scalp. Octavia knew what that meant too, and immediately opened her eyes, responding easily to the unspoken request. Instead of moving her eyes up to Anya’s face, Octavia didn’t get any farther than the new piece of black silicone that was jutting out from the opening in Anya’s pants. There was nowhere else to look really; the damn thing was staring her right in the face, almost rudely bumping into her nose as Anya shifted on her feet in front of her. Anya’s grip tightened in her hair then, and Octavia automatically let her lips fall open, knowing it would only be another second before Anya was pushing into her mouth. She took as much as Anya would give her too, moaning softly when Anya called out above her, soft yet firm, “That’s a good girl… Take me in, get me nice and wet for you.”

As the silicone sunk deeper inside her mouth, Octavia finally looked up, only to immediately see the raging fire of lust Anya was trying to hold back. Wanting to unleash that blaze, Octavia surged forward, pulling Anya as deep inside her throat as she could, hoping her enthusiasm would get Anya to move as well. She was at least partially successful, feeling Anya’s hips jerk once before Anya’s grip in her hair turned to iron and held her steady as Anya withdrew. Octavia whined as Anya’s length slipped from between her lips, but when she saw the smirk that had spread across Anya’s face, she knew she was in trouble. She watched as Anya slowly turned her head towards their guest, Octavia’s eyes eventually focusing on Lincoln instead of Anya as well.

The first thing she noticed was the way his hands were gripping the arms of his chair, knuckles stark white and straining. With his darker skin tone, Octavia wondered how hard he was having to grip in order to turn his knuckles that color. Her eyes traced inwards from there and when she spotted the bulge pressing against the crotch of his pants, she whined, thinking about how hard Lincoln must be to show through his pants like that. She followed his eyeline then, and she smiled when she realized that he seemed glued to the shiny silicone hanging of the fly of Anya’s leather pants. Just the idea of having them both inside her at once, made Octavia drip all over again, as that was the ultimate goal for the evening. It wasn’t long before Anya snapped her back to the present again though, Octavia breaking away from the images flashing through her head, when she heard Anya say, “Looks like our guest is ready to join us, baby girl… What do you think, should I give him your mouth first or that pretty _pussy_ of yours?”

Groaning, Octavia shuddered as Anya’s crude language flowed over her, the words drawing those forgotten images right back to the forefront of Octavia’s mind. Instead of getting lost in them though, she tried to focus on which image she wanted most. She wasn’t sure if she was actually ready to have Lincoln _inside_ her, but she couldn’t deny that the idea of exploring him with her mouth was quite appealing; especially if that meant Anya might fuck her while she did it. Mind made up, Octavia panted out her response as best she could, finally managing to say, “M-my mouth… I— I want to make him wet t-too…”

It was Lincoln’s turn to groan then, and Octavia realized it was the first sound he’d made since Anya had returned to the room. She could almost feel his need straining against his vocal cords though, just like she could see his length straining against his pants. It seemed he had enough sense not to lunge towards them though, instead waiting until Anya said, “I like the way you think, baby girl. That will make things a lot easier moving forward… How very practical of you…” Anya was already beckoning towards Lincoln before she finished speaking, and Octavia squirmed when the arms of his chair creaked as he stood up. It wasn’t hard to tell that Lincoln wanted to adjust himself, a little twinge of pain passing over his face as his pants settled awkwardly over his bulge. It was arousing though, being able to see just how turned on Lincoln was, simple from watching Anya tease her. Octavia decided that when he was finally inside her mouth, she was going to do anything, and everything, in her power to help ease that pain.

As he made his way over to them, he shuffled uneasily, but when he was finally standing beside Anya, it seemed he couldn’t take his discomfort anymore. Octavia’s eyes flashed to the movement when he cupped himself through his pants, and her mouth fell open again. Anya’s dry chuckle sounded out from somewhere behind her, but Octavia couldn’t look away as Lincoln’s pants seemed to draw even tighter over his bulge. The new view offered Octavia a much more detailed idea of what was about to be inside her mouth, and she nearly whined with how badly she wanted that. She almost reached out to touch him then too, her weight shifting on her hands, but a sharp swat across her rear brought Octavia up short. Still, she squirmed again anyway, when she heard Anya say, “Don’t even think about it… You’re gonna need both your hands right where they are…” The bed shifted behind Octavia then, and she sighed as she felt Anya’s hands bracket her hips, knowing she was about to get exactly what she wanted; Anya inside one end and Lincoln inside the other. A long moment of still silence followed that though, and Octavia found herself actually trembling by the time Anya continued, “Go ahead, Linc. Show her what she’s working with…”

It seemed like a lifetime before the button of Lincoln’s jeans popped, and then the zip was slowly dragged down, but even with all that time for preparation, Octavia still gasped as he brought himself out through the fly. Admittedly, Octavia had never seen a real penis before, not in person anyway, but still, she thought she had some idea of what to expect. When her eyes fixed on the swollen head, skin stretched thin and colored to a dark, rich, purple, she suddenly thought that no amount of anatomy classes could have prepared her for this. Lincoln wasn’t as long as his height would imply, but what he didn’t have in length he certainly made up for in girth, easily wider than any toy Anya had ever used on her. It was still wonderful however, just seeing Lincoln straining out towards her, his desperation evident in the way his hand gripped tightly at the base; clearly, he was trying to stem the way he twitched at his own touch. She felt just as desperate when she noticed a drop of fluid starting to pearl at his tip, but as she started to lean towards it, Anya’s hands gripped her hips just a little tighter, Anya holding her still as she scolded her, “Ah, ah, ah… you’ll get it when he gives it you, baby girl… and not a second before.”

Some silent exchange happened then, far above Octavia’s head, but she was far too distracted to notice. She simply sighed when the bed shifted again, as Anya scooted closer to her rear. Even though she was expecting it, she still gasped when she felt Anya’s length brush against her folds, lighting her on fire with just one touch. What really took her breath though, was when Lincoln’s hand started moving over his own length, stroking up and down in time with Anya’s movements behind her. Octavia found herself struggling to focus all over again; the light teasing touch and the visual in front of her already warring for her attention. She didn’t bask in her mystification for long, as Anya chose that moment to finally line up with her entrance and push inside. The pressure was slow and sinuous, gentle and steady, but still, it seemed like only a moment before Anya’s pelvis was pressed almost fully against the swell of her ass. The new silicone toy was longer and thinner than the glass pieces they usually used, but with Anya bottomed out inside her, Octavia found she didn’t really care if it wasn’t the kind of stretch that would make her burn; just having Anya that deep was more than enough to make her see stars. If Anya would move, anyway…

Of course, Anya didn’t move though; as much as Octavia wanted her to, she just didn’t _move_. If it had been any other night, Octavia might have whimpered at the denial, knowing that Anya loved to draw things out, but the tight grip that Anya had on her hips told a different story. It was pretty obvious that Anya was right there with her, struggling not to just take what was hers; their plans be damned. Those hands only squeezed tighter when Lincoln finally took a step closer to them, and then, Octavia’s attention was split once again, as Lincoln shuffled forward once more, this time coming almost within her reach. His sudden proximity made her insides clench and roll in anticipation. It seemed Anya was affected too, and Octavia whined as Anya’s hips suddenly jerked forward, despite not having anywhere to go. The movement forced her forward as well, and Octavia barely managed to get her mouth open before Lincoln’s length nudged past her lips.

There was plenty of fullness then; to the point where Octavia wasn’t sure how she’d even gotten something that wide into her mouth. Lincoln was so thick, his soft skin stretching thin over the hard muscle underneath. For a moment, Octavia thought she could actually feel his pulse beating wildly against her tongue. The sheer volume of sensations nearly overwhelmed her, but then Anya began to pull back, slipping out of her just as slowly as she’d slipped in. The movement drew Octavia back up Lincoln’s length too, until all that was left inside her mouth was just the tip. She lapped over the divot in the head a couple times, groaning as she tasted Lincoln’s saltiness for the first time. She only had time for a quick sample though, before Anya was thrusting forward again; the sharp snap of Anya’s hips pushing Octavia back down onto Lincoln’s shaft instead. She wasn’t sure who groaned then, but as Anya’s hips picked up a slow-out, fast-in, choppy sort of rhythm, Octavia realized the noises were actually coming from her own chest. It was muffled and broken by Lincoln’s shaft dipping in and out of her throat, but if anything, she was only getting louder and more wanton with each thrust.

The vibrations must have really been doing it for Lincoln, because they were only maybe a dozen thrusts in before Octavia felt a hand twist into the hair at the base of her neck. The possessive touch was just what Octavia wanted, even if she hadn’t realized it until it was already happening. His tight grip was as guiding as it was restraining, holding her head up at the right angle so he could begin thrusting as well. The added support allowed Octavia to relax a little bit, and just enjoy being used; and, she was definitely being used, as Anya and Lincoln both began to rut into her more selfishly. It wasn’t long before Octavia’s eyes began to water; Lincoln’s thrusts becoming even more forceful as he got closer to release. She could feel how close he was too, almost _throbbing_ against her tongue. She had just enough headspace to wonder what it would feel like for him to come in her mouth, before Anya’s voice broke her from her thoughts. “You close?” was all Anya said, but somehow, Octavia knew Anya wasn’t asking her that; she’d been close since that first brush of Anya’s length through her folds, and Anya probably knew that already. No, Anya was speaking to Lincoln and he was quick to grunt an affirmative response. Anya’s next words were directed down though, as Anya then prodded her instead, “You hear that, baby girl… Your mouth’s gonna make Linc come… What do you think? Should I left him fill it? Do you want him to?”

As always, it seemed Anya was reading her mind again; they were on the same wavelength so often that it only made sense that Anya would be able to read her then too. Of course, Anya had been so adamant about being the first person to come inside her that Octavia felt a little guilty for wanting Lincoln to release right where he was, but she also figured that Anya wouldn’t offer if she wasn’t willing to allow it. Still, Octavia wasn’t sure if that was really what she wanted, or if it had been just a random thought brought on by her position. She could feel the tension building in Lincoln’s movements though and knew that if she didn’t decide soon, she wouldn’t get much of a say in the matter. Lincoln was the kind of guy who would pull out at the last second if he didn’t have her permission, but just the thought of having to watch Lincoln’s release go to waste on the sheets, made Octavia’s decision for her. She quickly dropped her belly then, the angle forcing her back to arch, and she let out the most convincing ‘uh-huh’ that she could manage with Lincoln still stuffed inside her mouth.

Another silent exchange occurred high above Octavia’s head then, but it was only silent for a moment before she heard Anya say, “You can come in her mouth, Linc… I wanna know if she swallows anyway.” As if permission was all Lincoln had been waiting for, Octavia’s mouth quickly began to fill with heat, as jet after jet of come slammed against her senses. There was so much that her mouth threatened to overflow before she’d even taken her first swallow. She allowed herself only a moment to relish in his salty flavor before she quickly swallowed him down. She tried to keep up, tried not to miss a drop, but after the fourth or fifth stream, there was just too much and she got overwhelmed. She whined as some of his flavor trickled out of the corner of her mouth before she could stop it. The sight must have been something to behold however, because Lincoln’s hand clenched even tighter in her hair; his grip tilting her head back a little further so he could see. Octavia found she didn’t mind the new angle though, especially because now she could watch Lincoln’s blissed out expression as he chased the end of his orgasm.

Eventually, his release did taper off too; and while, Octavia was a little disappointed when he pulled free of her mouth with a slick smack, it wasn’t like she was going to complain. Anya was still inside her, rutting softly against her ass, keeping her stimulated but not overly so. After a moment, Lincoln’s hand slipped from her hair, but then there were other hands slipping around her instead. It was only a second before Anya was lifting her up onto her knees. The shift of the silicone pulled a jagged moan from Octavia’s messy mouth, but then one of Anya’s hands settled over her clit, and Octavia went absolutely wild. The contact forced her eyes shut and the slightest bit of pressure made her breath catch, hard. She couldn’t stop it when every muscle in her body pulled taut in reaction. Teeth met the side of her neck for a moment before Anya growled, “ _Come…”_ against her skin. That was all it took; only seconds later, Octavia was gushing all over her own thighs. Her release seemed never ending too, as wave after wave of wetness rushed out of her body. There was so much she could actually feel it soaking into the bed under her knees. If she’d been more self-conscious, she probably would have been embarrassed about the mess, but she knew how much Anya loved seeing her come like that; inhibitions totally gone, only leaving pleasure behind. With the way Anya was still coaxing her through, Octavia figured there would be at least one more puddle by the time they were actually finished for the night anyway.

Coming down seemed like it took a very long time too, but eventually Octavia felt like she had some control over her body, and she opened her eyes. What she found made her breath hitch again though, as she took in Lincoln’s hand stroking over his length again; this time with a condom in between his palm and his shaft. He was obviously working himself up for another round, but Octavia knew what that condom meant; he would be fully inside her the next time he came. Just the sight was enough to drive Octavia wild all over again, and she found herself choking out, “Wa-Want… want to ride him… please, A-Alpha, let me ride him…”

Anya’s soft chuckle next to her ear was pleasing, but Anya’s response was even better, and Octavia sighed when she heard Anya whisper, “that is the plan, baby girl… that way we can fill you so full you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” The image those words sparked made Octavia groan just at the thought; Lincoln’s thick shaft filling her to the point of burning while Anya drove into her ass over and over again. It wasn’t long before Octavia got just that too; Anya slowly bending her forward to pull out, only to immediately start shuffling her forward to pose her over Lincoln’s lap. He rubbed through her folds a few times as Anya helped her get situated, and Octavia was amazed at how hot he felt against her core; even through the condom. She barely had time to process that thought though, before Anya was encouraging her to sink down. She got as far as the crown before she had to pause the first time; the burning stretch _absolutely searing_ its way through her at first. With a little time to adjust, she managed to continue, Anya encouraging her and guiding her the whole way. Still, Octavia had to pause again about half way down, just to relax herself enough to take the rest of him. Not once did either of them rush her, even though Octavia could tell Lincoln wanted to just grab her hips and pull her down.

After what felt like an hour, Octavia finally bottomed out on his lap. There was another pause then while she adjusted again, but honestly, it was only a few moments before Octavia felt like if she didn’t move, she might explode. Anya’s hands on her hips wouldn’t let her move yet though, and it wasn’t hard to figure out why. Anya wanted to be inside her too before they lost themselves in each other. Thankfully, Anya didn’t make her wait long; it was only a minute or so before she felt Anya probing at her rear entrance, teasing her rim without pushing inside. It was almost torturous; the light touch making her jerk and squeeze, but then she felt Anya start to exert pressure, and Octavia tried her best to relax. After only the slightest resistance, Anya finally slid forward with a groan.

The sudden fullness choked all the air from Octavia’s lungs, and she barely managed to get control over herself before she came all over Lincoln’s lap. That urge became even harder to fight as Anya started to gently thrust in and out of her ass, moving in deeper and deeper with each stroke. Anya probably knew just exactly how close she was though and choose that moment to distract her, asking her softly, “does that feel good, baby girl? are you squeezing him as hard as you’re squeezing me?” Groaning, Octavia nodded as best she could; knowing that, at least in that moment, she couldn’t trust her voice. Anything she said would probably come out as a garbled mess anyway. She felt Anya grinning against the side of her neck then, obviously pleased with herself. That contact only lasted for a second before Anya pulled away from her neck, purring into Octavia’s ear instead, as she said, “good, cause I’m all the way in…”

_Those words_ ; it was all Octavia had been waiting for. She didn’t wait for permission; she couldn’t. She came so hard then, that she thought she’d never be able to top it as long as she lived. Of course, when Anya started moving again, she knew that wasn’t the case. Anya’s rhythm was demanding right from the start, and every time Anya thrusted forward, the burn of Lincoln’s thick girth returned as well. Before she knew it, Octavia was crying out towards the ceiling as another orgasm rocked its way through her already overstimulated body. Anya didn’t stop pushing into her though, and Octavia had just enough brain power left to understand her when Anya said, “that’s my good girl… come all over us both…” There was an absolute chorus of groans then, as she and Anya and Lincoln all reached their peaks together. It was a little disappointing not being able to feel the heat of Lincoln’s release, but the denial was good too. It would only make it that much sweeter when it was Anya who was finally coming inside her instead. That was still awhile away though. In fact, when her orgasm began to dwindle, Octavia thought it would be a while before she was conscious again, as her vision swirled to black.

Waking up sometime later, Octavia found herself, mostly clean and mostly warm, in her own bed. There were voices drifting into her ears, but in her half-awake state it was hard to make sense of it. She thought she heard Lincoln say something like, “No… no, I’m good… Don’t worry about me…” but then Anya was cutting him off with a husky whisper of her own, saying, “Linc, really, you should just _stay_ … She’ll be disappointed when she wakes up in the morning and you’re not here…”

It was right around the ‘stay’ that Octavia began to connect the dots, and by the time Anya’s voice trailed off, Octavia was already trying to sit up. She managed, with a groan, but at least the sound forced Anya and Lincoln to turn towards her. She was sure she looked an absolute mess; hair probably sticking up at all angles, but she just fixed both of them with her steeliest stare and husked, “If you both don’t get in this bed, right now…” Obviously, Anya didn’t need any more convincing than that, quickly sidling over to her side of the bed and crawling in under the sheets. Lincoln hesitated though, clearly looking torn. Between what and what, Octavia had no idea, but she figured she could probably guess. Maybe, he felt fine when they were in the playroom because it was fun and playful but getting into their bed with them seemed to hold more significance for him. Octavia could understand that, but after what they’d all just shared together, having Lincoln in their bed only felt right. It felt like there was some connection there, something that had always been there; it had just needed the right conditions to bloom into something more. She wasn’t sure she wanted him in their bed every night, but in that moment, Octavia couldn’t imagine waking up the next morning without both of them.

It seemed that she was going to have to tell Lincoln that to persuade him to stay, but just as she opened her mouth, he started making his way over towards the bed, choosing the side opposite from Anya. He stripped his off t-shirt and jeans as he moved, leaving him in only his boxers, and Octavia couldn’t help but snicker when she saw the fabric was already tented again. Anya must have noticed too, as Octavia heard her say, “Yeah, you’re ok, huh? What, were you just gonna jerk off when you got home?” Lincoln just huffed and crawled into the bed, rolling away from both of them once he was under the covers. He was a bit too tall and broad for Octavia to effectively be his big spoon, but she tried anyway. Anya wrapped one arm around her middle, while throwing her other out over Lincoln too. He jerked at the contact at first, but as Anya’s arm began moving up and down, Octavia felt him begin to relax again. It was only a minute or two before he was rocking softly into Anya’s movements, breath heavy as he panted towards release. Octavia whined, feeling a little left out, but then Anya’s arm around her belly shifted down, and suddenly, she was gasping right along with Lincoln.

Her hands were mostly trapped between her body and Lincoln’s, but still, she dug her fingers into the first available surface, trying tried to ground herself against Anya’s touch. Apparently, Lincoln had a little thing about pain with his pleasure too, because the second her nails dug into his skin, he jerked and stiffened, groaning out his release into the darkened room. Octavia was only a moment behind him, gasping again as Anya’s fingers pinched and pulled at her clit. She was already deliciously sore from where they had used her before, and that extra bit of pain really sent Octavia rocketing over the edge. She bucked against Lincoln’s back and he groaned again. She could feel his ass flexing and straining against her pelvis. She could hear his ragged breathing as he tried to catch up. She could almost smell his saltiness filling the air. His groans turned though, sounding more puzzled than pleased, and Octavia couldn’t help but laugh as he huskily said, “Damn it… I guess I really can’t go home now…” If that had been it, Octavia could have easily fallen into a dreamless sleep, but then Lincoln continued, and her interest was piqued once again, as he said, “Well, Anya… you’ve made this mess… are you gonna clean it up?”

There was a moment of absolute dead silence then, as all three of them took in Lincoln’s more demanding tone, but then Anya’s dry chuckle filled the void once more before she said, “I guess that seems fair…” Octavia didn’t know what to think as Anya began crawling over her, pushing down the covers as she went, but by the time Anya had worked Lincoln’s boxers down to his knees and taken him in her mouth, Octavia wasn’t worrying about what to think anymore. Seeing Anya, her big, bad alpha, Anya, on her knees in between Lincoln’s thighs, sucking him like she was enjoying it, was something Octavia never thought she’d ever experience. Not that she minded, it was probably one of the hottest things she’d ever seen. Of course, leave it to Anya to one-up herself; all Octavia could do was gape as she watched Anya bring a hand down in between her legs, gathering her own slick on her fingers before bringing that hand back up in between Lincoln’s legs.

Lincoln, for his part, gasped and jerked and stiffened all over again, but not before he choked out, “D-don’t worry, O… she— she’ll clean you up next…” At that, Octavia almost couldn’t wait until they were done, but when she saw a flash of fire in Anya’s eyes, she tempered her own enthusiasm, knowing that the wait always made things better. She didn’t have to wait long either, as Anya sprang off of Lincoln’s length to attach herself to Octavia’s clit instead. The sudden rush was overwhelming right from the first suck, but then Lincoln rolled towards her and said, “She really is quite talented with that mouth, but I think we should draw things out a little bit, don’t you?” That drew a whine from Octavia and a groan from Anya, but Lincoln simply chuckled as he pulled Anya away from her core, as he added, “The way things are going, we might just have to draw things out all day…” It was true, the sun had already started to peak in through the curtains; the day had already begun. Something about seeing it struck Octavia in an odd way and she immediately wondered, with how they were all feeding off each other, how would they ever stop. Of course, she knew; eventually, their bodies would give out from exhaustion and they would have to stop, but she decided if that was the case, she was going to enjoy every waking minute she had left with both of them.

So many things went through her head that day; the way things had changed, the way she had changed, the pleasures that she had discovered with Anya, and then shared with Lincoln. She drifted along in the sea of those thoughts as she was laid out again and again; under Lincoln, or Anya, or both. Sometimes, it was a lot to take in; sometimes it was just a tease at the edge of her mind, but it seemed that those thoughts were there to stay. It seemed that Lincoln was there to stay as well, and the deeper they got into each other, the less that thought bothered Octavia. The three of them, together, was a storm that had been brewing all along; it just seemed like the time had finally come for it to move over them.

 

~~~

 

To say things were perfect from there; that would be a lie, but _lives were lived_. Jobs changed, and for some, they changed again. Money was earned and saved, but it was spent and wasted too. Sometimes, it was spent on important things, like investing in their businesses or buying new cars, but just as many times, it was used to make joy; spent on frivolous vacations and fancy new toys. Their business’s prospered, but they struggled too, right along with the people who owned them. Sometimes those struggles made the leap into their personal lives, leaving some lonely nights spent on the couch. Of course, in the morning, those break-ups always became make-ups anyway.

_Love_ was made, and obviously, sex was had; heats were celebrated too, and babies were born. Some of those babies were adopted, but that was mostly out of necessity; physical stresses and years of suppressants eventually leaving no other options. That didn’t mean those children weren’t loved just the same; if anything, they were the most cherished. Families expanded; twos easily becoming threes, and some threes finally becoming fours and fives. Naturally, people were lost along the way too; first, a father and uncle, decked out in his full-dress blues one last time, honored for leaving the world a hero. Then, the once-protégé turned mentor, the one who had become such an important part of all their lives, that anytime for her to be taken would have been too early. Even one of their own fluttered along the edge for a while, well ahead of her own time, until finally, that five-year-long battle with breast cancer was won.

That’s how life goes though. It has ups and downs. It has wins and losses. Still, one at a time, or all in a group, _lives get lived_ , and it seemed that the journey, and the story that that journey created, was really the point all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, somehow, I finished this monster of a chapter; I finished this monster of a story. I don't think the reality of that has hit me yet. I've spent so long pouring myself into this, that I'm not sure where to go from here. I've got some ideas... maybe, a set of one-shots from Echo's perspective about her relationship with Bellamy. Of course, there's the little matter of Octavia's first heat to deal with too. That probably deserves a little attention... I've also promised a sequel to my other work, The Bandit and The Barmaid, as well, but I definitely don't feel like I'm done with the So Klingt Liebe universe either... That being said, is there a scene you wanted to see but didn't get to? Is there something missing? Let me know in the comments and I'll see what I can do... It may take me a while to get back to you, as I'll be on vacation in another country for the next ten days (my ten-year-anniversary, finally taking a honeymoon, trip), but as always, I will respond to any and all comments...
> 
> One last time, I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who has taken this journey with me. First, my wife, who puts up with me, and takes care of me, and just loves me. She really is the best... To those who have been with this since the beginning, your heartfelt words and your praise have touched me in a way that I can't really describe. Your constructive criticisms and your questions have made me a better writer, and all in all, a better person. To the folks that have joined us along the way, your enthusiasm is in no way less of an inspiration to me. The following that has formed around this story means more to me than anyone will ever know... From the bottom to the top of my heart, thank you, all of you...


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